From a male LIB reader
The purpose of my writing this now is to seek advise, else my mind imaginations and anger within can make me make my unwise wife pay dearly. I love my wife dearly and I cannot say of her, but she's always loving when we are on good terms. My wife pride has made her do things and she still feels ok with. I thank God she's not even a graduate for now, else no one would have been able to control her pride. Naturally she's always bitter, but I try to be in her good books, but lately, I found out whenever we have an argument and disagreement she makes food for herself alone, so for like two weeks, a housewife living with her husband has not asked him what to eat for breakfast whatsoever. How do I pay this kind of woman back, I have so many imaginations and ideas popping up in my mind, how best to deal with her everlasting, though, this her singular act can never make me forgive her, because, for a woman to feel its her right not to make food in whichever guise, to me its an unforgiving sin, I know wives shouldn't do that, but ill mannered ones can do, the price such should have paid should not only be divorce, but..Shes presently pregnant for me, our first child, I dont even know if I am cursing or something, but I dont wish her better sha....I can already see the future from this little acts.
The few people I have asked what if they are the ones have said their minds, I want extensive opinions, hence my writeup. Also, to say this, she's a salary earner and I am into business, so sometimes, money is hooked up on business, like earlier this year, I expended all money on different things and I also bought two pieces of land, instead of getting one piece of land, in both our names (Mr $ Mrs) and I told her there after, if I will have food on the table as the rest money is tied up on other businesses that will bring money, she agreed, if not, I would have bought one plot and have big money to use till money will come in from my other investments, but that's my albatross now, as she has used the fact I dont have money presently to feel assuming, feed herself and make me feel like shit, hoping for when I will eat from the dustbin..What if it were you reading me now?
262 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 262 of 262As for me it's not an issue if both of you works and no body to help I think you should learn how to be independent,so get up and help yourself, stop depending on somebody
Mr, the first thing that comes to mind is that you have the same mindset with your wife if not worse. everything aside, she is a pregnant woman and that comes with all sorts.
when i was pregnant my husband was very lovely to me, sometimes not and then i would really change, make food for the house and probably not serve him but the food is in the pot still. all i wanted was attention and he knew it overtime and stuck to the attention bit.
Moreso, your wife does not always have to be the cook, do the cooking sometimes and relieve her of the stress.
Overall,talk to her.....nicely. no cursing plzzzzzzzzz
I totally agree wt you.....y wont u gv ur husband food cuz u guys r hvin a fyt...on d oda hand sm men won't even eat d food sef....hmmmm...smtyms I dread marraige....God help mi *asabi*
This story is one sided, it takes two to tangle. This young man must have done something to his wife to warrant such ill-treatment from her. As he mentioned he wishes her bad (HIS PREGNANT WIFE ) , that alone shows he isn't as innocent as he portrays in his story. Please call your wife talk to her and resolve what so ever is causing the issue and also pray about it. If your are heavenly conscious u should know there isn't any room for divorce. You are the head so behave like one.
Good luck.
It takes two to quarrel in a marriage.
1. Most likely when you have money your wife doesn't know. You probably keep telling her you don't have so she is fed up of hearing the same story. Even when business brings in money, you are giving her peanuts without communicating or understanding.
2.You bought land for both of you-did you discuss with her before doing so? If you did then she would have understood where all your money is tied up.
3. You come across like a typically selfish man who runs his own "show". then when he has a problem, expects his wife to fall in line and co-operate. It doesn't work like that.
4. I am not excusing what your wife is doing-its very bad -but she is trying to get a message across to you albeit in the wrong way.
And you are responding in the typical selfish way you are wired-thinking of harming her.
I suggest you swallow your own bitterness too and sit her down to talk with her. two wrongs will never make a right. You cannot bring a child into a home that is filled with so much bitterness
Talking during times like this helps a marriage to grow and you will understand yourselves better.
Oboy your gbagaun too much oh! E fit make woman run oh..choi!
You spoke my mind
I am a Nigerian. I read these blogs sometimes and anytime I come across stories like this I am so grateful to God I didn't marry a Nigerian. I am married to an American for 18 years now and American men are wired differently. My husband cooks, cleans-its no big deal to him- and he also provides financially. In spite of his providing financially, my not cooking is not an issue at all. In fact, if and when Im cooking, he joins in. Sometimes he just takes over the kitchen on his own whilst I do other things. Its no big deal to him at all. He doesn't have it in his head that it is my "duty" to cook for him. Nigerian men have the mentality that their wife is a slave. She must cook and clean for them. Now in addition to that, this man is also expecting that his pregnant wife should provide money whilst he puts up his feet as his "investment in business" incubates. Oh Gosh! WTF!
Hahahahaha.u ds geh,ya a winsh.
Gf with whch money?dint u hear or read hes a broke ass niggar nw?
And you think its better to be gay....dude yo crazy.
Anyways, he should talk to her. If she doesn't listen, then he should fling her out.
Shut up! That's not something to thank god about hisss.
By your comment you are also calling your mother a bitch!! I have nothing against those that are gay but who asked if you are gay? Anyway, I don't blame you, it's because America has made so much noise about homosexuality that you now see it as a badge of honour to announce to all and sundry even when people are not interested, that you like taking it in d ass
You know pregnant women sometime have moody spells right? Moreover, this hubby knew the kind of "difficult" woman he was getting married to. Ps. Men, learn to communicate with your wives, learn to cook and help with the chores. Not everything must end up here as a question.
Dude, paying her back will not solve the problem. You have said she is bitter, which means, something is wrong deep down. Dig out what is wrong and try and solve it. After that, you will see a brand new wife. She is feeling betrayed that you do not care enough to root out whatever is killing her inside and maybe she does not know how to bring it up. I do not support her not cooking for you but the moment she is happy again, you will fee a change in your home. Moreover, remember she is pregnant, you don't want to bring a child into a cold and unhappy marriage. I speak from experience when I say root out whatever it is that is making her bitter and see a brand new wife emerge. All it takes is love and a shoulder to cry on. God bless you as you restore your marriage.
your wife may be bitter about something, you be something you even did to her sometime back.Women don't forget things easily like men.Talk to her, sit her down. Dig it from the root.There's something that is annoying her.Am talking from experience.She may not be a bad wife, something is the cause of her anger.Find out, you are the husband. Find out pls.
He doesn't have money for takeaway unfortunately. But that's a good idea. Show her u don't care.
He doesn't have money for takeaway unfortunately. But that's a good idea. Show her u don't care.
your wife isnt doing it right.....even if she is pregnant, she goes to make her own food, i dont see what it takes her to make for two...
besides, its too early for such "unforgiving" grudges.
you will not repay her, but talk to her. do not assume anything pls...talk, talk and talk. be open minded.
u may have hurt her as well
Wow, I wouldn't want to give advice based on one party's story. But, she's pregnant and hormones causes mood swings. Sometimes, really vicious.
That being said, i'm also pregnant and 9 months married. No matter what my husband does, i'll never do that. No matter how angry i am, i enter the kitchen, cook, serve him, give him a drink. But i wouldn't talk to him sha. Lol.
You don't always have to win fights. sometimes i let my husband win, even when he is wrong. Sometimes, he does same for me. Someone has to mellow for peace to reign. You guys should sit and communicate. Goodluck.
U will die as a gay and rot in hell. Perish soul that has been sold to the devil
Dear I can understand your point, give her some time, it might be as a result of her pregnancy because I did same to my loving husband for about my first three month and he understood that i was not ordinarily like that.
u sounded like an irresponsible man that does not know his duty/role in the family... in the first place, you did not marry your wife because you love her but cos of what you are getting from her. now that she realize and stop doing those sacrifices, you see her as a bad wife. how on earth did you expect a woman to be providing for d family alone and you re too dumb to realize dat she is not happy cos of the burden you place on her. go and get a life cos the so called investment you mention can be a lie. if you re truly a biz man, you should no how to manage ur resources without putting d responsibility on ur woman. i see u to be a gold digger and a selfish man. ladies pls watch out for all dis gold digger nd sugar coated mouth guys out there. the day u stop giving dem money, dat day u become an arrogant wife.
Lol. The guy just complicate the matter with oyibo grammatical.
He said he doesn't have mny for now. Where will get the mny from?
I feel for him though. I don't think he married that wife. There's more to it.
Dear Poster, calm down. You are passing through an examination in your marriage, you can decide to pass this exam or fail it depending on how you handle this challenge. Denying your spouse food or sex is totally wrong but then when such challenge comes your way, the way out is not to think of evil to do to your spouse. God is the one that joined you together, have you prayed to God concerning this? You said you love your wife, then please forgive her for she does not know what she is doing. Let your love cover multitude of her sins. Do more of praying and loving, and less complaining, the lord will see you through. Is not yet late for you and your wife to talk things over and make your marriage small heaven on earth. Wish you happy reconciliation and blissful marriage.
Exactly my mind. There are buried issues that the two of them need to address urgently.
some times when a woman is pregnant she not her self. pls forgive her because of ur unborn baby. she will change
U will die as a gay and rot in hell. Perish soul that has been sold to the devil
Dear poster, your write up is ridiculous and your phrases are horribly jumbled up, as for the punctuations they are atrocious. Pls i beg you, next time you want to complain about your marriage make sure you give anything you write to someone who can edit it before you show it to the world. P/s i think you are d problem in your marriage, work on your attitude n your wife's attitude will change.
Dear poster, your write up is ridiculous and your phrases are horribly jumbled up, as for the punctuations they are atrocious. Pls i beg you, next time you want to complain about your marriage make sure you give anything you write to someone who can edit it before you show it to the world. P/s i think you are d problem in your marriage, work on your attitude n your wife's attitude will change.
Talk to her like a real man.All women have this kind of issues..you need to get her soft spot and win her totally. skip planning any punishment for her,she is your wife..just keep correcting her until she changes for good.
Dear hubby why have you changed the facts as they really are. And I have told you times without number that the element in every successful marriage is communication, if you can only sit down and communicate with me like normal people do we won't be having this problems. And shame on you for airing our dirty linen in public. And yes I know about all the other women you have been with yet I am still around and have gone nowhere and the lies oh the numerous lies you churn out on a daily basis. If you truly love me like you claim I believe talking things out should not be a problem. And for your information you can't eat your cake and have it.
Lol your post is laughable at best! Guy ,can't you enter the kitchen and make food for yourself or better still eat out? Your wife's behaviour is childish .I do so to hubby at times can't help meself :). He simply ignores me and makes a sumptuous meal for himself. And when I am tired of giving the silent treatment I carry on cooking. In fact I now know that if I don't cook he won't starve.
My deariee marriage is a beautiful thing and it was ordained by God and not man,WHILE I SAY SO IS BECOS WE ARE HUMAN, WONT BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH THIS ISSUE LIKE GOD. go on ur kneels and beg God to touch ur wife,woman are soft and beautiful nature,of which u need us in life even though our mouth can kill one attimes, but we are still good, deariee do not let the devil come into ur home,like u said its ur first child u are expecting,the best way to solve dis issue is by prayers and loving ur wife.she pregnant,u neva can tell it may be becos of pregnancy symptoms, bcos women gets irritated when they are pregnant. people who you seek advice from dis blog aint married.SO BE WISE, MARRIAGE IS FROM GOD, GO TO HIM IN PRAYERS....LOVE U LINDA AND PLS DONT FORGET ME WEN SHARING UR 100000 NAIRA
Awww, am sorry didn't read your post properly. Apparently you are financially tied up. Knowing this, if she truly loves you she won't be able to bear the thought of you going to bed hungry. Seems there is already a lot of friction and troubled deep waters running in your marriage, you need to bare your heart and let her know how you feel. If she doesn't listen , get someone she respects and looks up to, to do so
But I don't think it's just a food issue for her, you guys need to dig deeper and root out the real problem(s). All the best.
Really? believing in God and monster in the same sentence??!!.
I hope u know monsters are likened to demons.
I have gone tru wit a girl like ds b4. Its a terrible experience tank we ended up apart. Make her understnd wat she's doin is wrong. Its not a tin one can cope wit
Feel sorry for you. Its a one-sided story thou, but I'd advise you both come to my house, so as to counsel you guys about marriage...as for the profs here who believe slight typo in English is a crime. you don't really have to comment. The msg was posted in reference to matrimonial issue. we don't need a lecturer. chuksray2 y! ID
N 2 wrongs mke a ryt abi, ode!
PEEPS! He is B-R-O-K-E!!!!!!
How is it difficult for you all to understand?
If he had some change, mamaput is there for him to satisfy his hunger.
And yes! A hungry man is an angry man!
Mr Poster, next time, don't bite more than what you can chew!
Buy indomie to eat and drink garri with akara,borrow money from your friends or relations, until business picks up.
Condole?? You are crazy...
Honey that wife of yours is non the wise!!! If I were you true talk I would leave her, there are certain things I can take and certain things I can't. I would leave - go and start living by myself and build a new life, I am like that theres a certain level of bullshit you can and cannot take- that level I can't. As a lady I know my husband will be my King (and I his Queen dont get it twisted) but nothing will ever lead me to stop serving him and praying for him- only when God says stop
I have the answer! Get another woman to cook for you. I tried it and it worked. My wife got scared and resumed her duty with passion.
Lol @ gay
One can easily deduce that your wife is still young and immatured. This is why am not really a fan of early marriage. 80% of we ladies need to get to a certain age before they get married.
Am not trying to say that either of you is at fault because you only told us your own side of the story and we dont leave in thesame house with you two but my point (as a married woman) is that no woman should starve her husband, no matter what the reason could have been.
Please visit your Pastor/Iman for counselling. on your part as a man, be gentle with her and tell her know that her behaviour is unheard of/uncalled for (in a soft tone) because at times we ladies need talking to.
Mind you, it is partinent you dont involve your parents in your marital issues
Your story is one sided, oga are you sure you are not cheating on your wife? if you are stop asap and sit her down for a serious discussions. Ask for forgiveness , if you are not then wait until she give's birth, if she continue's then i am afraid you two got married for the wrong reasons. Una go waka be that, abi nah by force???
Perfect answer
Hahhahahhahahahhahahahahahh cheeeiiii I done faint for laugh... lol
My dear tell am... some men don't just know the very simple thing to do.. if you hear his wife now you will be surprised. .
Cook lil stuff for yourself at home and eat good foods before coming into the house.
Eat nice meals before coming in. Eat outside.
Eat nice meals before coming in. Eat outside.
You're already nurturing hatred that could lead you commit murder or sorts, please becareful, life is far more easy than you make it.
Let her be. Devise a means to take care of yourself like she's absent even if you have to borrow before return on investments. A mistress is not a bad idea. Sleep out, eat out, all with good head. Life is too short to allow one woman make you a convict.
Funny...
I'll pray for you.
Sorry my guy but you are a complete idiot. The both of U are perfect for each other. It's not being served food that's the big issue in your life. Go and grow a pair and deal with both of y'all's issues.
i dont even know who is more childish between the two of u... this is really funny o. Lord please dont make me a childish wife and also please remove every childish man that is coming my way. biko. when i say i need a man i dont mean a boy. i mean a real man who knows what it takes to be a man. and who can make me a better woman.
Mr Man, Did you think Linda Ikeji's blog is the right place to get sound advice for your private and domestic affair. You are a man and God has giving you senses. Please talk to your wife and make her understand, and you also have to understand yourself that since the day you were married you became one flesh. You have to be the man that you are. dont do anything stupid. Just grow up and be a man. As far as I am concerned your wife seems to be a nice and interesting person, you just need to bring out that niceness in her through communication and care and love. She is your wahala now, your load to carry, its up to you to decide if you want to convince her to walk with you through the destination or whether you want to carry her all through. its up to you.
your story is incomplete.....till we hear her side of the story we cannot advice you.......as for me i refused to cook for my husband one time cos i found out he was having an affair, when i confronted him he slapped me that i could not hear for 2 days......i refused to cook for him for about a week till he begged me and apologized......how do u treat her? now she is pregnant do u help her do anything? some men think women exaggerate about tiredness when they are pregnant.....why are u quick to assume it is becos u might not have money? how do u talk to her? men always expect women to condone their excesses while they cannot go the extra mile to tolerate anything little from you......sit and have a heart to heart talk and ask for forgiveness if u have been offending her and not apologizing....only very few women are wicked to their husbands without any reason...
Mr, you're not telling us everything. Why is your wife bitter?? I'm sure you know but shame no go gree you tell us. If your wife is not 'YET' a graduate, then it means she had plans to be, but instead found herself a drop-out, married mother-to-be, carrying not just the burden of pregnancy but the family's financial burden. There were probably times she didn't feel like getting up for work in the morning but had to, cos you both depend on her income. And what business is that, that you have to wait indefinitely for it to yield results, when you know you are expecting a child?? I'll bet she 'loaned' you the money to invest. I have an in-law like you who kept borrowing money from his wife and whose investment was constantly on the 'high seas'. I've seen several cases like yours. And the hidden truth is always the same: You refuse to get a job cos you're too proud to work for anyone, yet your businesses never yield fruit. You're always full of empty promises to your wife about how you'll buy her a Range Rover or whatever as soon as the money comes in, and I'll bet she has never seen these Mr & Mrs. Lands that you're talking about. Meanwhile, hers is the only constant source of income between you, she's fed up and it's starting to show. And because she probably won't split her income with you so you, or hand the entire thing over to you even - SHE'S PROUD. The way I see it, you're the one who should worry about her walking out of the union - baby or not -because mark my words, she eventually will. They usually do. Nuff said.
o boy nah for cooking food you marry am abegi we are not in the dark ages anymore, if you wan chop go cook or buy food for yourself
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