Is there anything wrong with a woman not wanting to change to her husband's name? | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Is there anything wrong with a woman not wanting to change to her husband's name?

So because prolific writer Chimamanda Adichie asked to be addressed as a Ms and not a Mrs, some people are assuming she's separated from her US-based husband, Dr. Ivara Esega?

In an interview with Sun Newspaper on Saturday March 1, Ms Adichie told the interviewer who addressed her as Mrs Chimamanda Adichie, to simply call her Chimamanda Adichie.
“Before we start (the interview), please, I just want to say that my name is Chimamanda Adichie. That’s how I want it; that’s how I’m addressed, and it is not Mrs but Miss. Ms: that’s how I want it. I am saying this, because I just got a mail from my manager this morning. It seems that there are people who attended the church service, and they wrote about it, addressing me as Mrs. Chimamanda (Esega). I didn’t like that at all. So my name is Chimamanda Adichie, full stop!”
Is there anything wrong with what Ms Adichie said? If you go back to history, African women didn't bear their husbands name until the advent of colonization. They bear their parents name. And it's especially difficult if you have already made a name for yourself with your maiden name. Thoughts?

272 comments:

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Unknown said...

Why get married if you wanna keep your name? *confused face*

Anonymous said...

In as much as i don't see people's pictures, But i know whores when they write and their mindset is way too different, they can be easily identified with their comments... eg: Bad dress sense, she wants to try new dicks etc... Well, these are the menace of social media.

Anonymous said...

Abeg guys check Merit Michaels comment. Lol.

able said...

Nothing is wrong with what she want

Anonymous said...

Bona I wish there a like button cos you made a point, and linda hope you are not considering the same thing in the future when you get married

Loudmouthed said...

Exactly, your opinion. So don't force it on anyone.

It's annoying that Nigerians have opinions and like to force it on others

There is nothing wrong with her deciding what she will be called. It is her name and that's her business

Loudmouthed said...

Muguzugu what has 'leaning' got to do with name change? So ignorant!!!

Unknown said...

she's a feminist that's why

Unknown said...

she's a feminist that's why

Anonymous said...

Anon 6:34 pm.. I concor. Even in the England it was never there as their culture until a few centuries ago. Reason being that, the women were wealthy so in other for her husband to convert her wealth, she was forced to bear hiw name. This automatically made her wealth his for the taking. Thus , he can fund the numerous wars of expansion going on then. Do ur research. In Africa a woman was addressed by the clan were she hails from.

Anonymous said...

Of particulars that mean nothing. I am a fully liberal Naija woman. By the time I got married at 29 I had one impediment to name change - I did not like the meaning of my hubby's last name. Sometimes people call me Mrs [husband's name]. Sometimes its Ms [maiden name]. All refer to me so I respond to all. I have never gotten annoyed with anyone over it.

Anonymous said...

Gbam

S.L said...

Bonario well spoken, you took the words outta ma mouth. Assuming she were married to a dangote or alakija would she still say that

Amaka said...

U took the words right out of my mouth! I can't take her seriously anymore.

chifecs said...

Look the picture well well, see as she hold the man, no be she dey marry am so? Maybe na she pay the man dowry sef. How she go answer the man name. Na the Ms I no understand for all dis gbege

Chop Chop said...

I said NO.

Anonymous said...

take it slow madam chimamanda with all the strong willed and high falloting personality. Life shouldnt always b a battle I can hear the battle in her words.

Anonymous said...

Sunmola abi kiloruko e, you are a big uncelebrated fool!!! Haba! What kind of stone age mindset do you have? Geez and you have the effontery to call alloy a fool! Why are you hating on chimamanda and her belief system? instead of you to learn a lesson or two from her you're there hating... How many articles have you written in your life? How many world recognised awards have you gotten??? Ode oshi! Ewu Gambia!!! Rago Kawai!!! Baabu a kali gaskiya!!!! You'd tell me how her opinions on homosexuality affects you adversely or removes money from your miserable bank account!!! Linda please I beg you post this! I want this clown to see it. Thank you

Miracle Onuoha said...

You talk like an illiterate

OMG!WOMAN said...

How is she not being submissive, don't know the understanding they have in their home, wanting to keep her maiden name doesn't make her in any way less submissve

Anonymous said...

Stupid reply. Show me where in the bible that a woman mist bare her husbands name. Even traditionally it is not so. A married woman are addressed by the tribe or clan where she hails. Eg. Daughter of so so. Pls do your research before you insullt someone

Jo said...

my issue is 'how' she sounded in the comment above...comes across as arrogant and know-it-all.

and while it is entirely her prerogative and her hubby agrees, it is not the norm..not where i come from.. the man's family pays a brideprice and you become part of his family and take the family name( not even the man's personal name)...u r addresses as 'anwan' (wife of) so and so....
u cannot even inherit from ur parents unless your father expressly stated so, you cannot take up political appointment from your place but from your husband's...


also, doesn't the Bible say the two become one? and the man was created before the woman and is the head of the family?

i'm a fan of hers but abeg, she isn't more superior than the rest of us...this is all feminist bs

takethat said...

see these muslim women o, people de talk,una de put mouth...we all know you donot change your name cos the marriage is entirely at the man's prerogative, him fit wake up one week after say e no de do again,make u pack...so it's safe that u kuku just keep ur papa name...

Anonymous said...

this woman head don really de swell o...she sounds so arrogant....

Petro... T said...

Bro no mind them, they can only deceive themselves

Anonymous said...

Chimamanda sure is on point. That's a contemporary convention.

But, please Linda, before you start quoting history, be sure. What do you mean if we go back in history African women didn't bear their husbands' names? Na you own dem bear?

lovlyivon said...

Kai Nigerians I fear una anyway una belong dis cloth na white yes na white tht same cloth na black oo yes na black tht same cloth na yellow yes oo na yellow no direction no sense of reasoning according to the bible a man nd woman shall cleave to become one not father nd daughter.. let's say d truth at all times

And Who Approves Linda

Anonymous said...

People should leave her alone, did her husband complain to you!

zibaintl said...

i agree wit some pple comments here.such as if her husbnd na frm bill gate family she for retain adichie?....also..she no de practice wetin she de preach....she say to change name na western stuff...gay na also western stuff but she accept am so bikko make she accept change of name too...anyway linda i know say u de plan not to change ur name.but no worry we go stil know say na u own d blog even after u change frm linda ikeji to linda Adebola or to linda ikeji-Adebola

JJ said...

Interesting.

Anonymous said...

Lmaooo choi you finish her with one word pam Pam lol

JJ said...

Guess whose wearing the pants in her household? Her.

Anonymous said...

Lmaooo eh be like say many people head don knock for here

Anonymous said...

This is a bloody blog not gramme school so get lost

JJ said...

I have accomplished sisters and they both could survive without the support of a man but they still accord their husbands the respect they deserve.

Anonymous said...

Not a thing is wrong with it!

Men want you to take their name when they were not there with you in your struggles to create your own identity. This is nothing more than another creation by men to show their ownership of women and so the woman must take their name as though she was nothing or nobody before that wedded day.

Anonymous said...

Not an African culture to bare the husband s name pls. Gi and ask. Oyinbo brought the idea alongside monogamy. A wife was addressed as daughter of the clan she hails from. Even in England, it wasn't always so. The English lords converted their wife's wealth by forcing her to bare their names. Same surname means I am entitled to a piece of your wealth or the entire thing. Pluuzzeew research well. I did for a documentary and found out alot. Islam doesn't allow it. But women do for the love of their husbands. Simple.

Anonymous said...

Linda, sometimes the comment you approve tend to hurt peoples feelings, just like the comment calling "him a fool", its unfair to approve such honestly. This should be something you look into really! i know you have so many hits and all but these comments are not necessary.

Thank You!

Anonymous said...

LOOL see Nigerian men vessing as if na you she do am for

Stop acting like your egoes are as fragile as egg mayne....dumb fucktards

El Clarividente said...

Foolishness starts to branch out from a dire need to stand out. Chiamanda should not be married legally as it is western and she should not wear a ring as it is western. If it's not broken, dont fix it. What will bearing Mrs. do to her. Foolishness is not equal to Feminism.

Anonymous said...

@LIB Syndrome, she will not debase herself to say that she conducts herself as less than her husband's equal. Even if she does submit privately in her marriage, she will project a modern-day marriage that's a partnership. As a responsible role model, she will not say anything that sets women back 150 years.

Anonymous said...

People are talking about choice here remember we have many young girls that are yet to be married. We are to tread carefully because of misconception, if the author was a vulcanizer's wife will she be able to keep her maiden name?. Why do we insist that a man must perform traditional rites before he can call a woman his wife?. Why do women insist on a white wedding?. If it is a matter of choice a woman can co-habit with a man without informing anyone about the union. We need to make a conscious decision whether we want to respect the culture and tradition of our various people or clown about with 'western' cultural values that do not really care about our value system. Peace

Anonymous said...

All of una papa... If ona marry make ona na wife and children bear their mama papa name. No mata what, if i get married my wife must bear my name and Mrs. FULL STOP.

johnson said...

Of course yes! Why shouldn't she bear her husband's name. No matter how cillvilised she thinks she is, she'll always be a Nigerian. OR is she trying to use the likes of Kim kardashian as an excuse. That would be the lamest reason. #EnoughSaid...

Anonymous said...

People are so dumb I'm an igbo guy so I dnt support dis woman's madness or fame she's actually going over board, mitchell obama is married to barrack obama why didn't she ans her maiden name now shebi na she be world's no 1 first lady, nonsense chimamanda don dey kolo she dey crazy her pride is pissing me off n her over sabi dey worry her now she's saying homosexuality is right abi smh may God forgive u n remove pride in u, even if u wanna maintain ur brand name must u discard ur hubby's name, lol maybe na u dey marry him Bullshit

Miss X said...

I do not understand why she would renounce the title "MRS", if she was a doctor would she request to not be reffered to as "Dr."?

Surname might not be a must, but as a woman I would proudly have the surname of my husband and so will my kids because we are family.

Miss X said...

Even Beyonce is Mrs Carter.

Miss X said...

Name change can be confusing to people since she's known with her maiden name, its the "Don't call me Mrs I can not understand"

Does she wear ring at all?

Miss X said...

All those calling themselves "feminists" and think its something cool, you have no clue.

I did a research on feminism and the fact remains, women came up with it from their insecurities and not strength. Till today noone can tell me what it truly implies.

Anonymous said...

Dear Linda you are so uninformed Miss and Ms dont mean same thing check it and thank me later.
Ms Vivacious

AB said...

If she so wish not to answer her husband's name its not a crime or bad thing most importantly her husband is in support of it. Even Islamically a woman or a wife should answer her father's name... in this regard is 100% supported by me :(

Unknown said...

They are very good igbo men out there, dont generalize because of previous bad experience. #myopinion

Anonymous said...

The difference between the abbreviation ms. and miss, is very simple. Miss is the abbreviation you use when a woman is not married. The abbreviation Ms. is for a person who may or may not be married. The abbreviation Mrs. is for a woman who is married. So, if you are not sure if someone is married or not you would probably use Ms., because it can go either way.
Ms Vivacious

Anonymous said...

See ehn... all these feminists that still keep husbands. i wonder..how they hate men and still get married. now i don't hate women for being feminists, their cause is justifiable in some cases. but not answering your husbands name is the height of it. i would say hyphenating it would have been a better option, but hey, its not me right?. so i,ll chill

Anonymous said...

Ms. is a title used by women regardless of their marital status.
Ms. originated as an alternative to Miss or Mrs. to avoid referring to the marital status of women
Ms. has now become a default for women in business circles and official contexts.

Some Feminist group contention was that the title "Mr." for men did not indicate whether the man was married, unmarried or divorced. They wanted to have a similar convention for women's names.

After due debate, the US Government Printing Office finally approved the usage of this title for official documents in 1972. The advantage of using this word is obvious and becoming default in [:Category:Business|business]] circles both in North America and Britain and preferred by women who are unmarried, married, or divorced.

Anonymous said...

Chimamanda never said it's bcos of job she doesn't want to answer Mrs, but she said answering Mrs somebody it's not our culture but the western culture. So if she wants to do everything the African way, she should not be wearing that dress in that pic, cos that's Western. She should dress like an African and cover her body very well and stop showing those shinning balls.

Unknown said...

It would been a 'big' issue if she did not have her celebrity status as her reason.

ChAndy said...

Your father is a fool!! How dare you cowardly sit then and insult somebody you don't know! I am almost certain your father is a brick layer! You must be very stupid to talk about someone's husband like that! You are an imbecile.

Efosa said...

then shall a man(man and woman) leave his father and mother and cling to his wife and dey shall become one.

Anonymous said...

Igbo man nor go fit marry the kind of Chimamanda. I know Igbo men too well. They will NEVER put up with this kind of thing.

Anonymous said...

@hrm paul ojeih, stop displaying your ignorance. Angelina Jolie is not married to Brad Pitt. Just because it is done it the West does not mean we should do the same.

Adaeze said...

Chimamanda is a beautiful intelligent lady but she sounds COCKY.

Anonymous said...

I do not see any thing wrong in her bearing a hypenated surname, if the reason is because, she has made a "name" for herself already. I also bear a hypneated surname.

But really come to think of it, what is in the name? If you really love your husband and have chosen to share the rest of your life with him, then name shouldn't be a problem.

oyakhilome said...

The only time I will allow my wife to stick with her surname is when I'm ashamed of her or feel she doesn't deserve my surname. Aside that, fuck all of you sexist saying crap about keeping names.

Anonymous said...

Genesis 5:1 This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him; 2 Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.

Notice, that Eve (though she had her own separate name given to her by Adam) was also named Adam. Mr. & Mrs. Adam, you might say.

This is one of the basic principals of biblical law: the wife comes under the authority of her husband, and is called by his name. The name represents authority. We use the surname as a device to recognize whose authority one is under. For a woman to retain her father's surname is to recognize that she is still under her father's authority. When a woman marries, this is not the case, and she must take her husband's name. If she keeps both, then she has two masters (which is impossible).

Anonymous said...

Spirit of Jezebel is working

Anonymous said...

There is nothing wrong with it. I didn't change mine and my husband was ok with it. Only outsiders seemed to mind for him.

Mischievous said...

Whatever!*Yawns*

David Ade Günther said...

There's no argument here please. Did Beyonce Knowles change her name or did Kim Kardashian put West in her name. Let her be!

Anonymous said...

I see this feminist stuff is taking a nasty twist. my thoughts... All humans are equal but when it comes to mrriage the man is the head. if you cant stand that truth..den dont get married. its simple. there are very good men out there that do not abuse women or make the subservient. the only logic i am thinking in support of Ms. Adichie or what ever she wants to be refferd to as , is that she was already famous with her maiden name before she got married. else.. it is not a right example for young girls. You cannot be a feminist and still be a married woman.. u cant have two captains in a ship...one is the helpmeet or copilot!. soon young ladies would start adopting her style...which isn,t traditional...because its her husbands tradition she is subject to now if she wants to tow that path.! Enough Said!

Anonymous said...

@david ade gunther...are you married?.. if yes is your wife bearing her maiden name?...if no then shut the hell up!!!..you do not know wht u say!. why would u use kim k and beyonce as examples when Ms. adichie is pegging her arguemnt from the ibo tradition?...abeg my ibo brothers... how true is that claim/.. ?.

Anonymous said...

and a quick question... did her mother retain her maiden name?. if at all an example should be followed. it should be her mother's

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