Dear LIB readers: She smokes & drinks too much, should I let her go?
From a male LIB reader
Linda please share my dilemma with your readers. I've been dating this lady for the last nine months and I need advise as things are beginning to get out of hand. I am ready to settle down but I don't know if I should make this woman my wife or let her go. I am madly in love with her but she's not what I want in a woman. I don't know how I managed to fall in love with her in the first place. She drinks too much, she smokes too much, she even smokes weed, though she tries to hide it but I've caught her a few times. She gets drunk at least once every other week. She's domesticated and is a good cook and sex with her is of course very great, but whenever she drinks I see a different woman. She's also very foul mouthed and can be very aggressive, especially when she's high from smoking. Whenever she's sober, we have a great time and I start to look at her as the mother of my kids but then she gets drunk again and I see a totally different person. I don't smoke or drink and I have even threatened to end the relationship if she doesn't stop drinking but that hasn't made a difference. Should I propose to her or let her go? Will she ever change? Is there anything I can do to make her a different woman?
Nicca of life, the truth is dat, if u were also a drinker and smoker, u wouldn't have a problem with it, the sex is great, she's a good cook and she probabily has a good character and personality and d ultimate thing, ur in love. Drinking and smoking are just habits nd can be dropped. My advices, help her help herself, because if it were the other way round, it wouldn't even be an issue. No one is perfect, u could do a lot better, and also u could a whole lot worse...... #that girl
Communication is key. Talk with her, get her to tell what she wants in life, if she feels she will stop smoking and drinking one day. Just get into a deep conversation without condemning her and in a way she will feel comfortable to spill. U will get ur answer that way
Umunwoke ndi arurala..wen u were fuckin her left right centre n back u dnt rembr dat she drinks n smokes,now to marry her u don realise say no b wife material.
You can love her into submission and make her change permanently. Its not an easy task but it may be the most interesting adventure you will ever experience.You need to find answers to why she smokes and drinks so much, what other productive things make her happy? does she have a battered ego or low self esteem?
You are lucky that the sober 'her' is what you are attracted to. take your time, study her more, love her more, pray for her more and help her grow....you'l never know. At least she is not pretending.
U reaLly nid 2 ask urself sum questions: 1.If she doesn't change can u cope with her habit. 2.Without the sex and the fact that she cooks well,would u still love her? 3. U no u love her, bt do you no if she truly loves u? Noone cn tell u wat 2 do, bt bear dis in mind. A marraige. Needs more dan real true love 2 make it work. True love is selfless,patient and forbearing. In love u dnt think twice wen u ave 2 forfeit something jst 2 mke d relationship wrk. I hope u mke d right choice.
Why is it a big deal now that the smoker and drinker is a woman. Don't women marry chain smokers and heavy drinkers as husband. If you love her marry her... Simple
You no serious, u don c comentators or pple whe no get work and time abi?na ur dead body bury am if u like... Nesssst plssssssssss with a loud hisssssss mtchHhhew.
I suspect to have an idea of who this dude may be talking abt here, I dated her and had a similar problems and pls dont ask me what I did, coz am sure you already know I MOVED OUT!!! LOL. Dont get me wrong, though I tried very hard to rehab her but of course her foul mouth wont let me, brought abt as a result of her drukeness resulted in loads times when I had to assault her and finally, to prevent me comiting murder, one day I quietly brought a van and moved out my stuffs AND LEFT HER. SHE EVEN HAS A FRIEND SHE REFERS TO ALL THE TIME NAMED DAVE.
If you truly love her then get her some help. She may be an alcoholic or have some repressed problems she cannot handle and takes solace in drugs and booze and has now formed a dependency that is out of control.My humble opinion is that you should not leave her for this reason but lovingly stand by her ,get professional assistance.
221 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 221 of 221please leave her.
Nicca of life, the truth is dat, if u were also a drinker and smoker, u wouldn't have a problem with it, the sex is great, she's a good cook and she probabily has a good character and personality and d ultimate thing, ur in love. Drinking and smoking are just habits nd can be dropped. My advices, help her help herself, because if it were the other way round, it wouldn't even be an issue. No one is perfect, u could do a lot better, and also u could a whole lot worse...... #that girl
Communication is key. Talk with her, get her to tell what she wants in life, if she feels she will stop smoking and drinking one day. Just get into a deep conversation without condemning her and in a way she will feel comfortable to spill. U will get ur answer that way
U are fully on your own when the war starts!
Umunwoke ndi arurala..wen u were fuckin her left right centre n back u dnt rembr dat she drinks n smokes,now to marry her u don realise say no b wife material.
@erosion,so in ur mind's eye u have contributed 2 dis discussion?My friend,go join queue 4 shalanga
I agree it'll make d relationship better but only till they're both broke n jobless
You can love her into submission and make her change permanently. Its not an easy task but it may be the most interesting adventure you will ever experience.You need to find answers to why she smokes and drinks so much, what other productive things make her happy? does she have a battered ego or low self esteem?
You are lucky that the sober 'her' is what you are attracted to. take your time, study her more, love her more, pray for her more and help her grow....you'l never know. At least she is not pretending.
U reaLly nid 2 ask urself sum questions:
1.If she doesn't change can u cope with her habit.
2.Without the sex and the fact that she cooks well,would u still love her?
3. U no u love her, bt do you no if she truly loves u?
Noone cn tell u wat 2 do, bt bear dis in mind. A marraige. Needs more dan real true love 2 make it work. True love is selfless,patient and forbearing. In love u dnt think twice wen u ave 2 forfeit something jst 2 mke d relationship wrk. I hope u mke d right choice.
Prayer in this case may be difficult 'cos sex is already involved. I like ur view anyway
Why is it a big deal now that the smoker and drinker is a woman. Don't women marry chain smokers and heavy drinkers as husband. If you love her marry her... Simple
free her
free her
free her
You no serious, u don c comentators or pple whe no get work and time abi?na ur dead body bury am if u like... Nesssst plssssssssss with a loud hisssssss mtchHhhew.
send her to a psychiatric hospital for a proper rehabilitation process if u lover her that much.
send her out for rehabilitation if you love her that much.
I suspect to have an idea of who this dude may be talking abt here, I dated her and had a similar problems and pls dont ask me what I did, coz am sure you already know I MOVED OUT!!! LOL. Dont get me wrong, though I tried very hard to rehab her but of course her foul mouth wont let me, brought abt as a result of her drukeness resulted in loads times when I had to assault her and finally, to prevent me comiting murder, one day I quietly brought a van and moved out my stuffs AND LEFT HER. SHE EVEN HAS A FRIEND SHE REFERS TO ALL THE TIME NAMED DAVE.
This is what happens when men are p***y whipped. Once had a girl like that but dropped her like some hot rod! Too focused to be pulled down.
It's your choice bro, holla at me if you want a better chic..domesticated with mad s*x, everything you need bro!
If you truly love her then get her some help. She may be an alcoholic or have some repressed problems she cannot handle and takes solace in drugs and booze and has now formed a dependency that is out of control.My humble opinion is that you should not leave her for this reason but lovingly stand by her ,get professional assistance.
You marry her...she burn u nd da kids down. Done
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