Dear LIB readers: I love my fiance but I hate his family
From a female LIB reader
I am engaged to a really nice man but I'm thinking of calling off the engagement because I hate his family. He's from one of the prominent rich families in Lagos and they are of the worst breed. They are controlling, they don't mind their business, they tell their children what to do, they make their decisions for them and their matriarch is the opinion of the family. Nobody dares question her decisions or argues with her. My fiance's sister told me I have to quit my job after I marry into their family. My future mother-in-law has summoned my father to her home on several occasions, asking him the most belittling questions. She even had their family doctor examine me, and the doctor asked me how many men I've been with in the past and if I've ever had an abortion. Duh! They question every thing you do, even the clothes you wear. I'm not yet married into this family and I'm already having panic attacks. I really love this guy but I don't think I can deal with his family. They plan to completely clip my wings once I marry their son and I don't think that's the life I want. Should I walk away or is there a way to handle such a family if I go ahead with the wedding? Please help me.
Pls run as fast as u can. Ur own is even better that he is from a rich home n you have not taken in. Mine is not even from a rich home yet I luvd him because I believe since we knew each other from way back, life will be easier. As I speak, I have a baby for him but ive walk out. It will never work. Besides its better that his family is good and he is d one bad. My sister use my example learn lesson. It never gets better
Lol are you getting married to him or his family? Trust me, you won't regret it. Just don't call any wedding off since he's rich and might bolster your happiness through his money.
That's why it's good to marry your equals, rich people for rich people, poor people for poor people. I'm glad my gf's parents are stinking rich as well as I am. No need to argue about anything if you both can afford it!
Kai sweetheart, big man big wahala o! No matter how much you love him or he loves you, with that kind of money he will alwyas try to pander t his mother's expectations to avoid being cut out. It is a losing battle. You will NEVER be one of them. Quit while you are ahead. Your children will be put thru paternity tests! I see that coming!
Hey Girl, Damn the riches... Do what makes u happy.. leave if u have to ... Ur life is what matters here.. are u going to be happy for the rest of ur life with them???
Ask your man for re-assurances in the areas you are complaining about, if he can prevent his family from having too much hold on him, you or your union with him, after all you are marrying him and not his family.
STAY JARE my darling after all is no big deal trying one man' home before u go to another.... Keep waiting for LIB readers to give u advise to stay u hear Mtsheww.... I live u with this Yoruba saying "Oko Buruku se fe sugbon Ano Buruku??????
Why not try and complain to ur hubby to be??? If he can't handle tins his own way,then u gonna have a real p wen u guyz get married...it means he's not man enough to take care of his haux...anywys,try and talk to him ova it and if there isn't sign of improvement then u sure gonna hav a big p wen u guyz get married
RUN!!!! dont walk away, what thats outrageous examining you, quit ur job, summoning ur father. there s no way to escape this except u both relocate out of their city or country
reasons, you do not marry just the man but his family, most times when you go contrary to their rules, regulations and opinion, you are tagged the bad sheep.
love is never enough in a marriage. Understanding is the major word.
Once you do not buy into their lifestyle nor understand and accept their norms, I see no point getting into that family. whether you love he guy silly or not.
once you begin to disagree with them, you start having problems upon problems with your fiancé and then the love goes sour...and then what next???
I guess you should talk to your fiance,he's the only one that can help you out here. if he's not man enough to stand his ground and stop those ill treatments meted at you,then he's not yet ready.
The first question is does your husband-to-be have the balls to stand up for you and protect you? If he gives answers like "oh, you're just overreacting." Or "That's just how they are now." or "Oh. My mum is harmless." despite you adamantly voicing your concerns, then you are in for an absolutely miserable time! No amount of money (new or old money) should make you settle for a life of unhappiness. At least if your husband is able to soften the blow, it would at least have been bearable but you haven't mentioned that. So ask yourself can I deal with this for the rest of our lives??? What happens when the kids come, of course good ol' grandma will be overbearing. If you envision a life of misery, run for your life!
In Yoruba land they say you don't get distracted by the market noise but you focus on who you are trading with. Focus on ur fiance every other thing is noise
There's no way o my dear, its better u run for ur dear life if u know can't handle their ways cos if u use ojukokoro to marry d guy, you are on ur own babez
My sister u better bounce! Cos u'll av d worst nightmare of ur life if u get married 2 him. As dey say "u dnt only marry d man but his family also" but if u really luv him n u feel u can cope well den go ahead. Or rather complain 2 ur husband 2 be and let him make his mum and relatives knw dey shouldn't pry into ur affairs. U both are adults and knw ur left from right.
to me its funny coz wen u marry him ur life would be controlled by them-after marriage dats wen u will know waz up coz i cant advice u to leave him but u ve to tink well if datz d life u want
My sister, don't ever overlook d prospect of ur own success by attaching urself to a good-for-nothing, god-forsaking family just becos dey av small kobo in dia pocket. Should any of ur family be successful in life, dey will always claim responsibility for any success in ur family. Imagine dem insulting ur father by calling and asking various useless question. Being poor is not being hopeless. If u r not greedy o, take a walk; dia r hardworking, successful and humble guys out dia.
If u think dat u can't cope, kindly walk away. But if u see marriage as a 'for-better, for-worse' business and u love him, u can choose to stay. Shikenah
I won't advise u to stay or hold on cos its obvious ur fiance wil always dance to him moms tune...dats wot u get frm all dis domineering mother in laws.its a battle dats very difficult to fight unless u fiance isn't tied to his moms apron.Note:a broken engagement is better dan a broken Home!
One word " SCRAM". You wont be living at all. You will never have a home of your own because it seems your man is not man enough to stop his family's BS even before you say "I Do" so when you do they will bring out all the claws.
My dear don't go on with that wedding ooh, u don't even need anyone to tell u what to do coomon with that kind of family u will die young am telling,because there's no way that man will want to leave his family for u so don't go on with the wedding tell him that u don't want to die young. How can u stop working when u marry there brother, they want u to be begging for everything u need or what? Pls pls and pls don't go on with that wedding. U can kill yourself because of love it's hard i know but u just have to call it off. Think
how much does he love you is what matters in this case ,if your man loves you ,then dont bother yourself with his family ,after all you aren;t gonna live with them
If u think dat u can't cope, kindly walk away. But if u see marriage as a 'for-better, for-worse' business and u love him, u can choose to stay. Shikenah
Please sister walk away for your own sake if not you will become a slave in that house.The man will not even b able 2 handle dem wen d heat begins.Yes you love him buh duh ur happiness o.U cnt go in2 a family dat wud send u 2 ur early grave pls fleeeeeeeeeeee
Please check if your future husband have his own mind... Is he man enough to do things outside his "parent"???... if yes you can proceed... otherwise... dust your shoes and move.... remember to also pray to God about it.... good luck
In yoruba land, there's an adage dt says, a bad husband is easier to cope with than terrible inlaws. my dear, ur so on ur own. i dont kno ow that marriage can survive with such kind of inlaws. u gota really tink it through if u can really cope. wish u all d best.
i think u ve 2 talk 2 ur fiance 1st b4 making any decision cos both of u has right 2 what u decide on. See what he think if he does not like his family interfarance u can always live far away frm dem
my dear, there's more to marriage than just love; if you cant cope now that u are single wat makes u think u can wen u're legally married to him? am not asking u to call it quit but my dear use ur head and weight ur options, the ball is in ur cot so u will know hw to play it better
Only you can answer this question, you are already getting panic attacks at this stage and its not official. Everyone deserves to be happy even folks from less privileged background. Be true to yourself.
M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣̥ dear, d writings are on d wall. Dis kind of relationship ȋ̝̊̅§ nt sumfn ♈̷̴̩oυ will enjoy. Explain to U̶̲̥̅̊я̲̅ guy nd if afterwards no corrections, just quit. Broken relationship ȋ̝̊̅§ better than a broken marriage cos as ♈̷̴̩oυ said it, no peace 4 ♈̷̴̩oυ wen ♈̷̴̩oυ marry dis guy
walk away swthreart, coz in all these i do not hear u saying anything abt ur man standing up for u or putting his foot down. u do not want to be stuck with a man thats still breast feeding.
almost all families want to hv control over their kids life, its left for the kids to draw dat line.
money is not every thing my dear, would you rather be rich without the freedom to enjoy wealth or have a promising future with the freedom to live without feeling like a prisoner? pls choose wisely you've got one life to live..sometimes the short cut to wealth might not be the best at the end
Plz my beautiful sister, i will advice you not to dear it at all if what you type on Linda Blog is truly real, because if u marry that guy u have totally marry the family.
You are too small to start with these big experience. take my advice or you ignore it.
My dear, marrying a good man from a bad or controlling family is asking for trouble. I know this because I am speaking from experience. They either take u out if u dnt comply or make Sure their son leaves u. Its even worse when the family r diabolic, truSt me it isn't cute. Bt I ll suggest u pray about it. Goodluck on ur decision
dear, what makes u think u can cope as his wife when u find it hard adapting now? i wont ask u call it off but u need to weight ur options very well, for how long how are u gonna live in the cage of ur husband's family, better be a single happy lady instead of a married melancholic woman
i really think you should let ur fiancee understand your fears, if he can't do anytin about it then u have to quit or continue if you can stand the shit wen u guys get married. a word is enough for the wise. Phil says so.....
Since nobody dares question her authority, I suggest you talk to your guy if he can do something to make them leave you to-be family outta their command zone, if there's nothing he can do. Baby girl RUN away from him and his family. Nothing like freedom, you're not a slave that they buy to control. You have right even as a wife and nobody can deprive you of that and you also need to be free to make your own decision, not someone making it for you and your family. So I suggest if there's nothing your guy can do about it, RUNning away from them is the only option *ThatFunctionGuy*
This is simple. Just endure and marry the guy and then when you do, convince him to move abroad shikena. Go and read about Samson and Delilah then you go know say woman get power.
You hubby needs to set his elite family straight. He is the one letting them treat you like this. If he stands up to them, they'll stew inside but no one will have the audacity to say or treat you like you haven't come from a decent family as well. If he can't do that for you then you need to consider if you can't live with their interference forever or count your losses and move on to someone from a nicer but maybe not so elite family.
no my dear u dot have to cut off d engagement cos of d family, wht matters is did d guy in question love u d way u do if yes den go ahead ad marry d man u love, just be patient wit d family, plan wit d guy so dat after d wedding u both will live d house for dem. dat is my advice
I dunno if I'm first to comment but let me BE VERY sincere with u dear.. It will be hard ohhh but u have to walk away. It is better to have a broken engagement than a broken marriage. Since you are already sensing fire my dear better RUN.. In africa when u marry a man u marry his family.. Except this guy is very unafrican and intends and is planning on breaking away I think you should leave..I knw you might feel sorry for him and love him, but u obviously can't put up with his family so u should leave.. Save him and urself future heart aches
This is the most redicluos story I have ever read. Ask urself if u can condule the attitude before u say I do. Ur supposed husband has no say if not he won't let u pass through that. Run for ur dear life.
You talk like someone who already has the plan to play outside your matrimonial home once married. You dey find where you go dey keep late night partying and attending all red carpets? Wetin dey hungry you no dey market yet.
If your intention into that family is genuine then don't be panic. Abi no be love you get? WOMEN can never be pleased. If you poor an wahala,if you rich na gbege,if you popular na kasala,if you no popular dey go dey faint for celebrities.
My definition for women is Women want everything and nothing.
2. Does he let his family control him? ---I'm guessing yes if he let you be subject to their silly medical examination etc
3. Does he have an independent source of income or is he dependent on his family's wealth?
4. Have you discussed your concerns with him ? what is his view
Forget the fact that the family is wealthy..that's a red herring, a meddling family , rich or poor will always be a source of misery.
It takes a strong and supportive husband to cut out the BS . If your fiance is dependent on his family and not willing to fight your corner then forget it. Walk away
Dearie, Since the man is not man enough to know when to speak up @ dis point,he's not good enough.He should be able to set boundaries where his family dosen't cross,if he cant do it now,there's no way he'd do it in the future.You're not marrying the family,you're marrying the man.THE BIBLE SAYS: THE MAN AND WOMAN WILL LEAVE THEIR PARENTS AND CLEAVE TO THEIR SPOUSE.
Switheart pls run for ur dear life a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.from all indications his family is going to make life a living hell for you after you marry their son,money is not everything quit the relationship now.to be fore warned is to be fore harmed.CHI
Please i will advice you not to dear it at all, because if you eventually marry that guy you have marry the own family.
and by the way, if what you typed on Linda Blogs is truly real i will say don't marry the man, because i have same experience and I'm pleading for you not to marry that guy.
My own experience was a daughter of state director NYSC, the same story you typed on Linda Blog happened to me.
so take my advice or you leave it. here my email: olushola000@gmail.com if you want to here more about my experience.
Cool cool, exactly d same situation I was in some years ago...so in love wt d guy but knew I cldnt cope wt d family....so rich n loud. In my case dey were nt pressurin me yet cos it ws stl bf/gf bt I knew dis is wat dey wld do...na wetin dem dey do to d odas wey don reach to marry enter d family. Babes it ur choice, depending on ur background...if u can cope...if ur hubby is d type dt wl prefer u to his family n b protective, if he also is nt happy wt wat dey r doin n thinks it is wrong...if u r strong enof to endure cos d 'battle' may take years n years on end. .den go ahead. If u r frm a very conservative background like mine...neva saw my parents argue or fight, dont knw aw to use abusive words..(d first time I called someone a fool my friends were so concerned abt me)...I dont knw aw to even live or enjoy a loud n lousy lifestyle...I cant deal wt d idea of acquirin n acquiring witout giving out or helping d needy...cant even spend so much on anytin dt isnt an investment...den please LEAVE...d frustratn wl b too much...I took my time to outline dos things just incase u can relate wt dem. Its ur choice once again, be very truthful n sincere wt urself...if u can't cope dont send urself to early grave....most of such families also lack morals n values...before u even do one thing, dey r talkn abt second wife or divorce....just make up ur mind. I am now wt someone who really loves me n has already made his family see me as his priority...even his dad respects me..n dey r nt poor either. We r gettn married in few weeks time. My ex is also married now...he got married last month...I tink d girl is a good match for him..she was already being a stooge for his mum even during d relationship (we stl talk n he tells me lots of things), she already playing by d rules n she too na frm jaiye jaiye family (op u knw wat dis means)...I wish dem well. Babes, pray n make up ur mind fast... My lengthy two cents...lol
You talk like someone who already has the plan to play outside your matrimonial home once married. You dey find where you go dey keep late night partying and attending all red carpets? Wetin dey hungry you no dey market yet.
If your intention into that family is genuine then don't be panic. Abi no be love you get? WOMEN can never be pleased. If you poor an wahala,if you rich na gbege,if you popular na kasala,if you no popular dey go dey faint for celebrities.
My definition for women is Women want everything and nothing.
I will advice u 2 kindly run for your dear life..Same thing happened 2 me sme yrs bk I went tru hell all in d name of carrying engagement ring abt at the end of d day I had 2 walk out of the relationship cos d mum and family no gree me rest, I was even preg but I lost d baby due 2 2much fnkn I had an accident a bike hit me! My dear, don't go 4 luv, follow ur heart *Yoruba proverb says #oko buruku se fe,ana burukwu o se ni# its really true 2 lyf...pls think twice!
You're not yet married to him and they treat you like this! So you can imagine how they will treat you once you are "legally theirs". You'd pretty much be a slave!
Talk 2him, he's gt 2und tht if ud go further wt d engagement and marriage, uv gt 2mk some decisions too. Its tough sha wen its tht way bt b careful and don't b too quick 2conclude! ~D great anonymous!
Sweetie, if marrying this lad wnt give you joy,pls no 50/50, no life-line, no ask a friend.. just walk away. You man shld have a mind of hs own aswell ey! You marry now, u start to ask fr divorce later.. you choose? regardless, take your time.. think about it... its your call..
Liberty is everything. Your fiance is also under the same influence. The choice is yours now. It'll be worse than you imagined when you finally get in, much more,they will rub it into your immediate family. Summoning your father for what? what was your fiance's opinion to this? Obviously he is not yet a man. The hand that rocked his craddle still rocks and will always rock his life including you.
The choice is yours. Be ready to dance to their tune, if your sweetheart is worth it or face the consequences of daring a 'Matrirach' & her daughter(s), no be ewa agonyi oh.
this is what happens..u see warning signs and something tells u to quit, and then people go ahead and marry and then the marriage never lasts... if this is what is happening while you're engaged, it means when u get married it'd be worse..did u not notice these while u were dating, tell him to learn to be a man and take control...he is very nice but once he allows his family to do these to u, it means he clearly lacks the qualities to control and be a man..you are getting married to him and NOT his family, mother nor sister...
I understand you really love this guy buh life is not all about love but also liberty and rem be sure of your decision before you make the bigest mistake of your life
Asking d family doc to check u wif dose silly qtns is pretty extreme n I didn't read anywhere ur man stood up 4 u,if u cnt cope nw wen its lyk dis marriage won't make it beta bt worse.pls move b4 u loose ur head bcos of marriage since even him cnt qtn his mom
I understand you really love this guy buh life is not all about love but also liberty and rem be sure of your decision before you make the bigest mistake of your life
1st of all ur fiance is an olodo for never speaking up for u and u and ode for not realising that. Can't u open ur mouth and tell him how disgrunted u feel n how he watches them humiliate u? No man who truly loves u can stand a minute of that.excpt ur a desperado not to speak up!
If you can't deal with it, please take a walk. And remember, here in Africa, you just don't marry a guy, you marry into the guy's family. There's nothing wrong with that, truth is, there are some people you just can't cope with chiefly because of their attitude; if you force it, you"l compound problems.
My Sister, The Matriarch you described fit the character of Victoria Grayson in the series REVENGE. Please leave them alone before it is too late. Except your fiance is the stubborn type that will not give in to their manipulation.
I would like ask if ur fiance is aware,if he's aware wat has he been saying? And if he can't tlk to his family ,I wld advise u walk away cos isn't the man ure marrying is his familyand if they re bhaving lik this, thers no assurance u ll enjoy ur marriage
Use your tongue to count your teeth and take the right decision for YOU. There are more to come. This is only courtship o, when you marry, you've become their property. If your fiance has allowed you to go through THIS now, expect more, he is not in charge at all. My 2 cents.
love indeed, if the guy was a broke ass or a regular guy, u would have hit the road, now cos of the money ur confused, ask ur self this qiz, this guy without the money would u still love him
It all depends on your fiance. I'll advise you to "bounce" if your fiance is of the mama's boy mold. Please people don't beg this blogger to post your comments because this blogger needs u more than u need her..makes me sick reading them.
my dear,its one thing for u and ur family to be subjected to such,but its another for ur finacee to sit back and allow it happen.if he cannot stand up to them now,dont expect any change after u get married.read my lips,NOTHING will change after you tie the knot,rather it can only get worse....run while you can,and pray for divine guidance...
Buhahahahaha.....no1....if u have balls and game marry him....no2 if not?break up...no1:1 talk 2 ur man and live far away frm dem...deal wit dealables and ve ur children and focus on dem,dnt ans stupid questions,infact allow dem reject u and let ur boo fight ur fight ifhe cnt?look @ it dis way dear!if ur modainlaw cnt giv u peace its. Bcoz she got peace in her husbands house!Barn both ur folks and his folks frm coming 2 ur house 4 peace2reign.love and pray 4 ur home.seek peace no b 2 turn 2 mumu.2:2 if u cnt do al these!find another story.
Now thats a very tight angle to be in... The options are quite clear, as are the implications, and neither is easy. If you think you can put up with all those things for the rest of your life, then proceed. but don't make the mistake of thinking you can alienate his family from your marriage. THIS IS AFRICA where you don't just marry the man/woman, you also indirectly marry the family-with all their problems or prospects. If deep down you know you are fed up, and there is no prospect of change, Lady, quit. I think what you really need now is courage, to take a stand.
Don't just walk away..Run away......ur fiance should be entitled to his decisions regarding his relationship,I am not saying he should not listen to his family but the degree of his family involvement in the relationship is alarming,if he can't stand up and speak out to this family about what he wants for himself then they is no point my dear....RUN AWAY!
Talk tyns out with ur man,am sure he wld av noticed what his family pple are doing to U.If he isn't gonna agree wit ur views as regards relocation.,its better u move on cos if u marry him and aint free from dere pressure,u guys wld eventually divorce.
What are they feeling like?my dear don't go to that family,his mum don't even have respect for ur dad asking him to come to her house?... Nooo that can happen to my presous dad ooo, they r d one that supos to come n see ur dad not ur dad going there. Haba
I hope the wealth difference is not huge across both families cos if it is,then your predicament can only get worse after marriage.meanwhile,there is no guarantee,the next guy will have a better family. Ultimately,its the guy you are marrying that matters.if he still has some balls ,then he can defend you when it gets too bad. if you truly love him and he loves you too,then go ahead,the matriach won't be alive forever.
If ur fiance could allow this from his family at this stage, my dear expect more. So d best thg is 2 walk away if u are not ready to leave with it. Continue praying and God shall do urs for u
If you are a smart girl then you should be able to read the handwriting on the wall, its time to take a walk cos like they say a broken relationship is always better than a broken marriage. If you have to go through all this when you finally marry the guy then you'll be scarred for life. A word is enough for the wise. PS; Money can't buy happiness and peace of mind.
My thoughts exactly! Sometimes love ain't enough. If really his mum calls the shots do you really think it will be that easy to yank him off his mum and both of you ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after like some low budget romance movie? I wasn't impressed that your father was summoned and interrogated as though he were applying for a job! Gossh! You guys aren't married yet. Trust me, this love with fly away when the harsh realities of life hit you. How can they dictate whether or not you work after marriage?! Pls I hope deep down you don't feel worthy enough to have him because you give a rather disturbing vibe. It's the man and his family who ought to do all they can to impress you and not the other way around. Honey pls think twice because from where I stand, I see an impending train wreck.
Darling,if yo man can't get his family to respect and love you I think u shld call it quits..U marry a man,u marry his family...if it doesn't end now it won't end in the nearest future....rich ppl with wretched mentality.imagine them asking their family doctor to examine u....like serzly?.such men are hard to fine,yes bt don't forget dey can turn him against u.let him set things straight or u walk away!
pray about it first, then talk to the guy because you may be able to let him finally stand up for himself even if you guys don't work out at least you would have helped him know he is a man and he has to start making his OWN decisions. But if the guy isn't ready to man up, then dear he aint gon be ready to protect you YET from his overly opinionated family if you marry him.
That family you hate gave birth to your fiance.. if you love him so much you should appreciate his family. me nor fit marry person wey hate my family, NEVER
The best thing to do is to talk to your fiance and tell him if he wants to get marry to you he should better warn that his family to respect themselves. Ahhha what kind of family is that!
I don't know if my comment will reach you or you will be able to read it. However, I thought I should add little to the already posted comments. First of all, it is the nice guy you are marrying and not the family even if we believe in our own part of the world that a woman marries the entire family of a man. Apart from that, running away from the guy at this point is not the answer or solution to what you are seeking.
It is humiliating and belittling for the guy's family to treat you and your father the way they are treating you. I think I will fault your father in the first place for honouring the invitation of the guy's mother. It does not mean that because they are prominent, rich or whatever that no one can show his or her integrity to them. It is them who want you as a wife and not you who want the guy as a husband so your father shouldn't have been summoned to their house in the first place. What I will suggest is, you should make a complete stand with the guy before you jump into this kind of lifetime relationship. Make them know your conditions. If you do not want to quit your job after marriage then make it known to him before entering into marriage. Stand your ground on your mother-in-law's position. Make it known that you are also entitled to your right and way as a wife and not to be maltreated by her. Do not throw away your dignity and integrity because of his sister's, mother or any one from his family....although they deserve their respect but not in a way that will wipe away your reputation and humanity.
This is my little advice to u, i guess u ve to think very well b4 u step in finally. its not a good experience having that kind of challenges. Your finacy might promise u heaven and heart just to please u but trust me as soon as u into their family, he will change back to what his family wants him to be. i ve witnessed that b4 and is still happening to alot of people out there. Mind u, freedom is essential,mandatory,obligatory. please dont toy with it..a word is enought for a whise.....Linda post my comment o because u have not be doing that, any attempt not to post it, i will not visit your site anymore.
If you don't want 2 end up being a victim of frustration, u better take ur leave now. Who knows if the man has the same trait but still hiding it all because u have not said i do.
RUN RUN RUN! I almost married into a similar family but thank God that didn't happen. Your life will be a living hell. Love him from a distance and RUN!
Bitter truth is 'Just walk away'. But before u take that decision, find out from wives of the other sons or husbands of their daughters. just try and get close to them, let them confide in u and tell u how it has been with them. if its d way u re sayin now, just walk away else they re goin 2 make ur life miserable.. funny enough, there still mite b some other 'secrets' lurking somewhere in d family waiting 2 b revealed when u ve tied the knots... However, Just put it all in prayer and let God direct u. Yorubas say 'U can still tolerate a bad wife, but a bad inlaw is worse' cos who would u report her to wen she misbehaves? but if she (ur wife) is bad, and the inlaws re gud, there are chances she could change if being talked to. However, same goes to husbands too.
My dear d choice is yours,but once u r in,u r married 2 d family and they will control ur life. So weigh d 2 options and make a decision.its ur life.(Living in bondage)
My dear its better you run away now, because u will end up divorcing the man after marriage, it would be nice u leave their son if you dnt want to be an house maid.
My dear run for ur life. Ʊ bout to walk into ur death zone.godforbid.I knw thr type. Especially wen Ʊr family is not same level finacially. Nd if ur man cannot stand up to them its worse. This is d tip of d iceberg wen Ʊ married d game changes. Ʊ become a slave in ur home.pls dear marriage is not all about luv. Walk away aSap
Hi dear. Your fiance is the deciding factor here. If he is a rebel and does not conform to the rules in his family then u r safe. It means his type would never be forced to do anyting. But! If he's the permissive type and well under the control of his family, then u need to walk away and fast! His kind will never stand up for u when he needs to. Look marriage has enuf of it's own issues as it is, if u can alredy sight the issues from ur inlaws, then its a sign u shud not ignore. No marriage is perfect but never be accused of walking into a lifetime of heartache with ur eyes wide open. On the other hand, this marriage might just be perfect for u if you plan to be a docile wife for the rest of ur married life. But from the tone of ur message, I don't think so! All the best!
My dear, my people say "omo buruku se fe, ano buruku o se ni". In other words, if u marry a bad man, u could still have people to talk to him about his ways but if u have horrible in-laws, you are in hell. Pls sit down and discuss with your man, stating clearly your stand. If he is easily swayed by his family, especially his mother, u need to run faster than your legs can even carry u. You are not 80, u'll find someone else. Good luck.
My dear, RUN!!!!!!!! Run 4 ur lyf! Cos @ d end of d day, love wldnt b enof 2 right d wrongs nd cure d wounds. If he's family aint good, den he's nt 4 u. In mrrg ova here, u mrry d fam nt d dude.
Take a walk for life dear,or go ahead wf d marriage nd b dat woman dat knws no happiness for d rest of her lyf.don't be deceived that evryfin s gonna be fyn once yu married,it ll evn get worse. i know of a family like that, en trust mi ur fiance is helpless,dr s just nuffin he can do...*take d hint*
They had their doctor examine you??? And they called your fathe to ask him what?? If you value your family and I think you do , you will let him go. Aaagh this is ridiculous. Trust me ytou'll have to put up with all this shit for life. Forewarned is forearmed. Your fiance should have a voice . If he doesn't what makes you think he'll change . Money or not he should be his own man! You're wasting your time .
But seriously. To start with I think ur father shouldn't have gone to their house in the first place. Cos for Christ sakes. They r d One who wants to marry u, so if dere should be any seeing to be done, it is dt dier mother dt should go see ur father in his house(in respective of our it looks, talk less she asking him ridiculous questions). D fact dt Ɣ☺ΰ r marrying into a rich home does not give anybody the right to treat u lesser dn u are. The moment u stand on ur feet nd don't allow them to boss u around, dey will see Ɣ☺ΰ don't care about their goddam money(that if u don't really care). Nd with dt happening I guess ur man will be able to make the right decisions.
Sweetheart i think what u ought 2 do 1st is get on your knees and ask God if he's ur husband and if u get an affirmation, then ask 4 wisdom to handle Z family. Simple!
Hi dear. First of all, have a sit down with your man. If he as a man cannot draw the line and take his nuclear family as a priority, sweetheart it ain't worth it marrying him. So talk to him about your concerns. Also let him know that if he will let his family run his home, he'll have to choose between you and his family. I want to guess his family is not really happy with his choice, that's why they are so difficult. Count the cost dear, if you'll be ok with their interference,conditions and rules no problem then go ahead and have a fairytale wedding.
Let him know ur fears,buh if he says family is family,my dear,just go,n pray too...cos you should be in a family whre u r loveD,my inlaws calls me every now n then,and we live far away from them,n they have no right to tell my husband what to do,even though his father is King...all ds lagos dynasty sef...ndi ala
I will advice u 2 challenge his mother but b4 den u ve 2 make up ur mind on wot d out come will b cos it might result 2 his mother asking her son 2 leave u or d guy dumping u,so prepare ur mind and challenge her.hw much does she ve or is she dangote's wife? Even if na dangote's wife God pass am, I hate intimidation wit a passion
Ȋ̝̊̅t̶̲̥̅̊ happened †Φ ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥, but right now that we Ǎ̜̣̍я̲̅ε̲̣̣̣̥ married, A̶̲̥̅̊Ώ̶̲̣̣̥d̶̲̥̅̊ we later got our own house, nobody is disturbing ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥, there's peace in Ʈђε̲̣̣̣̥ family, not as expected. Though my husband really tried his best. Everythg lies in ur fiance's hands.Linda pls publish M̶̲̥̅̊y̶̲̥̅̊ comment, ℓ̊ beg u in Ʈђε̲̣̣̣̥ name of God. A̶̲̥̅♏ in luv with ur blog, but decided †Φ comment today.
Babe, I am so sure u r not from a rich family..u myt come from an average family dou buh lemme tell u somfin, assume dat u r from a rich fam' like deres even dat stupid sis in law will wanna chill by ursyd...gbabe!!! No p, rich kids do live by dere fam' rules...just run into my hands, am selfmade millionaire...humble and will make u happy, chill buh u must be fine at least..tall, educated n God fearing...u don't need to very pweety or wear a brazilian hair. Aii! Lol.in all, my advice for u is to move on b4 u see Gobe!
I wld advice u sincerely to walk away especially if your fiance is a mummy's boy! I did, and three yrs later God compensated me with the best man in the world! No time to waste,and if u are struggling now,when u become legally married you go turn to mad woman oh!
My first question is that what in ur fiancée's take on this? if he is also used to this way of life.. babe take a walk cos apparently he is a so called mama's boy but if he is ready to stand up for u then u can take the shot with him. Always remember that u cannot marry the man alone, u are also signing to marry his family.... So be prayerful and also look before u leap so that u don't fall into a pit.
If this story is true, my advice is for you to run for your dear life because things will not change even after your marriage. Resisting their interference and control after marriage will only give you endless misery.
Theres no need telling her to talk to her fiancé cos am sure she knows the exact outcome. U alrdy no wat to do babe but u considering the comfort u will get from this thing u calling marriage. Do the right thing cos I no u no wat the so called right thing is....goodluck!
Are any of his brothers married? How is the relationship between the wife and the mum? I think you have already shown them you are willing to dance to their tune by going for the check up and allowing your daddy to be belittled. I don't think you can't stand up to her. Who is she sef? You just need to talk to your husband-to-be about your concerns and if he feels the same way then you both need to put your foot down and say no to her demands. Nonsense. As if that's how someone controlled her own marriage.
Theres no need telling her to talk to her fiancé cos am sure she knows the exact outcome. U alrdy no wat to do babe but u considering the comfort u will get from this thing u calling marriage. Do the right thing cos I no u no wat the so called right thing is....goodluck!
My dear, now u still have your head on your body back off. why??? i met a lady year back she was married to a member of one of the wealthest family in nigeria as at today everyone know this family sorry don't want to mention names. according to this lady she met the guy abroad got married they had one kid. Behold his family started asking him to come home and remarry another lady they will chose for him, before then they told the lady to bring her child home so they can train her in their own way but she refuse, so the pressure to remarry was really on the guy to the extend his account was freezy (both abroad and in nijia), to tell you the extent of family influence, the guy couldn't take it any more he has to come home remarry and left the wife and kid abroad to survive on their own. Thank God, the lady was educate and she treaty to take them to the highest court, they had to let her go with her child. as a single mother. According to her she went through hell raising her child alone because it was not part of her plan in life.dear poster you are not only marrying the guy but also the family wheather you like it or not. Less i forget she told me her mother-in-law controlled all her children. SHINE YOUR OKPOLO EYE AND THINK WITH UR HEAD IF YOU REALLY WANT THIS. when you have peace of mind, you have love.
one thing about marriage is that u dnt only marry the man, u marry the family also. So if u cannot cope with his family, you have to discuss with him and take a final decision. Marriage is to be enjoyed and not to be endured. The ball is in your court dear!
the first thing you want to look out for is how your man treats his mum...if he is the very close type to her who is afraid to tell her the truth or any other member of his family, then i think you have a problem there...but if he is not afraid to confront his mum but is close as a son shuld be to a mum, then you should give him a chance by first talking with him on the matter...and if this matter is one you are afraid to talk to him about, then in my humble opinion i'll say quit sharp sharp.
Believe me no matter how nice ur guy is,ur entire life wil be miserable d moment u marry him.dats wen u realise d kind of power parents have over their children.a bad mother inlaw is an enough reason for to run for ur life.its not worth it becos at d end u wil stil be alone an lonely in ur husband house,so run now dat u can.speaking from experiece am just 26yrs an I've been a lot in my marraige,some mother inlaws ar devils representatives on earth.RUN for ur LIFE.
RUN!!!!but wait...u marrying a nice man or a nice boy? cuz parents dnt even do this to their teenage son's girlfriend hw much more, wha?. don't settle jus cuz 'men are rare', cuz u know wht? so will ur opinion ;)...in the near future! and about talking to ur fiancé, duhlin if he's already watching u arm-crossed while u get patronized by his ppl. the talk might be a long shot (worth trying still) gluck
Nne, lemme tell you the truth. Your man does not see anything wrong with these family traditions, and you can never blend, I hate to advice people to let go of love when it is so hard to come across sweet love, but letting go is just a good option,because if the guy talks to his family and they accept to let you be, I bet they wont totally let you enjoy your marriage!
Pls dear, y shl ur fada go 4 such call fm a woman nt even ur mum,pls u r d woman d man shl come to u, I mean d guy moda shl go to ur fada if need be or better still ur fada going thir on his own if there is undstanding but d best is to send d midiator of d mariage n nt ur fada going to c her pl....s.or was ur dad thir gate man? Any way talk to ur guy on ur pains but does ur guy listen n do wht they want all d time? Pls jst dscos wt ur guy hear his part n if u r nt convinced pls say NO bt u must let ur guy unsdstand. DD
Walk away, am sure ur fiance cant confront them because he will not like to loose his inheritance, if his parents get angry and disown him, so he's still a baby and not man enough and am afraid marriage to him will definitely bring you problems. all the best as you pass through this phase of life, may the holy spirit counsel u
my dear sis ,,, wit god all tins re possible ,plz stand and face it since u re to live together not wit them n even wit them stand on ur feet and bear it ,, ok assumn wit what u re sayn now ur daughter bring d same challenges whats ur ans.. So dear sis,,, face it @least dey can't seperate u frm him and dey can't chuse for him.. Is ur story tomorrow face it wit understandn and knowledge
Babe,pls walk out n dnt make d mistake of telling him d reason cos he wuld sweet talk u in2 stayin bk.pls marriage is a life tym contract n I bet u want 2 liv d rest ov ur life happy.
My dear, don't let ur man to tell u that I will handle it cos that's where it ends and befor u know it u are in for life. He can never do a s**t about anything once that household is concern. He knows all that u are passing thru now. And as long as he's not doing anything now that he knows u have an option of quitting the relationship, he will never do anything once u are in. I am there already, as I talk to u now the only exit door I am looking at is the court room which I'm not finding easy becos of their influence. Be wise dear and God bless u.
Move abroad to where? And to do what? Do u think people just relocate abroad without a tangible reason? Wht if they both have jobs and businesses established here? They should leave all that and go to be washing plates abroad ....right. please lets get real with our advice.
404 comments:
1 – 200 of 404 Newer› Newest»Girl, I suggest you back out completely. Theres no point living a life of pain and sorrow after saying 'I DO'
Pls run as fast as u can. Ur own is even better that he is from a rich home n you have not taken in. Mine is not even from a rich home yet I luvd him because I believe since we knew each other from way back, life will be easier. As I speak, I have a baby for him but ive walk out. It will never work. Besides its better that his family is good and he is d one bad. My sister use my example learn lesson. It never gets better
Lol are you getting married to him or his family? Trust me, you won't regret it. Just don't call any wedding off since he's rich and might bolster your happiness through his money.
That's why it's good to marry your equals, rich people for rich people, poor people for poor people. I'm glad my gf's parents are stinking rich as well as I am. No need to argue about anything if you both can afford it!
What happened to the common and femi kuti post Linda???
Kai sweetheart, big man big wahala o! No matter how much you love him or he loves you, with that kind of money he will alwyas try to pander t his mother's expectations to avoid being cut out. It is a losing battle. You will NEVER be one of them. Quit while you are ahead. Your children will be put thru paternity tests! I see that coming!
Hey Girl, Damn the riches... Do what makes u happy.. leave if u have to ... Ur life is what matters here.. are u going to be happy for the rest of ur life with them???
Ask your man for re-assurances in the areas you are complaining about, if he can prevent his family from having too much hold on him, you or your union with him, after all you are marrying him and not his family.
Pls walk away now! I'm in a similar situation and I'm almost suicidal now from frustrations!
STAY JARE my darling after all is no big deal trying one man' home before u go to another.... Keep waiting for LIB readers to give u advise to stay u hear
Mtsheww.... I live u with this Yoruba saying "Oko Buruku se fe sugbon Ano Buruku??????
Why not try and complain to ur hubby to be??? If he can't handle tins his own way,then u gonna have a real p wen u guyz get married...it means he's not man enough to take care of his haux...anywys,try and talk to him ova it and if there isn't sign of improvement then u sure gonna hav a big p wen u guyz get married
no stay, see question o?my dearest, they will continue and may even get worse after u re married to him.thats not marriage
Babes,if u can't handle dem nw,u ll neva b able 2 handle dem...1st 2 fuckin comment...linda I use jazz beg u,post me naw...ah ah
RUN!!!! dont walk away, what thats outrageous examining you, quit ur job, summoning ur father. there s no way to escape this except u both relocate out of their city or country
Follow ur heart
Since you don't want such life you quit.i think that will be the best to quit
hmmmmm..my dear take a walk please.
reasons, you do not marry just the man but his family, most times when you go contrary to their rules, regulations and opinion, you are tagged the bad sheep.
love is never enough in a marriage. Understanding is the major word.
Once you do not buy into their lifestyle nor understand and accept their norms, I see no point getting into that family. whether you love he guy silly or not.
once you begin to disagree with them, you start having problems upon problems with your fiancé and then the love goes sour...and then what next???
I guess you should talk to your fiance,he's the only one that can help you out here. if he's not man enough to stand his ground and stop those ill treatments meted at you,then he's not yet ready.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310
The first question is does your husband-to-be have the balls to stand up for you and protect you? If he gives answers like "oh, you're just overreacting." Or "That's just how they are now." or "Oh. My mum is harmless." despite you adamantly voicing your concerns, then you are in for an absolutely miserable time! No amount of money (new or old money) should make you settle for a life of unhappiness. At least if your husband is able to soften the blow, it would at least have been bearable but you haven't mentioned that. So ask yourself can I deal with this for the rest of our lives??? What happens when the kids come, of course good ol' grandma will be overbearing. If you envision a life of misery, run for your life!
In Yoruba land they say you don't get distracted by the market noise but you focus on who you are trading with. Focus on ur fiance every other thing is noise
In other news.With the birth of North, things are starting to go 'up north' for Kanye
There's no way o my dear, its better u run for ur dear life if u know can't handle their ways cos if u use ojukokoro to marry d guy, you are on ur own babez
My sister u better bounce! Cos u'll av d worst nightmare of ur life if u get married 2 him. As dey say "u dnt only marry d man but his family also" but if u really luv him n u feel u can cope well den go ahead. Or rather complain 2 ur husband 2 be and let him make his mum and relatives knw dey shouldn't pry into ur affairs. U both are adults and knw ur left from right.
Wow!.. I'm hating de family already!.. WTF!.. My dear, I don't wish to be in ur shoes!.. Dear God,.. Pls help dis lady!..
to me its funny coz wen u marry him ur life would be controlled by them-after marriage dats wen u will know waz up coz i cant advice u to leave him but u ve to tink well if datz d life u want
My sister, don't ever overlook d prospect of ur own success by attaching urself to a good-for-nothing, god-forsaking family just becos dey av small kobo in dia pocket. Should any of ur family be successful in life, dey will always claim responsibility for any success in ur family. Imagine dem insulting ur father by calling and asking various useless question. Being poor is not being hopeless. If u r not greedy o, take a walk; dia r hardworking, successful and humble guys out dia.
Lin lin is jst talking abut herself here oooo....Linda if u luv him carry go ok...
First to comment
First to comment, will come back for d main comment, Sandra baby
My dear run for ur life....wetin dem dey feel like self??? Mscheeeeeew
If u think dat u can't cope, kindly walk away. But if u see marriage as a 'for-better, for-worse' business and u love him, u can choose to stay. Shikenah
In my own opinion I tink u sld leave the guy dere is no how d family wnt come between u nd d guy u can't run away from dem the best tin is to leave.
I won't advise u to stay or hold on cos its obvious ur fiance wil always dance to him moms tune...dats wot u get frm all dis domineering mother in laws.its a battle dats very difficult to fight unless u fiance isn't tied to his moms apron.Note:a broken engagement is better dan a broken Home!
One word " SCRAM". You wont be living at all. You will never have a home of your own because it seems your man is not man enough to stop his family's BS even before you say "I Do" so when you do they will bring out all the claws.
Love isn't enough in a marriage. He needs to stand up and tell his family to STOP or u better run for ur life. Period.
My dear don't go on with that wedding ooh, u don't even need anyone to tell u what to do coomon with that kind of family u will die young am telling,because there's no way that man will want to leave his family for u so don't go on with the wedding tell him that u don't want to die young. How can u stop working when u marry there brother, they want u to be begging for everything u need or what? Pls pls and pls don't go on with that wedding. U can kill yourself because of love it's hard i know but u just have to call it off. Think
Linda stop this rubbish and post pictures from dbanj's concert yesterday. #IDEYE like you mtchewwww
how much does he love you is what matters in this case ,if your man loves you ,then dont bother yourself with his family ,after all you aren;t gonna live with them
If u think dat u can't cope, kindly walk away. But if u see marriage as a 'for-better, for-worse' business and u love him, u can choose to stay. Shikenah
Please sister walk away for your own sake if not you will become a slave in that house.The man will not even b able 2 handle dem wen d heat begins.Yes you love him buh duh ur happiness o.U cnt go in2 a family dat wud send u 2 ur early grave pls fleeeeeeeeeeee
Please take a walk....
Please check if your future husband have his own mind... Is he man enough to do things outside his "parent"???... if yes you can proceed... otherwise... dust your shoes and move.... remember to also pray to God about it.... good luck
In yoruba land, there's an adage dt says, a bad husband is easier to cope with than terrible inlaws. my dear, ur so on ur own. i dont kno ow that marriage can survive with such kind of inlaws. u gota really tink it through if u can really cope. wish u all d best.
i think u ve 2 talk 2 ur fiance 1st b4 making any decision cos both of u has right 2 what u decide on. See what he think if he does not like his family interfarance u can always live far away frm dem
Nne some men are rare so if he is worth taking d bullet don't run stay and face dem all wen you are inside clip dia wings. Nonesence
And tell that gul to shutup n go marry a gateman then.mtchewwww #IDEYE like you
Please take a walk.
my dear, there's more to marriage than just love; if you cant cope now that u are single wat makes u think u can wen u're legally married to him? am not asking u to call it quit but my dear use ur head and weight ur options, the ball is in ur cot so u will know hw to play it better
Only you can answer this question, you are already getting panic attacks at this stage and its not official. Everyone deserves to be happy even folks from less privileged background. Be true to yourself.
My madam I beg una ,mek U̶̲̥̅̊ run 4 U̶̲̥̅̊Я life º°˚˚˚°ºº°˚˚˚°.
Please take a walk.
My dear u marry a man u marry his family.......wetin u dey wait 4 no tym 2 say no tym
Probably they will turn u to a house maid when u eventually get married to them, be wise dear, everyone in this word need a freedom.
Just die!
my dear,run for your life,they re goin to make life a living hell for you..it is better to get out now
U hav to call off d relationship if ur fiance dos nt hav a say
M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣̥ dear, d writings are on d wall. Dis kind of relationship ȋ̝̊̅§ nt sumfn ♈̷̴̩oυ will enjoy. Explain to U̶̲̥̅̊я̲̅ guy nd if afterwards no corrections, just quit. Broken relationship ȋ̝̊̅§ better than a broken marriage cos as ♈̷̴̩oυ said it, no peace 4 ♈̷̴̩oυ wen ♈̷̴̩oυ marry dis guy
walk away swthreart, coz in all these i do not hear u saying anything abt ur man standing up for u or putting his foot down. u do not want to be stuck with a man thats still breast feeding.
almost all families want to hv control over their kids life, its left for the kids to draw dat line.
money is not every thing my dear, would you rather be rich without the freedom to enjoy wealth or have a promising future with the freedom to live without feeling like a prisoner? pls choose wisely you've got one life to live..sometimes the short cut to wealth might not be the best at the end
PLS QUIT
Plz my beautiful sister, i will advice you not to dear it at all if
what you type on Linda Blog is truly real,
because if u marry that guy u have totally marry the family.
You are too small to start with these big experience. take my advice or you ignore it.
I love you bye.
Try to talk it with your man and hear what he as to say
My dear, marrying a good man from a bad or controlling family is asking for trouble. I know this because I am speaking from experience. They either take u out if u dnt comply or make Sure their son leaves u. Its even worse when the family r diabolic, truSt me it isn't cute. Bt I ll suggest u pray about it. Goodluck on ur decision
When you marry, you don't only marry d individual, you also marry his family. If u think u can't cope, then leave. Simple. Linda pls post my comment.
If you love him then you should learn to love his family. shikena
Oniru family tinz!
dear, what makes u think u can cope as his wife when u find it hard adapting now? i wont ask u call it off but u need to weight ur options very well, for how long how are u gonna live in the cage of ur husband's family, better be a single happy lady instead of a married melancholic woman
i really think you should let ur fiancee understand your fears, if he can't do anytin about it then u have to quit or continue if you can stand the shit wen u guys get married. a word is enough for the wise. Phil says so.....
Like they say, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. My dear dont be a victim, I av seen such
Since nobody dares question her authority, I suggest you talk to your guy if he can do something to make them leave you to-be family outta their command zone, if there's nothing he can do. Baby girl RUN away from him and his family. Nothing like freedom, you're not a slave that they buy to control. You have right even as a wife and nobody can deprive you of that and you also need to be free to make your own decision, not someone making it for you and your family. So I suggest if there's nothing your guy can do about it, RUNning away from them is the only option *ThatFunctionGuy*
Swthrt work away in peace b4 u end up pieces!
This is simple. Just endure and marry the guy and then when you do, convince him to move abroad shikena. Go and read about Samson and Delilah then you go know say woman get power.
my dear follow your mind. But b4 you do that what's this your man's stand on all of these?
You hubby needs to set his elite family straight. He is the one letting them treat you like this. If he stands up to them, they'll stew inside but no one will have the audacity to say or treat you like you haven't come from a decent family as well. If he can't do that for you then you need to consider if you can't live with their interference forever or count your losses and move on to someone from a nicer but maybe not so elite family.
no my dear u dot have to cut off d engagement cos of d family, wht matters is did d guy in question love u d way u do if yes den go ahead ad marry d man u love, just be patient wit d family, plan wit d guy so dat after d wedding u both will live d house for dem. dat is my advice
Better walk away b4 U regret ur LIFE!!! U il find ur match...trust me.
I dunno if I'm first to comment but let me BE VERY sincere with u dear.. It will be hard ohhh but u have to walk away. It is better to have a broken engagement than a broken marriage. Since you are already sensing fire my dear better RUN.. In africa when u marry a man u marry his family.. Except this guy is very unafrican and intends and is planning on breaking away I think you should leave..I knw you might feel sorry for him and love him, but u obviously can't put up with his family so u should leave.. Save him and urself future heart aches
One word babe........Disappear........else U̶̲̥̅̊ re in for real wahala....
This is the most redicluos story I have ever read. Ask urself if u can condule the attitude before u say I do. Ur supposed husband has no say if not he won't let
u pass through that. Run for ur dear life.
You talk like someone who already has the plan to play outside your matrimonial home once married. You dey find where you go dey keep late night partying and attending all red carpets? Wetin dey hungry you no dey market yet.
If your intention into that family is genuine then don't be panic. Abi no be love you get? WOMEN can never be pleased. If you poor an wahala,if you rich na gbege,if you popular na kasala,if you no popular dey go dey faint for celebrities.
My definition for women is Women want everything and nothing.
You beta run and leave that man becos in as much as you love him it doesn't change d fact dat ur life is about to end with frustration.
It really is all down to your finace
1. Does he have a back bone?
2. Does he let his family control him? ---I'm guessing yes if he let you be subject to their silly medical examination etc
3. Does he have an independent source of income or is he dependent on his family's wealth?
4. Have you discussed your concerns with him ? what is his view
Forget the fact that the family is wealthy..that's a red herring, a meddling family , rich or poor will always be a source of misery.
It takes a strong and supportive husband to cut out the BS . If your fiance is dependent on his family and not willing to fight your corner then forget it. Walk away
Dearie,
Since the man is not man enough to know when to speak up @ dis point,he's not good enough.He should be able to set boundaries where his family dosen't cross,if he cant do it now,there's no way he'd do it in the future.You're not marrying the family,you're marrying the man.THE BIBLE SAYS: THE MAN AND WOMAN WILL LEAVE THEIR PARENTS AND CLEAVE TO THEIR SPOUSE.
Switheart pls run for ur dear life a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.from all indications his family is going to make life a living hell for you after you marry their son,money is not everything quit the relationship now.to be fore warned is to be fore harmed.CHI
Please i will advice you not to dear it at all, because if you eventually marry that guy you have marry the own family.
and by the way, if what you typed on Linda Blogs is truly real i will say don't marry the man, because i have same experience and I'm pleading for you not to marry that guy.
My own experience was a daughter of state director NYSC, the same story you typed on Linda Blog happened to me.
so take my advice or you leave it. here my email: olushola000@gmail.com if you want to here more about my experience.
Thank you.
Cool cool, exactly d same situation I was in some years ago...so in love wt d guy but knew I cldnt cope wt d family....so rich n loud. In my case dey were nt pressurin me yet cos it ws stl bf/gf bt I knew dis is wat dey wld do...na wetin dem dey do to d odas wey don reach to marry enter d family.
Babes it ur choice, depending on ur background...if u can cope...if ur hubby is d type dt wl prefer u to his family n b protective, if he also is nt happy wt wat dey r doin n thinks it is wrong...if u r strong enof to endure cos d 'battle' may take years n years on end.
.den go ahead.
If u r frm a very conservative background like mine...neva saw my parents argue or fight, dont knw aw to use abusive words..(d first time I called someone a fool my friends were so concerned abt me)...I dont knw aw to even live or enjoy a loud n lousy lifestyle...I cant deal wt d idea of acquirin n acquiring witout giving out or helping d needy...cant even spend so much on anytin dt isnt an investment...den please LEAVE...d frustratn wl b too much...I took my time to outline dos things just incase u can relate wt dem.
Its ur choice once again, be very truthful n sincere wt urself...if u can't cope dont send urself to early grave....most of such families also lack morals n values...before u even do one thing, dey r talkn abt second wife or divorce....just make up ur mind.
I am now wt someone who really loves me n has already made his family see me as his priority...even his dad respects me..n dey r nt poor either. We r gettn married in few weeks time.
My ex is also married now...he got married last month...I tink d girl is a good match for him..she was already being a stooge for his mum even during d relationship (we stl talk n he tells me lots of things), she already playing by d rules n she too na frm jaiye jaiye family (op u knw wat dis means)...I wish dem well.
Babes, pray n make up ur mind fast...
My lengthy two cents...lol
miss learner. you are still asking. no stay there. mshew
You talk like someone who already has the plan to play outside your matrimonial home once married. You dey find where you go dey keep late night partying and attending all red carpets? Wetin dey hungry you no dey market yet.
If your intention into that family is genuine then don't be panic. Abi no be love you get? WOMEN can never be pleased. If you poor an wahala,if you rich na gbege,if you popular na kasala,if you no popular dey go dey faint for celebrities.
My definition for women is Women want everything and nothing.
I will advice u 2 kindly run for your dear life..Same thing happened 2 me sme yrs bk I went tru hell all in d name of carrying engagement ring abt at the end of d day I had 2 walk out of the relationship cos d mum and family no gree me rest, I was even preg but I lost d baby due 2 2much fnkn I had an accident a bike hit me! My dear, don't go 4 luv, follow ur heart *Yoruba proverb says #oko buruku se fe,ana burukwu o se ni# its really true 2 lyf...pls think twice!
You're not yet married to him and they treat you like this! So you can imagine how they will treat you once you are "legally theirs". You'd pretty much be a slave!
and mind you, there is no decision that the guy can take outside his family, so think twice before you involve your self into dangerous marriage.
Bye
Talk 2him, he's gt 2und tht if ud go further wt d engagement and marriage, uv gt 2mk some decisions too. Its tough sha wen its tht way bt b careful and don't b too quick 2conclude!
~D great anonymous!
"WEIGH"!!!!!!...tank. Me later
Sweetie, if marrying this lad wnt give you joy,pls no 50/50, no life-line, no ask a friend.. just walk away.
You man shld have a mind of hs own aswell ey!
You marry now, u start to ask fr divorce later.. you choose?
regardless, take your time.. think about it... its your call..
My Dear,
Liberty is everything. Your fiance is also under the same influence. The choice is yours now. It'll be worse than you imagined when you finally get in, much more,they will rub it into your immediate family. Summoning your father for what? what was your fiance's opinion to this? Obviously he is not yet a man. The hand that rocked his craddle still rocks and will always rock his life including you.
The choice is yours. Be ready to dance to their tune, if your sweetheart is worth it or face the consequences of daring a 'Matrirach' & her daughter(s), no be ewa agonyi oh.
Time bomb ticking..cnt u smell it?
this is what happens..u see warning signs and something tells u to quit, and then people go ahead and marry and then the marriage never lasts...
if this is what is happening while you're engaged, it means when u get married it'd be worse..did u not notice these while u were dating, tell him to learn to be a man and take control...he is very nice but once he allows his family to do these to u, it means he clearly lacks the qualities to control and be a man..you are getting married to him and NOT his family, mother nor sister...
I understand you really love this guy buh life is not all about love but also liberty and rem be sure of your decision before you make the bigest mistake of your life
Asking d family doc to check u wif dose silly qtns is pretty extreme n I didn't read anywhere ur man stood up 4 u,if u cnt cope nw wen its lyk dis marriage won't make it beta bt worse.pls move b4 u loose ur head bcos of marriage since even him cnt qtn his mom
I understand you really love this guy buh life is not all about love but also liberty and rem be sure of your decision before you make the bigest mistake of your life
1st of all ur fiance is an olodo for never speaking up for u and u and ode for not realising that. Can't u open ur mouth and tell him how disgrunted u feel n how he watches them humiliate u? No man who truly loves u can stand a minute of that.excpt ur a desperado not to speak up!
If you can't deal with it, please take a walk. And remember, here in Africa, you just don't marry a guy, you marry into the guy's family. There's nothing wrong with that, truth is, there are some people you just can't cope with chiefly because of their attitude; if you force it, you"l compound problems.
Life is too short, to be in anything that does not suit you
My Sister, The Matriarch you described fit the character of Victoria Grayson in the series REVENGE. Please leave them alone before it is too late. Except your fiance is the stubborn type that will not give in to their manipulation.
I would like ask if ur fiance is aware,if he's aware wat has he been saying? And if he can't tlk to his family ,I wld advise u walk away cos isn't the man ure marrying is his familyand if they re bhaving lik this, thers no assurance u ll enjoy ur marriage
Use your tongue to count your teeth and take the right decision for YOU. There are more to come. This is only courtship o, when you marry, you've become their property. If your fiance has allowed you to go through THIS now, expect more, he is not in charge at all. My 2 cents.
www.joisaysblog.com
love indeed, if the guy was a broke ass or a regular guy, u would have hit the road, now cos of the money ur confused, ask ur self this qiz, this guy without the money would u still love him
walk away
If u can cope with all their shits,my dear gboju. Marry d man and conquer dem.oga pass oga
It all depends on your fiance. I'll advise you to "bounce" if your fiance is of the mama's boy mold. Please people don't beg this blogger to post your comments because this blogger needs u more than u need her..makes me sick reading them.
my dear,its one thing for u and ur family to be subjected to such,but its another for ur finacee to sit back and allow it happen.if he cannot stand up to them now,dont expect any change after u get married.read my lips,NOTHING will change after you tie the knot,rather it can only get worse....run while you can,and pray for divine guidance...
Buhahahahaha.....no1....if u have balls and game marry him....no2 if not?break up...no1:1 talk 2 ur man and live far away frm dem...deal wit dealables and ve ur children and focus on dem,dnt ans stupid questions,infact allow dem reject u and let ur boo fight ur fight ifhe cnt?look @ it dis way dear!if ur modainlaw cnt giv u peace its. Bcoz she got peace in her husbands house!Barn both ur folks and his folks frm coming 2 ur house 4 peace2reign.love and pray 4 ur home.seek peace no b 2 turn 2 mumu.2:2 if u cnt do al these!find another story.
if ur man cant do anything about it i suggest u walker away cos it wil b very hard for u to answer once married
Now thats a very tight angle to be in... The options are quite clear, as are the implications, and neither is easy. If you think you can put up with all those things for the rest of your life, then proceed. but don't make the mistake of thinking you can alienate his family from your marriage. THIS IS AFRICA where you don't just marry the man/woman, you also indirectly marry the family-with all their problems or prospects. If deep down you know you are fed up, and there is no prospect of change, Lady, quit. I think what you really need now is courage, to take a stand.
Please walk broken engagement is always better than broken marriage and frm experience you don't just want to get stucked!
Person wey sabi wetin dem they yarn. Thank you! Love without freedom is NOT love
RRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!
Don't just walk away..Run away......ur fiance should be entitled to his decisions regarding his relationship,I am not saying he should not listen to his family but the degree of his family involvement in the relationship is alarming,if he can't stand up and speak out to this family about what he wants for himself then they is no point my dear....RUN AWAY!
Talk tyns out with ur man,am sure he wld av noticed what his family pple are doing to U.If he isn't gonna agree wit ur views as regards relocation.,its better u move on cos if u marry him and aint free from dere pressure,u guys wld eventually divorce.
What are they feeling like?my dear don't go to that family,his mum don't even have respect for ur dad asking him to come to her house?... Nooo that can happen to my presous dad ooo, they r d one that supos to come n see ur dad not ur dad going there. Haba
I hope the wealth difference is not huge across both families cos if it is,then your predicament can only get worse after marriage.meanwhile,there is no guarantee,the next guy will have a better family. Ultimately,its the guy you are marrying that matters.if he still has some balls ,then he can defend you when it gets too bad. if you truly love him and he loves you too,then go ahead,the matriach won't be alive forever.
If ur fiance could allow this from his family at this stage, my dear expect more. So d best thg is 2 walk away if u are not ready to leave with it. Continue praying and God shall do urs for u
Seems like you are not in the same class with them, therein lies the problem. Marry him and cry forever.
If you are a smart girl then you should be able to read the handwriting on the wall, its time to take a walk cos like they say a broken relationship is always better than a broken marriage. If you have to go through all this when you finally marry the guy then you'll be scarred for life. A word is enough for the wise.
PS; Money can't buy happiness and peace of mind.
My thoughts exactly! Sometimes love ain't enough. If really his mum calls the shots do you really think it will be that easy to yank him off his mum and both of you ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after like some low budget romance movie? I wasn't impressed that your father was summoned and interrogated as though he were applying for a job! Gossh! You guys aren't married yet. Trust me, this love with fly away when the harsh realities of life hit you. How can they dictate whether or not you work after marriage?! Pls I hope deep down you don't feel worthy enough to have him because you give a rather disturbing vibe. It's the man and his family who ought to do all they can to impress you and not the other way around. Honey pls think twice because from where I stand, I see an impending train wreck.
Darling,if yo man can't get his family to respect and love you I think u shld call it quits..U marry a man,u marry his family...if it doesn't end now it won't end in the nearest future....rich ppl with wretched mentality.imagine them asking their family doctor to examine u....like serzly?.such men are hard to fine,yes bt don't forget dey can turn him against u.let him set things straight or u walk away!
pray about it first, then talk to the guy because you may be able to let him finally stand up for himself even if you guys don't work out at least you would have helped him know he is a man and he has to start making his OWN decisions. But if the guy isn't ready to man up, then dear he aint gon be ready to protect you YET from his overly opinionated family if you marry him.
That family you hate gave birth to your fiance.. if you love him so much you should appreciate his family. me nor fit marry person wey hate my family, NEVER
The best thing to do is to talk to your fiance and tell him if he wants to get marry to you he should better warn that his family to respect themselves. Ahhha what kind of family is that!
I personally cannot accept that not even from Barract Obama or Bill Clintons family, but if you can cope good for you
I don't know if my comment will reach you or you will be able to read it. However, I thought I should add little to the already posted comments.
First of all, it is the nice guy you are marrying and not the family even if we believe in our own part of the world that a woman marries the entire family of a man. Apart from that, running away from the guy at this point is not the answer or solution to what you are seeking.
It is humiliating and belittling for the guy's family to treat you and your father the way they are treating you. I think I will fault your father in the first place for honouring the invitation of the guy's mother. It does not mean that because they are prominent, rich or whatever that no one can show his or her integrity to them. It is them who want you as a wife and not you who want the guy as a husband so your father shouldn't have been summoned to their house in the first place.
What I will suggest is, you should make a complete stand with the guy before you jump into this kind of lifetime relationship. Make them know your conditions. If you do not want to quit your job after marriage then make it known to him before entering into marriage. Stand your ground on your mother-in-law's position. Make it known that you are also entitled to your right and way as a wife and not to be maltreated by her. Do not throw away your dignity and integrity because of his sister's, mother or any one from his family....although they deserve their respect but not in a way that will wipe away your reputation and humanity.
Sort this out now and do not wait for later.
This is my little advice to u, i guess u ve to think very well b4 u step in finally. its not a good experience having that kind of challenges. Your finacy might promise u heaven and heart just to please u but trust me as soon as u into their family, he will change back to what his family wants him to be. i ve witnessed that b4 and is still happening to alot of people out there. Mind u, freedom is essential,mandatory,obligatory. please dont toy with it..a word is enought for a whise.....Linda post my comment o because u have not be doing that, any attempt not to post it, i will not visit your site anymore.
CALL IT OFF! RUN NOW! DONT BOTHER TALKING TO YOUR 'MAN'. LEAVE THEM ALONE.
FUTURE MOTHER IN LAW SUMMON YOUR FATHER????
HMMN! MY DEAR, PICK RACE.
ITS BETTER YOU RUN NOW, WHEN THERE'LL BE NO JUDGEMENT, THAN WANTING TO RUN WHEN THERE WILL.
Marriage is one tin u cn neva do away wit,pls gurl tink n pray ove it cos no woman will wnt to suffer in ha husband's family,wish u all d best.
PLS IF UR GUY CANT PUT HIS FOOT DOWN, BOUNCE DEAR.
are there not other men who are willing to marry you,y marry and become a slave,my sister abeg park well o b4 u end up sad 4 d rest of your life.
If you don't want 2 end up being a victim of frustration, u better take ur leave now. Who knows if the man has the same trait but still hiding it all because u have not said i do.
RUN RUN RUN! I almost married into a similar family but thank God that didn't happen. Your life will be a living hell. Love him from a distance and RUN!
Since ur boyfrnd don't ve a say my dear is bera u quit,because if anytin happen wen he is not in town he will believe not u.
At d end of d day if u find it hard to convice ,trust me dey will ask ur husband to get anoda wife,they will boot u out!so use ur head
My sis no go there at all, cos u wil regret.
Bitter truth is 'Just walk away'. But before u take that decision, find out from wives of the other sons or husbands of their daughters. just try and get close to them, let them confide in u and tell u how it has been with them. if its d way u re sayin now, just walk away else they re goin 2 make ur life miserable.. funny enough, there still mite b some other 'secrets' lurking somewhere in d family waiting 2 b revealed when u ve tied the knots... However, Just put it all in prayer and let God direct u. Yorubas say 'U can still tolerate a bad wife, but a bad inlaw is worse' cos who would u report her to wen she misbehaves? but if she (ur wife) is bad, and the inlaws re gud, there are chances she could change if being talked to. However, same goes to husbands too.
babe run for your life. if you challenge them, you will end up dead o with no cause of death....its not worth it...
@michael 1:00pm,u no get sense at all, Is dat an advice????? Sure u re a minor, dis is 4 matured minds okay???
If your fiance is from a poor home,you would have dump him before announcing it here."eatin guguru"
My dear life is so sweet for u to now imprison urself. All I will say is dat u shuld folo ur heart. Talk to ur man and u ppl shld reason together.
My dear d choice is yours,but once u r in,u r married 2 d family and they will control ur life. So weigh d 2 options and make a decision.its ur life.(Living in bondage)
My dear its better you run away now, because u will end up divorcing the man after marriage, it would be nice u leave their son if you dnt want to be an house maid.
Dats a lie!!!
RUN BABE!! Run for ya dear life,or else you'll be running from ur miserable life!
My dear run for ur life. Ʊ bout to walk into ur death zone.godforbid.I knw thr type. Especially wen Ʊr family is not same level finacially. Nd if ur man cannot stand up to them its worse. This is d tip of d iceberg wen Ʊ married d game changes. Ʊ become a slave in ur home.pls dear marriage is not all about luv. Walk away aSap
I think u shld walk away o
Hi dear. Your fiance is the deciding factor here. If he is a rebel and does not conform to the rules in his family then u r safe. It means his type would never be forced to do anyting.
But! If he's the permissive type and well under the control of his family, then u need to walk away and fast! His kind will never stand up for u when he needs to.
Look marriage has enuf of it's own issues as it is, if u can alredy sight the issues from ur inlaws, then its a sign u shud not ignore.
No marriage is perfect but never be accused of walking into a lifetime of heartache with ur eyes wide open.
On the other hand, this marriage might just be perfect for u if you plan to be a docile wife for the rest of ur married life. But from the tone of ur message, I don't think so!
All the best!
My dear, my people say "omo buruku se fe, ano buruku o se ni". In other words, if u marry a bad man, u could still have people to talk to him about his ways but if u have horrible in-laws, you are in hell. Pls sit down and discuss with your man, stating clearly your stand. If he is easily swayed by his family, especially his mother, u need to run faster than your legs can even carry u. You are not 80, u'll find someone else. Good luck.
Oh pleassssse!!
Sorry dear but sincerely speaking I'll suggest u....................another man!
Talk 2 your man about it and if he's unable 2 do anything, i think you should call it off.
Jez 1 thing to say! My dear e cud get worse ooo
My dear, RUN!!!!!!!! Run 4 ur lyf! Cos @ d end of d day, love wldnt b enof 2 right d wrongs nd cure d wounds. If he's family aint good, den he's nt 4 u. In mrrg ova here, u mrry d fam nt d dude.
Take a walk for life dear,or go ahead wf d marriage nd b dat woman dat knws no happiness for d rest of her lyf.don't be deceived that evryfin s gonna be fyn once yu married,it ll evn get worse. i know of a family like that, en trust mi ur fiance is helpless,dr s just nuffin he can do...*take d hint*
Yoruba proverb says: ''omo buruku se fe,anan buruku ko se ni'' you better leave him or else you will turn to a slave forever.
The wedding ring is the only handcuff that cannot be broken (except with death), choose your prison wisely.
They had their doctor examine you??? And they called your fathe to ask him what?? If you value your family and I think you do , you will let him go. Aaagh this is ridiculous. Trust me ytou'll have to put up with all this shit for life. Forewarned is forearmed. Your fiance should have a voice . If he doesn't what makes you think he'll change . Money or not he should be his own man! You're wasting your time .
But seriously. To start with I think ur father shouldn't have gone to their house in the first place. Cos for Christ sakes. They r d One who wants to marry u, so if dere should be any seeing to be done, it is dt dier mother dt should go see ur father in his house(in respective of our it looks, talk less she asking him ridiculous questions). D fact dt Ɣ☺ΰ r marrying into a rich home does not give anybody the right to treat u lesser dn u are. The moment u stand on ur feet nd don't allow them to boss u around, dey will see Ɣ☺ΰ don't care about their goddam money(that if u don't really care). Nd with dt happening I guess ur man will be able to make the right decisions.
STAY! THE MOTHER WILL DIE SOMEDAY
Sweetheart i think what u ought 2 do 1st is get on your knees and ask God if he's ur husband and if u get an affirmation, then ask 4 wisdom to handle Z family.
Simple!
Hi dear. First of all, have a sit down with your man. If he as a man cannot draw the line and take his nuclear family as a priority, sweetheart it ain't worth it marrying him. So talk to him about your concerns. Also let him know that if he will let his family run his home, he'll have to choose between you and his family. I want to guess his family is not really happy with his choice, that's why they are so difficult.
Count the cost dear, if you'll be ok with their interference,conditions and rules no problem then go ahead and have a fairytale wedding.
Pls dear walk out
Let him know ur fears,buh if he says family is family,my dear,just go,n pray too...cos you should be in a family whre u r loveD,my inlaws calls me every now n then,and we live far away from them,n they have no right to tell my husband what to do,even though his father is King...all ds lagos dynasty sef...ndi ala
I will advice u 2 challenge his mother but b4 den u ve 2 make up ur mind on wot d out come will b cos it might result 2 his mother asking her son 2 leave u or d guy dumping u,so prepare ur mind and challenge her.hw much does she ve or is she dangote's wife? Even if na dangote's wife God pass am, I hate intimidation wit a passion
Ȋ̝̊̅t̶̲̥̅̊ happened †Φ ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥, but right now that we Ǎ̜̣̍я̲̅ε̲̣̣̣̥ married, A̶̲̥̅̊Ώ̶̲̣̣̥d̶̲̥̅̊ we later got our own house, nobody is disturbing ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥, there's peace in Ʈђε̲̣̣̣̥ family, not as expected. Though my husband really tried his best. Everythg lies in ur fiance's hands.Linda pls publish M̶̲̥̅̊y̶̲̥̅̊ comment, ℓ̊ beg u in Ʈђε̲̣̣̣̥ name of God. A̶̲̥̅♏ in luv with ur blog, but decided †Φ comment today.
one word for you. DONT BOTHER!
Girl run for ur life cus its dangerous
Babe, I am so sure u r not from a rich family..u myt come from an average family dou buh lemme tell u somfin, assume dat u r from a rich fam' like deres even dat stupid sis in law will wanna chill by ursyd...gbabe!!! No p, rich kids do live by dere fam' rules...just run into my hands, am selfmade millionaire...humble and will make u happy, chill buh u must be fine at least..tall, educated n God fearing...u don't need to very pweety or wear a brazilian hair. Aii! Lol.in all, my advice for u is to move on b4 u see Gobe!
I wld advice u sincerely to walk away especially if your fiance is a mummy's boy! I did, and three yrs later God compensated me with the best man in the world! No time to waste,and if u are struggling now,when u become legally married you go turn to mad woman oh!
Beta run ifnt wen u marry,d mother wil draw timetable of wen2 v sex wt ur hubby.....funny buh dts a fact.
Usain Bolt.................THE DON
My first question is that what in ur fiancée's take on this? if he is also used to this way of life.. babe take a walk cos apparently he is a so called mama's boy but if he is ready to stand up for u then u can take the shot with him. Always remember that u cannot marry the man alone, u are also signing to marry his family.... So be prayerful and also look before u leap so that u don't fall into a pit.
my dear run for ur life
if he cant fight 4 u den tek a walk
If this story is true, my advice is for you to run for your dear life because things will not change even after your marriage. Resisting their interference and control after marriage will only give you endless misery.
RUN FOR DEAR LIFE !!!!!!!!
My dear, eti e melo (how many ears you have)? Don't walk away, RUN!!! If its this bad before you enter, it will only get worse!!!
Theres no need telling her to talk to her fiancé cos am sure she knows the exact outcome. U alrdy no wat to do babe but u considering the comfort u will get from this thing u calling marriage. Do the right thing cos I no u no wat the so called right thing is....goodluck!
Are any of his brothers married? How is the relationship between the wife and the mum? I think you have already shown them you are willing to dance to their tune by going for the check up and allowing your daddy to be belittled. I don't think you can't stand up to her. Who is she sef? You just need to talk to your husband-to-be about your concerns and if he feels the same way then you both need to put your foot down and say no to her demands. Nonsense. As if that's how someone controlled her own marriage.
Theres no need telling her to talk to her fiancé cos am sure she knows the exact outcome. U alrdy no wat to do babe but u considering the comfort u will get from this thing u calling marriage. Do the right thing cos I no u no wat the so called right thing is....goodluck!
My dear, now u still have your head on your body back off. why??? i met a lady year back she was married to a member of one of the wealthest family in nigeria as at today everyone know this family sorry don't want to mention names. according to this lady she met the guy abroad got married they had one kid. Behold his family started asking him to come home and remarry another lady they will chose for him, before then they told the lady to bring her child home so they can train her in their own way but she refuse, so the pressure to remarry was really on the guy to the extend his account was freezy (both abroad and in nijia), to tell you the extent of family influence, the guy couldn't take it any more he has to come home remarry and left the wife and kid abroad to survive on their own. Thank God, the lady was educate and she treaty to take them to the highest court, they had to let her go with her child. as a single mother. According to her she went through hell raising her child alone because it was not part of her plan in life.dear poster you are not only marrying the guy but also the family wheather you like it or not. Less i forget she told me her mother-in-law controlled all her children. SHINE YOUR OKPOLO EYE AND THINK WITH UR HEAD IF YOU REALLY WANT THIS. when you have peace of mind, you have love.
follow ur mind oooo
Evryone deserves to be happy dear... Money is not happiness remember!
one thing about marriage is that u dnt only marry the man, u marry the family also. So if u cannot cope with his family, you have to discuss with him and take a final decision. Marriage is to be enjoyed and not to be endured. The ball is in your court dear!
I stood up to d one that tried to control my marriage and she went from lioness to chicken. You are making it easy for her that's why.
the first thing you want to look out for is how your man treats his mum...if he is the very close type to her who is afraid to tell her the truth or any other member of his family, then i think you have a problem there...but if he is not afraid to confront his mum but is close as a son shuld be to a mum, then you should give him a chance by first talking with him on the matter...and if this matter is one you are afraid to talk to him about, then in my humble opinion i'll say quit sharp sharp.
Believe me no matter how nice ur guy is,ur entire life wil be miserable d moment u marry him.dats wen u realise d kind of power parents have over their children.a bad mother inlaw is an enough reason for to run for ur life.its not worth it becos at d end u wil stil be alone an lonely in ur husband house,so run now dat u can.speaking from experiece am just 26yrs an I've been a lot in my marraige,some mother inlaws ar devils representatives on earth.RUN for ur LIFE.
RUN!!!!but wait...u marrying a nice man or a nice boy? cuz parents dnt even do this to their teenage son's girlfriend hw much more, wha?. don't settle jus cuz 'men are rare', cuz u know wht? so will ur opinion ;)...in the near future! and about talking to ur fiancé, duhlin if he's already watching u arm-crossed while u get patronized by his ppl. the talk might be a long shot (worth trying still) gluck
Nne, lemme tell you the truth. Your man does not see anything wrong with these family traditions, and you can never blend, I hate to advice people to let go of love when it is so hard to come across sweet love, but letting go is just a good option,because if the guy talks to his family and they accept to let you be, I bet they wont totally let you enjoy your marriage!
Pls dear, y shl ur fada go 4 such call fm a woman nt even ur mum,pls u r d woman d man shl come to u, I mean d guy moda shl go to ur fada if need be or better still ur fada going thir on his own if there is undstanding but d best is to send d midiator of d mariage n nt ur fada going to c her pl....s.or was ur dad thir gate man? Any way talk to ur guy on ur pains but does ur guy listen n do wht they want all d time? Pls jst dscos wt ur guy hear his part n if u r nt convinced pls say NO bt u must let ur guy unsdstand. DD
Walk away, am sure ur fiance cant confront them because he will not like to loose his inheritance, if his parents get angry and disown him, so he's still a baby and not man enough and am afraid marriage to him will definitely bring you problems. all the best as you pass through this phase of life, may the holy spirit counsel u
my dear sis ,,, wit god all tins re possible ,plz stand and face it since u re to live together not wit them n even wit them stand on ur feet and bear it ,, ok assumn wit what u re sayn now ur daughter bring d same challenges whats ur ans.. So dear sis,,, face it @least dey can't seperate u frm him and dey can't chuse for him.. Is ur story tomorrow face it wit understandn and knowledge
The most important factor would have been your man . He is nice but not man enough to stand up to his family . Marry at your own risk !
Babe,pls walk out n dnt make d mistake of telling him d reason cos he wuld sweet talk u in2 stayin bk.pls marriage is a life tym contract n I bet u want 2 liv d rest ov ur life happy.
My dear, don't let ur man to tell u that I will handle it cos that's where it ends and befor u know it u are in for life. He can never do a s**t about anything once that household is concern. He knows all that u are passing thru now. And as long as he's not doing anything now that he knows u have an option of quitting the relationship, he will never do anything once u are in. I am there already, as I talk to u now the only exit door I am looking at is the court room which I'm not finding easy becos of their influence. Be wise dear and God bless u.
Move abroad to where? And to do what? Do u think people just relocate abroad without a tangible reason? Wht if they both have jobs and businesses established here? They should leave all that and go to be washing plates abroad ....right. please lets get real with our advice.
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