My younger sister has been living with me since I became independent and moved to Lagos to start a new life. That was eight years ago. I got married three years ago and my wife moved in with us and since then I have known no peace. They are constantly quarreling, making accusations, and have even exchanged blows a few times.
My wife packed out of the house in April with our two small children and said she would not return until my sister leaves the house. I can't send my sister packing because I am the only relative she has in Lagos and she just finished her university education and looking for a job. Asking her to leave means asking her to go back to Owerri where our parents stay and that's not what she wants at this time. I can't afford to get her her own place but I want my wife to return home. What do I do?
Watch Judge Judy on CBS reality. She is a wise woman, he tells warring parties not to fight their siblings over their wives or husbands. She'd tell you the rate of divorce at present. In her own words, "Your spouse might leave, but your sibling never will. Blood is thicker than water. believe me, I am a smart woman" Before any of you rain down curses on me, I am a married woman and I encourage my husband to have a close relationship with his siblings. They have their faults, so do I. I try to overlook a lot of things jaare.
Inukwa! Like seriously?? Oga, this is 2013, there's no excuse for such ignorance. Try moving in with your sis when married and rub shoulders with her husband...she won't take it lightly with u . what will you tell ur kids 10yrs from now.?! I blame your naive wife for leaving d house. Your sis met a quiet woman..like she won't want to v me as a sis in-law.Truth is1. your mum or your pastor should do your dirty job by calling ur sis to order since u r too soft or lame to do it. 2.Start hooking ur sis up wt ur unmarried friends cos she is feeling frustrated and takes it out on d mother of ur kids.! 3. any insults rained on ur wife is indirectly for u pls go to ur wife on bended knees if possible wt ur sister!! 2 captains can't be on same boat.Ur sis needs to keep her distance.
All wives married their husbands cos of what he is or has. All sisters do not choose their brothers , all wives choose their husbands. Man, be wise, your sister could save you tomorrow. Tread cautiously on this matter. DO NOT send your sister packing. Ignore both of them, believe me it works! Hehehehehehe!
you area big fool. coomon go rent an appartmentfor your sister if u need your wife. didyou not know der will be a querell before you brot in your wife? dont be a learner.
A lot of wives go into marriage with a pre-conceived notion about in-laws. You want to come in and control what you did not sow abi? My wife comes first, YES, but I will not send my sister packing. PERIOD. SMH.
Guy grow some balls men, dis lady wuld marry too pls help her now b4 she bcomes a problem in ur marriage. I pray she gets married soon so she would express married life as well, Amen!
Some chicks come from broken homes or where their mothers has a bad relationship with their in-law. These chicks then apply it to their own marriages. In-Laws could be a pain in the ass, but pls don't make a man choose.
I know a lady who was kicked out of her bro's house after he got married for no just reason. The wifey felt her husband was so rich that they didn't need anybody. The sis-in-law got a plum job later on and today, is the financial backbone of his brother as his business collapsed. Guy, be careful. Pray! Pray! Pray! for wisdom and guidance.
Hello Mr, Ur wife iur immediate family and ur sis, ur extended family/ The Bible says wot God has joined together, let no man put asunder.Your sis is trying to put asunder in ur marriage if u allow her besides, this same bible says a man shall leave sis father and mother and cleave to his wife. You wanted an help meet and God gave you one but u want to throw it away. your sis should to terms with the fact that your wife is ur wife and there is nothing she can do about it. The same respect she gives to you should be accorded to ur wife. Mr, if u don't want to regret ur actions, quickly go and get ur family back.
To start with, your sister is so disrespectful and shameless. She is a graduate, no job yet and doesn't seem to be doing anything, cos if she was, she'll be hardly around to pick up quarrels with your wife. She shouldn't wait to be told before moving out, if she schooled in Lagos and had a good character, she wouldn't have a problem of where to squat when she started having problems with your wife. As for your wife, i pity her, she didn't marry a man that understands what it means to become ''one''. Mr man a part of you and precious gifts are out and you're here seeking dumb advice. Send the ngbeke dat is feeling funky back to the village abeg!
A man must leave his father's house to unite with his wife, please send her back to owerri, your status don change, what message are you passing across as a father? Please act the man you are.
My case is somehow similar just that my hubby won't take that thrash: his nephew is like 8 years older than me but trust me when I enter the living room and he sees me he ll hand over the remote controls and others. He loves his family to death but he makes them believe that if you see my wife you have seen me so please respect. It's so unfair the way family members try to come in between sometimes. The horrible thing about this my brother inlaw is that once he knows hubby has money or gets something new he ll go and tell the mum (who is huuby's elder sister) then she ll start demanding for things. God abeg
It depends on the husband though; its the way he places his wife in front of his sister: I'm 26 and have been married for 2 years but trust me if my husband's sisters (who are all older than me by the way) want to visit they ll call me to know if they can come. Fear no go let them call their brother first oh na me, and he loves them to death but still
my father once slapped two of his junior sisters for being rude to my mum. they haven't stopped being rude but now, every1 knows their boundaries and there's peace. they probably gossip abt her and my dad and us in their circle but they cannot dare to make it open.... and he will always say, "a mans family can only go to the extent that the man permits them to".......... be wise my dear......... by the way, most of them are miserable in their matrimonial home......
Its obvious this man is weak,and the wife is always taking him for granted and the sister in law can't stand it,so she always get into fight with the wife on behalve of brother....cos I don't see any other reason a man will have to allow her sister fight with his wife....the man should just get hold of himselve and demand respect from both wifey and sis.
You no well AT ALL!!!! The house is your wife's house not your sister's. Are you sure you are not having an affair with this your so-called sister??? See your yeye mouth! ...in april, my wife packed out with my kids... You no just well at all!
Its obvious this man is weak,and the wife is always taking him for granted which the sister in law can't stand it,so she always get into fight with the wife on behalve of brother....cos I don't see any other reason a man will have to allow her sister fight with his wife....the man should just get hold of himself and demand respect from both wifey and sis.
the way she is fighting with her bros wife she go hear wen as well when she marr. useless woman and if the man like make ehem go marry ehem sister mscewww woman rapper man nansense
You got married 3 years ago and have 2 kids already??? Look here, let your wife stay away for some time. Maybe like a year or so. Before you knock her up again! And look on the bright side of this advice... your sis may have moved out by then.
You shouldnt call yourself a man if you can allow ur wife leave your house with ur kids bcos of ur sister. You should let ur sister know her place and if she (your sister) really values her future and that job she is hunting so much then she better obey. if not let her go back to owerri and stay there. BE A MAN BRO!
BIA NWOKE EM E DI STUPID; U BETTER SEND THAT PUNK BITCH OF A SISTER PACKING. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA GAIN FROM HER STUPID ASS. IS SHE FUCKING U AND TAKING CARE OF FAMILY MATTERS AT HOME.
LISTEN SOMETIMES SIBLINGS CAN BE VERY SELFISH, WATCH THE DAY SHE GETS MARRIED SHE WILL NOT APPRECIATE SHIT U HAVE DONE FOR HER.
SEND HER OUT SHE CAN FEND FOR HERSELF; SINCE SHE GET MOUTH TO INSULT UR WIFE MAKE SHE USE THAT MOUTH FIND APARTMENT NONSENSE...
HMMMM THE DAY MY HUBBY GO TRY THIS KIND NONSENSE U JUST SENT LINDA TO POST HERE NA THAT DAY EN GO SEE EN MARRY MAD WOMAN COS THAT EN SISTER GO RUN COMOT BEFORE HE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED.....
First of all oga, you must make yor sister understand that the house belongs to you and your wife and not just to you. If she cant learn to live by the rules of the owners of the house then it means she is too old to be controlled and should find her own place. Secondly, get you wife and kids back to your house while temporarily relocating your sister. Tell your wife her relocation is temporary, that your sis will be back home but only for a while, till she finds her feet. You can both set an ultimatum for your sister and if it dsnt work out for her in lagos, then maybe she can find something in Owerri( afterall people make it there), let your wife set the ground rules (with reason). Then have a meeting with your sister, letting her know the rules and her timeline. Before that ultimatum, you will see your sister will find something. If she cant put herself in your wife's shoes and behave, then she should know that her fate is sealed in her own marital home as karma is a bitch!
THOSE WHO ARE ABUSING THE GUY MISS THE POINT.MUTUAL COMPROMISE IS THE KEYWORD HERE.TOMOROW IS PREGNANT.WHO KNOWS IF TOMMORROW, THE SISTER WOULD BE IN THE POSITION TO HELP THE BROTHER'S WIFE AND CHILDREN?YES,THE WOMAN IS CO-OWNER OF THE HOUSE,BUT LET US REMEMBER THAT THE HUSBAND CAME FROM SOMEWHERE. SISTERS AND WIVES ARE EQUALLY IMPORTANT.MUTUAL COMPROMISE,THAT IS THE KEY.\ ANDY
The way I c it ur sista sees your wife as interfering which might not be intentional, while your wife is finding it difficult to assert herself as your wife. Apparently your sister and ur wife are both fighting for your attention. You need to draw a thick line fast. That your sista sef mk she no go see sumtinnnn for her husband house o
Anyway u r still a boy now dat ur wife want u 2 act lyk a man she tuk a drastic measure by movin out which I luv so much & don't eva tink u can go take d children 4rm her, by gone is dos era I even trust ur wife she no stupid reach dat level my advice 4 u is 2 marry ur sista no harm in dat u r not d first neida wil u b d last
Is this guy a learner, all women want their own space. She might be the hot-headed type, but if he rili knew his babe, he would have been preparing for this show down, months ago.
But the problem with a lot of men, is that they never take time to really understand their wives, rather they believe their wives should understand them
I see blackmail from your wife.Few woman will accommodate someone else n her home especially from the Mans.The question is can there always be peacful co-existence amongst we human without little quarrels occassionaly? A Good woman who loves her husband will tolerate people in her home.Men shuld be Wise to spot when a woman is flying the kite to have things done in her favor.Truth is emotions/feelings either positive or negative is difficult to handle,let every Married Man put his Wife in her place likewise relations.If am in his shoes,i will not send my biological sister away for the sake of my wife,on principles.When she is tired,she will return.Afterall,you didnt send her out.Some woman do some crazy things to be in confused control of the Man.Question is when her kids grow and move to other places,will she go with them.Her younger son/daughters,wont they stay with other people?Wisdom is profitable to direct...the principal thing!...use your head Man
You are here asking STUPID QUESTIONSSSSSSSSSSSS and your wife and children are out of the house. Did you just say your siser just finished university? Have you ever called her and warned her against speaking to your wife and the mother of your kids anyhow? is your sister helping to pay the rent? why are you accepting all this rubbish. whoever messes your wife MESSES you up. YOU BE YEYE MAN. If for nothing the fact you nor get family and your children are outside the home. you be yeye man
You are a bloody fool, idiotic and brainless. What has tradition got to do with anything? The home is meant for therm and wife so the sister should respect the dictates if the wife.... This guy obviously treats his wife with less respect for her to move out.... Trust me the average woman will stay and drive her out but the guy has clearly shown who he prefers..... I pity this guy cos if he doesn't go get his wife and let his sister leave they will never let him have a good home and they will continue to rule his life.... I also hope the sister is not a witch or marine agent because we have seen such cases where they want their brother to spend all his resources on them.....may God give h wisdom to take that bold step
When was the last time you read your Bible? For pete's sake, the Holy book says,"a man shall leave his father & mother & shall cleave unto his wife & the two shall become one flesh". It didn't say, a man must cleave to his wife & sister or sister must live with them, so pls grow up. Your sister should go find a roommate to share a house or self contain with till she get job to get a place for herself or make she go back village. Na by force to live for Lagos?
My bf one sibling that's abt 20 will b home my bf ll b doing washing plate etc ... I laff in China ...l when I enter that house I ll teach him some lesson of life ... By 20 I was already taking care of my self n young sibling financiallly n one 20yrs old is doing mummy boy ... No way
guy u be fool o. you should have never let your sister disrespect your wife. if you cant control your sister and tell your wife to be patient then your sister should leave. its not even a question. if she knows she wants to stay in lagos she should know how to control her mouth and respect your wife. if not the village awaits her. although i odubt if your wife would be willing to be patient at this stage. you are not smart at all o. the first time they had a quarrel what you should have done is warn your sister that if it happens again she leaves and beg your wife to be understanding. cause for her to have left the house with the kids she wouldnt hear that again. as for me i pray every day that i dont marry a man who brings his relatives to stay for more than a week cause i know some women infact alot of womendont know how to behave. what they cant take they are willing to give out. thats why no one would ever see or hear me say i want to go and live with my married siblings. although if i ever get to that stage i would learn how to control my mouth with their spouses regardless of my feelings cause i know it is not my house. your sister should learn how to control her mouth. even if its your wife that is the cayse of the issue since itss not your sisters house she should take it without complaining. if it is too much she should pack her things and go. simple
Your sister wants to destroy your home. If she knows she has no where else to go she better shut her trap and start behaving. She needs to go to your parents place till your wife comes home and then she can come and apologize
Your sister wants to destroy your home. If she knows she has no where else to go she better shut her trap and start behaving. She needs to go to your parents place till your wife comes home and then she can come and apologize
You should have insisted from the very first (verbal) argument that your sister had to respect your wife -- regardless of the situation. If the tables were turned (and your brother-in-law is disrespectful), you would expect your sister to tell him to back down.
That is, of course, if he is older than you. Otherwise you would handle him as the elder.
Anyway, I think you need to sit your sister down and have a very frank and open discussion with her. The bottom line is that (1) your sister either respects your wife -- and live by her rules in her home -- or (2) your sister establishes her independence somewhere else.
However, if your wife is the primary instigator and is making your sister's life miserable simply because your sister doesn't have a job or her own place, then you certainly have a problem....
What other options do you have to do for her. Be a nice girl who looks like she is still into you.
Yet unbelievably, there are other things to consider when selecting a Valentines Day gift for your how do you get a girlfriend. The Genie head massager:-All the rage, one of amazons top selling products. Take things easy at first, to see so many Western guys in their lives.
After going through all the above comments,i choose to disagree with so many views. One thing is sure, your wife and sister are important to you. Between you and your wife,am sure you have your misunderstanding from time to time. the same way your sister and wife have misunderstandings too. Therefore, its human nature to quarrel. This you have to acknowledge. In understanding this human nature, it baffles me to hear things like 'chase your sister away and all that'.The truth is chasing any of them away will not bring a permanent solution or peace to you. Instead you will be adding more problems. parents will feel hurt, in laws will feel hurt and you will not be happy. therefore, if you truly need to strike a balance, i will rather you text me or call me on this number: 08033034914. i will need to hear from you what you think is always causing the problem, this will enable me to counsel you, your wife and sister separately so that we can achieve a lasting peace. I am a trained relationship and family coach with vast experience. I will do this for free-as my contribution in bringing a lasting peace to families. awaiting your sms or call. Goodluck
If your wife was involved in physical combat n u didnt send ur sister home then its no wonder she left. Was she to wait until she sustained injuries n died.? Theres nothing like been in a home wtout any extended family. Some ppl do not even have househelps for that reason. Did your fathers sister live wt ur mother all thru? And to all those telling this poor sod to go n get his children, may u have ur children taken from u. When did children bcome chihuahuas that ppl go n collect. When those children grow up n discover d truth then they will hate u. Go and apologize to your wife and come to a joint agreement bout what happens wt ur sister. Chikena
Your priority now is with your family first. Since the situation has gotten this far, there needs to be a physical distance between your wife and sister. Which means your sister needs to go! You are obligated to provide for your wife and your children, not your sister. If you cant afford to rent out an apartment for her, then send her back to your parents and give her what you can afford. She should consider herself lucky that she at least has another option. Beggars cant be choosers! Your sister cant afford "not to want to go back to Owerri". I would not feel comfortable remaining in the house, If I were in your sisters shoes, and my brothers wife and children moved out because of me (no matter what the reasons may be). I mean, don't you miss your wife? Do you dream about your sister when your alone in your room at night? This should not have been a hard decision at all! If they are still interested your wife and sister can initiate a discussion geared towards resolving their problems AFTER your sister moves out.
Your priority now is with your family first. Since the situation has gotten this far, there needs to be a physical distance between your wife and sister. Which means your sister needs to go! You are obligated to provide for your wife and your children, not your sister. If you cant afford to rent out an apartment for her, then send her back to your parents and give her what you can afford. She should consider herself lucky that she at least has another option. Beggars cant be choosers! Your sister cant afford "not to want to go back to Owerri". I would not feel comfortable remaining in the house, If I were in your sisters shoes, and my brothers wife and children moved out because of me (no matter what the reasons may be). I mean, don't you miss your wife? Do you dream about your sister when your alone in your room at night? This should not have been a hard decision at all! If they are still interested your wife and sister can initiate a discussion geared towards resolving their problems AFTER your sister moves out.
If your sister knows what she really wants she just have to mellow and bear whatever she faces till she can fend for her self... She's jst got 2 tolerate your wife and you ought to be a man in the matter, talk to your wife too
Mr for your wife and sister to go as far as fight i blame you 100%. i'm sure you support ur sister to her face and didn't put her in her place when the little quarrels started that is why ur sis had the guts to fight ur wife and i'm sure ur sister does not have any respect for u. Send ur sister to ur mum she needs to get more home training she will need it when she enters a man's house and moreover she doesn't ve a job yet so there is no reason for her to remain in Lagos.
all of you saying make peace between them and don't throw ur sister away who knows tomorrow are saying rubbish make peace btw them for how long? if you want to help ur family members you can do so from afar they don't have to come live with you. send her back to her/ur mum when she gets a job in Lagos she can come back with conditions and prepare to assist her get her own place after 6months.
judging from the Phase' my wife moved in with us' that its self has said it all.. cos how can you say.. the woman of the house moved in with you guys like she is the guest.. smh... mr man get your act together... make your own family priority to you.. you have two small children and a wife, your thinking of how your sister doesnt want to live in owerri.... smh.. so that means you rather your children live without you so that your sister can stay in lagos"straight face" :|.......
Pls settle things with your spouse and let your sister give your family space. You should have made alternative arrangements for her before moving your wife in.
She doesn't respect you or your wife, who should be your priority. I had the same problem when i just wedded and had to pray them out. Men can be very undecided abt setting boundaries and most in-laws use that weakness to their advantage and destroy peace in the home.
464 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 401 – 464 of 464Watch Judge Judy on CBS reality. She is a wise woman, he tells warring parties not to fight their siblings over their wives or husbands. She'd tell you the rate of divorce at present. In her own words, "Your spouse might leave, but your sibling never will. Blood is thicker than water. believe me, I am a smart woman" Before any of you rain down curses on me, I am a married woman and I encourage my husband to have a close relationship with his siblings. They have their faults, so do I. I try to overlook a lot of things jaare.
Inukwa! Like seriously?? Oga, this is 2013, there's no excuse for such ignorance. Try moving in with your sis when married and rub shoulders with her husband...she won't take it lightly with u . what will you tell ur kids 10yrs from now.?! I blame your naive wife for leaving d house. Your sis met a quiet woman..like she won't want to v me as a sis in-law.Truth is1. your mum or your pastor should do your dirty job by calling ur sis to order since u r too soft or lame to do it.
2.Start hooking ur sis up wt ur unmarried friends cos she is feeling frustrated and takes it out on d mother of ur kids.!
3. any insults rained on ur wife is indirectly for u
pls go to ur wife on bended knees if possible wt ur sister!!
2 captains can't be on same boat.Ur sis needs to keep her distance.
All wives married their husbands cos of what he is or has. All sisters do not choose their brothers , all wives choose their husbands. Man, be wise, your sister could save you tomorrow. Tread cautiously on this matter. DO NOT send your sister packing. Ignore both of them, believe me it works! Hehehehehehe!
I wonder why people are so harsh..you do not have to insult the guy..as for my advise, just rent an apartment for your sister and get your wife back
you area big fool. coomon go rent an appartmentfor your sister if u need your wife. didyou not know der will be a querell before you brot in your wife? dont be a learner.
A lot of wives go into marriage with a pre-conceived notion about in-laws. You want to come in and control what you did not sow abi? My wife comes first, YES, but I will not send my sister packing. PERIOD. SMH.
Guy grow some balls men, dis lady wuld marry too pls help her now b4 she bcomes a problem in ur marriage. I pray she gets married soon so she would express married life as well, Amen!
Go to the wife on bended knees? You must be stupid! Who is she? You must be a bad woman. Shut up there!
Some chicks come from broken homes or where their mothers has a bad relationship with their in-law. These chicks then apply it to their own marriages. In-Laws could be a pain in the ass, but pls don't make a man choose.
Go ask your pastor
I know a lady who was kicked out of her bro's house after he got married for no just reason. The wifey felt her husband was so rich that they didn't need anybody. The sis-in-law got a plum job later on and today, is the financial backbone of his brother as his business collapsed. Guy, be careful. Pray! Pray! Pray! for wisdom and guidance.
Fling ur sister out of that house. I cant even believe what i am reading. Men u guys are truly kids. Some decisions are soooo easy
Hello Mr, Ur wife iur immediate family and ur sis, ur extended family/ The Bible says wot God has joined together, let no man put asunder.Your sis is trying to put asunder in ur marriage if u allow her besides, this same bible says a man shall leave sis father and mother and cleave to his wife. You wanted an help meet and God gave you one but u want to throw it away. your sis should to terms with the fact that your wife is ur wife and there is nothing she can do about it. The same respect she gives to you should be accorded to ur wife. Mr, if u don't want to regret ur actions, quickly go and get ur family back.
To start with, your sister is so disrespectful and shameless. She is a graduate, no job yet and doesn't seem to be doing anything, cos if she was, she'll be hardly around to pick up quarrels with your wife. She shouldn't wait to be told before moving out, if she schooled in Lagos and had a good character, she wouldn't have a problem of where to squat when she started having problems with your wife. As for your wife, i pity her, she didn't marry a man that understands what it means to become ''one''. Mr man a part of you and precious gifts are out and you're here seeking dumb advice. Send the ngbeke dat is feeling funky back to the village abeg!
What advice would you give your sister if her husband has the same problem?
A man must leave his father's house to unite with his wife, please send her back to owerri, your status don change, what message are you passing across as a father? Please act the man you are.
My case is somehow similar just that my hubby won't take that thrash: his nephew is like 8 years older than me but trust me when I enter the living room and he sees me he ll hand over the remote controls and others.
He loves his family to death but he makes them believe that if you see my wife you have seen me so please respect.
It's so unfair the way family members try to come in between sometimes.
The horrible thing about this my brother inlaw is that once he knows hubby has money or gets something new he ll go and tell the mum (who is huuby's elder sister) then she ll start demanding for things. God abeg
That's the problem of all these igbos; their 'family' always come first. Thank God I did not marry an Igbo man.
Also, this culture of having a relative stay with a married couple isn't something I suppose.
Rather employ a help than a relative who will be interfering in your affairs.
You have already shown by your reactions that your sister has prior place in your life.
It's either you marry your sister (abomination)or welcome back your wife (she's not the intruder).
Your wife is your new family now, man.
tell ur sister to F*CK OFF!!!
It depends on the husband though; its the way he places his wife in front of his sister:
I'm 26 and have been married for 2 years but trust me if my husband's sisters (who are all older than me by the way) want to visit they ll call me to know if they can come.
Fear no go let them call their brother first oh na me, and he loves them to death but still
my father once slapped two of his junior sisters for being rude to my mum. they haven't stopped being rude but now, every1 knows their boundaries and there's peace. they probably gossip abt her and my dad and us in their circle but they cannot dare to make it open.... and he will always say, "a mans family can only go to the extent that the man permits them to".......... be wise my dear......... by the way, most of them are miserable in their matrimonial home......
Its obvious this man is weak,and the wife is always taking him for granted and the sister in law can't stand it,so she always get into fight with the wife on behalve of brother....cos I don't see any other reason a man will have to allow her sister fight with his wife....the man should just get hold of himselve and demand respect from both wifey and sis.
You no well AT ALL!!!! The house is your wife's house not your sister's. Are you sure you are not having an affair with this your so-called sister??? See your yeye mouth! ...in april, my wife packed out with my kids... You no just well at all!
Its obvious this man is weak,and the wife is always taking him for granted which the sister in law can't stand it,so she always get into fight with the wife on behalve of brother....cos I don't see any other reason a man will have to allow her sister fight with his wife....the man should just get hold of himself and demand respect from both wifey and sis.
the way she is fighting with her bros wife she go hear wen as well when she marr. useless woman and if the man like make ehem go marry ehem sister mscewww woman rapper man nansense
You got married 3 years ago and have 2 kids already??? Look here, let your wife stay away for some time. Maybe like a year or so. Before you knock her up again! And look on the bright side of this advice... your sis may have moved out by then.
You shouldnt call yourself a man if you can allow ur wife leave your house with ur kids bcos of ur sister. You should let ur sister know her place and if she (your sister) really values her future and that job she is hunting so much then she better obey. if not let her go back to owerri and stay there. BE A MAN BRO!
No body ever thinks if d wife is d one dat has beefs with d sister,some women do hv them!
BIA NWOKE EM E DI STUPID; U BETTER SEND THAT PUNK BITCH OF A SISTER PACKING. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA GAIN FROM HER STUPID ASS. IS SHE FUCKING U AND TAKING CARE OF FAMILY MATTERS AT HOME.
LISTEN SOMETIMES SIBLINGS CAN BE VERY SELFISH, WATCH THE DAY SHE GETS MARRIED SHE WILL NOT APPRECIATE SHIT U HAVE DONE FOR HER.
SEND HER OUT SHE CAN FEND FOR HERSELF; SINCE SHE GET MOUTH TO INSULT UR WIFE MAKE SHE USE THAT MOUTH FIND APARTMENT NONSENSE...
HMMMM THE DAY MY HUBBY GO TRY THIS KIND NONSENSE U JUST SENT LINDA TO POST HERE NA THAT DAY EN GO SEE EN MARRY MAD WOMAN COS THAT EN SISTER GO RUN COMOT BEFORE HE KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED.....
PLS LET UR SISTA GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HABA SINCE THE DAY OF UR WEDDING UR WIFE HAS REALLY TRIED
First of all oga, you must make yor sister understand that the house belongs to you and your wife and not just to you. If she cant learn to live by the rules of the owners of the house then it means she is too old to be controlled and should find her own place. Secondly, get you wife and kids back to your house while temporarily relocating your sister. Tell your wife her relocation is temporary, that your sis will be back home but only for a while, till she finds her feet. You can both set an ultimatum for your sister and if it dsnt work out for her in lagos, then maybe she can find something in Owerri( afterall people make it there), let your wife set the ground rules (with reason). Then have a meeting with your sister, letting her know the rules and her timeline. Before that ultimatum, you will see your sister will find something. If she cant put herself in your wife's shoes and behave, then she should know that her fate is sealed in her own marital home as karma is a bitch!
THOSE WHO ARE ABUSING THE GUY MISS THE POINT.MUTUAL COMPROMISE IS THE KEYWORD HERE.TOMOROW IS PREGNANT.WHO KNOWS IF TOMMORROW, THE SISTER WOULD BE IN THE POSITION TO HELP THE BROTHER'S WIFE AND CHILDREN?YES,THE WOMAN IS CO-OWNER OF THE HOUSE,BUT LET US REMEMBER THAT THE HUSBAND CAME FROM SOMEWHERE. SISTERS AND WIVES ARE EQUALLY IMPORTANT.MUTUAL COMPROMISE,THAT IS THE KEY.\
ANDY
The way I c it ur sista sees your wife as interfering which might not be intentional, while your wife is finding it difficult to assert herself as your wife. Apparently your sister and ur wife are both fighting for your attention. You need to draw a thick line fast. That your sista sef mk she no go see sumtinnnn for her husband house o
u must be a learner!!!
Anyway u r still a boy now dat ur wife want u 2 act lyk a man she tuk a drastic measure by movin out which I luv so much & don't eva tink u can go take d children 4rm her, by gone is dos era I even trust ur wife she no stupid reach dat level my advice 4 u is 2 marry ur sista no harm in dat u r not d first neida wil u b d last
This dude is obviously fuvking his dister. End of story....
Is this guy a learner, all women want their own space. She might be the hot-headed type, but if he rili knew his babe, he would have been preparing for this show down, months ago.
But the problem with a lot of men, is that they never take time to really understand their wives, rather they believe their wives should understand them
Wife first, kids second, relatives third...if you dont want peace then do it backwards
I see blackmail from your wife.Few woman will accommodate someone else n her home especially from the Mans.The question is can there always be peacful co-existence amongst we human without little quarrels occassionaly?
A Good woman who loves her husband will tolerate people in her home.Men shuld be Wise to spot when a woman is flying the kite to have things done in her favor.Truth is emotions/feelings either positive or negative is difficult to handle,let every Married Man put his Wife in her place likewise relations.If am in his shoes,i will not send my biological sister away for the sake of my wife,on principles.When she is tired,she will return.Afterall,you didnt send her out.Some woman do some crazy things to be in confused control of the Man.Question is when her kids grow and move to other places,will she go with them.Her younger son/daughters,wont they stay with other people?Wisdom is profitable to direct...the principal thing!...use your head Man
Oga, you're a real dum-dum. Your wife and kids should be your priority! Even your mother shouldn't come first.
abeg park well jo.
-bigk
You are here asking STUPID QUESTIONSSSSSSSSSSSS and your wife and children are out of the house. Did you just say your siser just finished university? Have you ever called her and warned her against speaking to your wife and the mother of your kids anyhow? is your sister helping to pay the rent? why are you accepting all this rubbish. whoever messes your wife MESSES you up. YOU BE YEYE MAN. If for nothing the fact you nor get family and your children are outside the home. you be yeye man
Shut up fool
You are a bloody fool, idiotic and brainless. What has tradition got to do with anything? The home is meant for therm and wife so the sister should respect the dictates if the wife.... This guy obviously treats his wife with less respect for her to move out.... Trust me the average woman will stay and drive her out but the guy has clearly shown who he prefers..... I pity this guy cos if he doesn't go get his wife and let his sister leave they will never let him have a good home and they will continue to rule his life.... I also hope the sister is not a witch or marine agent because we have seen such cases where they want their brother to spend all his resources on them.....may God give h wisdom to take that bold step
Ur 3next of kin outside ur home ...
When was the last time you read your Bible? For pete's sake, the Holy book says,"a man shall leave his father & mother & shall cleave unto his wife & the two shall become one flesh". It didn't say, a man must cleave to his wife & sister or sister must live with them, so pls grow up. Your sister should go find a roommate to share a house or self contain with till she get job to get a place for herself or make she go back village. Na by force to live for Lagos?
My bf one sibling that's abt 20 will b home my bf ll b doing washing plate etc ... I laff in China ...l when I enter that house I ll teach him some lesson of life ... By 20 I was already taking care of my self n young sibling financiallly n one 20yrs old is doing mummy boy ... No way
guy u be fool o. you should have never let your sister disrespect your wife. if you cant control your sister and tell your wife to be patient then your sister should leave. its not even a question. if she knows she wants to stay in lagos she should know how to control her mouth and respect your wife. if not the village awaits her. although i odubt if your wife would be willing to be patient at this stage. you are not smart at all o. the first time they had a quarrel what you should have done is warn your sister that if it happens again she leaves and beg your wife to be understanding. cause for her to have left the house with the kids she wouldnt hear that again. as for me i pray every day that i dont marry a man who brings his relatives to stay for more than a week cause i know some women infact alot of womendont know how to behave. what they cant take they are willing to give out. thats why no one would ever see or hear me say i want to go and live with my married siblings. although if i ever get to that stage i would learn how to control my mouth with their spouses regardless of my feelings cause i know it is not my house. your sister should learn how to control her mouth. even if its your wife that is the cayse of the issue since itss not your sisters house she should take it without complaining. if it is too much she should pack her things and go. simple
Your sister wants to destroy your home. If she knows she has no where else to go she better shut her trap and start behaving. She needs to go to your parents place till your wife comes home and then she can come and apologize
Your sister wants to destroy your home. If she knows she has no where else to go she better shut her trap and start behaving. She needs to go to your parents place till your wife comes home and then she can come and apologize
You should have insisted from the very first (verbal) argument that your sister had to respect your wife -- regardless of the situation. If the tables were turned (and your brother-in-law is disrespectful), you would expect your sister to tell him to back down.
That is, of course, if he is older than you. Otherwise you would handle him as the elder.
Anyway, I think you need to sit your sister down and have a very frank and open discussion with her. The bottom line is that (1) your sister either respects your wife -- and live by her rules in her home -- or (2) your sister establishes her independence somewhere else.
However, if your wife is the primary instigator and is making your sister's life miserable simply because your sister doesn't have a job or her own place, then you certainly have a problem....
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After going through all the above comments,i choose to disagree with so many views. One thing is sure, your wife and sister are important to you. Between you and your wife,am sure you have your misunderstanding from time to time. the same way your sister and wife have misunderstandings too. Therefore, its human nature to quarrel. This you have to acknowledge. In understanding this human nature, it baffles me to hear things like 'chase your sister away and all that'.The truth is chasing any of them away will not bring a permanent solution or peace to you. Instead you will be adding more problems. parents will feel hurt, in laws will feel hurt and you will not be happy. therefore, if you truly need to strike a balance, i will rather you text me or call me on this number: 08033034914. i will need to hear from you what you think is always causing the problem, this will enable me to counsel you, your wife and sister separately so that we can achieve a lasting peace. I am a trained relationship and family coach with vast experience. I will do this for free-as my contribution in bringing a lasting peace to families. awaiting your sms or call. Goodluck
If your wife was involved in physical combat n u didnt send ur sister home then its no wonder she left. Was she to wait until she sustained injuries n died.? Theres nothing like been in a home wtout any extended family. Some ppl do not even have househelps for that reason. Did your fathers sister live wt ur mother all thru? And to all those telling this poor sod to go n get his children, may u have ur children taken from u. When did children bcome chihuahuas that ppl go n collect. When those children grow up n discover d truth then they will hate u. Go and apologize to your wife and come to a joint agreement bout what happens wt ur sister.
Chikena
Your priority now is with your family first. Since the situation has gotten this far, there needs to be a physical distance between your wife and sister. Which means your sister needs to go! You are obligated to provide for your wife and your children, not your sister. If you cant afford to rent out an apartment for her, then send her back to your parents and give her what you can afford. She should consider herself lucky that she at least has another option. Beggars cant be choosers! Your sister cant afford "not to want to go back to Owerri".
I would not feel comfortable remaining in the house, If I were in your sisters shoes, and my brothers wife and children moved out because of me (no matter what the reasons may be). I mean, don't you miss your wife? Do you dream about your sister when your alone in your room at night? This should not have been a hard decision at all! If they are still interested your wife and sister can initiate a discussion geared towards resolving their problems AFTER your sister moves out.
Your priority now is with your family first. Since the situation has gotten this far, there needs to be a physical distance between your wife and sister. Which means your sister needs to go! You are obligated to provide for your wife and your children, not your sister. If you cant afford to rent out an apartment for her, then send her back to your parents and give her what you can afford. She should consider herself lucky that she at least has another option. Beggars cant be choosers! Your sister cant afford "not to want to go back to Owerri".
I would not feel comfortable remaining in the house, If I were in your sisters shoes, and my brothers wife and children moved out because of me (no matter what the reasons may be). I mean, don't you miss your wife? Do you dream about your sister when your alone in your room at night? This should not have been a hard decision at all! If they are still interested your wife and sister can initiate a discussion geared towards resolving their problems AFTER your sister moves out.
If your sister knows what she really wants she just have to mellow and bear whatever she faces till she can fend for her self... She's jst got 2 tolerate your wife and you ought to be a man in the matter, talk to your wife too
Mr for your wife and sister to go as far as fight i blame you 100%. i'm sure you support ur sister to her face and didn't put her in her place when the little quarrels started that is why ur sis had the guts to fight ur wife and i'm sure ur sister does not have any respect for u. Send ur sister to ur mum she needs to get more home training she will need it when she enters a man's house and moreover she doesn't ve a job yet so there is no reason for her to remain in Lagos.
all of you saying make peace between them and don't throw ur sister away who knows tomorrow are saying rubbish make peace btw them for how long? if you want to help ur family members you can do so from afar they don't have to come live with you. send her back to her/ur mum when she gets a job in Lagos she can come back with conditions and prepare to assist her get her own place after 6months.
Rent an apartment for ur sister, she has to go.
Man the f*** up!
judging from the Phase' my wife moved in with us' that its self has said it all.. cos how can you say.. the woman of the house moved in with you guys like she is the guest.. smh... mr man get your act together... make your own family priority to you.. you have two small children and a wife, your thinking of how your sister doesnt want to live in owerri.... smh.. so that means you rather your children live without you so that your sister can stay in lagos"straight face" :|.......
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Pls settle things with your spouse and let your sister give your family space. You should have made alternative arrangements for her before moving your wife in.
She doesn't respect you or your wife, who should be your priority. I had the same problem when i just wedded and had to pray them out. Men can be very undecided abt setting boundaries and most in-laws use that weakness to their advantage and destroy peace in the home.
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