My wife does not trust me a bit even though I trust her to a fault. She thinks I cheat on her. It gets me very upset and each time I get upset on the issue, she says its because I actually cheat. I am fed up. Please advise on what to do
Tuesday, 4 December 2012
Dear LIB Readers: My wife thinks I'm cheating!
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119 comments:
Has she ever caught u b4,if she has den dats d reason she has her reservations about you.but if she hasn't den she has a problem.u need to sit her down and talk sense into her.....AMS
why doesnt she trust him?...he has not finished his story abeg......
Hehehehe she's just tired
Start d Cheating den she can now actually learn nd be happy!!!!we women r d ones dat push our men 2 d extreme atimes....smh
If she continues distrusting her man, then I'm afraid there'll be more problems.
A relationship without trust is like having a phone with no service; & what do you do with a phone with no service? You play games...
So u guys had better watch it, before ur marriage turns into one huge game/tournament or joke.
People & their trust issues sha.
if you're doing the time you might as well do the crime, so CHEAT
If you really don't cheat, then,
1. stop getting upset.
2. Stop giving her reasons to be suspicious.
Sit her down n tell her why u can't cheat on her.
Bros, make u no run. just prove 2 her u're not cheating on her or u kuku let her no say u want to marry 2 wives
The big question is WHY IS SHE SUSPECTING YOU? Retrace bro...
really if you are not cheating or cheated on her, she is cheating or just ended an affair and feeling guilty.
See your orobo belle...I believe her jor
*Linda. She's cheating and youre too slow to catcher her. In case you catch her, you did it first is going to be her explanation.
Cheat and let it be obvious,and you'll get your answer. Then end the relationship.
Probably she must have been seeing signs of u cheating..u knw some ladies are really good @investigating issues..or maybe she's tired of d relationship.nw she's looking for a flimsy excuse to hold on to...try convincing her or sometin!
She's probably the one doing d cheating n she's just projecting.I'd a male friend once whose wife used to call his cellphone d minute he stepped out of d house to ask where he was and who he was with.He thought she loved him so much n was scared of losing him only to find out d reason she called so much was to be sure he was far from home so she cld entertain her lovers in their matrimonial home.
Ur giving her reasons to suspect u.
Oga clear every air of doubts around you that makes her suspect you. Allow her to pick ur calls and go tru ur phones. Take her out always when u r going out even on business meetings. Answer all ur calls before her and in a language she understands pls, gladly introduce her to ur frnds and colleauges, do this over and over and over again till u clear her doubts if u really love her. So that by the time she has seen you in and out of the house, then she will know that you are not cheating. But you can't keep her somewhere while u go somewhere else.
Your wife doesnt trust herself.. She might be cheating and just using reverse psychology on you my dawg. Start suspecting and accusing her aswell.. Dont take my advice
Ok I'm just like her so listen to what I'll want my husband to do: sit down wit her and ask her exactly what she wants, she'l tell u and plsssss do exactly dat and I promise u she'll love u more each day. Kno its not her fault, she must hav gon tru a lot in d past. In additn, u can reduce d way u talk to ur female friends nd cut uf completely from exes, no matter what never stare at oda women, don't have any secret friends: she should kno all of them. Leav ur phones around her when ure in d bathroom or anywhere in d house. #thankMeLater
A. Woman wouldn't just assume her man is cheating, 99% of the time the man gives her a reason to think he's cheating... The man isn't telling the whole story, maybe he has cheated on her before and she found out, maybe he flirts with women often, maybe he keeps in touch with his exs and she isn't comfortable because as a man I know nothing good can come from being in contact with your exs because they will still want something @ the end of the day.. I am speaking from experience here, so I cut all my exs out and face my fiance alone! Its really up to us men to make our women secure and cheating because she's insecure/paranoid is the worst solution, you will surely live to regret it spiritually/mentally and physically... Sort out your relationship as the man/leader!
An psychologist friend once told me if your wife suspects you of cheating that's cos she's capable of it and is therefore insecure.
If u trully don't cheat then you must be doing one or of these things:
U keep late outside
U have a lot of female friends
U keep your phones and your things to yourself
U don't compliment your wife frequently
Actions speak louder than words, you don't need to keep defending yourself with words because talk is cheap, even a serial cheat can say I don't cheat. You can start by being lax with your phone when she is around, let her feel free to have ur yahoo, facebook or any social network password. By doing these things and much more you are not only showing her you want to be transparent with her but you are building back the trust and believe me before long she would stop thinking you are a cheat.
The talker has written.
Maybe she needs to come plain and give you her reasons.......... Cus it would be baseless to just think and merely think your Man cheats on you without a reason!
Yeancah Blingz say so!!!!!! GBAM
Shez probably cheating herself and just trying to cover her tracks. Bro, start monitoring her!
Something must be responsible for her acting that way, so try to deal with the problem from the root cause, give her a free hand to clear her doubts about you and stop trippin' when she starts suspecting you, act cool because you don't have anything to hide, and finally try as much as possible to eliminate all avenues that rises her suspicion about you.
DONT EVER CHEAT! EVERYONE here advising him to cheat are all animals...u do not live gud and responsible lives. Man, let ur woman knw u love her more and giv he all d attention she nids frm u..im sure she'll trust in u more.
If she doesn't trust you, it's either because she has caught you without knowing about it or she's generalising guys unfaithfulness and including you in it. ℓ̊ dunno what to say. But work it out.
I m tired of this joor..it has become boring..kill yourself and maybe her..please Lib readers which shoe should I wear today the black one or the pink one..nonsense
You must have give her the ground to suspect you either through your actions and inactions.
Stop giving her the wrong signal.
Talk to her, assure and reassure her of your love and faithfulness.
She is this way because she loves you so please work on your marriage.
Cheat and maker happy then
WORD!
Trust is an essential ingredient for a succesful relationship, I suggest u ask her to point out facts to buttress her accusation. Plz don't start cheating,if sincerely u aint doing dat.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310
him neva talk true,by dia moves we shal kw dem.he should amend his ways
May be she is seeing a lady with U dat she doesn't like, or somebody is tellin her rumour abt U, d advice I can give is dat, sit her down n talk to her without a fight, ask her wat she wants u to do for her by doin dis U will be able to know her real problem,
Eya best advice so far. Or maybe she is d 1 getting some on d site. Just a diff form of defence. Fix tins please and dont let it get worst.
If ur sure u aint cheating on her..den look deeper...sh may be cheating on u..nd d guilt is keeping her suspicious! Or...maybe its cozo ur attitude or smn....anyways, make it ryt b4 it all goes wrong..
Cara_milano!
Hahahahaha! Nice one!
If you can tap your chest and say you are cheating, then relax guy. But it is simple. Your wife is cheating on you guy!!! It is simply reverse psychology. Accuse her she is the one cheating and see her reaction. Trust me, u will be shocked.
Incomplete story
Look closely poster, she just might be the one cheating...
The only sensible response so far. Some of u r really stupid. Maybe she's actually afraid of him cheating on her&doesnt know how to deal with her insecurity coz he obviously means too much to her, maybe she can't forgive/forget if he does it. There's r many reasons that's y he should sit her down and talk it out passionately. I used to accuse my bf aLl the time& I have never caught him till date o( I even feel stupid after it) its not coz I totally distrust him its coz of some of his sneaky ways. So u guys should stop the rubbish talk of doing d crime
Talk to her bro..
You have obviously given her reasons to believe that you cheat, what I see here is an excuse to cheat so you can actually blame your wife by saying "you made me cheat cos you did not trust me"...
Start cheatin.afterall she thinks u r cheatin already,wether u do it or not it doesn't make any difference...so why not do it?
A woman does not just distrust u without a reason,think about d things u do or say dt must ve contributed to her action. Perhaps wen u ve a little cruel, u go abt calling babes in her presence so she doesn't feel too important or u ve a password for ur phones and laptop that u are seriously hiding from her.. She'll find hard trusting u if all dse continue... Talk to her and let her know how u feel abt everything and ur stand.. She'll respect u for dt.
If truly you don't cheat, you don't need get upset. Check and criticise yourself very well. Maybe you're taking action that's making her to be suspicious of you. Sit her down and have a good communication with her esp the signs she is observing to believe that. Develop sincere trust with her and try to listen to her advice. Some women have better advice and knowledge than you. Bury those men egoist attitude. Want to have a flat belly, burn fat, maintain your shape with fitness. Visit this web address www.bitly.com/fitnessandweightlossreport
If you are not cheating before and she doesn't trust you, then, start to cheat, you will have your peace and satisfy your conscience . start the cheating joor loju paali.
Think of what u do or say that could make her distrust u, a woman does not decide to distrust her hubby for no reason. Perhaps wen u ve a little cruel, u go abt calling babes so she doesn't feel to important or u ve passwords for ur phones and laptop that u are seriously hiding from... If u really do no cheat, sit her down and patiently tell her ur stand and how u feel abt d whole thing, she'll respect u for dt...
Please ignore her once u know u r saying the truth,its because u pay attention to her. Be urself abeg no body deserves to be unhappy.
Dazzling.
If you are not cheating on her then stop acting like you are cheating. It is possible you are not cheating but the way you interact with your female friends makes her uncomfortable especially if she doesn't know those female friends of yours. Don't get fed up just make her trust you by doing things right and not cunning
She's not crazy,she must have noticed something or u made some moves dat wasn't pure. Come out clean,talk things over with her. It will take time but she'll get over it. Try and be friends with her also.
May be she is cheating too
perhaps she's scared of u cheatin on her nd also, she's scared of loosin or u ar givin her a wrong sign, like ar u hiding ur fone from her, do u recieve ur cals secretly?...al u av to do is to reassure of ur love nd commitment, to win back her trust... al d best...
Exactly this happened btw myself & hubby last week. I used to trust him 100%, but now I see a particular girl no on his received & dialled calls. She's his account officer, but men d calls & txt r getting out of hand. She text him good morning & good night, calls aall d time. So me I charged & confronted my hubby he denied it. But I don shine eye & I'm watching.
Exactly this happened btw myself & hubby last week. I used to trust him 100%, but now I see a particular girl no on his received & dialled calls. She's his account officer, but men d calls & txt r getting out of hand. She text him good morning & good night, calls aall d time. So me I charged & confronted my hubby he denied it. But I don shine eye & I'm watching.
Exactly this happened btw myself & hubby last week. I used to trust him 100%, but now I see a particular girl no on his received & dialled calls. She's his account officer, but men d calls & txt r getting out of hand. She text him good morning & good night, calls aall d time. So me I charged & confronted my hubby he denied it. But I don shine eye & I'm watching.
Y nt try some of ur sexy move dat she likes. Mke her happy nd den u tell her dat u re nt cheating nd d reasons y u can't cheat on her. Wish u d best
Exactly this happened btw myself & hubby last week. I used to trust him 100%, but now I see a particular girl no on his received & dialled calls. She's his account officer, but men d calls & txt r getting out of hand. She text him good morning & good night, calls aall d time. So me I charged & confronted my hubby he denied it. But I don shine eye & I'm watching.
shes the one cheating on her husband,i mean is it so hard to see???
U don't need to cheat bcus she suspects u are....all u have 2 do is sit her down and talk to her! There are certainly sum steps/ actions u've taken that has made her suspicious of u
Same here, I don't. Truths my hubby too, which I can trust him for a bit, bcos he has given me enough reason not to trust him. Which I could look over it. But can't.
Every relationship is meant to be based on trust but if ur wife keeps insisting that u are a cheat, trust me dude, she's done some detective job n and caught u without u knowing it.
I think u both need a long talk and sort out this issue. am afraid a relationship without trust is as good as no relationship.
if you are very very very very sure you are have not cheated or cheating on her.then she has what is has delusional jealousy, she is just deluded and should be worked on by a psychologist. trust me she will be ok.
Bloglord is so on point. I dont trust my hubby a 100% and i always tell hin so. Reason is because i have d password to his fone nd so get to see his chats wit a particular gal. I dont want to come out and say i hv his password so i see who he chats wit cos dat will spoil my detective moves :) but i always let him knw it's goin to be really difficult for him to regain my trust again.
Trust is a vital tool in relationship,guess d man dey cut shows n d wifey is suspicious MRS SEXYPRESSY BONARIO WIFEY
No mind d man!
What are ur antecedents Mr man?and even if u have changed,u have to make the woman 'believe'!!
U said it all
Gog bless u
Seriously...if she has no evidence against you...hmmm' then ¶ fink you should watch closely she could be cheating
True!
MR, give us the full story so we can know were to base our judgment
I so agree wiv u Sandy baby, we tend to push our men to edge n we end up loosing them, cos starts avin such ideas, she let's it take hold of her n den she starts acting funny in d house n wen d guy sees dat she's completely out of control he gets tired too. Dat is wr we ladies use our own hands to destroy wat we build wiv same hands. Don't take rubbish frm ur man buh @ d same time wisdom is wat u need, wisdom repairs wat has already be destroyed wen u knw how to use it.
Yep! Same thing I think! I think she's cheating and feeling guilty, hence insecurities, I could be wrong though.
Shut up! Go and give him cheating lessings.
The wife is not mad. If she didn't see something suspicious, she won't be accusing him of cheating.
Some men flirt, engage in erotic chats on the phone and are generally dodgy, then turn round to feign surprise at being suspected of cheating.
from ur lib reader! CONFUSED VIRGIN
Pls guys am really confused.am a 26 years old virgin.dated my boyfriend for 3 years.but there was a time we were far from each other for like 6 months.met a guy and we got really close.and it graduated to kissing(which happened partly cos i was lonely),so one day we took it too far and he tried penetrating but had difficulty doing so,and it was really hurting.so i came to my senses and pushed him away.since then i felt very bad and put an end to our romance.was glad that i didnt see any bleeding.i dont really know if my hymen is broken.i know he wont forgive me if he finds out am not a virgin.and no linda,dont suggest the product where one can get artificial hymen.i jst need answers so that i will know whether am still a virgin or not.thanks
Bro, unfortunately your wife is a control freak. She's using trust issue to control you, believe me. Even Jesus won't convinced her otherwise, she's fronting, playing mind game. If not that then she's tire of you or cheating or about to with a guy she finds attractive.
Guys be mindful of the women you propose to, lots of loonies out there.
There is gotta b a reason y she feels dat way....!!! its either she has seen sumtin and decides to keep it al 2 herself or she is actually d one cheating on u.
Yawning. ..stop cheating dude!
When a lady feels a certain way, it's because she smells a rat. Answer the following questions:
1. ARE the type to be nice to every woman you meet? Typical innocent Casanova traits. Leading women on without intentionally leading them on?
2. do you password all your phones such that even when she wants to make a quick call you give her only one phone to use?
3. Do you act all shifty and suspicious around her?
If you do YOU ARE GUILTY AS CHARGED. I dated your type. He would deny vehemently that he was not cheating BUT he was known as the executive house boy and driver especially to allllll the new girls in his office. When word got to me, and i asked he would deny, in his words: I am NOT sleeping with them i am just trying to be KIND. KIND? Did God send you to be KIND to allllllll women you meet? kIND AND YOU ARE GOING ON LUNCH DATES, KIND and they are sleeping in your house. NID I ADD HERE THAT, I kicked his so called KIND 2 faced lieing cheating ass to the curb and even though it hurts cause i really loved him i had to move on. My guy search your heart and adjust. Women pick up these cheating vibes when are still thinking about it and we start to WARN you guys but you never listen until you fall then you blame the devil.
guys be realistic, when it come to cheating I respect women instinct. she just want you to be careful and not cause the family pains.
LMFAO!...where d black one abeg...Pink is gay!...lol..
The first to advice has the sense good of you. I think you have married.
Shagari
There must be a reason she doesnt trust you.
I think she is like that because she has something to hide. Either she is cheating herself, or did in the past or dated married men when 'single'.
Bloglord i respect you for your words and advise. That is divine wisdom talking. A relationship without a trust is as good as no relationship at all. My dear, you need to scrutinize your self very well. If you have cheated on her, then you wil really have to work hard, and you cant win her back unless you geniuely repented and ask God to help you win her back. Then if you have not cheated on her, you must look into this and know the ones you are guilty of, then stop them at once. 1. You dont make your marriage your no1. Priority. 2. You have stpped initiating affections like: kissing, hugging 3.you keep late nights. 4.you interact a lot with female folks or with a lady, she calls, text you, ping you, and most times you do. 5.you have started visiting dating sites. Some women dont really like it when their spouse are on these sites. 6. You have started hiding things for her. 7. Now this is too funny to be true but is true. You may introduced new style in your sexual activity which she may be suspecting that the other woman thought you, you may have started drinking, you may started telling her the body shape you think she should have, you might i have been seeing "Oh! Omosexy is beautiful, tonto dike is so sweet, juliet ibrahim has a good skin, nadia buhari is beautiful, anytime both of you are watching films that one of these ladies act. Check yourself very well
Just start cheating.
Period!
Of all d gists here, I totally support Mimi baby. No long thing joor, d man de make moves chikena!
The story is surely incomplete.No woman will start watching out and suspecting her man out of the blues.Tings trigger the suspicion.If you have broken her trust in the past,regaining it may be extremely difficult,most especially if you are still displaying tendencies that indicates you are still doing underG moves.Why will a man be passwording all his phones? What is he hiding.Why will a man be going to places that he cannot disclose to his wife,just mentioning the area and saying,i want to go and see someone?Who is someone? Once a man is discreet over seemingly inconsequential things,he will be prone to suspicion.
To gain the complete trust of your patner,you have to be 100% OPEN with her.
Constantly reassure her of your love and sincerity,do not hide anything from her,over time,you will regain her trust,once you are sincere.
For as long as you continue to hide things,she will always suspect you,believing, that all your secrecy is because you have things to hide.
Some men find it difficult drawing the line in their relationships with other ladies and as such,they make their wives suspect them.It is not out of place to have a few friends but when obsession sets in,the man starts exchanging calls a copuple of times a day with oter females,your hands are always hyperactive on Your BB at home,when you are supposed to be relaxing with your patner,she will surely suspect you.
No woman wants anyone to share her husbands attention with her.
Mr Man,control yourself ,set boundaries in your relationships with other females,shower your wife with attention and affection and she will be comfortable with you.
Just cheat then...
The lady is the one cheating on the guy..simple
thee must be a reason she doesnt trust him. i didnt trust my boyf for over a year just because i knew how he was before we got together.. after i just learned to trust him cause since we were together he never gave me a reason not to.
Buh do u ave to tell sm1 to shut up, am sure u can actually be like dat, ur reaction to dis shows dat already.
well said, cos i cant imagine my husb. Telling me he is not cheating wen both msgs and contact are on lock code. Wot do u expect me to think. Actually he is cheating. Besides dis story is incomplete
I think the woman is just looking for an excuse to go and cheat, I bet some guy is pressuring her and she's looking for excuse to justify it cheating my x did it before
May be she is cheating?????
Sorry to say this...You said you trust her but-Shes the one who most likely is cheating. It takes one to know one!I never cheated on my husband of 15 years before and i trusted him completely and he me- until one day when I started cheating on him. Then I started suspecting him.I stopped the illicit affair-it wasnt worth it-I had too much to lose-most especially my kids.He never found out and still trusts me but So sorry to say this,but maybe shes cheating on you too!
Well said! When a woman suspects her man of cheating, the man needs to start laying it bare for the woman. Don't hide anything, be open about all your transactions as in friends, colleagues and all. When you are completely plain and open with her she won't suspect you. Maybe you are the type that guards your phone, let her pick your calls don't guard your phone especially as you are married the two has become one. Give her reason not to doubt you and you'll be fine. I pray you both find that love and trust you once shared IJN. Nothing will destroy your home and please don't listen to people telling you that you should cheat or that if she doesn't trust you it's her problem. No, please those words can destroy your home!
Then cheat and rest the case. So when you're called a cheat you don't need to worry
LOL, notice how the guy never say whether he cheats or not. Abeg.
u guys cheat alot thats the truth.
I don't believe those who r saying she may be cheating on u. The woman is seriously in love with u n this is making her to behave that way but u should try on ur own part to proved to her that she is the only woman for u. Women who cheat don't even bother about their paternal
I don't believe those who r saying she may be cheating on u. The woman is seriously in love with u n this is making her to behave that way but u should try on ur own part to proved to her that she is the only woman for u. Women who cheat don't even bother about their paternal
What'S a relationsHip wIthout trusT = S.H.I.T
90% of relationships nowadays thrives on a whole lotta S.H.I.T.
Bro be gud, that's all I can say.
First, trust in marriage is built over time and you may have don't somehting knowingly or unknowing or even innocently that may have triggered the suspicion.
Also, it could be your wife's mindset that every man cheats on his spouse. But if trully you don't cheat your wife, then you need not worry so much about her accusation. After all it is said that free conscience fears not accusation. ALl you need to do is to built her trust over time by not doing things directly or indirect that might endanger trust. This requires action and not words
It's called double jeopardy, since you have been indicted of the crime you didn't commit, go ahead and commit it already. In other news, she will eventually make him cheat but if you love being faithful then stick to being faithful and make her actually think you are cheating. Ignore her foolish rantings and she will think twice before she talks I think she just likes the fact that you keep indulging her and she likes the drama.
But you do realises you are just being insecure just like the lady in quote? You feel stupid after words but you still accuse him without evidence and you think he won't get fed up and eventually cheat? Ok continue and be feeling wise with yourself.
But truth be told some men can like to make A girl think their cheating k used to date one sha. Anyways ryt now I assume all men are cheats and I refuse to bother myself with whether they are cheating or not if they aren't sha that one dey. I just can't expect much from any man ryt now and yes I hv made up my mind to assume all of them are cheats and i'm sticking to it as far as they aren't doing it in fron of me it's ok but of course I can't let them know the way I think so they don't think it is acceptable for them to cheats sha. As for me I just can't be bothered anymore.
Choi only me gbagaun like this? Kai.realise and afterwards please oh.
That will be the day and trust me for the fact he does all these and more makes him more susceptible to cheating. I have cheated on few bf's in the past and trust Me, these were my mode of operation. My bfs always have access to my phone and they can never find anything that suggests that I cheat. A certain ex even knew my partner and used to come pick me up after the act and never even suspected I had anything with that sombori. So this your theory only makes a smooth cheat.
Truth is, he may not be cheating but due to past hurts and also baggages she carried into the relationship, she just believes he is cheating and truth is unless she choses to drop that baggages and fears that when her man is not around her that he is cheating. Or maybe she is just depressed and Unacomplished and thus has only her marriage to show for herself or she is just plain paranoid. What you don't see or know most times can't kill you. As far as i'm concerned, I hv male friends I like talking to and I like looking at fine boys so telling a man not to hv a friend that is a she or not look at fine girls is plain madness. I can be jealously possessive in a relationship but men this ya wife is taking it too far.
@kemke na wa oooo
Kemke, you harsh o!!
English! Choi!
Lol. Men cheat. The woman will learn to deal with it or it will deal with her. Until she does, I recommend sleeping pills in his evening meals and purging pills in his daytime meals. Let me see how the bogee will find time to sleep with multiple women in between toilet trips and pillow hugging nights.
Ask her WHY she thinks you are cheating. Something about you must have changed to set her alarm bells off.
- Is it your schedule? (keeping odd/strange hours)
- Is it your how you dress?
- Drinking more/less than usual?
- Has your sex life changed?
If it's something you can change, then work on it. If not, instead of getting angry that she thinks that way about you, RE-ASSURE her. Perhaps she is insecure. Some women are like that. Just keep re-assuring her until she can accept the truth -- that you love her (only her) and will always be faithful to her.
***Lush
Visit spy shop if get some doe!
I laf......cos u don't no nothing nd it's not a very smart move.
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