Dear LIB readers: My 8 year old son is too sexually aware
From a LIB reader
I really need some advice. My 8 year old boy is too sexually aware. In the last few months I've noticed him touching himself, rubbing himself against anything he can find, and doing things that I'm too ashamed to type here even though I am anonymous. He is touching his younger sister in ways that are not brotherly. He's fixated with breasts and grabs any he sees. He also forcefully tries to kiss people, both male and female. I've smacked him several times but it hasn't stopped the behaviour. Just last week, his teacher told me he was caught kissing a classmate. I understand children are curious but I have no idea where he learnt all these. He has never seen that kind of behaviour in my house. I monitor what he watches on TV and I have never allowed him on the internet. My husband thinks he should be punished for his behaviour but what kind of punishment? Should I lock him up in his room till he's grown? I am a mother who is so ashamed of her own child. I'm afraid to take him out so he doesn't start harassing other people's children. I'm so confused and ashamed that its making me sick. Can you please help me make sense of this? What do I do to stop this behaviour?
This child u r talking about might have been abused outside ur home without ur knowledge. u need to sit him down and av a gud talk with him, or beta still seek professional help, there r therapist everywhere who handle stuffs like this
P.R.A.Y.E.R.....that's all you need to do. Serious prayer for him cos he need to be delivered as soon as possible. it might not be ordinary. please fast and pray. that's all i can say bcos with God, all things are possible.
Wow....And my 9 yr old daughter just started seeing her period. What do I do? Na dis early morning you wan bring Sex matter....Una no dey go work? Mtchewwww.....
Ur son nids deliverance big time. Seriosly, cnt tink of anyoda reason apart frm his possessed...& one ques, since u monitor his movies & all, do u live him in d company of grown ups? Lik house maids,neighbours & all? Hope he was neva sexually abused...
First of all sexual habits are somewhat genetical that is he picked up a high sexual libido from a parent
Secondly you must not be violent toward him because he would start to perfect the art of hiding his behaviour from you and you will create guilt in his heart for something he himself doesn't understand
You must put things in prayer as God who created him comes first
Talk to him all the time and make sure there are adult supervisors around him all the time
He is sexually curious and a lot of boys go through this stage
It doesn't mean he will become wayward but u have to use wisdom nd temparanment to handle the situation
You do not hit a child because of sex or the curiosity of it all
Talk to him about his feeling. Tell him the consequenses of rape, unprotected sex, perversion all those thinngs. Let him know he needs to have control over his emotions and nt let it control him
Advice him thaat sexual acts have to be consented by both parties he cannot forcefully receive it
Lastly in canada I read of a situation where a father took his daughter to a clinic because she wanted sex all the time and wa always horny. It could be a medical condition don't make the child feel worthles or different or bad
hi, worried mother, that child could be sexually abused behind you. Who do u live with, what does your househelp do behind your back? He should be given household jobs to do, and buy more puzzles for him to work with. Make sure u reward him well when he does his chores and puzzles well
With all the explicit material we have on the internet these days and with blogs like lindaikeji.com, we're definitely going to have an outbreak of child paedophiles very soon. Just yesterday, linda treated us to pictures of Okechukuwu's girlfriend in the bathroom, and the day before, it was very unclad pictures of a model. Sex is everywhere, maybe we should just start trying to live with it, like global warming. If you can't stop it, find a way of living with it.
Uhmmm I work as a Social worker in North America....and in my professional opinion, children who usually exibit this kind of behaviour sometimes mean that they have been exposed to sexual acts...either through what they see or someon has/is sexually abusing them. Sexual abuse does not neccessarily mean intercourse but it can be touching, rubbing, exposing them to porn or sexual acts and kissing by an older person on a younger/ underage person. Research shows that abuse is usually carried out by someone close to the victim. So not to alarm you, I will check the people around your son...househelp, driver, relative living with you etc. Dont accuse anyone yet but if you can just watch...Who bathes your child? who takes him to school?...what kind of job do you do?- are you usually out of the home? who babysits the child? you need to work together with your husband....is he your only child or he has siblings? any concern with other siblings? if there is an older sibling...you can apeak to the child but DO NOT interrogate ...ask leading questions...even when u speak to your 8 yr old...you can take him out of the house ....maybe for ice cream and talk about different things first before you start asking roundabout questions of your concern... REMEMBER: punishing him will not solve this issue...you need to find out the source and work up from there...Also when a person is being abused they are usuall scared of the abuser because many atimes the person would have threatened them.."If you tell" statements....So observe and plan what to do...remeber dont jump into conclusions before you actually have your evidence. All the best....
hi, worried mother, that child could be sexually abused behind you. Who do u live with, what does your househelp do behind your back? He should be given household jobs to do, and buy more puzzles for him to work with. Make sure u reward him well when he does his chores and puzzles well
Speak to him calmly and if u can find a child psychologist please take him to see one.don't forget to pray too and I mean hard fervent prayer. Nothing is too difficult for God.all the best.
wow! i don't even know where to start. where did he now pick all of this from? i don't even know if to call it hereditary. is there any member of ur family or ur husband's that has a reckless behaviour like this? oh well....check for a child pschologist and take him for sessions. May God be with u as u go thru this. a very embarrasing one!
Maybe early puberty? Children do tend to get curious about these things as they grow. Don't worry, he's not abnormal and he WILL soon understand what behaviour is and is not acceptable if you continue to sanction him whenever you see or hear of him doing what you complain of. At least you know he's not gay, he like boobs for Christ sake!
I am Going to tell you like it is; 1] your son has been sexually molested...his dad needs to talk to him, or you guys should go for counselling ...i think someone has molested your son without your knowledge.....
2} Your son has watched porn somewhere ...do you monitor your tv programmes?
3) he has a friend or someone he has been talking to that tells him all this stuff.....but 1 and 2 are the most ideal....
usually sexual abused children dont say it out but by their actions if your smart or have been a victim you would know....do you have a maid?
put him in prayer,secondly, do not kiss,play or make love wit ur husband in his present,stop him 4rm watching movie above his age,phongraphy, God bless u.
#SingingVigorously. Prayer is d key, prayer is the key, prayer is the master key Jesus started with prayers and ended with prayers, prayer is the master key.
dear sis, i will advise that while you are trying to discipline him, you should also go to God in prayer....there is no issue that God cannot resolve....
ok, before all the ignorant comments starts pouring in let me say this from my own humble opinion. your son is a curious 8 year old and he is translating it inappropriately. punishing him would not make it stop, you need to sit down with your husband and have a conversation with him. tell him why you think his behaviour is wrong and why he needs to stop. especially touching his younger sister. you need to talk to your daughter to so she can tell you what he has done to her, and make sure you talk to her about it been wrong and she should scream the next time he tries it. my brother was like that when he was younger, you are not alone. no need to be ashamed. he might not have seen it in your house, but there is a chance he picked up on such from people around on in school. If you have house helps or relatives he is close with, you would be shocked they have been sexually molesting him. like I said it happened to my brother. you need to nip it as soon as possible. good luck and also pray for wisdom and understanding.
Ask the father who's bn bringing home. Do u have a maid or cousin or any girl/lady in the house? As much as u can, try and get rid of any lady older than him within the house. You need to watch him closely. Get him some games that can occupy his mind. Get toys and don't keep him away from his games and toys. He needs something to occupy his mind. Finally, he needs your prayers and love not worries. Spend more time with him than you have. He ll be fine by God's grace.
Prv 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
Linda do not let people think that what they say of ibo people is true .some say they lack self respect and dignity in communication and behaviour U are today the most respected blog in Nigeria apart from Bellanaija so please yank off this absolute rubbish cos u will become a mother someday soon. The charly boy nonentity u vve hoisted up in the past is enough dirt for us on this blog till next year A word is enough for the wise
Instead of worrying so much please sit him down and have a heart to heart talk with him like mother and son, find out from him if someone no matter who, has abused him before,by touching or anything you can think of. Don't scare him, make him understand he can trust you with any information.Then make it a habit to teach him that it is devil's children that exhibit such attitude. Be the one to take him to sleep at night and use that as an opportunity to talk to him until he sleeps.Develop a closeness that gives you opportunity to talk to and listen to him. goodluck.
Check your nanny/househelp asap! Do you have your siblings living with you? Do u live in a flat and you have neighbours? Please check those areas too, he has been exposed to what he's not meant to see. Let him see a Specialist who can help in getting to the bottom of the origin of his behaviour.You will call him and have a heart to heart chat with him and explain what he's doing is bad.If however he doesn't stop and he still continues, my dear get a very good ruler and smack those knuckles every time you catch him or he's reported,that pain will remind him of more to come if he keeps misbehaving. And please keep his sister away from him and watch him closely like a hawk because he might still be doing it secretly and not in the open like before.
1. YOU NEED TO TAKE HIM TO SEE A SHRINK(ESPECIALLY ONE WHO HAS EXPERTISE WITH KIDS. ENGAGE HIM BETTER.. 2.FIND OUT WHAT ACTIVITIES HE LIKES BEST AND ENSURE IS EXTENSIVELY ENGAGED IN THAT ACTIVITY AND HAS LESS TIME TO DWELL ON HIS FEELINGS. 3. BE MORE VIGILANT. CHECK OUT FOR BAD INFLUENCES FROM FRIENDS, NEIGHBOURS AND HOUSE HELPS. 4.PRAY HARD ABOUT IT.
this is not a case of punishment . Call him n talk to him . Make him knw dat wat he his doing is bad. Use bible stories n teach him... Tell him if he continues he will go to hell. Then also pray for him.
So sorry abt, bt in dis kind of case, what is needed is prayer cos I believe dat is d only way. B'cos it may be a phisical something bt spiritual for a 8yrs child to find himself in such condition.
Wow! This is quite sad, as a mother I understand ur feelings, punishment can't solve the issue at hand. You need to seek psychlogical help medically dont forget with God all things are possible. Don't cast him out, no smoke without fire. You boy will be for signs and wonders IJN. Praying for you
I feel for u as a mother. My first advice is pray, take all to God in pryer. Then the second thing is call ur son to ur room as a mother, ask him lovingly who taught him all the sexualn stuffs, there is a high tendency someone is abusing ur son sexually. Let him know that if he tells u nothing will happen to him and u would not beat him, cos d person abusing him might av threatened him that if he tells anyone he would die or his parents would beat him. Once he tells u, pls whoever d person is, severe all contacts with dat person and ur son. Also lovingly let him know such things are not good and let him know d advantages and disadvantages. Let ur husband too talk to him as his dad, becos boys always look at their dad as their role model. Do all these lovingly and prayerfully and i know by God's grace he will turn a new leaf.
So sorry Madam. Its veri sad. Do u have a maid? If yes,I think u shud chck her. Den call him n talk 2 him. If possible,scare him dat he'l neva see u n Daddy again if he continues lyk dat. Does he sleep in dsame room wit his sister? If yes,pls seperate dem. Then,pray. Pray 2 God 4 intervention n God 'l help u. Goodluck. Bee
Obiviously your son has been watching a porn movie or seen u and your husband having sex severally times. At this stage it is still easy to curb this awful habit from him. Simply smack hard each time you hear or see him do this act I think that the only way he can stop this. I think he is too young to talk him out of this.
He needs to see a counselor. Children are curious and experiment but his seems a bit much and too constant. He might have been/might be being sexually abused.
My sister, in my own opinion, you need to be very prayerful about this situation. You also need t find out if he has been abused bybany close relative because if you say he has not learnt from the tv or Internet, where then does he learn these things? You willnalso need to investigate who his friends are both at school, church/mosque and at home. Finally you will need to start giving him punishments that ar,e not corporal. Restrictions, deprivations etc. The carrot and stick approach. Look for those things he likes and withdraw them from him. Lock him up in a room with just his books and food and water in thebtimeof the day when his friends are out catching fun. Reward is siblings for good behaviour with gifts and treats while he watches and let them come home and talk about it to his hearing. Then let him know that all these are happening because he is being a bad boy.
Try to talk more to him and let him earn your trust. Most importantly, let God be in control of this situation. Children are our precious gifts from him, like arrows we must aim them to hit the right targets, that is GOD'S assignment to us.
You and the dad must be accessible and open for communication, it will help the boy come to you to tell you everything without any fear.Be his FRIEND and not his parent. Pray for him without season and show him Gods way.God will see you through
Critical situations calls for critical measures,and with dat in view,u need to sit himdown his age notwithstanding,and him know d evil in what he's doing. Since he's been able to show such odd maturity on a negative note,u shouldn't also shy away from educating him as an adult. Asides dat if u av a househelp or other adults at home,u also need to be watchful. Coz I almost learnt fast from d numerous househelps we had then and a neighbour,who was already in senior sec sch,while I was still in primary school.
He shld get busy, like engage him with activities dat would intrest him, eg swimming, lawn tennis, tykwando, computer lesson, piano lesson he would be too busy to remember any of those nasty altitude, n he shld stay of movie n not share same bed with his sister.
A house help or a close relative may have exposed him to such act. I feel your pain. I'd suggest you seek medical attention/therapy for him. You will be fine. *hugs*
The right step should be to ask him calmly and sweetly how and where he learnt those things. You will be pretty amazed what you will find out. After comes the talk therapy about the dangers of his actions and why he should stop it. The last continuous step is to monitor, watch and counsel him.... This I'm afraid will last till he leaves the house.
Maybe should start from checking up ur stewards...cos my elder bro basically had same issue...turned out to be,when everyone has left d house,d house help practice all dat on him(7yrs old kid)wen it was found out,she was sent out ,n the little boy cautioned n disciplined..sit him down talk to him,counseling is all he needs.... nauti nauti
Take him for deliverance!!!prayer city,that after u talk to him and also go thru wat ur husband does on a regular...it could be an evil link or trait!!do a lot of prayers and later take him for deliverance at prayer city mfm!!!this is ur son(ur seed)ur future.this are strange times...stay bold God loves u.
PLS!!!! TAKE HIM AWAY FROM YOUR DAUGHTER, my brother tried touching me when i was young and glory be to God I did not falter into such lifestyle. As for your son he needs prayers, fast and pray for him, make him join the church children's fellowship or something. it is not too late to instil the word of God into his life. boys his age should never be curious. AND BEAT THE HELL OUT OF HIM!!!!
Pray for him.mayb its a curse dat has been comitted by sumone in ur family or ur hubbyz family,now ur innocent son is d one dat d curse has fallen on.jst pray about it.sounds spiritual.
Dear worried mother i think they must have possessed your 8 year old son all you need is prayer,take him to real man of God for deliverance if he seems not to desist from this act,practically discipline him he is never too old for you to handle he is still a child,in the book of Matthew 11:12 it says And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force.
Also i can vividly remember a verse in the bible that says spare the rod and spoil the child.
You need to act now before you loose your son to evil people.
If u av a house help pls check her out and investigate d issue,maybe he/she is using him and introducing him to rusbbish! Av had a help who was a lesbo bt luckily we found out on time and sent her away! Let's stand up for our kids and be d mothers we should be!
wooow this is scary ooh . 1st of all do u have a house girl ? jus askin oh nd have u spoken to him and asked him y he likes to kiss (u cud ask him calmly nd not impose fear ) .jus sit him down nd talk to him . i no people wud come nd say take him 2 church 4 deliverance or sumfin , dat wudnt b nice.
wow, he is surely too young for all this. Snce he has never bn on the internet and doesnt watch such on TV. I'd say u chek out who his friends are. He prolly picked such behavior in school.I think u shud sit him down and talk to him heart to heart, try finding out how he knows all this, punishment might not solve the case. So, draw out his thoughts using the simplest words.I hope my suggestions'd work out. *hug*
Hmmm dis is srios.first of all na to pray incase juju dey wory am.den u advice him sriosly.av a heArt to heart talk with him and giv him sex education dats actualy what he needs.nekkyvile
When i was about 2 or 3 when our parents had gone out in the morning our housegirl would open the door for a guy who would have sex with her right there on our living room with me and my baby sister watching.
It has to be someone whom he is exposed to....do you have a househelp or relative who is living with you at home. He didnt just think it up, he has been exposed to it. so find out who it is and get that person out of his life. Either the person watches inappropriate TV with him or does it right in front of him.
I pray he gets over this cause i can imagine how embarrassing it is for you.
U have to smack his ass till it pops out of his head! So wrong! Or just take him to Ori-oke for prayers....this is beyond normal Lol! PS. He shdnt be trying to touch his sis. Hope u know that? So u better check that
Apart from Prayer like everyone suggested, I think its time you sit your son down and have the dreaded "sex talk" with him, otherwise, in his curiosity, he will find out the wrong way. You are his mother, dont shy away from the task.
Your situation is one no mother can pray to be in,I sincerely sympathise with you. It is said that the biological composition of some people make them more sexually aware than others. My suggestion is that you seek medical attention for your son,a doctor can tell whether that behaviour is normal or not. And while you are at it pray,and get the help of people you know can help and not mock you to join you in prayer. I know God will make everything alright.
Helloooo.... Did u say it might not be ordinary ? Wake up ! This is a jet world . Let him see a therapist... Its a medical or physical condition . Must we attach spiritual to everything ? Too bad !
in my earnest opinion,this child has being exposed to sexually oriented stuffs. wu takes care of them while u re gone,haus help,even older relatives can not be trusted;wu and wu does he play wt,becos other children arund him affects his behaviour,seriously i feel there is someone arund wu is misguiding him....so its ur duty to find out;and pls be guided the way u talk to him about this cos u might jst make him more curious.seek proper guidance from sex experts,for his age i rule out sexual hormome inbalance shaa. Ensure he doesnt ve access to pornographic movies and internet sites,buy him lots of novels for his age and toys to occur him at his free period,teach him the word of God and even how to pray more fervently,for now resist playmates from outside the house until u solve this mystery. my little cousin was a victim until his mum made properly investigation and behold its ws a ten yr old haus girl molestating a 4 yr old.above all put it in prayers,Gods in control.
I concur. Buy a nannycam and put around the house to monitor your househelp when you are away. It could be a previous maid that molested your child too. Take him to the hospital.
I'm so disappointed to read people write "pray". Prayer is fine but works has to be involved. It is evident your son has been exposed to sexual behavior. A child will not talk unless exposed to language, will not pray unless exposed to prayer, will not read unless exposed to books, you.catch my drift? Look for a person in his life who is taking extra attention to him.
Child peadophiles? Really? Do you know d meaning of the word peadophile?my dear it means an adult that prefers sexor things of a sexual nature with a child so therefore a child can never be a peadophile
You're an insensitive person. I actually feel sorry for your children. People like you have children who might suffer sexual abuse and hide it out of fear of you. Smh
Its either hes being abused sexually or his friends.. Derz a friend of myn whose cousins watched porn wiv frnds without d adults knowledge. One day, dey tried it on deir own n filmed it wiv deir camera. In d video of 6 kids, siblings were not allowed to touch each oda. dey exchanged wiv deir frnds. I'm talkin of kids between 8-14.
I was sexually molested by a female househelp growing up and am a female..it causes has a lot of psychological problems and makes you intensely sexually curious..in my opinion being violent with him will not make him stop but will make him secretive and probably look for more depraved means of satisfying his sexual curiousity. He needs your understanding and the help of a qualified child psychologist..i was able to overcome the effects of abuse cause of my parents that made sure i got the help i needed..God be with you and your family.
This behaviour could be intepreted in many ways 1) He might have been sexually abused by someone. 2) He goes to school, he has friends and (you will be shocked by what other children see in their respective homes)and he might just be acting out what he hears or sees. Now let's talk about solutions, I will advise you see a child psychiatrist and a sex therapist who best know how to handle this. I will also advise you and your husband not be hostile towards your son as he may begin to hide these things from you which may lead to worse things. Boys are generally more sexually curious at a really young age and his puberty might just be setting in a tad bit too early. I wish you the best.
Grrr... these 'spirococo' comments like 'prayer is the master key' and 'he needs deliverance' just annoy me! I must state that while this is true; it doesn't really help her!!! Can't we just be real people and offer good advice or keep quiet if you don't have anything constructive to say??? *Finished my venting*
well wat i have to say fr dis as a lady s dat yu re a woman God has blesd yu with so many gifts one of dem s being able to convince one with words wat yu say..first of all yu nid to do s sit down with yur son and tlk to im,ax hm questions,like how he fells nd wat makes him do those tins es doing,do dis tell hm to trust yu,make him feel relax nd so he will be open to you,yu tlk to him and also refere him to bible passages,children re definiteli afraid of heaven and hell stori dey will wnt to do any fin to please God,tell him God hates such tins..after yur lenty tlk,welcome him as a son,pray together..nd afta dat keep praying fr him in yur own secrete corners dats yur job as his mom..I WANT YU TO KNOW SMETIN GOD KNWS DAT YU RE CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF DAT CHILD DATS Y HE GAVE HIM TO YOU,ALLL YU VE TO DO IS PLAY YUR PART ND TELLL GOD TO PLAY HIS...HE SAID CHILDREN RE BLESING ND SO YOUR CHILD IS A BLESSING NOT A CURSE AND BY SO,HE CAN ONLY BRNG BLESSINGS TO YOU NOT CURSE OR FEAR OR BEING ASHMED...ITS WELL,WSH YU ALL D BEST..M BARACHEL(WILL B PRAYING FR YUR FAMILI TOO)
THIS GUY MUST HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED, I WANT TO RELATE DIS STORY TO DAT OF A GIRL NOTICE AROUND MILE2 LAGOS EARLY THIS YEAR. SHE WAS ABUSED BY AN OLD MAN LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH DIS GIRL PARENT.SO MADAM SEAT DIS BOY DOWN ASK QUESTION MAYBE IT WILL HELP OR VISIT PROFESSIONALS ABOUT IT.
well wat i have to say fr dis as a lady s dat yu re a woman God has blesd yu with so many gifts one of dem s being able to convince one with words wat yu say..first of all yu nid to do s sit down with yur son and tlk to im,ax hm questions,like how he fells nd wat makes him do those tins es doing,do dis tell hm to trust yu,make him feel relax nd so he will be open to you,yu tlk to him and also refere him to bible passages,children re definiteli afraid of heaven and hell stori dey will wnt to do any fin to please God,tell him God hates such tins..after yur lenty tlk,welcome him as a son,pray together..nd afta dat keep praying fr him in yur own secrete corners dats yur job as his mom..I WANT YU TO KNOW SMETIN GOD KNWS DAT YU RE CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF DAT CHILD DATS Y HE GAVE HIM TO YOU,ALLL YU VE TO DO IS PLAY YUR PART ND TELLL GOD TO PLAY HIS...HE SAID CHILDREN RE BLESING ND SO YOUR CHILD IS A BLESSING NOT A CURSE AND BY SO,HE CAN ONLY BRNG BLESSINGS TO YOU NOT CURSE OR FEAR OR BEING ASHMED...ITS WELL,WSH YU ALL D BEST..M BARACHEL(WILL B PRAYING FR YUR FAMILI TOO)
The only thing is dat he needs prayes.he maybe influnce by wat he sees or see people doing or sum1 hv told him about sex.I think prayer will help.take to pastor T.B joshau.u must be fast nd keep him away 4rm sis be4 she gets affected
Madam. this is the solution get this mesage by Dr. d. k. Olukoya (1st of october) in any of MFM branches.Title Special Compilation it is MP 3 CD LISTEN VERY Carefully to Your marriage and your ancestors.He got that character from your family line
Madam. this is the solution get this mesage by Dr. d. k. Olukoya (1st of october) in any of MFM branches.Title Special Compilation it is MP 3 CD LISTEN VERY Carefully to Your marriage and your ancestors.He got that character from your family line
the most ignorant comment i have seen here is 'take him for deliverance, he has spiritual problems' seriously people...this is a psycological thing, he only needs d right council and yes prayers to back it up...pls madam if you read this comment dont take your child to a place where he will feel threatened (people yelling prayers at him)talk to him, see a professional that can help..his case isnt abnormal
First, commit the matter to Jehovah and ask for His help. There are no impossibilities with Him. Pray as though it all depends on your prayers.
Secondly, seek medical counsel; it could be as a result of hormonal imbalance.
Thirdly, investigate if your child has been sexually abused by someone (either living with you or at school) - you have to be tactful about this, though. Most times, when children pick up this abnormal sexual drives, its as a result of some sexual abuse - either in the form of sexual intercourse, or caressing, or if an adult allows your child play with the adult's sex organs. It could also be due to porn exposure - you are sure you are in control of what the child watches when you are with him; what of when you are not with him?
Fourthly, counsel your child, gently, with the Word of God. Get him to confide in you and tell you how he feels without holding back anything. Try to find out the source of the problem before figuring out a solution. Avoid assumptions. It may not be what you think.
Re-educate his mind. Re-inspire him. Let him know he has the power to control his thoughts. You could also keep his mind involved in more productive ventures - like reading storybooks and writing essays on them. Be sure to reward him for this in order to keep his interest. You could also consider buying him a video game if he has none.
Lastly, as much as possible, please limit your acts of punishment. Be sure to discipline him from time to time if he persists but don't make this a regular practice. It would only, eventually, make him more hardened and determined to continue and with time, he would develop methods of concealing his habits from you.
If u are sure u ve never exposed him to sexual acts - on Tv and internet, then somebody must have done so. He is still a child, therefore couldnt have manufactured those acts by himself. I strongly believe like most contributors, that son was or is still being sexually molested. If not in school, family friends, then at home. Carefully check his environment, people around him. It could be someone you least expect. Punishing him will worsen it. Even as u pray and seek child psychologist's opinion, i advise you make children especially ur son see u as his friend despite being their mum. U have to devote time to this. Instead of beating, pamper him so he could confide in u. D purpose of doing this is to enable u understand where or who d source of his problem is so u can eliminate that 'source'if its a member of ur household or family friend, u do away with d person, if its school, change school,if its Tv or internet, u deny him that. A psychologist/therapist will do his part but if the 'source' of d problem is not removed,he keeps going back.in conclusion, let him feel free with u to make d job easier. I will like to know as u progress because i have helped many children out of similar situations and will like to learn more ways. Its nothing to be ashamed of. It happens. Good luck!
I am pity for the young boy, getting accustomed to sex at early stage of life could be very dangerous, he might become errotic and lustful at later stage of his life which might affect him negatively. I know what am saying, same thing happened to me, i got accustomed to sex at the age of four, it affected negatively during my childhood and adolescence stage which i would not reveal to anybody except to GOD, i know what have gone through because of this immoaral and nasty act. Thank to the words in holy QURAN that made me to get over from this obcene act at the age of twenty three.
It's funny how some people are so quick to jump into conclusion that the child's possessed and he needs deliverance. Why don't you guys locate the family and deliver the child urselves kmt.
Neways, dear worried mother... your child has been molested somewhere along the line or it may be that he's been exposed to sexual materials. Talk to him, ask him where he learnt all the sexual stuffs from. Pet him, dnt be angry at him. What he needs now is your utmost attention.
This sounds to me like a case of child abuse- find out who your son has been spending time with and take things from there- punishing your son will only make things worse
I think he was sexually molested at some point in his life ,most likely by someone close to your family . Also it's important to understand that even at age 8 a child could just be curious.
All these religious charlatans have come with their nonsensical advice.mtshewwww.
Madam ur son has been abused.Take him to a child psychologist ASAP. Leave all these ignorant spiritually fake Nigerian zealots alone.They know no better and will remain in their myopic onesided spirtualism.
as a psychologist, i would recommend you take your child to counseling, because i believe in all honesty, that someone close to him has sexually abused your child, and he is just replaying what he has learned. I think the quicker you take him to a therapist the better for him, and your whole family. Goodluck.!! And please dont do the african thing by leaving it to prayer, your child needs help, for God helps those who helps themselves!!
Maybe he has been sexually abused. Instead of beating him as people in this part of the world do, try talking and tell him that such acts are sinful in the eyes of God. Make him understand that there are good and bad touches and ask him question as to his being touch in those ways. You will be shocked at what you find out. Make him promise to report any such acts in the future, especially if he is coaxed not to tell you. All the best.
SEXUAL ABUSE IS ENDEMIC IN NIJA..WITH ALL THE HOUSEHELPS AND EXTENDED FAMILY ALL OVER THE PLACE...SIT HIM DOWN AND GENTLY ASK QUESTIONS...HOPE ALSO THAT NO HOUSEHOLD MEMBER HAS BEEN SHOWING HIM SEXUALLY GRAPHIC MOVIES....INCLUDING NIGERIAN HOME VIDEOS WHICH HAVE BECOME INCREASINGLY AND HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE FOR MINORS...DO UR HOMEWORK!!!
locking him up will make him worse when he grows up..he'd probably be a sexual predator...take him for psychological help, pray and teach him from the Bible...He needs to know that such things are bad..
If you listen to the advice of all these Pentecostal freaks you will never solve the problem. Your child is being abused madam. Don't panic, just fight for him and protect your children and back it up with prayers. Also, seek professional counseling for him, not from a pastor. He does not need judgement and condemnation to hell fire, he needs patience, love and understanding right now. Good luck!
Good advice! To those saying deliverance n fasting is the way, I wonder WHY you all have brains! Like seriously! And you lot will be claiming "educated" smh
Nigerians nd deliverance , Any problem deliverance hia , nobody says u shudnt oh ,yea u wud pray about it but do u need a vision to tell u wat d problem is. arhhha fast pray dry fast nd co but una wey dey say d fast nd pray n holy nd good sef hiiissss. d child an issue yea u wud pray ova it nd talk to d child its not lik he has a disease or sumfin . children r very hard to talk to and understand so he needs extra care 2 tackle dis mata , no b to go 2 church were dey can say na sins of d papa or mama.
I AGREE. AT 8, HIS BEHAVIOUR IS INFLUENCED BY WHAT HE SEES AROUND HIM ON A REGULAR BASIS.HE IS AN INNOCENT AND US IMITATING WHAT HE SEES. THE 'TEACHER/ABUSER' HE IS IMITATING SPENDS LONG TIME WITH HIM
WHERE DOES HE SPEND MOST OF HIS LIFETIME? HOME AND SCHOOL, PLAYGROUND BUT MAINLY FIRST TWO.YOU,DAD,TEACHERS,PLAYMATES,DOMESTIC HELP OR ANY ADULT CONTACT ARE SUSPECTS FOR RAISING A POTENTIAL SEX PERVERT/RAPIST
CHECK YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY LINE FOR PERVERTS, SAME TO HIS DAD (AS IN SPERM-DONOR DAD BIKO) AND BIOLOGICAL FAMILY-CUS THAT WILL BE GENETICS
OBSERVE HIM FULLY, IF POSSIBLE DOCUMENT WHAT HE DOES/WHEN HE DOES IT/WHO HE IS MOST FAMILIAR DOING IT WITH
TAKE HIM TO A PSYCHIATRIST AND PSYCHOLOGIST VERY REGULARLY. TAKE HIM TO A DOCTOR TO CHECK FOR IMBALANCES TOO.
BE OPEN MINDED AND YOU WILL SEE THE CAUSE AND POSSIBLY CURE OR KNOW HOW TO BEST MANAGE IT. HE IS TOO YOUNG BUT STILL HE IS YOUR KID SO TEACH HIM ABOUT CONSENT,AND CONSEQUENCES IN CHILD FRIENDLY LANGUAGE.
*BTW LIB AM ANGRY CUS SOME NIGERIAN MEN OPENED THEIR DIRTY MOUTH TO SAY THEY CHEAT BECAUSE WHEN HE SEES NAKED FLESH HIS BLOOD RUSHES TO HIS PENIS SO HE LOOSES CONTROL AND HE MUST SLEEP WITH THE PERSON. I WONDER IF HIS DAUGHTER STARTS GROWING BREAST AND HAIR IN HER VAGINA AND ALL WILL THE BLOOD RUSH TO HIS PENIS AND HE RAPES HIS OWN DAUGHTER? WILL HE RAPE HIS OWN YOUNG SON? VERY VERY HIGH RATE OF PAEDOPHILIA BECAUSE MEN SAY THEY LOOSE CONTROL ON WHAT THEY SEE AND MUMU WOMEN SUPPORT THAT NONESENSE TALK. WOMEN, WE KNOW WE DONT 'LOOSE CONTROL' PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAKE FULL CONTROL OF YOUR CHILDREN,YOU AND YOUR WOMB KNOW THEY ARE STILL YOUNG, MALE PERVERTS AND THEIR DICKS SEEM NOT TO KNOW. DONT TRUST THESE MEN AROUND YOUR OFFSPRING OH WHETHER BIOLOGICAL (BROTHER HUSBAND BIKONU)
As everyone has said, check ur household. Someone there is doing something illicit to that boy. Secondly, please invest in IP cameras for your house. That way you can monitor your house while you're out either on ur phone, laptop, ipad etc. That things has saved lives.
The worst thing you can do to him is punish him; and no he is not possessed and doesn't need deliverance. You need to sit him down and talk to him. I was sexually harassed when I was about 5 and that opened my eyes to a lot of things from a tender age. I'm a mum myself and watch out for dodgy relatives around my child. Goodluck.
Did you watch that gory video sent in sometime this year of some girl not more than 9YEARS OLD HAVING SEX WITH A LITTLE BOY NOT MORE THAN 3 OR 4 YEARS OLD?Trust me it was BAD! i cried watching the video it was a pathetic site.Annoying thing is the girl was FULLY aware of what she was doing because she kept peeping to see if anyone was watching her. Parents are too busy these days chasing other things, to know what is happening to their children. Please sit him down and in a loving way ask where he learn't this sort of behavior from. He is innocently doing it now, but if not curbed will grow up to become a nymphomaniac or a rapist. My dear also pray oh!Chai its so sad.
i'm a girl and i started touching myself when i was abt 7 or so...am not proud of it..i was molested when i was little. Your son must have been molested by someone close to the family..i dont think it was in school..just try and talk to him..dont be harsh or anything..kids dont like being shouted at..am pretty sure he will open up to you and tell you who touched him..and also pray.Goodluck
Tnx 4 bringing dis 2 my notice. I was sexually abused by our once upon a tym house help, a guy 2 be exact, d funi thing ws dat i ddnt undastand wat it ws so i blockd it out until i started readin dis type of e-mails, i began 2 luk at my sexual lyf in a diff way nd noticed d afta effects of dat abuse, i rememberd d first tym i watchd porn wit our neighbours kids nd oda frnds and actin it out later, i rememberd makin out wit my female cousins nd i did all of dis under d age of ten b4 enterin into sec skul. d 1st tym i had sex, we went 4 rounds nd den 4 d nxt few wks we had sex ova nd ova again lyk it ws no man's bizness, i ddnt stop at dat, 2wks into loosing my virginity i went 2 visit my sista in skul nd ended up havin sex wit one of her frnds nd it wsnt jst dat 1 tym, we did it again and again b4 my conscience kickd in nd i had 2 cut things off, dat ws b4 i read abt a similar case 2 dis nd afta thorough self examination, i ws vry mad at d male species dat i dumpd d current bf sharpaly cos he is as horny as me nd wsnt helpin matters atall. I realised 2 late dat i ws sexually abused at a vry tender age nd it is has affected nd is stil affectin my sexual lyf, nw i hv sworn dat my husband wil be d 3rd guy i hv sex wit. My point being dat had my moda been more attentive 2 us nd nt been overly consumed wit work nd leavin us 2 d mercy of d helps cos we sure did hav a lot of'em, i wouldnt be floggin myself so. So my dear, my best advice 2 u is 2 check out ur sons frnds nd d people close 2 ur family, u wil be suprised at wat u uncover, dia is no smoke witout fire. All d best.
my candid advice to you. 1. engage him in home schooling for now, so he doesn't bring you shame(take some time off work to monitor him closely) 2. take him to a therapist.for counselling and advice. there is what we call labeling theory (A form of stigma that makes it difficult for those on whom it has been imposed to lead normal lives)please don't stigmatize him (it could be dangerous) 3. engage him with children's activity. go out with him to kids functions. and above all always pray for him.
Excuse mi, who ar yu 2 say gettaway frm here? Yu'r very stupid. Its a suggestion nt a command. Moreso there's nothing prayer cannot do. We're all entitled to our own opinion. Idiot!
My dear sister. Do not despair. Your son may have been sexualy abused. It could be anyone, he probably has been aroused sexually and enjoyed the feeling. Also he may have been exposed to pornography i.e. either through someone watching it in yoru absence. But please please please do not hit him. You need to sit him down and talk to him. Speak to him intelligently and with love. tell him that you do not like his behaiviou an dthat it is very bad. You must also explain to him why it is very bad. Then you must gently ask him to tell you if anyone has touched him or kissed him etc etc. You must make him feel comfortable to trust you to tell you teh truth. He musnt feel that he would be punished for telling you the truth. Remember he is still a child and doesnt know what he is doing. When he tells you what happened, you must handle it with a lot of wisdom. I was sexually abused as well as a child and it affected me. I was abused by teh househelp and as a consequence I began to kiss and play naughty games with my cousins. I did things that I cant even type. But above all and infact first of all, pray. Before you do any of teh above, please talk to your creator. Cry out to HIM. Ask HIM to help you and reveal to you what happend to your child and what has casued this behaviour in your child. Also ask HIM to give you the wisdom to handle and deal with the matter. Then pray for your son and talk to him in love.
I remember reading a testimony that a lady said her 6 yr old daughter was acting similary o your son and after she prayed about it. It was revelead that her husband used to watch pornography and that left an openign and so an unclean spirit gained access to teh child and caused her to act that way. Thankfully it was dealt with. We can never underestimate the power of prayer and dialogue in love. It is well with you in Jesus Name Amen.
As a survivor of rape and someone who has spoken to others who have been sexually abused, I fully support what the first commenter said.
Your son may have been sexually abused (molested) without your knowledge.
Spanking him for his behavior, punishing him, or any other form of violence from you (his parents) is NOT going to help him. Instead, beating him is going to reinforce "not telling". You definitely don't want your child silenced, especially if the abuse is from a "trusted" family member.
Yourself and your husband need to have a serious talk about how to deal with this issue. Praying doesn't necessarily resolve such things. Back up your prayers with action.
Who do you trust to leave your children alone with to watch them for long/short periods of time?
Children listen to their parents instructions more than anyone else. keep speaking to your son based on your faith on what is acceptable behavior in a loving way. Don't get tired. He's a child and needs to be constantly reminded to do many things.
Trust me, he's listening.
Be prayerful. So God can take whosoever is teaching him these bad habits far away from him.
Practice what you teach
Reward good behavior.
Be calm in your spirit. It is well. He will be ok.
Your child has probably been abused and or is being abused as we speak. It could even be in the house to. Check everyone in contact with the boy and talk to him too. He needs therapy fast because it sounds like he has already become a predator and worse still can not distinguish good bad in between.
Something triggered this behaviour most likely abuse. Therapy and prayers. Good luck, beating will not stop it.
My husband is always telling me about the abuse little boys get from relations and house help ....
Nigerians, always concluding everytin is spiritual. The long and short of it all is that he has or is being sexually abused. Find out who, by talkin to him and makin him undastand ur there to protect him 4rm harm. I can c that the name Praise Fowowe an expert has bin mentioned more than once.In ur best interest, speak to him. It will all be ok.
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Reading via all the comments and it shows MANY are not educated or lack the basic Human exposure.
For crying out load he is 8yrs old.
Hello Mother,
1. Your need to talk him, at least he will be able to tell you his interest and fears. (Don’t make it sound like he is grounded or anything). Please don’t beat him! 2. Find out more about is daily activities 3. It might be hormones and then you need a specialist, not just a Doctor. 4. Religiously, you need to prayer. (God is the Unchangeable Changer) 5. Talk to him more, no one can help you in that area.
Yeah...gd advice, but the first Anon that comment on this gd advice, don't get it twisted, there's nothing prayer cannot do.prayer is the key remember that.
Have you ever had a female househelp? If yes, you might want to question the boy about any sexual experiences with the househelp. Its a possibility. And like Okeziekingsley said, you might want to talk to Praise Fowowe. It is well!
most kids boys age of 4 tend to be abuse, and later search for sexual pleasure anywhere, end up being trained by a professional who likes their curiosity and he is out in d society, having sex, sex and more sex with any girl, breaking heart and just doing it, so a therapist is needed, apart from prayers, u need to get close to him well enough to talk oh, cuz even with prayers it wnt jst disappear, urge for it and all, takes discipline, it is well with you and your family...............he was obviously abused or exposed to sex, not jst abt social site or internet...........someone did it with him
Children only copy what they see and hear what people do. From my observation, your 8yrs old boy has being abused by a female who is always spend more time with him either in your home or where they normally go always. For your son to be kissing and touching his breast, tried to molest your daughter, it means a female is doing something with your son. It seems your kids are always lonely that's why this female had the chance to abuse your boy. But if you investigate your daughter very well, you might get a clue. Things i would advice you to do.
1)You have to pray about it very well 2) Beat the child when ever you notice that devilish act. 3) Spend more time with your kids and always engage him. 4) Make sure your daughter must not be naked or wearing only pants when they are alone. 5) Try and replace his bad habit with something Good. Read the Bible to them always and let him be part of children church activities and drift his mindset away. 6) Make sure he should never be alone with a female, else he will think she will do thesame to him and he would like to get close. 7) Don't let him play with kids especially girls with only underwear on.
If you over look what is happening, things might get worse.
pls take your son to the deliverance team of catholic charismatic renewal of the catholic church around you. God will heal heal your son in Jesus name. Amen
pls take your son to the deliverance team of the catholic charismatic renewal in the catholic church around you. God will heal your son in Jesus name.amen
Anon 12: 28 and first commenter spoke correctly. Dear worried mother, can u actually 100% manage wathe watches on tv? Impossible? These kids r smart! Does he hv a phone? Dou know what ge does at schl? During break with his mates, his seniors, his jnrs? Can u absolutely monitor a child in this world of today? Stop kidding urself. If he takes ur smart phone or tablet (i.e assuming he doesnt have one to himself) and says hes playing Angry Birds or any other game, do u knw he may actually be watching porn online? U need to be careful! We all need to be very vigilant oh! This boy has been abused severally right under ur nose and he is loving every minute of it hun
madam... you are not entirely telling us the truth, are you a career woma? are yo a hundred percent there for your child all day? do you have a house help? ius hse trusted? are you sure she has not been molestiong him? apart from school and home, where does he spend his time? neighbours house? what does he imbibe there? what movies does he watch? do they have parental advisory? be careful....... if it means beating the shit out of him then i advice you to do so, if you make him grow up with this sort of unruly behaviour, you might live to regret it, remmember, he will be an adult someday, dont let him grow up to be a rapist, make him spend quality time in the childrens church, sunday school and limit his acess to tv for now, this is absurd and you must tackle dis
Monkey no dey born dog! Anytin wey snake born must long! So if your pikin begin dey do like say 'Terry G' music dey play for im head...no look any further...ask you or your hubby how una solve una own when una be that same age! You be real akamu! Na for blog na im you dey seek for solution abi? Na we be your psycologists abi?! Msheeew...'second bass jare'!
He has been exposed to porn or seen adults/grown ups engaged in the act. The fact that he does these things and you see them shows that it has not degenerated past exposure to participation in the sexual act. A child that is involved in sexual acts will be secretive about it and will be very careful that you do not find out. Making a grab for breasts and trying to fondle is mainly an expression of curiosity. Sadly images like that tend to stay with kids for life and proper counseling is needed. I am speaking from experience, as a child i was exposed to material with adult content and those images are still haunting me till today.I became highly sexxed and the way some people overeat when stressed that is how i need sex when i am stressed. check the people your child hangs around,your brothers,cousins, your husbands relatives even kids of family members and neighbours. Learn to talk to your child and reassure him of your love for him and how much his father is proud of him. Do not scare him and do9nt make it seem to him as if he has commited any sin. Let him know what is wrong or right but dont empghasize the sin part or you will end up allienating him or worse give him a sin/guilt mentality. I held that sin mentality for years and it kept me tied to sex
You have a potential rapist here. Most parents would not want to hear the truth. You have to keep him away from girls and boys.
Of course, you must take him to a therapist ASAP. He may have suffered from sex abuse or watched Porn films without your knowlegde, and had mastabated for years.
This is a very serious problem... It can happen to any child out there. He needs prayers too. He will tell the therapist what really happened to him. If you can be very nice to him, he will reveal a few shocking secrets. Pamper him...
Make sure your son is never alone. Loneliness breeds evil taught and desires. You are too busy with work or looking for money, now your children are suffering its consequence. If you are always with them, this won't happen. What happens are they come from school or where do they go after school? Look for something good to engage them after school until you are back from work. Like home teachers both male and female. This is a psychological issue . That bad habit needs to be replaced with a good habit and good time management.
He needs more of your care, concern ( Monitoring) and most especially commit it to God.. There is nothing God can't do. Actually am so sorry to say but it is spirit that is responsible for such act in a kid of that age and a bad one at that.. but not to worry much .. just take it to God in prayers and have faith.. Let the Spirit of the Lord swallow up the Spirit of such grevious iniquity.... I pray God will meet you at the point of your heart desire.. God bless you.
my dear, i did d same wen i wz at his age, if not younger, reason is dat i was molested by ma househlps n cudnt tell ma parents abt it cos of threats from dem, so pls i advise u speak to him or you monitor his activities with any member of ur household.
Why do Nigerians always resort to hitting for everything. How is spanking going to change anything. You are making it worse. From what I read there is probably sexual molestation going on or he has been touched inappropriately in the past. Your son is already suffering deeply and hitting him will worsen the situation. First thing you and your husband need to sit down and discuss what's happening. You also need to have a plan of how you all are going to talk to me. Have a couple of questions written down to ask him. Before you guys talk to him, monitor him very closely for a couple of days.If you have any housekeeper, baby sitter or cook at your home - Monitor them very closely too whether it's female or male. or You can also install CCTV security cameras in your home. Trust me those security cameras work wonders and has helped me a lot. If you can take a couple of days off work and go to his school to see how he functions and the folks he hangs out with that will be good.Please take note during your observations. After all the observations you've done sit him down and start asking him questions. Start with very easy ones and please don't yell or scream at him when you are talking to him. If he still doesn't want to speak, then you guys need to take him to a Psychologist that Specializes with kids that have been molested. I hope things get better.
If you folks dont know a remedy for a condition please do not profer solutions. Prayer is a great tool to overcome every circumstance but you have to follow it up therapeutically, be it drug, physical or mental therapy.
To suggest to the woman that it is only prayer that she needs is nonsensical.
This scenario painted by Linda might just be for thought provocation and not a reality. Either way we deserve to approach it intellectualy and not the Nigeria remedy for everything(PRAYERS) and things are getting worse by the day. HEAVENS HELP THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.
This child condition needs serious intervention be it medical or otherwise in his life now.
Mum, call his little guy in and seriously talk to him about his attitude and that his tendencies are not in conformity with societal norms and that he needs to change now. Dont whip him, that will make him to withdraw and you end up having a sex offender in your life. Very delicate issue. Approach him with respect and talk to him like an adult and if you are not making any leeway, please engage professionals. But dont let your husband start acting like a typical Nigerian man and start beating the crap outta him. Good luck and God's Grace.
Was beginning to wonder if linda's blog is now the spot for girls that want to advertise their body. Almost as if she is giving them the platform to show potential customers what's on sale. Just saying.
he sounds as though he might have been sexually molested or maybe he is still being molested, find a child psychiatrist in your area as soon as possible, so your child can get away from his abuser and start healing
It's so funny that some Nigerians automatically feel when there's a problem it's spiritual, no wonder churches are making so much money............, sweetheart please take your son to a child psychiatrist something has happened I your sons life u don't know about....... Heaven helps those that help themselves.......,.,
*sigh* I really sympathise with this lady. Reading thru people's comments, it really seems the child may have been abused sometime or maybe its just some kind of disorder as well. Its worrisome that after putting so much into trying to bring up a child, u still cant do it all. But the Lord is your strength, he is in charge of us all. Brace up, don't punish the child. Try make him feel comfortable enough to open up to you then you can speak with a good psychologist . I wish you the best and I can only imagine the sort of anxiety you must be living with.
Its either he watched 2 people having sex or watched porn with someone. He could also have been sexually molested. But from what I'v seen, the 1st and 2nd options are the most likely cause. If he is/was being molested, he won't be open about it. He'll withdraw or become stubborn. He is only trying to replicate what he watched someone do in real life or movie so check your relativesan neighbours and househelps (even private lesson teachers). Iv seen a boy of 4 years do that, apparently, his uncle would watch porn on his laptop while the boy was in his room. The boy doesn't understand its wrong and that's why he is doing it openly. Growing up, a girl of 7 was caught with a boy of about 6 with their pants down and she was asking him to put his thing inside her. On questioning her, it was discovered that the househelp usually took her along to her boyfriends room because she couldn't leave her alone in the house so the child watched them do it. Just talk to him about sex and explain why he shouldn't touch his sister and other girls. Tell your kids to let you know once someone touches them down there. My sister usually asked a neigbour's son to come and play with her son so he won't be lonely. The boy started resisting her touch or kiss. She talked to him gently and promised not to beat him if he told her why he didn't want her touching him and he told her the neighbours son was always touching his thing and kissing him when she asks him to comeover and they play in his room. That is how the poor boy would have become homo if not for God. Educating children about sex is very impt. People tend to push it aside and pretend they are religious so everything is ok. Now my sister tells her kids as soon as they are old enough to talk to tell her when someone touches them there because its wrong. So dear, stop beating him, talk to him nicely and ask him where he saw the things he has been doing.
*sigh* I really sympathise with this lady. Reading thru people's comments, it really seems the child may have been abused sometime or maybe its just some kind of disorder as well. Its worrisome that after putting so much into trying to bring up a child, u still cant do it all. But the Lord is your strength, he is in charge of us all. Brace up, don't punish the child. Try make him feel comfortable enough to open up to you then you can speak with a good psychologist . I wish you the best and I can only imagine the sort of anxiety you must be living with.
DO NOT BEAT THE CHILD!! He will only start telling you what you want to hear to avoid being beaten and never the truth. You are lucky to know what he is doing so you have the chance to teach him. Some kids have been molested but can't talk to their parents about it for fear of being beaten and blamed. Its only when they grow up that they may tell some friends but the psychological burden simply doesn't let them enjoy their childhood.
Your child may just have been molested, i'm so sorry to say. You need to sit him down and talk to him to find out (in a non threatening setting). I know parents tend to over react but don't do that because he really doesn't know what he's doing. Now the problem with situations like this is that he may have been abused in your home or outside your home...it might be a family member or not, just dont overreact in front of the kid when u find out. Good luck and I hope this helps.
Nne, e de pepper u sey ur 9yr old don de see her period so fast? Oya go buy padlock start to lock am oh cos with this bitterness u just exhibited here, u have a bigger issue to deal with right in front of u.
I think you son needs to see a child psychologist.No child is really sick, its usually a problem in their environment,could be helps n other relatives maybe be exposing him to things not appropriate for his age. u know child learn very fast. u need to sit with your child n ask him questions n then go see a professional. God will help you.Amen ....Nnaya
Madam do u hv a female house help? If yes,im sure she must hv tried some funny stuffs wit him.sit him down,mk him Ųя frnd nd ask him questions,im sure he'l respond. Pls dnt b ashamed of him,he's Ųя son. Do dis b4 it gets out of hand.
272 comments:
1 – 200 of 272 Newer› Newest»This child u r talking about might have been abused outside ur home without ur knowledge. u need to sit him down and av a gud talk with him, or beta still seek professional help, there r therapist everywhere who handle stuffs like this
It may be his hormones. There's a medical condition called precocious puberty. Take him to see a doctor.
Deliverance, prayer and fasting o.that's the only thing U̶̲̥̅̊ can do.sorry my dear may God c U̶̲̥̅̊ thru dis tryin time.
Talk to Praise Fowowe he will help u he is a sex specialist and the Principal Consultant at the sex center. Tel: 08037269483
P.R.A.Y.E.R.....that's all you need to do. Serious prayer for him cos he need to be delivered as soon as possible. it might not be ordinary. please fast and pray. that's all i can say bcos with God, all things are possible.
Wow....And my 9 yr old daughter just started seeing her period. What do I do?
Na dis early morning you wan bring Sex matter....Una no dey go work?
Mtchewwww.....
Ur son nids deliverance big time. Seriosly, cnt tink of anyoda reason apart frm his possessed...& one ques, since u monitor his movies & all, do u live him in d company of grown ups? Lik house maids,neighbours & all? Hope he was neva sexually abused...
First of all sexual habits are somewhat genetical that is he picked up a high sexual libido from a parent
Secondly you must not be violent toward him because he would start to perfect the art of hiding his behaviour from you and you will create guilt in his heart for something he himself doesn't understand
You must put things in prayer as God who created him comes first
Talk to him all the time and make sure there are adult supervisors around him all the time
He is sexually curious and a lot of boys go through this stage
It doesn't mean he will become wayward but u have to use wisdom nd temparanment to handle the situation
You do not hit a child because of sex or the curiosity of it all
Talk to him about his feeling. Tell him the consequenses of rape, unprotected sex, perversion all those thinngs. Let him know he needs to have control over his emotions and nt let it control him
Advice him thaat sexual acts have to be consented by both parties he cannot forcefully receive it
Lastly in canada I read of a situation where a father took his daughter to a clinic because she wanted sex all the time and wa always horny. It could be a medical condition don't make the child feel worthles or different or bad
Please I'm speaking from wisdom
Talk to Praise Fowowe he is a sex specialist and principal consultant at the sex center helping children with sex problem Tel:08037269483.
view him on facebook praise.fowowe.7@facebook.com
www.praisefowowe.org
hi, worried mother, that child could be sexually abused behind you. Who do u live with, what does your househelp do behind your back? He should be given household jobs to do, and buy more puzzles for him to work with. Make sure u reward him well when he does his chores and puzzles well
With all the explicit material we have on the internet these days and with blogs like lindaikeji.com, we're definitely going to have an outbreak of child paedophiles very soon. Just yesterday, linda treated us to pictures of Okechukuwu's girlfriend in the bathroom, and the day before, it was very unclad pictures of a model. Sex is everywhere, maybe we should just start trying to live with it, like global warming. If you can't stop it, find a way of living with it.
Uhmmm I work as a Social worker in North America....and in my professional opinion, children who usually exibit this kind of behaviour sometimes mean that they have been exposed to sexual acts...either through what they see or someon has/is sexually abusing them. Sexual abuse does not neccessarily mean intercourse but it can be touching, rubbing, exposing them to porn or sexual acts and kissing by an older person on a younger/ underage person. Research shows that abuse is usually carried out by someone close to the victim. So not to alarm you, I will check the people around your son...househelp, driver, relative living with you etc. Dont accuse anyone yet but if you can just watch...Who bathes your child? who takes him to school?...what kind of job do you do?- are you usually out of the home? who babysits the child? you need to work together with your husband....is he your only child or he has siblings? any concern with other siblings? if there is an older sibling...you can apeak to the child but DO NOT interrogate ...ask leading questions...even when u speak to your 8 yr old...you can take him out of the house ....maybe for ice cream and talk about different things first before you start asking roundabout questions of your concern...
REMEMBER: punishing him will not solve this issue...you need to find out the source and work up from there...Also when a person is being abused they are usuall scared of the abuser because many atimes the person would have threatened them.."If you tell" statements....So observe and plan what to do...remeber dont jump into conclusions before you actually have your evidence.
All the best....
hi, worried mother, that child could be sexually abused behind you. Who do u live with, what does your househelp do behind your back? He should be given household jobs to do, and buy more puzzles for him to work with. Make sure u reward him well when he does his chores and puzzles well
Take him to ur pastor for Prayers, and also keep praying about it.
Speak to him calmly and if u can find a child psychologist please take him to see one.don't forget to pray too and I mean hard fervent prayer. Nothing is too difficult for God.all the best.
wow! i don't even know where to start. where did he now pick all of this from? i don't even know if to call it hereditary. is there any member of ur family or ur husband's that has a reckless behaviour like this?
oh well....check for a child pschologist and take him for sessions. May God be with u as u go thru this. a very embarrasing one!
Maybe early puberty? Children do tend to get curious about these things as they grow. Don't worry, he's not abnormal and he WILL soon understand what behaviour is and is not acceptable if you continue to sanction him whenever you see or hear of him doing what you complain of. At least you know he's not gay, he like boobs for Christ sake!
I am Going to tell you like it is;
1] your son has been sexually molested...his dad needs to talk to him, or you guys should go for counselling ...i think someone has molested your son without your knowledge.....
2} Your son has watched porn somewhere ...do you monitor your tv programmes?
3) he has a friend or someone he has been talking to that tells him all this stuff.....but 1 and 2 are the most ideal....
usually sexual abused children dont say it out but by their actions if your smart or have been a victim you would know....do you have a maid?
Pray fervently for him
I will advice you take him for special deliverance becos it may Bε̲̣̣̣̥ a spiritual problem.
put him in prayer,secondly, do not kiss,play or make love wit ur husband in his present,stop him 4rm watching movie above his age,phongraphy, God bless u.
#SingingVigorously.
Prayer is d key, prayer is the key, prayer is the master key
Jesus started with prayers and ended with prayers, prayer is the master key.
A "song" is enough for the wise
dear sis, i will advise that while you are trying to discipline him, you should also go to God in prayer....there is no issue that God cannot resolve....
ok, before all the ignorant comments starts pouring in let me say this from my own humble opinion. your son is a curious 8 year old and he is translating it inappropriately. punishing him would not make it stop, you need to sit down with your husband and have a conversation with him. tell him why you think his behaviour is wrong and why he needs to stop. especially touching his younger sister. you need to talk to your daughter to so she can tell you what he has done to her, and make sure you talk to her about it been wrong and she should scream the next time he tries it. my brother was like that when he was younger, you are not alone. no need to be ashamed. he might not have seen it in your house, but there is a chance he picked up on such from people around on in school. If you have house helps or relatives he is close with, you would be shocked they have been sexually molesting him. like I said it happened to my brother. you need to nip it as soon as possible. good luck and also pray for wisdom and understanding.
Read Dr Maria Montessori's spiritual embryo to make sense of it and pray to God for a way out
Prv 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Ask the father who's bn bringing home. Do u have a maid or cousin or any girl/lady in the house? As much as u can, try and get rid of any lady older than him within the house. You need to watch him closely. Get him some games that can occupy his mind. Get toys and don't keep him away from his games and toys. He needs something to occupy his mind.
Finally, he needs your prayers and love not worries. Spend more time with him than you have. He ll be fine by God's grace.
Lol, porn tinz..
I believe God has not stopped his good work, with God all things are possible, always pray for him, his problem might be spiritual. Thanks
ashawo de ur family or ur husband own. check well.
that trait no fly come from sky.
Go to MFM for deliverance
Take him to MFM Prayer City for Deliverance. And deal with this from the roots once and for all
Prv 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
Prv 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Linda do not let people think that what they say of ibo people is true .some say they lack self respect and dignity in communication and behaviour
U are today the most respected blog in Nigeria apart from Bellanaija so please yank off this absolute rubbish cos u will become a mother someday soon.
The charly boy nonentity u vve hoisted up in the past is enough dirt for us on this blog till next year
A word is enough for the wise
He must have seen it some where.
How much time do you spend with him in a day.
secondly,that is also demonic you should take him for deliverance
Instead of worrying so much please sit him down and have a heart to heart talk with him like mother and son, find out from him if someone no matter who, has abused him before,by touching or anything you can think of. Don't scare him, make him understand he can trust you with any information.Then make it a habit to teach him that it is devil's children that exhibit such attitude. Be the one to take him to sleep at night and use that as an opportunity to talk to him until he sleeps.Develop a closeness that gives you opportunity to talk to and listen to him. goodluck.
My guess is that the young man in mention here might have been sexually abused by somebody. The mum has a lot of questioning to do
Take him to MFM for delverance and start praying too
Go and see a prophetic pastor.this is not normal
Check your nanny/househelp asap! Do you have your siblings living with you? Do u live in a flat and you have neighbours? Please check those areas too, he has been exposed to what he's not meant to see. Let him see a Specialist who can help in getting to the bottom of the origin of his behaviour.You will call him and have a heart to heart chat with him and explain what he's doing is bad.If however he doesn't stop and he still continues, my dear get a very good ruler and smack those knuckles every time you catch him or he's reported,that pain will remind him of more to come if he keeps misbehaving. And please keep his sister away from him and watch him closely like a hawk because he might still be doing it secretly and not in the open like before.
1. YOU NEED TO TAKE HIM TO SEE A SHRINK(ESPECIALLY ONE WHO HAS EXPERTISE WITH KIDS. ENGAGE HIM BETTER..
2.FIND OUT WHAT ACTIVITIES HE LIKES BEST AND ENSURE IS EXTENSIVELY ENGAGED IN THAT ACTIVITY AND HAS LESS TIME TO DWELL ON HIS FEELINGS.
3. BE MORE VIGILANT. CHECK OUT FOR BAD INFLUENCES FROM FRIENDS, NEIGHBOURS AND HOUSE HELPS.
4.PRAY HARD ABOUT IT.
this is not a case of punishment . Call him n talk to him . Make him knw dat wat he his doing is bad. Use bible stories n teach him... Tell him if he continues he will go to hell. Then also pray for him.
So sorry abt, bt in dis kind of case, what is needed is prayer cos I believe dat is d only way. B'cos it may be a phisical something bt spiritual for a 8yrs child to find himself in such condition.
Wow! This is quite sad, as a mother I understand ur feelings, punishment can't solve the issue at hand.
You need to seek psychlogical help medically dont forget with God all things are possible. Don't cast him out, no smoke without fire. You boy will be for signs and wonders IJN. Praying for you
I feel for u as a mother. My first advice is pray, take all to God in pryer. Then the second thing is call ur son to ur room as a mother, ask him lovingly who taught him all the sexualn stuffs, there is a high tendency someone is abusing ur son sexually. Let him know that if he tells u nothing will happen to him and u would not beat him, cos d person abusing him might av threatened him that if he tells anyone he would die or his parents would beat him. Once he tells u, pls whoever d person is, severe all contacts with dat person and ur son. Also lovingly let him know such things are not good and let him know d advantages and disadvantages. Let ur husband too talk to him as his dad, becos boys always look at their dad as their role model. Do all these lovingly and prayerfully and i know by God's grace he will turn a new leaf.
So sorry Madam. Its veri sad. Do u have a maid? If yes,I think u shud chck her. Den call him n talk 2 him. If possible,scare him dat he'l neva see u n Daddy again if he continues lyk dat. Does he sleep in dsame room wit his sister? If yes,pls seperate dem. Then,pray. Pray 2 God 4 intervention n God 'l help u. Goodluck. Bee
Obiviously your son has been watching a porn movie or seen u and your husband having sex severally times. At this stage it is still easy to curb this awful habit from him. Simply smack hard each time you hear or see him do this act I think that the only way he can stop this. I think he is too young to talk him out of this.
No more dstv for him . At kid parties you would be shocked at the suggestive dance of 5yr olds. Put him in a sports group quick quick.
I think he needs prayers and more discipline.butt if you're to harsh on him,it won't do him no gud cos he'd keepp being curious.just pray
He needs to see a counselor. Children are curious and experiment but his seems a bit much and too constant. He might have been/might be being sexually abused.
You shouldn't be smacking him.
My sister, in my own opinion, you need to be very prayerful about this situation. You also need t find out if he has been abused bybany close relative because if you say he has not learnt from the tv or Internet, where then does he learn these things? You willnalso need to investigate who his friends are both at school, church/mosque and at home. Finally you will need to start giving him punishments that ar,e not corporal. Restrictions, deprivations etc. The carrot and stick approach. Look for those things he likes and withdraw them from him. Lock him up in a room with just his books and food and water in thebtimeof the day when his friends are out catching fun. Reward is siblings for good behaviour with gifts and treats while he watches and let them come home and talk about it to his hearing. Then let him know that all these are happening because he is being a bad boy.
Try to talk more to him and let him earn your trust. Most importantly, let God be in control of this situation. Children are our precious gifts from him, like arrows we must aim them to hit the right targets, that is GOD'S assignment to us.
it is so obvious dat someone don do ur son oooooooo, ask him who don touch am.....weda na ur house help, teacher.....d list is endless.
You and the dad must be accessible and open for communication, it will help the boy come to you to tell you everything without any fear.Be his FRIEND and not his parent. Pray for him without season and show him Gods way.God will see you through
Critical situations calls for critical measures,and with dat in view,u need to sit himdown his age notwithstanding,and him know d evil in what he's doing. Since he's been able to show such odd maturity on a negative note,u shouldn't also shy away from educating him as an adult.
Asides dat if u av a househelp or other adults at home,u also need to be watchful. Coz I almost learnt fast from d numerous househelps we had then and a neighbour,who was already in senior sec sch,while I was still in primary school.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310
He shld get busy, like engage him with activities dat would intrest him, eg swimming, lawn tennis, tykwando, computer lesson, piano lesson he would be too busy to remember any of those nasty altitude, n he shld stay of movie n not share same bed with his sister.
A house help or a close relative may have exposed him to such act. I feel your pain. I'd suggest you seek medical attention/therapy for him. You will be fine. *hugs*
I no fit shout.
All I can say is 'tell it to d lord' he is our maker, n he has solutions to all our problems.
Punish the boy oooo. Spare the rod...... Hope you guys do not watch adult movies with the young man. Need to retool the young man head.
The right step should be to ask him calmly and sweetly how and where he learnt those things. You will be pretty amazed what you will find out. After comes the talk therapy about the dangers of his actions and why he should stop it. The last continuous step is to monitor, watch and counsel him.... This I'm afraid will last till he leaves the house.
Mehn Linda upload comments nw.
He shud be closely monitored,heavily counseled and taught religious doctrines or else he bcomes a full blown rapist or contracts STDS.
Tough one. Seems like li'l boy has been over-exposed to tv/porn/adult convo/bad company.
Dunno what to say sef.
Maybe should start from checking up ur stewards...cos my elder bro basically had same issue...turned out to be,when everyone has left d house,d house help practice all dat on him(7yrs old kid)wen it was found out,she was sent out ,n the little boy cautioned n disciplined..sit him down talk to him,counseling is all he needs....
nauti nauti
Take him for deliverance!!!prayer city,that after u talk to him and also go thru wat ur husband does on a regular...it could be an evil link or trait!!do a lot of prayers and later take him for deliverance at prayer city mfm!!!this is ur son(ur seed)ur future.this are strange times...stay bold God loves u.
PLS!!!! TAKE HIM AWAY FROM YOUR DAUGHTER, my brother tried touching me when i was young and glory be to God I did not falter into such lifestyle. As for your son he needs prayers, fast and pray for him, make him join the church children's fellowship or something. it is not too late to instil the word of God into his life. boys his age should never be curious. AND BEAT THE HELL OUT OF HIM!!!!
ITS YOU AND THE DOMINANT ADULT MALE(S) IN YOUR HOUSE
at that age he is discovering himself and imitating what he reularly sees in his young life
see a child shrink, and you all will figure out HOW TO EXORCISE THAT POTENTIAL RAPIST BEFORE HE MATURES
Pray for him.mayb its a curse dat has been comitted by sumone in ur family or ur hubbyz family,now ur innocent son is d one dat d curse has fallen on.jst pray about it.sounds spiritual.
Dear worried mother i think they must have possessed your 8 year old son all you need is prayer,take him to real man of God for deliverance if he seems not to desist from this act,practically discipline him he is never too old for you to handle he is still a child,in the book of Matthew 11:12 it says And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force.
Also i can vividly remember a verse in the bible that says spare the rod and spoil the child.
You need to act now before you loose your son to evil people.
Best of luck dear.
If u av a house help pls check her out and investigate d issue,maybe he/she is using him and introducing him to rusbbish! Av had a help who was a lesbo bt luckily we found out on time and sent her away! Let's stand up for our kids and be d mothers we should be!
wooow this is scary ooh . 1st of all do u have a house girl ? jus askin oh nd have u spoken to him and asked him y he likes to kiss (u cud ask him calmly nd not impose fear ) .jus sit him down nd talk to him . i no people wud come nd say take him 2 church 4 deliverance or sumfin , dat wudnt b nice.
Hmmn... A player at 8. Must've inherited it from one of you.
Ok, on a more serious note, take that boy for deliverance. A demon is working here.
wow, he is surely too young for all this. Snce he has never bn on the internet and doesnt watch such on TV. I'd say u chek out who his friends are. He prolly picked such behavior in school.I think u shud sit him down and talk to him heart to heart, try finding out how he knows all this, punishment might not solve the case. So, draw out his thoughts using the simplest words.I hope my suggestions'd work out. *hug*
Hmmm dis is srios.first of all na to pray incase juju dey wory am.den u advice him sriosly.av a heArt to heart talk with him and giv him sex education dats actualy what he needs.nekkyvile
Spare the rod, spoil the child. Train him like he's in military school.
Janetty
he wld change as tym goes on , stop bothering ur mind , He has a creator now . He wld put him right .
When i was about 2 or 3 when our parents had gone out in the morning our housegirl would open the door for a guy who would have sex with her right there on our living room with me and my baby sister watching.
It has to be someone whom he is exposed to....do you have a househelp or relative who is living with you at home. He didnt just think it up, he has been exposed to it. so find out who it is and get that person out of his life.
Either the person watches inappropriate TV with him or does it right in front of him.
I pray he gets over this cause i can imagine how embarrassing it is for you.
U have to smack his ass till it pops out of his head! So wrong! Or just take him to Ori-oke for prayers....this is beyond normal
Lol!
PS. He shdnt be trying to touch his sis. Hope u know that? So u better check that
Apart from Prayer like everyone suggested, I think its time you sit your son down and have the dreaded "sex talk" with him, otherwise, in his curiosity, he will find out the wrong way. You are his mother, dont shy away from the task.
as mother, u should always pray 4 ur children bcos d devil targets children from very tender age so i'll advice u 2 take it 2 God in prayers.
Your situation is one no mother can pray to be in,I sincerely sympathise with you. It is said that the biological composition of some people make them more sexually aware than others. My suggestion is that you seek medical attention for your son,a doctor can tell whether that behaviour is normal or not. And while you are at it pray,and get the help of people you know can help and not mock you to join you in prayer. I know God will make everything alright.
U r a sad and bitter person and u need help to get out of your frustration. I advise u look for a therapist.
PLEASE TALK TO PASTOR PRAISE FOWOWE. You can check out any Fridays ThisDay Newspaper for his column. This is his area of calling.
AND PRAY AS WELL
Helloooo.... Did u say it might not be ordinary ? Wake up ! This is a jet world . Let him see a therapist... Its a medical or physical condition . Must we attach spiritual to everything ? Too bad !
Best comment. I want to believe you live in a western country, not all these religiously-blindfolded bigots. Everything to them is pray and fast.
in my earnest opinion,this child has being exposed to sexually oriented stuffs.
wu takes care of them while u re gone,haus help,even older relatives can not be trusted;wu and wu does he play wt,becos other children arund him affects his behaviour,seriously i feel there is someone arund wu is misguiding him....so its ur duty to find out;and pls be guided the way u talk to him about this cos u might jst make him more curious.seek proper guidance from sex experts,for his age i rule out sexual hormome inbalance shaa.
Ensure he doesnt ve access to pornographic movies and internet sites,buy him lots of novels for his age and toys to occur him at his free period,teach him the word of God and even how to pray more fervently,for now resist playmates from outside the house until u solve this mystery.
my little cousin was a victim until his mum made properly investigation and behold its ws a ten yr old haus girl molestating a 4 yr old.above all put it in prayers,Gods in control.
Well said ....
I concur. Buy a nannycam and put around the house to monitor your househelp when you are away. It could be a previous maid that molested your child too. Take him to the hospital.
Eem u don't give other peoples phone no on the internet. And if u have not heard there is thid thing called E-mail
Madam there is this thing called Always
I'm so disappointed to read people write "pray". Prayer is fine but works has to be involved. It is evident your son has been exposed to sexual behavior. A child will not talk unless exposed to language, will not pray unless exposed to prayer, will not read unless exposed to books, you.catch my drift?
Look for a person in his life who is taking extra attention to him.
Child peadophiles? Really? Do you know d meaning of the word peadophile?my dear it means an adult that prefers sexor things of a sexual nature with a child so therefore a child can never be a peadophile
Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child
You're an insensitive person. I actually feel sorry for your children. People like you have children who might suffer sexual abuse and hide it out of fear of you. Smh
My kinda guy!!! Am a boobs boy too
Its either hes being abused sexually or his friends.. Derz a friend of myn whose cousins watched porn wiv frnds without d adults knowledge. One day, dey tried it on deir own n filmed it wiv deir camera. In d video of 6 kids, siblings were not allowed to touch each oda. dey exchanged wiv deir frnds. I'm talkin of kids between 8-14.
Yes you actually spoke from wisdom. Me likey
I was sexually molested by a female househelp growing up and am a female..it causes has a lot of psychological problems and makes you intensely sexually curious..in my opinion being violent with him will not make him stop but will make him secretive and probably look for more depraved means of satisfying his sexual curiousity. He needs your understanding and the help of a qualified child psychologist..i was able to overcome the effects of abuse cause of my parents that made sure i got the help i needed..God be with you and your family.
This behaviour could be intepreted in many ways
1) He might have been sexually abused by someone.
2) He goes to school, he has friends and (you will be shocked by what other children see in their respective homes)and he might just be acting out what he hears or sees.
Now let's talk about solutions, I will advise you see a child psychiatrist and a sex therapist who best know how to handle this. I will also advise you and your husband not be hostile towards your son as he may begin to hide these things from you which may lead to worse things.
Boys are generally more sexually curious at a really young age and his puberty might just be setting in a tad bit too early. I wish you the best.
Grrr... these 'spirococo' comments like 'prayer is the master key' and 'he needs deliverance' just annoy me! I must state that while this is true; it doesn't really help her!!! Can't we just be real people and offer good advice or keep quiet if you don't have anything constructive to say??? *Finished my venting*
well wat i have to say fr dis as a lady s dat yu re a woman God has blesd yu with so many gifts one of dem s being able to convince one with words wat yu say..first of all yu nid to do s sit down with yur son and tlk to im,ax hm questions,like how he fells nd wat makes him do those tins es doing,do dis tell hm to trust yu,make him feel relax nd so he will be open to you,yu tlk to him and also refere him to bible passages,children re definiteli afraid of heaven and hell stori dey will wnt to do any fin to please God,tell him God hates such tins..after yur lenty tlk,welcome him as a son,pray together..nd afta dat keep praying fr him in yur own secrete corners dats yur job as his mom..I WANT YU TO KNOW SMETIN GOD KNWS DAT YU RE CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF DAT CHILD DATS Y HE GAVE HIM TO YOU,ALLL YU VE TO DO IS PLAY YUR PART ND TELLL GOD TO PLAY HIS...HE SAID CHILDREN RE BLESING ND SO YOUR CHILD IS A BLESSING NOT A CURSE AND BY SO,HE CAN ONLY BRNG BLESSINGS TO YOU NOT CURSE OR FEAR OR BEING ASHMED...ITS WELL,WSH YU ALL D BEST..M BARACHEL(WILL B PRAYING FR YUR FAMILI TOO)
THIS GUY MUST HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED, I WANT TO RELATE DIS STORY TO DAT OF A GIRL NOTICE AROUND MILE2 LAGOS EARLY THIS YEAR. SHE WAS ABUSED BY AN OLD MAN LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH DIS GIRL PARENT.SO MADAM SEAT DIS BOY DOWN ASK QUESTION MAYBE IT WILL HELP OR VISIT PROFESSIONALS ABOUT IT.
well wat i have to say fr dis as a lady s dat yu re a woman God has blesd yu with so many gifts one of dem s being able to convince one with words wat yu say..first of all yu nid to do s sit down with yur son and tlk to im,ax hm questions,like how he fells nd wat makes him do those tins es doing,do dis tell hm to trust yu,make him feel relax nd so he will be open to you,yu tlk to him and also refere him to bible passages,children re definiteli afraid of heaven and hell stori dey will wnt to do any fin to please God,tell him God hates such tins..after yur lenty tlk,welcome him as a son,pray together..nd afta dat keep praying fr him in yur own secrete corners dats yur job as his mom..I WANT YU TO KNOW SMETIN GOD KNWS DAT YU RE CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF DAT CHILD DATS Y HE GAVE HIM TO YOU,ALLL YU VE TO DO IS PLAY YUR PART ND TELLL GOD TO PLAY HIS...HE SAID CHILDREN RE BLESING ND SO YOUR CHILD IS A BLESSING NOT A CURSE AND BY SO,HE CAN ONLY BRNG BLESSINGS TO YOU NOT CURSE OR FEAR OR BEING ASHMED...ITS WELL,WSH YU ALL D BEST..M BARACHEL(WILL B PRAYING FR YUR FAMILI TOO)
The only thing is dat he needs prayes.he maybe influnce by wat he sees or see people doing or sum1 hv told him about sex.I think prayer will help.take to pastor T.B joshau.u must be fast nd keep him away 4rm sis be4 she gets affected
Madam. this is the solution get this mesage by Dr. d. k. Olukoya (1st of october) in any of MFM branches.Title Special Compilation it is MP 3 CD LISTEN VERY Carefully to Your marriage and your ancestors.He got that character from your family line
Madam. this is the solution get this mesage by Dr. d. k. Olukoya (1st of october) in any of MFM branches.Title Special Compilation it is MP 3 CD LISTEN VERY Carefully to Your marriage and your ancestors.He got that character from your family line
the most ignorant comment i have seen here is 'take him for deliverance, he has spiritual problems' seriously people...this is a psycological thing, he only needs d right council and yes prayers to back it up...pls madam if you read this comment dont take your child to a place where he will feel threatened (people yelling prayers at him)talk to him, see a professional that can help..his case isnt abnormal
First, commit the matter to Jehovah and ask for His help. There are no impossibilities with Him. Pray as though it all depends on your prayers.
Secondly, seek medical counsel; it could be as a result of hormonal imbalance.
Thirdly, investigate if your child has been sexually abused by someone (either living with you or at school) - you have to be tactful about this, though. Most times, when children pick up this abnormal sexual drives, its as a result of some sexual abuse - either in the form of sexual intercourse, or caressing, or if an adult allows your child play with the adult's sex organs. It could also be due to porn exposure - you are sure you are in control of what the child watches when you are with him; what of when you are not with him?
Fourthly, counsel your child, gently, with the Word of God. Get him to confide in you and tell you how he feels without holding back anything. Try to find out the source of the problem before figuring out a solution. Avoid assumptions. It may not be what you think.
Re-educate his mind. Re-inspire him. Let him know he has the power to control his thoughts. You could also keep his mind involved in more productive ventures - like reading storybooks and writing essays on them. Be sure to reward him for this in order to keep his interest. You could also consider buying him a video game if he has none.
Lastly, as much as possible, please limit your acts of punishment. Be sure to discipline him from time to time if he persists but don't make this a regular practice. It would only, eventually, make him more hardened and determined to continue and with time, he would develop methods of concealing his habits from you.
I wish you well...
Eem u don't give other peoples phone no on the internet. And if u have not heard there is thid thing called E-mail
You need to take him to a therapist
If u are sure u ve never exposed him to sexual acts - on Tv and internet, then somebody must have done so. He is still a child, therefore couldnt have manufactured those acts by himself. I strongly believe like most contributors, that son was or is still being sexually molested. If not in school, family friends, then at home. Carefully check his environment, people around him. It could be someone you least expect. Punishing him will worsen it. Even as u pray and seek child psychologist's opinion, i advise you make children especially ur son see u as his friend despite being their mum. U have to devote time to this. Instead of beating, pamper him so he could confide in u. D purpose of doing this is to enable u understand where or who d source of his problem is so u can eliminate that 'source'if its a member of ur household or family friend, u do away with d person, if its school, change school,if its Tv or internet, u deny him that. A psychologist/therapist will do his part but if the 'source' of d problem is not removed,he keeps going back.in conclusion, let him feel free with u to make d job easier. I will like to know as u progress because i have helped many children out of similar situations and will like to learn more ways. Its nothing to be ashamed of. It happens. Good luck!
I am pity for the young boy, getting accustomed to sex at early stage of life could be very dangerous, he might become errotic and lustful at later stage of his life which might affect him negatively. I know what am saying, same thing happened to me, i got accustomed to sex at the age of four, it affected negatively during my childhood and adolescence stage which i would not reveal to anybody except to GOD, i know what have gone through because of this immoaral and nasty act. Thank to the words in holy QURAN that made me to get over from this obcene act at the age of twenty three.
Very good advice..
It's funny how some people are so quick to jump into conclusion that the child's possessed and he needs deliverance. Why don't you guys locate the family and deliver the child urselves kmt.
Neways, dear worried mother... your child has been molested somewhere along the line or it may be that he's been exposed to sexual materials. Talk to him, ask him where he learnt all the sexual stuffs from. Pet him, dnt be angry at him. What he needs now is your utmost attention.
check your domestic staff.
Whether it's early in the morning or late at night...doesn't matter. This is a serious issue and you didn't have to comment. Nonsense!
This sounds to me like a case of child abuse- find out who your son has been spending time with and take things from there- punishing your son will only make things worse
You have adviced her well, yours won't spoil as you are helping others. Amen
I think he was sexually molested at some point in his life ,most likely by someone close to your family . Also it's important to understand that even at age 8 a child could just be curious.
Thats a pretty silly comment from you
All these religious charlatans have come with their nonsensical advice.mtshewwww.
Madam ur son has been abused.Take him to a child psychologist ASAP. Leave all these ignorant spiritually fake Nigerian zealots alone.They know no better and will remain in their myopic onesided spirtualism.
Sexual Abuse. Speak to your children openly and freely. Stop trying to avoid the issue and your daughter may also be a victim.
YOUR CHILD WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED/MOLESTED. TAKE IT FROM ME... I AM A GROWN WOMAN WHO KNOWS THIS.
Prayer + see a child psychologist-- Both and not one without the other... All the best... It is well..
Whether it's early in the morning or late at night...doesn't matter. This is a serious issue and you didn't have to comment. Nonsense!
You are also as silly as sasha fierce
as a psychologist, i would recommend you take your child to counseling, because i believe in all honesty, that someone close to him has sexually abused your child, and he is just replaying what he has learned. I think the quicker you take him to a therapist the better for him, and your whole family. Goodluck.!! And please dont do the african thing by leaving it to prayer, your child needs help, for God helps those who helps themselves!!
Maybe he has been sexually abused. Instead of beating him as people in this part of the world do, try talking and tell him that such acts are sinful in the eyes of God. Make him understand that there are good and bad touches and ask him question as to his being touch in those ways. You will be shocked at what you find out. Make him promise to report any such acts in the future, especially if he is coaxed not to tell you. All the best.
SEXUAL ABUSE IS ENDEMIC IN NIJA..WITH ALL THE HOUSEHELPS AND EXTENDED FAMILY ALL OVER THE PLACE...SIT HIM DOWN AND GENTLY ASK QUESTIONS...HOPE ALSO THAT NO HOUSEHOLD MEMBER HAS BEEN SHOWING HIM SEXUALLY GRAPHIC MOVIES....INCLUDING NIGERIAN HOME VIDEOS WHICH HAVE BECOME INCREASINGLY AND HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE FOR MINORS...DO UR HOMEWORK!!!
He might be experiencing somethings which you aren't aware of. Talk to your child privately or have his dad talk to him.
locking him up will make him worse when he grows up..he'd probably be a sexual predator...take him for psychological help, pray and teach him from the Bible...He needs to know that such things are bad..
Gettaway from here! Kmt
If you listen to the advice of all these Pentecostal freaks you will never solve the problem. Your child is being abused madam. Don't panic, just fight for him and protect your children and back it up with prayers. Also, seek professional counseling for him, not from a pastor. He does not need judgement and condemnation to hell fire, he needs patience, love and understanding right now. Good luck!
U nid to see a shrink babe..u'v got some loose screws!smdh may God not let u go through bad stuffs!
Good advice! To those saying deliverance n fasting is the way, I wonder WHY you all have brains! Like seriously! And you lot will be claiming "educated" smh
i think ur boi need deliverance or you check d kind of frnd he keeps
Take him to a sex counsellor.
I suggest you talk to Praise Fowowe
I think you son has been abused by an adult or his being exposed to porn
Nigerians nd deliverance , Any problem deliverance hia , nobody says u shudnt oh ,yea u wud pray about it but do u need a vision to tell u wat d problem is. arhhha fast pray dry fast nd co but una wey dey say d fast nd pray n holy nd good sef hiiissss. d child an issue yea u wud pray ova it nd talk to d child its not lik he has a disease or sumfin . children r very hard to talk to and understand so he needs extra care 2 tackle dis mata , no b to go 2 church were dey can say na sins of d papa or mama.
check your housegirl
There is a very high probability that this child has been sexually abused......
Probably by someone really close to your family.......
Please don't go violent on him, he needs to get this medically treated and alot of prayers from you and your husband....
I wish someone helped me with this at age 4.....
God help you raise a great son...
Do you have a househelp? Check very well o. Kokoro to n je efo inu efo lo wa....
I AGREE. AT 8, HIS BEHAVIOUR IS INFLUENCED BY WHAT HE SEES AROUND HIM ON A REGULAR BASIS.HE IS AN INNOCENT AND US IMITATING WHAT HE SEES. THE 'TEACHER/ABUSER' HE IS IMITATING SPENDS LONG TIME WITH HIM
WHERE DOES HE SPEND MOST OF HIS LIFETIME? HOME AND SCHOOL, PLAYGROUND BUT MAINLY FIRST TWO.YOU,DAD,TEACHERS,PLAYMATES,DOMESTIC HELP OR ANY ADULT CONTACT ARE SUSPECTS FOR RAISING A POTENTIAL SEX PERVERT/RAPIST
CHECK YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY LINE FOR PERVERTS, SAME TO HIS DAD (AS IN SPERM-DONOR DAD BIKO) AND BIOLOGICAL FAMILY-CUS THAT WILL BE GENETICS
OBSERVE HIM FULLY, IF POSSIBLE DOCUMENT WHAT HE DOES/WHEN HE DOES IT/WHO HE IS MOST FAMILIAR DOING IT WITH
TAKE HIM TO A PSYCHIATRIST AND PSYCHOLOGIST VERY REGULARLY. TAKE HIM TO A DOCTOR TO CHECK FOR IMBALANCES TOO.
BE OPEN MINDED AND YOU WILL SEE THE CAUSE AND POSSIBLY CURE OR KNOW HOW TO BEST MANAGE IT. HE IS TOO YOUNG BUT STILL HE IS YOUR KID SO TEACH HIM ABOUT CONSENT,AND CONSEQUENCES IN CHILD FRIENDLY LANGUAGE.
*BTW LIB AM ANGRY CUS SOME NIGERIAN MEN OPENED THEIR DIRTY MOUTH TO SAY THEY CHEAT BECAUSE WHEN HE SEES NAKED FLESH HIS BLOOD RUSHES TO HIS PENIS SO HE LOOSES CONTROL AND HE MUST SLEEP WITH THE PERSON. I WONDER IF HIS DAUGHTER STARTS GROWING BREAST AND HAIR IN HER VAGINA AND ALL WILL THE BLOOD RUSH TO HIS PENIS AND HE RAPES HIS OWN DAUGHTER? WILL HE RAPE HIS OWN YOUNG SON? VERY VERY HIGH RATE OF PAEDOPHILIA BECAUSE MEN SAY THEY LOOSE CONTROL ON WHAT THEY SEE AND MUMU WOMEN SUPPORT THAT NONESENSE TALK.
WOMEN, WE KNOW WE DONT 'LOOSE CONTROL' PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAKE FULL CONTROL OF YOUR CHILDREN,YOU AND YOUR WOMB KNOW THEY ARE STILL YOUNG, MALE PERVERTS AND THEIR DICKS SEEM NOT TO KNOW. DONT TRUST THESE MEN AROUND YOUR OFFSPRING OH WHETHER BIOLOGICAL (BROTHER HUSBAND BIKONU)
As everyone has said, check ur household. Someone there is doing something illicit to that boy. Secondly, please invest in IP cameras for your house. That way you can monitor your house while you're out either on ur phone, laptop, ipad etc. That things has saved lives.
The worst thing you can do to him is punish him; and no he is not possessed and doesn't need deliverance. You need to sit him down and talk to him. I was sexually harassed when I was about 5 and that opened my eyes to a lot of things from a tender age. I'm a mum myself and watch out for dodgy relatives around my child. Goodluck.
Did you watch that gory video sent in sometime this year of some girl not more than 9YEARS OLD HAVING SEX WITH A LITTLE BOY NOT MORE THAN 3 OR 4 YEARS OLD?Trust me it was BAD! i cried watching the video it was a pathetic site.Annoying thing is the girl was FULLY aware of what she was doing because she kept peeping to see if anyone was watching her. Parents are too busy these days chasing other things, to know what is happening to their children. Please sit him down and in a loving way ask where he learn't this sort of behavior from. He is innocently doing it now, but if not curbed will grow up to become a nymphomaniac or a rapist. My dear also pray oh!Chai its so sad.
i'm a girl and i started touching myself when i was abt 7 or so...am not proud of it..i was molested when i was little. Your son must have been molested by someone close to the family..i dont think it was in school..just try and talk to him..dont be harsh or anything..kids dont like being shouted at..am pretty sure he will open up to you and tell you who touched him..and also pray.Goodluck
Tnx 4 bringing dis 2 my notice. I was sexually abused by our once upon a tym house help, a guy 2 be exact, d funi thing ws dat i ddnt undastand wat it ws so i blockd it out until i started readin dis type of e-mails, i began 2 luk at my sexual lyf in a diff way nd noticed d afta effects of dat abuse, i rememberd d first tym i watchd porn wit our neighbours kids nd oda frnds and actin it out later, i rememberd makin out wit my female cousins nd i did all of dis under d age of ten b4 enterin into sec skul. d 1st tym i had sex, we went 4 rounds nd den 4 d nxt few wks we had sex ova nd ova again lyk it ws no man's bizness, i ddnt stop at dat, 2wks into loosing my virginity i went 2 visit my sista in skul nd ended up havin sex wit one of her frnds nd it wsnt jst dat 1 tym, we did it again and again b4 my conscience kickd in nd i had 2 cut things off, dat ws b4 i read abt a similar case 2 dis nd afta thorough self examination, i ws vry mad at d male species dat i dumpd d current bf sharpaly cos he is as horny as me nd wsnt helpin matters atall. I realised 2 late dat i ws sexually abused at a vry tender age nd it is has affected nd is stil affectin my sexual lyf, nw i hv sworn dat my husband wil be d 3rd guy i hv sex wit. My point being dat had my moda been more attentive 2 us nd nt been overly consumed wit work nd leavin us 2 d mercy of d helps cos we sure did hav a lot of'em, i wouldnt be floggin myself so. So my dear, my best advice 2 u is 2 check out ur sons frnds nd d people close 2 ur family, u wil be suprised at wat u uncover, dia is no smoke witout fire. All d best.
my candid advice to you. 1. engage him in home schooling for now, so he doesn't bring you shame(take some time off work to monitor him closely)
2. take him to a therapist.for counselling and advice.
there is what we call labeling theory (A form of stigma that makes it difficult for those on whom it has been imposed to lead normal lives)please don't stigmatize him (it could be dangerous)
3. engage him with children's activity. go out with him to kids functions.
and above all always pray for him.
IF U HAVE A HOUSE HELP THEN THATS D CRUX OF THE MATTER.
Madam itk, it cld also be spiritual, mumu. ∂ anon watever said 'it cld be' meaning its nt certain. Na wa o
Excuse mi, who ar yu 2 say gettaway frm here? Yu'r very stupid. Its a suggestion nt a command. Moreso there's nothing prayer cannot do. We're all entitled to our own opinion. Idiot!
My dear sister. Do not despair. Your son may have been sexualy abused. It could be anyone, he probably has been aroused sexually and enjoyed the feeling. Also he may have been exposed to pornography i.e. either through someone watching it in yoru absence. But please please please do not hit him. You need to sit him down and talk to him. Speak to him intelligently and with love. tell him that you do not like his behaiviou an dthat it is very bad. You must also explain to him why it is very bad. Then you must gently ask him to tell you if anyone has touched him or kissed him etc etc. You must make him feel comfortable to trust you to tell you teh truth. He musnt feel that he would be punished for telling you the truth. Remember he is still a child and doesnt know what he is doing. When he tells you what happened, you must handle it with a lot of wisdom. I was sexually abused as well as a child and it affected me. I was abused by teh househelp and as a consequence I began to kiss and play naughty games with my cousins. I did things that I cant even type. But above all and infact first of all, pray. Before you do any of teh above, please talk to your creator. Cry out to HIM. Ask HIM to help you and reveal to you what happend to your child and what has casued this behaviour in your child. Also ask HIM to give you the wisdom to handle and deal with the matter. Then pray for your son and talk to him in love.
I remember reading a testimony that a lady said her 6 yr old daughter was acting similary o your son and after she prayed about it. It was revelead that her husband used to watch pornography and that left an openign and so an unclean spirit gained access to teh child and caused her to act that way. Thankfully it was dealt with. We can never underestimate the power of prayer and dialogue in love. It is well with you in Jesus Name Amen.
As a survivor of rape and someone who has spoken to others who have been sexually abused, I fully support what the first commenter said.
Your son may have been sexually abused (molested) without your knowledge.
Spanking him for his behavior, punishing him, or any other form of violence from you (his parents) is NOT going to help him. Instead, beating him is going to reinforce "not telling". You definitely don't want your child silenced, especially if the abuse is from a "trusted" family member.
Yourself and your husband need to have a serious talk about how to deal with this issue. Praying doesn't necessarily resolve such things. Back up your prayers with action.
Please Ma, be very observant.
Who do you trust to leave your children alone with to watch them for long/short periods of time?
Children listen to their parents instructions more than anyone else.
keep speaking to your son based on your faith on what is acceptable behavior in a loving way. Don't get tired. He's a child and needs to be constantly reminded to do many things.
Trust me, he's listening.
Be prayerful. So God can take whosoever is teaching him these bad habits far away from him.
Practice what you teach
Reward good behavior.
Be calm in your spirit. It is well. He will be ok.
your child has been sexually abused, you need to speak with him to find out when.
your child has been sexually abused
Your child has probably been abused and or is being abused as we speak. It could even be in the house to. Check everyone in contact with the boy and talk to him too. He needs therapy fast because it sounds like he has already become a predator and worse still can not distinguish good bad in between.
Something triggered this behaviour most likely abuse. Therapy and prayers. Good luck, beating will not stop it.
My husband is always telling me about the abuse little boys get from relations and house help ....
we will pray for you and your family
Nigerians, always concluding everytin is spiritual. The long and short of it all is that he has or is being sexually abused. Find out who, by talkin to him and makin him undastand ur there to protect him 4rm harm. I can c that the name Praise Fowowe an expert has bin mentioned more than once.In ur best interest, speak to him. It will all be ok.
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Reading via all the comments and it shows MANY are not educated or lack the basic Human exposure.
For crying out load he is 8yrs old.
Hello Mother,
1. Your need to talk him, at least he will be able to tell you his interest and fears. (Don’t make it sound like he is grounded or anything).
Please don’t beat him!
2. Find out more about is daily activities
3. It might be hormones and then you need a specialist, not just a Doctor.
4. Religiously, you need to prayer. (God is the Unchangeable Changer)
5. Talk to him more, no one can help you in that area.
Bless you
Yeah...gd advice, but the first Anon that comment on this gd advice, don't get it twisted, there's nothing prayer cannot do.prayer is the key remember that.
Have you ever had a female househelp? If yes, you might want to question the boy about any sexual experiences with the househelp. Its a possibility. And like Okeziekingsley said, you might want to talk to Praise Fowowe. It is well!
Kai, pls see a child dev. specialist asap. The Lord will see u through.
most kids boys age of 4 tend to be abuse, and later search for sexual pleasure anywhere, end up being trained by a professional who likes their curiosity and he is out in d society, having sex, sex and more sex with any girl, breaking heart and just doing it, so a therapist is needed, apart from prayers, u need to get close to him well enough to talk oh, cuz even with prayers it wnt jst disappear, urge for it and all, takes discipline, it is well with you and your family...............he was obviously abused or exposed to sex, not jst abt social site or internet...........someone did it with him
Children only copy what they see and hear what people do. From my observation, your 8yrs old boy has being abused by a female who is always spend more time with him either in your home or where they normally go always. For your son to be kissing and touching his breast, tried to molest your daughter, it means a female is doing something with your son. It seems your kids are always lonely that's why this female had the chance to abuse your boy. But if you investigate your daughter very well, you might get a clue. Things i would advice you to do.
1)You have to pray about it very well
2) Beat the child when ever you notice that devilish act.
3) Spend more time with your kids and always engage him.
4) Make sure your daughter must not be naked or wearing only pants when they are alone.
5) Try and replace his bad habit with something Good. Read the Bible to them always and let him be part of children church activities and drift his mindset away.
6) Make sure he should never be alone with a female, else he will think she will do thesame to him and he would like to get close.
7) Don't let him play with kids especially girls with only underwear on.
If you over look what is happening, things might get worse.
pls take your son to the deliverance team of catholic charismatic renewal of the catholic church around you. God will heal heal your son in Jesus name. Amen
pray for him, deliverance, take him to a prophet, must be spritual, take him to the mountain, only prayer can se kini yadaya.
No wonder churches are big business over there, so many sequacious sheeple devoid of any reasoning.
pray for him, deliverance, take him to a prophet, must be spritual, take him to the mountain, only prayer can se kini yadaya.
No wonder churches are big business over there, so many sequacious sheeple devoid of any reasoning.
pls take your son to the deliverance team of the catholic charismatic renewal in the catholic church around you. God will heal your son in Jesus name.amen
pls take your son to the deliverance team of catholic charismatic renewal of the catholic church around you. God will heal your son in Jesus name.amen
Anon 12: 28 and first commenter spoke correctly.
Dear worried mother, can u actually 100% manage wathe watches on tv? Impossible? These kids r smart! Does he hv a phone? Dou know what ge does at schl? During break with his mates, his seniors, his jnrs? Can u absolutely monitor a child in this world of today? Stop kidding urself. If he takes ur smart phone or tablet (i.e assuming he doesnt have one to himself) and says hes playing Angry Birds or any other game, do u knw he may actually be watching porn online? U need to be careful! We all need to be very vigilant oh! This boy has been abused severally right under ur nose and he is loving every minute of it hun
madam... you are not entirely telling us the truth, are you a career woma? are yo a hundred percent there for your child all day? do you have a house help? ius hse trusted? are you sure she has not been molestiong him? apart from school and home, where does he spend his time? neighbours house? what does he imbibe there? what movies does he watch? do they have parental advisory? be careful....... if it means beating the shit out of him then i advice you to do so, if you make him grow up with this sort of unruly behaviour, you might live to regret it, remmember, he will be an adult someday, dont let him grow up to be a rapist, make him spend quality time in the childrens church, sunday school and limit his acess to tv for now, this is absurd and you must tackle dis
Monkey no dey born dog! Anytin wey snake born must long! So if your pikin begin dey do like say 'Terry G' music dey play for im head...no look any further...ask you or your hubby how una solve una own when una be that same age! You be real akamu! Na for blog na im you dey seek for solution abi? Na we be your psycologists abi?! Msheeew...'second bass jare'!
He has been exposed to porn or seen adults/grown ups engaged in the act. The fact that he does these things and you see them shows that it has not degenerated past exposure to participation in the sexual act. A child that is involved in sexual acts will be secretive about it and will be very careful that you do not find out. Making a grab for breasts and trying to fondle is mainly an expression of curiosity. Sadly images like that tend to stay with kids for life and proper counseling is needed. I am speaking from experience, as a child i was exposed to material with adult content and those images are still haunting me till today.I became highly sexxed and the way some people overeat when stressed that is how i need sex when i am stressed.
check the people your child hangs around,your brothers,cousins, your husbands relatives even kids of family members and neighbours. Learn to talk to your child and reassure him of your love for him and how much his father is proud of him. Do not scare him and do9nt make it seem to him as if he has commited any sin. Let him know what is wrong or right but dont empghasize the sin part or you will end up allienating him or worse give him a sin/guilt mentality. I held that sin mentality for years and it kept me tied to sex
You have a potential rapist here. Most parents would not want to hear the truth. You have to keep him away from girls and boys.
Of course, you must take him to a therapist ASAP. He may have suffered from sex abuse or watched Porn films without your knowlegde, and had mastabated for years.
This is a very serious problem... It can happen to any child out there. He needs prayers too. He will tell the therapist what really happened to him. If you can be very nice to him, he will reveal a few shocking secrets. Pamper him...
annoymous 12.27 u are a moron if u say Linda is showing xrated pictures why do u keep coming back to read dem...
Make sure your son is never alone. Loneliness breeds evil taught and desires. You are too busy with work or looking for money, now your children are suffering its consequence. If you are always with them, this won't happen. What happens are they come from school or where do they go after school?
Look for something good to engage them after school until you are back from work.
Like home teachers both male and female. This is a psychological issue . That bad habit needs to be replaced with a good habit and good time management.
He needs more of your care, concern ( Monitoring) and most especially commit it to God.. There is nothing God can't do.
Actually am so sorry to say but it is spirit that is responsible for such act in a kid of that age and a bad one at that.. but not to worry much .. just take it to God in prayers and have faith.. Let the Spirit of the Lord swallow up the Spirit of such grevious iniquity.... I pray God will meet you at the point of your heart desire.. God bless you.
my dear, i did d same wen i wz at his age, if not younger, reason is dat i was molested by ma househlps n cudnt tell ma parents abt it cos of threats from dem, so pls i advise u speak to him or you monitor his activities with any member of ur household.
Why do Nigerians always resort to hitting for everything. How is spanking going to change anything. You are making it worse. From what I read there is probably sexual molestation going on or he has been touched inappropriately in the past. Your son is already suffering deeply and hitting him will worsen the situation. First thing you and your husband need to sit down and discuss what's happening. You also need to have a plan of how you all are going to talk to me. Have a couple of questions written down to ask him. Before you guys talk to him, monitor him very closely for a couple of days.If you have any housekeeper, baby sitter or cook at your home - Monitor them very closely too whether it's female or male. or You can also install CCTV security cameras in your home. Trust me those security cameras work wonders and has helped me a lot. If you can take a couple of days off work and go to his school to see how he functions and the folks he hangs out with that will be good.Please take note during your observations. After all the observations you've done sit him down and start asking him questions. Start with very easy ones and please don't yell or scream at him when you are talking to him. If he still doesn't want to speak, then you guys need to take him to a Psychologist that Specializes with kids that have been molested. I hope things get better.
If you folks dont know a remedy for a condition please do not profer solutions. Prayer is a great tool to overcome every circumstance but you have to follow it up therapeutically, be it drug, physical or mental therapy.
To suggest to the woman that it is only prayer that she needs is nonsensical.
This scenario painted by Linda might just be for thought provocation and not a reality. Either way we deserve to approach it intellectualy and not the Nigeria remedy for everything(PRAYERS) and things are getting worse by the day. HEAVENS HELP THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.
This child condition needs serious intervention be it medical or otherwise in his life now.
Mum, call his little guy in and seriously talk to him about his attitude and that his tendencies are not in conformity with societal norms and that he needs to change now. Dont whip him, that will make him to withdraw and you end up having a sex offender in your life. Very delicate issue. Approach him with respect and talk to him like an adult and if you are not making any leeway, please engage professionals. But dont let your husband start acting like a typical Nigerian man and start beating the crap outta him. Good luck and God's Grace.
Prayers, speak to him yourself and like an adult so he can open up, invite a specialist and of course, watch his company..
fellas: follow my blog:thelettersinlove.blogspot.com - -it's all about love, intimacy and trust..you would regret it!!
Spiritual problem. You better start praying and fasting! He requires deliverance!! God will help you!
Was beginning to wonder if linda's blog is now the spot for girls that want to advertise their body. Almost as if she is giving them the platform to show potential customers what's on sale. Just saying.
he sounds as though he might have been sexually molested or maybe he is still being molested, find a child psychiatrist in your area as soon as possible, so your child can get away from his abuser and start healing
It's so funny that some Nigerians automatically feel when there's a problem it's spiritual, no wonder churches are making so much money............, sweetheart please take your son to a child psychiatrist something has happened I your sons life u don't know about....... Heaven helps those that help themselves.......,.,
*sigh* I really sympathise with this lady. Reading thru people's comments, it really seems the child may have been abused sometime or maybe its just some kind of disorder as well. Its worrisome that after putting so much into trying to bring up a child, u still cant do it all. But the Lord is your strength, he is in charge of us all.
Brace up, don't punish the child. Try make him feel comfortable enough to open up to you then you can speak with a good psychologist .
I wish you the best and I can only imagine the sort of anxiety you must be living with.
Its either he watched 2 people having sex or watched porn with someone. He could also have been sexually molested. But from what I'v seen, the 1st and 2nd options are the most likely cause. If he is/was being molested, he won't be open about it. He'll withdraw or become stubborn.
He is only trying to replicate what he watched someone do in real life or movie so check your relativesan neighbours and househelps (even private lesson teachers).
Iv seen a boy of 4 years do that, apparently, his uncle would watch porn on his laptop while the boy was in his room. The boy doesn't understand its wrong and that's why he is doing it openly.
Growing up, a girl of 7 was caught with a boy of about 6 with their pants down and she was asking him to put his thing inside her. On questioning her, it was discovered that the househelp usually took her along to her boyfriends room because she couldn't leave her alone in the house so the child watched them do it.
Just talk to him about sex and explain why he shouldn't touch his sister and other girls. Tell your kids to let you know once someone touches them down there. My sister usually asked a neigbour's son to come and play with her son so he won't be lonely. The boy started resisting her touch or kiss. She talked to him gently and promised not to beat him if he told her why he didn't want her touching him and he told her the neighbours son was always touching his thing and kissing him when she asks him to comeover and they play in his room. That is how the poor boy would have become homo if not for God. Educating children about sex is very impt. People tend to push it aside and pretend they are religious so everything is ok. Now my sister tells her kids as soon as they are old enough to talk to tell her when someone touches them there because its wrong. So dear, stop beating him, talk to him nicely and ask him where he saw the things he has been doing.
*sigh* I really sympathise with this lady. Reading thru people's comments, it really seems the child may have been abused sometime or maybe its just some kind of disorder as well. Its worrisome that after putting so much into trying to bring up a child, u still cant do it all. But the Lord is your strength, he is in charge of us all.
Brace up, don't punish the child. Try make him feel comfortable enough to open up to you then you can speak with a good psychologist .
I wish you the best and I can only imagine the sort of anxiety you must be living with.
OMG!!!! i think he is high on drugs lol. u need to think him to d church cus he is possess.
DO NOT BEAT THE CHILD!! He will only start telling you what you want to hear to avoid being beaten and never the truth. You are lucky to know what he is doing so you have the chance to teach him. Some kids have been molested but can't talk to their parents about it for fear of being beaten and blamed. Its only when they grow up that they may tell some friends but the psychological burden simply doesn't let them enjoy their childhood.
Your child may just have been molested, i'm so sorry to say. You need to sit him down and talk to him to find out (in a non threatening setting). I know parents tend to over react but don't do that because he really doesn't know what he's doing. Now the problem with situations like this is that he may have been abused in your home or outside your home...it might be a family member or not, just dont overreact in front of the kid when u find out. Good luck and I hope this helps.
LWKMD!! Educated Nigerians???? Even nymphos are usually victims of abuse. Genetics, ok o.
Nne, e de pepper u sey ur 9yr old don de see her period so fast? Oya go buy padlock start to lock am oh cos with this bitterness u just exhibited here, u have a bigger issue to deal with right in front of u.
I totally agree
I think you son needs to see a child psychologist.No child is really sick, its usually a problem in their environment,could be helps n other relatives maybe be exposing him to things not appropriate for his age. u know child learn very fast. u need to sit with your child n ask him questions n then go see a professional. God will help you.Amen
....Nnaya
Serious konji mehn. But it will pass. Just talk to him, take him to see a specialist, flog him and pray for him. He'll change
Madam do u hv a female house help? If yes,im sure she must hv tried some funny stuffs wit him.sit him down,mk him Ųя frnd nd ask him questions,im sure he'l respond. Pls dnt b ashamed of him,he's Ųя son. Do dis b4 it gets out of hand.
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