Dear LIB readers: My 8 year old son is too sexually aware
From a LIB reader
I really need some advice. My 8 year old boy is too sexually aware. In the last few months I've noticed him touching himself, rubbing himself against anything he can find, and doing things that I'm too ashamed to type here even though I am anonymous. He is touching his younger sister in ways that are not brotherly. He's fixated with breasts and grabs any he sees. He also forcefully tries to kiss people, both male and female. I've smacked him several times but it hasn't stopped the behaviour. Just last week, his teacher told me he was caught kissing a classmate. I understand children are curious but I have no idea where he learnt all these. He has never seen that kind of behaviour in my house. I monitor what he watches on TV and I have never allowed him on the internet. My husband thinks he should be punished for his behaviour but what kind of punishment? Should I lock him up in his room till he's grown? I am a mother who is so ashamed of her own child. I'm afraid to take him out so he doesn't start harassing other people's children. I'm so confused and ashamed that its making me sick. Can you please help me make sense of this? What do I do to stop this behaviour?
Some many people here simply refuse to use their God given brains. All we Nigerians knw is deliverance and going from one pastor to the other without finding out the real problem. As a few smart people have said your child is most likely a victiom of sexual abuse. Get close to your son, don't shout at him just make him comfortable and ask him quetions calmly with time he'll reveal whoever has been molesting him to you.
Maybe he catch you and him papa dey fuck for night maybe una forget to close door him come do peeping tom come see am adult should be careful what dey do infront of their kids warning you know children learn and copy things fast not minding if its BAD!
Mumu people. Flogging or taking him to a specialist will only make him destroy him later in life. Talk to him and educate him. The reason why he is doing that in the first place is because he is curious. But if you can make him trust you and teach him, you will be surprised at how much kids can learn.
I have the same problem with my daughter that I am trying to deal with now. She plays kissing game with my house girl and touches herself when no one is with her. I have tried to talk her out of it, I have spanked few times and all.
The genesis of the problem was when she was abused at age 4 by her nephew of about 9 at times. This experience have made her so actually active and aware.
Right now, I try to monitor what she watch on Tv because I discover that this stimulates her mind and I also make sure her mind is per occupied without gainful activities to distract.
I am considering taking her to a child psychologist to attend her. It is a very painful and traumatic experience. We need to deal with it now or face the damaging consequences in the future.
You don't have to be ashamed of your boy. He needs your love and support now than anytime.
He may have been abused without your knowledge or exposed to a lot of graphic image playing out in his mind.
Don't forget to pray and commit him to God as well, beyond medical science nothing is difficult for God to do,
This boy's hormones are acting up. There's nothing wrong with him. I think I did worse at an even younger age. He'll outgrow it. Nothing to worry about.
Your child doesn't need prayers, fasting or any such thing, but I do think you should either take your child to see a child psychologist or try to talk to him himself, he seems to be exhibiting very common signs of a child that may have been abused. Shame on your part isn't the response, please trying talking to him or engage some who is well versed to talking to children to get to the route of what is causing the behaviour. I hope for his sake it isn't abuse
Am sure the boy most ve been abused , talking from exprience, my 4 yrs old little boy was abused by my husbands 6 yrs old niece, I actuAlly caught both of them in bed covered wt quit and I pretend that I was out of the room and came in suddenly and raised the quit and was shocked to see this little girl hand right on my sons penis and her pant down too wt my sons hand on hers too , I screamed and was shaking until my hubby came into the room and when we question them all my lil son cld say was : mum why are u screaming but the girl was crying and pleading to me not to tell her parent and I have to say yes and persuade her to tell me who has been doing this to her and she said no one but she watched it on the sky channel when she's alone in her room and she's been abusing my lil son each time she's on sleep over at my place ! I eventually told her parent and for my son I have to pray and also sit him down to let him understand that what his cousin has been doing to him was bad and if she or any one does it to him he shld let me know , but I try to avoid her around my son ! We all need to be very watchful , it's not just a girl child that can be abused , an abused girl can always abuse a boy child if she's been addicted to it
*Linda. I assume the 8 yr old is prepubertal, meaning that he does not have pubic hair/ large testis etc (INSTRUMENTS THAT MAKE MEN) If so, his hypersexual expression is not considered adolescent or adult sex drive. He is not yet able to produce the chemicals/ hormones that give us urges to have sex. Children at this age may experiment but not at the level described by this mother. That means the boy has been exposed to movies or real life events that are inapproriate for his age. This falls into the gategory of child neglect/ abuse. HE SHOULD BE REMOVED FROM THE HOME IMMEDIATELY. THE PARENTS ARE USUALLY THE 1ST SUSPECTS
Mayb he ws abused outside your home,I also hd a similar experience wen I ws young used to go to my neighbors n the girls der abused me,at that time I dint knw anytn n dey told me Neva to tel ny1,which I Neva did til date..but dt act Neva stopped n guess wt I tot the girls Arnd me d same tin I was tot by those useless aunties..I was 8 around then...I jst thnk God dey were nt guys cos i don't knw wht would v happened...so plz monitor him well,cld b ur hsehelp,uncles,aunties or neighbors or even some crazy teacher...I Clldnt tel my mum den cos she wld v battered me like ur doing to ur ill son now...don't make him hide this from u or start having some hidden behaviors...be his friend n and a mother...
Ayo specie!! you really are a specie!!but from what genus i do not know.'Take him to a sex counselor" of all the dumb s#&!! he is 8 for crying out loud!!Guess the sex counselor will tell him about the BIRDS and the BEES,right? And madam dont take ur son to any pastor,he might probably be raped by one of those megalomanic perverts. Talk to ur son,buy him candy,make him relax,hug and cuddle him and he will spill the beans,he will tell all and point a finger to the perv that has been taking advantage of his young mind. Then get the police to arrest the trash and do your own councelling on the kid. Dont make him remember the stigma of going to a shrink when he grows up.All he needs is love {after u kill the perv} and he will grow up to be a fine young man like me.And Handsome too!! Jesse,just saying!!!!
DO NOT BEAT HIM OHHH!!! PLEASE DON'T BEAT HIM! From experience, I used to be like that when I was a kid; started because I had been molested and because of some of the friends I used to play with. One of my aunts caught my cousin and I one time and she beat us; we didn't stop, we just made sure we did it when she wasn't around. BEATING YOUR CHILD WOULD JUST MAKE HIM HIDE IT FROM YOU AND HE WILL NEVER TELL YOU ANYTHING!!
1. So sit him down and gently get ask him questions. If he has been molested, don't just assume it was your house help. Ask him about friends, uncles,aunties, cousins, neighbours, infact any one you could have left him alone with. Do not over-react, I beg you. No screaming, no "mo gbe" or any of the sort. BE CALM 2. Take him to a PROFESSIONAL COUNSELLOR/PSYCHIATRIST (notice I didn't say the one at church) 3. ONCE AGAIN DO NOT BEAT HIM UNLESS YOU WANT TO RUIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM; I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU UR HUSBAND SAYS (IS HE GOD?!?). THE ACTIONS YOU TAKE WILL HAVE RAMIFICATIONS ON YOUR SON THAT WILL LAST WELL AFTER YOUR HUSBAND IS GONE!! 3. PRAY FOR STRENGTH AND WISDOM FROM GOD. YOUR SON IS NOT POSSESSED, JUST CONFUSED AND IN NEED OF YOUR LOVE
One last thing, why do Nigerians always scream deliverance, prayer and fasting when people ask for advice. With the amount of deliverance sessions, pastors, imams and revivals, you will think this place was heaven.
don't be ashamed of your son please, what you should do is have a heart to heart talk with him, express yourself and don't be shy to say adult stuffs. please make sure you talk to him first before seeking any form of external assistance to avoid getting him embarrassed and hiding from you. when you are talking to him let him know its just between the both of you, with that he feels secured. above all pray about it and show him love. wish you all the best
I like how people really comment on reader's mail and offer advice. That's the Nigerian spirit of helping each other. God bless each and everyone of those that commented and tried to help. But Linda, what I would really like to see is a reader's mail of what happened after following the advice given on here. Like a response, a testimony of the impact of the help and love received from your blog it will go a long way in helping other people to come out of their shells and talk about their problems too, since the reader mails help. Please work on this. Disturbed Girl.
Your child is a victim of sexual abuse as a baby. I bet you left him in the care of trusted baby sitters. Yup. He does not know what he is doing is absurd.
I'm a doctor. It is not likely that your son has been molested, it sounds more like a case of precocious puberty. The whole sex hormone apparatus has been prematurely activated. He needs the attention of a paediatric endocrinologist.
ITS A PITY HOW PEOPLE COMMENT WITH SO MUCH URGE TO HELP A STORY YOU (LINDA) COOKED UP!I'M NOT FOOLED A BIT, UR READERSHIP HAS OBVIOUSLY REDUCED SO YOU DO A SMART THING AND WRITE THIS COCK AND BULL TO SPARK REACTION WHICH YOU HAVE ACHIEVED. THIS STORY IS A SHAM. THE CONTENT SCREAMS SO...
Maybe you need to take him to a strict school or something, but watch him closely,and try talk to him, he is just 8, when he matures he will realize his wrong actions,don't be too worried, just monitor him much closely but moreover pray, if possible visit Jesus at the tabernacle(if catholic).
This is A very big issue. Madam u hv a lot to do now firstly, u and ur husband need to sit down and talk bat dis. Take out time to iron things out in ur house. Good luck.
Obinna u re right. D maid should b changed likewise his sch and also his parents should take out time to b with him always. He needs them more than ever now
You should pray for him, get a child psychologist to help you, Help him communicate with his emotions positively, educate him on the issues regarding his emotions and discourage him tactically , with time things will change.
I think you should pray with him putting your hand on his head , make him recite the following bible verses in the morning when he awakes and at night before bedtime, “The divine power of God has given us everything I need for live and Godliness through Jesus who has called me according to his glory and Goodness”, Make him recite "I will present my body as a living sacrifice pleasing and acceptable unto God for this is my reasonable act of worship, I shall not be conformed to the pattern of this world but I shall be transformed by the renewing of my mind so that I am able to test what Gods pleasing and perfect will is”, “For the law of life of the spirit has set me free from the law of sin and death and so sin shall never have dominion over me, for the same spirit that raised Jesus Christ from the dead dwells on my inside and quickens my mortal bodies to the glory of his holy name”, “I have been crucified with Christ never the less I live, the live I live in the body , I live by faith in the son of God who gave himself to redeem me”. “For God is able to make all grace abound unto me so that in every good work and good deed I would abound in all sufficiency having all that I need”. “In Christ I live and move and have my being”. All these scriptures have helped me ,God bless you and your family.
Don't take ur child anywhere for deliverance,both his parents have spiritual cover over him so with sincere hearts invoke ur cover through God Almighty.As a kid about d same age as urs,i used to hide n watch porn whenever my older brother n his friends played it,i got so addicted to it that i'd seek it out to watch on my own or with my male cousin and we'll wank each other thankfully i am not gay but i'm extremely wayward with ladies.Seeing a professional might be helpful but ensure its under ur supervision as paedophiles tend to take jobs that give them access to kids;especially troubled kids.
Either he has or a friend of his in school or ur neighbourhood has been compromised and sharing this info with him.The girl he was caught kissing may need to be closely monitored also.
i'm a behavioral therapist at Boston Medical, most likely your son has been sexually abused by someone you trust by aunties, uncles, neighbors, friends who knows,the best thing you can do at this point is to sit him down and talk to him,confront him and tell him to tell you the truth and you will not get in trouble, that is the only way to get to the bottom of this and sexual aggression in a child or reclusiveness is symptoms of sexual abuse.
Madam, I feel 4u. But, trust me, this is ur fault except it is medical. I gave a msg in my church few months ago durin d children's week, titled, "the vampire bite." It was on child molestation. I looked at child molestation frm d male and female perspectives- a boy may be molested by a guy or a lady, likewise a girl. If ur son is a victim of the vampire bite, then like one of the commentators said, be his friend and question him deeply. He'l definitely speak. Most of all, prayer & fasting is the master key. He will be delivered.
okay first of all, it could be genetic, he could have picked it up from one of you, or your family line, second, it's not really rare for some kids to have early puberty and high tertesterone, which creates high awareness, since it's gone this far, you need to talk to him and let him know what's going on, it's not his fault so you need to not punish him, just teach him self control
Madam,a child being sexually aware is not a spiritual thing. It is simply his programming coming into effect without recognising the neccessary social framework. Please dont think of sending him to a priest or church for anything called deliverance. That would be like solving a problem in your mind with it still on ground.
He has probably experinced some joy of sex without seeing the downside. Better eductae him on some sexual diesases. He may be young but aids,stds wont listen to that argument.
I suggest you have a candid talk with him about how sex works. Even though you think he is underage his sexual overtures are not underaged stuff. Tell him that there is a time and place (and loved person) for sex. Explain to him that non-consensual sex can be a problem. With the internet,tv and all most children now are becoming sexually aware far earlier.
Always be open minded to realise that he will start seeking a sex partner once his is able. Do you want him to experience a prostitute as his first experience?
I had an experience with an 8years old boy who pulled down my pants and tried to insert his tiny winny wen I woke up ......I had had acute thyhoid and had just been sedated intravenously when dis happened. I was totally embarrassed and humiliated that I beat the hell out of him. Together with his mum, we found out dat he had been watching porn with his uncle and practising with other kids in school and at home.....even with his two hear old. I cried my eyes out because of how much this little child had done sexually with older and younger children. Let your son confide in You,confront the adults involved and seek Spiritual and psychological help.
shift one side joor, this is so normal.....i used to behave nd feel that way when i was just 7......i love everything about sex. no one thought me, i just grew up to feel such. I loved everything about female body, though i over grown it just with tym. Its even obvious ur child gets attractd to male folks sha.
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR SON!!! (Whilst I agree you should consider whether a Nanny or House Help have played a part in encouraging this behavior I don't believe this is a definite cause.) Kids mature at different rates and as others have said his hormones and the influence of kids in his class might be impacting on how he is behaving. Please don't think you are alone, honest parents of boys will tell you this is very common and where ever possible you should try and ignore it. Correct his bad behavior but don't make it a big issue and it will fade away. Also going out in public is the solution cause he is more likely to behave the way you describe at home and in environments he is used to. Chin up, you guys will be fine
When I was a kid I used to kiss and make out with boys and girls. I was really young, like 5. I derived no pleasure from it, didn't even know what I was doing. The reason I was doing these things tho is because my nanny used to make me do it with my neighbor and even do it with me as well. I didn't know it was bad. I just thought it was a game or something.
So u have to talk to ur child and find out who is "abusing" him. Sex is NOT intuitive at age 8. Someone has shown these things to him. He doesn't understand it. He's forceful about it because that's just how little boys are. He probably thinks its all just fun and games.
Please do not punish him or make him feel bad about it.
The adults living with u brings in their partners and do stuffs in the boy's presence.I v cn a boy within 4-5 yrs that does such he lives only with hs dad in a hotel suite no mum.he probably sees hs dad with hs numerous girlfriends.u need to pay attention to wot happens in ur house and the boy counsel him and get him busy with church and school activities
YOUR CHILD IS NORMAL, THIS IS NOT SPIRITUAL OR MEDICAL,,,,,.I BEG YOU IN GODS NAME NOT TO BEAT OR FLOG THIS CHILD,!! HAVE A TALK WITH HIM BUILD ON HIS STRENGTHS AND HELP HIM OVERCOME HIS WEAKNESSES,! SHOW HIM LOVE , TALK TO HIM AND THAT'S IT, IN YOUR PRAYERS COMMIT IT TO GOD
I am thanking God I read this , my friends and even husband feel am over protective with me my daughter , had to resign from my bank job just to have time , I settled for a far lesser paying job . Which gives me ample time , I watch the maid , I have my maid seated not too far from the lesson teacher when he comes , her karate teacher I watch from the window of my house , when she goes to plait her hair with in the estate and the maid is busy her phone is on and am speaking to her and the hairdresser . It a no no with my driver , and school bus must come with the Aunty in the bus , with out her inside the bus goes back . Even with her uncles am watching , I have spoken to her and always speaking about all this strange happenings , people trying to touch her inappropriately . We gist about boys and girls , even her daddy ( in a funny way ) My dear friend look inwards someone close to you is molesting your son , the lord will guide you. Tis well . The most important is prayer which is constant .
Precocious puberty has to do with the physical appaearance of the child. She would have noticed that. I think it could only be hormonal from a medical perspective
THAT CHILD NEEDS DELIVERANCE, TO DELIVER HIM HE SHOULD GO ON A 30DAYS DRY-SILENT-FAST(NO TALKING TO ANYBODY) WHERE THE EVIL SPIRIT OF ''HUMPING-ANYTHING-IN-SIGHT'' WILL BE FLOGGED THOROUGH FROM HIM(& WHEN I SAY THOROUGHLY I MEAN T-H-O-R-O-U-G-H-L-Y) *STRAIGHT FACE*
In every situation, give thanks to God. After all, it's not an eight year old daughter. Could have been worse. Pray for him and make him your friend as you have been advised by LIBers and let him see a counsellor.
*Linda. Glad more people think its likely sex abuse. I look forward to a time when we think/talk medical/rational like the other educated people in other parts of the world. Dr Dayo and Segun Balogun, do you guys believe a child would have sexual problems caused by sex hormone and there will be no physical appearance of puberty(AKA Precosious puberty)? This mother hasn't told us her son has physical signs of puberty. You may want to dust up your endocrinology books and read up the Hypothalamus/ pituatary and gonadal axis.
Check all the people around you for abusive behavior. It could be a male or female, but someone has definitely exposed him to the behavior e is exhibiting. Get him a psychologist and of course spiritual help
all u folks laughing at deliverance......beware of opening yr mouth concerning supernatural mysteries. . stop!!! i beg of y'all.
as a deliverance minister i have seen wonders.
this boys problem is a classic case of trauma from abuse or exposure which is a gateway to demonic oppression of the boy's soul. do not confuse with demonic posession....Jesus cast out unclean spirits so its biblical.....Mom pls act quickly.
he needs prayers. ladies that are addicted to sex, needs to read this message on fornication http://thewordcompass.blogspot.com/2012/10/you-ladies-that-wont-stop-fornicating.html
Er... Jus advice him 'n' do d oda good tins advised above... Naw if dah dosnt work... Call him up and giv him resounding slaps (20 is ok), and some very engaging house chores. Trust mi, he'l change N/B: he'l c yew as a step-mum or a witch 4 d wile until he grows t understand y yew did dah. (Smiling) #Jade Said#
No wonder Nigeria is still a poor country, every problem call my pastor, jesus no wonder pastors are buying private jet, if i have to listing to everyone fu9king problems then i deserve a jet abeg
If you have a female house help then u may have to harrass her to tell u the truth, she might ve exposed ur son to sex and all the touching, i had this friend that once told me he acted that way once, played with the help opening, touched her openly cos he tot it was right, reason was that they were having sex behind closed doors and he was like 12 then, so check the people that live in the house with u, then find a way to question her son without shouting on him, he would open up
Dear Lady, your son is exhibiting symptoms of being sexually abused. Rather than castigating him and making it extremely difficult for him to talk to you, you need to get closer to your son and create an environment where your son can tell you who his abuser is. You need to help your son be strong so he can come to you. By yelling, being angry, you push him further into the hands of his abuser. There are tons of reading material for parents who suspect their children are being sexually abused. Please search google.
NOW is the time to take action so you can prevent further damage to your child. And please remember, this is not and will never be your child's fault. It is the fault of the adult that has chosen to violate a child's innocence.
272 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 272 of 272Some many people here simply refuse to use their God given brains. All we Nigerians knw is deliverance and going from one pastor to the other without finding out the real problem. As a few smart people have said your child is most likely a victiom of sexual abuse. Get close to your son, don't shout at him just make him comfortable and ask him quetions calmly with time he'll reveal whoever has been molesting him to you.
Maybe he catch you and him papa dey fuck for night maybe una forget to close door him come do peeping tom come see am adult should be careful what dey do infront of their kids warning you know children learn and copy things fast not minding if its BAD!
It might seem odd but I suggest you get a wife for him ASAP.
Mumu people. Flogging or taking him to a specialist will only make him destroy him later in life. Talk to him and educate him. The reason why he is doing that in the first place is because he is curious. But if you can make him trust you and teach him, you will be surprised at how much kids can learn.
by punished him will not work,did you know what to do give him sex education and speak some motivational talk to him
MY SISTER UR SON NEEDS A DELIVERANCE AND REAL PREAYERS DIS IS NOT TO BE TAKEN WIT MEA HAND.AND I PRAY GOD WIL HELP U
your son is a real G!!!!!
This one is not psychologist matter. Go on a 3days fast my sister. It's an attack, and it will only stop by prayer and fasting. It's well with you.
I have the same problem with my daughter that I am trying to deal with now. She plays kissing game with my house girl and touches herself when no one is with her. I have tried to talk her out of it, I have spanked few times and all.
The genesis of the problem was when she was abused at age 4 by her nephew of about 9 at times. This experience have made her so actually active and aware.
Right now, I try to monitor what she watch on Tv because I discover that this stimulates her mind and I also make sure her mind is per occupied without gainful activities to distract.
I am considering taking her to a child psychologist to attend her. It is a very painful and traumatic experience. We need to deal with it now or face the damaging consequences in the future.
You don't have to be ashamed of your boy. He needs your love and support now than anytime.
He may have been abused without your knowledge or exposed to a lot of graphic image playing out in his mind.
Don't forget to pray and commit him to God as well, beyond medical science nothing is difficult for God to do,
This boy's hormones are acting up. There's nothing wrong with him. I think I did worse at an even younger age. He'll outgrow it. Nothing to worry about.
i dont want to know wat u've tried before, but i have this email address for, just inbox HIM; jere33:3@God.come
Your child doesn't need prayers, fasting or any such thing, but I do think you should either take your child to see a child psychologist or try to talk to him himself, he seems to be exhibiting very common signs of a child that may have been abused. Shame on your part isn't the response, please trying talking to him or engage some who is well versed to talking to children to get to the route of what is causing the behaviour. I hope for his sake it isn't abuse
i dont want to know wat u've tried before, but i have this email address for, just inbox HIM; jere33:3@God.come
Am sure the boy most ve been abused , talking from exprience, my 4 yrs old little boy was abused by my husbands 6 yrs old niece, I actuAlly caught both of them in bed covered wt quit and I pretend that I was out of the room and came in suddenly and raised the quit and was shocked to see this little girl hand right on my sons penis and her pant down too wt my sons hand on hers too , I screamed and was shaking until my hubby came into the room and when we question them all my lil son cld say was : mum why are u screaming but the girl was crying and pleading to me not to tell her parent and I have to say yes and persuade her to tell me who has been doing this to her and she said no one but she watched it on the sky channel when she's alone in her room and she's been abusing my lil son each time she's on sleep over at my place ! I eventually told her parent and for my son I have to pray and also sit him down to let him understand that what his cousin has been doing to him was bad and if she or any one does it to him he shld let me know , but I try to avoid her around my son ! We all need to be very watchful , it's not just a girl child that can be abused , an abused girl can always abuse a boy child if she's been addicted to it
*Linda. I assume the 8 yr old is prepubertal, meaning that he does not have pubic hair/ large testis etc (INSTRUMENTS THAT MAKE MEN) If so, his hypersexual expression is not considered adolescent or adult sex drive. He is not yet able to produce the chemicals/ hormones that give us urges to have sex. Children at this age may experiment but not at the level described by this mother. That means the boy has been exposed to movies or real life events that are inapproriate for his age.
This falls into the gategory of child neglect/ abuse. HE SHOULD BE REMOVED FROM THE HOME IMMEDIATELY. THE PARENTS ARE USUALLY THE 1ST SUSPECTS
i dont want to know wat u've tried but i have an email for u.... just inbox HIM
jere33:3@God.com
Change your HOUSEHELP and change his SCHOOL. These are the obvious sources of his influence.
Mayb he ws abused outside your home,I also hd a similar experience wen I ws young used to go to my neighbors n the girls der abused me,at that time I dint knw anytn n dey told me Neva to tel ny1,which I Neva did til date..but dt act Neva stopped n guess wt I tot the girls Arnd me d same tin I was tot by those useless aunties..I was 8 around then...I jst thnk God dey were nt guys cos i don't knw wht would v happened...so plz monitor him well,cld b ur hsehelp,uncles,aunties or neighbors or even some crazy teacher...I Clldnt tel my mum den cos she wld v battered me like ur doing to ur ill son now...don't make him hide this from u or start having some hidden behaviors...be his friend n and a mother...
Ayo specie!! you really are a specie!!but from what genus i do not know.'Take him to a sex counselor" of all the dumb s#&!! he is 8 for crying out loud!!Guess the sex counselor will tell him about the BIRDS and the BEES,right?
And madam dont take ur son to any pastor,he might probably be raped by one of those megalomanic perverts.
Talk to ur son,buy him candy,make him relax,hug and cuddle him and he will spill the beans,he will tell all and point a finger to the perv that has been taking advantage of his young mind. Then get the police to arrest the trash and do your own councelling on the kid. Dont make him remember the stigma of going to a shrink when he grows up.All he needs is love {after u kill the perv} and he will grow up to be a fine young man like me.And Handsome too!! Jesse,just saying!!!!
DO NOT BEAT HIM OHHH!!! PLEASE DON'T BEAT HIM! From experience, I used to be like that when I was a kid; started because I had been molested and because of some of the friends I used to play with. One of my aunts caught my cousin and I one time and she beat us; we didn't stop, we just made sure we did it when she wasn't around. BEATING YOUR CHILD WOULD JUST MAKE HIM HIDE IT FROM YOU AND HE WILL NEVER TELL YOU ANYTHING!!
1. So sit him down and gently get ask him questions. If he has been molested, don't just assume it was your house help. Ask him about friends, uncles,aunties, cousins, neighbours, infact any one you could have left him alone with. Do not over-react, I beg you. No screaming, no "mo gbe" or any of the sort. BE CALM
2. Take him to a PROFESSIONAL COUNSELLOR/PSYCHIATRIST (notice I didn't say the one at church)
3. ONCE AGAIN DO NOT BEAT HIM UNLESS YOU WANT TO RUIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM; I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU UR HUSBAND SAYS (IS HE GOD?!?). THE ACTIONS YOU TAKE WILL HAVE RAMIFICATIONS ON YOUR SON THAT WILL LAST WELL AFTER YOUR HUSBAND IS GONE!!
3. PRAY FOR STRENGTH AND WISDOM FROM GOD. YOUR SON IS NOT POSSESSED, JUST CONFUSED AND IN NEED OF YOUR LOVE
One last thing, why do Nigerians always scream deliverance, prayer and fasting when people ask for advice. With the amount of deliverance sessions, pastors, imams and revivals, you will think this place was heaven.
Faith without works is dead. HIS words not mine.
DO YOU HAVE A FEMALE HOUSE HELP???
@12:43pm (Nov.2 2012): you are talking NONSENSE!
Sashs fierce ur a big fool
don't be ashamed of your son please, what you should do is have a heart to heart talk with him, express yourself and don't be shy to say adult stuffs. please make sure you talk to him first before seeking any form of external assistance to avoid getting him embarrassed and hiding from you. when you are talking to him let him know its just between the both of you, with that he feels secured. above all pray about it and show him love. wish you all the best
I like how people really comment on reader's mail and offer advice. That's the Nigerian spirit of helping each other. God bless each and everyone of those that commented and tried to help. But Linda, what I would really like to see is a reader's mail of what happened after following the advice given on here. Like a response, a testimony of the impact of the help and love received from your blog it will go a long way in helping other people to come out of their shells and talk about their problems too, since the reader mails help. Please work on this. Disturbed Girl.
Your child is a victim of sexual abuse as a baby. I bet you left him in the care of trusted baby sitters. Yup. He does not know what he is doing is absurd.
Please call this nos 08033169652. She is a child psychologist that works with sexually and emotionally abused children.
I'm a doctor. It is not likely that your son has been molested, it sounds more like a case of precocious puberty. The whole sex hormone apparatus has been prematurely activated. He needs the attention of a paediatric endocrinologist.
ITS A PITY HOW PEOPLE COMMENT WITH SO MUCH URGE TO HELP A STORY YOU (LINDA) COOKED UP!I'M NOT FOOLED A BIT, UR READERSHIP HAS OBVIOUSLY REDUCED SO YOU DO A SMART THING AND WRITE THIS COCK AND BULL TO SPARK REACTION WHICH YOU HAVE ACHIEVED. THIS STORY IS A SHAM. THE CONTENT SCREAMS SO...
Maybe you need to take him to a strict school or something, but watch him closely,and try talk to him, he is just 8, when he matures he will realize his wrong actions,don't be too worried, just monitor him much closely but moreover pray, if possible visit Jesus at the tabernacle(if catholic).
This is A very big issue. Madam u hv a lot to do now firstly, u and ur husband need to sit down and talk bat dis. Take out time to iron things out in ur house. Good luck.
Obinna u re right. D maid should b changed likewise his sch and also his parents should take out time to b with him always. He needs them more than ever now
You should pray for him, get a child psychologist to help you, Help him communicate with his emotions positively, educate him on the issues regarding his emotions and discourage him tactically , with time things will change.
I think you should pray with him putting your hand on his head , make him recite the following bible verses in the morning when he awakes and at night before bedtime, “The divine power of God has given us everything I need for live and Godliness through Jesus who has called me according to his glory and Goodness”, Make him recite "I will present my body as a living sacrifice pleasing and acceptable unto God for this is my reasonable act of worship, I shall not be conformed to the pattern of this world but I shall be transformed by the renewing of my mind so that I am able to test what Gods pleasing and perfect will is”, “For the law of life of the spirit has set me free from the law of sin and death and so sin shall never have dominion over me, for the same spirit that raised Jesus Christ from the dead dwells on my inside and quickens my mortal bodies to the glory of his holy name”, “I have been crucified with Christ never the less I live, the live I live in the body , I live by faith in the son of God who gave himself to redeem me”. “For God is able to make all grace abound unto me so that in every good work and good deed I would abound in all sufficiency having all that I need”. “In Christ I live and move and have my being”. All these scriptures have helped me ,God bless you and your family.
Hormones. There's a medical condition called precocious. Check it may be may not. Or he has been abused. See a specialist.
Don't take ur child anywhere for deliverance,both his parents have spiritual cover over him so with sincere hearts invoke ur cover through God Almighty.As a kid about d same age as urs,i used to hide n watch porn whenever my older brother n his friends played it,i got so addicted to it that i'd seek it out to watch on my own or with my male cousin and we'll wank each other thankfully i am not gay but i'm extremely wayward with ladies.Seeing a professional might be helpful but ensure its under ur supervision as paedophiles tend to take jobs that give them access to kids;especially troubled kids.
it can be caused by a lot of things. He s too tender for such things. Try see a doc with prayers He ll be Fine
Either he has or a friend of his in school or ur neighbourhood has been compromised and sharing this info with him.The girl he was caught kissing may need to be closely monitored also.
Oga ooo....Prayer, Deliverance, Beat...Please people she needs applicable solutions. Nigerians have prayer OCD!!!
i'm a behavioral therapist at Boston Medical, most likely your son has been sexually abused by someone you trust by aunties, uncles, neighbors, friends who knows,the best thing you can do at this point is to sit him down and talk to him,confront him and tell him to tell you the truth and you will not get in trouble, that is the only way to get to the bottom of this and sexual aggression in a child or reclusiveness is symptoms of sexual abuse.
Sexual abuse is one very big reason i can point to...you should have a talk with your child and while talking you should also be praying....
to be honest..this is not natural..I'll advise you seek spiritual consultations,before it gets out of hands..
Madam, I feel 4u. But, trust me, this is ur fault except it is medical. I gave a msg in my church few months ago durin d children's week, titled, "the vampire bite." It was on child molestation. I looked at child molestation frm d male and female perspectives- a boy may be molested by a guy or a lady, likewise a girl. If ur son is a victim of the vampire bite, then like one of the commentators said, be his friend and question him deeply. He'l definitely speak. Most of all, prayer & fasting is the master key. He will be delivered.
okay first of all, it could be genetic, he could have picked it up from one of you, or your family line, second, it's not really rare for some kids to have early puberty and high tertesterone, which creates high awareness, since it's gone this far, you need to talk to him and let him know what's going on, it's not his fault so you need to not punish him, just teach him self control
she shouldnt be ashamed she shld be worried cos her son is bin sexually abused .
now wat u nid 2 do is investigate and find out who.
Tell Your Child his Real Age madam.
Madam,a child being sexually aware is not a spiritual thing. It is simply his programming coming into effect without recognising the neccessary social framework. Please dont think of sending him to a priest or church for anything called deliverance. That would be like solving a problem in your mind with it still on ground.
He has probably experinced some joy of sex without seeing the downside. Better eductae him on some sexual diesases. He may be young but aids,stds wont listen to that argument.
I suggest you have a candid talk with him about how sex works. Even though you think he is underage his sexual overtures are not underaged stuff. Tell him that there is a time and place (and loved person) for sex. Explain to him that non-consensual sex can be a problem. With the internet,tv and all most children now are becoming sexually aware far earlier.
Always be open minded to realise that he will start seeking a sex partner once his is able. Do you want him to experience a prostitute as his first experience?
I had an experience with an 8years old boy who pulled down my pants and tried to insert his tiny winny wen I woke up ......I had had acute thyhoid and had just been sedated intravenously when dis happened. I was totally embarrassed and humiliated that I beat the hell out of him. Together with his mum, we found out dat he had been watching porn with his uncle and practising with other kids in school and at home.....even with his two hear old. I cried my eyes out because of how much this little child had done sexually with older and younger children. Let your son confide in You,confront the adults involved and seek Spiritual and psychological help.
shift one side joor, this is so normal.....i used to behave nd feel that way when i was just 7......i love everything about sex. no one thought me, i just grew up to feel such.
I loved everything about female body, though i over grown it just with tym.
Its even obvious ur child gets attractd to male folks sha.
#ejikebigdick
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR SON!!! (Whilst I agree you should consider whether a Nanny or House Help have played a part in encouraging this behavior I don't believe this is a definite cause.)
Kids mature at different rates and as others have said his hormones and the influence of kids in his class might be impacting on how he is behaving.
Please don't think you are alone, honest parents of boys will tell you this is very common and where ever possible you should try and ignore it. Correct his bad behavior but don't make it a big issue and it will fade away. Also going out in public is the solution cause he is more likely to behave the way you describe at home and in environments he is used to.
Chin up, you guys will be fine
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG
When I was a kid I used to kiss and make out with boys and girls. I was really young, like 5. I derived no pleasure from it, didn't even know what I was doing. The reason I was doing these things tho is because my nanny used to make me do it with my neighbor and even do it with me as well. I didn't know it was bad. I just thought it was a game or something.
So u have to talk to ur child and find out who is "abusing" him. Sex is NOT intuitive at age 8. Someone has shown these things to him. He doesn't understand it. He's forceful about it because that's just how little boys are. He probably thinks its all just fun and games.
Please do not punish him or make him feel bad about it.
The adults living with u brings in their partners and do stuffs in the boy's presence.I v cn a boy within 4-5 yrs that does such he lives only with hs dad in a hotel suite no mum.he probably sees hs dad with hs numerous girlfriends.u need to pay attention to wot happens in ur house and the boy counsel him and get him busy with church and school activities
YOUR CHILD IS NORMAL, THIS IS NOT SPIRITUAL OR MEDICAL,,,,,.I BEG YOU IN GODS NAME NOT TO BEAT OR FLOG THIS CHILD,!! HAVE A TALK WITH HIM BUILD ON HIS STRENGTHS AND HELP HIM OVERCOME HIS WEAKNESSES,! SHOW HIM LOVE , TALK TO HIM AND THAT'S IT, IN YOUR PRAYERS COMMIT IT TO GOD
mmmmm..... send him to seminary school...i guess
I am thanking God I read this , my friends and even husband feel am over protective with me my daughter , had to resign from my bank job just to have time , I settled for a far lesser paying job . Which gives me ample time , I watch the maid , I have my maid seated not too far from the lesson teacher when he comes , her karate teacher I watch from the window of my house , when she goes to plait her hair with in the estate and the maid is busy her phone is on and am speaking to her and the hairdresser .
It a no no with my driver , and school bus must come with the Aunty in the bus , with out her inside the bus goes back .
Even with her uncles am watching , I have spoken to her and always speaking about all this strange happenings , people trying to touch her inappropriately .
We gist about boys and girls , even her daddy ( in a funny way )
My dear friend look inwards someone close to you is molesting your son , the lord will guide you. Tis well .
The most important is prayer which is constant .
Precocious puberty has to do with the physical appaearance of the child. She would have noticed that. I think it could only be hormonal from a medical perspective
Talk to ur kid but don't beat him, u will b amazed by d result, am a parent n I know how u feel like.
THAT CHILD NEEDS DELIVERANCE,
TO DELIVER HIM HE SHOULD GO ON A 30DAYS DRY-SILENT-FAST(NO TALKING TO ANYBODY) WHERE THE EVIL SPIRIT OF ''HUMPING-ANYTHING-IN-SIGHT'' WILL BE FLOGGED THOROUGH FROM HIM(& WHEN I SAY THOROUGHLY I MEAN T-H-O-R-O-U-G-H-L-Y) *STRAIGHT FACE*
Everyone is an expert here.
Lady, your child has a pediatrician, so talk to the pediatrician or look for one for your child.
In every situation, give thanks to God. After all, it's not an eight year old daughter. Could have been worse. Pray for him and make him your friend as you have been advised by LIBers and let him see a counsellor.
U have to pray for him and Nigeria film they are doing now is rubbish, so if dey want to watch films u have to watch it first
*Linda. Glad more people think its likely sex abuse. I look forward to a time when we think/talk medical/rational like the other educated people in other parts of the world.
Dr Dayo and Segun Balogun, do you guys believe a child would have sexual problems caused by sex hormone and there will be no physical appearance of puberty(AKA Precosious puberty)? This mother hasn't told us her son has physical signs of puberty. You may want to dust up your endocrinology books and read up the Hypothalamus/ pituatary and gonadal axis.
Check all the people around you for abusive behavior. It could be a male or female, but someone has definitely exposed him to the behavior e is exhibiting. Get him a psychologist and of course spiritual help
all u folks laughing at deliverance......beware of opening yr mouth concerning supernatural mysteries. . stop!!! i beg of y'all.
as a deliverance minister i have seen wonders.
this boys problem is a classic case of trauma from abuse or exposure which is a gateway to demonic oppression of the boy's soul. do not confuse with demonic posession....Jesus cast out unclean spirits so its biblical.....Mom pls act quickly.
he needs prayers. ladies that are addicted to sex, needs to read this message on fornication http://thewordcompass.blogspot.com/2012/10/you-ladies-that-wont-stop-fornicating.html
Er... Jus advice him 'n' do d oda good tins advised above... Naw if dah dosnt work... Call him up and giv him resounding slaps (20 is ok), and some very engaging house chores. Trust mi, he'l change
N/B: he'l c yew as a step-mum or a witch 4 d wile until he grows t understand y yew did dah. (Smiling) #Jade Said#
No wonder Nigeria is still a poor country, every problem call my pastor, jesus no wonder pastors are buying private jet, if i have to listing to everyone fu9king problems then i deserve a jet abeg
If you have a female house help then u may have to harrass her to tell u the truth, she might ve exposed ur son to sex and all the touching, i had this friend that once told me he acted that way once, played with the help opening, touched her openly cos he tot it was right, reason was that they were having sex behind closed doors and he was like 12 then, so check the people that live in the house with u, then find a way to question her son without shouting on him, he would open up
This reminds me of my own childhood.
Dear Lady, your son is exhibiting symptoms of being sexually abused. Rather than castigating him and making it extremely difficult for him to talk to you, you need to get closer to your son and create an environment where your son can tell you who his abuser is. You need to help your son be strong so he can come to you. By yelling, being angry, you push him further into the hands of his abuser. There are tons of reading material for parents who suspect their children are being sexually abused. Please search google.
NOW is the time to take action so you can prevent further damage to your child. And please remember, this is not and will never be your child's fault. It is the fault of the adult that has chosen to violate a child's innocence.
Who around him? Check his environment.
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