Dear LIB readers: I suspect that one of my kids is not mine
From a male LIB reader
I have three kids but I have often suspected that one of them is not mine. The middle child looks nothing like me or the other children. He's different in every way, even character wise. Should I confront my wife about it or should I do a secret DNA test without her knowledge? I have spoken to a good doctor friend of mine about a possible DNA test and he says it can be carried out without her knowledge. I started off joking about it, but now I'm almost convinced he's not mine. I need answers so I don't raise another man's child as mine.
Abeg leave that matter o. What of men who adopt kids and raise them as their own. If you have never cheated on your wife, then I wish you luck with the DNA thing.
*All your kids cannot be the same. One child may just look like your great grand parent.*
Do the secret DNA test. So you can be at peace with yourself. And if the child is yours (which I believe he is) kill yourself for doubting your wife. Everyone in my house looks different. None of us look alike. You can only tell that we're siblings from little things like handwriting, mannerism, etc. The littlest things. I hope to God I do not marry a man like you. Tueh.
do a secret DNA before confronting your wife..what if you confront her first and a DNA shows the child is yours? the damage will be hard to ameliorate..in any case..it does happen that one child is different from the others in everything(perhaps d odd gene)..if there's anything like that..
Don't confront your wife cos you may be wrong, and that will raise a great dust in your family that if not properly handled, could lead to a divorce. It's better you do a DNA without her knowledge, just to satisfy your curiosity.
Whaaatttt? Errmm, this is delicate though..you should talk to her about it i think. But it doesn't matter anyways..the only way to confirm is through DNA but u should let her know first. Watch her reaction, then you can tell even before the test :)
When you are in a relationship you shouldn't keep secrets from your partner. You should feel comfortable to openly express to your wife that you have doubts about the paternity of the child, not because you don't trust her, but because you think he is too different from you. If your wife gets upset about your request it will be temporarily, if she truly loves you she will forgive you later on.
If dat will clear ur doubt and give u peace of mind,without her knowing,I suggest u go for d DNA, to avoid ur emotion giving u out at a time it may prove costly to ur marriage.
Have u heard about genetic variation...It's not every offspring that looks or behave like the parent..If u feel that you don't trust your wife enough then by all means go ahead with the test but I assure you the results of the test may cause more harm than good...B.O.B
There r people who r willing to adopt babies who are not biologically related to them and here u are being worried abouut fathering another mans child? I pity you. Tr
Yes, go for the secret DNA test. If the child is not yours, confront your wife quietly and in a decent manner. If she lies, show her the result. No doubt, you would be shattered, but MAN UP, don't make any hassles about it, for the sake of your own DIGNITY and the child's future. For no reason should you make a fuss about it in the presence of your kids or the public. If you do, it will come back to hunt. Whatever decision that you want to take, let it be in private. Don't tell the world about it, or try to humiliate her.....that's very predictable,and it sure backfires at the end of the day for you. She must have her reason for doing what she did...it's up to you to either forgive her,raise the child who calls you father, already and pretend it never happened, or you move on quietly. I repeat, Better don't let her predict you....Hard as it may be, that's the best way to handle it. If she knows that you know the truth and still keep quiet,trust me,She will be restless for the rest of her life. Either she packs out by herself, or will forever be loyal to you.
B4 you satisfy your curiosity and get a dna test. Ask yourself this: "do you really want to know?"
We always think we wanna know things but in the real sense, we can't handle the truth. I will advice you express your fears to your wife b4 this dna test.
I advice u go ahead with the secret DNA test...it is when you find questionable answers,that you can come back to her.Pls let us know what your findings are.
He is everyway ur child. U have accepted him all this while as ur child so why start this now? You just want to destroy ur marriage for nothing. So if u ddiscover he's not yours, r u going to kick him out or what? Have u thot about the future implications of your actions? Pls use ur head and think and try to imagine what the future wud be for that child who has called you daddy and has always known you as daddy. Search within ur conscience and ask if what ur contemplating is right. U know its not right so don't. Period!
Why are you asking us when you already know what to do? Since you want an answer: 1. Go to your 'good doctor friend' for DNA like you suggested. 2. Confront your wife (she may lie to you. But then, you won't even believe her if she says the child is yours cos you have already made up your mind he is not) 3. Keep quiet.
I think you should do it and forget about it before you start taking it out on the child unconsciously. But just prepare for the worse and have a plan of what you want to do before you get the results. You know, just incase he/she isn't yours. Sorry man.
This happen to a classmate of mine, the father kind of suspected that one of the kid might not be his, he eventually brought the kids to UK and did a dna. ..Truely it turns out one was it his, but that broke the family . The marriage and family couldnt recover from it ..
if u are prepared to test , be ready to break your family is the test comes out the child is not yours. Your marriage wont survive it . Sometimes then it best to leave it alone
I understand where you are coming from, bro. Why not do the DNA for all the kids? It might be that the child in question is yours and the others with the divergence are the aliens. #my2cents
I understand where you are coming from, bro. Why not do the DNA for all the kids? It might be that the child in question is yours and the others with the divergence are the aliens. #my2cents
@Anonymous 5:51, Fathering another man's child or adoption should be by choice and should not b imposed by anone. If by any chance, the child is not his, he has a right to know. So young man, go ahead with the test to clear all doubts.
Do the test but be prepared to keep the boy in your home. Put aside the ego, hurt and embarassment you may feel and think of how the boy would feel... you are the only one he thinks of as a father!!! Don't throw the boy out with severely damaged emotions. There is nothing wrong in being a foster father, after all.
Why are you people insulting him as if it's not possible that his wife cheated on him and passed off another man's child as his own? Women have done it before, haven't they? Its not the child, it is the betrayal. He should do the test. If he doesn't he will continue to have these feelings and they will spoil his relationship with the child no matter what.
What happens when you find out? do you have problems in your marriage already? or you are not comfortable being happy?
If you must, tell her first that you want to take the test cos you feel ur child might have been swapped at birth. Then you can go and do the test cos if u dnt tell her first and she finds out, and its ur child, it wnt be funny...
I'd say forget it. Every child is ur child! But hey, whatever helps you sleep at night dude!
Some people think oddly sha! Even if he's going to adopt the child, is he not meant to know first if the child is his? Please do the DNA secretly to put your mind at rest.
Also carry a test if ur wife is his mother because its possible he is mistakenly switched at the hospital.....Thats if you have to run any test on him. Its also show you don't trust your wife....
Eya, is that how reason? So he should accept another man's kid because "people adopt"? What a way to reason. Let the man find out the truth if he wants to. This is a very serious accusation he should be careful because if he's wrong the wife will never forgive him for calling her a cheat and vice versa.
You dont need to do DNA. The child calls you Father hope you know what that means even if he is not yours. How sure are you that ur own father is ur real father. Somethings are better left secret and die secret. Love that baby and also love your wife. Dont destroy your lovely family. Good luck
Whilst u at it,remember the psychological effect it will have on d boy even if he's not urs..a boy that has grown calling u daddy(depending his age) and what are u going to tell d other kids that have grown to call him brother?think well oo..I'm talking from experience..it happened in my own family
Take a DNA test with the assistance of your friend who's a doctor. My brother has 3 sons and only 1 resembles him - features and all that is. I never expressed my concerns as it is not my business . His wife is an arrogant person and very self centered; I wouldn't be surprised if she cheated on him. Hope your situation is a case of a genetic skip and not what you suspect. Go with your gut. Something must be wrong.
i suspect someone like you will already be treating the child differently because he is acts different..tueh(like prof x said). what could your wife have done to you to deserve this...
Ok here's my candid advice, do d DNA test also ask ur gud doctor frd if he ca do it 4 ur wife secretly den come bak n giv us d results so we cn advice u on d next step 2 tak OK.
What if the DNA test proves he's urs?? What wld yu do?? I think yu shld jst forget dis whole bs cos evryone wld get hurt irrespective of the outcome or approach. Dats my own opinion sha.I believ yu fell in love wt the baby evn Wen the baby was yet to be delivered. So jst keep it dat way. We can't all be the same or act the same
This is SAD I can imagine d agony pain and nightmare u must be going through hmm.Well I suggest u go for d DNA test because of the psychological trauma such things bring.If u find out the child is nt yours I ask u accept him as yours u do nt know if dat child tomorrow wud become d proverbial stone d builders rejected which wud become the corner stone and love him just like ur other kids and if u are a xtian u know in heaven there wud be no mum dad or children relationship so dis is ur chance to impact I dat child's life.God bless.
my guy u don enter one chance...a lot of men have found out the kids they loved and trained aint really thiers...mehn maybe na end times oh but its the trend in naija now...well do the secret dna and if u find out the child looks like one of your grand uncles,apologise to ur wife in ur heart,,,if not,take heart,no be u be the ist nor will u be the last.
I fink u should go ahead and do the test cos ur mind is olwedi made up that he's not urs... It wouldn't be fair if u start treating the boy differently cos u fink he's not urs! What is he's urs but u ended up treating him badly cos u didn't do the test to know... Go do the test secretely,prepare for whateva results u'd get and make up ur mind on what to do..
But lemme tell u something,if that boy ends up been urs,u would not forgive urself for doubting ur wife..
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Eya I don't see it how you do, there is something pushing this man to make such an accusation, its not only the resemblance thing, of course he knows his wife better. Since he can get the DNA test done without the wife knowing its ok, any result that comes out would be helpful to him. If the child is not his after the test then he deserves to know, and if the child is his then it would kill that feeling making him have doubts about the child.
He might have been switched during chile birth, some careless hospitals make such mistakes, but why on earth will u think of that kind of thing, isit that u don't trust your wife at all, I pray I don't marry a man like you sha.
it's 50 50 my brother.Jus do the DNA test and let your mind be @peace.Even tho u'r stl gona foster for the child regardless of the outcome. I kno how it feels.Women could be bizarre.Wish you wel.
Oo so you want her to tell you to destroy your family? Okay ill help her do it! Go and destroy your family my dear!! Its useless to keep family together! I mean who knows your own mum might have lied to you! Ewu mme
Abeg I'am a woman and that is rubbish. Adopting a child is my choice and with one's knowledge. No one should ever lie to another and let him raise a child that isn't his without him knowing.That is unfair. Abeg do the test in secret and make you decision based on what you find.
you re seriously putting you sweet home into an everlasting destruction...by even thinking about an issue like dis..u re a man u should know the period u slept with your wife to calculate when she ought to give birth...what if the middle one dont look like d other ones..what if the middle one is your child and d other 2 arent ur children at d end of d day..do u have the heart to take any negative news or just let sleeping dogs lies.if u trust ur wife why re u focusing on stupid things instead of focusing on working hard to cater for ur family...i see u re digging ur early grave
SHUT UP and do the friggen DNA test.why r u announcing to the world.ur a bit of a fool sha.u know what to do and ur foolishly asking us,linda u too u mumuishly posted this.orr!
Btw what will this dna test be doing for u you fool.u want to start treating him differently or disown him? Hvnt u cheated b4?am sure u hv kids outside sef nd ur wife dsnt know.hiss
Lol, Bonario sure has influenced a lot of ppl... Do the test... Coz obviosly ur christmas won't be merry if u don't, its already in ur mind sef..BUT, u cannot and will not let it rip ur marriage! Consider that A nurse might have switched the baby ignorantly..these things happen when no family is in the ward or anyfin.
Kai! OK please do the test SECRETLY AND COLLUDE WITH YOUR DOCTOR FRIEND instead of talking to her about it. I pray to God she finds out. If she has any sense, she'll leave you *hiss*
Sir Be careful what you ask for, because you might not like the response. By doing a DNA you will destroy the burden in your family and that child's life. Such situations can psychologically affect the child. If you love him or her then let sleeping dogs sleep. God works in different ways. You can never know what the lord has planned for your family and that child. So my advice pray and let go of the burden. Things will fall in place in God's time. Stay blessed.
Man, Nigerians can be such fuckin idiots sometimes. So a man shouldn't get a dna test all for fear of destroying his family? It's the kind of nonsense a Nigerian woman would say, cos this is what they do - spread their legs for some other dude and pass the resulting child as their husband's. The man has his suspicions. Let him carry out the test. If the child is his then he will rest easy for the rest of his life. If the child isn't his then he can confront his wife and go from there. If the family breaks cos the kid isn't his then it's not his fault. He's not the one who fucked someone else, got pregnant and lied to his spouse about it. He'll be hurt, but he'll move on. He'll get someone else and be happy.
And you are a very big fool for judging without being sure.Since u are a woman like ur brother's wife,may it be ur lot in ur marriage too.May ur children be doubted in their father's home.How are u even sure u and ur brother share the same mother?Maybe ur mother is/was a whore?Who knows?.......Evil in-laws,always looking for another woman to ass-lick them.....Mtscheeeew.
My sister's daughter looks nothing like her mother but like my other sister. My sister's son looks nothing like his mother but he is my splitting image. These things happen but get the test to have peace within yourself not knowing is a horrible feeling. If the child turns out not yours, raise him anyway, don't tell him till he is old enough and even if your marriage breaks up, spare the child the trauma don't tell him till he is old enough to deal with it
to hv peace of mind, do d secrete dna test(no need telling her cos if its actually urs, d damage would already have been done)...if its not urs...hmmmmm...sometimes i wonder y some women always hv d sex with someone else unprotected...at least the man(if cheating)always uses d condom
Pls go ahead and do the test cos if u keep quiet u'll hate that child and nothing he'll do will please u,do the test to clear ur mind and also have confidence on ur wife
Amen to that. This one sounds like my spoilt sister inlaw who had refused to grow up and take responsibility for her actions. Mannerless pple, thinking that life revolves around you. Like I don't have anything better to do with my life than to serve you ungrateful lot. Mtscheeeeeew
Guy, do the DNA test without telling your wife. It is absolutely needed if you want peace of mind. I'm speaking from experience and in my case, the DNA proved that the child is mine, and till this day the mother does not know I did the test. The only difference is that I did mine when the child was a few months old. Guy man no fit fall mugu..
Its ok to get a dna but pls protect d child from any drama dat might result if he's not urs.in future d child wil b told d truth an he wil forever b thankful
Do the DNA test secretly to avoid ruining your marriage. But remember the results whether the child is yours or not shud be known only to you and the doctor only. If you truly love your wife, marriage and home. Don't ruin it by announcing the results of theDNA test whatever it is. There's a rumor Khloe Kardashian doesn't hv the same father as Kim and Kourtney, Mr Kardshian did a DNA test secretly and never told anyone apart from his wives after Kris, the wives revealed the secret sometime ago and put the whole Kardashian family in turmoil. My point is no matter what the result of this DNA test for the sake of your children and the love and fear of God do not reveal it to anyone not even your wife. The result shud give you the peace of mind you seek, and that shud be all you need right?
I'm a woman and i'll advise you to carry out the test. if it turns out it's not yours, don't foget a father is not necssarily one that owns the child biologically. you been the childs father from birth. if you'll tell, let him be an adult first
I urge you to remember that you are not God and therefore you dont know the future, that child might be the future of your clan and the only one whom God might decide to bless among your children. Go ahead and do your DNA and one, destroy a happy family two, destroy your future and that of your children. Foolish man are you better than people who are adopting other peoples children and taking better care of them, what if after finding out he is not your child and refusing him then you lose the children that are your own and God decides not to give you any child again.So sad to know there are people like you in the world with all your education you are still ignorant and pathetic. Abeg give me the child to adopt joo, i value him more than you mcheew
Infact I suspect his foolishnes is not here....definately frm anoda planet.Olori omo ale. Dat is how my daft husband accused me of infidelity despite twas him who disvirgined me,simply bcos he was cheated on in his past relationship.........irritants
10x chucks! Ur d best! What sort of crab r dese ones spittin?if d kid is not he's the woman mite still b seein dat man.maybe d 4th child wuld now come frm a 3rd man.even if the family divides nobody will die...it wuld even make dem stronga! Wat of women dat r widows? Wat of kids dat r orphans?ma advice is dat if he finds out its tru den d man shuld 4give d silly wife n conceal it 4rm d children(though it wuld require time n lots of pleasin 4rm d woman). If u find out she's still rollin wit dat man... PLEASE DIVORCE D BITCH before d whole ause smells like dog house.cuz if she stays the children mite learn n do worse. Some silly Nigerian girls are just so messed up makin stupid suggestion of save family shit...it culd become worse if nt properly investigated....AIK
If your wife is a decent woman like me and u want to raise such issue.....na dat benin thunder which I beliv u hail frm,will strike your manhood into piece.
Infact I suspect his foolishnes is not here....definately frm anoda planet.Olori omo ale. Dat is how my daft husband accused me of infidelity despite twas him who disvirgined me,simply bcos he was cheated on in his past relationship.........irritants
How do u expect him to know wen he slept wit his wife or not,talkless of knowin the expected date of delivery wen his mind is far away! Olori omo ale.....I had a similar experience. *****close to tears*****
U know what annoys me with all these pple and their silly issues???They never give a feedback on whatever insults or advice they get here, or is it that Linda refuses to post it?
Go for a dna if u wish, and end that affair after u find out the child is truly yours, and devote ur time to being a loving hubby and dad, cos u obviously r looking for ways to take a walk...TC
ok go for the DNA then discover the baby isnt yours then what?or after treating the child as an "outcast" then go for DNA and discover that the baby is indeed yours and that your unfair judgment and your wife's discovery leads to a break up then what?aa my friend before you light that eternal fire of suspicion think through that your action coz it will affect you for the rest of you life abi!
Amebo! Gbefila! Thunder fire ur gossip loving ass! U think dis is superstory or 1 of those silly tele novella soap opera's? Dis is a real life situation ders no need for steps here cz once he does dt DNA test , he ll b swept up in d ensuing current dt he ll ve absolutely no control over. My advice is this. 1) Do not carry out d DNA test except u v lost all love for ur family. This doubt u v shows u v lost all priorities n mayb u want out. Cz if u love n respect ur fam u wouldn't want to bring dis catastrophe upon dem! U ® conceited n a big hypocrite dts my opinion.
My exact tots... If he eventually does the test, and find that the child is not his, no need insulting or charging at the wifey. Cos if she's innocent, it will hurt her like hell. Just ask quietly, and make enquiries at the hospital.
This is how i c it... u do d DNA test n get d peace u feel u deserve. buh be sure that u'l reverse d awkward feeling If the child is yours and ur wife gets to find out u doubted her faithfulness! Either ways, d result of the test would more likely tear d family apart than maintain d peace it has atm! talk to ur wife abt ur feelings and dnt go behind her to sort things out! be a man
I'm sure you will never be comfortable with the middle child around you without the DNA test and you really appreciate your marriage for you to seek advice from the general public. I will ask you to go for the Secrete DNA test and no matter what you find out never try to tell your wife any thing because that Child might even be the only blessing in your home. Be wise and live forever. Good luck.
My 2cent advice is,since u are alrdy in doubt,just do the dna text n also do for ur wife,cos d kid mit av been switched at birth,but if u find out he/she is urs ,what nxt n why even tink dat of ur wife ,dat also shows u do away match also.nawa
pls do DNA for all the KIDS, and carry your wife along, IT will help in re-assuring the relationship, what ever issue that comes up settle it maturely been the guy. which ever hold on to your wife.
If u don't do the test, you may start reacting negatively to the kid, which if it now turn to be your kid you will never forgive youself, and the relationship between you and the kid in Q,might be damage for life.
Let us not attack the man but the issue, a brother has a burden in his heart. I have noticed a very dangerous trend in the responses, Eya @5:40 simply thinks the matter should be waved aside. Just like some other ladies give the impression that he should let go. Adoption is a choice and not foistered on anybody, there is nothing wrong raising another person's child as yours but it must be your choice. Let us put the sentiment of trust in marriage aside, this is about fact of parentage, its a road no man wants to go but must, if need be. Its as if some have conceded that something is fishy but the sleeping dog be left alone. I do not agree. My take is that a secret DNA test be done, if the child is his, (which I pray)the matter is rested for good. But if the child is not his, he has to take the difficult decision of raising the issue with the wife to clear it up, irrespective of the outcome of the test,he should remember that every man can father a child but few men can be a father to the child, so he should continue being a father to the child, Blacknight @5:51 got it right.
please before you do this test to be sure if his your or not. think about the child. imagine how he'll feel if he finds out you are not his dad. he'll be devastated might never recover from it. i know it probably hurts to feel you have been deceived, but sometimes we get selfish. please i kneel and beg you and also beg God to give you grace to keep your finding between you and your wifey or to yourself and ask God for the fortitude to go on.
I feel so disappointed that people can say he shudn't do the DNA, do you knw wat it takes to father a child ?? i have always said i will do a DNA for my children bcos it is difficult to TRUST any lady out dere. Also plz note that anoda mans child can av a resemblance of anoda man.
Mister man, if u have a happy home that u don't wanna destroy, it's better u don't do that DNA test, cuz if by any chance that child is truly not urs, that's most likely d beginning of friction and maybe the end of ur blissful home. Trust ur wife, and learn to love that child. Except of cos u av or almost had a child outside ur home, n u suspect ur wife cld do same or uv caught her in suspicious acts b4. Search urself, u don't need all this.
pls do DNA for all the KIDS, and carry your wife along, IT will help in re-assuring the relationship, what ever issue that comes up settle it maturely been the guy. which ever hold on to your wife.
If u don't do the test, you may start reacting negatively to the kid, which if it now turn to be your kid you will never forgive youself, and the relationship between you and the kid in Q,might be damage for life.
the devil is really playing wit ur mind...so u dont trust ur wifee....na wa...dnt u know kids r different..jst lyk professor x said..err1 cant look alyk..same wit my family...im different 4rm d odas altho ive gt ma momz complexion n look lyk ha a bit..mayb dat ur child luks like ur ancestors..dat u dunno..beta pray dat GOD frees dat ur head.
Mr Man i hope you see dis comment, my advice to you is look for a season called Switched at birth, its a series and yes i think you should ask your wife as well am very sure she wud not have cheated on you even the hospital makes mistakes and for your info i dont look like my mum or dad but i can tell you i have my dad's long hair, my mum's hips now dat am grown up and i hv my mums stubborness in me, so be kiaful with the dna test u mite be ashamed of yourslf at the end ....
If the shoe fits wear it! Sweetie u must be the kind of wife mentioned. You married a man " beneath" u who does everything possible to please ur lazy, worthless self. That's right, to top it off u probably had affairs with many men hoping to get one on ur "level" and only ended up with multiple fathers of ur bastard children. Foolish people like u is the reason why this poor guy is suffering. Lmao !!!
Children born to the same parents will have a mix of features from each. Yea some argue its possible to resemble an ancestor. This can happen but if people see ur children and wouldn't know ur the father watch out. Traits are inherited but there has to be something which resembles both parents - height, voice, eyes, or ears. There's no way for ur seed not have any of ur traits. People commenting be honest and look at ur own families. Brotha get the DNA. If by some chance she finds out lie. Don't admit to anything.
bros, can u really handle d situation if u find out that d child is not yours? and what if your fears are unfounded? except u r jimoh ibrahim or otedola wit a dynasty u dnt want a bastard 2 inherit, take my advice bro! dnt go looking for trouble...or you might actually find it. i talk my ownoo
Anon 6:36- funny huh? Connect ur brain to ur mouth and in some cases check google b4 u comment!..... My thot exactly! What if d kid turns out to be urs? that's goin'a create this big space btwn u and ur wife for as long as that child lives!
if ur heart can carry it, just go for the test to satisfy your curiousity. but id=f it turns out that that child is ur then u will forever live with the sin of not trusting your wife in the first place. wish u luck sha....
If I ever find out that my husband did a DNA test on any of our kids behind my back, trust me, the marriage is over. I will walk out and never look back. Reason being, he is not worthy to be my husband.
Do a secret test then confront your wife when it turns out its not yours. In your heart if you doubt then it might be true. If there is nothing to say, ok I see some family traits then its someone elses pikin most likely.
To Chucks and the like, why can't he confront her then? Why should he do it secretly? She's the one with something to hide is she not? Your mouth like "women spreading legs", Who are they spreading for, is it not men? All of you with your double standard BS. And you'll be the same ones that will come out and say 'men cheat, it's the way it is. Women should deal with it.' Rubbish
ah u are a bad man. i wonder how u will feel when u find out the child is urs. my dear dissappointment of a husband there is no given set of looks or behaviours that siblings have to follow. i have 2 kids and they look and behave nothing alike and they come from the same parents. they have different intrests as well. i am sure u unconciously treat this child differently. if i were ur wife i would divorce u. u r a great dissappointment. may God forgive u. bush man.
Do you know the most interesting trend here ? Most of the ladies are asking that he shouldn't bother checking the DNA. Isn't that a disturbing trend ? Its almost as if the ladies in Nigeria are generally straying these days or why will they worry about a simple test ?.......would you rather the man keep the boy and treat him suspect in his own home and look at his wife with the eye of a suspected cheat or he gets a secret clearance and a rest of mind. Guy, go and check it out...if you must adopt a child, you must do it willingly,not under the possibility of betrayal and being blindfolded.
My friend, do whatever gives you peace of mind. I have three kids. The middle child looks nothing like my hubby and acts different from the others. But I can swear at any time and anywhere that she is my husband's biological child. She actually looks like my mum. These things happen.
It's not an issue of doing the test (although I have reservations about that). Let me tell you what I find disturbing. That men are here saying do it secretly. Why is it okay to do it secretly? That's equally hypocritical. If your suspicions are confirmed then you're both liars, but the stupid men that come here to give advice and perpetuate unhappiness in marriages will never see it that way. Tufia!
i don't think you need to ask people for their opinion on this matter. You are lucky your wife gave you 3 beautiful children, yet you are complaining, supposing you are not the father of the remaining 2 children you claim resembles you, abeg go sit down and forget you doubt your wife because it is likely you may even not be man enough to father a child and yet she assisted you.
Make your own home first and keep it before you chat more rubbish. Go and get your DNA kit ready and test my children ok. I will tell next time before I sleep with your brother. Eat your heart out.
yes you should know and take the DNA test so you can stop wondering already. but that should not change how you feel about the child, don't be selfish!!! Did he choose for his mother to be deceitful and raise him upon lies. Just as you were robbed of having a third son, he would be robbed of having a father. A father is very important.And his real father may be no good. You took him under your care, don't do anymore. Even if you want to tell him the truth, that's fine too, but that will be enough trauma for him to withstand. You want to pull him away from the only family he's ever known? His siblings, a father? That's disgusting. Your love for him should have overcame anything else. At the end of the day, you're still his father. You're the one who's raised him from birth. What would you make you any less of a father than his biological one. If anything, you've passed him long time ago. I don't know why a piece of paper would change what you ever thought of him. What kind of man would you be if you did something like that? All your anger should be towards the mother, nothing more, but don't let the child pay for her sins. It's not fair, and after all your years of living, you should know better. Be a man.
everyone is talking about marriage. i don't understand nigerians at all. you're talking of the marriage, but what about that poor child whose whole life will be a lie? do the dna test, but don't abandon the child. all you are talking about a broken marriage, who gives a fuck? what sort of marriage could exist, when you have a wife , who cheated on you, and had a child with another man, and on top of that disguised him as your own child, all the while to take that lie to the grave and never tell a soul. what are you ppl even saying? that marriage has died and has broken a long time ago. all thats left is to save the child. if you want to live a lie, live a lie, but if you want to act like an actual man, who went to school, has met people from all walks of life, and is exposed and understanding, and humane, don't abandon that child. simple, full stop. a child who you raised, you want to just leave like that? absolutely disgusting.
All of U that are trying to rubbish the man for doubting the child's paternity are all Bastards. A man should adopt and take care of a child who isn't his because he wants a happy marriage? What marriage can be happy without trust? Bitches calling themselves women. Spit!
166 comments:
Abeg leave that matter o. What of men who adopt kids and raise them as their own. If you have never cheated on your wife, then I wish you luck with the DNA thing.
*All your kids cannot be the same. One child may just look like your great grand parent.*
Just look the other way o.
Do the secret DNA test. So you can be at peace with yourself. And if the child is yours (which I believe he is) kill yourself for doubting your wife. Everyone in my house looks different. None of us look alike. You can only tell that we're siblings from little things like handwriting, mannerism, etc. The littlest things. I hope to God I do not marry a man like you. Tueh.
do a secret DNA before confronting your wife..what if you confront her first and a DNA shows the child is yours? the damage will be hard to ameliorate..in any case..it does happen that one child is different from the others in everything(perhaps d odd gene)..if there's anything like that..
Don't confront your wife cos you may be wrong, and that will raise a great dust in your family that if not properly handled, could lead to a divorce. It's better you do a DNA without her knowledge, just to satisfy your curiosity.
Whaaatttt? Errmm, this is delicate though..you should talk to her about it i think. But it doesn't matter anyways..the only way to confirm is through DNA but u should let her know first. Watch her reaction, then you can tell even before the test :)
When you are in a relationship you shouldn't keep secrets from your partner. You should feel comfortable to openly express to your wife that you have doubts about the paternity of the child, not because you don't trust her, but because you think he is too different from you. If your wife gets upset about your request it will be temporarily, if she truly loves you she will forgive you later on.
He might have been swiched at birth
Do you really need advice here? Do whatever suits you.
If dat will clear ur doubt and give u peace of mind,without her knowing,I suggest u go for d DNA, to avoid ur emotion giving u out at a time it may prove costly to ur marriage.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310
Have u heard about genetic variation...It's not every offspring that looks or behave like the parent..If u feel that you don't trust your wife enough then by all means go ahead with the test but I assure you the results of the test may cause more harm than good...B.O.B
Wahala,plz dnt let ur wife kn if u want ur marriage still
Go for a DNA test without her knowledge- first step. Next step will depend on the outcome of your investigation.. Good luck!
There r people who r willing to adopt babies who are not biologically related to them and here u are being worried abouut fathering another mans child? I pity you. Tr
Go ahead with d DNA test without the consent of ur wife....
Yes, go for the secret DNA test.
If the child is not yours, confront your wife quietly and in a decent manner. If she lies, show her the result. No doubt, you would be shattered, but MAN UP, don't make any hassles about it, for the sake of your own DIGNITY and the child's future. For no reason should you make a fuss about it in the presence of your kids or the public. If you do, it will come back to hunt. Whatever decision that you want to take, let it be in private. Don't tell the world about it, or try to humiliate her.....that's very predictable,and it sure backfires at the end of the day for you.
She must have her reason for doing what she did...it's up to you to either forgive her,raise the child who calls you father, already and pretend it never happened, or you move on quietly.
I repeat, Better don't let her predict you....Hard as it may be, that's the best way to handle it.
If she knows that you know the truth and still keep quiet,trust me,She will be restless for the rest of her life. Either she packs out by herself, or will forever be loyal to you.
GET THE DNA!!!!!
If u r so convinced dt he's nt urs dn go ahead wt d DNA test n save urslf d stress of doubt.
B4 you satisfy your curiosity and get a dna test. Ask yourself this: "do you really want to know?"
We always think we wanna know things but in the real sense, we can't handle the truth. I will advice you express your fears to your wife b4 this dna test.
Do not rip your family apart.
I advice u go ahead with the secret DNA test...it is when you find questionable answers,that you can come back to her.Pls let us know what your findings are.
Do u have to call cnn 4 that? Go and do "nda" abi wey tin them dey colam again DNA
He is everyway ur child. U have accepted him all this while as ur child so why start this now? You just want to destroy ur marriage for nothing. So if u ddiscover he's not yours, r u going to kick him out or what? Have u thot about the future implications of your actions? Pls use ur head and think and try to imagine what the future wud be for that child who has called you daddy and has always known you as daddy. Search within ur conscience and ask if what ur contemplating is right. U know its not right so don't. Period!
Why are you asking us when you already know what to do? Since you want an answer: 1. Go to your 'good doctor friend' for DNA like you suggested. 2. Confront your wife (she may lie to you. But then, you won't even believe her if she says the child is yours cos you have already made up your mind he is not) 3. Keep quiet.
Go ahead with d secret DNA..God help u and ur family..
Na wah ooo! Wetin person no go hear for dis life.
U better respect urself. I guess u r tired of ur marriage and lookin for ways out...
I think you should do it and forget about it before you start taking it out on the child unconsciously. But just prepare for the worse and have a plan of what you want to do before you get the results. You know, just incase he/she isn't yours. Sorry man.
bull shit story same o same linda pls stop writing or posting dis story its not knew abeg jor
Maybe she didn't cheat on u o. Dey use to exchange babies in hospitals sef. Just pray and fashi d matter. Maybe he'll be d 1 to giv u joy in futuree
U'r rily worried abt raising anoda man's child?Srzlyy!!!...Wow!anyways,ask urself,do I rily wanna know?den do wateva ur ansa requires.gudluck
This happen to a classmate of mine, the father kind of suspected that one of the kid might not be his, he eventually brought the kids to UK and did a dna. ..Truely it turns out one was it his, but that broke the family . The marriage and family couldnt recover from it ..
if u are prepared to test , be ready to break your family is the test comes out the child is not yours. Your marriage wont survive it . Sometimes then it best to leave it alone
Don't rip your family apart!!!
I understand where you are coming from, bro. Why not do the DNA for all the kids? It might be that the child in question is yours and the others with the divergence are the aliens. #my2cents
I understand where you are coming from, bro. Why not do the DNA for all the kids? It might be that the child in question is yours and the others with the divergence are the aliens. #my2cents
@Anonymous 5:51, Fathering another man's child or adoption should be by choice and should not b imposed by anone. If by any chance, the child is not his, he has a right to know. So young man, go ahead with the test to clear all doubts.
And I suspect you are very silly to bring such a delicate matter here instead of d DNA department.....idiot
See how u wan carry ya hand take skata/dabaru ya own famly..go do it b4 u start accumulating unnecessary hatred for d Innocent boy!!*ipityu*
Do the test but be prepared to keep the boy in your home. Put aside the ego, hurt and embarassment you may feel and think of how the boy would feel... you are the only one he thinks of as a father!!! Don't throw the boy out with severely damaged emotions. There is nothing wrong in being a foster father, after all.
Why are you people insulting him as if it's not possible that his wife cheated on him and passed off another man's child as his own? Women have done it before, haven't they?
Its not the child, it is the betrayal.
He should do the test. If he doesn't he will continue to have these feelings and they will spoil his relationship with the child no matter what.
what is wrong in u training another man's son. so if the child isnt urs u will send him/her away.
my candid advice is just let go cos u might be wrong
What happens when you find out? do you have problems in your marriage already? or you are not comfortable being happy?
If you must, tell her first that you want to take the test cos you feel ur child might have been swapped at birth. Then you can go and do the test cos if u dnt tell her first and she finds out, and its ur child, it wnt be funny...
I'd say forget it. Every child is ur child! But hey, whatever helps you sleep at night dude!
Some people think oddly sha! Even if he's going to adopt the child, is he not meant to know first if the child is his?
Please do the DNA secretly to put your mind at rest.
I agree with Eya, how could you even ask a question like dis about an innocent child?
Also carry a test if ur wife is his mother because its possible he is mistakenly switched at the hospital.....Thats if you have to run any test on him. Its also show you don't trust your wife....
Eya, is that how reason? So he should accept another man's kid because "people adopt"? What a way to reason. Let the man find out the truth if he wants to. This is a very serious accusation he should be careful because if he's wrong the wife will never forgive him for calling her a cheat and vice versa.
Am a woman ad my baby looks so much like my baby sister.... what will you say about that....
Who cares, I am a bastard child too. He or she will grow up the same.
Ewooo..."Ameliorate"!! Loool
You dont need to do DNA. The child calls you Father hope you know what that means even if he is not yours. How sure are you that ur own father is ur real father. Somethings are better left secret and die secret. Love that baby and also love your wife. Dont destroy your lovely family. Good luck
Whilst u at it,remember the psychological effect it will have on d boy even if he's not urs..a boy that has grown calling u daddy(depending his age) and what are u going to tell d other kids that have grown to call him brother?think well oo..I'm talking from experience..it happened in my own family
Loooooool. Lmao! U sound like u know the man... "U better respect urself" sounds personal
follow you mind bro,then you can ask her to erase it from your mind...
Dear Sir,
Take a DNA test with the assistance of your friend who's a doctor. My brother has 3 sons and only 1 resembles him - features and all that is. I never expressed my concerns as it is not my business . His wife is an arrogant person and very self centered; I wouldn't be surprised if she cheated on him. Hope your situation is a case of a genetic skip and not what you suspect. Go with your gut. Something must be wrong.
prof X you are funny sha...but on point with that comment
i suspect someone like you will already be treating the child differently because he is acts different..tueh(like prof x said). what could your wife have done to you to deserve this...
Amaka anudu..Thank you ..hugs hugs hugs for that comment...
Ok here's my candid advice, do d DNA test also ask ur gud doctor frd if he ca do it 4 ur wife secretly den come bak n giv us d results so we cn advice u on d next step 2 tak OK.
@amaka you don't sound ur looks. Disappointed at ur statement
What if the DNA test proves he's urs?? What wld yu do?? I think yu shld jst forget dis whole bs cos evryone wld get hurt irrespective of the outcome or approach. Dats my own opinion sha.I believ yu fell in love wt the baby evn Wen the baby was yet to be delivered. So jst keep it dat way. We can't all be the same or act the same
If you reject this child and He becomes the next Dangote......... You are your own..Be Very careful
This is SAD I can imagine d agony pain and nightmare u must be going through hmm.Well I suggest u go for d DNA test because of the psychological trauma such things bring.If u find out the child is nt yours I ask u accept him as yours u do nt know if dat child tomorrow wud become d proverbial stone d builders rejected which wud become the corner stone and love him just like ur other kids and if u are a xtian u know in heaven there wud be no mum dad or children relationship so dis is ur chance to impact I dat child's life.God bless.
my guy u don enter one chance...a lot of men have found out the kids they loved and trained aint really thiers...mehn maybe na end times oh but its the trend in naija now...well do the secret dna and if u find out the child looks like one of your grand uncles,apologise to ur wife in ur heart,,,if not,take heart,no be u be the ist nor will u be the last.
via my pink ipad 3...latest edition
Do RNA test instead of DNA. Stupid things to share on a blog spot in this 21st century. Don't you know what your mate do?
Gosh!
I fink u should go ahead and do the test cos ur mind is olwedi made up that he's not urs... It wouldn't be fair if u start treating the boy differently cos u fink he's not urs! What is he's urs but u ended up treating him badly cos u didn't do the test to know... Go do the test secretely,prepare for whateva results u'd get and make up ur mind on what to do..
But lemme tell u something,if that boy ends up been urs,u would not forgive urself for doubting ur wife..
D decision is yours to make but don't put ur marriage @ stake, check out yelnatsfashion.blogspot.com for UK apparels @ affordable prices. Don't wait till I run out of stock ooo. Linda post ma shii oooo make our market sef move
haba in every family derz alwyz an indifferent child. i dont tink its enuf reason for DNA test,exept if you dont trust your wife.
Eya I don't see it how you do, there is something pushing this man to make such an accusation, its not only the resemblance thing, of course he knows his wife better.
Since he can get the DNA test done without the wife knowing its ok, any result that comes out would be helpful to him. If the child is not his after the test then he deserves to know, and if the child is his then it would kill that feeling making him have doubts about the child.
He might have been switched during chile birth, some careless hospitals make such mistakes, but why on earth will u think of that kind of thing, isit that u don't trust your wife at all, I pray I don't marry a man like you sha.
it's 50 50 my brother.Jus do the DNA test and let your mind be @peace.Even tho u'r stl gona foster for the child regardless of the outcome.
I kno how it feels.Women could be bizarre.Wish you wel.
Sooo true!
Oo so you want her to tell you to destroy your family? Okay ill help her do it! Go and destroy your family my dear!! Its useless to keep family together! I mean who knows your own mum might have lied to you! Ewu mme
ђã†̥ if it turns out that you are not the father of all three? Has it even occur to you that you may be impotent?
Sooo true!
Abeg I'am a woman and that is rubbish. Adopting a child is my choice and with one's knowledge. No one should ever lie to another and let him raise a child that isn't his without him knowing.That is unfair. Abeg do the test in secret and make you decision based on what you find.
all women are witches and cheats. Choke on it
you re seriously putting you sweet home into an everlasting destruction...by even thinking about an issue like dis..u re a man u should know the period u slept with your wife to calculate when she ought to give birth...what if the middle one dont look like d other ones..what if the middle one is your child and d other 2 arent ur children at d end of d day..do u have the heart to take any negative news or just let sleeping dogs lies.if u trust ur wife why re u focusing on stupid things instead of focusing on working hard to cater for ur family...i see u re digging ur early grave
SHUT UP and do the friggen DNA test.why r u announcing to the world.ur a bit of a fool sha.u know what to do and ur foolishly asking us,linda u too u mumuishly posted this.orr!
Btw what will this dna test be doing for u you fool.u want to start treating him differently or disown him? Hvnt u cheated b4?am sure u hv kids outside sef nd ur wife dsnt know.hiss
Lol, Bonario sure has influenced a lot of ppl... Do the test... Coz obviosly ur christmas won't be merry if u don't, its already in ur mind sef..BUT, u cannot and will not let it rip ur marriage! Consider that A nurse might have switched the baby ignorantly..these things happen when no family is in the ward or anyfin.
Kai! OK please do the test SECRETLY AND COLLUDE WITH YOUR DOCTOR FRIEND instead of talking to her about it. I pray to God she finds out. If she has any sense, she'll leave you *hiss*
Sir Be careful what you ask for, because you might not like the response. By doing a DNA you will destroy the burden in your family and that child's life. Such situations can psychologically affect the child. If you love him or her then let sleeping dogs sleep. God works in different ways. You can never know what the lord has planned for your family and that child. So my advice pray and let go of the burden. Things will fall in place in God's time. Stay blessed.
Wow! Dats true o hmmm
Man, Nigerians can be such fuckin idiots sometimes. So a man shouldn't get a dna test all for fear of destroying his family? It's the kind of nonsense a Nigerian woman would say, cos this is what they do - spread their legs for some other dude and pass the resulting child as their husband's. The man has his suspicions. Let him carry out the test. If the child is his then he will rest easy for the rest of his life. If the child isn't his then he can confront his wife and go from there. If the family breaks cos the kid isn't his then it's not his fault. He's not the one who fucked someone else, got pregnant and lied to his spouse about it. He'll be hurt, but he'll move on. He'll get someone else and be happy.
Chucks
And you are a very big fool for judging without being sure.Since u are a woman like ur brother's wife,may it be ur lot in ur marriage too.May ur children be doubted in their father's home.How are u even sure u and ur brother share the same mother?Maybe ur mother is/was a whore?Who knows?.......Evil in-laws,always looking for another woman to ass-lick them.....Mtscheeeew.
My sister's daughter looks nothing like her mother but like my other sister. My sister's son looks nothing like his mother but he is my splitting image. These things happen but get the test to have peace within yourself not knowing is a horrible feeling. If the child turns out not yours, raise him anyway, don't tell him till he is old enough and even if your marriage breaks up, spare the child the trauma don't tell him till he is old enough to deal with it
to hv peace of mind, do d secrete dna test(no need telling her cos if its actually urs, d damage would already have been done)...if its not urs...hmmmmm...sometimes i wonder y some women always hv d sex with someone else unprotected...at least the man(if cheating)always uses d condom
Pls go ahead and do the test cos if u keep quiet u'll hate that child and nothing he'll do will please u,do the test to clear ur mind and also have confidence on ur wife
Amen to that. This one sounds like my spoilt sister inlaw who had refused to grow up and take responsibility for her actions.
Mannerless pple, thinking that life revolves around you. Like I don't have anything better to do with my life than to serve you ungrateful lot. Mtscheeeeeew
Guy, do the DNA test without telling your wife. It is absolutely needed if you want peace of mind. I'm speaking from experience and in my case, the DNA proved that the child is mine, and till this day the mother does not know I did the test. The only difference is that I did mine when the child was a few months old. Guy man no fit fall mugu..
Its ok to get a dna but pls protect d child from any drama dat might result if he's not urs.in future d child wil b told d truth an he wil forever b thankful
Spot on!
So dry..... Blehhhhhh
Do the DNA test secretly to avoid ruining your marriage. But remember the results whether the child is yours or not shud be known only to you and the doctor only. If you truly love your wife, marriage and home. Don't ruin it by announcing the results of theDNA test whatever it is.
There's a rumor Khloe Kardashian doesn't hv the same father as Kim and Kourtney, Mr Kardshian did a DNA test secretly and never told anyone apart from his wives after Kris, the wives revealed the secret sometime ago and put the whole Kardashian family in turmoil. My point is no matter what the result of this DNA test for the sake of your children and the love and fear of God do not reveal it to anyone not even your wife. The result shud give you the peace of mind you seek, and that shud be all you need right?
I'm a woman and i'll advise you to carry out the test. if it turns out it's not yours, don't foget a father is not necssarily one that owns the child biologically. you been the childs father from birth. if you'll tell, let him be an adult first
November 12, 2012 8:32 PM don't deceive yourself okay cos if you were in his shoes, you'll do exactly the same. get a DNA finito!!!
November 12, 2012 6:28 PM stop yarning nanasense mehn you'll do exactly the same if you were in his shoes DNA shikena
November 12, 2012 5:40 PM keep quite my friend i'm sure you'll give your husband another mans child to raise mschew!!!! to infinity
November 12, 2012 5:40 PMthere's nothing like that abeg make una leave the man make im do DNA
I urge you to remember that you are not God and therefore you dont know the future, that child might be the future of your clan and the only one whom God might decide to bless among your children. Go ahead and do your DNA and one, destroy a happy family two, destroy your future and that of your children. Foolish man are you better than people who are adopting other peoples children and taking better care of them, what if after finding out he is not your child and refusing him then you lose the children that are your own and God decides not to give you any child again.So sad to know there are people like you in the world with all your education you are still ignorant and pathetic. Abeg give me the child to adopt joo, i value him more than you mcheew
Oga sir, my own is u shud let us knw d outcome afta d DNA so dat we can knw if u re d real father. Dnt forget to post it oooo."May da diva"
UVE probably already done the test without your wife knowing...why are u asking for advice...
Infact I suspect his foolishnes is not here....definately frm anoda planet.Olori omo ale. Dat is how my daft husband accused me of infidelity despite twas him who disvirgined me,simply bcos he was cheated on in his past relationship.........irritants
10x chucks! Ur d best! What sort of crab r dese ones spittin?if d kid is not he's the woman mite still b seein dat man.maybe d 4th child wuld now come frm a 3rd man.even if the family divides nobody will die...it wuld even make dem stronga! Wat of women dat r widows? Wat of kids dat r orphans?ma advice is dat if he finds out its tru den d man shuld 4give d silly wife n conceal it 4rm d children(though it wuld require time n lots of pleasin 4rm d woman). If u find out she's still rollin wit dat man... PLEASE DIVORCE D BITCH before d whole ause smells like dog house.cuz if she stays the children mite learn n do worse. Some silly Nigerian girls are just so messed up makin stupid suggestion of save family shit...it culd become worse if nt properly investigated....AIK
Dindinrin wo leleyi to n misyarn? Noboby dares accuse me of such,what an insult? AM SURE THE WRITER IS FROM BENIN
If your wife is a decent woman like me and u want to raise such issue.....na dat benin thunder which I beliv u hail frm,will strike your manhood into piece.
Infact I suspect his foolishnes is not here....definately frm anoda planet.Olori omo ale. Dat is how my daft husband accused me of infidelity despite twas him who disvirgined me,simply bcos he was cheated on in his past relationship.........irritants
O maa choke pa noni,irritant!
How do u expect him to know wen he slept wit his wife or not,talkless of knowin the expected date of delivery wen his mind is far away! Olori omo ale.....I had a similar experience. *****close to tears*****
And wat if he runs the test n the child is his chuks???? You are just a senseless animal.Ode oshi
O maa choke pa noni,irritant!
Go ahead
U know what annoys me with all these pple and their silly issues???They never give a feedback on whatever insults or advice they get here, or is it that Linda refuses to post it?
Go for a dna if u wish, and end that affair after u find out the child is truly yours, and devote ur time to being a loving hubby and dad, cos u obviously r looking for ways to take a walk...TC
ok go for the DNA then discover the baby isnt yours then what?or after treating the child as an "outcast" then go for DNA and discover that the baby is indeed yours and that your unfair judgment and your wife's discovery leads to a break up then what?aa my friend before you light that eternal fire of suspicion think through that your action coz it will affect you for the rest of you life abi!
Men don't cheat.**mtchew
Oga you mind is playing tricks on you. You are sowing a seed that would destroy you and your marriage.
Amebo! Gbefila! Thunder fire ur gossip loving ass! U think dis is superstory or 1 of those silly tele novella soap opera's? Dis is a real life situation ders no need for steps here cz once he does dt DNA test , he ll b swept up in d ensuing current dt he ll ve absolutely no control over. My advice is this. 1) Do not carry out d DNA test except u v lost all love for ur family. This doubt u v shows u v lost all priorities n mayb u want out. Cz if u love n respect ur fam u wouldn't want to bring dis catastrophe upon dem! U ® conceited n a big hypocrite dts my opinion.
My exact tots... If he eventually does the test, and find that the child is not his, no need insulting or charging at the wifey. Cos if she's innocent, it will hurt her like hell. Just ask quietly, and make enquiries at the hospital.
Man, I say trust no body, do the fuckn DNA test..GALAXY.
What's funny about 'Ameliorate' it's actually english!
this isn't just about you. you need to think of the other kids u have
you are a very foolish mannnnn and i feel sorry 4 ure wife.....linda ikeji is ure shrink abi........may God 4 give u
This is how i c it... u do d DNA test n get d peace u feel u deserve. buh be sure that u'l reverse d awkward feeling If the child is yours and ur wife gets to find out u doubted her faithfulness!
Either ways, d result of the test would more likely tear d family apart than maintain d peace it has atm! talk to ur wife abt ur feelings and dnt go behind her to sort things out! be a man
I'm sure you will never be comfortable with the middle child around you without the DNA test and you really appreciate your marriage for you to seek advice from the general public. I will ask you to go for the Secrete DNA test and no matter what you find out never try to tell your wife any thing because that Child might even be the only blessing in your home. Be wise and live forever. Good luck.
think very well b4 u react to this, are u sure u want to know d truth? wat if u discover dat d child is ur, are u sure u can 4give urself?
if d child is not ur are u gonna kick him out? if dat child become sumbody great in future wil u cal him ur son? man think very well.... good luck
My 2cent advice is,since u are alrdy in doubt,just do the dna text n also do for ur wife,cos d kid mit av been switched at birth,but if u find out he/she is urs ,what nxt n why even tink dat of ur wife ,dat also shows u do away match also.nawa
Curiousity kills the caT. SUIT URSELF
pls do DNA for all the KIDS, and carry your wife along, IT will help in re-assuring the relationship, what ever issue that comes up settle it maturely been the guy. which ever hold on to your wife.
If u don't do the test, you may start reacting negatively to the kid, which if it now turn to be your kid you will never forgive youself, and the relationship between you and the kid in Q,might be damage for life.
Let us not attack the man but the issue, a brother has a burden in his heart. I have noticed a very dangerous trend in the responses, Eya @5:40 simply thinks the matter should be waved aside. Just like some other ladies give the impression that he should let go. Adoption is a choice and not foistered on anybody, there is nothing wrong raising another person's child as yours but it must be your choice. Let us put the sentiment of trust in marriage aside, this is about fact of parentage, its a road no man wants to go but must, if need be. Its as if some have conceded that something is fishy but the sleeping dog be left alone. I do not agree. My take is that a secret DNA test be done, if the child is his, (which I pray)the matter is rested for good. But if the child is not his, he has to take the difficult decision of raising the issue with the wife to clear it up, irrespective of the outcome of the test,he should remember that every man can father a child but few men can be a father to the child, so he should continue being a father to the child, Blacknight @5:51 got it right.
please before you do this test to be sure if his your or not. think about the child. imagine how he'll feel if he finds out you are not his dad. he'll be devastated might never recover from it. i know it probably hurts to feel you have been deceived, but sometimes we get selfish. please i kneel and beg you and also beg God to give you grace to keep your finding between you and your wifey or to yourself and ask God for the fortitude to go on.
U rite blknight..... My tots exactly! Even if u find out the child isn't ours, I feel u shd just act like u dnt know for the childs sake. Goodluck!
I feel so disappointed that people can say he shudn't do the DNA, do you knw wat it takes to father a child ?? i have always said i will do a DNA for my children bcos it is difficult to TRUST any lady out dere. Also plz note that anoda mans child can av a resemblance of anoda man.
Y do I hav the feeling that even his wife (unknowing to her) must hav adviced u on ur dilema here on d blog!!lol #sillyThoughts (viks)
@ "...i see u re digging ur early grave November 12, 2012 8:32 PM"
hmm, seems like dis is d wife responding o! she don warn u o!
Mister man, if u have a happy home that u don't wanna destroy, it's better u don't do that DNA test, cuz if by any chance that child is truly not urs, that's most likely d beginning of friction and maybe the end of ur blissful home. Trust ur wife, and learn to love that child. Except of cos u av or almost had a child outside ur home, n u suspect ur wife cld do same or uv caught her in suspicious acts b4. Search urself, u don't need all this.
what do u need our advice for, u already have the answer to your curiosity, DNA, inda plz stop posting some stupid stories.
pls do DNA for all the KIDS, and carry your wife along, IT will help in re-assuring the relationship, what ever issue that comes up settle it maturely been the guy. which ever hold on to your wife.
If u don't do the test, you may start reacting negatively to the kid, which if it now turn to be your kid you will never forgive youself, and the relationship between you and the kid in Q,might be damage for life.
the devil is really playing wit ur mind...so u dont trust ur wifee....na wa...dnt u know kids r different..jst lyk professor x said..err1 cant look alyk..same wit my family...im different 4rm d odas altho ive gt ma momz complexion n look lyk ha a bit..mayb dat ur child luks like ur ancestors..dat u dunno..beta pray dat GOD frees dat ur head.
Mr Man i hope you see dis comment, my advice to you is look for a season called Switched at birth, its a series and yes i think you should ask your wife as well am very sure she wud not have cheated on you even the hospital makes mistakes and for your info i dont look like my mum or dad but i can tell you i have my dad's long hair, my mum's hips now dat am grown up and i hv my mums stubborness in me, so be kiaful with the dna test u mite be ashamed of yourslf at the end ....
get a life man
If the shoe fits wear it! Sweetie u must be the kind of wife mentioned. You married a man " beneath" u who does everything possible to please ur lazy, worthless self. That's right, to top it off u probably had affairs with many men hoping to get one on ur "level" and only ended up with multiple fathers of ur bastard children. Foolish people like u is the reason why this poor guy is suffering. Lmao !!!
Children born to the same parents will have a mix of features from each. Yea some argue its possible to resemble an ancestor. This can happen but if people see ur children and wouldn't know ur the father watch out. Traits are inherited but there has to be something which resembles both parents - height, voice, eyes, or ears. There's no way for ur seed not have any of ur traits. People commenting be honest and look at ur own families. Brotha get the DNA. If by some chance she finds out lie. Don't admit to anything.
bros, can u really handle d situation if u find out that d child is not yours? and what if your fears are unfounded? except u r jimoh ibrahim or otedola wit a dynasty u dnt want a bastard 2 inherit, take my advice bro! dnt go looking for trouble...or you might actually find it. i talk my ownoo
Anon 6:36- funny huh? Connect ur brain to ur mouth and in some cases check google b4 u comment!..... My thot exactly! What if d kid turns out to be urs? that's goin'a create this big space btwn u and ur wife for as long as that child lives!
if ur heart can carry it, just go for the test to satisfy your curiousity. but id=f it turns out that that child is ur then u will forever live with the sin of not trusting your wife in the first place. wish u luck sha....
Curiosity, they say, kills the cat. Please go do the test n let us know the result and your next action
Do the DNA test.
If DNA test says the child is not yours, dont forget to also do the test for your wife and the child too
If I ever find out that my husband did a DNA test on any of our kids behind my back, trust me, the marriage is over. I will walk out and never look back. Reason being, he is not worthy to be my husband.
Let that matter lie, don't start something that would trouble for the rest of your life. HE IS YOUR SON.
Linda,if u don't get a response frm dis man as regards the outcome,then u are only using LIB fans
Never thought of it that way... Outcome might be worse o!!!
The child you suspect of not being yours, might actually be the only one that is
Do a secret test then confront your wife when it turns out its not yours. In your heart if you doubt then it might be true. If there is nothing to say, ok I see some family traits then its someone elses pikin most likely.
do a DNA test without her knowledge to satisfy yourself...
To Chucks and the like, why can't he confront her then? Why should he do it secretly? She's the one with something to hide is she not? Your mouth like "women spreading legs", Who are they spreading for, is it not men? All of you with your double standard BS. And you'll be the same ones that will come out and say 'men cheat, it's the way it is. Women should deal with it.' Rubbish
Bros..Do the test, Secretly.
ah u are a bad man. i wonder how u will feel when u find out the child is urs. my dear dissappointment of a husband there is no given set of looks or behaviours that siblings have to follow. i have 2 kids and they look and behave nothing alike and they come from the same parents. they have different intrests as well. i am sure u unconciously treat this child differently. if i were ur wife i would divorce u. u r a great dissappointment. may God forgive u. bush man.
Guy u stupid God....
Do you know the most interesting trend here ? Most of the ladies are asking that he shouldn't bother checking the DNA. Isn't that a disturbing trend ? Its almost as if the ladies in Nigeria are generally straying these days or why will they worry about a simple test ?.......would you rather the man keep the boy and treat him suspect in his own home and look at his wife with the eye of a suspected cheat or he gets a secret clearance and a rest of mind. Guy, go and check it out...if you must adopt a child, you must do it willingly,not under the possibility of betrayal and being blindfolded.
Guy, do that DNA test. What chicks do these days is unimaginable. If you find out he's yours I think you'll love him even more.
My friend, do whatever gives you peace of mind. I have three kids. The middle child looks nothing like my hubby and acts different from the others. But I can swear at any time and anywhere that she is my husband's biological child. She actually looks like my mum. These things happen.
It's not an issue of doing the test (although I have reservations about that). Let me tell you what I find disturbing. That men are here saying do it secretly. Why is it okay to do it secretly? That's equally hypocritical. If your suspicions are confirmed then you're both liars, but the stupid men that come here to give advice and perpetuate unhappiness in marriages will never see it that way. Tufia!
i don't think you need to ask people for their opinion on this matter. You are lucky your wife gave you 3 beautiful children, yet you are complaining, supposing you are not the father of the remaining 2 children you claim resembles you, abeg go sit down and forget you doubt your wife because it is likely you may even not be man enough to father a child and yet she assisted you.
Make your own home first and keep it before you chat more rubbish. Go and get your DNA kit ready and test my children ok. I will tell next time before I sleep with your brother.
Eat your heart out.
yes you should know and take the DNA test so you can stop wondering already. but that should not change how you feel about the child, don't be selfish!!! Did he choose for his mother to be deceitful and raise him upon lies. Just as you were robbed of having a third son, he would be robbed of having a father. A father is very important.And his real father may be no good. You took him under your care, don't do anymore. Even if you want to tell him the truth, that's fine too, but that will be enough trauma for him to withstand. You want to pull him away from the only family he's ever known? His siblings, a father? That's disgusting. Your love for him should have overcame anything else. At the end of the day, you're still his father. You're the one who's raised him from birth. What would you make you any less of a father than his biological one. If anything, you've passed him long time ago. I don't know why a piece of paper would change what you ever thought of him. What kind of man would you be if you did something like that? All your anger should be towards the mother, nothing more, but don't let the child pay for her sins. It's not fair, and after all your years of living, you should know better. Be a man.
everyone is talking about marriage. i don't understand nigerians at all. you're talking of the marriage, but what about that poor child whose whole life will be a lie? do the dna test, but don't abandon the child. all you are talking about a broken marriage, who gives a fuck? what sort of marriage could exist, when you have a wife , who cheated on you, and had a child with another man, and on top of that disguised him as your own child, all the while to take that lie to the grave and never tell a soul. what are you ppl even saying? that marriage has died and has broken a long time ago. all thats left is to save the child. if you want to live a lie, live a lie, but if you want to act like an actual man, who went to school, has met people from all walks of life, and is exposed and understanding, and humane, don't abandon that child. simple, full stop. a child who you raised, you want to just leave like that? absolutely disgusting.
go and do the test and come Back and give us feedback. thank you
All of U that are trying to rubbish the man for doubting the child's paternity are all Bastards. A man should adopt and take care of a child who isn't his because he wants a happy marriage? What marriage can be happy without trust? Bitches calling themselves women. Spit!
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