Just got this from a male LIB reader
Linda, this is a true story and I'd really appreciate if you share with your readers as I need advice from men who have experienced same thing I'm going through now. I'm a married man with three beautiful children but fathered a child with an ex girlfriend when I went to London in 2006. The child is almost six now and other than sending money occasionally to his mother, I play no part in his life. I didn't even set eyes on him until he turned two. I've decided to be a part of my child's life but the only way I can do that is to let my wife know about him. I'm convinced she will leave me if she finds out but I'm tired of hiding and denying my own son. What do I do?
186 comments:
Shame on you and serves you right. Keep living a lie. You better tell her before she finds out. If she leaves you, carry your cross.
Tell ur wife d truth nd father ur son
Mr Cheater,
when you where cheating didnt you think of an exist strategy? Abegi carry your wahala go meet them for Aluu in Rivers State. How this one take concern LIBers?
Bia Linda, Abeg mind the kind story you should be posting for us here.
you see yourself? now you are looking for advice. why did you cheat in the first place? did she cheat on u?
well, u better look for a way to tell her. i wish u all the best.
...but u are wicked o! u kept a 6years secret from a woman u sleep with and say i love u to...and u say she is ur wife?
u do not deserve her!
mschewww
Ah, as a married woman myself, it will hurt, it'll almost kill me. I'm sensitive like that. But...
My advice is, sit her down, tell her you beg her with everything dear to her, her God, her kids etc. You're a man, sweet talk & beg. Then tell her. She'll be mad, but I'm sure with time she'll come around. African women are a lot stronger than even we realise. The crap we take. Well, just do jeje, small small. Beg her like your life depends on it- which it should!
As for you, well done o! Goal scorer! Shame on you. I hope you are remorseful sha?! Smh at you!
tell her..own up to ur mistakes..apologize....but u must not live in lies..u must make amends
Well, something have to be done. No matter how hard it maybe.
Good luck.
Aunty Linda please check your Facebook page inbox !!! (its important)
Okay. Oga, U̶̲̥̅̊ didn't say the kind of person Ūя̲̅ wife is. After all, we're I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ this part of the world where polygamy doesn't mean 10yrs imprisonment. So chill, what kind of person is shen so U̶̲̥̅̊ could knw the caliber of peeps U̶̲̥̅̊'ll call 2 make the meeting with her cus, truly, U̶̲̥̅̊'ll hv 2 tell her abt it.SHE's ŪЯ̲̅ WIFE!!
The truth can't be hidden forever... Tell her a story about a lady who left her husband when she found out he had a son before (or between) her marriage. Ask her what she will do if she is in her shoe.
(please, am just read a novel, and this is real life story.)
Plz the best thing t̲̣̣̥O̶̲̥̅̊ do if Ɣơ̴̴̴̴̴͡ΰ are confused is t̲̣̣̥O̶̲̥̅̊ commit #suicide
No she won't leave cuz u have a child,she'll leave cuz ur dick was dumb and put your whole family at risk by sleeping with another woman with no condoms.Then again if she leaves,now what?with 3 kids?if she has a Good life n she treats u well,she aint going no where even if she did there's no faithful man out there so she's leaving at her own future loneliness and for 4yrs I'm sure she must have suspected something I don't get how a man I'm married 2 can hide stuff when I know everything right now abt a guy I wanna date and we haven't even met.Just tell her while y'all in bed and kids are sleeping,she won't be able 2 over react or tell her over dinner or in church any public place will make her act less crazy.Good luck next time ex or current,strap it up
My dear, the answer to your question is Blowing in the wind.
U got d child b4 or after marriage? Whch ever1 just tell her, she can't leave cos u hv a child wit anoda woman, jus look 4 d best tym to teLl her.......
be a man and let her know cus eventually she will find out.
u just beta tell her,if she luvs u she wil stay with u,make sure ur part of dat childs life.
Is your wifes mother alive? Does she like you?Go andmeet her and report yourself first. Then beg her to advise on how to break it to her daughter. Its very painful. Your wife might not forgive you. If she does, she would never forget. Now the baby mama would want to assert herself (they usually do) You have to put her in her place. They are theives anyways. Why would you have a kid for someones husband, if its not to break their home and cause confusion. You sef, you be oloju kokoro. Ashewo okurin. When you are going to your in laws, please take an elder uncle who has sense. Goodluck? You sure need it.
stupid foolish man....God will definitely punish you for adultery
Hey Buddy,
The best way to deal with trauma or situations like this, is to deal with it – not sweep it under the carpet. You've hurt your wife and kids no doubt.However,recognizing your mistake and accepting responsibility is what will stand you out no matter how mad your wife and kids would be.
Call your wife,sit her down and let her know what is going on.Apologize for your indiscretions and be really really sorry about it. Accepting responsibility and desiring to be a part of your son's life is a beautiful thing. And if your wife really loves you, will support you on this journey.
A real Father shows you who you are. Leads, never pushes. Instructs and protects. A real Father will always love you -- never abuse you.
Go be a real FATHER to your son.
People sha. Sir, tell your wife and do right by that child. Keep your snake in your pants and quit causing people heartache all around. It is sad that married men and women can be so careless with vows. None of us are perfect but goodness gracious alive, self control and discipline is available to them that seek it.
Please learn from this lesson and keep your eyes and pants at home.
Mehn I think sincerity pays,is better u free u guilt by telling ur wife,if she's da understanding typ she would understand dan making da poor boy live a missarable life lyk I experienced. Thank you
Its always an ex-issue in every relationship... Well, ur son needs u and u have to make that sacrifice for him . You might be shocked to realise that ur wife might already knw abt him bt is waiting for u to come clean @ the right time. U seem like a good man and pls be a better father for ur son and take the bold step and tell ur wife the whole truth. She'll be diffinately mad @ u bt not forever I pray. Goodluck!
kids are blessings from God. come out clean, i guess she ll understand as a mother that she is.
Just go ahead and tell ur wife right away. there is nothing coming from d sky d ground cannot take.just prepare ur mind for d consequences, it might at d end go in ur favour(that is gain ur wife and ur son). But ultimately, please be a part of ur sons life, if ur wife loves u she would stay cos the act was committed before marriage. But ensure u apologize profusely, cos u robbed ur wife of the right to decide if she wanted to spend d rest of her life a guy with a kid. All da best as u go along with ur revelation.
kids are blessings from God. come out clean, i guess she ll understand as a mother that she is.
Dude, you should have made this known before marriage, damage would have been less.Just arrange an atmosphere to break it down with her, if your wife really loves you, she will understand.
Bia nwokem what is strong with u? Are u mad? Mcheew onye ala
your mistakes are in the past - focus on the future - the longer you hide the worse it'll get - plus you son needs a father - he shouldn't also pay for your mistakes.
Pray!pray!pray, tell your wife - she'll get angry and cry but will get over it - if she loves you she'll stay as long as you don't break the trust again - time heals all wounds - it will take a long time but you gotta do it now -
The point is that whether you tell her or not eventually the truth will come out and if you're going to say that not telling her is not a lie, that's wrong cause it's like by omission. If I were you i'll tell her because i'll rather her leave me for manning up and owning up to my mistakes than her leave me for being a liar and a lying cheating scum.
The point is that whether you tell her or not eventually the truth will come out and if you're going to say that not telling her is not a lie, that's wrong cause it's like by omission. If I were you i'll tell her because i'll rather her leave me for manning up and owning up to my mistakes than her leave me for being a liar and a lying cheating scum.
The point is that whether you tell her or not eventually the truth will come out and if you're going to say that not telling her is not a lie, that's wrong cause it's like by omission. If I were you i'll tell her because i'll rather her leave me for manning up and owning up to my mistakes than her leave me for being a liar and a lying cheating scum.
heehehehe u're not wicked but wuckard.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310
Let ur wife get a man to impregnate ur wife n y'all can take care of the5 children together... Onise kuse Okunrin. Oloju kokoro
Mr man learn 2 leave a straight life 4 once!!!!!u must not live a fake life 2 make it cos 1day they will b staring@u.Jst tell ur wife d truth n pray she accepts it cos dis type of news is always devastating*men!!!men!!!hmmmm nawah o*Linda oya carry go*
First of all you are a big fool and I pray God punishes you well for this pain you have brought on your wife...whatever did she do wrong to deserve this from you? I don't think you love your wife, cos if you do you wont keep such big secret for such a long time?..you have been living a life filled with lies. Tell your wife what you have done and be ready for her anything she says or does. So you already know the kind of wife you have as in she will leave you if she finds out yet you went ahead to impregnate another woman ( be it your ex or not) the fact that it's your ex even makes it worse gosh! By the way if she forgives you, don't think that gives you the licence to start sleeping with your baby momma.... Your ex I mean. Cos you men now under the pretence of I'm going to see my son, you start sleeping the his mother behind your wife's back. The shit women take sometimes, only God will help us. You should also know that even if she forgives you, she will never forget and don't you ever give your wife headache or heartache cos of this your new found son. Finally, have you gone for DNA to confirm his your son? You also didn't tell us if your wife gave birth to all girls and you were looking for a male son.
Either way you have completely wronged your wife nod sinned before God if you married her in a church. Men these days don't have respect and value for marriage they just sleep with women outside of their marriage like it's okay and cool.
Linda did u just say if d wife loves him she will support him. I really don't blame you linlin, its bcos u r not married, data why can open dat ur gutter u call mouth and say rubbish. Idiot. I pray u get married one day and ur hubby will sit u down and tell u dis. I pray u handle it like a gentle lady. Everytime u just talk trash. Don't really blame you. Meanwhile if u like don't post dis cost I trust u na u way..... Mr man d idiot wen u were ducking without condom u didbt kw d end result , idiot its God day will punish u and d slut u got pregnant. Oloshi, ode, oloriburugu. I wonder way is wrong wit men of these day, u r cheating its nt enuf for u , u still went ahead to risk d poor woman life and d children. Pole like dis bastards day gives thr wife TDs and even HIV. God will continue to punish u men day cheat. It shall never be well with u guys. So shall it be. Amen.
I beg go hide, mr righteousness!!
Useless bastards God will punish u, u will foreva suffer until u stop fucking another apart from ur wife. He goat. I will not have peace
Omo, you confess about your evil deed and there goes your wife, 3 kids and your marriage...but then again, if you dont confess the guilt will kill you. NA SERIOUS WAHALA YOU DEY OH! LOL
Common sense no common oh, just ordinary condom of 50pence could have saved you of this headache....AGBAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
easy! sing Ushers's confessions to her.Most likely you'll get a slap too. Be prepared ....
Ua jst an animal. Ur comment says it all. I guess ure frm aluu!. If u don't hv any meaningful contribution den STFU!.
Same way He wil punish u for fornication! Whoever made u a judge! Gaan sitdown pls.
you would be surprised that your wife already knows............
Be careful wit way u say, linda am talking to you.
Don't listen to all these people.Never ever tell your wife about it.I repeat,don't tell her.
How can you tell your wife that you have a son with another woman?No,you will be a fool if you do that.
Even if she finds out,deny it.As long as your mistress is not giving you wahala,don't tell your wife.What she doesn't know won't hurt her.
Why rock the boat?
You only tell your wife if the mistress is blackmailing you, that way,your wife will fight for you,and in the course of protecting her marriage,will be the one to direct you on how both of you would take care of the child.Make a woman feel that she's in control and she will fight for you.
If you are not having any problems with the mistress,your wife will be angry that not only did you have a child outside wedlock, that you are still in contact with the woman who gave you that child.And that is worse and will destroy your marriage.
Man/woman relationship is politics.Understand how to play it and you will be happy forever.
Stupid man! The last stmt in ur stori shows u care only about ur cheating self. I know what is on ur mind... U hv a 6 yr old british child who is speaking queens english and u want to show him off to ur friends abi! Oloshi! I pray God comforts ur wife and blesses her own kids.
Now one question 4 u dis stupid cheat! What would u do if ur wife tells u one of ur kids might be her ex- boyfriend's? Would u forgive her?! Make sure u send Linda a reply! Nonsense man!
Can everyone just give d guy a break he made a mistake nd is looking for a way to correct nd ur all cursing before u curse check ur self really well remove d log in ur eye first nd my dear am a married woman nd I knw hw dis would hurt ur wife she may leave u but just knw dat u did d right thing nd if she really loves u, she would come back at least for d kids (ur kids r d only ones dat can help u at dis point)
Must u comment, Haba get busy dude.
Liyliy, way u waiting for to post my comment. Don't let me say dis again. Post nw.
R u now trying to be a part of ur son's life bcos (maybe) ur oda children r all girls?! If so, then u r not really remorseful, & ur wife may, most likely, not accept him into ur home.
All d same, tell her.
Must u comment, Haba get busy dude.
U must tell noni
Tell your wife the truth OK. Free yourself from this guilt.
@ anon 10:17 smh, does dat help solve his solution at all? if u ave nofing to say, don't comment biko. Neway guy, do tell ur wife... if she truly loves u den she's not going anywhere n ll be accepting of ur child. gdluck
how would u no she will leave or stay if u dont try? as hard as it sounds u just have to do it to in order to have inner peace. good luck bro.
Tell the person your wife respects well so that the person will break the news and beg her. The boy is ur son. Act before he hates u
pips read the story the guy said ex girlfriend he might have had the baby before he got married ... but note he had the baby in 2006....
however back to the issue at hand... I think you should just tell your wife quickly before she reads lib and find out for all you care she might just be waiting for you to Say it
..
Lmao... Commit sucide!! U wicked fa
Just sit her down and tell her. If you can't face her, write her a letter/email. The most important is assuring her that it was an unexpected blessing and that it will never happen again. The sooner you tell her the better. Its good of you to want to be a part of your sons life. How will she leave you, if she depends on you? Just make sure there is peace in your home.
Why are you afraid? If you were brave enough to go and sleep with another woman without the thought of the consequences quenching your lustful desires, then you should also be brave enough to tell her you don fuck up. Na life. African wives take an awful lot of bullshit and if she depends of you, as in house wife....then you have absolutely nothing to worry about. She'll be mad obviously but will come round to the idea of having a step child later. Just pray she's not one of those obanje's that will use anger and turn your life upside down.
Oga well done o.
This is for those of you that like running your mouth to say rubish on this blog, there nothing wrong in seeking for advice on this blog if you don't have anything positive to contribute to the issue on ground u don't have to comment. This man has realise his wrong but he doesn't know how to go about it, that's why he seeks for advice on the blog or do you want him to commit suicide? As for you young man, there is no two ways to go about it, just open up to ur wife and tell her the truth nothing but the truth because its only the truth that can set you free. You don't need anyone to help you tell her or go to any mother inlaw, u are a man n not a kid. Settle this by ur self don't get a 3rd party involved in this. That's my advice for u.
Hahahaahaa! LIBers oh!! U pple have finished the man with insult!
Bonario eh! LMAO! Okwa no Wukard! lmao!
If people comes here with a problem bothering them no matter how stupid it sounds, I think people shld just be courtful and civil enough to advise or ignore them and not curse or abuse them like the way folks do here. People judge other as if they are saints or Jesus who never sinned! Even Jesus advises and corrects with love and never cursed any sinner the way folks do here. To ere is human and to forgive is divine. There are lots of people with issues that are killing them which a candid and sincere advice would have alleviated what they are going through but when they see the way people curse and judge them on this blog, they retract into their shells, keep mum and keep suffering in silence. We all blame the Aluu4 jungle justice but little did we know that judging and cursing people here for confessing their wrongs is also a form of jungle justice! Pls let's see some changes in our attitude and learn to treat all human beings with courtesy and love!
Oloriburuku shameless man. You guys will be cheating like fools. Like the uncontrollable dogs you are. I hope she not only leaves you, but takes you to the cleaners as well. You are not worth her tears or pain. How can you be unfaithful and then do it to the extent of pregnancy. Let my future husband try that shit with me
hmmmm Chika E-xxxxxxxxxx is this you? somebody wants to be fucked up this month. It better not be who I am thinking
Hey guys, at this point you have to take a bold step, Yes! people for sure will give all kinds of advice but hey, go to ur wife give her a nice treat make her very happy at the peak of it just find a way to tell her ok, she is ur wife. Most times men go out of there ways but the good thing is that they always come home. if u want to be sincere let you wife know and make her accept the child to love the child like she gave birth to the child. i am a woman and i have seen alot even if she goes, u will be happy within u that u made that bold step. DONT deny ur son pls children this days love to be with both parents. He might be going for weekends with his really mother though as u want it but pls stand up to your right. Thank You.
its a man's world whether u like it or not and i am not praising you though since u have a wife and beautiful kids what else do u want?? your woman can give you a football team if you want but cheating out is just not called for. that which you see in other women give ur wife such treat and make her look good as not to get outside attention. Just do as i said above. I would love to know how it goes after all. if you mind.
I don't know why I feel the kids he has with his wife are all girls and the only reason why he wants a relationship with his son is because he hasn't been able to have a boy with his own wife.
Your wife will not leave you....for now at least,because her kids her young and African women are taught to accept mess like this. But be very careful. Your life is about to change drastically and you'll need to be very close to God at the moment.
God has forgiven you, but He will punish you. God does not like 'ojoro' too. Ask your wife sincerely for forgiveness. Dont go with the attitude of I'm-an-African-man-I-have-the-right-bullshit.
Be honest, do you want a relationship with ur son or another wife? #WhenOkaforsLawBites
....starting point is to confirm the boy is even yours (DNA) b4 bursting ur bubbles.......
Errrm i dont have a solution for u,but as some people said"tell her mother,tell the person she respects the most"etc,i dont agree to that.my marriage counsellor advices that no 3rd party comes in to your marriage.so deal with it internally.beg her like ur life depends on her forgiveness.buy her lovely stuff and all,but know that your marriage may not be the same again .God help you on this,tough one.
Yaw...Whateva! You already know the answer dude. Stop wasting space!
Like this: 'I have a kid with another woman' simple, no jara no Cutting corners. Just point blank
you d ve told her even before getting married. That d ve saved you all these. She needs to know because If it gets to her ears from somewhere else it Wont be funny. Thats What ll hurt her badly. Call her on a Good day and explain to her. I feel for the lady
You are MAD as usual.
BLOGLORD has gone mad again!
Have you not any secret you're keeping from a loved one for more than 6 years?
So, in the write-up, you read that he cheated on the wife?
*Over sabi as usual.....*
Kai so this is the kind of English used in Ekitipoly??? Shame on Ekitipoly!!!
Between ur son and ur wife chose one , for me I will chose my son,blood is thicker than water.tell her if she wants to leave let her go
Lol its obvious u r an Igbira man
The Anonymous doesn't even know if it happened before or after the writer got married.
I am amazed at how Nigerians curse using God's name!
#Mo sorry fun gbogbo yin#
Don't listen to all these people.Never ever tell your wife about it.I repeat,don't tell her.
How can you tell your wife that you have a son with another woman?No,you will be a fool if you do that.
Even if she finds out,deny it.As long as your mistress is not giving you wahala,don't tell your wife.What she doesn't know won't hurt her.
Why rock the boat?
You only tell your wife if the mistress is blackmailing you, that way,your wife will fight for you,and in the course of protecting her marriage,will be the one to direct you on how both of you would take care of the child.Make a woman feel that she's in control and she will fight for you.
If you are not having any problems with the mistress,your wife will be angry that not only did you have a child outside wedlock, that you are still in contact with the woman who gave you that child.And that is worse and will destroy your marriage.
Man/woman relationship is politics.Understand how to play it and you will be happy forever.
U probably are a major general in lying.your name sef is a lie. Who dash u Sasha Fierce? How can u advise that he keeps this away from his wife? He's already kept this away for 6yrs and u r saying he should deny it if she finds out? He made a mistake and he's man enough to own up to it. People like you are the reason why people like him make stupid mistakes, because they listen to advice from fools, which they will later regret. Mcheww!!!
Thank you for that!!!
He probably will my dear. And there's nothing u will do but cry ur eyes out, rant and rave. But the truth is u will forgive and accept him back. So stop running ur gutter mouth and give d guy a break. All of u(u inclusive @ anon 1:33) should better stop forming self righteous because
See them ooo, self righteous hypocrites. Of what use will your curses be to this guy now? He's accepted his mistake and wants to make amends and he's asking for advice and u animals r raining abuses on him. This will probably hurt his wife, that they have been living their marriage in a lie for 6years. Dude, its better late than never. U have to come clean, before someone else beats u to it. That ex-gf of yours would want to start claiming right in your home and this will get ugly. Put her in her place, your son is your only business. Pray to God to help you on this one, ask for forgiveness from God, then tell your wife. If she truly loves u, she will forgive but healing will come with time and you are going to have to earn her trust again. Good luck, you are going to need it.
Linda, this dude came on here to ask for advice and that's what he should get. Some of your readers just use this opportunity to bad mouth people and the main purpose of the guy coming on here is defeated. You really don't have to post comments that don't help but will rather dampen the mood of the person. What haven't they called that guy? And if you check now, most of them have done worse things and are now forming holy. Let him who has no sin cast the first stone.
Please be sure that the child is yours. If you are not sure, please do a DNA test just to be sure before you open up to your wife about him. And be careful how you go about the paternity testing stuff(so that it doesn't hurt your ex that you doubt you are the father of her son) All the best to you.
Just reading all d comment n everybodi is saying tell ur wife she ll unstnd bcos its d man dat has dis problem if it ws 2 b d woman nw everybodi ll say send her away she's nt faithful 2 u. Mr wot were u tinking sleeping arund wit ur ex witout condoms r u alrty u didn't even tink of sickness, if she dey shake u lyk dat y u no marry her? She sef na big fooooooooooooool man wer no marry u na him u carry ur bodi kip 4, tell her if she leav u na u sabi, n don't even tink dat she can't leav u after 3 kids cos if she decide to leav den she ll do it, but I ll advice her 2 stay cos of her kids sha.
the deed hs bn done. No one is perfect. It will definately hurt ha if u tell ha,bt it might end ur marriage if she finds out haself. U v alot of wrk to do,so begin now!
As 4 u men out thrcheatin,dnt tnk bcos u ve nt a bastard u r better! Its d same adultery!
Goto a heart 2 heart centre na.
So luv will make her stay with a cheating man dt fathered a child outside wedlock n kept it a secret for 6yrs n then nw encourage him to av a relationship with d child....IS SHE JESUS?????? Beta stop giving advice as if we r living in a perfect world...then again if we were living in a perfect world dis man wudnt av been cheating n possibly exposing his wife to std...my advice is tell herr n then beg like ur life depends on it...cs rily its nt jst about ur wife even ur kids will be affected by dis...
Some men are just useless, you will misbehave at the end of the day you will be begging for forgiveness honey pls, honey it wa the work of the devil kitikpa racha gi anya, when you dey fuck am you no know, a married man you better open up to your wife because if she finds out herself kasala go burst i don't know why married men can't ever stay faithful to their wives mtcheww quick to do stupid things and will be begging for forgiveness if na your wife tell you say she fuck another man get him pikin, how yo go feel? better open up yes she will be hurt but if she loves she will not leave you. i no surprise if person come here ask pls linda my wife sabi mess well well, wetin i go do? or my wife dey snore every night like broken pipe, wetin go do?
I have seen this story before. And the moment it came out, it tore the family apart. Wife against husband, kids against husband and it could never be repaired again. Husband finally died sad. Aperantly the mistress was the nicest woman i have ever met, a heart of Gold.
Ok back to your situation. "It wasnt' you" Period !
Continue to live the lie, take care of your son in secrecy and if you ever get problems from your ex, it wasn't you.
Its not the first time shit like this has happened. You started the lie, live it.
How would you feel if you wife told you one of your kids is not yours ? Yes exactly what i thought.. Marriage OVER ! A woman would live that lie if one of the kids she has is not her husbands. She would take the lie to her grave.
Sorry man. This is part of the life of a man. Women would never understand.
I won't tell, over my dead body i won't.
Good luck !
send to her facebook inbox , lol ode
huh tell her now just the way u are telling the world.
send to her facebook inbox , lol ode
Dear,its nt ur fault dat u fathered a child n besides,dat happened long b4 u married her. 4 dat singular reason,kindly tell her n 4rm my experince,no wife will leave her hubby bcos of somtin dat happened vry long ago although she will hurt deeply.2ndly,d gift of a child is olwaz precious n so,no father shld stay away 4rm his child. Its God's precious gift n a part of u. Lastly,if ur wife decides 2 leave whn u tell her,it will be her loss somday. Stay strong. Stay forcused!
Hey who be Chike ooh? Nancy don catch you ooh. Wahala.
On a seriuos note, go and meet your wifes mother, cos thats the first person shes going to tell. Beg her. Abuse the other woman that she seduced you and you dont understand what came over you. Keep reassuring her of the love you have for her and mean it! If you both attend the same church, report yourself to pastor or priest to help counsel her. Its really painful. I am a married woman with years of experience. This has happened to alot of people around me. I am waiting for my own, though i pray it passes over me. Men, be careful. They are lots of jezebels out there, ready to destroy. Women dont trust your husbands too much, so when such happens, you dont kill yourself. Have friends that go to Yaba left cos of depression from men and their wahala. Protect your youself and dont live in lala land thinking it can never happen to me. Goodluck
Just Do It! Tell Her Now!
Eeeewwwwww!!! Too much naija movies.
PoC, there are faithful men!!!!!!!
Did you have the kid before or during your marriage?
na wa for una for dis blog ,u have not helped the guy in any way ,u just they abuse am
Eeeewwwwww!!! Too much naija movies.
I'd advice you go see a pastor or someone that your wife respects so much and explain everything to him/her. Then tell your wife and make the person beg her on your behalf. The earlier you tell her the better lest she finds out by herself and something drastic happens. We all make mistakes sometimes, and this is yours. May God help you.
of
go nd sort it out with her,if she truely luv u,she wil 4giv.am a woman,i knw she wil feel vry bad,but jst open up nd save your marriage now
Better tell her NOW. Yes its difficult to do, but believe me its d best. If she finds out herself, I swear no soap, even Ariel, go wash u clean!!! U'll forever be a cheating liar! Its going to be rough with your r/ship after u tell her, but hey what do u expect! Just stick to her, PAMPER her, and I don't mean "do today and forget tmrw o", I mean for the rest of your lives together!, listen to her ALWAYS, don't judge her,take her out, PAMPER her (I'm a woman- this goes a LONG way, I know) generally show her the reason why u married her! Na u give urself work by cheating, so start now! Eh hen, and PRAY! U need it.
@Sasha Fierce...u r on point, so much robert greene art of seduction...i agree wit u.
Its bad enough that for six years you kept a secret such a this from her. the least you can do now is to tell her and father you son and bear the consequences afterwards. You have sinned, forgive yourself n move on. think about the boy... your son that needs a Father.
Good see you through.
The earlier you tell your wife the better for your marriage... if they will be one after telling her.
There is best time to tell, don't procastinate, just man up and tell her, when your wife isn't stressed. I'm a married woman, but this ended a reationship I was in before I got married. The dude back then had a 2yr old son n neva told me. When he evetually did, lied that the mother of the child died. When we went to see his folks for introduction. I was told by his mum that the lady is very much alive and he was paying her tution in the university. I was so upset I ended the relationship. But this is a diff case, yours is marriage so the earlier you tell your wife and apologise for the circumstance the better.
tell your wife and father that son bcuz if you do not father that son like u do your other kids he would hate u when he gets older and the wrath of GOD would follow you till you die. your wife would understand in the end.
As u were a man to put your dick inside her,be a man and tell your wife.d burden is on your head.deal with it and stop bugging us
First of all,I think u ought to sit down with your baby mama& have a heart to heart talk or with your mum/parents because at the end of the day,these are the people that care about you. Most of the people here have very limited vocabulary& would sit on their holier than thou behind to thrash you. Children are blessings from God. And at the end of the day,you are the head of your own home. There is nothing new under the sun& except your baby mama is not matured enough to realize she has more to gain if you are involved in your child's life without necessarily upsetting your wife then I think you should be fine. If it is a must your wife knows,then let your parents or her parents tell her,she's be mad at you for breaking her trust but will she really leave you even if she has only one child for you? Personally I don't think so because most men are polygamous by nature anyway. The fear of God is the most important factor in your story right now.- Wande.
It is you that is oloriburuku!
Tell her jare, why will she leave you because of that? If she truly love you she wont leave you.
Well spoken! God bless!
Pls where in the bible did God say one man one wife? I am really curious.
AMEN. U will never have peace. From now till you stop sinning,you will never have peace. God will punish you and make you suffer till you stop sinning.
Hmnnn black man and white man's mentality! My dear,embrace your son,embrace your first& second wife. If your wife believes in God she will remember that Love is the first commandment & if your second wife also believes in God,she will come in peaceful. But then this is the real world,where man is selfish by default. First wife wants to be the only one,second wife wants to upstage first wife....I wish u luck my guy!!!
People need to chill on this blog, stop being so self-righteousness, cursing the man, he knows he has done something bad and hes trying to make things right. Dont listen to sasha fierce o, saying you should not tell your wife, the best thing you can do is to sit her down tell her and grovel for forgiveness, like anon 1:05 said, dont involve a 3rd party, let it be between the two of you, im sure she wont want the whole world toeat hear. Just man up and do the right thing and be good.
Onishekushe oshi..anyways,my advice is sing a song 4her(usher's confession)nd get a blow 4ur blokus*tongue out*
Sounds lik u don't hv a son to me,hence d word "beautiful kids". Its gonna hurt bt u just hv to let it out. Then assure her u won't hv any contact wt his mother since she is an ex cos dats d only way she will agree. Slikky!
MONKEY MAN! SHUT UP YA MOUTH DER OLOFOFO
What a surprise. I see a lot of insults and tag 'Mr Cheater'. The same people who don't like d same for Kristen Stewart and talked so much about everyone deserving a second chance. The woman this man slept with, like Ms Stewart, was sleeping with a married man. I am not against all d yabs this man is getting, I am just against hypocrisy.
Involve the extended family if they are good people. It happened to my parents. My dad got his people to go and beg my mum's parents. Her family spoke to her about it. If you tell her yourself, there's no telling her reaction. Matters of the heart can bring fearful reactions. Especially something as painful as this. Make she no come attack you. Make sure her folks are there to provide a buffer between you and madam who will most certainly lose it. Another thing is this is no longer our parents time, she may walk and end things. Also our mums/grandmas etc were mostly raised to accept such children unconditionally, not today, she may resent the child to the point it will affect your relationship. My siblings and my half sister are so close people don't know we don't have the same mum. Goodluck.
The best thing to do is tell your woman, it's going to be tough at home but you must re-assure her of your love. One other thing to do is make sure she's part of all your decisions concerning your son. I can tell you this cause i've been through it. My hussy did the same thing some years back but he was quick to tell me before the child was born and he also made sure i am part of every decision making process. I can only pray God will guide you through this difficult time
i know someone that has dis kind of story too and the guy is abusive to the woman .atleast u have a heart .just tell your wife and step up to ur responsibility as afather to your son and see how things will fall in place for you.
I"d simply say you should tell your wife...you have kept it a secret for too long, don"t expect her to take it easy on you cos its really a big scar..wish you the best in fixing back your marriage...
Visit beccasdelite.blogspot.com
E bu ezigbote EWU....dats all i have to say to u!!!
So what's the eeww for ?? Please don't abuse the phrase! Thankyou
if him wifee na kwam 1 wife wetin u want make she do ,abeggggg ur sin small compared to kwam 1
Honestly Linda you and your followers are just hilarious , I am sat in my office laughing so loud,am surprised no one has come over to my office to ask me why, people are wicked sha, so this guy ask una advice and nah to insult am una heart send una nah wah oo. God will have mercy upon us .
My brother we serve a forgiving God in as much as you have confessed he has forgiven you , tell your wife the truth , cause love never lies, love is patient most of all love covereth all sin, so if you guys have a genuine love, then it will be ok, nonetheless God will work every thing out for your good you are blessed
If my husband made such a confession to me, I would be mad obviously but the truth is no human is perfect , we sin daily yet the almighty forgives us so who are we not to show this same grace to our fellow human beings? I would definitely forgive him and definitely encourage him to be in his son's life , cause that little boy needs guidance from both father and mother, a mother cannot play the role of a father, that is the problem in society today, children raised in homes without fathers are at an increased risk of following wrong directives. And the young boy has other siblings he needs to know and be part of their lives , before e go sleep with em sister give am belle, or introduce em sister as em wife. LOL
In addition he who is without sin cast the first stone.....One love people of God
He nids Ūя advice
Have U̶̲̥̅̊ visited http://naijamustchange.blogspot.com 2day?
Thank you!
How is your stupid answer supposed to help? Dude, tell her, she may not leave. And if she does, take your son, you have more of a responsibility to him than your wife.
My dear u made a mistake,and u need 2 tell her,u ave 2 be part of ur sons life no body wants 2 grow up witout a father,so d earlier u tell her d beta b'coz wat wud hurt her d most z how long u cud kip such 4rm her and lie 2 her face,she wud definately b devastated but kip praying and trusting in God he wud make her 4give u,it wud b hard 4 her 2 trust u but wit God she wud again,jst tell her and 1 lesson u shud learn 4rm dis z neva 2 cheat on ur spouse again
same thing happening to this man.....is affecting me too right now. a girl got pregnant for me according to her. am not married but about to and, i dont know how to face my main girl ( wife to be) on this issue.
Please act fast.....make d confession n b a part of ur sons life!It will all end well but not without d initial brouha ha! cheers
its a small world ,i know dis guy and trust me he is not as nice as he sounds.na real bully
cheating is d fastest way to murder love. If love happens to survivie cheating dat love will suffer bursies. Betrayal is d saddest pain of love. If ur faithful and loved ur partner d person cheated on u. Dats d worst feeling in d world,infact u can never understand d pains untill u exprienced it. It can change ur entire life. When love is betrayed it kill d spirit.
Heya I feel ur pain dude, but dis is really funny tho, I tink u already know wot to do and u just need sum1 to tell u ur on d ryt path. I hope u r ready for wot may come afterwards? All d best to you.
that's bad not to have a role in your son's life. The truth sha set u free.
Dear Brother,
The only advise i have for you is to tell your wife. Whether you like it or not she would still know. Be remorseful and am so sure she would understand after she might have slapped you and cried over the issue.
Sasha Fierce obviously lives a lie and has a child in the village she's hiding from her husband and friends.
Adrian,ur so stupid it hurts!responsibility towards his son dan his wife???are u a sick person?how abt is responsibility towards his "3 beautiful children"pls shut up if u dnt know what to say!
Pls b4 u go and tell her,ask urself this question;if ur wife comes home one day and tells u she has a six yr old son outside,how wld u react?ansa ur own question,den do what u believe is best.
True, d ryt thg to do is to tell her, but d safe thg is to keep her in d dark. At ds point what will hurt her more is d fact dt u kept it away all these yrs, dt rlly devastating. Hweva keep it away until wn d child is abt 15, dn she'll be older and can't leave but beg her rlly BEG her bc a betrayer is like a murderer, never to be trusted. Moreso ur children dts also important bc dy'll b older and wiser. My bro I pity u bc d burden oof keeping such a secret is overwhelming and u can only be free wn u tell her sorry.
If hweva u decide to tell her, it is well, call ur pastor or sm1 she rlly respects and honours beg her BEEEEEGG her, call ur children, clean shame beg her, she's a woman she'l forgv maybe never forget but it will pass.
We all err, its human, God forgvs. Resolve to improve ur rltnsp with her, mk her see u are trully sorry. Time will heal every wound. As for ur son, its a new dawn in all ur lives. Godspeed.
Babafemi, thanks for speaking my mind. Some idiot like Dt anon;10:18pm needs hot slap.
Start by telling her something is bothering you and you don't know how to say it - let this linger on for weeks, maybe even a month or two. Also tell here its so bad that you think she'll probably leave you once you tell her and start apologising already (if you're truly sorry) - this way she's preparing her mind for the worst sort of news and you'll be committed. Eventually tell her how sorry you are again then pop the news. But you must tell her!
Hope this helps.
The guy ask for advise the women are calling him a cheater, half of the people calling him a cheater have 3 boyfriends and a sugar daddy. look i denied my son for 14yrs because i wanted to be with a yellow babe, as soon as i brought her to yankee she left me for a guy she met on facebook, then i started playing catch up after 14yr, don't let the same happen to you, your wife can leave you for other reason, your son is your blood he will alway be there. trust me if u can afford to send money to london your wife is not going to leave you. like they say man no dey fall for tree, if you have been good to her, she will get upset but in time she will get over it...
lind u never post my comment this might help this dude
Seconded!!!!!
& the best place to seek for advice is on blogs en?! #olodo
honey i have a son with another woman...dats how u tel ha...well what eva hapns nxt....bear it
Mr man, how would you feel if your wife suddenly tells you she has a child outside your marriage?huh?maybe lets say she says sorry honey , but you know whule you had that business trip ...was when i actually concived our 2nd child and she belongs to your friend!!! looser, you gonna break a poor womans hrt
Point of correction! He got his 'EX' preggie when he travelled, dats to say, he was already married!
And U Mr Cheat, it wud come easier wit your wufe if the said son, isnt born before ur legit son, OR is he??? Haaa! wahala go dey be dat ooo.
First tin first, Treat ur wife like a princess for a couple of days, make her promise she will never leave U even if the sky drops, then go on ur knees tell her U have offended her for 6yrs, cry for real if possible and better be remorse about it! Break the news!!! holding her and make sure u dnt let go even as she tries to loose grip, hold her till God knows wen and cry until she holds U back... She will come around, then U can let ur extended families into it by then ur wife got ya back.... :)
Says>>>>RedCherries ff me on twitter @Tweet_Cherry
If your wife loves you , she'll vent, craze, cry, threaten, maybe even leave you for a while, but she'll come round, if she truly loves you and wants a family for her children, but your work doubles as you'll need to assure her everyday on for the rest of you lives together, PS: Its Important u remain a father your son.
Before you decide to potentially break your home, make sure that child is yours. Do a DNA test.
Adrian,ur so stupid it hurts!responsibility towards his son dan his wife???are u a sick person?how abt is responsibility towards his "3 beautiful children"pls shut up if u dnt know what to say!
Sad...that you will cause your wife so much pain...sad that she will feel betrayed...sad tou won't trust you anymore....sad you may have to work hard to win her love again...sad...sad...sad... But my brother....you must say the truth and stop hiding...because one day it will come out and it will be worse if she hears it from a third party....love the bible says covers a multitude of sins...you have to take the bold step of telling her....as the bible says he who hids his sin will not prosper..I do hope you have repented and given your life to Christ..that's the first step...pray about it...and tell your wife...imagine how YOU would feel if she broke the same news to you...discuss with your wife and pray she accepts the child...my uncle was in a similar situation and confessed to his wife, she went and took the child from the mother and brought her up as her own daughter( she already had 3 kids) today that woman and daughter are inseparable...loves the woman more than her own mother..mend your fences now and do the right thing..I'm sure the still small voice gas told you what to do...God help you. I also hope you are no longer committing adultery with the ex....proverbs 5:15-23..proverbs 6:20-35 and proverbs 7:1-27... Spend time with GOD and his word...he will make your wife be at peace with you.
That your wife is going to leave, hell no!what am scared of is that she might do sth funny.All I will advise is for u to pray & fast and put everything in the Hands of God.I believe God will make it easy for u to convince her.All the best.
Tell your wife the truth she deserves to hear it from you not from someone else, but make sure it's only your son that is in your life don't give your ex-girlfriend any special treatment so she does not destroy your marriage. Good luck!
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Why are men like this...how can u betray ur wife like this...if you find out that when u were abroad f..king about that she was humping your best friend without a child as product..how will u feel ..and if she conceived one of your"beautiful kids" during that period how will u feel....
When u were doing u ...without protection with another lady..why didn't u think. What if u contacted HIV I bet u would have given it to ur wife by now...sealing ur fate and hers just for ur lack of self control.....
Go and hang yourself immediately....that is what u should do mtsceew!
the truth shall set u free
naijaopenmouth.com
First i have to blame u for cheating on your wife, im sure u took a vow of for better for worse. ok, a child is not a crime, u need to speak to ur wife and beg for forgiveness as u would like to be in your son's life, be there for him and make her understand, the relationship with the mother of your son is over and just want to be part of your son's life. I found out my husband had a son a year after i got married, even tho my mother found out b4 we got married and he denied it and i stood by him then, to only found out from his family he actually has a son, that really hurt. so my advice is to speak to her ask for forgiveness b4 she finds out from another party. Good luck, hope it works out.
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Exactly, where did the bible say one man one wife? Until I find it I will not give up on my aristo ooo...the man dey help support and maintain me financially and moreover Nigerian culture is favourable to polygamy. If my husband fit get women outside nothIng should disturb me Biko!
@Bonario,r u so desperate for attention now that u'll comment on ur own comment using a different id...u look too young not to have a life so giddy up n get one *smh
After DNA u'd better tell else ur son and one of your daughters may just meet in future n unknowingly give u a grand child #incestThings
beg not only your wife but also ur kids. cuz if i found out dat my dad did somtin like this, i wouldnt forgive him nd will make himpay for doing a thing like dat to my mom who would never do that to him
Please let her know. Her reaction will be worse if she gets to find out from another source.
A child is a blessing from God their is no shame in that. Also trust in a relationship is very importantly. Don't be afraid to open up to your wife, look for a good time to tell her about the other child. If she really loves you and understand, she would look beyond that. Breaking free from hidden secrets in a marriage or relationship, helps the relationship stay strong. Remember know child is a mistake, you not been involved on that child's life at an early age, can mean a lot later on in life. Be positive and tell your woman the truth.
Am positive ur wife won't leave u,yeah ds is definitely gonna threaten to tear ur home apart plus she ll be heartbroken n may have issues trusting u again buh u just have to tell her n make her understand dat its ova btw u & ur ex. Ensure to play calm n take responsibilities 4ur action! Do everything within ur power to c to it dat ur kids re not affected.
Dis is ur mess so u have to clean it real quick. 6yrs? Wat d hell were u tinkin keepin it for dis long. If u are a Christian,now is the time u need prayers.
the nigerian holier than thou attitude, from pple who actually do worse, dude father ur kids, u love ur wife ye, if she loves u she learns to forgive and sticks wiv u, if she doesnt, then trust me on the scale of things, kids rank higher than wife's
My husband once cheated on me and told me after 15years of marriage and he also had a son. i forgave him because i love him and he is the father of my children. so my dear please tell your wife and her reaction might shock. but i tell u, is nt gonna be easy but wit time things wil get better.
@olamide morgan, y does anons10:18pm deserve a slap? dis u read d comment at all or u just felt like talking or typing?
Its the same nonchalant atitude that gets them dumped or divorced. You have done something wrong or else it wouldn't bother you this much, expect your wife to be hurt. How many men have forgiven such, but it is expected of the woman to have no emotion.
Give her time and let her know that it was a one time indiscretion. You will have to work to earn her trust.
And on the kids ranking higher than wife...look around you and see how many children cant wait to leave the nest or even bother to take care of their parent once they are married. Shall we continue to sin that grace might abound? Think about it.
Kk,normali,I'd read stuffs here bt never drp a comment cz hnstly sm sh*ts aint jst worth it bt dis actuali Ȋ̝̊̅§..first,dude,whoever u r,understnd dis,1 moment of weakness dsnt define u..u made a mistake,who dsnt?bt dnt ever,I repeat,ever look dwn on dt child as a mistake....fine,U̶̲̥̅̊я̲̅ wife might gt hurt,she myt wna end tyns,tho I doubt dt cz she gt 3 with u already,bt wotever hpns,u nid to tell her....6yrs Ȋ̝̊̅§ quite a preti long tym fr a child nt to hv a father figure in his life,he's gt 3siblings that he dsnt knw abt,3siblings that cld make his childhood fun..so....quit thinking,quit stalling,man up n tell U̶̲̥̅̊я̲̅ wife...afterall,its fr better or worse,nobody said marriage wld b a smooth ryd...thr wld b bumps on d road,jst hold hands n enjoy it....
Kk,normali,I'd read stuffs here bt never drp a comment cz hnstly sm sh*ts aint jst worth it bt dis actuali Ȋ̝̊̅§..first,dude,whoever u r,understnd dis,1 moment of weakness dsnt define u..u made a mistake,who dsnt?bt dnt ever,I repeat,ever look dwn on dt child as a mistake....fine,U̶̲̥̅̊я̲̅ wife might gt hurt,she myt wna end tyns,tho I doubt dt cz she gt 3 with u already,bt wotever hpns,u nid to tell her....6yrs Ȋ̝̊̅§ quite a preti long tym fr a child nt to hv a father figure in his life,he's gt 3siblings that he dsnt knw abt,3siblings that cld make his childhood fun..so....quit thinking,quit stalling,man up n tell U̶̲̥̅̊я̲̅ wife...afterall,its fr better or worse,nobody said marriage wld b a smooth ryd...thr wld b bumps on d road,jst hold hands n enjoy it....
My advice for you is to talk to people that she will listen to, maybe her dad, pastor or her close relatives. let those go to her and talk to her. cos the mistake have already been done. Goodluck
U have no choice than to tell her becos no matter how long u hide it for, it's still going to be know Sumday. U are not the only man that has gone through this, there have been people like u. Be brave snuff to face the consequences of ur action
Ok. Tell her but please let her also sleep with someone she fancies- just once. You can thereafter forgive each other. Case closed. Anuofia!
Tell them o! Faithful men exist, even if u want celebate men like me I'll find. Cant jeopardize my future cos of 5 mins of nothing! #straitface..
No one is above mistakes, besides he had the child before he met his wife so he is no cheat. I like your honesty. She might be hurt buh will recover.
i tink d earlier u tell her d truth, d better. afterall the lady in london knows ur married. ur wife will respect u for tellin her the truth dan she findin out. u will save ursef the trouble the future wen the boy will grow n come bak n start makin troubles. u must not marry the woman in london, she may find another man n get married to. that u hav a kid for her in london does not mean ur married to her. comom man, pls tell ur wife, u will be suprise she will be matured about it. all the best. we all make mistakes. for all those that tink ur a bad person, they ar the worst. alot of ppl do not even kw that they hav babes somewer. wen u hav sex, without condom, with someone u wudnt meet again in ur life....how sure ar u that she didnt take in. lets be iaful the way we condem ppl here. tnx
The man asked for advice from MEN!!!! NOT WOMEN for obvious reasons. All this feminine ranters typing "shame on you..", "when you were cheating you didn't know..." bla bla bla. You guys should stop writing like childish illiterates that cannot sufficiently comprehend a subject before launching unnecessary attacks.
Those accusing the man of cheating...BIKO HOW DID YOU GET TO THAT CONCLUSION?? He had the kid with someone he dated in the past and no where did he state that he was dating ( or had even met) his wife at the same time.
You female commentators really need the grace of God to tame your fingers as you should your tongue. Get wisdom...and with all thy getting, get UNDERSTANDING!
Mr LIB Issue: I'm a woman so I'm not your target market but I do hope you filter the responses you recieve here and find a conclusive approach to your matter. I'll be discussing this with my beau this evening.
He didn't say if the "three beautiful children" he has with his wife are all girls.
Nevertheless, this is about the child, not any of the adults concerned.
I think the husband should break the news to his wife -- with as much soberness and heartfelt "I am sorry" as possible. She will need time to come to terms with her husband's cheating and the fact that there is a constant, living reminder of that lie and infidelity.
It would also be cruel of the husband to impose this child upon his wife before she is ready to meet, or accept him. (This is where Skype and the internet come in handy.) So, as much as the husband wants "to be a part of [his] child's life", he has to wait until his wife can bear to look at his son without killing/cursing/beating the child.
***Lush
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