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| This is Mercy Nnamdi, the woman whose husband killed their son and burnt her with hot iron |
A LIB reader sent this in as a comment and wanted me to share with the rest of you...
I have been married for just two years with a 14 months old baby. About seven months after I got married my husband slapped me for coming home late. I was pregnant at the time. He slapped me again in December 2011 because of a statement I made to him. Then just last week he slapped me for the third time during an argument. He hasn't been very violent but I'm afraid it will happen one day. Should I be worried? Should I divorce him because he slapped me?
287 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 287 of 287Where did he learn the habit of slapping a woman from???????
why are you reporting to Linda and not your own/his family?????????
Why are you in this relationship really???????????????
YOU KNOW YOUR OWN TRUTH
If he shot you thrice, what would you do?
My greatest fear is getting married to an abusive man or even worse having his baby.
Try and be stern and let her know she is pushing you and you cannot tolerate such nonsense. Maybe leave the house for a week to teach her a lesson and that it she carries on like that things are not going to be looking good for he both of you.
He has already reached his limit...three is enough. It is time to cut him off!!!
Excuse you what rubbish are you sayin here. Who has advised her to divorce here so far???? I can't see anyone telling her that. So GOD created you so that you can be surpressed by another human being. Now except you where vile and insultive to your husband I dont see why you as a woman cannot have an opinion and be civil about it to your husband. Why would you walk on egg shells in ur marital home.you are supposed to build each other up in a relationship. So she should stay in her house and wait for him to be whole and control his temper and she should be his guinea pig while he changes. So sad! Now see how things play out, tomorrow somebody will ask why will a woman stay in an abusive relationship, this is one of the many reasons. They both need space from each other and he needs to grow. Because love is not violent.
Linda I just wan to know ur criteria for selecting comments?jst a simple advice was given and goin thru all over 180 comments nd I cnt find mine...sad much
Please ask yourself is this really your husband. Do you think this is what GOD chose for you? Because I will tell you right now for what you have said this man does not love you he just wants to control you he has no regard or respect for you. Go and pray and really think about this because there is no love on his part.
WALK AWAY PLEASE LET LINDA NOT POST A PICTURE OF YOUR MUTILATED BODY FOR US BY YEAR END..Olorun ma je
How is he a bad adviser he is telling the truth. So her life is not important. It is better to die than to stand firm and take care of her child.
GOD helps us but he also gives us choices and GOD actually tells you but more than Half the time we do not listen. It's her time to separate from her husband if he is changed and remorseful he will be back to fight for her. Simple!
Please dont divorce him yet, just inform him(in a public place) that you'ld like to be seperated from him for a while. Explain to him as gentle and as firm as possible. Dont tell him when you guys are alone oooo before he decides to beat you to dead for even thinking about it. Dont even think of listening to him even if he sheds tears. Inform him that you'll come back only after you are sure he's gone to see a shrink for counselling. Think of your baby. If he's becoming too difficult even after the seperation, call your families and explian your fears to them.
Based on what has been goin on in this country between couples, leave before you start blaming yourself, but dont divorce him. May wisdom guide you.
I'v been married for 2 years with a daughter and my wife has slapped me twice; pls should i divorce her? I swear I'v never hit her.
Dont only say it follow it up with a dirtier slap. If he lays his hands on u kick him in d groin and run away. I doubt he will slap u after dat but if he does leave him - forever
Dis is d best time to walk away b4 a child binds u together forcefully.
My friend had a wedding date with his girl,and the same girl was pregnant for one of our friends ,while they were trying to do abortion they were pinging until one day I saw our friend's wife to sent the guy a text saying the abortion didn't work,and
I was like whatttttt,finally I asked the guy "are
you sleeping with joseph's wife to be? And the
guy denied and said GOd forbid but I said
una dey ping na..then he knew I had seen a
text and that was when he started asking me
what did I see and I said she get bele for u
and the guy fell down begging saying he will
make sure everything dies down without our
friend knowing,before God and man the girl
and Joseph wedded in a church on adeniyi
jones in ikeja while she had another man's
baby. Finally the newly wedded wife went to do
abortion again and succeeded this time So
people should not just think a woman has to
divorce a man bcos he slapped you or
because he cheated.The pass code is TALK
LESS and LISTEN MORE bcos that's what triggers it most.Don't keep single or divorced women as your
close friends as they will want you to be like them ENVY. As for men,I think we feel women
are marginalized that's why,but I must
condemn it and will always do,we should nt hit
women no matter what and
I think we should always take a walk. Some
women leave the house and return anytime
bcos their single or divorced friends are telling
them to give it a try to stay out late,imagine a
married woman went
to work came back late and blame it on traffic
but have her mouth smelling of alcohol and
smoke.And some women want their men to beg and kneel down before sex ,some women
can't stop the aristoe life style on campus so in
marriage they forget most times and start
treating their men like aristoes. So if we check
it we have to balance this and never
encourage divorce. Marriage is
beautiful,marriage is sacred,it's a convenant,it's
a vow. Men and women should make marriage
work,yes we have domestic violence
everywhere but hey we still have happily
married couples, so Linda can you pls sometimes post pictures of couples doing well
in their marriages so we can also see the good
sides of marriage not only the ones they
poured hot water on. We have to promote
marriage with pictures too. Divorce is bad and
we all know. The ones that can't find a man
and the divorcees wish everyone can be like
them so no one will talk bad of them. I know in
life some people want to have people in the
same predicament with them to be happy and
say after all no be only me be single or
divorced. My advice to this lady is that,she has
to watch her ways,watch the husband's ways,If
the man doesn't change then invite parents if
not invite other extended families. Go to God
and seek help,always be optimistic not
pessimist . Stop looking at other couples achievements and be happy with ur man,don't
compare as men hate you comparing them to
people,help him by advising,listen to his
plans,support what he likes,let him know you
can't trade him for anything,don't be
materialistic,be on track and also don't forget
to let him know your views and plans for urself
as a wife,he has to support you and see reason why you have to be productive as a
woman,talkless I must repeat, as a woman he should always hear your opinion on issues . DIVORCE is not it at all,don't do it. Like I
always say some women never wanted a man
in their lives and they are the ones saying GO
and divorce and some women can't be a wife
as they are MEN physically and mentally.
Some women are very fine being single as long
as the aristoes are coming to them,don't ever
listen to such women pls. Men we have to
understand that we are men and stop hurting
these women,I know they hurt us too but hitting
and violence are not options. Then women pls
never enter a marriage with a mind set of IF IT
WORKS FINE BUT IF IT DOESN'T I WILL
DIVORCE.
You said it all. Women who use charm to marry men should expect anything when the charm fades.
You have said it all.
Slapping some1 is violence to me especially when she was pregnant for HIM. meanwhile, first report him to his parents and whoever he respects, and please leave pastor this and that out of it cos they will tell you to stay put and pray.
if he continues after the advice, which is highly probable, PLEASE RUN FOR YOUR DEAR LIFE O, THEY DONT EVA STOP. YOU ARE ALREADY FEELING GUILTY FOR INCITING HIM TO SLAP HIM, NEXT THING NOW, U GO WAN STAY N ALLOW HIM KILL YOU.
If u dont wanna live, pls think of ur baby that needs the mother alive.
USE UR TONGUE TO COUNT YOUR TEETH.
Next time he decided to slap you again, slap him back let him know you are no push over,if he is bigger than you, pack your load and leave,if not, he go slap you enter early grave.
Yes pls! Thats how it all starts, for him to hit because of a statement you made and also hit at one of the most delicate time of your life... then i think you gotta leave. You have given him 3 chances (3 slaps) so you cant give him another chance oo.
Ive been on Linda Ikeji and read so many comments. I've come to the conclusion that Nigerians are fake, opinionated, dumb-ass, religious fanatics and have absolutely no common sense and illiterate. I'm constantly amazed on the comments i see, partly because of what is written but mostly for the fact your comments are so stupid, I'm amazed you're capable of using computers or phones. If a man hits you, he's bully and a coward. you can choose to stay or you can choose to leave. it is your choice. To hell with all these broken home, religious BS half the people here are saying. it is your choice and it is your life.
One slap is one slap too many, a man should never hit a woman its time to leave
All y'all that are saying she should stay and pray should remember that if that late Skye bank staff (Titilayo) had not listened to retards like you, she might still be alive to be a mother to her child...
My advice is to runnnn first..nit divorce him yet but runn...and let every1 (i.e. your pastors, immedate family members) know what's happening in your home...
You both need to seek counsel.Its important that your husband recognise he has a problem...let him know you are afraid to walk off, if not for your sake but for the sake of your child also....
Definitely hold on on baby number 2 until this is all sorted out.....
For all y'all crazy beings that think there's any justification for domestic violence.....there's no help for you.....
you better run for ur life cos that was how my sister endured till she died last week Friday.
Honey, seek divine intervention, many of us get into marriage thinking it is a bed of roses, all that glitters are not gold, marriage is an institution, ordened by God, don't think its all about kissing and pleasures, temtation abounds, and should be tackled with prayer, when such comes, seek for divine help, dialog with ur partner, that is when he is at his best, if it does not work, tell ur spiritual leader, then his parents and urs, divorce is not an option, at worst seperat, and believe me it works. Be careful with some coments here, many people rush into marriage and so shall they rush out, sampling men in the name of husband is not a good idea, be prayerful, knowing that a man's heart is in God's hand, he directs it as he wills, this is my 17th years of marriage, if built under the solid rock, it can never crumble, it's not rosses I say again, but u can make the good out of it, remainber u two are from different background, same parents do have thier differences and do fight or quarrel, but be wise, and ask for wisdom, pray for ur marriage on daily bases and ask God to deliver you from marital failure. I say again be wise no man out there is a saint. every wise woman knows how to hold her home and her man, lets be real, this is not nollywood movies. Be wise!!!
@skye,u r just a big idiot
Α̲̅я̩̥̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ u guyz for real???? If ur partner kills u,u go Τ̲̅ȍ heaven..lol..u must be kidding me!
What happens Τ̲̅ȍ ur kids when u die,u leave dem i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ d hands of d man dat killed u..u people better use ur brain åπϑ don't read d bible upside down..Iranu!!!
Your life is very precious!!! RUN
Look @ Kefee today. Alive and getting better , stronger,touring the world with her music. Some men are wild animals in human bodies.
once marry please its a cross every body must Cary so for me i will say walk away but never divorce your husband for any thing yes.
Sa asala fun emi re!
To my point of understanding of marriage, such thing common in early marriage, it is you to determine how to make it works, my advise to this issue is to be prayerful and watch the way your response to your hubby in a respect manner, in all be submissive, i believes things will change and turn around for good, dont divorce oooo.
this is hard - asking linda ikeji readers is clearly not the way to go dearie - you need Godly counsel at this point - it is easier to walk away but only you know that - i've seen abusers reformed and i've seen situations get violent and read many fatal - but you're the one that's wearing the shoes - you know where it hurts the most - you can let it define, destroy or strengthen you -
Also you need to consider your child - they need to be in a healthy loving environment - nothing should push a man to hit you no matter what - but here's my 2cents
1) PRAY - and specifically pray for wisdom & discernment from God - there's a reason for why this is happening only u can find that out
2) Seek Godly counsel - an entertainment blog is not where you should be looking for answers - go for prof counselling that is christian/faith based.
3) Study your man well - sometimes women we study fashion and our kids that we forget to study our man - you said he's only slapped you on 3 occasions - go and think about why it happened -If God gave him to you he'll tell you how to handle him
4) Pray with him - the bible says the wiser woman builds her home and the foolish destroys it
5)This is a journey and you have to decide from now if you want to take it or not - again pray for wisdom - no matter what people tell you no marriage is smooth , it is long suffering but truly rewarding in the end -
invest in your marriage, pray with your husband and have faith in God - and lastly don't post ur issues on entertainment blogs - you'll get secular advice - you need to walk and talk with married folks -that is the realm you want to be in
stay blessed
My dear,recognise physical abuse for what it is and dnt try to rationalize in any way..God says he wishes above all tins dt u prosper n be in gud health so for those who wud want to rationalize it d religious way tellin u 2 stay put,God hates divorce etc,etc,my dear,God is a God of prinicples n he wishes dt u stay alive n be his reflection of glory here on earth n not return to him before d appointed time he has designed for u cos of a person.
U owe it to him(ur husband) on a humanistic level to get him to seek counsel but for d now,SEPERATE urself n ur child from him.Research has shown that a violent and abusive man CAN never change,so it is only God thru his holy spirit that can deliver such a person n make him what he is meant to be cos people,violence is a spirit n trust me it doesn't come from a loving father.
Pick up courage n live this man for now my dear sister,also,u too get counselling cos u mite not know it now or sense it but rily,pschologically,a part of u has bin dehumanised n will not want to face d world.Get this rite:u are not the cause for his weakness so NEVER u blame urself in anyway.Peace n may d lord help u to make d rite decision,u are a jewel of great value in d sight of God n he created u for a purpose n with so much love for u in mind.
WHY WOULD WOMEN KEEP DOING D SAME THING THAT GOT THEM D FIRST SLAP ANYWAYS. SEEMS MOST WOMEN INTENTIONALLY DO THINGS THAT MAKES MEN SLAP THEM. YOU KNOW HE WILL SLAP YOU B4 HE SLAPS YOU. I SLAPPED MY WIFE, SINCE THEN SHE KNOWS HER BOUNDARY. NOW SHE REGOGNIZE ME AS THE HEAD OF MY FAMILY SINCE THEN. SHE ALWAYS THINK IM A WEAK MAN. A SLAP CHANGES EVERYTHING! SINCE THEN SHE LOOKS UP TO ME HAS THE HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD.
All i'll say is....it all begins with a slap.
my ex boyfriend after abusing me emotionally and cheating on me was mad with me when i wanted to break up with him. so he pushed me to the wall and twisted my arm and told me that he curse the day he met me. Nna men i been wan reconsider the guy oo but after the push and the hand gripping i just found my level. Never would i let a guy maltreat me. I have never looked so happy and good since i got rid of him. This month would make it 1yr and 7months i broke up with him and i would be getting my degree in 2weeks time while he dropped out already and the girl sef finished high school and became pregnant for him. I thank God becuase sometimes he put problems in our way to make us stronger.
when her life is in danger.
When she no longer feels safe in the relationship: whether as a courting partner or as a married wife. Her life is more valuable than a miserable life with the wretched man (who has no value for her)
Stunninglady beta pay linda advert fee
So sleek is a man no wonder.now I see and I can understand the sort of man you are. I hope to GOD you are not married because you seem like an emotional abuser. You still have a lot of work to be done and you have no business being in a relationship right now. Now am not sayin that everything you are saying is ridiculous. But if my bible tells me that I can get divorced on the grounds of adultery then, why should i suffer in a domestic violence situation. I am not advocating divorce but it's an option when everything else fails. JESUS did not die for women to suffer we have a choice that is something we have been given as human brings freely, we create our own destiny and you live with what you tolerate. Sleek are you married and is ur wife guilty of these things you write about ? You sound like a very angry man. Divorce is not it yes but divorce is an option. GOD hates divorce yes but he is understanding and wants the best for us. A woman should talk less why? Becuse she is a woman wow! See suppression everyone has a voice and every woman should be able to talk as long as you are not aggressive and insultive I dont see why you cannot speak out.
How has your post become of help?
Dear sleek so you say if my man cheats on me and I find out which leads to me not trusting him again, and it makes me crazy when He is not with me I think he is with another. And I find out he still cheats. And I am falling into dePression gradually as a result and he gives me an std and I can't take care of my kids properly as a result i should stay in the marriage? Or if my husbands beat me and begs me that it is his temper or the devil I am wasting away and I can't fully take far of my children properly I should stay in the marriage? I am not myself and I am not happy I should endure in the name of a constitution called marriage? Do you think that's is GOD's plan for me?
@Ajalahtravel: u gave me a goooooooooooood laugh :) :) @Onome, u said it all bless u babe, the biggest mistake a woman makes is justifying the reasons why she got beat, no man dat truly loves you would EVER and I repeat EVER put his hand on u! Matter ended!
I hope ur partner kills u den u can continue the rest of this rubbish talk in heaven! Spoken like a true male chauvinist
@skye just like you. You tink say God get time for hypocrite like you. Elabhe!
@skye just like you. Olodo rabata!
@skye dey there dey daydream
@skye dey there dey daydream
I love this comment if i ever find myself in this position i will sooooo do this to my husband LMAO
My dear, I feel ur pain. I can just imagine the sort of trauma ur going through. Ur self esteem must be out the window by now cos he's not only abusing u psychologically, but physically as well. And I understand u not being able to conceive, contributes to ur pain bcos the woman in you would want a child desperately believing the birth of a new life will bring change in your marriage.
I can't tell u what to do, but I'll pray for you. May the God I serve use me as a point of contact to reach out to you wherever you are and heal the pain in your heart. I pray that the heavens will give u cause to rejoice. I speak abundant joy & peace in your life. The tears of the oppressed never go unnoticed by God!
Pack all your stuff out of the house and leave. If he hit u when u were pregnant,he can kill u. and get a gun.The next time he hits u.shoot him!!!
May God bless u Rockster, u r a REAL man!
@sleek what is this long story you are telling abeg go sleep mschew!!!!
the man would have acid poured on him when he is asleep if he tries that with me nonsense
Wife beaters are cowards, as for the talk about her saying the wrong thing lmao, would he have the guts to slap his boss or anyone at work no matter what they may have said? Why not? Because everyone dey look face! He knows the reward of doing such at work but when it's time to pick on a defenceless woman na there we'll find. If armed robber comes na his type go 1st start crying and begging! Bloody cowards
Please separate religion and religious beliefs from practical, logical reasoning. If you are religious and don't want to leave based on those terms, you need to ask yourself if it makes God happy for you to live in misery. If you can answer without a shadow of a doubt that Yes it makes God happy for you to live in misery then by all means continue to live in such a situation.
U need help please go and seek some, u are proud because you slapped your wife what a shame
My story is probably unique (u might not believe it) so I don't know if it would apply to you but I feel like I should share
I got married to someone I thought was the most amazing man ever (Ed)..we had dated for 3 years and I felt I knew every single side to him..I was wrong
6months into our marriage the demon in him started coming out..it started with basic commands "SIT DOWN" "STAND UP" "WEAR THIS" "GO THERE"..and progressed to gentle shoves and pushes..
A year into it had progressed to slaps..Ed was very charming and made me believe every bad thing he did to me was for my own good..I lost count of the amount of times he bought me flowers and jewellery to apologise
6 months after the first slap and I landed in the hospital..Y? I got home 20 mins late from work..I had to take a detour because of ongoing construction along my usual route and so I was late..unfortunately Ed got home earlier than usual and met my absence..the welcome I received was a resounding slap that made me see stars..and after that my mind is a blur till today..
I woke up to brainwashing, apologies and gifts..I believed it was my fault and I deserved it..I got a holiday to greece from that experience..
I had confided in my older sister about what was happening in my life and my guilt at always upsetting Ed..she couldn't believe I was defending him and told my parents who came to talk to both of us..I still defended Ed..
3 months after the trip, I discovered I was pregnant..we were both ecstatic..it was to be our first child and the love between us grew..we didn't have any accidents..well at least until I was 5 months gone when he pushed me down the stairs cos I was "slow"..we told everyone I fell..I lost the baby
After that "accident" it became clear to everyone but me that I was in an abusive relationship. I was always defending every bruise and ache - I deserved it.
My parents had another talk with us and even invited his as well..he promised to change..
He didn't. But I kept the subsequent abuse to myself. Did not mention a word to anybody.. I became adept with concealer and became the queen of deception..even my co-workers had no idea..
I got pregnant again and this time around he beat me up when I was 3 months gone..Y? I told my parents I was pregnant before he had the "honour" to do it..I landed in the hospital again..
As the doctor told me I had lost the baby yet again, I felt my life flash before me and I had an epiphany..I saw myself in 6 yrs in exactly the same condition and I KNEW I had to make a change..the usual apologies came along with the gifts..I acted like everything was okay while I planned my escape..
I emptied my bank accounts and opened fresh ones..I confided in my boss and applied for a private transfer..I was going to run away..I did..on my 4th wedding anniversary I left a note on the pillow and never came back..no one knew where I was but I let my family know I was alive
2 years after that I heard he got married..I was sad..I was in pain..I was lonely and I cried my heart out..I was jealous and angry..I was still in love with him and regretted leaving him..
A year into his new marriage and I heard he beat his new wife to death..I was glad I left him..I was glad that wasn't me..
10 years have passed since I married Ed and I thank God I had the strength to leave..I have since reconnected with my family, gotten a proper divorce, remarried and now have a beautiful set of twins..Verily God helps those who help themselves..I did and he blessed me..Abundantly..
FOLAKE..
Dear Sis, am sure u must have come across a lady who wrote from" HER GRAVE" Ogo to be precise. Pls don't wait till it's too late to do something. Talk with him, let someone who is close to him know about it if he didn't want to change.. I sure know there is a way out. Don't just rush out. Pray and check yourself if u know what I mean. Don't be an encourager of the violence .
Dear Sis, am sure u must have come across a lady who wrote from" HER GRAVE" Ogo to be precise. Pls don't wait till it's too late to do something. Talk with him, let someone who is close to him know about it if he didn't want to change.. I sure know there is a way out. Don't just rush out. Pray and check yourself if u know what I mean. Don't be an encourager of the violence .
i am speaking as a married woman with a husband that has anger problems, he had threatened to slap me once and I told him to try it!he has never laid hands on me and never will cause I made it clear from the get go that the day he ever tries it. I'll break his head, with anything I find, knead his balls like flour and gorge his eyes out. I don't play that domestic violent BS. You can't beat me cause you didn't pick me from the streets, you fight your fellow men not me, so my dear for a man to slap you while pregnant with his child, he can and will kill you. Your decisions are yours at the end of the day but remember you need to stay alive to take care of your kids. Do not say because of the social stigma of divorce you'll rather die and be forgoten.
@folake
I would really like to know you. your story has inspired me. Its hard reading people's comments about not getting a divorce because God hates it and it makes me feel guilty. But your story is an encouragement. You can't put a price on life. I ran away just like you. I will go back to Nigeria after summer to get a proper divorce. Thank you
I was once married for just 2 years. He kept on cursing me no matter what.He would never stay home, always going out drinking with his friends but will not give me money for food. I was doing small business, he will take d money from me because he wanted to control me.it was very depressing, he was always drinking with friends when i was pregnant, come back home and reign curses at me. I remember waking up every morning and looking back at the bed to see if my body was still laying there and my soul had woken up. I really believed I was going to die and was almost asking God why he was not taking my life when I was expecting it.
I walked out and now, i am so happy. It feels so good waking up in the morning without having someone to curse me.
My dear open ur eye and get yourself out of any situation u cannot handle cos this life is not a rehearsal. I don't think that environment is safe for your child also. Someday, if it is not him that will kill u, it is u that will kill him in self defense. And my dear, kirikiri no dey hear defense o
Linda pls get us the story on the market shooting in Yobe.
It's official,I officially have a web crush, Rockstar, you are awesome, I wish more naija men were like you
a lot of people are very shallow and selfish when commenting on this blog. my dear, dnt just walk away frm the marriage without finding way to make things right. tell the man that you dnt like what he is doing, bring in your extended family in to help you resolve the issue. let him come to an agreement with you. he has to either stop touching you or you may have to take a walk.
Both of you are MORONS!!!
It's a pity. Only if you can discern his violent trait while dating(even by Testing him) or you just marry am rush rush.
Well my candid advice is to divorce him. Um, don't give a second or third chance because it could be deadly. Unless may be you notice a predominant change in his violent and angered behaviour which can change over night and you can keep suffering. Some Naija Celebs have pass through it and they are peaceful at heart now. Truly, it takes time in exercising and swimming in pool of the holy spirits.
So, you're not that hook. Just one child and perhaps still young. Just make yourself marriageable and presentable to men.
MAKE GOD LEAD YOU TO THE RIGHT MAN.
No be small way bekee. Nama too.
No Skye...you are the refined fool.
Skye, you are so dumb it is annoying! Good advice, Rockstar.
Amen!!
@Abuja Kenneth: i must leave because i am not prophet Mohammad or Prophet Jesus whose heart are so clean as claimed being washed by Angels when young. The more she talks and i hear, the more it pour fuel into my heart. And if it gas out, i might do something wrong. So, i must find a way to leave the place/house without opening my mouth.
That's a stubborn and evil wife or girlfriend.
Your instincts are your creator's radar for knowing when to flee. Tune in to it and make sure your heart does not override. We women can be foolish. From slap it will elevate to blows then kicks, then stomping and then the use of weapons - like hot oil or acid. If you can no longer look him in the eye without wondering if he is going to explode. Nne, run for ya life.
ok.its sad but the truth is if he did it the first time and you didnt do anything about it then be sure he wont stop.when i was in my early twenties and newly married,i slapped my wife and punched her.she was 8months pregnant at the time.i begged and begged and she accepted.shortly after she had our child,i did it again.this time around,she picked up the 1st thing she was able to lay her hands on and lashed out at me in self defence.the item split my lip very badly and i had to get a stitch.i was unable to tell anyone why i ended up in stitches and she didnt too.this was 11years ago but i have not touched her since nor vice versa,.we have our quarrels but please,violence isnt the answer.i could have hurt her badly and she me.there is NO excuse so men should stop saying they were provoked.i can however state categorically that if she hadnt defended herself that day,i probably would have kept hitting her till something bad happened.now,women,defend yourself or walk away.men dont stop as long as they think they can get away with it.
WOMEN,OPEN YOUR EARS.IF HE BEATS YOU ONCE HE WILL DO IT AGAIN.AND YOUR SONS WILL THINK IT IS OK TO BEAT THEIR WIVES BECOS THEY WATCHED THIR FATHER BEAT YOU AND YOU DIDNT DO ANYTHING AND YOUR DAUGHTER WILL THINK IT IS OK TOO BECOS SHE WATCHED YOU GET BEATEN AND YOU DID NOTHING SO THE CIRCLE CONTINUES.
Linda, I don't know what to say. Being married should be effortless. My sincere sympathy to all who are affected. To all the mothers, please raise your sons well...to respect women, see women as partners, not inferiors, to share with their wives, that domestic work is everyone's business, to always communicate with their wives and that their wives rank first before anyone or anything in lives.
Everyday, I thank God for his mercies.
This sort of crap is rife in our society because in Nigeria marriage is a do or die affair. Even those coming here to write in support of divorcing a violent spouse are in very unhappy marriages. 99% of women would rather die than go back to being unmarried. FACT. Nigerian women, we are the major cause of our own problems. We are the ones in the way of our own hapiness. A woman is a woman first before she is a wife. But the tag of Mrs. is sooo important in our society. It garners far more respect than Miss or Ms. Even your fellow woman would scheme to step into your unhappy in marriage shoes. Its not just about violence.We have very low quality men in this country. Cheating is expected/accepted. Unrealistic ideals from inlaws. Nigerian men are backward, rude and very proud. I'm leaving my husband of 3 and half years because he is still jobless after 3 and a half years. He's lazy, disrespectful, unrealistic, cocky, uninspiring, unambitious and still has the nerve to want to be THE MAN. My arse.
A WOMAN NEEDS A MAN LIKE A FISH NEEDS A BICYCLE
There's so much advise, books etc about how a woman can keep a man, think like a man, make a man happy etc. The men nko? What are they required to do? Just be?
And we all know that the dynamics of yesteryears, where the man earned and the women reared have changed. A lot of women are bringing home the bacon and usually to an unappreciative man, so all this 'be submissive' BS is really just BS. What kind of man wants a woman to submit to him? Na wa o. How do you clothe, feed and house yourself, your man and the kids if you have any AND still play a submissive role. Nigerian men are spoilt. I recently heard about a woman in her mid 30s who married a guy with very low sperm count and no job. So she looks after him like a child while she's spending millions on trying to have a child with him. Thats not love. Thats desperation. Let's hope she's not over the hill by the time his treatments begin to work. Nigerian man he will leave her.
Wooooooooow he beat his wife to death kai that man is olori awon demons. Soooooo happy for you and HML, i love twins God bless u sis x
Why would d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ want to b U̶̲̥̅̊ ? #jussayin#
R d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ talkin bout money here?onye ibo get sense una own no pass moni moni shior!#gbenga
Why would d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ want to b U̶̲̥̅̊ ? #jussayin#
I WOULD NEVER SUPPORT A DIVORCE BECAUSE I AM SURE YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS IN THE SIGHT OF GOD IF YOU ARE MARRIED IN THE CHURCH, ...DEDICATE THE NEXT ONE YEAR IN COUNSELING YOUR HUSBAND AND YOURSELF GET SOMEONE HE RESPECTS AND YOU ARE CERTAIN DOES NOT HAVE THE SAME CHARACTER TALK THIS THROUGH WITHIN THE NEXT ONE YEAR IF YOU STILL EXPERIENCE ANY FORM OF VIOLENCE(SLAPPING IS VIOLENCE SISTER), I WILL SUGGEST A SEPARATION IF NOT FOR ANYONE FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILDREN IF YOU WANT TO PROTECT THEIR FUTURE YOU WILL NOT LET THEM GROW UP IN THAT KIND OF ENVIRONMENT..I'M SAYING THIS BECAUSE I GREW UP IN THAT KIND OF ENVIRONMENT AND STILL LIVE IN ONE WITH MY PARENTS I'M 23 THE FIRST CHILD DESPITE THE FACT THAT MY MUM IS SERIOUSLY ILL ITS STILL THE SAME AND ITS AFFECTED ME AND MY SIBLINGS GREATLY AND I WOULD NOT WISH THAT FOR ANY CHILD...EVEN THOUGH OUR PARENTS WERE NAIVE THEN, WE DO NOT HAVE AN EXCUSE TODAY....
AND FOR THOSE SAYING MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP RUNNING YOUR MOUTH, STOP DOING THIS AND THAT, THE FACT IS HE IS YOUR PARTNER IN LIFE, IF YOU CANT BE YOURSELF WITH HIM WHO ELSE WILL YOU BE YOURSELF WITH IF HE TRULY LOVES YOU HE WILL HELP YOU WORK ON YOUR BAD BEHAVIOR AND LET YOU KNOW HOW IT AFFECTS HIM AND IF HE HAS A BAD SIDE TOO YOU TALK TO HIM CALMLY ABOUT IT....ALOT IS SOLVED THROUGH SINCERE AND HEARTFELT DIALOGUE...SATISFY YOUR CONSCIENCE THAT YOU HAVE DONE THE BEST YOU CAN BEFORE LEAVING
A voilent man will always be voilent!!! why are you waiting for him to start using other objects on you before you advice yourself!! Please its better you run for your life now that u have the chance or better still tell him never to slap u again and should he fail then please, ma dear leave him he is not worth keeping
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