Hi Linda. I usually dont do this but i like the way your bloggers give advice, so i need help. I come from an ok family from the south east, but am dating a son of wealthy south-western man. I am an educated woman in my own rights i have two bachelors and a masters and currently working on my mba. I work for fortune 500 company abroad, but I get to see my man when ever i can. We have been together for three years now. I know he is madly inlove with me, and i thought i was inlove with him too, but after i spent christmas with him and his family, I found myself falling for the brother. I was attracted to his brother's sexy brown chocolate features, smile, eyes, character, my sister, the guy is truly a well groomed prince. His younger brother on the other hand is cute and fair, very funny, very outspoken( his take attitude and intelligence are what attracted me to him at first). Am in my early twenties, very cultured, and i know its a taboo, at least in my culture to date two brothers. The guy I have been dating happens to be the junior brother who is closer to my age, but whenever am around his older brother, my knees get weak, and i get butterflies in my stomach. I still hold my Vcard, and for some strange reason my friends told me maybe that's why the older brother has interest in me, since i guess his brother spilled he hasnt touched me during a truth or dare game we played during the holiday. I hear so many rumors about how my boyfriend carries girls around when am not around, but i dont do rumors, I trust him, so i feel its wrong that I am having such feelings for his brother. I mean I want his brother to the extent that i would even let the guy pop my cherry. His older brother and i share same birthday month and the guy got me a gift of poems, very thoughtful, and since then we have been texting, video chatting, its like we have become best friends, I feel i can tell him anything, and worst of all I have continued to fall even deeper inlove with him. He sent me a text yesterday saying "If I only had met you before my brother did, then i would be the happiest man right now." I didnt know what to say. I just loled it. Like i said I believe in traditions, I want to tell him how i feel, but I come from ngwaland and its a taboo, to promise a man that you will marry him, then turn around and dump him for his brother. I dont want to destroy their relationship, I feel overwhelmed. I feel like i should just leave the family alone and just go my own way, because i dont want to be the force that divides them. I have spoken to one of their sisters whom I am closed to, but she told me to stay with the brother who gets the biggest part of their father's empire. Its like she thought i was dating her brother for their money. I beg , money isnt everything. I dont want his family's money, am a content hard working independent woman, who makes her own money, so i aint gold digging.I dont know what to do, I have been dodging my man's calls, texts, for three days now, but when ever his brother texts me I jump for the phone. So advices please. I feel like am emotionally cheating on the guy am currently dating with his older brother. What should i do, because I dont think I can control myself around his older brother when i go home this summer. Help!!!! Thank you Linda!!
237 comments:
1 – 200 of 237 Newer› Newest»Linda, these hypothetical stories are really getting boring, pls do not patronise your readers!!!
Hmmm this is a serious matter. No.1 d communication between u and his elder brother has to stop. 2, if u don't love this guy, pls leave him alone before u destroy a happy family. U can build the love u onces have for your man, if u can stop communicating with his elder brother, if u can't, I will advice, u stay away from both brothers before u become a bitch.
Errrm, my lady, can I say first that the difference between us as humans n animals is that we r able to control our emotions. Its wrong by every standards for you to first "be in love" with a bloke , n next u r loving his bro ! I find that rather evil. My take is this ; pls let the family be ! Do not cause a rift btw brothers ! I beg of you.
Gosh ! One Wld wonder wat some women do !
this is really had o...but i feel u very well...think you should let u present boyfriend know about your feelings cos sharing things like this with him would do you both a lot of good. and for now just stop texting and calling the older brother till evry emotions is put in place properly. they say love knows no bound so u nevr can say. just be careful and use ur head not your heart babe.
Life my sister we fall i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ luv wit d wrong person don't make d mistake of marryin d younger or lead him on if u don't luv him anymore,if u still feel its A̶̲̥̅ taboo τ̅☺ g☺°4 d older bro den just quit d family.ii married d person ii don't really luv cos my mum n pastor n everyone says he's gd he's actually gd caring n luvs ♍ƺ so much bt ii don't luv him am n A̶̲̥̅ loveless marriage wit A̶̲̥̅ child n almost five yrs my sister don't marry d guy if u don't feel d luv anymore just my own advise
First, i think ur man's bro myt jst b interested in popping ur cherry, 2ndly, it myt jst b a bet with u as d price, 3rdly, it myt b real. For me, what i would do is tell my man cos thats d way my man n i operate. I could tell him anything even tell him who i am having a crush on and he is sooo mature abt it. After i've talked to him abt it, those feelings bgin to fade off gradually.
Tell ur man how u feel n what has been going on n also how his brother responds to u n all. It just myt help.
Stick to ur boyfriend and forget the elder broda...period.
listen to ur heart swty, talk things out with ur bf.if he has a good heart he will listen n understand.
muwwah!
Babe!! What if it's a test between the two brothers to find out how loyal you are? Also, it could very well be that the older brother likes you because you're still a virgin. Honey, I see lust written all over this letter..on both sides. Try and avoid the older brother. With time these feelings will come to pass. Besides, what kind of brother is he if he's willing to take what belongs to his own blood brother. You should know that anything obtained through lustful eyes doesn't end well. Sweetheart, husband no dey again o. If you know what is good for you, you'll face the man God has blessed you with. With time these feelings shall come to pass. Goodluck.
~ Menakaya's Baby.
i can bet with you that the relationship with the older brother wouldn't last any longer. if she sees a finer person, she will also find another reason to go out with that person and leave the previous. let her learn contentment as a woman. if she doesn't want the younger brother, she better pull out of their family in as much she said she's not after their wealth, otherwise her little decision that she counts as nothing may turn around to claim any of the brothers' life. you may ask me how? WELL WHEN THE YOUNGER ONE KNOWS THE INTENTION OF HIS BIG BROTHER, THEY MAY BE ENEMIES FOREVER OR EVEN HARM THEMSELVES ALL BECAUSE OF A WOMAN. *so.....miss........ be sure of what you want in life.
Go to HELL. You are one of those cheap gold diggers. SIMPLE.
nuges said
The good thing about the writer is that you know right from wrong but scared of doing right. To the extent you know you are cheating emotionally.
My simple advice is "DO RIGHT". Right might be leaving the family alone which is the best advice i would give you now; for if you don't and you get married to anyone, any small issue faced in marriage the feeling and then it would be a greater taboo.
Bitch please!!! Go straight to hell. We aint buying non of that bullshit.
If u like his brother , go for me jor! That's if ur saying d truth bout ur virginity( abi u dey give us zobo) pls do wat makes u happy! But, I think lust is wats worrying u! The devil u know is beta than d angel u don't know.
Hmmmm aunty dis ur story get as e be,put urself in ur man's shoes and tel me if u can take it. Btw u dnt hv any right wot so eva to even tink of hvn any feelin 4his brother to d extent dat if he wants to pop ur cherry u wud let him thot u sed u were cultured? Well u aint u shudnt let any communication btw u n him wotsoeva until d feelins disappears. Well in ur case u dnt love ur bf anymor u luv his brother,very well den leave both of dem and dnt scatter their family b4 dey kill u.
My advice is for you to leave them both and move on with your life.
This is a serious sumfin o. oh well, best advice is to leave both brothers.
listen to ur heart swty , talk things over with him(ur bf). if he has a good heart, he will listen and understand. u will never forgive urself if u don't give it a try.
all da best swty
muuwaah!
follow ur heart babe. you know how you feel.
U are a big fool. You think the brother will want you for a wife? My dear he is just playing you he probably has seen through you. Wake up girl
Hmmmm! This is tough.
d grass looks greener on d other side but might nt be
*sighs* real dilenma. I have a question for you though! Have you felt anything close to this before meeting your BF's brother? Or shared any level of closeness with any other guy? There r moments in a relationship when we get dissuaded,and see only our innate desires. The trick is to stay focused on the things that endear us to that initial person (in this case, your BF). As they say, 'this too shall pass'.
I had always known Linda was not making these stories up; considering that d pple involved are mostly nigerians in diaspora...smh...oyibo dey mess with their head.....anyways, my dear story teller, since none of them have popped d cherry, you r safe.....be sure you are not lusting after his elder bro and looking for lil faults with him. If you are sure you really love d elder one, save yourself d heartache of a depressing relationship and carefully inform your bf on the happenings......do it prayer fully cos kasala fit burst o.
Swtrht,my own sincere advice 2 u is that u shld let d thought of gettn hooked wit either of d two guys go.I mean ur heart's unstable & 4 u nt 2 keep killing urself emotionally,u jst hv 2 get urself sumwhere neutral where u can hv a vry gud and hitch-free relationship.Goodluck to u.
Both of you (the brother to ur boifrnd and you) are just a greedy type. Learn to love your guy and put his brother behind you. I will neva support such move for anything. Its a bad things and uncalled for...How do you want ur boifrnd to feel? U want to cause family commotion or u want two brothers to become an enemy for life. Abeg Madam if you know u dnt love him any longer then do away with two of them....U can not leave a guy bcos of his brother and go ahead to be dating dat same blood.
its up to you,
Which is more important? TRADITION OR YOUR HEART?
The one u choose is the one you should follow!
OH wow.
Babe, its obvious you dont really love the younger brother, because if you did, these feelings for the other one wouldnt transpire.
As an Igbo girl myself, my best advice for you is to leave this family. I know its way easier said than done, but even if King Solomon was alive now, he would say the sane thing
In the open heavens(if you read it, PASTOR E A ADEBOYES' daily devotional) of Sunday or Monday, it talked about EARLY WARNING SIGNS.
GOD HAS ALREADY GIVEN YOU THE WISDOM TO SEEK COUNSEL, FOR IN THE MULTITUDE OF IT WISDOM PREVAILS.
BUT ONE THING YOU SHOULD ALWAYS KNOW, IS THAT BLOOD IS MUCH MORE THICKER THAN WATER. IF YOU DO HAPPEN TOSLEEP WITH THE OLDER BROTHER, HE WOULD NEVER MARRY YOU, AND HE WOULD DEFINITELY TELL ALL THOSE WHO WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE 'NONSENSE GIRLFRIEND HIS BROTHER BROUGHT HOME'
GUYS WOULD DO, SAY AND TELL YOU ANYTHING, MAKE YOU FEEL SOOO COMFORTABLE AND RELAXED JUST TO GET YOU IN THAT VULNERABLE POSITION, HE IS OLDER SO HE KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE IS DOING. HE HAS NO REGARDS FOR HIS OWN BROTHER(HOW HE IS BEHAVING, SO PLEASE WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU THINK HE WOULD TREAT YOU LIKE A QUEEN)
LASTLY, ITS OBVIOUS YOU DONT LOVE THE YOUNGER ONE, LOVE NEVER FAILS, AND THAT CANT BE SEEN IN YOUR CASE, PLEASE DONT STICK AROUND BECAUSE OF PROMISES OR BECAUSE OF SENTIMENTS HELD...SERIOUSLY...YOU WOULD ONLY END UP PUTTING YOURSELF IN A REALLY MESSY SITUATION.
A KWUCHALA M!!
My dear,,i ll suggest u tak a walk cos if u by any means do such,,is gonna cause a very huge rift btween 2 brothers n am sure u wldnt want dat.remember d saying dat says money n woman r d greatest enemy of all.
Just find your way. There's no point being with either. One you don't love, the other you are infatuated with. Just rid yourself of both
Wow!just wow!let me read it again.this is hardcore.ps pls dnt start postin hate comments.she's confused and very young!
Princessifo.
hmmmm..... my dear its either u 4get the older brother or leave their family for good cos thats a big problem in nigeria. it wldnt be a big deal if it were abroad.
hmmmmmm, pity you, that's all i can say....
Girl, why don't u just wake-up from ur foolish dreams cos u and the older brother can never be even if u dump ur boyfriend. This guy's brother is clearly older and wiser and probably just wants to sleep with u, he's just toying with ur feelings and intelligence bcos he knows what u feel for him. What u feel for him isn't Love but mere Lust or Infatuation as the case may be. Please don't throw away ur precious 3yr relationship for mere uncertainty. Pls, I beg you, don't make the mistake of allowing him sleep with u. It will be the most foolish thing on earth if u do! I trust u'll listen to advise and with ur education achievements, I want to have lil Faith in you that u aren't stupid. A word, they say is enough for the wise, but I'm sure u've got more than a word from this advise....Plsssss "BE WISE!"
2things: It's either she's a slut, or she's a green horn in relationships. Cos any right thinking being knows what to do: Its a taboo (like she even acknowledged) to play with 2(wealthy) brothers. If she doesn't love the older guy, she should prove she aint gold digging by backing the fuck up out of the relationship. She's independent, young & hard working, there'd be like a million other guys out there that could match not just this younger guy's profile but her taste. I guess she's just being an Oliver :-)
The sister must be a harlot! In any case! There two ways you can play this;have sex with the older brother,enjoy it to the very last drop! Then leave him and his younger brother and look for someone else entirely to marry! On the hand you can steer your heart and your vagina away from the older one and stay faithful to the younger one! You do not have to give in to the lust of your flesh! You are a woman and you must learn self control! You are very wrong to even key into the older brother by texting and gisting with him! Finally you might want to consider d fact that those feelings may never go away,what if u marry d younger one,will you be tempted to cheat?
Stolen waters seem sweet. You are not in love with the Older brother but only infatuated. Speaking as an ex-player, My sincerest advise to you is to concentrate on your man. The older brother is only playing with your emotions. Why would he covet his brothers girlfriend. remember the 10 commandments...If he lacks the discipline to respect his brothers relationship, he will disrespect you. A word is enuf for the wise.
HmmMmmmmm! I no know wetin to tell u o! Dis geh!
You need to walk away from both of them. You obviously don't love the younger brother enough to have fallen for the elder one. Its hard no doubt, but u just have to walk away. Coz if u don't and u marry the younger one, u would have extra marital affairs with the elder one, either physically or emotionally and that will be worse. Fallen in love with your boyfriends friend is terrible enough talk more of his brother. It does not make u a slut or anything, sometimes we just can't help these feelings. So, take a long walk my dear
oh wow...the matters of the heart, quite complicated. You have to make a decision now before a decision is made for you. Your cultures' traditions seem to very important to you, from your write up you seem to want to keep your values and that why I would say you forget about the older brother. Don't do something you may regret or that would hurt people that you care about. Hard decision because your head is saying one thing and heart is doing another. Good luck girl :)
My sister dis 1 is not d matter of follow ur hrt at dis tym bt its d matter of doin d right thing,,dis luv with dis mans brother i stand 2 tell u dats not real luv 4get it bcos u will live 2 regert it if u eva tries 2 date him behind ur fiancees back or even at all,,,plss help ur future so dat nature will not visit u badly
She should. Stay with who ever makes her hapi.linda pls wats ur email add.
My dear,,i ll rather u tak a walk as not 2 create a rift btween two brodas n am sure u wldnt want dat.remember d saying dat says,,,money n women r d greatest enemy of all n feelings can sumtyms be deceptive.
You are playing with fire wo. Think about the division it will cause both brothers. Think of future family functions and how awkward it wud be. I think we are dealing with 3 young people here. Ur hormones are bouncing of the wall. You have seen too many twilight movies. It's better to leave both men alone. And shine ur eyes. These family may be testing u after all. Especially because of what the sister said. Run run run
Are you sure you are as educated as you claim? Sorry, I couldn't help but notice your claim of two Bachelors, Master's and now an MBA yet your story was laced with several bombs! Even the opening line. NA WA! Anyway, you can't leave one brother for the other, it may even be a test. Plus, his family will never allow the other one to marry you. He himself will not marry you after "taking" you from his younger brother. It's not done. Why did you even tell their sister? Do you think she hasn't blabbed to the whole family? This is very weird! Your whole story is super weird! Goodluck anyway
leave both of dem alone and go find someone somewhere else....there's no better advice and u should know this.
U r stupid *case closed*
Babe trust me when i say this is just a phase.......stay with the younger brother, who has been with you, because once you start dating the older one and allow him pop your cherry, both the older and younger would lose respect for you...take time out from the both of them and analyze your true feelings....it might even be lust for the older one.....be very caeful that is all....and also if your sure the younger one treats you well ...pls stick with him at least youve seen his true colours...
Sowee dear, it happens.... Well I tink u shd call all d fam members 2geda n speak up, den c wat happens next ( rollin eyes)
i tell you ehh linda why are some women so greedy ehh ole oloju kokoro. exactly the same thing happened in my family where a girl like you almost caused enimity between my 2 brothers and i as their sister had to step in to chase the girl away and let both of them start afresh.
please i beg you leave that family as you are going to cause hatred between these 2 brothers and mind you a word is enough for the wise okay my 2 cent!!!!
it just showed you are not in love with neither of them so girl pack your baggages and leave the family alone. you are still young and your emotions are currently runing high that's whay you currently do not know what you want before the abomination happens run girl run as there is fire on the mountain....
This is very difficult, ur boyfriend kept you on ice because he loves you. The problem is how ur boyfriend will accept you as his brothers wife. Please take a walk.
She should be careful the 2 brothers might be messing with her to see if she is a flirt or sumtin,
i think its better to stick to the you are dating jeje. Tama
She should be careful the 2 brothers might be messing with her to see if she is a flirt or sumtin,
i think its better to stick to the you are dating jeje. Tama
Life is al about choices. If u date ur bf bro u wil cause a lastn enemity btw d duo. Ask God to direct ur path
My dear LIBer,only love is not enough to sustain a marriage stick to who u have known for 3 years cos as the adage gose the devil you know is better than he angel you do not know. PS: Sister inlaws are the wrong people to confide in. they are the same bunch of bad haters everywhere
gbese re chei this is terrible abeg my sister do not cause trouble for this family ohhh as the brothers dem go just use you and dumb you. stop receiving anything from the elder brother and also limit your contact with him whether he is chocolate or not okay and learn to controll your self when you are around his elder bro.
i beg you do not destroy the peace that the family currently enjoy with your roving eyes that don't seem to stay in one place
My sister this is ONE is a hard nut to crack during working hours..lol... I'll come back to you after lunch if the post is still open...But "trust mi" i certainly have a word or two for you....#FromAMansPointOfView
Young lady! Please follow your heart! You are not tied for life to your boyfriend oh...if he wanted that u wuda gotten a ring since! 3 years can u imagine?!
Shit happens jare....follow the brother go....but am worried if u follow the elder brother, the family won't let you marry him and u will end up stuck with none :(
Give urself time to test your love for the 2 brothers before you make a decision.
Goodluck!
(d real one not jonathan abeg!) lol
Hah' diz one critical Oo...chai.I'm not dat good @ proffering advice on relationships.If u were married 2 diz guy,sure will advice u.But now u're in a relationship with ya man and any advice wey i drop here fit scatter una marriage plans.I will not be a party to.......cos i geh conscience.So over to ma fellow LIB readers.
You have a big problem...so if you suceed in being the older guy's woman,when you meet his friend or cousin who's cuter, you go weak...i suggest you work on urself and learn how to be contented with what you have and stop daydreaming. Truth is you should stop giving the elder brother the green light cos you will end up being the loser...he'll take what you cherish, dump u for leaving his younger bro 4 him and then also make sure his younger bro dosent take u back cos u ditched him 4 u.
Linda give a mortein to kill the brainless butterflies in her tummy... What rubbish... This is a matter of the heart do what u knw is right for u..shikena...
Kingsley drops mic
IMO, you are cheating on your boyfriend. Emotional cheating is cheating nonetheless (like i guess you know already).
However, it wouldnt make any sense to go on with the younger guy (ur bf) even when your mind is somewhere else. That will be stringing the guy along and it isnt fair!
I would suggest you sit down, ignore calls from the 2 of them for a while, while you REALLY EVALUATE what is going on in ur heart. Ask and answer these questions truthfully - What attracted you to your bf in the 1st place? what do u see in his brother that has gotten you head over heels for him? Do you think dumping your guy and going for his brother will make you happy for long (knowing you will be tearing a family apart)
Pls dearie, it is better to walk away from this family with your head held high and your wits about you than dabbling in something as messy as leaving a younger brother for his older brother. Walk away girl, there will be another man for you. You sound real cultured and intelligent and you deserve a man who will love u so much just like you love him so much.
PS- Why is this elder brother so wicked as to want to pry away his younger brother's girlfriend??? Think about that
Dear Linda, whether you made this or not, whether the writers made them up or not. We always love stories!!
But some words here is spinning in my head, like what is "Vcard" is it possible to have "butterflies" inside our belly?
What else will love not do?:-)
for advice? Check the Next answers. Me i don't have it now, after reading this, i feel there is "butterflies" in my head. Lol.
University Of Nigeria
U know life can be so funny? If only u had met the older brother first, but u didn't so since it is a taboo where u come from as it is everywhere(becos i know u both must have kissed severally and done all the touching though u haven't done the ---. I advice u just walk away from them. Trust me u will overcome it i know u will.
this is kinda dicey. thing is, either she goes after the one she truly loves or leave the family alone in order not to cause any kind of trouble. shekena!
My dear, be very certain you are not in lust not love. If you are sure then go with your heart.
Ask yourself if you will still feel the same way about the older brother after you give your body what it wants.
U know life can be so funny? If only u had met the older brother first, but u didn't so since it is a taboo where u come from as it is everywhere(becos i know u both must have kissed severally and done all the touching though u haven't done the ---. I advice u just walk away from them. Trust me u will overcome it i know u will.
Follow your heart beat....
Wow.. Dats sad... I pity her.. She shud just leave both brothers alone. Cuz even if he marries d one she first met. Its bound dat she wud cheat on him wit d other one she says she loves. And also she doesn't want to leave d one she's been dating for d other. Soo the best thing is to stay clear frm the brothers.
Gboza says:
Dear LIB advice seeker, I quite agree with u that this situation is really disturbing. However, my candid advice to u is that you should use all your willpower to resist this temptation. At least u are aware that this older guy started getting close to u after he learnt that u still have ur vcard. I bet he is only fascinated by ur innocence and he is lusting after u. Presently, the older brother glitters like a piece of daimond, but I bet he is just the counterfeit of his brother.
Think babe, how many men will date a virgin for this long and respect her wish not to lose it? This younger brother is the real diamond and he sees u as one too.
Hmm... my dear FIRE would BURN you if you EVER try it.... Two brothers? hmm.... the whole family would fight and hate you for life.... Trust me,it is mere infatuation.... i have bin down this road so i know its unhealthy.... i was close to someone in the university, i hooked up wif his elder brother years after school,the family refused us togeda becus the younger one wont lemme be wif his elder brother.... in short,I GOT BURNT.... lemme advice u...When u starting having feelings for someone close to ur man just RUN(do beta than Ben Johnson),u cant handle dis i beg u to let go of the relationship before u get married to him and start misbehaving with ur brother inlaw... Stay Blessed
well...donno wat 2 say bt i thnk i understand u,its nt ur fault..but all d same stick 2 ur man,if somthn happens 2 d elder broda wnt u stick 2 ur man? afteral,u ve nt caught him cheatin even though u ve bin hearin it n its nw nw, dt u r takin actions cos of ur feelins...try n cut stuffs dt brngs u closer 2 d elder bro lyk d msgs n al...reduce it cos u cnt cut it.
Now that is some deep shit, will surely tear those guys apart o!! beta cure that love o or leave that family. i know how painful it is but u gotta let go sorta.Cos if u marry ur bf, its very possible that u will end up sleeping with the broda u are in love with.
i also dont think i like the elder broda, its very bad to make moves on ur broda's gal. U need to open your eyes b4 its too late, wish u the best.
I had the same issue but I decided to leave them both cos if u decide to go ahead with this, u are gonna divide the family, trust me they'll hate ur guts when it all ends. Just walk away with ur dignity or stick with ur own original boyfriend (younger bro).
deep!!! You need to follow your heart my dear...a broken relationship is better tan a broken marriage or better still set your heart in anoder direction and seek the face of the Lord.
You said:
You are less than 24 years old but with 2 bachelors, master and working on MBA. When did you start school?
You are still a virgin. Okay.
Your boyfriend is madly in love with you but he screws around with different girls. Do you know that is not love?
Anyway, the older bro just wants to screw you and dump you. He knows that you are a virgin but with cheating attitude. You are screwing over his junior brother by carrying out an emotional affair so he will screw you and be done.
One thing's clear here - you are infatuated. Best thing for you to do is to stop everything you have with that family, including your boyfriend and his brother.
here's my take, since you haven't "done" anything with his brother and you are even ready to leave the family at this point; go ahead and break up with your bf.
stay in touch with his brother u think u love, then start a relationship after about a yr easy!
Tales by Moonlight.
Here's why. I'm a woman in my mid-twenties and I just managed to complete my bachelor's and master. This chick claims to be in her early twenties and is working on her fourth degree. ahn ahn. Na wetin. Unless she's a genius surpassing Einstein.
This moron claims to be working for a fortune 500 abroad and her English is very "local". Sorry. I have all my degrees abroad and you cannot find me writing like that, grammar, misspellings and naijaisms rife.
madam, fuck who ever you like, don't come and write your epistles, wasting my time at work. Obviously you no get work. Ode.
From my own point..the older brother doesn't love you, he is just acting all nice so as to sleep with you...just talk yourself out of any feelings you think you have for him.
okay, let me tell it to you straight. they are brothers.Even if you like the younger brother,you cannot go after him because your selfish feelings will ruin the bond they have in their family. Dont let your emotions get the best of you.Stick to the elder brother who loves you. It seems you are questioning his faithfulness to validate your change of heart,which is just guilty conscience if you ask me. In my opinion, you are just physically attracted to the younger brother and that my dear is not love AT ALLLLLL! heeen open your ears and hear.Stick to what you have and appreciate it,good men who actually care for you are hard to come by.
"....but i like the way your bloggers give advice, so i need help"
Seriously??? Has she actually read the comments here or she's just a masochist that enjoys verbal pain? LOL!
Wonder y u need an advice wen u knw dat its a taboo in ur land and u knw u r cheating on him emotionally. If u ave d spirit of God in u, then u'll use ur senses. Domt distroy someones home bcos of ur lost
OMG ur stupidity is almost cute. U actually think the older brother would marry u after u dump his youger brother and he takes ur V-card? Awwww how foolish. U need to come to me so I can give u a pat on the head... With a hammer.
This is tough and i know sum! who was in the same predicament. My advise darling is that you should let that family be and move on. Because if u end up with your present bf u will still be avn strong feelings for his older brother which will b quite dangerous because what if sumthn happens one day and he visits u n ur bf and ur bf is not home..Just both of you in the house..my dear u can imagine wot might haooen..we are humans and our feeling tend to overtake us at tyms. On the other hand if u leave ur bf for his older broda u will be causing major conflicts btw two brodas and u sure wont want to be in that kinda situation...But if u can try n get ur mind off the older broda but if not my dear pls move on so as not to cause greater havoc in the future
hmmm,this is a complicated story,my advise is u stay off the family,both brothers,take some time to clear ur head,u may not b in love with d elder bro,re evaluate ur feelings,wat do u really knw abt d elder bro and pls dnt move to d elder bro unless ur bf is ok with it,if not u wld definitely cause enemity btw them and d rest of d family wld b forced to take sides
Maybe u shd let both of them go for a while. But I thnk u shud let urman knw ur dilemma . He may be mad at the initial stage oooh buh with tym he will learn to accept it. May even give the both of u his blessings. P.S: dnt be poppn any cherry anytym soon...k?
hmmm dnt kno wat to advice u ohh....
Liar.
You can't be in your early twenties and have TWO bachelors degree plus ONE masters.
Please biko, what do you want us to tell u? you have already said its a taboo and you don't want to commit a sacrilege. So why are you disturbing us??? please please please if you don't have work, go and sleep.
Hey!Dis is a very complicated situation,And I like dat u have the Good mind to ask for Advice,Some gals wld jump at love wheneva and wereeva,My take is,you loose out both ways,if you stay with the brother you're currently dating,ull always wonder plus ull never be truely satisfied,and if u date his senior brother,it'll just be like sitting on a barrel of Gun powder,ure gonna get hurt real bad somehow!Walk Away!Dats My advice!
Hey!Dis is a very complicated situation,And I like dat u have the Good mind to ask for Advice,Some gals wld jump at love wheneva and wereeva,My take is,you loose out both ways,if you stay with the brother you're currently dating,ull always wonder plus ull never be truely satisfied,and if u date his senior brother,it'll just be like sitting on a barrel of Gun powder,ure gonna get hurt real bad somehow!Walk Away!Dats My advice!
Waoh.i know xactly hw u feel.but I trut Linda readers to bash d living day light out of u.pele love
nwafor ngwa....agu cha bem akuko ahu but n'eziokwu,nne emekwala mistake ahu? don't make dat mistake bc
1) remember you are not from their tribe and any mistake you will be disgraced and kicked out so just respect yourself and respect dem for respecting your presence all this while.
2) as your fellow ngwa sister,am glad you know it is taboo so better think of the after effect.
3)both you and the elder bro mit just be lusting after each other bc wen you let him pop ya cherry then the scales will fall of your eyes and you will realize he a Casanova who is just interested in that ripe cherry bc he def move on
4)it might be a test or bet BTW the elder bro and someone else dat he can get you to strip with his lovely charms
5)i am pretty sure your family is together in unity and you love that so please don't do what will disunite another family else dem fit make you run mad.
6)like i pointed earlier, you r just being controlled by LUST, yes , DEMON OF LUST so better give yourself reasons why you wont fall into that trap and you had better wake up bc you have been with this guy for 3yrs i think you said and its is just for the first tym you met the bro you now realize ur guy has flaws......hmmmm ejim chineke da riagi(lemme speak our lang)nwafo, biko ekwela k'ihere me gi n'ezin'ulo gi maka nwoke.
7)the guy is young,vibrant,interesting,funny to be with...yes, but has it crossed your mind that he might have used this same charm on other ladies?have you asked how his r/ship is with other ladies?
in conclusion, please look for a better reason to leave your guy that is if there is but if not, you had better caution yourself n hold ya cherry and stay with your man am glad you don't listen to rumors and gossip .......nwafo nwanne m, biko ejim chineke d'aria gi....no shame ngwa pips.
This is a very tough one, because tradition and love is involved. well the writer seems very sincere about her feelings for the older brother,but she should be sure it aint just physical attraction(lust) because that one fades away fast. well i am a lady and to be honest, if two guys are inlove with me, i would go for the one that loves me more because thats how its ment to be. You will eventually learn to leave witout him and in this case the older brother is the fresh love will the younger brother is the old love and she claims the younger brother loves her more than she loves him. But she loved him very much until she meet a new exciting one. well the situation is complicated the best advice, listen to your heart, make sure(its not Nigerian club music that is playing there) and then follow it. During this process she should seek the lord in prayer.
Enuf of these stories ! n 4 the chick ,i bu onye ara !! AM SURE YOUR PLAN IS TO GO AND DESTROY THAT FAMILY.u must have been sent from the waters.beta leave that family alone.i no you n i no wat you are capable of doing,leave the 2 brodas alone cos if you loved one in the first place,der is no way u will start loving the one now.
the best thing she can do is to forget both of them and move on in other to avoid further problem in the future
Hmmm, it sounds strange. Hw cn1 fall inlove wit his man's broda?
At early twenties, 2 bachelors degree, a masters and on ur mba now? u must be a genius. My advise, don't distroy that family!
Dont diestroy that family. The story appear un-real
Wow! This is what we call "COMPLICATED", truthfully I will say do whateva ur heart tells you but its risky and shameful by tradition so d best is still that u let go the whole family. God will surely send ur own man .
The earlier the better since you have shown you are not responsible enough and definately wont control ur feelings in the nearest future,then go for the other brother but NOT SECRETLY. Get both together and talk it all out.it happens but luck is on ur side since u ve not had sex dat wld have bin a major taboo. But have in mind all that glitters is not gold!!!
Wow my dear, it looks like you have a lot going on emotionally but my advise to you is that you should break off your relationship wt your current boyfriend since the feelings you have for him isn't strong enough to put off feelings for someone else, much more his older brother.
Something isn't just right about the whole thing.
Before you start any other relationship, take a deep look into yourself & know for you, if its Love or Lust. Can it stand the test of time & the challenges of a distant relationship.
Weigh the consequencies, good & bad before you think of going for his brother.But be aware also that his brother may have noticed all the non verbal vibes from you & may be toying with your emotions.
Finally the decision lies with you. Do what's best for you as well as all concerned. Don't be the cause of any rift in the family
you won't enjoy the relationship like that.
Hmmmm..... I smell trouble in 3D. You better transfer your lust and emotions for the younger brother to the older one or stay away from the family if you cannot control yourself else you'll eventually loose. Igbo men don't choose woman over their family. BE WARNED!!!
Ashewo.. Lol.. I'm joking. You have to trust what you feel for his brother, cuz if u dont, it is not worth losing your current relationship over. But be aware your actions will have consequences. So be ready to deal with them.
Unknown to you 3 of the siblings might have opened up to themselves about this matter while waiting to see your reaction. Sweetie family will always be together!! dont get caught up in LUST! cuz you will surely lose everything..you cant come between them.
Pls stick to ur man o! This is a phase n it will pass.
my dear,my advice to you is to leave them both before u commit an abominable act by sleepin with the older brother.good luck
Madam! Quick question, if you see another man that has the same kind of things you like in your boyfriend's brother, would you go for him too? You are in control of your emotions and feelings, don't make it look as if your emotions put a rope on your neck and is dragging you about, that you can't make rational decisions or think straight. Sista, a word is enuff for the wise, forget about having feelings for the brother and focus on your boyfriend and build your relationship with him. I rest my case.
U should just leave that family alone or you will surely divide it either way if you marry your man what's to say you won't cheat with his brother later on and if you go for the older brother, your man will never forgive his brother much less you. As for your man, I think it is over between you two.
Jst leave the 2 of them.cos u myt end up losing in d end!just walk away!my 2cents
ONOME says...............
Story story,story
once upon a time;time time
There was a girl in love/lust with 2 brothers.She wants to eat her cake and have it..blah blah blah blah blah.
Abeg shift! I have stopped giving advice to women who play the victim roles.My time is invaluable,sorry ma'am!Anything u wan do make u do;na your life;na u sabi.
2 B.sc and a masters and a good job and cannot manage your domestic affairs?lollllllll.YOUR PROBLEM!
Just give him Kpomo, he should Pop it then u can just move on to go your own way. Don't come between 2 brodas. Since u are educated & cultured, u know better than that. But seriously, this issue is not true love u have 4 any of them atall. Na just Kpekus go raise anytime u see am or hear from am & water go full there... - Akpors from Warri
Don't do it behind your man,tell him if you know you can afford to loose him when he says no,then if he says yes that u should go ahead with his brother then good for u,but in all u must jokingly discuss it with ur man like " Mehn na wa o that ur elder brother make sense o,I fit fall for am If I no know u" just something that will send a message to ur guy, then some younger brothers do accept to let go for the elder brother sake,I have seen that happen before where a younger brother in Nigeria gave his elder brother from Germany his girl friend bcos the family were looking for a wife for him since he has been in Germany ,but if your man says no and feel bad about your joke then its a sign to back off his elder brother pls ,don't go for his brother behind his
back And I must tell you to be careful bcos you never can tell maybe it's test or setup just to know who u are but if it's not then tell ur guy with joke and see his response. Stop chatting and texting with his elder brother bcos he may save them or his younger brother (ur boyfriend ) may get to see them. Choose one,either you leave the family alone if u can't stand your boyfriend again bcos you couldnt get the brother or you continue with him afterall you said both Of u love each other . And if u have made up ur mind to give up on ur bf no matter what,then let him n the family no and if they refuse you can leave them all alone and move on afterall it won't hurt u bcos u were thinking of leaving the family alone. Good luck
Hi, i am a life coach, the only option you is to stay with the eldest or do away with the family. If ♈ōϋ involve yourself in dating both, forget culture, you would become so confused and fulstrated by feelings for both. Please dump thȧț drama. It is nƠ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡t worth it
Wrong move, Why would u go speak to one of their sisters, even if u're close??? WRONG MOVE!!!
no one can make this decision 4 you....ask yourself can i break up my engagement bcos of wild flirtation with my'brother in law'. weigh both sides dear, one wuld out weigh the other and that's the best choice 4 you. b wise or may end up losing both guys
Dear Lady,
I know that you will be chastised by many. But i am proud of you and your achievements and will give you honest advise. No one deserves to be unhappy for ever. You have not slept with the younger brother so break up nicely with him. Do not go chasing the elder brother, wait patiently and see if he will come for you. Whatever you decide to do, you will be the enemy so you must be ready for it. What i wont support is you keeping one brother and having liaisons with the other. Just break off with the younger and something tells me the older will come especially as he know you did not sleep with his brother. Don't be too quick to do anything with him because you need to be sure of his intentions. Take it real slow and easy and if he is yours, it will all work out. You are a good girl, take care.
Two bachelors, a masters, and an MBA on going and you can't write properly! Fortune 500 company my big black hairy a***!!!
Please get a life and stop making a fool of your self.
You already know the right thing to do, why waste our time?
Bored Dull Broad!!!
dis one hard oooooo. my dear,search ur heart and use your head. don't go and create enemity where none exists cos of 'love'. put urself in ur boyfriend's shoes,if u find out that he's losting after ur sister,how will u feel? i think its best u leave the both brothers alone for sometime.cos from the look of things,u are infatuated wiv d elder bro. these things happen buh i bet you dat if u wanna play it out d way u want it,u are goona loose out @ d end of the day.
From someone who is been there before
Look 4 a way to catch ur guy redhanded cheating on u...Thus your excuse to leave him and Leave his family.Don't be d cause of a family break up,u might not enjoy the consequences.
Add me 33030bd0.
I don't understand how this person has 2 degrees and their written English is so poor. I'm just going to assume she was writing in a more relaxed manner for the email lol.
Anyways, my advice won't give you a definite answer for what you should do but hopefully it will help make your decision process easier.
I'd advise you to just list out the choices you can make as well as the potential outcomes with each choice. So basically if your choices are: stay with your current boyfriend, dump him for his brother, or dump him & cut off contact with his family, what are the pros and cons of each of those choices and most importantly which one would you prefer.
You have to be realistic with yourself about what would REALLY happen in each case and not just what you would ideally like to happen and then make a decision.
Hope that helps
You have to quit d family if u knw u are not in love with d right person u met initially. because u will be igniting FIRE if u continue ur stupid lust.
i really feel for u, my dear what is best for everyone of you is for you to let go of the family cos if u don't there wouldn't be peace in that home again. Takeheart
There isnt enuf evidence that the elder brother is dying for you. He ain't damning any consequences to b with u. He even said if not for his brother........ That means he values family more tthan u. For as long as his younger brother is alive. Notin for you except if u wan commit murder.
Your curiosity will put you in deep mess. You need to Have SEX ASAP...... To satisfy your Curiosity, You gave room for it. (the txt, the chats, the calls)and i'm very sure series of compliments follow....
you started it, He figure it out and he's playing on it.
You have to reason Fast. What if both brothers BET on you?
Have sex with you Boyfriend/fiance and get over it.
you like him, let it end that way and stop pushing it.
The Borther is Idle (i'm very sure he's single) that's why he's got your time, if He isn't, he wldnt be playing this "Game"
voluntere to find him a nice looking girl and lets see how it goes
the older guy, has studied you and knows your weakness, moreso, it could be a game from both brothers, with the elder one who is lusting after you trying to tease the brother, sincerely girl, i think u need to tell ur BOYFRIEND the truth and tell him Y u are aving feelings for the bro. If he loves you, he would help improve you two's relationship. Men are cunning... ask God for wisdom... A virtuous woman, is worth more than Rubies...
This is very very complicated mehn,dont even know what to say*sigh*
QF
well,well,well ds is huge,ok lets get started. U want advice?walk away frm both of dm...if u go wif d older one ul bite ur fingers 4lyk 4eva...u obviously u dnt lov d second1 so its gonna b a disaster. Plz dnt cos a rift btw dm jst let it go,k.
Are you guys taking this troll seriously? 2 bachelor degrees, 1 masters and working on an MBA. Working in a fortune 500 company. YEAH RIGHT!!!
Girl which grammar you take write your essays abeg, lol. You are a joke seriously.
My advice to you is to shag both brothers and be done with it. V friggin card my foot.
Linda post my comment o.
You should leave your boyfriend, and deliberately distance yourself from his brother.
If after a while ie after you boyfriend is over the break up and has moved on, and the elder brother is still interested, ask him to talk to his younger brother about it! Simple. I don't see how this should break any family apart and as long as you weren't shagging the younger brother its not so terrible. #wotiwoulddo
LOL, this girl's story got me raging. Two bachelors's masters & an MBA in progress? Let's not forget she is in her early 20s... I'm too pissed to write down an opinion. She is just book smart? Abeg this is not why Jesus died. She can't be confiding in her boyfriend's sister. They aren't even married. Please not all Linda's readers are plain dumb. You made up this story. Sorry, be real.
Errm, How can you be JUst in your early twenties & u bagged all those degrees?????????????????
#FictionAlert
the girl nah thief abeg leave dem brothers alone and find your love else were as if for 3 years you are dating and you still have a moving eye then you are a flirt and they would just use you and dumb you
looks like a test to me.u fail u loose evrtin.my advice STICK TO UR BOYFRIEND WHO LOVES YOU EVERYOTHER THING IS LUST. be warned!!!!!
taaa thats a lie, if u are not the one lying, the person that wrote that story is a liar hahahaha, the only way, you can achive so many degrees and be in ur early twenties is if u finished secondary school @ 13 or 14...and u've spent so much time in uni and been doing long distance relationship for 3years and u hve ur "vcard" sheyyttt, some ZEB EJIRO productions...hahaha
You are right ..ashawo simple
there's just one comment i think you should go with...written by paul.......'this too shall pass'!
taaa thats a lie, if u are not the one lying, the person that wrote that story is a liar hahahaha, the only way, you can achive so many degrees and be in ur early twenties is if u finished secondary school @ 13 or 14...and u've spent so much time in uni and been doing long distance relationship for 3years and u hve ur "vcard" sheyyttt, some ZEB EJIRO productions...hahaha
Boring, fake story.
this one na nigerian film o. Any way lets assume it is real. my sis go to the Lord in prayer because your have allowed the seed of lust to sart germinating. Trust me the fruits are bitter o.
be careful o, you are treading a dangerous part
two bachelors, a masters and an mba? why dont you just do your PhD and forget the two brothers??
One word for the grl..... OLOSHI ... U must be out of ur mind..
very soon we'll hear you are in luv with their father, uncle, nephew, cousin etc. Pls scramp. KC
two bachelors, a masters and an mba? why dont you just do your PhD and forget the two brothers??
u will be a big time looser if u dare sleep with ur bf's brother don't get carried away by the sweet text once u give in that will stop and your face go clear sharply but it will be late already if you knw u cant control yourself stay away from the both of them and stop putting up excuses that ur bf womanizes do u knw what his elder brother also do respect urself and dnt sell urself for a penny
please take a walk outta d relationship cos its obvious ure lost..dont do what you would regret. things like this turns out really uglyy
Well 4 me wat I see is obvious lust..u re talking abt allowin hm pop ur cherry which u hv nt allowd ur man..Be sur of wat u re feeling, it might jst b mere attractn or crush dnt let dat ruin ur relatnship..No mata hw much u re in love wit sm1 u wud alwys meet pple dat wud get ur attentn nd tickle ur fancy but its important w learn dat love is simply CONTENTMENT..wish u well in makin a final decision. BLOGBOSS*
I cannot believe i found this out on a 'blog'? Did you think u cud hide here? U cud hav aswell included our names, mine and my brothers...u dont even have the decency to pick my freaking calls....u are a crazy thing, i hate you and my freaking brother, why the hell have you chosen to ruin my life??? why?
my dear, if your story is true and you really want some good advice, i will say, let that family go. 1. its a dangerous thing to love two brothers and 2, at the end you will be the one to be put to shame cos you will end up being the cheat, liar and gold digger which you are not. my advice, break up with the younger brother, end all communication with the older and if you are asked why you did, be honest and tell them.
u know what john depp said about relationship like this "if you feel love for 2 guys @ d same time, choose the 2nd because if you had loved the 1st one, u'll not give d 2nd one a chance @ all" while i wld v wanted u to give d 2nd a chance but they r brothersssss, oh NO how i wish they r something else, maybe friends, then u'll know they can never be friends again, but this is family, u might v to move far away from d family or u stay wt ur #1 bloke and forget about the brother moreover, are u sure ts not infatuation????? cause love and infa sounds alike but there is a huge difference
another fake story .yawning
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
oh gal. run for ur life. everytin dat glitter is not gold. Ur boi-friend brother can not be that cool and very nice not to have a gal-friend. which means you are the other woman heheheheheh. and you need to read alot of meaning to the guys sister comment. i think u need to take a walk.
Doubt this babe's educational qualifications. That's a barefaced lie and its quite obvious. But she may actually work for a fortune500 company. After all, etisalat is one.
I think the best thing to do is to let it all go. If you make the mistake of giving in to the older brother, you will only have yourself to blame. Nothing's impossible but i just don't see things remaining the same if you choose to stay with your boyfriend and fight this tempation. You seem very vulnerable now to this older brother and since you are a strong, independent and educated woman and possibly a looker too, you should have no problems coping.
Wish you luck.
If you're not in love with your boyfriend then walk away from their family with your dignity intact. Put yourself in your boyfriends shoes...how would u feel if someone did that to you? Dating the older brother is a non starter. In future you'll be glad you didn't give in to temptation.
Sleep with both of them after that you will know the one you truly love!... Lmao!!!
Seriously for your own good just run away from them because if you stick to your boyfriend you will always still have feeling for the brother. MAKE BAD TIN NO GO HAPPEN FOR BACK AFTER YOU DON MARRY YOUR BOYFRIEND FINISH O I DEY WARN YOU!!!
Heres my take ...Writer i cant believe you kept your cherries this long only to consider popping it in a foolish way..you might aswell have popped it when you were 13-15 cos right now thats the childish, dumb, school girl decision your about to make..if you were raised morally right as you kept on emphasizing then this shouldn't even be a public debate, those so called seeds of culture and moral standards instilled in you should violently be shouting NOFREAKINGWAYINHELL and thats the BOTTOMLINE. Never Ever think you have the right to use your "area" regardless of how NEW/USED it is + your selfish lustful emotions to scatter another mans house-hold no matter how greedy certain members of the household maybe. I'm NOT even trying to be disrepectful...but hey sis Shine ur Eyez and wake up outta this foolishness *hiss*
U go to university and still clueless about 'butterflies in my tummy' ????!!!!! Ehh go back to kindergatton I say!
NA WA OH!!! -_-
I just HOPE that the two BROTHERS are playing a GAME (because i have to QUESTION the MENTALITY someone who would BETRAY his BLOOD BROTHER like that)
i HOPE they are TESTING you to SEE if you would the RIGHT KIND of WOMAN that he should COMMIT to.
...and by the LOOKS OF THINGS, its seems that you have already FAILED!
It is possible I know some who got her phd when she was only 23 after her first degree and masters
Lmfao!!!!!!! Ahahahahaha pheeeww
Nigerians are an fucking irritating why is it not possible becos u are no smart enough to get ur degrees early does not mean Other ppl can't hiss nonsense the small mindedness is a bit much haba!
Please do you People know what early 20's mean. This cld be 21 up till 24 use ur brains. If she went to university at 17 she cld have had two degrees back to back her masters and go a job straight after and is doing her. MBA in the process.
@LI readers do we always have to so abusive. she asked for advise if u dnt have then pls be quite.
@James Awang why are u sooo rude???
my dear i knw hw u feel my advise is tell God and ur bf about it and wait for the response.
wld put it up on my fb and the comments i wld send to linda.
Advice-Dont break a happy family. You feel infatuation for the older bro. Early 20s..you have your whole life ahead of you.If you are not happy w ur bf,,,,move on. but not to his older bro. you wld regret if for the rest of ur life.Gbam,If u like dont listen!
U go to university and still clueless about 'butterflies in my tummy' ????!!!!! Ehh go back to kindergatton I say!
hahaha at April 25, 2012 1:59 PM comment, ode, u r the reason...olodo go and get ur own degree thats if you can pass jamb..."Nigerians are an fucking" and "small mindedness"...really? clearly u hve no degrees, take it from me i have a few *kmt*
1.u read too much romantic novels
2.if u re really cultured nd intelligent u'll know dat u are nt ment to pop ur 'agbalumo' 4 d bro jst bcos of lust or 'love'
3.dnt tell ur bf cos he nd is bro wnt get along evn after u leave dat is only if u know dey are nt fooling u bt u cn also decide 2 tell him ur choice
4.stop alll comm btwn d bro nd u nd let d family be it simply means fi won le
First of all, permit me to say...impressive resume.
Hey gal, you said it yourself that you respect tradition. In Naija, to really marry, I mean to really really marry, You have to be married to the family. So my notes
1. What happened to you is not a new thing at all. It happens all the tym; boyfriend's best friend, boyfriend's sisters' friend, boyfriend's elder brother, boyfriend's uncle..catch my drift?
2. No matter what you think you have in your hand, there is always something that looks better outside
3. Loving someone is a decision, not a feeling. Love is a verb, not a noun. What you are feeling now is the noun, its totally eros(lust)
What you are feeling for the elder brother might not be real. even if it is, you cant go ahead to act on it because the family would never accept you. This is reality and not hollywood movie.
Also, the fact that you ve begun to look for flaws in the younger brother implies that you cant continue with him. Leave the family and detoxify yourself emotionally. Babes, be wise.
oro abo la n so fomoluwabi, bo ba denu e, a dodindi (A word is enough for the wise)
- Olah
Situations like this require tough love and i think Anon April @5 10:07 AM has said it all. "Errrm, my lady, can I say first that the difference between us as humans n animals is that we r able to control our emotions". You should never have entertained these 'feelings' in the first place. Plus did you say their sister knows? LOL! Girl waka, you need to dump both brothers fast like hot amala! Shame you've ruined your relationship but there is no way it can work now that there is this brother factor in the game. If he doesn't know by now, he'll find out sooner than later and dump your arse!
sincerely,my best advise to you at this critical period is to sit down and take the next small step,talk to yourself and tell yourself the damn truth.From all indications,ur lusting after the older bro,and this i tell you would fade away before you know it.Stick with the younger brother whom you've been dating,u neva can tell,like someone said the older might just want to pop ur cherry n it could also be a bet btwn the two brothers.How do you know the younger brother doesnt even know about the exchange of text messages that's been going on,so gurl.....think twice and real hard.
Good luck!!!
I think you feel u r still young and u still dey town
thats y u hv one and can also see another. you are
probably not ready for marriage. let me ask you a
question what if u are married already and you just
met ur bro inlaw would you fall for him? the thing
is we all have tendencies to do more than one man
as women and same thing goes for men but you
have to be disciplined!! if u hv been thru rough
times searching u would stick to one as long as it
works and pls dont sweet talk us wif rumors of how
ur boyfriend womanise.
Babe, i feel u....my suggestion, dump both of them and try to get ova the bro!! Firstly, u cant marry someone you dont love, Secondly, a relationship with d bro would not work either cos the family will never accept dis "following our hearts" bull shit!...u sound like a nice girl, dont worry, u will love again.
Awele ur life is not ruined tho if u r really the guy well there r many fish in the sea.
You must be another home breaker if you ask her to discuss things with her bf..dont you know the bf knowing his brother has been doing such things behind him is enough reason to break thier home...To the writer: Bitch get a life and take your bitchy soul elsewhere before you destroy pples home..you are confused
Girl, I have been in the same situation. My bf suspected it first and ask me but i lied(professional lie). I told him im not flirty or having any feelings for his bro. He said his bro acts strange wenever i call him. he'll go anoda place to anser his phone.i was confused and i kmw i was doing the wrong thing. so oneday, i called his elder bro, told him what my bf said abt him and he was laffing..said he is still young and we both are young..my bf is my age-mate and his bro is two years older than us. when d elder bro says he wants to make luv to me...my reply will be lol or i will laugh. stop calling his brother and tell ur bf d truth. the feelings for his bro will stop tho not immediately. i use to call his bro like everyday but now it doesnt happen. lolz my bf gave me restrictions sef. he said i shouldnt talk to his brother or male cuzins, i didnt do it wen he said so but i stop doing by God grace. pray abt it. I was force to admit to his elder bro dat im in luv wit my bf. and he said" we are brothers,no matter what, i wouldnt hurt my brother"so bcareful girl.Also, my bf knws i will talk a guy if he is fine. so he always ask me,who i had crush on evryday. yes i tell him the truth. will decribe the guy and he'll like omg stop babe.
Girl, I have been in the same situation. My bf suspected it first and ask me but i lied(professional lie). I told him im not flirty or having any feelings for his bro. He said his bro acts strange wenever i call him. he'll go anoda place to answer his phone.i was confused and i knw i was doing the wrong thing. so oneday, i called his elder bro, told him what my bf said abt him and he was laffing..said he is still young and we both are young..my bf is my age-mate and his bro is two years older than us. when d elder bro says he wants to make luv to me...my reply will be lol or i will laugh. stop calling his brother and tell ur bf d truth. the feelings for his bro will stop tho not immediately. i use to call his bro like everyday but now it doesnt happen. lolz my bf gave me restrictions sef. he said i shouldnt talk to his brother or male cuzins, i didnt do it wen he said so but i stop doing by God grace. pray abt it. I was force to admit to his elder bro dat im in luv wit my bf. and he said" we are brothers,no matter what, i wouldnt hurt my brother"so bcareful girl.Also, my bf knws i will talk a guy if he is fine. so he always ask me,who i had crush on evryday. yes i tell him the truth. will decribe the guy and he'll like omg stop babe.tell ur man the truth, 4get his bro. his bro wouldnt leave his family for u. dnt be rude to his elder bro tooo
So u say she should have sex with the older guy and enjoy it to the very last drop? Then what happens to the relationship btw the 2 brother? You are a fool...If its ur sister.. is that the advice u wld give to her..ashewo sef dey ur own blood period
I can state how you think with what you have written.. Bitch!!!
She shld tell the guy as a joke..if na you dem tell that thing as a joke...u go think normal again.Dumb pple wld also claim they are giving advices...Mtcheeeeeew
Younger one introduces a girl to his family and you say you advice she stays with the eldest...You must be a life coach in a village who just happened to stumble on internet
My advice for you is to leave that family alone in peace.you are infatuated with the elder one which clearly states you don't love the younger one again..Please Go away. If you still go on decieving ur present bf and he ends up marrying you.you would one day spread your legs for his brother and then you will be doomed for life.period
The Road Is a 'No-Go-Area'!
Temple
ahhaha my own question to her is if this happened to her own brothers how would she feel and what would she do ehh. don't do what you don't want others to do to you to them or else it is cruel and wicked.
so my advice to you is leave them alone as if you eventually marry either of them you would always have a greedy mind as to if i had know thought okay. so leave them alone and find someone else as you are still in your 2wenties and young finito
Take a bold step and have sex with your boyfriend hun. ( this your V card or no V card you sound like you own a dildo)
1) you might end up sealing the deal and you two becoming one.
2) If the older brother is still interested after that
- he is sick
- might really love you
- and Sorry babe. Vodka works, but after that try a tattoo saying "YOLO"
3) there might be no chemistry with you and and the younger brother.
- Tequila this time booboo. May be flaming absinth either way you're screwed
- Many more fish in the sea and maybe a tattoo saying 'once beaten twice shy"
sha sha avoid ruining the family. If your heart is really with the older brother, you don't love the other. Let go and let love charms takes you somewhere that the relationship would start and end in peace. Avoid the drama now before you say 'i do'.
Goood luck lovey
Honey Xx
This is going to end bad regardless and since you havent F*d yet which is really f*d up (Im a female speaking) you should have experimented along time ago. Just pick one of the bros and F---sha. You make the decision no matter what it wont work so as long as your happy with your decision. Life is short, You only live once, your young, you'll learn.
Just do both of them
-----------------signed, the Devil
Hi, Am begging u in the name of God, don't get urself in sure relationship. If u know u can't endure, Pls 4get abt ur boyfriend and the elder brother and move on with ur life. It's a taboo.
Biko who are these didirins saying 'follow ur heart dear" You must be stupid! which dirty heart does she have 2 follow? if she had a good heart she wouldnt start admiring her bf's brother in the first place (oloshi) Pls ehn Nigga, just stick 2 u bf cos u WONT get any better than him and remember blood is thicker than water. You will be d joke and outcast in the end.
Nw yawning............ super story Oshi. Abeg shift mk i see road
LIB Haters sha: advice you cant give, instead youre busy poking holes at the girls qualifications.
ever heard of double majors? one year masters. Thats just 5 years, while the haters are still writing JAMB.
Anyways, back to the main story:
your INFATUATION with the older brother is strong because its taboo
If you're a christian i suggest you read the story of Amon and Tamar
2. Its better to be with a guy who is madly in love with you than one who you're madly in love with., but if he's busy chasing girls all over in your absence sha...
I think you need to search yourself and ask yourself whether you really love your boyfriend, if you do, then put everything into making sure it works.
If you dont, break up with him, allow some time before you even consider dating older bro, but be prepared to lose both.
PS: You can NEVER come between the two brothers. YOU will be the one to lose out.
Whatever you do, do NOT let the older brother pop your cherry.
First of all, I admire your qualifications as well as being independent and stuff like that, but this is my candid advice: take an elevator to a sky rise building (because taking the stirs will make you (change your mind) and when at the top, jump with your head first and I ASSURE you, you shall get the answer you seek before you touch the ground. As for those of you sounding religious and stuff, how could you even advice that she takes this to God, is it not sinful enough?!
U can say dt again pal!
Was seriously wondering too... Advise wey go make u decide to take ur own life.lol
Confused gal.. U are simply attracted to d brother's (older) pysical appearance... Don't just try anytin stupid, becos u will hate wht/who u will become..
As it is now, tori don worwor....CARRY YOUR KAYA AND LEAVE THAT FAMILY....the moment you told their sister, you officially ended the relationship...2 bachelors and masters on d way and you're still dis dumb? Wow, common sense is really not common. The brodas r testing your small brain, and you have failed already. What if either of them is an ARDENT LIB reader, you think dey won't know you? Foolish geh! You av a man who could respect your vcard for three years and you want to throw it away over smelly lust...smh...I'm 25, still a virgin and I can assure you, if I get hold of your kind of bf, I'm not letting him go for anything. A word is enuf for even a foolish girl that wants to be wise..................btw GBOSA! You are a brilliant chap.
love has its twists and turns and the heart definitly conjures stuff up.its best to leave both of them and move on with your life,cos even if you get married to the present one,you will make out with the other compounding your problems.if its not about the money,then move on babe.
i agree wit u both. I see so many lies in dis stupid story. 1st u mk us bliv u hv ur Vcard so @ least no one will ask OMG! How can u sleep wit two brothers? Secondly u mk us blieve u a comfortable woman so we all knw ur not after money. Ur mind is md up already. U want every body 2 say yes oo since u hv not slept wit u bf ds no big deal. Go sitdown! Ur mind is made up already advice ko advice ni! Lustful woman mtchewwww
Just came to my mind that this might be a set-up for the girl in question... since the family is so rich, they prolly want to make sure that you are not in for the $$$$... and that their sisters 'go with the one that gets the most share of property" is SCARY.
The bible says.... FLEE from all appearances of evil. There is no point deceiving yourself dearie... FLEE else you cause trouble in a peaceful home.
Omg! you guys are always quick to crucify! Quick to judge...why? the way our heart works...is unpredictable. If you cannot advise, then read and pass. You do not have to comment on any post. Lady, I dont think you should go ahead and marry if you do not LOVE the person you're going to marry. That said, I dont think you should go ahead with the other brother or even cause a rift in the family. The wahala dat comes after is not worth it at all. If you think you have a good man, share your story with him DIPLOMATICALLY. If he loves you, I believe he would understand and trust me when you do the feelings begin to fade off. I used to tell my ex about my crushes, I dont think it went down well with him though...anyways he's ex now but doing so helped me to overcome the feelings i had for the other person. Also pray about it. God answers prayers no matter how stupid they sound!
My dear young lady. As you are in your early 20s,I doubt if you really know what being in love is.That you have two masters degree and an MBA at 20/24, does not mean that you are matured enough to understand the matters of the heart.When, during your first degree,two masters and MBA did you have the time to assuage your sexuality, or was your love based on the theories you read or watched in movies?Your descriptive explanations of the guy you are lusting after showed that you have failed to look at the real ingredients that sustains a relationship.You are immature and need to grow up.I suggest you focus more on growing up and realize the true meaning of shared values in relationship,instead of the lustful feelings that you are getting right now,which no doubt will fade away.My suggestion???None of the two dudes deserve you for you are still very young to comprehend what love is.
'Money,inheritance,independence,certificates et all....these things, you can manipulate or change....when you find love for real, you don't see all these things'....Ask me for advice whe you are in your late middle 20s middle 30s and then we can talk.For now,enjoy the new phase of life that you are entering.....
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