So here goes. I haven't been with a man in so long, that I hardly remember what it feels like anymore. Mostly for two reasons. One, I was brought up in a kind of way. I have to really really be into someone before I can share my body with them, and I haven't met anyone special in a long while, so I've been riding solo. It makes me very sad sometimes...
Secondly, I've never really enjoyed sex. And I blame it on the fact that I was circumcised. Some things were cut off, so there's not much sensation down there. I mean, I enjoyed intimacy and when the tonque was at work...*cough*... but penetration was a different case. Half the time, I couldn't wait for him to get off me. (I can't believe I'm writing all these on the internet...hmmm...let's continue sha). So usually, I tell myself why seek something you don't particularly enjoy? What's the point really? So I've basically just stayed away.
But lately I have been feeling somehow and I think it's time to get my groove back. I want to feel like a woman again, so I've decided to find me a man before the end of the year. But I don't want to be turned off sex again. As a circumcised woman, how can I make myself enjoy sex? Does circumcision even have anything to do with it? That's always been my belief because other circumcised women I've spoken with say they don't enjoy sex either...at least not as much as women who were not circumcised.
Do you have any advice for me and other women in my situation? Please I don't want any yéyé responses o. This is a serious matter..:-)
366 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 366 of 366Linda, where are all your old viewers? They may be reading and not commenting. I remember when you wrote about this story a year or two ago. I now feel like a stalwart because this is the second time i’m reading about you saying this.
Circumcision is backward! Period!! I’m Ibo and my dad is in his early 70s and my mum her early 60s. I remember a woman (about her age) told my mum that girls are so promiscuous these days because they are not circumcised!!! She’s an illiterate anyway. She’s circumcised and all her daughters are circumcised! My mum’s face riled and said she and her sisters were never circumcised nor were the women in my Dad’s family circumcised. Even though my parents grew up in the cities; Aba and PH because their parents were government officials, still, the women that grew up in their villages were not circumcised.
Linda, please ask your parents why they circumcised you and if any incantations were done? It will go a long way to heal you. Was it a village practice and was it done to all females?
I’m from a Catholic background and now Pentecostal. In my church, we have treated this issue and my Pastor keeps saying it’s a covenant and a form of idol worship. He prays and casts out whatever for the women that have come forth to say they are circumcised.
I heard of a story where a woman who is in her 40s now was circumcised and she could never ever get satisfaction from her hubby and was always masturbating. Eventually, she went to church, got delivered and said whatever evil spirit was behind it, left her. I think you should also look at that prayer and fasting angle and speak to God.
I’ll still read all the comments. I went halfway and got pissed off when i saw Cindy’s post where she said she was first! Meanwhile her comment was way down the middle. I hope she feels silly now. This is not Bella Naija where people struggle to be the first commentator. Get over the childishness.
Lin you carry your mouth ask question abi? You don get boku boku answers now. Hahahahahahaha!
I am not circumcized but I don't enjoy sex but I can pleasure myself. Linda my love get a wonderful vibrator; a rampant rabbit thruster deluxe. Its awesome. You'll get there
you are very civilized! kip it up, am not circumcised so i cant give a candid advice.. all the best in your research.
I'll just share an age-long truth-sex just like everything in life is 90% the mind and a measly 10% every other thing.u just have to believe u are not different from the average woman 'cos truth be told most women with their 'parts' intact still have issues with sex,frigidity and vaginasmusis(some condition where the vagina snaps shut if anything as small as the woman's finger tries to go in) among others.
just use your brain which is the most effective sexual organ and if you have a self-less man,you're good to go and remember to explore all your 'options' as regards your erogenous zones.lol
Goodluck!
P.S: Thumbs up for being real.we need more people like you in this fake world.
@Akwannwa's loverman you just spoke my mind u gave the best advice so far............i never enjoyed sex myself until i started looking beyond and found me the rite man......Linda it take u to help u.
everyone's blahbing... You need the right person that can get ur juice flowing.. dosen't really matter if u r circumsized... Your G-Spot still works right??? mehn.. u prolly need me in ur life *wink*
Hi Linda, this is serious and I want to treat it seriously.I am a muslim and our prophet(Muhammad) has taught us a lot about circumcision and this case u have mentioned. Firstly, circumcision is good if it is properly done.Our prophet was always meticulous telling d women doing it NOT to completely cut OFF the flesh, as the woman would not be able to feel sex.Islam strictly goes against cutting OFF d whole flesh, but little cut off of it is enjoined.Circumcision makes u control your sexual huge, it makes u maintain your chastity also it has been proven medically that a circumcised female CAN NEVER have a cancer of the genital.I dont think yours is completely cut off, since you could still feel.so good for U. The reason the WEST is NOT advocating for female circumcision like the male is because of the madness they enjoy in women if they are not circumcised, u know?, they can easily use them for porns, and sen machines and all that because they no know they are sexually crazy, and these women are prone to genital diseases. So be proud of who u are, sex is beyond the insertion, build your psychology around your husband's body, and you would enjoy every move. Seriously enough, Islam also teaches us how to have sex with our wifes in a way she would love most. You may e-mail me ,if u need more info. ISLAM IS A SYSTEM OF LIFE.Just mention the topic it has an explanation.
Hope you get to read this.
I was married to a woman who didn't like sex - oral or penetrative. She wasn't circumcised and she didn't have any issues from the past (at least none she told me about).
I thought I had a problem so I sort help.
Before I go on, thank you for drawing attention to the problem of female circumcision. I see this post as a selfless and brave act. God bless you.
I learnt Tantirc sex from an Asian lady - I actually paid for it! It helped for a while - maybe because for her it was something new. She never let me go down on her so fellatio was not an option.
I also started a determined quest to discover the elusive g-spot. But when someone doesn't even like intimacy, how are you going to get to poke around inside her looking for a tiny bump that might not even exist?
Anyway. I lost a lot of confidence in myself and I wish I didn't because it turned out it wasn't sex that she didn't like, but sex with a man. Yup, she liked women.
I see nothing wrong with being homosexual, it's the way some people were born. But just like my ex, a lot of women and men, fail to explore their sexuality and thus never discover what works for them.
I've since discovered what works for me and it involves a women, a great conversation, a bottle of good red wine and lots and lots of whip-cream.
If I'm to offer any advice, I'd say start with Tantirc sex, experiment with a dildo, and find a man who knows what to do with his lips and tongue.
Good luck and God bless
wow shit ton of comments, some of which can be categorized into
WWPS - or What Would People Sayers, a breed far too common in Naija, people who are terrified of other people's tongue and gossip and especially of scaring away potential 'husbands'
DNF - Do Not Fornicate, aka, born-againers. Equally as scandalized as WWPS peeps and equally as irritating
Linda, I'll reiterate what others have said. Thank you for your honesty. You're pointing out problems that millions of women across this continent face and whether they are sluts or women waiting patiently with legs closed for Mr. Right, it's a problem that will have to be faced.
I remembered watching a documentary about clitoral reconstruction surgery and I googled it to see what it was. Some of the doctors say that they can bring increased sexual pleasure. Many circumsized or uncircumsized women alike do not derive pleasure on penetration, but circumcised women face more pain. I do think continued sexual stimulation is necessary to enjoy penetration and lubricants can be helpful. I did see a link to a clinic in Paris that performs this surgery (in French, google translate. NSFW graphic photos) http://tinyurl.com/4yubdq4
we all dream about what we would like to say out loud but controversy always generates interest . As a public person she has made it clear her private life is now very public . I hope she doesnt regret it as frankness can be mistaken for naivete or worse beinb outspoken .The post will generate comments but truly i guess she is trying to bring out a point stop circumscising women.
Noelene Webmadam. 9jabook.com
Hi linda. this is serious though. anyway to be honest i can help u if u really want. i can suck u till u get to cloud seven, i promise you that. just contact. seyi4right@gmail.com.
Hi linda. its a pity. but i can be dere for yu if u wnt. i can suck you till u get to cloud seven. just contact me. seyi4right@gmail.com
Linda, i understand very well, cos i used to be in ur shoes, until i met a guy that explained everything about lovemaking to me, we always have passionate love making and it was mad fun. I am circumcised but now ave a diffrent view of love-making now. The thing about it is this:1 ur patner has to be ur frien, someone u like so much, and someone who understands ur mood swings when it comes to sex. 2:foreplay is very ensential befor lovemaking, at least for 2-5mins, which really helps 3:make sure u are talking, making jest, laughing during sex, crake jokes, to keep u in that mood, ponographic movies helps too
Iam circumcised though when i started in my twenties i never used to like it but over time,i do enjoy it and think it has to do with the person you are involved with.If the person is someone who take time to do the proper thing,i dont think there should be issue but if na wham wham thank you,maybe.
There are 3 types of circumcision i know:
The LABIA & CLITORIS are COMPLETELY removed, just leaving the opening.
Another, ONLY the CLIT is COMPLETELY removed, leaving the LABIA.
Another is, the CLIT is half-cut and the LABIA completely removed.
All these were done according to our forefathers to help women during child delivery 9who send them!}.
But according to the Yoruba history, it came about when warriors went away for many months to fight a war & came back home to find their wives pregnant or with a baby which does not belong to them. So when the ORACLE was seek to find a solution to their wives promiscuity, they were told by the priest to remove what was between their legs, so that led to female genital mutilation, DELTA women were circumcised immediately after giving birth, while other tribes do it as infancy.(so selfish and wicked of them!)
The first type of circumcision is worst!..THERE IS NO SENSATION, it takes a lot of 'work'..THE BRAIN..which is the most sexiest organ must come to play....prepare your mind...fantasize...must be with someone you are attracted to & love, if not, there would be no feelings whatsoever...then do the horse-ride=style, with him rubbing or sucking your nipples, so that the charred surface of the CLITORIS can rub against him & you would climax a little. Avoid the MISSIONARY! Doggy, & penetration from the side is the best while he rubs your nipples, so as to find your G-SPOT inside of you. It would take lots of practice to find the best postures to enjoy, and most importantly, he should be a patient lover, wooing you with words, this would make you prepare and be wet.
Ovulation period is the best time to enjoy sex. Because the body is prepared and hormones are high. The nipples would be so sensitive and brings lot of pleasure when both are rubbed simultaneously and suckled. The best posture for circumcised like US, is the horse-riding.
I hope it helped. I had to comment because i understood this problem more. You know who this is BROWN :p
Linda I really could slap your parents!!! Really? Circumcised? And for what? In this day and age? Was your mum circumcised? Goodness me...my heart goes out to you. I don't have advise for you but I will keep you in my prayers...Really sad!!
Please google and research...{Hugs}
Hi Linda, must confess that I'm not a regular reader of your blog. Was attracted on this occasion by a re-post of this on 9jabook.com. Damn! Can imagine how your previous guys must be feeling after reading this. Noting demoralizes a man like being told that he can't perform. Lol..
What you need is a friend with benefits. You know, that guy that will make sure you're not out of service but you guys know that you're not really heading anywhere. Can call on him whenever and he'll satisfy that part of your longing.
Per the circumcision thingee,don't really understand it. What part is excised? Watched a documentary where it seems western women are having some bits of their vj excised and i couldn't help but wonder if that did not constitute circumcision... http://documentaryheaven.com/the-perfect-vagina/
Please note that not all ladies enjoy the same kind of sex; met some who enjoyed penetrative sex and some who dis not. I've also come across some who enjoyed cunnilingus and some who would not let you get near that place... Maybe you fall in the category of those that love to be orally pleasured.
Dear Linda,
I must say, your candour is admirable. On the matter of circumcision, If you enjoy oral sex, maybe the matter is not physical but mental.
It seems to me oral sex gives you a level of intimacy, you are finding hard to duplicate with actual penetration. Which is odd, considering you are circumcised, It simply might be that you expect no pleasure from peentration, and therefore tense up once it's reaching that point. Just my thoughts
Linda, I admire your honestly. I have never met any one of your age and of your social background who has been circumcised so thanks for enlightening me about this issue.
with regards to sex, the best advice I can give you is to wait for your husband and God will perfect everything concerning your union in the name of Jesus.
sex outside of marraige is a sin but most of us have fallen short of God's glory so the best we can all do is let the Holy Spirit guide us down the right path and wait for our God ordained spouses.
Im not trying to sound holy hoy, but i think you will have the best sex of your life within the confines of your marraige.
Lagos is a treacherous place in terms of dating and nothing stands out more than a woman of virtue who makes it clear that she wants to save herself for her wedding night.
Phew! just finished reading all the comments. HYPOCRITICAL NIGERIANS as usual!
This is a fact: COMPLETE CIRCUMCISION /REMOVAL OF THE CLITORIS AND LABIA REMOVES ALL SENSATION!
It's her blog and have the right to post what she wants and if it affects your sensibility, click away and stop this righteous talks! She was brave and bold enough to state her problem because she is seeking for a solution!
You think she had not goggled it before or asked friends huh? She wanted an OBJECTIVE answer and not some therapist jargons that don't make sense!
The most important factor here is that her lover must be patient and 'work' on her. She should relax her mind and be 'prepared for it.
from you know who :BROWN :P
Common Linda,
I bet to disagree with you. Are you telling us here that every circumcised ladies or women don't enjoy sex. My dear, it's a thing mind you know, just try be a welcome when you feel like having sex. Except you're telling me no man can satisfy you in bed. Let me tell you, every circumcised women enjoys sex most than the uncircumcised. The circumcised ones don't go tired so early. I have lot of them baby. Kayode. 08034634991.
I believe you o.
For me is not about penetration only. I'm seeing a guy presently who has given me hundreds of orgasm both penetration and giving me a head or even touching me.
I think guys should take time to understand their woman's body to actually know exactly what would put them on cloud 7.
Circumcision or not, it all depends on how much the guy handles you.
This situation has lead some girls to having dildos and all sort of toys, turning GAY cause the excuse they give is how much concentration same sex showers on their partner's body.
My take heart and get a good guy who knows how to not only work it but know the right spots.... lol
Wow...........circumcision is a polite name for it but it is still mutilation of the female genitals regardless. It has been debated widely that women who have undergone this type of procedures find it difficult to enjoy sex however, I saw a programme a few years back here in London where these procedures can be reversed. The doctors who specialised in them were a French Doctor named Dr. Pierre Foldes and another doctor in the US who I cannot for the life of me remember. You could always research them and get consultation with them. Good luck with this.
DEAR LINDA IKEJI, I LOVE YOU! THERE,I SAID IT!
a li li li..lindaaa........ u have spoken the heart of 99% of nigerian ladies.. gba sibe... Gbosaaaa!!!!!!
linda u r very pretty i must say,i love the facial structure and symetry of your face,im a dental surgeon,thats why i took notice of these features,
im also confused, how do one know if they ve been circumsized or not? cos i also dnt like penetrative sex, i love fall play, and fall play is beautiful, especially when u do it with someone u r in love with a nd comfortable wt the person.
so mi question is hw do i know if i've been circumsized or not,maybe it wld also help me understand why i hate sex,iloveeeeeeeee to kiss,and can be ok with that,but u ve to be a good kisser aswell.
linda ooooo!!!!ina gwam madu!!!!mehn!!!!finally some body is sayin wat i wonder abt.my dear i am in ur shoes o,if he dsnt go down hmm,na wahala o,cos it wld jst end wit him eatin our cake alone o.4 me i tink i was circumcised(i av alwyz wondered abt it sha cos its diff 4rm som of those i c in porn movies and theirs r huge,lyk full lips,in short dey flap).dats y crcumcision came up in d first place,cos our mothers wer of d opinion dt those nt circumcised wer more promiscuous,considering d fact dt dey loved and enjoyed sex 2d fullest.and u know sex wasnt cosidered sometin 2b enjoyed.cos all d sensitive nerves r packed der,which is y 4 us,d guy needs 2 go down and attend to dem closely.av been avin sex 4 10 yrs nw and i can assure u,i hadnt had dt much orgasm and dts a big turn off 4 me always.i even had start learnin diff styles and all dt jst so dt i cld find pleasure in d act 2.i have been able 2 find wat works 4 me,i hope it will work 4 u,considerin d circumcision stuff.4 me he has 2 go down and /or allow me ride him,and if he allows me do the 2,mehn!!!den i can say i jst made love,cos he jst loved my body d ryt way!!!!basically u need a very caring and skilled lover dts ready 2 please u.whew!!!tank goodness 4 d secrecy of anonymous writin o,i 4 no fit,u get mind sha!!!!i gbadu ur liver.and b4 i 4gt u r beautiful.
Hello Linda,
I have a question for you too as a sequel to your post. should being circumcised be an issue to be discussed with your man before you marry him?
Hey Linda, just try and masturbate ursef first. i assure u u wil be able to locate ur G spot and enjoy sex
lol check this out linda ikeji vs mona Lisa painting ! photo
http://www.9jabook.com/forum/topics/linda-ikeji-i-never-liked-sex
i just creat a post on my blog at http://www.iaaaz.com/2011/07/circumcised-and-beautiful-lady-need.html#more to seek for advice for you.
Hi Linda, your courage is really commendable. But come to think of it, are all the guys in Lagos blind? How come you are all alone by yourself? On a serious note however, I seriously think you should talk to Funmi Akingbade. She does a column on Sex and Sexuality in Saturday Punch. Just pick up a copy next Saturday, you'll find her contact. I'm certain she'll be of help. She's a pro in matters like this. All the best.
linds one word: Vibrator!!! invest in a good one with batteries and get stimulating those vajayjays! you dont need a man's manual operated. besides they have waranty unlike men! cheers doll
see linda vs mona lisa photo na wao e be like say na leonardo da vinci our linda dey pose for o !
http://bit.ly/oQgkMx
na wa o. 202 comments on top toto matter?
chai!
The truth is that women are wired differently and what goes for one would by no mean work with another. I have been with circumcised women who scream to the roof top or act like their world is coming apart, and have been with uncircumcised women who just lie there and count the ceiling fan's rotation. I have had circumcised women who badger me for sex and ones that have all their tools in the right place who frown when I mention the act.
What I am trying to say is this, you have obviously been deprived of something, but it is not true that you cannot have swell, out of this world sex because of that.
My wife is circumcised and she was a virgin when I met her. Even before we did the act (Years before the wedding night o), her greatest fear was same with yours. she enjoyed the petting and all that, but was scared that she wouldn't enjoy the sex... she was way wrong. She enjoyed it much better than me and has been dominant sexually since then (I mean, she wants it more than me and demands it with a ferocity that pushes me to comply, and tickles me to the end of the earth).
Now I want you to consider this. Sex is not all about lying down on your back and expecting to be serviced by a hunk rearing at 1000 km per hour, it is about participation, it is about communication, it is about reciprocation, it is about knowing what you want, when you want it and letting your partner know that you want it.
change positions, not because of the novelty, but as a way to break the monotony.
My favorite position is having my woman on top. She on her part prefers the doggy or me on top. so we found a way to make all these work. I start with the missionary -- after lengthy fore plays, which is of import -- this feels like a continuation of foreplay, before going for the sideways, then the doggy -- various versions of it -- by which time my strength is diminishing, then she comes on top and allows me take a breather.
we usually end with the missionary and the close cuddling it allows.
One major thing we don't miss out is the communication... "are you feeling this?", "can you move a little deeper, slower, faster, higher, harder, softer?", "please kiss me here, hold me tighter, suck my breast, kiss me again.", "I can't feel it anymore, how do you want me to move?, spread your legs wider!". As funny as these conversation pieces might sound, it allow you ask for, recieve and give.
So Linda, sex is all about you. it is about throwing away your inhibitions, it is about becoming as 'animalistic' as the animals.
If you cannot give in fully, circumcision or not, sex for you will for ever remain a bore.
Another salient point before I run away with my anonymity, you said you are looking for a man. I believe "looking" is the wrong word. You have to stop looking and start seeing.
Many young girls fall into the habit of equating a man by the size of his pocket of the name of his perfume, or the brand of car(s) he drives. However, it is deeper than this. Look beyond the money, look beyond the class, look beyond the looks, look beyond the language, and you will find that you have seen a lot of men that drew your heart strings, whose only reason for not being with you is because there is a gap, created by you and the societal expectations.
Surely you can find love and be happy without a car and a big house. I am more than happy with my akwannwa, and we do not live in a flat, have much furniture, or own a car. We laugh every day and will continue laughing.
I hope I have helped, you and many others.
Thank you for sharing this. that was a brave thing to do.''
Akwannwa's loverman
Saved for further study.lol.
Ps: linda, you look so pretty in that pic of yours and kudos for the courage to put urself out there like that. I pray you're able to find proper help for your future husband;)
Nkilii
In my country, ALL men regardless of their parents'religious beliefs MUST be circumcised, lest they face ridicule from both genders. My two sons born abroad have, thus, been circumcised. Research on HIV/AIDS has even encouraged this practice as a proven precaution. As to women, some USED to undergo some form of mutilation of elongation, but traditions have changed (I'm male, from a much older generation than yours, by the way). Circumcised women with good sexual experience can best advise you. I trust such advice would be useful to and appreciated by female readers in your condition. Keep up the good work!
Hmmm Nice one. Party on!!!
lol...first of I totally understand how you feel because I was circumcised as a child and I am 25 now, like you I enjoy the oral and hated sex itself and that's because the actual nerve was not affected during the circumcision.
Just to clear some things, most female circumcision in Nigeria is done when the child is about a month old or less.
A woman who was circumcised as a baby can enjoy sex but it takes a lot of patience, a man that knows what he is doing and a woman that understands her body. This is because in most cases, the excess skin is cut off, part of the clit but not the nerve ('spot') that actually turns her on/makes her wet. It is usually where the clit is supposed to be, right before the vagina itself.
You should take note of that 'spot', that is the spot that actually makes you enjoy the oral sex and inform your partner. That is your key to happy sex.... You would need a lot of foreplay before the penetration because what you are trying to do is make yourself really wet and that spot highly stimulated.
When it comes to actual sex itself, the missionary style does not help in anyway. For obvious reasons that that spot is not being stimulated during the act. So try other positions, such as getting it from behind...it is easier for your partner or u to stimulate that nerve while doing it. What ever position you pick make sure that spot is having some fun as well. You have to be 'hands on' literally
You could try toys but I am not a huge fan of them..still find it awkward using them in the bedroom.
And finally relax....when you are tense, you won't enjoy it. Take a glass of wine or a couple and u'll be fine.
P.S - a man with a Mandingo and knows how to use it is an added advantage *wide grin*
Linda ur Blog is the most interesting blog ever.... i swear , u keep surprising me everyday..... keep up the good work girl!!!!
not much 2 add 2 my well educated co-commentators...even d blabbers too....
i know how u feel,i had my best girl friend who had the same issue like u do,she was very close to me that we were able to talk about everything..she too never enjoyed sex,in those period i tried to fix her up with my guys but she would never want to have or rather she never had intrest in having sex.i did all i can to encourage her to go ahead and just do it.
The good news now is that she is happily married now and just gave birth to a bouncing baby boy.
My advice to u is that u search for a matured guy,someone who know how to make love and there are cream u will have to use and i bet u will begin to ask for it..
Linda! I appreciate you for your sincerity. For your tough question, I guess when the right man comes along........ you will enjoy it. both of you have to discuss the problem and explore a lot of things together. You will get there!!! You will see......! And take am easy if you do oo! remember too much of everything is bad. lol
Linda Ikeji,pls try not to get too carried away with your blog and all the perks that r comin with it.
I don't know what part of you makes you feel you should open up yourself this way to the world, in the name of 'advise'. You of all pple should know better than to do this.
You are constantly on the internet so u know how to source info. on relevant issues, and i'm sure you have loads of friends you could hv discussed this with. I hope you don't take it personal if a member of the public randomly walks up to you and starts talking to u abt your sex life, cos that's exactly the avenue u've opend urself up to. No matter how westernized we all try to be, remember you r an african and moreso, a nigerian woman...
I must comment on this one,you this fine smart girl causing confusion on the internet trying to measure your fan base eh?.wish i was ready for marriage they way i will rush eh,if you don't agree i will use juju sef.lmao. i'm male and still an undergraduate, so no advice from here. this chick eh
Dear Linda,
You are one of the millions of women in Africa who've had to suffer in the name of culture. Google Waris Dirie, a Somali woman who also suffered the same fate as you. You are not alone. I would like to suggest a solution which many women are swearing by: the G-SHOT. Just google G-Shot and see. The G-Spot exists and it gives stronger orgasms than the clit. The doctor locates the G-spot in your V and injects it with something like botox that swells it up and it becomes so sensitive that you could get your first orgasm as you walk out of the doctor's clinic, and I MEAN IT!! I read that there is a Dr. Pancholi who performs it in Nairobi for US$ 1,000. The effect lasts about 4 months and couples are talking about it. Don't lose hope. If you get someone who loves and understands you, all will be well.
It depends on what was sliced off. Some circumcised women are more active that those that were not.
I am hot in bed but the only problem is that a circumcised woman can control her urge for sex.
So, they make better wives and are less likely to cheat. That is what some men don't know.
People will only laugh at you for saying you are... I think you were joking. Most women that are not circumcised must look for sex at all costs.
It is a big problem. Some fight for sex. They can 'die' for men with long and wide rods. Oh gosh!
also dont be busy studying the quality of the man u want to spend the rest of ur life with but first,study ur own qaulity and how ready u r to compact ur body,soul and body with a man..Good luck dear.
chilling,with all due respect to you, your pastor is dumb.
Try and change church.
hi Linda,
You don't need to post this. Circumcision is such a barbaric act and i am shocked that you were circumcised.
Yes, it does decrease pleasure for women. That is the whole point of doing it. Back in the day, men didn't want their wives to be promiscous- so they said.
It definitely is not the end of the world. You can still find ways to enjoy sex. You just have to figure it out with your significant other. I also suggest talking to ob/gyn.
BTW, i hope your family has stopped this act? Good luck dear.
lol @ alhaji bringi brigi
Whoa!
Only a Linda Ikeji headline can generate so much comments...Ha!
Linda, I am 38 years old and still single. I lost my virginity at the age of 27 that was because I dreaded sex because of the way I was brought up. As a matter of fact, my first time was more like punishment for my then boyfriend, I ran round the bed many times before we finally got down on it. For a long time, i did not enjoy sex; neither did I know that I was circumcised. Today, maturity, association and news articles have helped me a great deal, I have come to realise that sex is a thing of the mind. I can now sit on a man and drive him for long and equally reach orgasm.
My advice is that you work on your mind first, I said this because my mother used to mark us (her daughters) so closely, to make sure that we never indulged in sex, mentioning it alone in my house then was a taboo and this affected me so much. Secondly, engage in a prolonged foreplay; this worked for me. Take your mind off every other thing and enjoy it.
Furthermore, some people would advice you watch porn movies, but I would say porn movies will put you off like it did to me because what you actually need is to be made love to and not punished. I also think you would enjoy sex if you set out to make your partner enjoy it as well.
Lastly, you don't need a man that is selfish in bed, i.e. a man that just wants you to satisfy his sexual urge.
I wish you good luck.
Haba Linda, which kind topic you bring come here again? You mean say your habuna no dey sweet if they lick becos of circumcision? That na real lie. If you doubt me come make i try am. Any way for per the marriage thing if you go be my second wife cuman i dey ready for you shikena. But if you no gree tou goodluck.
Hi Linda, wow It is the first time i have heard someone come out openly about that subject and i must commend your wisdom and it is very good you choose to enlighten our ignorant women lol..kudos! Knowledge is Power Ladies don't knock it because women who fought for our rights didn't do it by being quiet..People don't know not all women come via penetration and some love more oral, i think you should have more oral before and during sex..If you like spice it up with some toys ;) ..good luck x
My dear linda...i didnt really go through the whole comments but no one on here said anything about a g spot orgasm. Some peeps dont even know what it is n i will educate y'all.
Apart from clitoral orgasm,there is an orgasm called the g spot orgasm. Every woman have a g spot even though some women dont believe this. It is located inside the front wall of the vagina.
If a man hits dis spot,the woman most times squirts - that is cums jst like how men cum. Oh yes a woman can cum dat way as well.
The problem with the g spot orgasm,is that it is sometimes frustrating to locate but it is there.
Curved dicks mostly hit this spot because it is upwards inside d vagina...but when its a straight dick,then some kind of positions can be used to achieve the g spot orgasm.
Linda dear,if u ever have a g spot orgasm,oh dear,u will forever be grateful to the man who helped you achieve it. There are also some curved vibrators that can help a woman get a g spot orgasm.
U can also feel it with your fingers. Its spongy like.
http://www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/g-spot.shtml
Read the above article on that website for more insight.
I hope i was able to help Linda. Take care of you and i must commend your bold attitude bringing this issue up. Alot of women have this problem and choose to ignore it or resign to fate. Just know there's no hope lost.
Muahhhh...luv ya
Linda, na wa 4 u o! The next thing is for you to describe your vjay jay including the labia minora and majora to the world... as you've thrown all caution to the winds!
i applaud you for putting urself out like this, its very commendable but sorry luv i av no advice for u. I hope someone does though
Linda,
This is the second time I am responding to this topic and I am still saying that your claim to have been circumcised and that you don't have a boyfriend is TOO HARD to believe.
African women don't usually come out to say that they were circumcised, or that they were raped, or that they have a veneral disease or STI. They don't even like to publicly admit that they like sex or that they know about sexuntil their lover has an encounter with them in "Old Trafford" or "Stamford Bridge". You are not that audacious to talk about your private life before an unpredictable public blog audience, are you ? C'mon!
Please my dear viewers, advise Linda, but just know that she is opening this discussion on behalf of sb else. Capeesh?!
Hi Linda,
I am a new-B in the medical profession so I think I may be able to help. first of all i need to keep you kudos for saying this on your blog, For a minute there I forgot a Nigerian ran the website.
As per your lack of sexual stimulation, you may need to see a sex therapist (if you can find one in Nigeria), as you know circumcision in woman takes out the EXTERNAL stimulation, meanwhile you do have other points on the inside of you that allows more stimulation. talking to a therapist can help you identify them. You can also find these pple online, type a search in google and you will find them there. One more advise I will give you is to actually pray, talking to God can help you rectify what was taken away from you. I wish I could be a little more explicit but I will keep this very "PG" and scratch the surface. you can email me if you need more assistance... nikksandflikks@yahoo.com. all the best Linda
Sweetie, too much info to share with the world.. And whatever happened to abstaining from sex for religious reasons? (i work with the assumption that you are a Christian woman). I pass no judgment on you but please seek Jesus in ALL of your ways! Something doesn't feel right here..
Linda, your topic is a real and serious topic but to use yourself openly as case study was uncalled for, its all a bit too much info if you ask me. I can't give any advise as i'm from the school of people that are against pre-marital sex obviously for Christian reasons. I suggest you seek help from a doctor and not from your blog readers, we're not sex professionals. My 2cents!
wooooow linda sorry ooo please slap your mom and dad in the face for me. For doing these to you.
find true love... it effect it'll have on you will make you enjoy sex with or without a clit.
Whoa!!! Did i just read that?? You need to have seen the look on my face! Girl, are you for real?? Geez, c'mon now.. I mean no disrespect but i think you are going below the belt and the joke is on you! I don't get what people are duffing hat for, that you just told your biz to the world? Let me ask, how many of them are gonna spill their biz to a bunch of less busy strangers like US (me inclusive) who spend at least 30mins surfing away reading gossip and commenting thrash?! I like you because you fill us in on worthy news here but damn this doesn't cut it! What were you expecting to get out of this post, real advise from "unqualified sex professionals like us"?? Please go to a doctor, and the less you keep this blog about your personal business, the safer it is for you. Be careful of what you let the world know about you, not everyone means you well.
I'm so terribly concerned that half of te comments from this modern age people...mostly women I pressume in 2011, are far more concerned about your sexual status and immortality and such when THE OBVIOUS issue here is female circumcision.
It should be STOPPED. Since you're older, I'm not sure how much it's been practiced but I reckon there are women just like you in the whole of Africa tht are in your position.
I recommend tht you speak to a professional and use your experience and celebrity status (I use tht loosely for lack of a better word) to create an awareness platform. Because just like you, I'm sure those women would have questions. And you have the opportunity to be the voice and educate them.…with the help of professionals, of course.
And as for those who guise themselves under the viel of Christianity to point fingers based on the fact she engages in pee marital sex, slap yourselves. Because the same bible says we shouldn't judge. If you don't agree with it (fine, no problem) you can even say it just not in a condescending way, you musn't point fingers and judge. We should be ambassadors of Christ and not turn people of from him. Stop giving us a bad name.
And Linda, I commend you for speaking up on the issue, I think you really should do your own research and share with the public by creating awareness to the issue of circumcision.
Jay O, you have given D most sensible advise i have read of all the comments here, well done!
Linda did you hear that? Please treat yourself as a jewel and a respectable woman of society. Don't tell us your personal business no matter what (even if you are seeking for help). You may have said all this in a bid to feel closer to your blog readers, but i tell you that it is absolutely unnecessary. Please seek counsel where it should be properly sought, not digitally.
A concerned reader.
Linda,
I feel you. You speak for so many mute but silently frustrated women out here and there. There is no cause for alarm. Female circumcision comes in various forms. If your clitoris was removed, then one of the most sensitive part of your genitalia has been removed. However, that does not mean the end of sexual satisfaction. Every bit of a woman's body can be set on fire (metaphorically). But it all starts with the head. You need a man who craves to satisfy you before himself. Such a man derives immense pleasure in watching you make that "O" face again and again and again. Such a man takes time to come by, and is difficult to own. He is most likely the least 'sexually' attractive man you know. He is right by you if you look closely but not too close. He has to go down in the most unhurried manner and search diligently for those spots. They are usually not more than a pea-size wide, but they are interlinked. If found and licked in simultaneous synchrony, your body will light up like an electronic billboard. Your legs will start to shake like a leaf. You will tremble like a wiff of cotton. And you will come like a shiver. And when you think you have descended the peak, he will reignite that fire, lead you up the next ascent, and show you the summit of Everest. He should be able to do all these with his john still tucked away in his shorts. By the time the bell chimes a third time, it is your eager and voracious hands that will hungrily reach for his boxers, strip him bare and salvage the glorious tool for that unforgettable thrust into your Lindaaaaaaaaaaaa!
You can relive this experience over and over again on a twice weekly basis. Some precautions are necessary. You have to be squeaky clean and well scrubbed prior to starting. Wear no makeup, no body cream and no powders. Just an over-sized slightly torn T-shirt and a thin layer of fresh sweat from the shower. That is guaranteed to draw your man to you and stimulate all your erogenous zones.
Besides your genitalia, the top half of your nipples, the lower lobe of your breast, your upper lip and a spot half way between your navel and your vagina are spots to explore with him. Whatever you do, do not beg, grunt or scream during the process. These and many other indecipherable utterances will come from you and him freely at the right moments and instances. If you need to contact me for more insights on any of these advices, my call sign is Anon 9:37, and I will get back to you.
Look how many comments...
Oh wow!!!!
when you say,find me a man, i hope you mean husband OTHERWISE ITS NOT WORTH IT DEAR
hahahahahahaahahaha.......... going thru all d comments posted here....linda you are in trouble. infact, some people are actually happy to tell us what goes on in their bedroom wit the positions, styles n words de exchange with their partners,visualize them having sex by what de post here.i love nigerians, we make a joke out of every serious situation.i think videos shld b included here also....lolzzzz. pls linda,d next relationship shldnt be 70% al about sex for you. make it 50-50 n like someone mentioned, help ur partner discover you.thats d fact.no do lesbo b4 you get addicted.
I wonder why they used to cut women in those days although some country still practice it but its annoying cos they deprive those kids from having sexual pleasure when they grow up. Sorry my dear. after sex u can use Vibrator to give ur self more satisfaction nuttin wrong in doing that. Good luck
Wow, 260 comments and counting...Linda def play a fast one by using her name on this story...anyway, it showed that Linda is loved by all.....
i saw d topic and i saw 202 comments and i said to myself,never.how am i suppossed to read 202 comments.i just wonder wat pple must av said up there.
i know Linda will do anything to retain d awards for d most read blog and most controversial hence topic like dis.expect more open talks from linda henceforth.circumcise ko,masturmate ni........lol
i meant 'masturbate'
Linda, I love you for this!
Wish I had something more tangible to contribute than that. Sadly I dont think half of the moralising umu ada castigating you here even know if they were circumcised or not. smh
Chilling or wateva ur idiotic name is, don't pour your frustration on me biko. As at the time i typed my comment, dere was no comment here. Besides, i wasn't the only who talked about being the 1st and it's just harmless fun. If you don't want to read the rest of the comments, who cares? Just don't blame it on me biko. . .mtcheew
Linda, i wasn't circumcised but i'm having the exact problem ur having,i think mine is worse cos men disgust me when they attempt to do more than just kissing.....its a real issue now.Not interested in men cos i fear they'll def wanna go down there....one funny thing tho...i'm extremely beautiful and well endowed,no be mouth o.
dont be ashamed to touch yourself and be relaxed.
@ Akwannwa's loverman,well said.i applaud ur style.
Oh My Gosh,
Linda I respect your openness about this topic sooo much, God bless you.
I am sorry that I really don't have much advice as relationships/sex are not my forte but I wish you only the best of luck.
I will like to add though that you should just seek a deep relationship with someone and the sex will follow. Sex is not really that big of deal, as opposed to being in a loving relationship :)
Linda...Linda!
Honestly, I love u!!!!
You dont give a hoot!..u know that that this topic will be as controversial as possible, full of critics, praise and insults....yet u put urself on the line!!
Thats good journalism!..
You will always get my support...circumsized or not!
Love u babes!
From your ardent supporter in London Ontario, Canada
Hello Linda,95 of circumcised women only go through partial clitoridectomy or ercision of the clitoris. The nerve in the clitoris responsible for sexual stimulation goes way farther into the virginal path that only in very extreme cases is it completely mutilated.
Fot these unfortunate 5%, they cannot reach orgasm sexually or orally.
This however seems not to be your case given that you is able to reach orgasm orally.
What you need to understand about sex is that, as much as it is a physical thing, our psychology always plays a role in our thinking and believing ability.
My conclusion
• You are psychologically not at terms with your sexuality. As much as you want to be satisfied, you don’t truly belief you can be satisfied, and guess what ma’am, you won’t be.
Advice
• For you to enjoy sex, you need to be a woman who loves sex and loves to love sex. You need to reach out and grab your orgasm during sex cause only you can drive yourself to that place
• When you are with a guy and waiting to have sex, I mean, that horny period, are you eager for him to discover the woman in you? Are you eager to feel pleasure? Are you eager to teach him how to please you cause that is your priority or are you just eager to get it done and over with?
• Get out of your comfort zone; the more teasing and flirtier you are during foreplay, the easier it is to get there. Let yourself be guided by your desire to get there.
• To do this, it is true you need a loving and patient man, but first of all you need to understand your body.
• Try masturbating; this is the easiest way to discover yourself sexually. If you can’t bring yourself to orgasm, trust me any guy will have a hard time trying.
• During masturbation, drive yourself wild. You have the yam and the knife so cut the pieces just as you desire…..
• Fantasize; it is ok to fantasize during sex. Think of situations that turn you on, if you have a body and face to match it, the better.
• When you are comfortable with your body sexually, then you are ready to share it with a stranger.
• The key to good sex is SELFISHNESS. Concentrate on what turns you on, you don’t have to be dominating or wild or any of that. Just be yourself, but the new you that is ready to grab what she wants.
• Express yourself, let him know what you like, it could be by a simple word or just by a soft moan. Men love to know the effect the have on us; it makes them want to please even further. This however does not include FAKING an orgasm, sure it turns him on, but he will never ever get to really know u sexually.
• You might not get there the first time, it is ok, just tell yourself you are on the right track. Be honest about your experience with your partner. Of course he wants to know he blew you away, girl, pls don’t fake it. It’s ok to say I didn’t get to the top but I it was way better than the last time. Give him an honest compliment without faking him. It makes him feel his efforts are yielding fruits, and any normal man knows it takes time for a fruit to mature and ripe. It at least gives him hope that the fruit will sooner or later be ripe for harvest, and that goes for you too.
I will end here cause it is getting too long. I am no sex specialist but I write from experience. I reached an orgasm for the first time about three years after my first sexual experience, and during that time I was never single for more than a month. Ever since I went on my sex revolution and was bent on discovering why sex with me didn’t feel like the novels I read, my life has never been the same again.
I read lots of books and masturbating also helped a lot. Wishing all the best
Nb I have been reading your blog for about a year and this is my first comment
Your 23 year old reader from Cameroon,
I often hear that most women don't enjoy sex.Why? I cant tell cos I'm a woman too. I wouldn't know if I'm circumcised or not, but I've asked my boyfriend to check before and he said I am not. The disturbing thing for me is why I've never had an orgasm through penetration or oral sex.
Trust me, I enjoy sex.Very well! But I cant just come except when I sleep in a cold room with no stroking whatsoever. It just comes on its own. Sometimes in the middle of the night when am asleep after I've had sex. Sometimes first thing in the morning on my own.
To answer your question-
I think what you need is a big guy, who knows how to penetrate.Who is passionate enough about you and you,about him. Who can lick you up with no restrain.Who turns you on with his words and touch. That's the kind of guy you need, cos trust me I've been there and done all. The best of guys I've had are big and very passionate about who they are dating.
Nne Linda....
It's all about the mind and soul,
it's all about love,
it's all about relaxation,
it's all about intimacy.
When you find that special one, don't expect to enjoy that sex immediately. However, when you spice it with those stuffs that makes him that special one, gradually, you will realize that sex can be for the mind and soul, love, relaxation and intimacy.
I hope you can understand the meaning behind my words
Circumcised? Wow! I thought that was a myth, i have naijagals talking about it but never knew it really happened. Linda you are a bright resourceful entrepreneur I am sure any out there would love your company. What you need to do is to find a caring and loving partner.
I know naijagal is giving advice lol but on the real you could use a support group someone who has gone through what you are going through, you know we started blogging at the same time and I consider you a friend and a great blogger might I add; here are a couple of links that might help for support:
http://www.fgmnetwork.org/index.php
Stay blessed by the way i know someone who knows the American ex footballer chidi A did you guys ever date lol he is a nice guy
NAIJAGAL.COM
LiNDa correct buisness woman ! weather the post is true or not, you just posted this to draw more viewers & comments to raise your blog income!
BHi Linda, I'd agree with the person who suggested a sex therapist but until we have those in nigeria I can only say this;
Enjoying sex first has to do with knowing your body and this applies to every female, circumcised or not. So you need to learn your body and not just your genitals. I'm sure that there are parts of ur body that'll contribute to the overall experience
if only you can find them. Learn your body on your own first.
Secondly sex is as much mental as it is physical. So you need to feel sexy. Your mind needs to be in "the zone"...this is also a part of learning your body. Try to relax and keep your mind off the hang ups u have about sex. Trust me, its a lot easier that way.
And thirdly, pick your partner wisely. You want someone who you can discuss this with and who will understand and be gentle and patient enough to ensure that you enjoy it. Conversation is key.
And finally you need to be patient with yourself. It'll come.
;)
b
Hi Linda, I'd agree with the person who suggested a sex therapist but until we have those in nigeria I can only say this;
Enjoying sex first has to do with knowing your body and this applies to every female, circumcised or not. So you need to learn your body and not just your genitals. I'm sure that there are parts of ur body that'll contribute to the overall experience if only you can find them. Learn your body on your own first.
Secondly sex is as much mental as it is physical. So you need to feel sexy. Your mind needs to be in "the zone"...this is also a part of learning your body. Try to relax and keep your mind off the hang ups u have about sex. Trust me, its a lot easier that way.
And thirdly, pick your partner wisely. You want someone who you can discuss this with and who will understand and be gentle and patient enough to ensure that you enjoy it. Conversation is key.
And finally you need to be patient with yourself. It'll come.
;)
my dear, see a doctor. he should be in the best position to help you.
Linda u did it again. I tot i told u not 2 do dis again. I can see i've lost u on dat and so i give up. U now have my permission to spill when ever n how ever u like. Linda sex isn't everytin in a relationship. Anoda tin is, u can never have it all. If a guy loves u,respects u, understands u and u truly love him back,then u have 2 compromise on the sex tin. Ur question is how do u enjoy sex considering ur condition. My sister i'm clueless. I guess u can't. U just have 2 accept it as one of those tins u just can never have. Since u were circumcised, i guess ur oda sistas were too but i don't hear them whining and complaining. At least i know one of ur sis is married and living happily with her husband, and i guess the rest are in one healthy relationship or the oda, but u'er here talking senseless. Look here young lady, U beta stop the nonsense n start sometin serious dat'll lead 2 d alter.
I still like n respect u more dan u can ever imagine cos u'er too much. Much respect. Peace.
I sympathize with you on your plight. However, be informed that circumcision circumcision does not in any way affect your ability to have a great bang. With a little cooperation from you and a man who understand women and knows their make-up, you will have an experience that you least imagine. Keep searching. I hope you find the right man someday.
I Think you have to erased the circumcision from your memory first.SEX,Is 70percent mental process and the 30percent is physical.If you are not into it mentally or better put,mentally ready,there is NO WAY You could ever enjoy it.I'll advice you to be careful when choosing your man,because whatever you experience with any man now will definitely add up to your sexual experience,it could be Positive or Negative.Most Importantly again,PREPARED yourself mentally,circumcision is not good,but i dont think it's anything to do with enjoying SEX Or Not....PEACE.
i'm glad that you wrote about this. i'm sick of nigerians pretending that they don't have sex. WTF is TMI about this? people need to speak up against female genital mutilation. i've seen videos about it and it is such a barbaric act. another thing, this practice is illegal in Nigeria, why did your parents see it fit to circumcise you in this 21st century?!
i do think that you need to see a sex therapist or a gyn.
Hello Linda,
Don't you for 1 minute feel bad about opening up to the public for advice, you're a real woman. Like in the Bible ask and you shall receive, so shall you find what you're looking for.
And about the sex part, I don't think being Circumcised have anything to do with performance in bed, you just haven't found that person, who drives you to let loose feeling like a real woman.
But you'll, just STOP searching. You're too beautiful.
And just so you know, we all love u.
By the way My brother is single, he needs a real woman like you. he nor get money o but he go show you real LOVE and passion like you like...lol
Good luck in all Linda.
God Bless.
If you can afford surgery, that's the way to go. Sometimes, nerves can be re-routed down there.
Best of luck!
First and foremost, For all of you that are critical because Linda put this up; because you don't understand what the next person is going through does not make their feelings unimportant or meaningless and no, it doesn't make them foolish or less than you.
@Linda,one thing i have learned on all my years is that you can talk to people about your issues all you want, the best anyone can do is ease their curiosity, some may even sincerely sympathize,Most would tease you and make themselves feel better about their own issues and even thank God they aren't you and all this still without any final solution. Truly speaking, until you talk to God, the only one you can that you're sure will not judge you and will be patient enough to listen to all you want to say, a solution is not guaranteed.
I am praying for you, it's all i can really do.
Xoxo
a little somethin 4 u...
Daddy's home...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pD8mxge6kek
For all of you that are complaining that Linda is too bold...go and jump in a lack. Seriously. You people complain about her boldness, but yet return again and again to read her blog. Have you all ever stopped to think that her boldness is what makes her blog popular?
lol. Linda, ur readers r funny.
I am just surprised that some pple do not know that circumcision goes on in NIgeria :(
I wasn't put thru such an ordeal, but thank you for being explicit.
And yes, some of ur readers will say hurtful things, but just forget them.
I dont think it's about the circumcision. i wasn't circumcised, yet, never enjoyed sex, never got anything out of it for quite some years, till i met someone that taught me, literally. So i think it depends on the chemistry between you and the person, the level of comfort you have with your body(confidence),mindset,discovering your g-spot, etc. Why do you have sex anyway? why not wait till wedding night? If i could change anything about me, thats what i shall change!
I will make you come 4 times before i jerk-off.if you are interested contact me.sexmachine@gmail.com
LINDA I FUCKING LOVE YOU MEN!!!!!!!!
These comments are so enormous... Can't even see d end of dem...
Anyways...
Madam,
Circumcized or not circumsized ooo...
Enjoying good sex depends on ao well ur partner understands ur 'pleasure level'.
U guys really need to know dat love-making isn't just abt pushin'in and out... There needs to be some element of satisfaction... and it all boils down to knowing where and ao u feel pleased.
If u and ur partner can get this right, den ur love-life will be blissful...
BUT...
Some guys no sabi dese things sha o...
And based on ur 'upbringing'... U go need sample some guys 1st to know who sabi and who no sabi...
God fit help u sha, make e be say na d 1st guy go click...
Best wishes.
Get the rabbit hunnie...ul b on cloud 9
I waited until I was married before I started having sex and to say the truth the first few months was really exciting. I had orgasms very often and even before my husband. But after a while I think I got to use to it and lets just a say the only thing that turns me on is when my husband really makes me feel loved or when he says nice things to me when we are doing it. My point is that you really need to find someone who excites you before you get to the bedroom. I dont know much about circumcision, but I think it is much better when you guys love each other even if you cant come. it is worth it to know that you make your parther happy. Even if you are not as happy as him at that point in time at least he will make it up to you someother way. Its not all about SEX.
Circumcised or not, so long as you have a guy who knows what he is doing, then you will find yourself in heaven and back in just on round of......... A lot of our men are inexperience and some are not just adventurous enough and some are just simply selfish not minding the fact that the other party involved enjoys it or not........A man like the man I have gladly does it for me any day. I have never want to be with any other person since I started hooking up with him last year as he gives all the pleasure most girls will only dream of.
Long and short of it, get a guy who is willing to please and he'd take you there and back a million times even before full penetration which actually makes you want him the more.........
you just one comedian!I actually came on this blogg to check up stories on a friend Moturayo,to just find this story to crack me up!Alot I wnt to say,I would still love to remain anonymous! Truth is It has nothing to do with the cut off piece.Sex is an art.nd it is not a naturall one you need to acquire it.Thats the ignorance we have been talking about! men read more,learn more change the globe. MGK!
wow i didn't know so many women were circumcised in Nigeria, I thought it was in East Africa. Well sha you definitely learn something new everyday, thanks for this lil bit of education. But Good for you , for opening up because I'm sure this will help alot of others in the same situation and you have gained alot of respect from many people all over the world today, me being in the U.S as an example. However from your description I don't think your circumcision is the big issue of why you don't get aroused, because I know many uncircumcised women have the same issue. It honestly comes down to finding the right man, and when you do you both we'll definitely go on a journey to learning about each other and how to please each other as partners. I think that you shouldn't worry about being circumcised or uncircumcised, you should just worry about right now finding the right man who you will love dearly and of course him the same and someone that you would be fully open to sharing your body with. Its then that you will be able to explore your own body and learn more and more about yourself, because with women arousal its all in the head and more of imagination if you get me, while men are more visual. So its very common for women to not get aroused, you have to meet that special person who makes you break boundaries and heighten yourself spiritually physically and mentally.
oh and one last thing! penetration from a penis has nothing to do with a clitoris , so you have the same problem that many women complain of which is never being aroused from vaginal sex and only reaching an orgasm through oral sex. So like i said before its all about finding the right man and starting that journey with him. and i'll pray for you to find a perfect man who will love and cherish you. btw i love youu linda and you're the besttttt! MUAHHH!
the era of not having cooooool sex cuz of circumcision is over. i am in the healthcare industry and here in the US, they have a lot of sensational products that puts you in the mood even the most depressed numb cunt. so be happy for research.
..crazy chick Linda:)
(said with love)
Linda, what you need is a real man. There are several ways to approach this. A woman enjoying sex is a function of who her partner is. Now remember that the size of dick has little or no role to play in this, though the bigger the better wink!
As a honorary professor of sexology, and having slept with over 300 ladies (various nationalities, french, east africa and central europe giving the best responses)as a practical analysis used in preparing my thesis, i think i know the solution to your problem. Please respond to my blog and we can take it from there.
Lindaaa I want to be like U when I grow up lol But seriously U are d Best of them all!For all those talking about TMI dats wat blogging is about!its about Expressing oneself. Enough rant jare! Linda just like U I was circumcised and hav d same problem even though am married. I want to say a Very big THANK U to u cos I have learnt a lot.I now kno who to start addressing d issue. God Bless U and may he give u d desires of ur heart!
Akwanwa lover U are the best! Linda for ur information u are the most beautuful girl I hav ever seen!
NICE TRY IKEJI,i find it hard to believe what you're saying my Dear...
Don't know why am posting a comment just feel the nees to... So here i go and i hope this makea sense to u or those other ladies who have found themselves in such i situation. I think first that u need to leg go of the feelings and hurt that the circumcission has caused to move on. You enjoy intimacy and the tongue at work? Yes. Focus on that, sex in most ways is in the mind that's why if u don't like someone most oft you won't have intimate dealings with them. When you find the guy, i pray he's into you and you both cliq, let do sensual things to you. From massages, to soapy baths, touching you where you like then let your mind fill in the gaps... You might find something new happening. From a guy who's been circumcised twice... :) ciao!
Smart, courageous, confident.. and most importantly get the people talking about those things we usually don't discuss openly.
... Would love to talk things with you over a glass of good red wine. Would be awesome. Lovely week girl.
Linda, after reading this caption on ur blog I can't bt drop something bt b4 dn i av a confession to make, I'v been an ardent reader of ur blog bt I only read, I don't contribute as in a day cannot pass wtout me checkkg ur blog.
Linda, u ain't d only one in ds MESS, @times, I feel lyk sueing my mum to av done ds to me, honestly I thnk anybody dt was born in d late 70s/early 80s dt wasn't circumcised shld thank their stars.
When people describe how they feel as in d ORGASM thing, I can't bt envy dn cuz I never felt dt way in my life for over 10years of my sexual xperience. This made me to do a lot of research on circumcision, @times I wonder whether the clitoris is even dr in my own case. You hear peeps talking abt clitoris stimulation rather that penetration as the main thing, is it nt when clitoris is dr u av smthg to be stimulated?
I think Funmi of punch shld be a good person to contact, trust me na, I av sent several mails to her on ds matter bt I don't get to read her saturday punch all d time bt she claimed to av answered it on one of her editions, in case u get in touch with her and she profers a solution, do lemme know. Because I haven't seen any tangible help from all your readers, u know we could be so hypocritical in ds part of d world, yl some are nt really experienced indeed.
So please lemme knw in case u av a solution, tho' i av resolved to lemme jst enjoy life d way it comes i av acceptted to fate lyk dt since it seems dr's nobody dt has solution to ds predicament. And I will fight wt ma last blood anybody dt talks abt circumcision to my children (female.
Once again I really commend ur bravity, thumb up!!!
Buki
lest i get uncertain ed, i have therefore not bother to read other comments. i will say you have not really met the guy that has it.Not only in size, length, height but the sensations that are meant for you.
Now that you are prepared to fell like a woman again i recommend you call 08056182038 then the discussion will continue. you will sooooo like it. its a promise that fails not
i have written the above with all seriousness.
For those quoting bible passage here abeg make i rest. linda is only asking a general question most women would not have the nerves to ask.
If linda posted this on an American magazine or social networking site, I am sure the respond would have been very amazing to read.(it only in nigeria that people would be preaching like they are holier than thou and trust me you really don't want to see the skeleton in their closet)
you see I am still a virgin but I believe i have alot to learn in satifing myself and my partner in bed. That said reading post like linda's blog give me the exposure to understand possible positions and technics to use when I am finally ready to give up my virginity for the right man.
So their readers please if you don't have nothing interesting to say please shut up!!!!
visit www.sextalkissuesandadvice.blogspot.com
shes on yor blogroll Linda meet that girl she advised me before and it worked!
Errr, Linda. I really am confused. You say you 'enjoy tongues' but also confess that 'you have nothing there'. How can you enjoy tongues - or to give it it's proper name, cunnilingus, where you have nothing with which to receive these sensations? And what kind of circumcision did you have performed? I guess as a journalist I NEED to have all the facts before I can say anything. I hope you don't mind.
Secondly, your circumcised friends saying they enjoy sex less than other women who weren't circumcised - that's bollocks. Unless you have a friend who got circumcised as an adult AFTER having an active sex life, there is NO WAY to tell as I'm sure, as with all things, it varies for individuals.
I would really like to help but I feel I must know more before I do. I hope this helps.
i have answers to your questions here Linda
www.sextalkissuesandadvice.blogspot.com
and the award for the post with the most comments goes to....
Just reminded me of me way back.. to overcome it, i always take red wine when i want to have sex and trust me.... i always get a crazy and sweet experience....
But now, is a different game cos am maried to my soul mate and so dont need any drink at all to reach orgasm..
You are getting some good reviews. I just came across this today on-line through a site called amebor.com. The writer said, you can call him and winks LOL, those people are hilarious though. :D http://amebor.com/enjoy-penetrative/
Linda, really I thought you were joking when I first read this. I am still trying to come to terms with it. Unbelievable! You were circumcised. I went back to a previous post you did in 2007 about FGM and there you had mentioned that you and all 5 OF YOUR SISTERS WERE CIRCUMCISED! OMG! I know you said you cant hate your parents, and that is understandable and I would think that,someone as.. OK, let me put it this way.... You seem to be very exposed and well educated. What environment did you grow up in and did both of your parents consent to this? If all six of you were circumcised then I reckon your parents were in support of the practice?? My mind is just blown away, please excuse me. All 6 of you girls were circumcised. Wow.WOW.
Linda, please myself and other blog readers will really appreciate it if you did a blog post about what your childhood was like especially in relation to your parents and the circumcision practice. What part of Nigeria did you grow up and for how long did you live there? How do your sisters feel about what has been done to them now? How are they dealing with it? Are they angry, bitter, indifferent?
Your story just blew me away. I really thought you were joking...I read all 300 and something comments before it finally sunk in that it could be true. Sorry for your loss.
About enjoying sex...I wish I could give advise but it will depend on how much tissue was cut and where. I think emotional connection is important for every woman, but for you it may be even more so.The man has to be a friend first, someone you trust and can open up to completely. As previous readers have said, sex is very mental and you must let go of all inhibitions in order to fully embrace it. I am still like a deer in headlights... sorry once again.
Linda it is so heart touching that you are today victim of a culture and tradition that you never iniatiated or bargain for. You story reflects the plights of numerous African women who are dying daily with the fact that don't feel the way other women fell. But I have a word for you. Every experience is based on the perception of the mind.Positivize your mind and you get the right feeling. Untill you move away from your past the future will ever remain bleak. The erro of which can not be corrected today should not stop our journey tomorrow. Restructure your mind about your predicatment.
Princewill.
Until u c the health and psychological effects that circumcised women pass thro, u wont begin to appreciate the ills. Daily, women are still being made to pass thro that disaster. The painful part is that the instruments are not sterilised and it occurs as tradition in many parts of Nigeria and Africa.
That said, there few tgs that is advised in health settings
1. Reconstructive surgery - it might get everytg out, strongly depends on the type of Gential mutilation. There is type I, II, III and IV. (Funny, they are ll done in a bid to tighten the vagina for men during peneteration)
2. Sex therapy - Which will include mostly include how sex 4 u shld be abt sacrifice. Giving ur partner and necessary what you get back bc ur clitoris - the peak of womanhood in the least case of FGM has been cut off.
3. You can also manage till you are giving birth, then it ll have to be torn to allow for passage of baby.
By and large, what FGM women need is understanding. And moreso from men, to ensure that it is stopped.
***In some parts of Naija, they even send their children down from US n UK to hv d tradition performed on them
Female circumcision does not reduce sexual activity
Circumcised women experience sexual arousal and orgasm as frequently as uncircumcised women, according to a study in Nigeria.
The researchers also found no difference in the frequency of intercourse or age of first sexual experience between the two groups of women. These findings remove key arguments used to defend the practice, they say. read more @ www.circumstitions.com/FGM-sex.html
I feel You,becos i'm also like you.i am married with three boys and has never enjoyed sex with my husband. however,i tend to enjoy it when i think abt my first love being on me.
Am late here and can't even read all 300 n sumthg comments.
But I can offer a piece of advice.
Circumcision is cutting of d clits which wen rubbed gives u a sexy sensation.
But since u still have ur G-spot on, I bliv u need a guy who can hit d nail rite.
U may not get sexually aroused at times but u can still enjoy sex anytime u have it if and only if the guy can find ur G-spot. D mind also plays and important role in this case so be totally open and allow him to do his thing. I wud advice he fingers u more often. And don't 4get to foreplay
, its important.
I was writing a book on 'gettin ladies cum' in 2008 but dropped it. Maybe I will pick it up again as ur case as inspired me.
By the way, u are bold!!!
an offer a piece of advice.
Circumcision is cutting of d clits which wen rubbed gives u a sexy sensation.
But since u still have ur G-spot on, I bliv u need a guy who can hit d nail rite.
U may not get sexually aroused at times but u can still enjoy sex anytime u have it if and only if the guy can find ur G-spot. D mind also plays and important role in this case so be totally open and allow him to do his thing. I wud advice he fingers u more often. And don't 4get to foreplay, its important.
I was writing a book on 'gettin ladies cum' in 2008 but dropped it. Maybe I will pick it up again as ur case as inspired me.
By the way, u are bold!!!
Linda, it depends on your possition, I am also circumcised, but I enjoy sex a lot, but mind you; my clit is intact, circumcision does not cut clit. I will advise you to practice crab position and you will not be the same.
@ anabel, Godbless u. u just voiced my opinion. Linda don't get carried away by those saying they admire ur courage, u seem to have forgotten that this na naija...this is too much info o...u be woman na, some things r best unsaid. hmmmmn, i pray u get a guy soon, but trust me no man wants her ladys mattas public, u don over yarn for this one, true to God.
ok... I just started having sex and i realised something very important.
when i maturbate i enjoy the pleasures i give myself considerably more than when i have sex. So this is what i decided to do.Touch my clitoris while my boyfriend penetrated into me and i channelled my thoughts to what made me very horny and that worked perfectly. it was orgasmic. maybe u could try that and see what happens.
Do not let your circumsition get in the way. try not to think about it during sex and ask him to take his time. As women this aspect of our life is extremely important.
i wish you the very best of luck
x
linda y ddnt u post ma comment na. ds is nt a good way of welcoming me as a commentator on ur blog oh. buki
We have heard a lot about female genital mutilation and as a matter of fact have a lot of people around us who could be our sisters, friends, acquaintances, mothers, aunts or bosses who have been put through this very cruel and barbaric act and are going through what Linda is passing through.
I am very impressed with and proud of you, Linda for being so bold and outspoken about your own experience. I come from a culture where circumcision is not done even for as long as I know because I once asked my grandma who passed this year at the age of 103 if we practice female circumcision and all she told me “NO”. I have also asked a close aunt who told me we don’t practice it. The reason why I asked them was because I was naïve and had started having sex but was not getting the feeling I thought I should get as per no orgasm (considering what I have been reading) so I thought I was circumcised. Little did I know that it was because I did not understand my body and was shy of going all out when having sex to get the pleasure I ought to get. I have since understood my body and as a matter of fact very comfortable with my body and know where and what to do get an orgasm during sex. Then again, our men are so impatient. They more often than not are always in a hurry to be inside a woman and forget that foreplay is very important. I tell my man to do what I want done to me. We both are comfortable with each other and I always make sure that hygiene wise, we are in top form. And now, sex is just very beautiful!
Linda, I think a lot of women have written stories about their horrible experience with sex after having their genitals mutilated. Have you read or watched “The Desert Flower” by Waris Dirie? I think you should read the book. I know I read about a Somali woman who had to go under the knife to correct the harm done during circumcision in order to enjoy sex with her husband. I also have a friend who is circumcised and is open about it as well show me what a circumcised Vagina look like. Luckily, my friends and I talk to each other about sex so it made it easy for our circumcised friend to come out of having sex without orgasm, though she said it takes almost forever for her to get one. Also try and have a good understanding of your body!
I am surprised that people are leaving all sorts of comments on this very serious issue probably because they feel you should have stayed silent about it. People I am sure if we can help by advising our sister on how to come out her dilemma. Thank you.
wow.....linda lucky u
ve never seen a long coment like dis on any of ur story...LOL
Thumb up ppl...
well am not circumcised but i dont enjoy sex, ve bn wit my BF for over 3yrs and believe me am always fake it just to make him feel bera bcos ve complain over n over n i dt want to be pain in d arse...
my friend advised me to be warching porn dat is gona help me so am gona enback on dat to see if is gona help me....LOL
ok people ur suggestions are okay! how do u expect linda to be ble to read all these comments? 388 and counting!! e don do abeg!
It's funny how 90% of the commentators think this is actually linda's plight...'re we really this gullible? Sensitive & interesting topic anyways. 91ce one linda :)
come to me, all ye that are tired and i will give u rest.....come to me...send out e-mail. efashionnigeria@hotmail.com
your problrm is more in your head than it is physical... Though some of the practices our fore-parents passed on to us are not completely acceptable today, but you must agree they had their reasons for it and I dont believe it was meant to be a form of deprivation. I tend to liken being circumcised to maybe loosing your eyesight - given time you will discover that your senses of hearing, smell, touch, etc are much more efficient than those with eyes. So my advice, let yourself go...and you'll discover that there is much more to the female sexuality than a jutting portion of skin between your thighs
Linda Love, Av been searching for real, down2earth gurl like u. U r courageous, beautiful and honest. I did love to meet you one on one. Dont worry about the circ stuff, i knw how to get u there. U truly, deserve the best orga-sm any woman can get and i promise to give you that in abundant.
My dear find a way to enjoy it... some people commenting don't enjoy it either but they shut their mouth and comment lies or have been acting all their life... you are expressive and i like. BIG UPS GIRL... Just get to know your body and do those thing that get you all HOT. My sincere advice
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jul/22/female-genital-mutilation-laws-families?CMP=twt_gu
i am a medical doctor and i know about female circumcision reading seeing it first hand.There are medical procedures for reconstruction especially if scar tissue are present although that solves only part of the problem. You should also know that child bearing esp in very badly done circumcision is difficult.My best advise is to see a gynaecologist and a sex therapist ASAP.Circum should be abolished inNigeria.It still occurs now
... At the end of the day i love and respect linda more than ever for this, Nigerians love the holier than thou scene yet behind closed doors are the freakiest and most promiscuous of all humans(dont believe me ask your parents or siblings) Female Circumcision is mutilation you might as well cut off a mans penis to know how it feels. Linda now men know your available and you will find love, there are other parts of the body you can get sensation.... Neck, ears, nipples, the back side ;) lol , Life is short dnt waste it trying to be what strangers expect you to be,
LINDA, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I ADMIRE AND RESPECT YOU. FROM DAY ONE, I CAME ACROSS THIS BLOG, I WAS DRAWN TO YOU.
YOUR COURAGE, AUTHENCITY, HONESTY, INNER STRENGTH, VULNERABILITY, REALNESS, IMPERFECTIONS, JUST BEING YOURSELF IS SPECIAL.
Okay, when it comes to things like this, there's no specific answer because there are so many factor as to why certain things happen especially when it comes to our bodies. Even sometimes, trained professionals in the medical field don't have the answer. There are women who are not circumcised, and have this problem, and there are women who are circumcised who don't have the problem.
The nerves down there is very sensitive, and sometimes very stiff, which can cause some pain,
let alone penetration. I've read about women who have similar problems, who go to the extreme to solve it. I once read about a woman who did some type of injection or was it botox(don't specifically remember) but a process to loosen up the muscles/nerves down there.
First, I hope you meet a man who will be very understanding, and will be patient to take it easy and be willing to work around it, while you both are still sexually satisfied.
Second, it can also be some type of emotional/psychological thing going on here. Sometimes, when you are raised in a very strict religuous environment, it leaves this subconscious perspective about sex.
Third, I'm sure that the circumcision did have some side effect. So, go visit a good gynecologist who knows his/her job.
Fourth, try some simple things like lubrication, massaging down there, with the help of your partner, maybe that will make some difference.
lastly, you are not alone. Infact, the truth is, sex is pleasurable but not all women have to enjoy penetration. Some, it might just be oral sex, anal sex, some four play, some kissing, cuddling will be what will send them to cloud 9. So, its different for different women. Also, sex is not the only thing that completes a marriage. Sex is important but there are other things that are major, that sex is secondary.
P.S countries still practicing such atrocity should be banned and punished. Its INHUMANE AND IRRELEVANT.
Linda..that's some sick liver you borrowed to write this stuff. Sorry I'm late, but I admire your honesty and personality....RARE!
hi gal sex is all in your brain. well its simple get to know you body well ,know your sensitive body parts well and next when dating let him know that some area were cut off and if willing the guy will accept you . before the actual game have enough fore play to make sure you are ready for the game.let him know the parts that make you high when touched(caressing) .remember communication is the pillar to this and never be shy to share it out at length with your man orgasm is there circumcised or not enjoy it gal i do enjoy sex even if i was .............
Thank you for sharing your info. I truly appreciate
your efforts and I am waiting for your further write ups thanks once
again.
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That's not nice! Keep ya big mouth to urself! The poor is just asking for suggestions!
Look between yr vig u will see a hole in the pink area om the top of yr entrance play with yr finger and u wil not only cum but might squak
I am so much disturbed that's why i have to give comment on this, well i am a man leaving with a woman dat is facing what u post, well pls if u'av find a solution on it pls flash or call me on 07037199322. let me work on it. many yrs nw, my wife cannot even look at me or kick me dat she need sex, infact y
Hello I am work as a social media marketing and data entry operator on Fiverr.
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Sorry
Its well...
good news for circumised women. there is this thin called G spot in your virgina. he put his finger face it upward and finger the woman. it will take you to cloud nine. i am a leaving witness.
Her clitoris is cut off read what she said or look it up
Linda, female circumcision is a joyous tradition and you should always be grateful to your parents for allowing you to experience it.
There are different techniques for the procedure but in Nigeria the most popular is simply the removal of the clitoris. This is the part that could have developed into a penis had you been born a male.
Without this part, you are unlikely to experience orgasms, but you can still enjoy sex. Instead of having your man use his tongue or fingers on the area where the clitoris once was, which will only cause you frustration, instead have him spend a lot of time kissing passionately with you and caressing your breasts and thighs. This will arouse you and make you ready for the penis to enter you. Then have him make love to you on top and ask him to pump away as hard and as deeply as possible, so you get the maximum pleasure from natural intercourse.
:D its my time to reply!
did you still have sex Linda? did you enjoy it better?
:D
I guess dis is late but i still wanna comment nd hopefully linda sees dis... Deres a surgery called reverse fgm nd it could b helpful linda u should probably read up on it nd no how it works... I m saving up to do mine we cud do it togeda u no... Goodluck
It's pple like u that makes thinks difficult for others. Do you know how many women out there that are going through what she's going through but can speak out but need answers? She is a gate way for those women. She put her shit out there so not only her but other women in the same situation could benefit. I once heard a saying ' if u have nothing nice to say just close ur mouth'.
Thanks
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