I've been married for seven months and I feel I am more married to my mother-in-law than my husband. She is relentless with her criticism and constantly questions everything I do. She doesn't live with my husband and I (she lives in the main building) but she has a key to our house and lets herself in all the time. Her attitude is beginning to affect my health. Help!
Linda says...people will treat you the way you let them treat you.
Please share your thoughts
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13 comments:
give her a Poison apple or put Agbo jedi jedi in her food she will never come to your house again!!!
nonesense...........wetin dey bring that kain shit?i will change the locks to the house and she wont have a key.what rubbish.why would u even agree to live in the same compound with her?i rather be in a 1 bedroom apartment far away from my mother-inlaw than live with her.i no dey take nonesense oooooooooo.
oya,she should share the days she will be sleeping with him as well.RUBBISH.babes,better buckle your belt and face this shit heads on.tell ur husband bcos it in hiss hands.u cant continue to die in silence.CRAP
linda if u like no publish am oooo i go fight u
give them a break.your husband and his mother
Look, let us analyse your problem a little bit.
For your mother-in-law to be living in the main building could mean that she is harbouring you and your husband.
Why not get a room and parlour five states away from her so that you can have peace?
It all boils down to poverty. If your husband had enough money you would not have to live with her.
Be very careful. No matter what she says to you, do not reply or hiss. Instead, plan how to free yourself from 'bondage'.
@anon 6:15-gbam! u don talk am finish.
Have a sincere heart to heart talk with your husband
Have a sincere heart to heart talk with your husband
From today until 3055 in the history of this world, that is his mother so tread very carefully with your response to this situation. You will catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, you will NEVER win a battle against the mother but you can manipulate things to your advantage with your husband with a a smile on your face and honey on your tongue! Never bad mouth mama to your husband but you know your man, and therefore you should know where to stroke in order to get the right response.
Like everyone has said, you are obviously living in her compound so that has already lowered your status, and that of your husband so as per there cannot be two captain on a ship, you go bow. If you no wan bow then have a serious discussion with your husband:
1. set a time frame for moving out
2. set about saving your money
3. begin to look for a place of your own whether na studio or one bedroom, at least it will be your own!
Do not tell her that you all are planning on moving, tell her AFTER you've found a place and possibly only a few days before the move.
If you don't want her coming in and out of your house, I say you tell her you've lost the keys so you had to change the lock, period. If she ask for a copy, respectfully tell her that you don't want to bother her with keeping eye out on the property but you appreciate her concern.
I concur with anon. @ 6:15. But to young people like me, guys should take their time to become a man before becoming a husband/father- the demand is more than lying between the thighs of a woman; as part of preparations to getting married is getting a place (accommodation) to yourself no matter how big the parent's compound might be. I can't fathom why & how come the woman has spare keys to their apartment..what for?
In-laws should also respect themselves for their son/daughter in-laws to accord them the due respect. The present day live is quite different from what they lived.
The couple should just find a way out of the situation without calling for the wrath of the old woman. God help them.
Caution is the word girl. Take the important step of getting yourselves an apartment. Trust me living under her nose is a terrible idea.
Meanwhile just talk with your husband about the situation. Don't make rude remarks but do make your point. His mum shouldn't interfere so much in your lives. It isn't good for your young family.
And yes sweetheart change the keys. The fact that she has a key to your apartment just freaks me out.
before i start, i want to say that THIS SHOULD BE A LESSON TO GIRLS. IF YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED TO A GUY MAKE SURE, YOU ARE SURE THAT HE IS NOT A MAMA'S BOY OR TIED TO THE LOINS OF HIS MOTHER BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO FIGHT CONSTANTLY FOR A PLACE IN HIS HEART.
now, for this lady already in this situation. its kinda hard but the truth is YOU HAVE GOT TO TAKE A BREAK. leave the house, don't tell your husband. make sure the kids are on holiday. take the kids too. since the woman leaves with you. this should be calculated. take some of the stuffs you and the kids need and just go to a place where you know both he and his family/mother can't find you. you can even choose to not tell your family. just tell a friend you don't think he knows about.
i'm not telling you to leave your husband. i'm just telling you to take a break. you need this for you and your children. don't be worried it won't work. trust me, it will. it has been observed that ABSENCE TO INCREASE YOUR IMPORTANCE. spend like two-three weeks. (we don't want him to grow out of you)
make sure that he actually misses you and wants you back by all means.
when he becomes desperate, then you strike and lay down the law. no interference from his mother and he needs his own place where his mother doesn't own a key.
trust me, she'd hate you but definitely respect you and not come near your family again.
always remember; THERE'S A REASON WHY HE MARRIED YOU, SO EXPLOIT THAT.
before i start, i want to say that THIS SHOULD BE A LESSON TO GIRLS. IF YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED TO A GUY MAKE SURE, YOU ARE SURE THAT HE IS NOT A MAMA'S BOY OR TIED TO THE LOINS OF HIS MOTHER BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO FIGHT CONSTANTLY FOR A PLACE IN HIS HEART.
now, for this lady already in this situation. its kinda hard but the truth is YOU HAVE GOT TO TAKE A BREAK. leave the house, don't tell your husband. make sure the kids are on holiday. take the kids too. since the woman leaves with you. this should be calculated. take some of the stuffs you and the kids need and just go to a place where you know both he and his family/mother can't find you. you can even choose to not tell your family. just tell a friend you don't think he knows about.
i'm not telling you to leave your husband. i'm just telling you to take a break. you need this for you and your children. don't be worried it won't work. trust me, it will. it has been observed that ABSENCE TO INCREASE YOUR IMPORTANCE. spend like two-three weeks. (we don't want him to grow out of you)
make sure that he actually misses you and wants you back by all means.
when he becomes desperate, then you strike and lay down the law. no interference from his mother and he needs his own place where his mother doesn't own a key.
trust me, she'd hate you but definitely respect you and not come near your family again.
always remember; THERE'S A REASON WHY HE MARRIED YOU, SO EXPLOIT THAT.
Skank you're so right, most people see these signs before marriage and still put head. A real man should know not to put his wife in this kind of situation, safe guard her and get your own home even if its a 'matchbox'apartment, at least peace is guaranteed.
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