So here's her story.
She has a twin sister who she says was her best friend. They were inseparable growing up and also into their adulthood. They did virtually everything together. Emphasis on 'Everything' (Her words). Then her sister met someone last year and married him early this year and since then everything has changed between them. Her twin is never around anymore, she basically has her own life now and she feels her twin doesn't include her in it. She was her sister's best friend and confidant, now her sister has turned to her husband for all of that.
In July, she found out that her sister had changed all her documents and made her husband 'next of kin'. A position she used to hold.
Now she's very resentful and can't seem to come to terms with the fact that someone else is more important to her sister than herself. After 28 years as best friends, how could she turn her back on me for a man she's only known for less than two years? Her words...
She said she didn't initially mind her sister getting married, but she just never knew that marriage changed people so drastically. She now only gets an occasional call where before her sister couldn't go 'an hour' without calling her if they weren't together. She didn't even tell me she was pregnant, I had to hear that from our mum. Her words also
So she's very resentful of her sister and her husband and is looking for how to get over the anger and hatred she's beginning to feel for her sister. She feels abandoned and doesn't know how to deal with it. And yes she's single.
When I read the first mail many weeks back, she sounded to me like a jealous sister who couldn't deal with the fact that her sister could actually bond with someone else. But her second mail sounded different. More like someone who was on the verge of loosing something so important, that would destroy her if she did.
Really I have no words for her, I'm hoping someone out there does. So please see if you can help her deal with her situation.
But generally speaking, who should be top priority for us. A sister we grew up with or the husband we will spend the rest of our lives with?
***
Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol
Dan Brown's latest book,The Lost Symbol, is a mystery, set in Washington, D.C and takes place over a period of 12 hours in with a focus on Freemasonry.
It's the third book to involve the character of Harvard University symbologist Robert Langdon, after 2000's Angels & Demons and 2003's The Da Vinci Code. On its first day the book sold one million in hardcover and e-book versions in the U.S., the U.K. and Canada.
The hero, a Waspy university professor (Langdon), dabbles in topics more exotic than Elizabethan poetry, and that makes him a target of some bad guy(s).
Langdon spends a lot of time in historic buildings, and the reader learns many, many facts about them. He also confronts a series of codes and riddles. At times, he doesn't know whom to trust. And he faces dangerous situations that threaten his life.
I hear like previous books, this one is a must read!!!
Cheerio!
11 comments:
I understand her position, but that does not make her to be right.
Has she not read (i.e. if she is a Xtian) that a man (woman) shall leave father and mother (and siblings), and shall cleave to his wife (husband): and the two shall be one flesh?. Wherefore they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Linda, if she has not, please TOLD her
Just to encourage the sister who feels abandoned, don't worry your sister's heart is BIG enough to love both of you. She can't love you both in the same way, it's not that she loves her husband more just in a different way. She made a vow before God to always put her husband first so expect that he will be her confidant, her best friend, the father of her children e.t.c. He is her partner for life, it's not about her choosing him over you. As for her not telling you she was pregnant, don't worry about it too much, I hope she is not sensing some resentment coming from you, be careful that a wedge does not come between you two. Sisterhood is great.
I don't have a twin sister and can't say I totally understand the bond but when my sister got married, it was not an immeadiate adjustment but we made it. I love my sister, her husband is a part of the package so I love him too. Sometimes, I even feel I and my sis are closer than before, we talk, I respect her as a married woman. When her son came into this world, I held one hand whilst her husband held the other, we are not competing for affection, the love we both have for her binds us together.
Also, hope this doesn't sound harsh but you need to focus on your life as an individual, even when you get married, you and your mate though one are still individuals so focus on your dreams, your vision, your goals. Travel, have fun. Be there for your sister, marriage is not an easy adjustment and she will need you. Give her space to be a great wife and CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.
we grow up for a reason...alot of things change. i have 2 sisters, my best friends in the whole world and we are all dating and seem to put boyfriend over one another but that's okay. because life was designed to be like that. the Bible says a man leaves his folks and cleaves to his wife. she would know wen she gets married as well.it's not betrayal.it's life!
THE MARRIED SISTER SHOULD KNOW HOW TO MANAGE HER TWIN SIS AND THE HUSBAND. EACH OF THEM HAS THEIR POSITION.......GOD FORBID IF D MARRIAGE HAS A PROBLEM WHO WILL SHE RUN TO....DEFINETALY GOD AND SOMEONE...IF THE POSTER IS ENGAGED NOW SHE WILL THINK LESS OF HER TWIN SIS, BUT FOR NOW SHE NEEDS ATTN TOO.WISING U WELL
Tell her to get married, or a man in her life could be helpful.She has to get over it cause her sister has a new life now, its just like this. When she left her mothers house for another mans house, her mum would miss her, she would'nt run to her mum all the time when their is problem in her home,would this make her mum angry, no it would'nt. It is her new life, you are the one who needs to get a life, get busy, get out more, meet new people, this i think will help.
one word for her...get busy, get married or sumthing!!
It's all been said. let her not be resentful but ask God to bring her own man so she can have a partner too. Loneliness can kill. I pray you meet your ideal man soon. But please be happy for your siste and dont hate her r her husband.
I can understand how you feel because friends do the same thing too until they are entirely out of honeymoon phase which sometimes is 2 years after or until they encounter their first major problem. Please don't let it bother you or affect you in a negative way. Focus on yourself, go out more and spend time with your other friends which I'm sure you have. Getting married is not an end in itself because life continues after you get married. I say this because some women feel they cannot be friends with their single friends or sister (in your case) once they are married. This is because some of them feel they have something you do not have and some of them are just insecure. I pray you will meet the love of your life too soon but in the meantime, redirect your focus and have fun too. Your twin is clearly living her life without you, so adjust and dismiss those hard feelings or anger. I can guarantee you, she'll come around sooner or later. I'm talking from experience. Take care.
I support the last post. You don't abandon your friends and family just cos you're married. Someone should inform the married sister to manage her time better.
Tell her to get a grip n grow up and hold on to Jesus....She will get married soon and move on too...
one phrase "on point!" in reaction to .."one word for her...get busy, get married or sumthing!!"
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