There’s something I want to talk about today that I’ve been meaning to talk about for a while now. Something happened today to remind me of it. I got invited to the beach by a very good friend and when I got there she asked me to come meet another friend of hers. Nicely I went to where this other lady was and tried to say hi. She didn’t even look up, just waved casually. I smiled…she reminded me of me 5/6 years ago. The bitch I was back then…lol
I was a bit nasty back in my ‘supermodel’ era. Not only nasty, but unfriendly and snobbish. The only friend I had then was Denrele Edun, and maybe 2 or 3 more people...others I just ignored, even when they tried to be friendly. That many people didn’t like me and I really didn’t care…not knowing what I was missing.
Now I’m totally the opposite of who I used to be and sincerely I can't remember at what point that transition occurred but I can tell you with all authority that it’s so much so much so much (I can’t over-emphasise it) better being nice to people than being nasty. There’s absolutely no gain in being snobbish, unfriendly and bitchy, but there’s a lot to gain in being nice.
I’ll tell you two stories.
I sent a friendship request on facebook to a celeb a couple of months ago. He rejected my request and sent me a nasty message. I was called a bitch and other nasty names. Apparently I wrote about him a long time ago on this blog and you guys left some crazy comments that he read and didn’t like. So he carried a grudge…and waited for when he’ll confront me. When I saw his very nasty and very dirty message, I smiled. The former me would have bitched back at him but instead I apologised and 'spoilt him with love'. He didnt expect 'the love' so didn't know how to respond. A few days later, he sent another message explaining why he called me names and now sent me a friendship request. I confirmed and well…we’re great friends now. You should see us chatting, you won’t believe how it all started. All I had to do was say sorry and be nice…
Seond story.
Someone sent me an email a while back calling me a thief, a whore, a bitch and many unprintable names. He said I took something from his website without giving him credit and wanted me to take down the post asap. The email was so nasty that I cringed at first, but I replied him with ‘Hi luv, I am so so sorry for taking your pictures…blah blah’. I actually got the pictures from another website but I didn’t bother explaining that…just apologised. Of course I had a choice of telling him to go f**k himself or just ignore him, but I did something he didn’t expect ‘cos he had been spoiling for war. My reply to him must have shocked him ‘cos he sent me an email apologising for insulting me and told me it was ok to leave the post up. You know what they say...'Spoil your enemy with love, it confuses them'. lol. We still send each other emails…we’re friends now.
Like I said before, all I had to do was be NICE. It takes nothing from you to be nice…nothing. Instead it brings you friendship, a good name and people will love you. Forget pride, embrace kindness and respect people. Don't go about thinking you're better than anyone, 'cos you're not. Don't look down on people because we're thesame in the eyes of God. When someone smiles at you and says hi, what does it take to smile back and say hi in return? Why snob people when you can hang out with them? What’s the big deal in saying ‘I’m sorry’ whether you’re right or wrong? It doesn’t make you small, instead it makes you a bigger person and it gets you respect and admiration from people because when you really think about it, who wants to be around a nasty person?
I’ve been nasty and I know how life was for me, now that I’m nice, I know how life is for me. I’ll tell you again, it so much better being nice and friendly…you have absolutely nothing to loose
If you’re nasty to people, I hope you change. you should. You won’t believe how much better life will be for you and how many more friends and good people you will find.
Do it for you and see the difference!
Thanks to everyone who sent me get well wishes.
I’m much better now!
See y’all tomorrow.
Love, L
28 comments:
A very refreshing post, so genuine and honest, love it! thanks so much for sharing!!
linda u know u are right some of the stuffs u mentioned has actually happened to me and i have also retaliated with love instead of showing them what i am made of so yeah it does not pay to be bitchy or snobby i am a better person for been much nicer not that i was a bitch oh but i was really quite and into myself but did not take crap from anyone u keep on being nice and i tell you the reward is great have a blessed week
hey linda it does pay to be nice o!
i like your blog except when u post things up about other celebrities esp those useless stories in those soft sells..if u complain abt the press you get then u should understand being a 'celebrity' urself and stop spreading the gist further!!most of those stories are untrue and if true they are private matters to those involved!!thats why i totally adore Bella Naija she stays out of those type news...the way u sometimes even post up those soft sell stories its so obvious you cant wait to do aproko and share the gist with your 'fans'..its like "everybody come and hear o" apart from that i love all your other posts and u seem like u have a great personality!!!
hey linda it does pay to be nice o!
i like your blog except when u post things up about other celebrities esp those useless stories in those soft sells..if u complain abt the press you get then u should understand being a 'celebrity' urself and stop spreading the gist further!!most of those stories are untrue and if true they are private matters to those involved!!thats why i totally adore Bella Naija she stays out of those type news...the way u sometimes even post up those soft sell stories its so obvious you cant wait to do aproko and share the gist with your 'fans'..its like "everybody come and hear o" apart from that i love all your other posts and u seem like u have a great personality!!!
In fact Linda i admire you greatly... Good job now i guess i have to look u up my facebook and add you. Because i have always had preconceptions about celebs like you to be snobbish and arrogant but after reading these... you almost made me not to conclude, Although,everyone is unique and different.
Yep, "spoil your enemy with love." truth.
I also remember your snobbish Unilag days *evil laughter* No I never bothered to speak with you or anything *another evil laughter,lol* but I remember you keeping my roommates awake with your catwalk lectures on the corrider of newest hall.lol.
Great post Linda! Great advice too. Being Nice is not the easiest attribute to have but with time, practice and determination, it can become second nature...
This post is on point!
No wonder God places so much emphasis on "Love"...even above all things!
I didnt know u were sick o...Glad u feel much better.
Nma
Welcome to the dark side Linda :) I think being nice is the most annoying thing anyone can do to another. I mean think about it, someone has just reallly UPSET you and you are fuming and you want to tear them apart and you just start to yell and scream and curse, and in return they give you an innocent smile and hug you and tell you they did not mean to upset you. In real time, you just want to stab them and watch the life slowly leave their bodies for making you look stupid.
Life....
Hey hi, i actually was at that same beach party.U sat behind me, infact i enjoyed watching you dance on stage.Refreshing get-together i must say.Ur simple in person and in thoughts too.Your experiences has disciplined you, and so i have decided to be disciples by your words.'Spoil your enemy with love should be like a mantra for everyone.What you just wrote down,was beyond opinions and perceptions,It came from a heart that i deep.Nice one Linda.
Aunty linda, my dear sister, the msg wey i leave for ur inbox for fb, u never reply me. but i go pardon u, wey be say, u no mean anytin' bad sha. nothin' spoil. anytime when u get chance, u fit reply but de tin be say de msg don tey. i for tink say u fit reply immediately, but anyway make bygone be bygone. i love de post, tho...
Well spoken Linda... It's a lot to do with maturity as well.
Well spoken Linda... It's a lot to do with maturity as well.
Great post Linda.
Ok, I read your stories and article. However, my story is different. I use to be the nicest girl on the block but now am the Head Bitch in Charge. People take you for a fool when you are nice, they take your stuff and never return. It’s good to be polite but I don’t think it’s necessary to be nice. You don’t know what the girl has been through and sometimes you just want to be by yourself. And remember we are all different; the world will be monotonous if we are all the same.
Ok, I read your stories and article. However, my story is different. I use to be the nicest girl on the block but now am the Head Bitch in Charge. People take you for a fool when you are nice, they take your stuff and never return. It’s good to be polite but I don’t think it’s necessary to be nice. You don’t know what the girl has been through and sometimes you just want to be by yourself. And remember we are all different; the world will be monotonous if we are all the same.
wow Linda.. u r such a good person!
WOW... i wish more pple will get it. to earnestly say "I'm sorry" whether u r right or wrong.... wow
keep being u mehn, God bless
just sth 2 add.. the Bible does say that wen u r nice 2 pple who r not nice 2 u, u heap hot coals on their head...
Bless
Wow,
I just got my 5 minutes entertainment and world news update and believe it or not I enjoy it and find all the information useful.
I cannnot believe you were ever nasty. We have just met but I dare say I find you so sweet, polite and gracious.
I do agree with you that being nice is so much better but it takes alot of inner strength.
I was once told by a proper English Gentleman that it is easier to be rude than to be polite under any circumstance. You must be very strong to resist the temptation to insult and be rude.
But it pays to be polite and nice in the long run.
To reward you: Anytime you want to wear your own hair its on Natures Gentle Touch all expenses paid by the best hair techinicians in Nigeria. My treat to you. You have totally impressed me with your industry,focus and creativity. More doors will continue to open for you. You should follow in the Israeli beauty queen's footsteps who has a cosemtic firm in Israel and who is now in parliament.
YOU GO GIRL!
i can actually relate with u on this one.
it is so much easier 2 be nice to pple. i used to be sooo rude and "snobbish".
funny thing is that most pple thought and still think that way jst bcos i don't go around shining my pearly whites.
that is just one thing abt me that cannot change because it is just my nature.
yes! on some occassions i have 2 fake a smile just because...but it is neva 2 long before i return to my "mean look." I mean ain't nutin funny...so wat d hell am i smiling 4? lol but deep within me, i mean no harm. Approach me nicely and u'ld love that u did.
however, i must say that my "mean look" has also worked to my advantage on several occassions.
i can't say im nice all d tym sha cos in my opinion people almost always try 2 take advantage of sum1 who appears too nice.
In certain situations, u just have 2 put ur foot down and say look homie...back d f**k up. lol
one thing 4 sure tho is that i laugh a whole lot. i love love love 2 laf...but i guess u'ld have 2 KNOW me inorder 2 see that side of me.
didn't know u were sick o! be well o abeg!
btw im possibly reaching ur end this xmas! so bear that in mind sha.
i can actually relate with u on this one.
it is so much easier 2 be nice to pple. i used to be sooo rude and "snobbish".
funny thing is that most pple thought and still think that way jst bcos i don't go around shining my pearly whites.
that is just one thing abt me that cannot change because it is just my nature.
yes! on some occassions i have 2 fake a smile just because...but it is neva 2 long before i return to my "mean look." I mean ain't nutin funny...so wat d hell am i smiling 4? lol but deep within me, i mean no harm. Approach me nicely and u'ld love that u did.
however, i must say that my "mean look" has also worked to my advantage on several occassions.
i can't say im nice all d tym sha cos in my opinion people almost always try 2 take advantage of sum1 who appears too nice.
In certain situations, u just have 2 put ur foot down and say look homie...back d f**k up. lol
one thing 4 sure tho is that i laugh a whole lot. i love love love 2 laf...but i guess u'ld have 2 KNOW me inorder 2 see that side of me.
didn't know u were sick o! be well o abeg!
btw im possibly reaching ur end this xmas! so bear that in mind sha.
Linda,
Another nice posts. I love this!
Indeed it pays to be nice. It makes you simple and friends of everyone. Also, it gives a free mind, confidence and happiness. Most people don't know that frowning brings sadness and jealousy. Once you're rude and snobbish, you can never be totally happy and totally free with people. It is a well-proven fact. Your examples show that you can actually make arrogant people jittery when you spoil them with love.
You have to be careful in applying this principle however because so many people will take you for granted. Some will think you're a first-class fool, and if you don't really have the perseverance, you might end up retaliating (tolerance is just like a time bomb waiting to explode at the slightest provocation). The point I am making here is that your 'being nice' principle must be practiced with unreserved firmness.
So true...It pays to be nice. I'm always nice to everyone. Plus, it says a lot about your character and self esteem.
Anyhoo,
I'm curious about the actor...I know we'll never figure out his idenity, but I'm guessing Jim Iyke. He's the one dude that pops into my head who would do such a thing.
good post... my 1st time on the blog and it has already made a good impression...
you seem like you have a good heart... keep up the good work Linda!
This is on point. I luv this
when u say u used to be nasty, i wonder how nasty cos if u really u now seem like d direct opposite of who u used to be. obviously we've never met but from ur posts i can tell ur a nice person.
its really true, i doesnt take anything from u being nice, instead it even creates good opportunities for u.....KEEP BEING NICE...take care dear
Ciaoxxx
You are the Oprah Winfery of the blogging world. way to go Sister!
aww
thats why we love you
u are so honest, and always urself
u know what, growing up is a process and im glad u loved who u were then and who u are now
great job, thanks for being at s.h.a.r.e for two seconds!
lol
this is very nice. & i've taken note on dat. really, left 2 me, i wouldn't have tot abt being nice n return. i'd most likely ignore dem. but dis is definitely a better way 2 deal wit haters ... not like i have one, blogville wise though. hehehehehe
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