Is it right to go through your partners private things? Like phone, documents, briefcase, wardrobe etc? Is it an invasion of privacy or do you have the right as the person's partner?
This is something most of us do, especially women, but is it right?
Share your thoughts.
26 comments:
It is VERY wrong to go through anyone's private file/documents etc. It is VERY VERY wrong. But a friend of mine who had bn dating her bf for over 2years discovered something while going thru her boyfriend's documents. She discovered that her 'beloved' who claimed he was 30years old was actually 40 years old when she saw his birth certificate. She also discovered that he has an 8year old child by one woman and a 1year old by another woman(she knew about the 1year old but not the 8yr old). She also discovered that he was still married contrary to what he said.(he told her he wasn't married, only had a child). With all these info, she didnt confront him (cos she knew it was wrong) but she ended her relationship with him.
What I dont like is men who tell you all those crap like..."I dont keep secret, you can open my mails, answer my phones etc...." and when you eventually do, they get angry that you "obeyed" them. I am of the belief that if you have nothing to hide, no need to worry about sniffers...esp if you are in a serious relationship/marriage. Of course, you dont want a "just a friend partner to go thru your bank stuff, would you?
No it is not alright. You either trust the guy or you don't If you don't trust him then you shouldn't be together.
i have always said and i m sayin again and ll continue to say there s nothin wrong in going thru one s patner s phones,dairies or what ever,no 1 what God has joined together let no texs ,etc put asunder,i pick up my husbands phone at will and just go thru his messages not be cos i dont trust him and not like i m lookin 4 anythin in particular i just do it ,it should nt even be an issue if u both ve nothin to hide,
without permission it is wrong. If you are looking for something you know you really dont want to find, it is wrong. Depending on the level of the relationship, some men dont mind you having access to their personal stuff ie emails, phone, docs, etc. so it may not even be a big deal and you urself may not even care to snoop, Maybe cos they feel they have nothing to hide. But you know wots funny, if I am dating a guy and I ask to maybe see his cell and he gets all paranoid, somehow I see it as a sign to end the relationship. lol
I have every right to go throuh my patners things.. There shouldn't be any secrecy thus this is even what would make us trust ourselves better.
is not a crime .I think 2 shall be one.So y d separation?
If outsiders can't go into ur wardrobe or lockers or secret places ur patner should be allowed to go into ur closet if u dont have any hiden agenda.
there is no limitation to ur patner's access to ur privacy.
Ikeji,how do I know my posted comment was done successfully.
yes, going thru a partners documents may be wrong but boy, doesnt it save one from future had i known??????
i never used to snoop on peoples things till i met this guy that was so secretive.for me to know his little little things about him was like JAMB and this was a guy that i was planning a future with.... so i snooped!!thank GOD i looked at his letters cos i found out that he was married with 2 kids in nigeria. his wife actually knew about me and was encouraging him to marry me so he could get a stay in the uk. and this man also had a babymama too. all i found out will not contain this space.
and u say going thru ones privates is not gooddd???????
na u sabi.
I'll definitely pry if I'm suspicious of something, you know that funny feeling somethg is not right (not necessarily related to another woman). Growing up I often spent hours in my father's room going through his files; one time when a business branch was robbed and vandalised and he kept it to himself so as not to scare my mum, guess who was the first to know? I don't pry and tell though except someone's life depends on it.
It is called "private" for a reason. Any relationship should be based on trust except that person proves otherwise, the idea of sniffing on another's 'space', if you like, is totally unpalatable and if I catch anyone invading mine, they go down in my estimation and probably seize to be a true friend.
Although one has to accept that under certain situations, especially where life is at risk, and with the necessary legal backing, then snooping could be excused.
The only other time that this behavior may be overlooked is if a partner has been caught cheating once or several times and inevitably one must feel an overwhelming pressure to snoop for one's own sanity, no one likes to be the fool. Simply the cheating partner can only have themselves to blame, 'TRUST IS MUTUALLY FREELY GIVEN AT THE ONSET OF ANY MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP,BUT AFTER AN ABUSE OF THAT TRUST e.g affair, that TRUST has got to be EARNED BIGTIME.
Pete
relationships should be based on mutual trust.i wont go out of my way to go through his things unless he gave me reason to suspect him in the first place.
it is not wrong to go thru his private stuff abeg.its the only way to discover the truth,dont let him know u went thru his stuff,if u find stuff that u cant take walk out of the relationship if not smile and pretend its ok.he wudnt hesistate to go thru ur stuff if he had the chance.its human nature to do so!
It's really like "do I want him checking my things?" If I don't then I should not check his....Realistically speaking, I will check my man's things as often as I get a chance to cos Men are miracle workers....u just never know...While I am at that, I MUST make sure my own house is in order cos I am so sure that he will check mine whenever he finds a very good chance to do so.....
From moral perspective i don't think it's idealor correct snooping and sniffing around your patner's stuff..though.
If you poke your nose or filthy hands into my private stuff then am gonna pay u back with your own coins..tit for tat, simple as ABC..what matters most is trust in every relationship- everybody has got one or two dirty linen in his or her cupboard.Show me who's a SAINT?
I dnt think it's right to go around digging thru people's personal stuffs without permission.
na una sabi o....me, any man that becomes defensive, jumpy or protective with his cell phone especially should be snooped on....immediately i started suspecting my " ex-boyfriend" i started trying to guess what his voicemail password could be and guess what?? i found it!! i started checking his messages and realized dat d pimp was a true player...come and see different female voices calling him and leaving all sorts of nonesense messages...just had to dump his ass and till tomorrow d mumu doesnt even know why i dumped him....A WOMAN'S INSTINCT IS NEVA WRONG!!! FOLLOW YOURS!! NA ME TALK AM!!!
trust ndi nmuo, abeg who are these one's yarning dust? I not only go through stuff, I tell them I'm going through your shit too and if you try to hide it I will find it (data miner lomor!) I don't particularly care if anyone goes through my stuff because there's nothing I hide. So keep me honest by all means.
some men are very wicked oh.. so the sooner we girls WISE up and start snooping around, the better for most of us.. on the other hand, be ready to deal with whatever you find QUIETLY.. walk away leaving him clueless and confused, and let that be your satisfaction..
I have been married for over 8 years and I check my husband's phone whenever I feel like and my hubby knows.I pick his phone if it rings and he's not there and he picks mine-I don't have any qualms with that.
As long as we are married,I believe I should be able to look thru his stuff and he, mine otherwisedon't bring it home!!
Everybody needs space and privacy in a relationship or you will choke each other. I was a snooper until 3 yrs ago when i found out my husband had been secretly planning a suprise getway to Paris for valentine, including the reservations he had made in top restaurants for each of the 4 nights and the excursions he had planned. Can you now imagine how I had to bring out my acting skills, pretended to a fault. 3yrs on, he still thinks he blew my mind with the surprises, but i feel bad that I cheated, I stopped snopping since. Some men are good and dont deserve to be snooped on, know your man and you will know which route to follow. A cheating partner, snoop or no snoop, will still cheat, infact they can get better and cleverer once they syke you.
Well, i think it's okay to snoop on a boyfriend that you're thinking of furthering things with. I mean you don't want no nasty surprises like finding out you're dating someone's husband.
However, if it's a husband, what's the point of snooping? Unless you are ready to divorce him if you find out anything unpleasant.
My husband is a very busy consultant gynaecologist and has a lot of female patients ringing him as a result; so snooping on him may only make me embarass myself by accusing an innocent person of having an affair with him.
When my husband was courting me years back, i helped him open email accounts for both his business and private use. I had initially told him to change the passwords, but he refused, saying he didn't want us to keep stuff from each other.
Due to his very busy schedule, he hardly has time to check his mail, so i used to help him log in at least once a month, especially his Hotmail account, so that it wouldn't be closed down. I never checked his mails, as there were loads of junk anyway; all i used to do was log in and out- just to keep his accounts open.
Recently, i taught him how to chat and as i know he hardly checks his mail, i did my normal monthly check, only to discover that he had changed the password to his personal email account. I know some women would scream suspicious, but i couldn't be bothered. I reasoned that he doesn't know my own password and has never even asked, so if he wants to change it, then that's fine. I didn't even bother asking him; afterall it's not my email account.
Like someone said, if a man wants to cheat, whether you snoop or not, he'd still cheat and even psyche you up to feel you're at fault. So for me, i'd say, let sleeping dogs lie. What you don't know won't hurt...
Hmm, good question. well my Hubby does it, I dont, and sometimes it pisses me off! SOMEtimes, i say. I try not to mind bcos I know it's just him being him, not that he is searching for a sign. well, sometimes he is, but since I know I aint cheating, I worry not. But sometimes just to pull his legs I harrass him for it "What are yu looking for, sef?!" Which makes him defensive or apologetic. I'll live! I love the guy, so there!
Hmm, good question. well my Hubby does it, I dont, and sometimes it pisses me off! SOMEtimes, i say. I try not to mind bcos I know it's just him being him, not that he is searching for a sign. well, sometimes he is, but since I know I aint cheating, I worry not. But sometimes just to pull his legs I harrass him for it "What are yu looking for, sef?!" Which makes him defensive or apologetic. I'll live! I love the guy, so there!
In theory, one should not snoop through their partner's stuff. BUT if I am planning marriage with someone, HELL-TO-THE-YES I'm snooping. I want to know E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G about that person.
I snooped on my partner and learned that while he was busy telling me that I was the only woman in his life,he was busy picking up chicks on the side. Give me a break. I trsut no man.
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