"The ceremony is not about me being bitter for not having a man. It wasn’t like, “OK, I’m upset that I’m 40 and don’t have a man.” I wanted to show myself my self-love, my self-worth and my self-respect. It was always about me loving me. When God sends me my husband, he will come, but until then, I’m OK with it just being with me." ContinueYasmin sat down with The Root to discuss why she did it and why her family and friends didn't stop her...
Yasmin Eleby: For a few years leading up to my 40th birthday, I’d been joking that if I didn’t have a wedding by 40 that I would just have one myself without a groom. I thought having a wedding ceremony would be a unique way to celebrate my 40th with my family and my friends. And the closer that it got, I realized I had to put up or shut up.
The Root: I’ve been reading the reactions to all the stories on you, and a common comment is, “Where were her friends? They didn’t stop her!” When you told your friends—like, “Hey, guys, I’m going to have a wedding and marry myself!”—what did they say?
Yasmin Eleby: Some of them didn’t believe me. They thought I was joking, but once I explained to them what it would be about, they were supportive.
The Root: When the invites for the ceremony went out to guests, what was their response?
Yasmin Eleby: Not very many people knew it was a
wedding. It was kind of a surprise. The invitations just said come
celebrate my birthday in a unique way. I invited two of my exes. They
were both happy for me. They were excited about it once they got there
and realized what was happening.
The Root: A lot of people have assumed that marrying yourself was an act of desperation. What exactly was the ceremony about for you?
Yasmin Eleby: The ceremony is not about me being
bitter for not having a man. It wasn’t like, “OK, I’m upset that I’m 40
and don’t have a man.” I wanted to show myself my self-love, my
self-worth and my self-respect. It was always about me loving me. When
God sends me my husband, he will come, but until then, I’m OK with it
just being with me.
The Root: What vows did you take during the ceremony?
Yasmin Eleby: The first one was about forgiving
myself. We’ve all made mistakes. I had to realize that if I ask for
forgiveness, then it’s done. I don’t have to keep dwelling on the past. I
can let it go. My second vow was to honor myself as a beautiful,
fabulous being, conscious of making decisions for myself and to honor my
self-worth. The third vow was love. I made a promise to love myself and
to know that the more love I have for myself, the more love I have to
share with others.
The Root: This all sounds so sweet, but it’s
been received in a much different light. What do you think of the
reactions to your ceremony?
Yasmin Eleby: It has been blown way out of
proportion. From the few comments that I’ve read, they’re trying to
paint me as crazy or bitter about not having a husband, and that is so
not the case. I’m not bitter, I‘m not crazy. I’m just a fun-loving
unique individual, and I just wanted to do something special and
different.
The Root: In hindsight, do you have any regrets about the ceremony?
Yasmin Eleby: Not one.
Am happy 4 her,atleat she will die a happy woman.
ReplyDeleteWhatever makes her happy jare #onelovefromsnow#
DeleteThere's a difference btw birthday party and wedding biko. Anyway na she sabi but she's crazy.
DeleteHappy for her dat she married hersef or wht?
DeleteIf ur ur folks had acted d way she d, wil u hav b born?
Am happy 4 her,atleat she will die a happy woman.
ReplyDeleteDe shud be there bashing her nt knowing she's indirectly advertizing ha sef....real husband go soon come her way..
DeleteMoses u Jesus said the truth
DeleteAdvertisement of life
Aww Wilhemina actually thinks like a human being! That's gotta be the biggest discovery of the year! For an animal to have the ability to empathise! Hmmm
DeleteOk naa, I'll be right back
ReplyDeleteAm happy 4 her,atleat she will die a happy woman.
ReplyDeleteAm happy 4 her,atleat she will die a happy woman.
ReplyDeleteLol, she did like that woman in glee, nothing I won't see
ReplyDeleteLol, she did like that woman in glee, nothing I won't see
ReplyDeleteAwww! I feel her pain,they should let her be.
ReplyDeleteIt pays you more doing you.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA
Abi na
DeleteWell well well she jst created an advertising media for ha sef... soonest men shall surround ha table #okbye#
Deleteif only she go fit marry me...
ReplyDeleteif only she go fit marry me...
ReplyDeleteGood for her haters...i like wen a girl is herslf
ReplyDeleteVisit my blog
www.glowyshoe.blogspot.com
Your not serious....did de holy book say that one should marry herself or himself? all this ideas from de pit of hell huv eaten deep in sum people's mind. They are too blinded to see the truth.
ReplyDeleteSmh
ReplyDeleteHer decision is awkward
ReplyDeleteThat's kinda Weird! Then what now?
ReplyDeleteIse Aye!!.....
ReplyDeleteAbeg it is just sad, that's all!
ReplyDeleteHer level of self-love is not of dis world
ReplyDeleteGood for her. People should mind their biz some times. She did what she did to make herself happy.
ReplyDelete$.
$.
@Carlos via Nokia Lumia
They shud have her examined I dnt think she ok @all
ReplyDeleteYou can love yourself without marrying yourself, madam.
ReplyDeleteno matter what always make urself happy i love ur courage..
ReplyDeletei love you linda
See as she fat
ReplyDeleteLinda this will soon be you o
You can marry your range
Ok na, happy married life again oo, as una no dey like make person advice una, like seriously how does marrying urself proved how much u love urself? E be like ogbanji dey worry u nd na very strong one dey ur head so o
ReplyDeleteIts her life jor, pple shld free her...
ReplyDelete.....A better Nigeria I pray....
Its her life jor, pple shld free her...
ReplyDelete.....A better Nigeria I pray....
People should just free Yasmin o *LMAO
ReplyDeleteIts her life jor, pple shld free her...
ReplyDelete.....A better Nigeria I pray....
Na new type of madness be dis ooooooo.
ReplyDelete#dtsnoneofmybiz
Someone are so jobless that they can't even someone's personal decision and stop being a judgemental freaks...she married herself and so what.
ReplyDelete¤¤¤¤¤¤QUEENMAYA¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
Someone are so jobless that they can't even respect someone's personal decision and stop being a judgemental freaks...she married herself and so what.
ReplyDelete¤¤¤¤¤¤QUEENMAYA¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
It's her life though
ReplyDeletePeople shld learn to live their own lives & stay out of other people's lives as life is indeed too short to spend it on others. Linda take note!
ReplyDeleteNow SHE's explained, it honestly makes a lot of sense
ReplyDeleteGreat spirit, great self motivation
ReplyDeletePeople shld learn to live their own lives & stay out of other people's lives as life is indeed too short to spend it on others. Linda take note!
ReplyDeletePeople shld learn to live their own lives & stay out of other people's lives as life is indeed too short to spend it on others. Linda take note!
ReplyDeleteThough ure fond of commenting multiple times on each post but ur comments always add up,especially 2day's..my prayer z 4 God 2 Bless u wt an excellent spirit like he did Daniel
DeleteLinda feed Juliet o! Take note before hunger kill am ooo!
DeleteAbeg they should free the woman jare. Love and respect is all that matters. Is it with all these useless and hopeless dogs roaming the streets? The same ones that will sleep with a bridesmaid the evening of his wedding? or the ones that will sleep with an ex the night before honeymoon? or the ones that will still marry a second wife after 5 children? or the ones that will turn the woman into a punching bag? Abeg be happy with yourself jare. The only thing the dogs are good for is procreation. Outside that, nothing else. Afterall, we (women) work legitimately harder than them these days. And thank God for the government of GEJ that has given us women voice. Abeg carry go my sister. Who says our lives must revolve around a man? Askor!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLove your comment jare
DeleteGood for her o
ReplyDeleteBuh pls dear God, I do not wish to live this kinda life
Getting married to myself???? Loneliness, depression αи∂ sadness will just kill me
Its true am a career driven lady....no doubt am hustling to make it on my own buh I love children so much...am I gonna get myself pregnant?????
Αи∂ there's this joy one derives from having a companion...some1 dat u share ur problems with αи∂ all that...
Pls this kinda life is what I do not wish to live
God send my own man pls
rubbish
ReplyDeletexyz(aittyfinest)
Ehyaaaa...Make pple free this woman jor
ReplyDeleteShe'll probably have toasters now...as a result of this publicity. lool.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Ppl wl nw be on her case
Deleteabeg stop deceiving urself,u are insecure.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...nut case
ReplyDeleteOk nice hope u enjoyed every bit of it? God will bring ur man soonest!!
ReplyDeleteShe has her life to live so critics should go and die.
ReplyDeleteHmmm... It jus doesn't make Sense...
ReplyDeleteIn other words, it was a BD not a wedding.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to her for her fame, now a husband will find her.
Our unmarried nigerian celebrities should try that too*straight face*
ReplyDeleteAdel.
People should leave her alone jare. She is free to do whatever she likes. It's her life, not urs
ReplyDeleteLive ur life bt i dnt like dat kind of life
ReplyDeleteNa wao, i never hear or see this before. Many things dey happen in our generation.
ReplyDelete⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥♡thanks ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥
Good for her. People should learn to leave people's private lives.
ReplyDeletei made a
ReplyDeletepromise to love myself and to know that the
more love I have for myself, the more love I
have to share with others........i love this part of the interview
#secret admirer
SHE NEEDS TO SHUT HER GUTTER MOUTH UP......AKA.....MRS ME
ReplyDeleteHuuuummmmm
ReplyDeleteLovely,So sweet words
ReplyDeletewell her choice but to me its a stupid act..why marry urself..fine woman like u..nawa ooo..weird pple evri wia...................................#KingOfKings #6God
ReplyDeleteLinda will not talk about her quanta with funke akindele now oo,na another person matter we go dey hear.
ReplyDeleteI like her courage,besides she has the right to do what ever she likes
ReplyDeletePple shud learn to mind their biz, its her life.
ReplyDeleteThis people do weird stuffs related to the Biblical end time things & yet feel very very comfortable. Nawa o.
ReplyDeleteYou just want to do something special and different did I hear her say? or you just want to be in the limelight? Ok na!
ReplyDeleteNa dis kind attitude mk u nor see husband
ReplyDeleteFunny
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to explain anything Madam
ReplyDeleteDo the needful and marry a man or a woman...... Don't be lonely
@Galore
Let's pray this publicity will find you a real husband Aunty. :)
ReplyDeleteStill funny. Always funny.
ReplyDeleteI really feel for her anyways. It's not easy.
Your man will locate you soon dear.
Blackberry gives you the best and make you
forget the rest.
....................................
David (dave_gino)
»Commenting from my BLACKBERRY 9900«
am not really suprise, the world is changing......
ReplyDeletebut for all i ve got 2 say is "choose ye this day, who you'll serve"
peeps should leave her be jare!!!>
ReplyDeleteWen God sends her husband, he will come to her... so make them free her... at least she took a bold step to publicly profess her love for herself
I see u projecting yourself as a woman of high esteem who value been a woaman and believing God for your own husband. I salute ur courage.
ReplyDeleteSo u women actually needs a man like this and u people will be forming? Oshi...
ReplyDeletei guess it nothing business
ReplyDeleteif she chose to do that, that's her choice
#Commenting thru Glo 4G LTE
FOOL.
ReplyDeleteI have been seeing lots of comments like "it's her life". What kind of life is that? Is that act in anyway reflect the life of Christ? If you're a christian tho. The word of God(Bible) is our mirror. Don't follow the crowd, be an outstanding christian. Don't say or do things because every other persons are doing or saying it. Stand out! Even if you're the only one that condemns evil out 100, it doesn't matter.
ReplyDeleteI salute ur courage buh d truth is, Is it in the bible that Woman can marry demself. I read that HE(GOD) made them Male and Female. Definitely U will surely get Ur man. Instead of throwing parry why not use d money for homeless child or adult one child dat needs help and see what GOd will do in ur life. Prayer answers all. Salute
ReplyDeleteUr lonely,,,,, dats de Fact
ReplyDeleteWetin we no go see???
ReplyDelete#Abbytohxoft
At least shes happy..and dats d most important...visit my blog www.provydon1.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteTHIS WOMAN KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING & SHE HAS GOTTEN IT OH, SEEKING ATTENTION, Y MUST SHE MARRY HERSELF CUZ SHE'S SINGLE WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO GAIN??? MSHEW.... SHE DEY ADVERTISE HERSELF 4 MAN TO SEE HER.
ReplyDeleteEehen!hmmm Oghene miguo,nothing person no go hear for this world.
ReplyDeleteghenyjose
Madam self-lover, who gode totori u for night naa abi u no wan born pikin?
ReplyDeleteI pity her sha...n she is beautiful...I hope she finds a man..beta man oo
ReplyDeleteLife is too short...Do whatever makes U happy...
ReplyDeleteNa her choice, let her be
ReplyDeletethis is heartbreaking tho
ReplyDeleteThat's okay....if that will make u happy. Is all happiness in this life. Is no one's business. Samuel_augustina@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteWell,well,well,u gave hrt touching excuses,like d part where she reminded herslf abt love nd self worth,but then,like I said b4,she called it upon herself,she had always visualised nd talked abt bin 40 nd unmarried nd hw she'l marry herslf.be careful wat u wish for,u might as well ave it nia be her case so.
ReplyDeleteHehe, at first I thought it was an act of desperation too, but you have to do things differently to get different results. Now she's got men the world over knowing she's pretty, single and ready to mingle. She'll be beating off the men now and will probably find the right one in the process. Lol. The deed is done, so I'm looking at the bright side. Yup, yup.
ReplyDeleteMay God give her a man who wld luv her for who she is..
ReplyDeleteWhat is it wit people sef? If she is now a lesbian people wil talk. Homo,people wil talk. Now she chose 2 appreciate and marry her self,people still talking. #oneandonlynwa@gmail.com#
ReplyDeleteIt's beta dus way dan de oda way round. #oneandonlynwa@gmail.com#
ReplyDeletehmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Happiness is the most important thing on earth. am happy for you. keep loving yourself and the people around you. be happy be good be kind.
ReplyDeleteI just kw its one kind....... But if dat wil make her not take ppl's husband... Cool..... Others should copy her ooooh!!! If ah catch anyone wt my hubby it won't be funny ooooh.... No be on for LIB u go hear ram.... *winks.
ReplyDeleteShe is a real woman
ReplyDeleteAunty Linda...When are you getting marry sef....
ReplyDeletesomething weird about it anyway.
ReplyDeleteWish you happy unmarried life!
ReplyDeleteBut remember that you can't divorce yourself easily!
ReplyDeleteShe's explaining her madness... She emotionally and psychologically dis organized ! I see nothing sane in marrying yourself period!!
ReplyDeleteExemplifies what will happen to all of us follow follow Naija women. The truth is the American culture we all want to follow has its drawbacks. We will all have our equality soon with our men, but no husbands.
ReplyDeleteThere are lots of above average income women in the western world (including diaspora women) who are lonely. You will have your rights, but the men too have the right not to marry as you can't have two captains on one ship.
Let us remind ourselves not to embrace everything Western. Divorce rates are very high; homosexuality is high; depression is high in the midst of plenty! Those trends are starting to reflect in our society. Remember Fela's song; Mr Follow Follow, or shall we say Mrs Follow Follow...
Am jst happy for one statement she made by saying if God send her own husband she will marry meaning dat she is still ready for main marriage. She is jst showing love to her self
ReplyDelete