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Monday 21 July 2014

Frustrated husband creates spreadsheet detailing different reasons why his wife would not have sex with him

A 26 year old sexually frustrated man created a spreadsheet detailing reasons why his wife would not have sex with him. For a whole month, the man jotted down every reason the woman gave to turn him down when he asked for sex...from 'I'm too tired', to 'I'm watching the show' to 'I have to be up early' and sent it to her via email during a business trip to get her attention. She said when she tried to reach him after receiving the email, he refused to pick her calls and she angrily posted it on Reddit.

The lady said they'd been together for five years but only married for two years without any kids.
"Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He's never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it's a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won't miss me for the 10 days I'm gone." She said "Attached is a spreadsheet of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1, with a column for my "excuses", using verbatim quotes of why I didn't feel like having sex at that very moment.'
The spreadsheet, which has since been deleted, has been shared by thousands of people online.

167 comments:

  1. lol..patoswife@gmail.com

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    1. Instead of the bagar to read it and be sober then change, she post am online, no rumours! Wicked

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  2. 70x7. pretex4luv@yahoo.com

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  3. Linda de excuse sheet is blury. I tried zooming it 2 read but couldn't decipher anyting. Watever her reasons na dem sabi. Pls I'm out. ***CATCH ME IF U CAN***

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    1. Buy a better phone ----C21

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  4. Hahaha vry funi

    Pls visit my shoe blog

    www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com

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  5. Hehehehe... Only had sex 3 times dat month, but how is dis our business tho?

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  6. The very reason why Divorce rate is high in the west
    FLYING DUTCHMAN>>>>>>>>>

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  7. Haaaa there is fire on the mountain run run run!!!

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  8. Awwwww it's nt fair ooo! Lmao! This is why some marriages crash! May God help us all ooo. Guess she's nt just feeling the man again

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  9. Give your husband what he wants abeg. I think she's cheating on him

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  10. Woman satisfy ur man b4 anoda woman takes ur place by giving ur husby what he wants.

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  11. The woman is a fool!
    She didn't have to put that spreadsheet online. .. who does that? ??

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    1. He didn't have to make a spreadsheet at all. ..who does that? ?? #Grudgebearingun4givingman ----C21

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  12. KHAI, AMERICANS AND CRITICAL ANALYSIS. SEE EXCEL SPREADSHEET NAA. VERY SOON HE'LL COME UP WITH GRAPHS AND ANALYSIS OF THE DATA COLLECTED. THEN HE'LL BE ABLE TO MAKE PREDICTIONS OF WHEN NEXT HE'S LIKELY TO HAVE SEX WT HIS WIFE AND KEEP THE DATE..

    U CAN BECOME FAMOUS OVERNIGHT ON THE INTERNET. JUS DO STH STUPID THAT WILL STUPIDLY GO VIRAL. ABEG U GUYS SHUD GO SORT UR ISSUES JOR

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  13. Oh boi! Lmfao!!
    Mamafunkky@gmail.com

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  14. Poor guy. Selfish woman. If he cheats she better not dare say a damn thing cos she pushed him to it. Sex is to (most) husbands what food is to wives.

    So don't starve your husbands!

    Kimmy *****

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    Replies
    1. And who cares about food? Please form a better rhyme. This 1 is rubbish ----C21

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  15. She says yes in every 10 days.. So most def, d man wouldn't hav missd her on her 10 day trip.

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    1. Attah you are a smart guy. Which everyone that has read this spreadsheet should have noticed. Everyday isn't sex. Maybe she doesn't enjoy sex that much. And I wonder why people come up on this blog to start lying insults on one,pls if you don't have anything to say just Shut D F... Up

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  16. haba this man don kolo o, if they dont have kids yet, they should have sex more often since there are no kids to disturb. i still dont get why men crave for sex so much more than anything in the world. cant laff o.

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  17. haba this man don kolo o, if they dont have kids yet, they should have sex more often since there are no kids to disturb. i still dont get why men crave for sex so much more than anything in the world. cant laff o.

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  18. What a world of married life,how this man maintain his fidelity. Some women are wicked and selfish.

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  19. lollest...thats the reinvention of "hell hath no furry like a hubby starved"

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  20. Why would thr be any kids in thr union? Do pregnancies come without intercourse?

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  21. LOL @ least he got it 3 times in a month

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  22. The woman is not serious jor....loool

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  23. Y shud she get married if she dnt like getn intimate? Rosemarychidikwa@gmail.com

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  24. lmao..d lady is wicked..why give ur husband puna 3 times a month. ...................................#KingOfKings

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  25. She's stupid for making this public; she ought to be ashamed of herself. How can kids be forthcoming without lovemaking?
    Btw, did the man record her responses to remember all that, including the dates?


    *My R1.50c comment*

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  26. 0kay!! hope she makes a spreadsheet. of all the times he pisses her off and all the times he's not there for her so we will see which is worse. But on second thought, How can 1 person come up with all these excuses,, not fair I'd say. Women start loving and having more sex with your hubby!! Its not a crime *u're married* and I'm guessing a 'non-nigerian' guy wrote this? Cos most naija guys marry when they are grandpas ----C21

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  27. He shd get a conji relief matchine.Bt its a serious issue oo.

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    Replies
    1. Cute g, how many times do you give it to your hubby in a month?

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  28. Which ever way dis relationship might fall to dis lady sud b hold responsible

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  29. Nawa o, Anty Linda dis gist is an old gist nw. This woman doesn't hav sense oo

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  30. No matter what don't starve ur spouse with sex,that might be the beginning of breaking your home, infact good way of breaking it, you no even happy say him dey ask you, well may be the woman dey chop am correct correct for outside or for office.

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  31. If this is true, sincerely it is very ridiculous. Ladies need to be careful about relationship and manage it. If she gets to find out that the man is having affair as a matter of satisfying himself? how would she feel. Apologize to him in the language that will convey your sincerity to him and please make amendments before it is late. Wish you the best and be the person you should be to give him children in TIME. Toks

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  32. Sadly, this is one of the reasons y men cheat on their wives.

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  33. about the mail sent to you to help generate fund for the little baby,thanks for not responding to the mail, thank God,the fund has been raised,may God answer each and everyone´s prayers.
    i dont need you to post this,just want to inform you.
    thanks and God bless.

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  34. This woman is mean..the days between d yes are 10 days..so she was doing it intentionally..dere is God oo...#justsaying "tjenny"

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  35. Linda I don't want to believe its true,but if it is true then that woman is a devil in woman form. And na God go help and judge all thiis over career women. What on earth would make u deny u hubby ur body? May go have mercy on her. Lyn buchi says so

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  36. This woman is mean..the days between d 3 yes she said are 10 days..so she was doing it intentionally..dere is God oo...#justsaying "tjenny"

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  37. Lolz serves her right but the guy is angrily funny sha

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  38. Now dats a green light der, saying Go nd cheat youngman!!! She values her job more Dan her home. Too bad!! No sex! No child! Wat can I say...she is jst a childish demon.

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  39. This woman is mean..the days between d 3 yes she said are 10 days..so she was doing it intentionally..dere is God oo...#justsaying "tjenny"

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  40. This woman is mean..the days between d 3 yes she said are 10 days..so she was doing it intentionally..dere is God oo...#justsaying "tjenny"

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  41. This woman is mean..the days between d 3 yes she said are 10 days..so she was doing it intentionally..dere is God oo...#justsaying "tjenny"

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  42. lol. wahala. no love be that, she should be lucky the man hasn't started sleeping with some girl yet. she needs to put her self together. its happening in most homes as we speak.

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  43. .On the count of three, 1.2. go!!!!!chauvnistic Nigerians start insulting her....#cheEzyjayne

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  44. Had he paid attention to when she wants to have sex rather than when she doesn't the excel sheet clearly shows she agrees every two weeks.

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  45. Had he paid attention to when she wants to have sex rather than when she doesn't the excel sheet clearly shows she agrees every two weeks.

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  46. what a stupid wife u are....kai women #SMH...then why did u get married?

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  47. How can she posted dis no matter what she should not have posted it online all d same dis is funny do

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  48. Why is he asking for it everyday?
    Is he a machine?abeg

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  49. It's very glaring why they're yet to make babies....it's not far fetched.
    Blame yourself if your husband start cheating.

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  50. It's very glaring why they're yet to make babies....it's not far fetched.
    Blame yourself if your husband start cheating.

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  51. Lol, hilarious. Ogunaomi@gmail.com

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  52. LOL! Frustration tor bad!

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  53. I am facing similar challenges.
    My wife is straving me of sex with various cadres of excuses.
    I dont want to go out to look for sex.What should i do?

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    Replies
    1. Join the queue bro! If I create an Excel template for my wife, there will be 3 or 4 worksheets. At least he's getting some every 10 days. And I fear God too much to cheat. At this rate I will have to plead for His understanding.

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  54. Lol....funny guy. Frustrated indeed. But if they are d ones dey'd expect d woman 2 understand.

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  55. Ewwww...now dats wat I call frustration...linda oya post my comment before I......................

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  56. She keeps repeating the same excuse. Imagine she wants to have sex and the says all these, I wonder what her response would be like.

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  57. Still figure out why some women make excuses for such a beautiful moment

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  58. I can how frustrated the man is. My situation isn't any different. My husband is a pant. Am 30 with 1 kid. Still very hawt. Currently searching for a dude to take over

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  59. bruhh is tryna f*ck everyday? ahan i don't blame her.. alakoba!

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  60. D list seems endless,Y on earth wud she post it online evendoe she's angry, her husband is even a gud man cuz he took his tym 2 put down his rizons 4 her,sum men wudnt av said enitin dey ll just luk 4 ways 2 help demselves by having a side chick

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  61. lol dis is so funny

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  62. Wait! Is dt evryday ds guy wanna have sex? A man or woman who hv the time to look for faults from his/her partner, certainly dnt wnt d progress of d marriage..

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  63. THIS IS NOT FUNNY AT ALL. KEEPING RECORDS.CHAI

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  64. Haaaa!!! Dis woman no fear God at all.....purnishing hubby dis way, wen chicks re outside waiting 4 an opportunity lik dis...na wah ooo.
    I'm a woman, bt I dnt treat my man lik dis. Its unfair!!!
    ...Bianca T...

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  65. Mehn I lov that guy, he's a woman. He must also love 5£x wella

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  66. Haaaa!!! Dis woman no fear God at all.....purnishing ur hubby dis way, wen chicks re outside waiting 4 an opportunity lik dis...na wah ooo.
    I'm a woman, bt I dnt treat my man lik dis. Its unfair!!!
    ...Bianca T...

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  67. Lol, I thought the spreadsheet was for a dog on heat until I read the post


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  68. Lol funny.cgestheruko@gmail.com

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  69. mehn...na wa o...things a guy's gotta do these days to get sex from his own wife... I tire

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  70. Now can someone give me 5 reasons why this man won't cheat. First time commenting.

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  71. It is a sign of extra marital affair.

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  72. Not good, that is what you get when you get married to a wrong woman, excuses everytime

    danskila1@gmail.com

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  73. Imagine wickedness...the man sef don try jor. How she go starve am of straff for that long Abi she no sabi say body no be wood??

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  74. Lol but this man self...na everyday you wan dey straff dey go?

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  75. Anyone notice there's a 10-day gap between the periods they had sex. She must be on some sort of "Think like a man" rule here.

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  76. She must be really gross if she actually didn't tk a shower after she came bk frm d gym.

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  77. Linda..Very Good.

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  78. Why did she Marry him???anyway,na Oyibo things.

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  79. (In psquare's voice) see me see wahala eee... But kai, d lady over do her own. Dats y most men end up in d arms of anoda.

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  80. Lol..no be small spreadsheet! Nna that woman is heartless tho! He wants to gradually kill the man

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  81. Omg!shit happens bringing on the net is gross.
    Cooldavoe@yahoo.com

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  82. Later, she will be complaining when the guy starts to deliver the goody somewhere else! And they still don't have a kid yet oooo

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  83. Lol,no joking here o.am gon have to divorce a wife that does this!!!

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  84. Na wa ooo d wife knw no her duty??

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  85. loooool.....my husband just called me now to view this post!!!!!! I get it love

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    Replies
    1. I just sent the link to my wife

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    2. U mean ur husband doesn't like having sex with u? Wife Swap pls! He can have my wife.

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  86. Lol i love this guy already

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  87. Lmao, that hubby is so pained, lol, and being rational tho I'd think he took the time to do this, cos he's got the time to care

    LIBSYNDROME

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  88. the woman is very stupid if i were her husband i would be packing concubines :P

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  89. The wife should get lesson from Pastor Tony Rapu......... She's just too insensitive

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  90. Mr man, u have no problem.u've had sex 3 times in 2months! Sincerely u shld be celebrating, I know married men dat their wives refused from the beginning of this year till date. Fact!

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  91. Cases like this...just distance yourself from ur wife...and stop asking...she will eventually come begging for it...(Unless the husband is terrible in bed)

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  92. Chei! But na almost every day the man ask o! Marriage no easy o!

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  93. Sex is becoming a serious business ooo @Fortunedexcel

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  94. Lmao..poor dude.

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  95. He shd get a new wife.. no time for cheating.. div and get another

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  96. Nawa,dis sex starvation is too much 2 bear! Slowly u are pushing ur husband out 2 get sex somewhere!

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  97. Chai!!! Konji egbugo nwoke a.. Diarizgod o

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  98. Chai!!! Konji egbugo nwoke a.. Diarizgod o

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  99. Lol. Sorry dude

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  100. Still laughing at diatribe".

    Oya husbands take a clue from this frustrated fellow man. All those excuses given have to be documented for posterity.

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  101. Y the F is he married @ 26??

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  102. Why then is she angry?? Tomorrow u wud say a guy has no reason whatsoever to cheat..mtttcchheeewwww

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  103. I need to create this spreadsheet for my husband. Smh

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  104. that is how this women are always doing. Rubbish people. they are always lyinig so as not to sex ther husbands. rubbish people. god punish all u women that dont wont sex ur husband. rubbish people

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  105. that's same with my wife. may be four times in the last two years.

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  106. Na wa oo.. women are really wicked

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  107. Where is my comment biko

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  108. Is better u make things up with ur husband madam b4 u loose him 2 another woman

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  109. I hope she'll post it online too when she finds another woman in bed with her husband...

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  110. Very funny husband hahahaha cnt stop laughing

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  111. Very hilarious!!

    Moral lessons: ITS NOT ALL ABOUT GETTING MARRIED BUT STAYING MARRIED!!
    This is what I call Married Bachelor.

    #am out of here#

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  112. dis piece is funny,so guy every day of ur life,all u think about is sex,hmm,for.the wife,ur excuses sef,if u were in his shoes,hw wld u feel?

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  113. How to lose a guy in one month!

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  114. If i were him i wouldn't stress myself ni but i will definitely payback....

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  115. Woman..Jst admit it, U r d cause of his frustration. I see no reason Y shouldn't hav sex wit ur hubby 4 ova a mont ova som flimzy dirty xcuses. Som men wuda filed 4 divorce wit d claim they sense infidelity.#26247c63

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  116. Lolll I do it too. Sex is difficult in marriage biko

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    Replies
    1. Fool! Who send you marry?

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  117. lyk seriously d man is really frustrated

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  118. ℓoℓz. Lazy Man. (Linda's Man)

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  119. may i never starve my husband of sex. im starving my guy tho, i think it is better we wait

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  120. Hahahahahahahaha...somehow,they have a point.

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  121. lolz...d man must be heavy wit juice, I feel ur pain

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  122. Haaa! There's problem oooo!!! That's one reason why men cheat!! And later she'll be complaining her husband is cheating on her! Smh. Woman satisfy your man!!!

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  123. Ohhh,poor man,he would end up finding an alternative

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  124. Was he asking her EVERYDAY so he will have something to record in his spread sheet. ***Mrs. D***

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  125. Let's face facts people there are some women facing this exact problem in their marriages, but they can't complain, they are not getting any for months.

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  126. All I van get from this is that the woman is dirty.

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  127. AhhhhAnnnn mrs D how baby nah, I hear say you don born boy.congratulations!!!! God bless your baby and husband.

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  128. although am a married woman with 2 active girls ages 3 and 1 also work full Time and full time housewife I still make sure I allow my hubby whenever he wants and even make the effort to initiate love making sometimes just to balance the relationship no matter how I tired I am. are you sure some other guy is not shining that Congo for her? I tire for some women o. this is enough reason for a guy to cheat.

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  129. Hilarious
    This man is very funny
    None of my business tho




    BORN TO SHINE!!!!

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  130. This just shows how calculating and unforgiving most men can be. The world just has to revolve around their needs. Selfish mofo...did he really settle down to figure out why she was avoiding sex?

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  131. shes absolutely cheating. smh .

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  132. I JUST BUT NEED TO COMMENT ON THIS POST. YOU GUYS ALWAYS LOVE TO BLAME WOMAN FOR LACK ON GOOD SEX IN THE MARRIAGE. WHAT ABOUT HUSBAND THAT IS SELFISH IN LOVEMAKING? DOESNT WANT TO SATISFY THE WOMAN, DOESNT BELIEVE IN FOREPLAY? ALL HE WANTS TO DO IS SATISFY HIMSELF.
    DONT YOU THINK THAT KIND OF WOMAN WOULD RATHER NOT HAVE SEX AT ALL THAN ALWAYS HAVING TO PRETEND AND GET IT DONE WITH. LETS FACE IT, NOT ALL WOMEN GET ORGASM JUST THROUGH PENETRATION.
    LINDA THIS IS A TOPIC WE STILL NEED TO DISCUSS INDEPTH.
    I CAN TELL YOU I ONLY GET ORGASM MAYBE ONCE IN 3MONTHS FROM MY HUBBY.
    I TEND TO MAKE LOVE TO HIM BUT I ALWAYS PRAY ITS OVER BEFORE IT STARTED.

    cheers
    I KNOW HUBBY READS LINDA SOO I AINT GONNA PUT MY NAME *LOL*

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  133. Funny spreadsheets but quit realistic, do you know that's what crashed DORIS SIMEON'S marriage. when get too convenient in marriage that they forget their responsibilities.

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  134. This woman is getting it somewhere. Abi you want make that place close?
    lol

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  135. Some women just don't like Sex. If they had known they woulda stayed away from marriage. Abi, how for do

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  136. So even on her menstrual period days he still wanted to have sex with her???.linda forget u d carry gist for naija.na beta lie mbok na person stay form dis or probably one of ur staff jus so yu wil hv sumtin 2 post$

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  137. you don't ask for sex,device a sexiest way of making your spouse wet all the time. Asking for sex is boring.

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  138. He had sex 3 times that month... and he is always asking every day. He is lucky... the last time I had sex with my wife was in April and that was because she asked for it and she said the time again will be in 6 months time. That is another story for another time.

    This guy should ask what has he done for the woman lately?

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  139. chaii......deris God oooo

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  140. Hello I am work as a social media marketing and data entry operator on Fiverr.
    I will do 2000 youtube views high quality

    ReplyDelete

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the comment writers alone and does not reflect or represent the views of Linda Ikeji.

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