Dear LIB readers: I'm cheating on my husband and I feel no guilt
From a LIB reader:
I've been married for a number of years now with four children and I was a very faithful wife until a few months ago when I discovered that my husband was having an affair with a close family friend. He had cheated on me many times in the past but this particular affair was the last straw. I decided to pay him back. It was supposed to be just that one time, but the affair has been going on for a few months now. My husband has started noticing my constant absence from our home and my distance from the marriage. I've also become very good at lying about my whereabouts. The issue right now is that despite the fact that I love my husband, I feel no guilt whatsoever. I've never even made any move to stop the affair. Does this make me a bad person? Is there any woman out there who can help me make sense of this? I didn't even know I was a woman capable of this. Why don't I feel guilty or care that I'm betraying my husband?
I donnot see dem as disgrace,for they are not the first and will not be the last.Lady let your husband know what's up. Stop the cheating for if he gets to know about it he might out of pride divorse you. S call him for a talk and sort things out for you donnot have a child but four.
simply walk outta the marriage... my opinion tho... i know its hard, but cheating on him wldnt undo what he's done, and trust me when he finds out, u wont like d outcome, so i advise u to stop and let ur husband know u are aware he's cheating on u...
even without feeling guilt, u as a mother, wife and adult should know that wat ur doin is wrong. i suggest u end the affair and try and settle things with ur husband and family if not the lack of guilt on ur side will cost u smthing more.
I am not judging but if you love your husband as you claim you do,you would not be cheating on him. He might have had his affairs in the past but a payback is not the way to go. I will suggest you both communicate more and define the direction the marriage is headed. This is not healthy for both parties and children involved. Stay blessed. Naomi
Dear, i want you to know that 2 wrongs can never make a right. By so doing you cannot put an end to his behaviour, so its better you stop that before it brings chaos into your family. Remember you have children for him. It may later bounce on your wards. Bring your conscience back to life please. Shalom!
hmm I was in your shoes like 2 months ago. You have been "burnt beyond recognition" basically he hurt you where you never thot anyone could reach. That is a new low-(a family friend) might as well have funked my mother!. I wish men understood how embarassing it is to talk to, befriend or sleep with someone you call friend or family especailly if these people respected the relationship. Your husband slapped you right in the face of that friend and that is why u feel no remorse doing what you are doing,. What helped me stop was the passage in the Bible about being a virtuous woman and of course I eventually knew I was sinning big time. Just go back to God. All will work out well
Truth is, men cause a lot of trouble for themselves and spouses. you were not like this, you caught your man checking. not ones, not twice. I have told my boifrnd sevral times sat if we got marries n I caught him cheating, I will also do the same. That is because, I cant kill myself with hypertension and it would certainly make me free. I am a one person lady and that is why it is such a big deal if d oda person I am with is not faithful. Maybe if he notices you are cheating, he would stop to make you stop. God is watching...
Men hate wen u cheat on dem even wen dey ar cheatin call his mum to sit him down and talk to him why you shuld be cryin fake emotional cry-omo-iwo says so..via b.b bold.5
ur behavior is regrettably and sardonically luqubrious woman. Two wrongs dont make a right. By paying him back in his own coin u re breakin ur family apart. If he is knackin outside u pray for him instead of knackin ur own. Think of ur children and stop dis puerile and lugomaki attitude.
I feel this woman. I'm not cheating and neither is my husband but there are times when I just don't give a damn about him because he has been consistently hurtful with words or actions. So there's a place women can go to that makes them desensitized to their spouse's feelings. Though I will say the fact this person is airing this publicly and asking the questions she is asking, albeit anonymously means there is some guilt.
NO, Sometimes an affair puts things in perspective and can be good. Just ask God for forgiveness so you wont go to Hell...Thats all that matters! The End
wow! this is a clear case of "two can play that game" but as the saying goes, two wrongs do not make a right and there's absolutely no right way of doing the wrong thing.
she will have to stop the affair with the boyfriend if she really loves her husband!
I wish I could relate but I can't. I don't think my husband cheats but if I ever find out he is, I won't pay him back by doing the same thing. I think I will only end up getting hurt.
Hmmmm....from my own point of view, two wrongs don't make a right.If both of you are cheating on each other, why stay married? I am really trying hard not to judge you, but I seriously think that your act of vengeance is not right.It's not always that what is good for the goose is good for the gander.Even before you confront your 'husband' about the affair he is having, pray to God for wisdom in the matter&God will surely profer a solution.Meanwhile, stop having affairs, but if you can't, divorce him.Have you two thought about the evils of having multiple partners....HIV/AIDS for example? God bless you as you take the wise decision.
My dear as long as ur happy dats all dat matters,my husband lives in Spain n I recently found out he had 2 kids der after our wedding,right now I hv 2boyfriends n am enjoying dem like crazy I can't leave d marriage cos I got 4kids n ders money so as long as am happy dats all dat matters right now You Only Live Once ooooo
I love u die. U r so realiStic. I'm not married but if my husband cheats den ill see opportuniy 2 fuck d guys iv bn eyeing, as long as my kids r fine and money dey flow!
I FEEL DRAWN TO MAKING THE FOLLOWING COMMENTS; 1. YOU OBVIOUSLY FEEL GUILTY IN UR SUBCONCIOUS THAT' S WHY YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SHARE THIS WITH SOMEONE ELSE. 2. YOU ARE PROBABLY VERY ANGRY WITH UR SPOUSE WHICH HAS MADE U FEEL EMOTIONALLY NUMB. 3. U NEED TO TALK TO GOD IN WHATEVER WAY U CAN AND JUST POUR UR HEART OUT TO HIM BECOS ONLY GOD CAN ACTUALLY HEAL UR HEART AND HELP U DEAL WITH THE PAIN. 4. REMEMBER WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES, WHICH I'M SURE U HAVE REALISED BY NOW.
Ermmmm you do not love your husband. You have a connection and you still care about him. But the fact that u cheated is not love. You where hurt and u paid back in the same coin that's not love. We all make mistakes think about what u want. Is ur lover what u want or ur husband, think carefully. Are u willing to end ur marriage? We all make mistakes seek GOD. You will grow from this and know what to do.
Time heals all. Hopefully, the affairs will grow old for you both and things will get back on track. Know, if you get caught it might be the end. I strongly suggest getting some individual counseling as you attempt to sort things. You say he has cheated several times and you obviously forgave him out of love or to keep the family intact. As the saying goes people do to us what we allow. I'm not pointing at you but dig deeper with the help of a professional then try to encourage him to join counseling if you determine the marriage is worthwhile. Good luck dear try not to stress but do take care of self FIRST!
Woman u need to get back to ur senses b4 u loose ur home. Bet d man out is only giving u pleasure down there..I don't blame u 4 cheating but truly are u happy with ur life? Think bat it
My dear betrayed wife, two wrongs cannot mk a right. U won.t feel any guilt cos its vengeance but d day he finds out... Think about ur kids & 4give him now OK?
Its only natural that you feel no guilt, ur husband has been cheating on you so you don't feel bad, he has done worse than what you are doing now. If your husband was a faithful man, you would have been riddled with guilt. Altho I'll advise you not to cheat on your husband bcos he's cheating on you, you are only cheating urself.
U are not alone my dear, the same thing is happening to me, I love my husband so much but cheating on him gives me that satisfaction knowing that he betrayed me first on multiple occasion... There has never been any sign of guilt on his face, so why should I feel guilty....
U'r not a bad person,just dat u'r mind has convinced u otherwise,u'r only being vengeful. Infidelity is a serious sin in marriage just dat in our society d men c it as their sole ryt. A woman shld sit back n do notin while ha man cheats. But i'd advice 4 d sake of ur children u cut off 4m ur lover.
You are not a bad person. enjoy. I am married too and let me tell you, it is the worst thing ever, full of pretence and lies even when you cannot stand each other. as a woman you take insults and bull shit from the freaking bastard you married. my advice to any single lady out there is do not do it! Marriage is a waste and fairy tales do not exist!
All i can say is 2 wrongs dont make it rite. and you feeling no guilt, is because you are vindicating what you are doing with the fact that he is doing the same thing. I think thats the answer you are looking for.
Linda Ikeji is such a feminist, anything that has to satisfy her "ladyly" ego on why marriage shouldnt be a big deal and a reason to stay single. If you call me an LI hater then you havent been her loyal fan enough to notice every post on 'Dear LIB reader' has to do with marriage & women treated unfairly by their spouse. And no i'm not a man....im a lady in 6" heels :D
Congrats madam!!! You ve officially ruined ur family! A cheating husband n wife? I wonder d type of kids u raising! I know all d overzealous women will scream but d fact still remains a cheating husband is close to normal but a wife? That's an abomination!!!
Where was it written dat its normal 4 a man 2 cheat. Tunero am sure u r 1 of those men dat make women feel like dey r less than men. Its an abomination 4 both men n women. Nobody should cheat on their spouse n if my hubby cheats on me with a close family member like in her case I will cheat on my husband 2 his face n end d marriage cos marriage no b by force as long as u r independent as a woman u shouldn't take shit from any man. Most women stay in unhappy marriages cos dey won't beable 2 take care of their kids on their own if dey leave their husbands
u r just a nuisance if u think payin ur husband back by cheating is the best option..u always being a whore incarnate....u shd hv called ur husband or report him to ur pastor rather dan the step u took...retrace ur steps bitch...
if you no longer feel guilt then you are no longer in love with your husband.you may still love him but you are not in love with him.besides sleeping with someone else just to pay him back makes you as bad as your husband.you are no more righteous than him
De is no righteous man on earth. U dat r talking wat makes u better than her @ d end of d day de is no small sin or big sin its still d same pit of hell u will burn with her
Because u are stupid cheating is not a gurrantee to stop or pay back a cheating husband. Men murder their wifes for this I hope u know. Just pray that ur husband is not a violent person because the day he get to hear this he would nt even think of his . Urs will be the bone of contention & u will suffer it most go & ask ur predessesors their story of how it feels like when once husband knows she is cheating. Ode
You cant love your husband and still cheat on him. The two just dont go together (Cheat and Love) Again you cant pay him back by having an affair because it's your body and reputation you are really destroying. Finally you should have more class than stoop so low (as your husband) by having an affair. Did you even put your kids in consideration when doing this? Who do you think will suffer when this thing comes out and there is a divorce? Definitely the children
Its bad dear,leave God to judge,ok,u r married,u r married,devote ur body to God,and never stop praying,God will touch him one day,ok,pls stop and ask God to forgive u,read mathew 5,27 -32,the warning alone will humble u,forgt dis our human belief of payin baack by cheating on our paterner!people might tink u r fool,buh at d end,u will b d one dancing wit so much joy,face ur children and d little time u v,give it to God,our society is evil,I understand perfectly well wht u r goin tru,but a day will come,u wish u never did,if prayers could change my hubby,den ur case is no big deal!pls stop!I beg u,for even saying it out,u r nt enjoying d adultery cos,if u r,u wount say it dear so u see,it doesn't pay,try smtin else,keep urself busy,ok remain blessed
Even d bible supports a divorce in d case of infidelity. A cheating husband will always remain a cheating husband. If u think ur husband has changed monitor him 4 a week n u will b surprised @ ur findings
Good for you. Ride on sister, ride on. What goes around comes around. One person cannot be using the other as a doormat forever. Most people who do wrong forget that as humans, we are all capable of doing some serious evil. That we do not do it is strictly a matter of choice or out of respect for others or society at large. But when the same people now rub it in our face, we say damn it. I am a married man too and I have never cheated on my wife, even when I have been offered sex with ex-girl friends on a platter of gold. So tell me, if I now find out that the so called wife I have been honouring has been sleeping with other men, do you think I will have any guilt when I subsequently cheat on her? nada. The moral of the story is that do on to others as you want them to do to you - chikenna, May God help us all to be good people to everyone God has put in our life journey so that they do not remember us for the bad things we did to them.
My dear u r on point d Bible says u should Luv ur neighbour as u luv urself if dis man Luvs his wife d way he luvs himself he won't cheat on her knowing dat if she cheats on him 2 he won't like it
You've feel guilt already. Cheating back on him is not the solution to the problem, remember its your body and believe me you are damaging yourself inside much more than you know.
Omo I no blame u oh, but all I can say is that u shud try to remember ur vows, for beTter and for worse. What is bad is bad and I suggest u retrace ur steps, if not for ur husband,at least ur children
Lindastic...if ds is a true story, my take on dis is dt......Two wrongs can neva make a right, somtimes pple make mistakes and need some form of correction, U can help ur hubby retrace his steps not necessarily doin d same thn to get back at him....ur ọ̥n a wrong path and if U continue ds way u wld destroy ur marriage and it would definitely affect ur kids and whosoever ur sleepn wit wldnt marry u, let alone take care of ur kids......Pls go bak home and build ur marriage, women play a major role in binding d home, Invite God into ur home, start now †̥o rebuild urself, family and ur marriage.Wish U d best....Kelss ọ̥n̶̲̥̅̊ point
I don't blame u oh my sister all I can say is remember ur marriage vows for better & for worse and retrace ur steps. If not for ur husband, for ur kids
there is no good reason for a married woman to sleep outside her marriage. only sluts do. if your husband indulges in such act, leave judgement to God, surely in that regards, you will laugh last.
Because u r stupid! What will ur kids think about u? Ode! I feel sorry for women do think cheating on their hubby is payback/revenge. U end up loosing all u've laboured for. Madam "feel no guilty" go on with ur bad self ya hear? Holla us let's knw who won infact let us knw if the whole revenge is served cold saying works
and u r a big fool for insulting her,whatever happened to the man bn faithful too...rubbish!its people like u who ƪƪ blame their wife for their misfortune aft sleeping wit anoda woman who isn't ur wife.....u r the biggest ode
Ma'am, your hubby is a douchebag for being a serial cheat, but you've got to quit that affair & channel your efforts more into your marriage before it's late: Confront him, involve family (preferably parents), counselling (pastor maybe), fuck that close family friend up, feel free to do anything within your means but cheating. Allow yourself the possibility that the reasons you love your husband so much is still strong. Two wrongs they say cannot make a right - Life isn't maths where -ve plus -ve = +ve. Remember that what you're doing right now can't be undone. It's only a matter of time before you'd get caught. Think about the consequences, the kids! The grass might seem green right now that you're getting back at him, but trust me, soon, it'll just turn into a bunch of dirt blowing in your face! All the best.
It is important that in the final analysis, we (as human beings) are mainly the sum of all the free decisions we have taken.
You freely chose to cheat on your husband, slowly turning yourself into a beast incapable of feeling true love. Imagine the kind of person you would have become if, despite the challenges, you remained faithful: you would be happier, and a much better person. Why stoop so low.
Nevertheless, if once you took the decision to cheat, you too can still take the decision to stop cheating, for the sake of your kids. Always remember that the home is as good as the woman. My dear, it has been, it is, and will always be your choice. Choose wisely.
And never forget that every free choice comes with some responsibilities you cannot avoid. Alot of people are going to advise you badly, telling you it's not your fault, after all he started cheating first. Please don't listen to them. Listen to the voice of your suffering conscience, that you have been trying to drown with noise and excuses. The Good Lord wants you to come back like the prodigal son. He is willing and more than able to forgive you. Pls listen to Him.
I will pray for you as you retrace your steps back to the former, beautiful self. Abandon this beast you have become, and enjoy the beauty of the life you were once living.
One practical suggestion: read Psalms 50 to 52 every morning. I promise you happiness, my dear sister. This is from one sister to another.
Ask 4 d grace of God, his grace is sufficient. Under no circumstance should a woman cheat bck on her wife, rather than cheat ask God 2 change ur cheating hubby, only HIM have d power 2 do that.*amrra*
Please don't kill yourself over this ...your husband pushed you to it. First of all you need to stop the affair as in cut the guy off completely, delete his name and number.... ask God for forgiveness but you cannot tell your husband Whatz happened. Just turn a new leaf, put more effort into your kids, if you can continue to show your husband love, by the way is your husband still cheating? And also do you leave in naija or abroad? You need to sit down and do some talking with your husband without mentioning your retaliation affair. I wish you all the best because I have been there before and I know the pain hurt, heartache and all this can cause
maybe bcos you're acting from a state of mind where you have successfully convinced yourself that you are entitled to do the evil you are now doing.
wait until the fruits bounce back at you, as they surely will. that is when you will wonder whether you were in your right mind for even allowing this to happen.
assuming everytime one cheats one has to pay severely and bear extreme pain by undergoing a procedure of having one's heart compressed as if in a heart attack. would you still say bcos he did it you would also?
My dear i can relate with u. sometimes the pain of too much betrayal makes one throw cation to the wind. But your story has hope because you say you still love your husband and i thank God that you do . So i urge you to stop before things get out of hand. He may catch you and the story will change and you will become a cheating wife and the world will judge you forgeting that betrayal you had to contend with. Put a stop now. for the sake of your home and your children.The Good Lord is your strenght!
Dis is sad...trust me wen I say u dnt L♥√ع ur husband anymre if u feel no guilt,u r jst used to been arnd him n cnt leave ur home cos of wat pple will say...
U have given up on the marriage,indirectly....I feel ur pain dear..Buh u can work on ur marriage,dnt confront ur hubby,cos u are also as guilty as he is,even though he started it..As God to forgive u,and also forgive urself,then put in lots of effort to work on ur marriage..May God help you.
stories lyk dis make me afraid of marriage.men cnt kip their dicks in their pants tufia! woman pls 4 d sake of ur children stop it.2 wrongs cnt make a right
You read the book think like a man. I commend you for paying him back but it's time to end that, not because he deserves any better but so that you can reconcile with God. A lot of men choose to dishonour and disregard vows they made before God. It is God that will judge them all on the last day. There is no polygamous nature in heaven! Just this week I heard of a man diagnosed with HIV and he is not planning to tell his wife. His whole family is keeping his secret. What a wicked world. If you choose to continue, hope you can provide for 4 kids alone cause aint no child support in our system
Not going to sit & judge cos I don't know the emotions that you are going through. I don't blame you either! I had this discussion with my friend yesterday that any man that blatantly disrespects his wife by committing physical/sexual adultery does not deserve the continued love and support of his wife! Crucify me if you want but that is my opinion. That being said, as a lady with self respect, dignity & class, things your husband is ignoring while out whoring, I think you should call him to order and let him know he is destroying your home with his affairs. Do NOT confess to your indiscretion o!!!! *Try and rekindle the love that you guys brought into the marriage. *Plan a weekend getaway, buy some lingerie or even just a silky nightie. *Don't talk about the kids or work during this time together, focus on pleasing each other and fulfilling all needs and wants, whether emotional or sexual. *If you've packed on baby weight, try and go on a diet, encourage him to go on a diet with you too in case he is the one with a beer gut. * Be adventurous in bed, matter of fact don"t limit sex to the bed alone. *Most importantly RECONNECT with each other. There was something about him that made you say yes and marry him. ***Stepping off my soapbox***
Pls stop cheating on ur hubby n start praying for God to change him, wot u re doing is very wrong even if he cheats on u wiv ur sister. Wot u re doing can destroy ur home n even ur kids, pls change n run back to God
Unforgiveness made you do what you are doing. The devil has set in that is why you are very comfortable at this. he is beginning to eat deep into you, the earlier you stop it, the better. Two wrongs can't make a right. allow the spirit of God change and lead you to the right path. Please come out of it, that's adultery and its not healthy.
I'm 29.I got married a virgin at the age of 23,immediadely after aquiring my M.BA.I've got 3 kids and 2 weeks ago,I had a mis-carriage at 17 weeks of gestation.I found out that while I was at the hospital,getting the remnants of the fetus I just mis-carried evacuated,my hubby was busy banging his colleague....I cannot judge you,I'm sure a lot of LIB commentors will,cos I KNOW I'll either have an affair soon,to get my mind of this nasty man I married or get a divorce.
You feel no guilt cause you still believe your actions are justified. But would be a good idea that you forgive your husband and the family friend with your whole heart and let bygones be bygones before the issue gets out of your control. Another thing to consider is that perhaps, you are holding onto the love you had for your husband and not what you currently feel for him.
U̶̲̥̅̊ don't pay back by having an affair outside its a sin G̶̲̥̅̊Ø̸̸̨̲̣̣D̶̲̥̅. Despise dat U̶̲̥̅̊ better stop it and ask for forgiveness. β a good wife nd pray for your husband τ̲̅ȍ change. Not by going out τ̲̅ȍ sleep with someone else М̣̣̥̇̊Ɣ gosh dats disgusting. U̶̲̥̅̊ beta change woman
What you're going through is what mant women go through, the only difference being your boldness and frankness to address the matter albeit anonymously. we are a society that frowns on divorce, scorns divorced women yet 'double-standardly' accepting a man's infidelious nature. what i feel is that your husband's cheating with the close family friend was essentially the straw that broke the camels back. while not applauding your decision to seek satisfaction outside your matrimonial home, i do not condemn you either. we have but one live to live, whatever makes you happy, must be paramount. i do have to say though that should your husband find out, which in all likelyhood he will, your beautiful children stand to lose the most. growing up in a broken home is not fun, i can personally attest. search yourself, make bold decisions and lastly, ensure that when your head rests on your pillow at night, it does so with lightness and contentment from being happy and fulfilled. god bless you.
Hmm tough one. All is welll and will be well. JESUS loves you and He wants teh best for you. I can imagine how you must be feeling but you need to stop the affair. Adultery is a sin and there are many consequences but our GOD is merciful and forgiving. Right now the affair you are having is giving you pleasure but it is only temporary. It will lead to a terrible end eventually and so please you need to end it before it gets so. You probably feel justified because of your husbands indiscretions but that is still not an excuse. You are exposing your family to all sorts of attacks continuing the affair. Its probably difficult for you to do so but through Christ you can do all things. Open up to Him and tell Him to help you and to help your marriage. That is the only way forward. i would endeavour to include you in my prayers. It is well. Read John chapter 4v1-20. God will give you rivers of living water springing up to eternal life. Once you drink thsi water, you will never thirst again. Only HE can fill teh void hat know man can fill. Look to JESUS your helper
I've walked in those shoes before. After 2 kids, I found out my husband had cheated with his colleague at work, and I cheated back. I also felt absolutely no guilt and enjoyed thoroughly the affair while it lasted. My husband found out and all hell broke loose. It turned out he couldn't take what he was dishing out. Our marriage nearly packed up but we found a way out of the mess. I forgave him and was ready to re-dedicate myself to the marriage. He however found it harder to do the same. As at today, the marriage is almost back to normal but it took a lot of effort on both parts.
It was a terrible period in my marriage. I regretted that I had allowed him push me into something I'd probably not do on my own.
You are not necessarily a bad person. You are human and the feeling that you have been betrayed that way could bring out traits you never knew you had.
My advise to you is to stop the affair, not because of the fact that you might get caught but to stay true to yourself. Talk to your husband and make him see how his adultery is affecting you. If he doesn't change, you have a decision to make. AIDS IS REAL
No matter how many times your husband cheated on you,you will be blamed for infidelity if you are caught.Cheating on your husband is not a sure way of resolving this issue.You have to respect yourself as a woman.Pls put a stop to it,you will only ruin your home.What of if your husband is by now planning to change his ways?
You do not feel guilty because you are angry about the fact that your husband cheated on you or is still cheating on you. You are set out on revenge and might get hurt in the process. Just start by trying to forgive your husband and let go! You love him and you have four kids for him so think about that.
One thing I'd say is, pay back isn't the answer. If you live in Nigeria where MALE marital affairs is part of the "married man" package, then unfortunately you kinda have to deal with it OR leave! To answer your question, you don't feel any guilt because you are trying to fill a void, ride off anger and frustration etc. Yet like they say, two wrongs don't make a right - (in the ideal world *wink*)
no dear i don't think you are a bad woman... your husband created this monster ....why should you even bother with LIB advisers ??have you seen any cheating man coming here for advice??
this is intense, as a woman i dnt think its a ryt tin to do. you need to sit down and talk with your husband. if ur nt contented den u dissolve d marriage
2 wrongs can never make a right. Your husband is definitely wrong cheating on you but your carrying on with an affair just makes it easier for your marriage to breakup. Imagine the shame you will feel if you get caught or it comes out you have been cheating on your husband (unfortunately society treats cheating wives differently from husbands). Also think of your children (if u have any) as well as your family and friends. If you continue this affair, it will ultimately end up badly for you. My advice is that you stop the affair immediately and beg God for forgiveness, next call your husband and tell him you sense he has been cheating on you and he needs to stop to avoid pushing you to do the same. If he doesn't stop, seek marriage counselling.
FIRST OF ALL, IM NOT MARRIED, BUT I UNDERSTAND THE DYNAMICS (TO AN EXTENT)
I ALSO UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS WHEN THE PERSON YOU LOVE HURTS YOU...ITS MORE THAN PAINFUL. BUT LET ME BE HONEST WITH YOU...WHAT YOUR DOING IS NOT RIGHT, AND WOULD ONLY PUT YOU IN MORE TROUBLE AND FEEL MORE PAIN THAN THE TIME YOU FOUND OUT ABOUT HIS DEEDS
AS MUCH AS IT HURTS, OUR SOCIETY IS BUILT UPON THE MAN, IN THE END THEY WIN, BUT IN SITUATIONS LIKE THESE, IF YOU STAY WISE YOUD COME OUT ON TOP.
CHEATING IS NOT THE WAY. 1) HE WILL DEFINITELY... DEFINITELY FIND OUT (THE SAME WAY YOU FIND OUT ABOUT HIS- APART FROM THAT MEN ARE SMARTER AT THESE GAMES)
2)HIS EGO, WILL NOT ALLOW HIM TO KEEP YOU AS A WIFE, EVERYONE WOULD LOOK AT YOU LIKE THE BAD WIFE, HE MAT REMARRY, AND WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOUR CHILDREN.
3) YOU WOULD BE THE LOOSER....YOUR ALREADY IN THIS SITUATION, AND I HATE TO SOUND SPIRITUAL AND ALL...BUT YOU SHOULD TAKE IT TO GOD.
4)CONFRONT HIM..AND THE FAMILY FRIEND(ESPECIALLY)
5)LASTLY, ITS NOT THAT YOU DONT CARE, YOUVE GOTTEN TO THE POINT THAT YOUR IMMUNE, BUT UNLIKE VACCINES, THE EMOTIONS OF A HUMAN BEING ARE HIGHLY UNSABLE, NEXT WEEK YOU MAY BE SAYING SOMETHING ELSE.
6) UNFORTUNATELY YOUR NOT THE FIRST TO HAVE A CHEATING HUSBAND AND NEITHER WILL YOU BE THE LAST....BUT IF YOU LOOK AT ALL THE WISE ONES...THEY HELD ONTO THEYRE HOME AND DIGNITY...BY BEING FAITHFUL...WHICH IN THE END ...GOD ALWAYS REWARDS.
As a woman,ur not ment to du such,take heart nd love ur childern nd bring dem closer to you,nd keep lovin your husband,dats wat ur ment to du as a wife nd mother,adultry is a sin.
Be honest with yourself...YOU just want to fulfill a fantasy. you probably wanted to cheat on your husband all the while but the opportunity never presented itself. I guess now you have a toaster that is ready to spice up your boring life. My point is a virtous woman will always be virtous,no matter what the circumstance. So can go ahead and decieve yourself that its because your husband is cheating and that you are justified in paying him back the same way. Most women push their husbands to other women and then blame the man. No time for introspection..no time to retrace and seee what went wrong. Like they say 'blame it on the rain..just dont put the blame on you'. Enjoy..at least our pastors do it so WTF!!!
And you are as dumb s f**k...women do not push men to it, a Show a woman love and affection and she's all your...cheat on her and in her face and you are breaking her slowly... please be strong my sister and end what you have with this other man
I agree. A virtuous woman would never cheat. Especially after 4 kids. Where does she even want to start to find man? Truth is u hav always had it in you.
Your story only shows that you are enjoying the banging from your co-adulterer. And that you are a b**ch is just an understatement.
So, the fact that your husband is sleeping with another woman prompted you to be opening up your legs all about like a dog? Mrs. Animashaun....pls dont even get us started about loving him!
Next story please. I am done with this adulterer.
Linda, if you like don't upload my comment...shogbo!
Its obvious u dont luv ur husby anymore since u dont care if he gets 2 kno.why dont u sit him down n discus n salvage ur marriag since u claim 2 stil luv him.
When you don't feel any guilt anymore then the love is gone from your marriage. When you love your partner, the question of cheating should not arise. You have been betrayed several times but this is now way to revenge. It might cliché but if you want to give your marriage a chance, stop the affair now, talk to your huusban about how you can bring the romance back, if he is not going to change then am afraid you have to make the decision whether you still want to stay in this marriage. Wishing you best of luck
Well,I hate to sound preachy preachy cos dere's no perfect person,but even though I'm a staunch advocate of 'what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander',how does ur cheating on your husband to spite him change anything?Payback is a bitch,aye?But it in these parts,I doubt if they work.Find outlets to vent,if you need to,and deal with it somehow,I dunno.Its looking to me that those who get married in these times?Just sign up for anything:the good the bad,the ugly;predominantly the latter...abi wetin I for talk nah?Marriage these days tire me oh!As a single mum,fear dey catch me!My two cedis and pesewas...
Did u eva confront him when u found out? u may have developed a malicious hatred towards him and u r hurting urself.Payback will hurt u more cos the damage seems to be tilting towards ur side, the present state u r is like living a lie. please ask God to help u forgive urself and forgive ur husband. The Kids should not suffer for these errors.Have a rethink and let this phase passover.
*sigh* men just don't know when to stop. i'm not sure i can forgive a man that cheats on me with anyone close either but i think when it gets to the point that you're cheating and not feeling guilty anymore, it's time to end it, harsh i know but there's just one rather short life we have to live and one mustn't live it unhappy.
you heart is hardened that's y u feel no guilt.bt an advice.....two wrongs won't make it right neither will one. A wise lady builds her home, a foolish one destroys it. Ask urself, d affair I'm having now, does it make me happy? Does it stop my husband from cheating? What is my goal?. U r in2 d same deal with him, I can bet u, there is no justification. Y not pray for him always?with God all things r possible.
Its quite obvious u no longer love ur hubby cos dats when daring acts come in. U only think u still love him bt u don't. My advice is for u to find that "spark" dat once existed btw u two. I knw u dint ask for advice bt ds is what I can say. No one is perfect! We only try to work towards perfection. Slikky.
I tink u av dcided not to forgiv him n pay him bak coz of d tinz he has done in d past.but I bliv u shud open ur hearts to each oda.we re afrikans n at d end of d day,d woman wud b blamd.pray God 24giv u n end ur affair.sin is a chain by d tym u no it,ur home wud b 4eva gone.....nekkyville
Two wrongs dont make a right. Yur husband new he cheated on you, do u know how bad he feels or felt. Ur actions are wrong. Unfortunately its a mans world a man can cheat and get a way with it and it doesnt make it right, but a woman, will probably face the disgrace of a lifetime. What will ur children remember u for, if it all comes out. Its not about u now, its about ur children and the legacy u leave for them. IF u want them to remmber u with this act then go on bcos at the rate u are going u will soon be found out and if u dont want them with this memory of u then stop. If u love ur children and yes u say u love ur husband then please let me ask you what are u really doing? what do u stand to gain? So uve paid ur husband in his own coin then what? Think about ur iife, and make the right choices. We are a result of the choices we make in life, which will it be for u? Linda oya i hope u post this.
I feel you, I hope you read this. I can totally understand where you are coming from. I too have been tempted and exposed to cheating on my husband with my first love who is now married but I did not because of God's grace.I am sure you had enough that is why you are cheating and of course feel no guilt because you feel happy and relieved. It is a tough one, but when you are exposed to an wicked man like I was who all he did was call me names, BITCH, THIEF, Ashawo what type of response does he expect to get. I almost starting fighting the son of a BITCH, even did at times, but realised I was becoming someone else( a bitter soul). The last straw was when I heard he was cheating on me with one ugly monkey he took out.I sometimes wonder what he wanted to do with the creature.Pornography, going to club with his useless wretched friends and gyrating with oyibo akata babes. Plus when he comes home I will not hear word, so so Bitch, foke u and so forth.It is a tough decision but my advice to u you is to seek God, let him help you and comfort you. Because you know adultery is a sin and you will not want to be on God's bad side, love urself and invest in the kids. Pray for him to come out of his confusion, if he doesn't seek counseling, make sure you do not get HIV from him. Remember u did not come to this world with him, your well being is paramount bcos of the kids. Stop cheating, bcos that pleasure is temporal. If u do not feel him anymore (your husband) ask for a divorce and move on.
I understand how u feel.its really painfulwhen u get to know ur husband's cheating on u.I have been married for 4yrs now$found out 2yrs ago that my husband cheats on me.I made up my mind recently that if he doesn't stop,I'm just gonna walk away for my childrens'sake $for my sanity.cheating on your man wld not solve d problem.don't make a human like u sin against god.I'm a Muslim$according to my faith,my reward is not with my husband but from my creator.u r so wrong.just pray to god to forgive u,heal ur broken heart$pls decide how u wanna move on.cheating wld only compound ur problems
hmmmmm...wat can i say many women re in this position right now...including myself and i think am about goin down dat part!! its very painful after u must have talked about it and d talking seems to be doing no good..some husbands actually push deir once faithful wife into dis..just make peace wit ur God cos thruthfully no man is worth the stress..be strong sis..
Not cool,u can still retrace ur steps! I'm nt married but my ex was a dog,he cheated on me wit very close friends as well (so I understand how u feel). I cheated on him wit another ex,nt even a new guy and I didn't feel any better,(would never do that again,its no pain killer) so I told him and broke off the engagement. As for u,I'm nt saying u should confess oh!just break off the affair!and ask God for forgiveness
U no why u feel like dis bcos to u its was pay back time but let's be honest here in africa even if a man cheats its kk but for a woman d world will look down on u. Pls stop watever u are doing before it gets out of hands ur children first and then ur home I will say u speak wit ur friend one one to stay off ur husband's back. Sori abt all dis but dnt destroy ur own home wit ur hands
hmm... My sister,cheating on ur husband cos he cheated on you,brings you down to his low level.end that relationship u are having outside your marriage and have a heart to heart discussion with your husband.he is ur husband,and u still love him just as u mentioned,so try and work out your relationship,dont bring yourself down to his level.if it wont work out bween u two,then u move on with ur life and have a normal healthy relationship with another man......make sure u get custody of ur children!!
that my dear is becouse the marriage is over but you are still in denial, the moment u casn bed another guy with out guilt for the one u luv then smtin my luv is lost......women arent built like men dat can cheat without their emotion and still foolishly calim they luv u....women can hardly cheat or even sleep with a guy based on just the physical (not talking abt whores now) talking abt real women and if the discription of ur self in this blog is ryt then u dnt strike me as the type dat wud just shag another man over n over again even if it was for payback......phewwww so my dear dat tells u dat ur emotions for ur marriage n hubby are slowly fadding now dats d ugly truth take it or leave it. my advice to u is to call ur hubby and address ur marriage either fix it or free it b4 u get cought n stabbed to death or made to walk round lagos nude like one of the freak stories we hear....lool did i just hear u say u husband wud nvr do dat if he catches you lmao looolll did u guys hear her. get real love. all in all it is well. btw ur hubby doesnt desrve u justsaying* madam linda paste my comment o
use husband is cheating..he suffers the consequences both from God and he could get an STD..u do the same?u sin against GOD as well and what if u also have tragic consequences...stop cheating on him..refrain from it.and he'd bear the consequences alone..just make sure your hands are clean and then let God do the rest
My dear,you should not have decided to pay back by having an affair.there many stragegies out there that you would have used to make him pay for his mistakes.have d fear of God in you so that you can stop that affair Love conquers all
I do not think that your husband's infidelity is what pushed you into this if that is a likely justification. Your values should be what matters, by religious and social measures, what you are doing is wrong even if you do not feel guilty about it. Maybe your conscience is severed or your execuse for indulging in it is pseudo justifying you. Will your four children be proud to call you mother if they find out? You should be better than this, cheating is such a cheap thing, get off it please!
Loads n loads of women re in ur shoes but trust me cheating back is ur sin...it can never be punishment for him. Like me I have decided that I can't handle my husbands cheating anymore so I am moving on ..... He has no idea but one day I will be gone. I think I am exposed to too much...HIV, stds"" n all the other bullshit I can possible get from his cheating ways. It's not much about the emotional part it's more of what I am exposed to. So ppl out there that would say only a foolish woman walks away from a cheating man are the foolish ones. Husband can't buy life. Bottom line....madam stop cheating n move the hell on.
Perharps you don't love him any more as you claim otherwise. But then I hate to tell you this, just because he cheated on you does not necessarily give you the freedom to do the same.
Should you because he fornicated then have the leeway to throw away all of God's instructions against adultery? Your salvation matters most not your betrayed emotions and trust. I hate to sound sermonizing but it's just the truth.
You now seem to be enjoying the thrill and I know how it can be, fun. But what happens when the bubble bursts? No one not even your own family members will feel that you were justified. Unfortunately, you'll get the wrong end of the stick.
Advise? STOP IT NOW!!!. You have made your point to yourself ok? Now ask God for forgiveness and garner the strength from him to cut off all links from secret lover. Do this, for yourself, for your kids who may be embarassed in future from the mess this can become and finally do it for fear of God.
My friend please do not cheat anymore. Stop at once and speak to your husband about his affair. Pray to God for forgivns because it will affect your home and kids after. Not now, but after. God is ready to accept you back. What you are doing now is sweet but the payment is sickness/death. Also the man that you are sleeping with is destroying his soul. That's what the bible says (proverbs 6.32). Please, change so you do not die or your kids falling sick. God will forgive you if u stop. Talk to God about your husband and he will change him. Maybe he has not changed your husband because in your mind, u have been thinking on how to pay him back rather than praying for him. Talk to God and he will answer you. Cry to him. God will change him and make your marriage sweet again as you change IJN.
The issue here is unfortunate,your husband has cheated on you, too bad. but let me say here, your pay back was not the best form of pay back, if your husband decided to go the way of the devil, must you follow suit? now you have tested and you are stuck,pray that God should release you from this bondage of sin. you have gotten four beautiful kids, what else are you looking for.please don't get me wrong, i am not in support of what your husband did, we should remember God when this temptation comes our way . let us learn to be patient and forgiven, even the guy you are sleeping with presently, is he ready to marry you, the answer is no, just having the better part of you.if you break your marriage now, after four kids, when are you going to start all over. no matter the situation try and stick to your marriage.
I have been there before,two month into my marriage,i found out my friend got pregnant for my ex,i just walked out of the two months marriage because i couldn't stand the shame.Today i'm the happiest woman on earth.Pray to God to forgive you n to show you the way.
what is good for the goose is good for the gander. our society is what makes these men think they can get away with anything. ive been cheated on and i know how bad it hurts when u put ur all into a relationship/marriage and the man who claims to love you puts his sexual desires first. women also have sexual desires but tend to put the relationship/marriage first. there's no excuse for men not to do same. sis.. have fun n enjoy.. u can all apologise and forgive each other later.. after being hurt ive made up my mind to do same if i ever have hard evidence of any yeye man cheating on me..tit for tat is a fair exchange
My dear high 5! One time, I forgive. Twice, I move on... Wed both apologise later! Half of the women here are being cheated on by their husbands, that why they'd abuse the writer for not bottling her bitterness like they do. Keep loving your cheating husbands, when he gives u HIV, keep loving...na u love 1st
That's what u think..tit for Tar but at the end of the day;u still leave hurt Don't deceive yourself..rather than do same,divorce him and move on..you'd find someone who'd appreciate u
Wow...whenever someone asks for advice here we are quick to judge,render abusive words and say inappropriate stuffs towards them, which is so wrong. My advice to you is to pray and ask God for direction. No one is perfect
Stop it woman, so that you would not regret later in life! Forget your husband wrong doing remember your children and focus on them, this is the time they need you most as a mother.
Oh please... What makes it ok for a man to cheat? because they are stupid to do it does not mean it should be tolerated. Adultery is adultery!!!Men hurt women's feelings when they sleep around like dogs and it is 100000% ok to pay them back by cheating on them. why should women be neglected and made to feel depressed! society or not cheating men should be paid back.... shikena!!!
My contribution is simple, Let men be men and women be women...Men pride their selves based on material achievements and economic stability as well as being able to care for his family, while Women pride their selves on Decency and the ability to keep the home together.. Truth be said, until women believe this bitter truth, these kind of problems will keep coming up and finally if a woman chooses to live a reckless life becos her husband cheats on her, she will be longed expired and withered while the man rocks on... Be wise women..Ojay simpson
Sad but not uncommon. To do the same thing he is doing means you are no better, and unfortunately, in the society we live in, it is highly unlikely that people would take to your side. please stop it now! tell him you know about his and confess yours, then fate will take its course. the lord is your strength
Sooo.... Your husband has been insulting you by cheating on you and you decide to expose yourself to another man for future insult and see-finish? Tsk Tsk.
anon5.08..ur advice brought tears to my eyes cos i almost went the way you did but God held me back....hmmmmm...yeah and it was for my kids sake i held back
Men no go zip their trousers or wear iron pants,and if a woman is not godly she will lose her dignity as a married woman..Madam adultery will trigger the problems the more,put everything to God in prayers,be strong because of your children.
FIRST OF ALL!!! " Her toto will peel....shameless dog" Like really?... that person is damn right Stupid.... Of all the advice...going spiritually or not...that is the best ur undeveloped brain can come up with?...sad much and I cant even pity the friends u have probably had to help advice, its their fault for being a friend of urs... "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."- Jesus
As for the LIB Reader, Talk to your husband there is a reason God has brought u guys this far and blessed you with children...whether he listens or not play your role as a God fearing wife and God will bless ur hand work and ask God to forgive cuz out of everyone u need him to stand by you at this time Still love your husband, make the dinner, dress up good for him when u need to...
And whenever it crosses your mind how much your husband is hurting you GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY...That's why we have him (God) He knows we cant carry everything alone...
Like someone earlier said, be true to urself as a mother and as a wife.
Its painful if your husband cheats countless times and sees no wrong in it.
Whats more painful are the stupid comments here about how its ok for a man to cheat... Even women say all sorts of negative things to you cos they're going thru d same thing, enduring the pain, living a lie and deceiving themselves that they're only staying because of the children meanwhile they're miserable but can't find a way out..... Men, please listen up, its not a man's world - not in that sense - only a beast hurts a human and feels no remorse, cheating on your wife makes you a heartless soul, totally emotionless and selfish - nothing, no matter what your friends say, can make it right or justifiable...
Please seek help with a marriage counselor and let your husband go with you if you really want to salvage your marriage... you don't feel guilt because you've been hurt to the point where you feel emotionally disconnected and detached from your husband, but you've got a conscience thats why u sent this and truthfully, like the saying goes 'if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't -
Get help (spiritual and psychological), talk to him about it, be true to yourself, decide for yourself what's most important, be willing to go through the transformation process even if its painful and make a decision you're sure you can live with... Ultimately, the ball is in your court, play it wisely... God help you and give you strength... Cheers!
Dear married sister.take it to the lord in prayer.cheating is wrong so that at the end of the day when u pray u can tell God u r clean n pure of adultery so his wrath can fall upon ur husband,when ure stained what ground can u stand on.u r no different from him rite nw.to God there is no he did it first,sin is sin regardless of who started it.For d sake of ur kids try make ammends in ur marriage.I am married n pray neva to experience such cos I dnt knw hw ill take it.It is well.
I can't believe some comments here! some people are so stupid! okorodudu, omo baba, atawewe and all u idiots that have nothing sensible and productive to say then just shut up! she doesn't need your imbecile answers! long hiss!
Wen I hear wat women go thru all in d name of marriage,I'm rili scared of marriage.Majority of married women commentin hia r sayin dey r experiencin d same tin,is it not possible 2 find a decent man again,marriage scares d hell out of me o,cos vry lil tins can mk me emotionally unstable.God hlp us.
Two wrongs can never make a right. You cannot get even with your husband by sleeping with another man. When a couple quarrels, the children suffer. You cannot be any different from your husband if it ever occurred to you to sleep with another man just to get even with him. If you were a woman of integrity, you would have asked for divorce the very moment you confirmed that he is cheating on you. That way, you leave the marriage with clean hands. I would go ahead and ask for a divorce, but bear in mind that you cannot rely on infidelity as a justification for divorce since you are also guilty of infidelity.
Please if you have never been married don't throw stone don't call her a slut or an ashawo who are you to call her names. Most times when a spouse cheats the first thought that comes to your mind is to repay the spouse by cheating back which is only natural but it takes strength and will not to. I advise you to seek God's help repent and ask your husband to follow you to couple's counselling both of you desperately need it dear.
Anonymous 7:53...Oh please prevent urself from being the most ignorant person on earth...when someone says "keep loving your husband" Who is talking about sex(referring to ur HIV comment)...it's people like u that no nothing about love rather equate it to sex/lust... Pathetic!
Anonymous 7:53...Oh please prevent urself from being the most ignorant person on earth...when someone says "keep loving your husband" Who is talking about sex(referring to ur HIV comment)...it's people like u that no nothing about love rather equate it to sex/lust... Pathetic!
My dear men always remains cheaters,so you would have taking it as one of those things men does to their wives;so you should't have pay him back by cheating on him,so I think you did a wrong thing.there's a lots of other punishments as you want to pay back.
My dear men always remains cheaters,so you would have taking it as one of those things men does to their wives;so you should't have pay him back by cheating on him,so I think you did a wrong thing.there's a lots of other punishments as you want to pay back.
Uhmm still trying to figure out how 2 wrongs can make a right.....hmmmmm.....scratching my beard. Well here's my 2cents: NEVER USE SEX TO SETTLE SCORES
My dear men always remains cheaters,so you would have taking it as one of those things men does to their wives;I know is so painful you would have controlled your anger,but at the same time you should't have pay him back by cheating on him,so I think you did a wrong thing.there's a lots of other punishments as you want to pay him back.
♍Ɣ dear I understand U̶̲̥̅̊, I have been dr b4, ♍Ɣ husband threats ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥ like a piece of rag, he has no single L♥√ع or respect for ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥, he comes home late , finds fault i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ everything I do, dn I might someone who was always there for ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥, adores α̲̅πϑ respect ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥, and gives ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥ advice, I could talk with him for hrs something I hv never done with ♍Ɣ husband, b4 I knew it I slept with him a couple of times. But I realised what I was doing was wrong, dn I stopped and asked God for forgiveness, α̲̅πϑ I will never go down that road again. I deleted d man's phone numbers α̲̅πϑ told him I can't continue anymore. I don't regret cheating on ♍Ɣ husband bcos he still threats ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥ badly , I only regretted sinning b4 God. ♍Ɣ dear just stop it for ΰя own peace of mind α̲̅πϑ leave revenge for God.
u r are hurting, that's why u feel the need to prove to him that 2 can play the game. Advice will be to weigh ur pros and cons and be prepared for the best and worst outta this and most especially consider the ones u love most ur kids and if u realise after visualising the end or what u wanna gain, u will find the answer. which u already know and it dwells in your heart. Most of all be grateful to God and seek him for guidance.
Why would anyone bother asking LIB readers for advice.... smh... All I will say is think about ur kids.. Is it better for them to see u unhappy in your marriage or ?
my dear,i know wat u re going through but cheating on ur husby is not d main thing, jux end d cheating n let him know dat u re aware dat he is cheating on u n u have to be strong for ur children.
firstly, no one has the right to judge this woman, most of you do the same thing either single or married. na who talk am out una wan kill??? yet u all are guilty of the same thing. that said, realistically, it is normal to feel that urge to revenge wen the people we love hurt us over and over again, and most times, its not like u don't feel guilty, instead u suppress your guilt cos u are hurting. but then 2 wrongs don't make a right. if u really cherish your marriage for the sake of your children (not for any dirty love), u need to call yourself back to order. not bcos u are a married woman and d society expects u to be virgin mary blah, blah blah ( oh pls!!)..... yet the same society encourage men to go hay wire (typical nigerian mentality), but more like u want your marriage to work, and you are sane enough to calm down and fix it.
What a bunch of hypocrites!!!! You feel no guilt cause you have built a wall around your feelings! Please don’t take notice of the other comments that judge you harshly they will do so behind the protective internet wall BUT they WE all have secrets and WE ALL fall one way or another! Please I am talking from experience its not easy for a woman to have an affair and not get hurt! We connect through emotions and can’t handle the fact that men are just interested in easy sex! Your affair is not based on love and few develop into anything serious. Don’t make any major decisions now just step back and think!!! Spend more time thinking about you and you will find the ans. Chin up, n best wishes PS Do not trust anyone with this secret people are very indiscrete with other peoples secrets and never admit to anything if accused!!!
You are a slut whore ... And your husband is a man whore raised to power 16!!! both of you are a disgrace to the human race and morally irresponsible!
ReplyDeleteI donnot see dem as disgrace,for they are not the first and will not be the last.Lady let your husband know what's up. Stop the cheating for if he gets to know about it he might out of pride divorse you. S call him for a talk and sort things out for you donnot have a child but four.
Deletesimply walk outta the marriage... my opinion tho... i know its hard, but cheating on him wldnt undo what he's done, and trust me when he finds out, u wont like d outcome, so i advise u to stop and let ur husband know u are aware he's cheating on u...
ReplyDeleteNothing do you. do me i do you God no vex.
ReplyDeleteeven without feeling guilt, u as a mother, wife and adult should know that wat ur doin is wrong. i suggest u end the affair and try and settle things with ur husband and family if not the lack of guilt on ur side will cost u smthing more.
ReplyDeleteI am not judging but if you love your husband as you claim you do,you would not be cheating on him.
ReplyDeleteHe might have had his affairs in the past but a payback is not the way to go.
I will suggest you both communicate more and define the direction the marriage is headed.
This is not healthy for both parties and children involved.
Stay blessed.
Naomi
Dear, i want you to know that 2 wrongs can never make a right. By so doing you cannot put an end to his behaviour, so its better you stop that before it brings chaos into your family. Remember you have children for him. It may later bounce on your wards. Bring your conscience back to life please. Shalom!
ReplyDeletehmm I was in your shoes like 2 months ago. You have been "burnt beyond recognition" basically he hurt you where you never thot anyone could reach. That is a new low-(a family friend) might as well have funked my mother!. I wish men understood how embarassing it is to talk to, befriend or sleep with someone you call friend or family especailly if these people respected the relationship. Your husband slapped you right in the face of that friend and that is why u feel no remorse doing what you are doing,. What helped me stop was the passage in the Bible about being a virtuous woman and of course I eventually knew I was sinning big time. Just go back to God. All will work out well
ReplyDeleteYawn.
ReplyDeleteTruth is, men cause a lot of trouble for themselves and spouses. you were not like this, you caught your man checking. not ones, not twice.
ReplyDeleteI have told my boifrnd sevral times sat if we got marries n I caught him cheating, I will also do the same.
That is because, I cant kill myself with hypertension and it would certainly make me free.
I am a one person lady and that is why it is such a big deal if d oda person I am with is not faithful.
Maybe if he notices you are cheating, he would stop to make you stop.
God is watching...
Men hate wen u cheat on dem even wen dey ar cheatin call his mum to sit him down and talk to him why you shuld be cryin fake emotional cry-omo-iwo says so..via b.b bold.5
ReplyDeletehmmmmm..... same here
ReplyDeleteur behavior is regrettably and sardonically luqubrious woman. Two wrongs dont make a right. By paying him back in his own coin u re breakin ur family apart. If he is knackin outside u pray for him instead of knackin ur own. Think of ur children and stop dis puerile and lugomaki attitude.
ReplyDeleteI feel this woman. I'm not cheating and neither is my husband but there are times when I just don't give a damn about him because he has been consistently hurtful with words or actions. So there's a place women can go to that makes them desensitized to their spouse's feelings. Though I will say the fact this person is airing this publicly and asking the questions she is asking, albeit anonymously means there is some guilt.
ReplyDeleteNO, Sometimes an affair puts things in perspective and can be good. Just ask God for forgiveness so you wont go to Hell...Thats all that matters! The End
ReplyDeletewow! this is a clear case of "two can play that game" but as the saying goes, two wrongs do not make a right and there's absolutely no right way of doing the wrong thing.
ReplyDeleteshe will have to stop the affair with the boyfriend if she really loves her husband!
I wish I could relate but I can't. I don't think my husband cheats but if I ever find out he is, I won't pay him back by doing the same thing. I think I will only end up getting hurt.
ReplyDeleteYour hubby has done a wrong thing but rimeba two wrongs don't make a right so whatever the case young lady,u should think about ur dignity and kids...
ReplyDeleteuna go soon get HIV just watch, u just dey play with fire abi? dis no be guilt matter oh
ReplyDeleteHmmmm....from my own point of view, two wrongs don't make a right.If both of you are cheating on each other, why stay married? I am really trying hard not to judge you, but I seriously think that your act of vengeance is not right.It's not always that what is good for the goose is good for the gander.Even before you confront your 'husband' about the affair he is having, pray to God for wisdom in the matter&God will surely profer a solution.Meanwhile, stop having affairs, but if you can't, divorce him.Have you two thought about the evils of having multiple partners....HIV/AIDS for example? God bless you as you take the wise decision.
ReplyDeleteMy dear is not good stop it and don't mind him only God will judge just go home and be a good mother to ur cildren.
ReplyDeleteMy dear as long as ur happy dats all dat matters,my husband lives in Spain n I recently found out he had 2 kids der after our wedding,right now I hv 2boyfriends n am enjoying dem like crazy I can't leave d marriage cos I got 4kids n ders money so as long as am happy dats all dat matters right now You Only Live Once ooooo
ReplyDeleteI love u die. U r so realiStic. I'm not married but if my husband cheats den ill see opportuniy 2 fuck d guys iv bn eyeing, as long as my kids r fine and money dey flow!
DeleteI FEEL DRAWN TO MAKING THE FOLLOWING COMMENTS;
ReplyDelete1. YOU OBVIOUSLY FEEL GUILTY IN UR SUBCONCIOUS THAT' S WHY YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SHARE THIS WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
2. YOU ARE PROBABLY VERY ANGRY WITH UR SPOUSE WHICH HAS MADE U FEEL EMOTIONALLY NUMB.
3. U NEED TO TALK TO GOD IN WHATEVER WAY U CAN AND JUST POUR UR HEART OUT TO HIM BECOS ONLY GOD CAN ACTUALLY HEAL UR HEART AND HELP U DEAL WITH THE PAIN.
4. REMEMBER WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES, WHICH I'M SURE U HAVE REALISED BY NOW.
Linda isnt married so why ask her?
ReplyDeleteErmmmm you do not love your husband. You have a connection and you still care about him. But the fact that u cheated is not love. You where hurt and u paid back in the same coin that's not love. We all make mistakes think about what u want. Is ur lover what u want or ur husband, think carefully. Are u willing to end ur marriage? We all make mistakes seek GOD. You will grow from this and know what to do.
ReplyDeleteTime heals all. Hopefully, the affairs will grow old for you both and things will get back on track. Know, if you get caught it might be the end. I strongly suggest getting some individual counseling as you attempt to sort things. You say he has cheated several times and you obviously forgave him out of love or to keep the family intact. As the saying goes people do to us what we allow. I'm not pointing at you but dig deeper with the help of a professional then try to encourage him to join counseling if you determine the marriage is worthwhile. Good luck dear try not to stress but do take care of self FIRST!
ReplyDeletePls don't bore us with your marital problems! Pipo are dyinh and you are here straffing and complaining. Mtchewww
ReplyDeleteWoman u need to get back to ur senses b4 u loose ur home. Bet d man out is only giving u pleasure down there..I don't blame u 4 cheating but truly are u happy with ur life? Think bat it
ReplyDeleteMy dear betrayed wife, two wrongs cannot mk a right. U won.t feel any guilt cos its vengeance but d day he finds out... Think about ur kids & 4give him now OK?
ReplyDeleteIts only natural that you feel no guilt, ur husband has been cheating on you so you don't feel bad, he has done worse than what you are doing now. If your husband was a faithful man, you would have been riddled with guilt. Altho I'll advise you not to cheat on your husband bcos he's cheating on you, you are only cheating urself.
ReplyDeleteLook luv, don't have any guilt...if he cheats cheat too . Am doing the same thing..hehehehe
ReplyDeleteU are not alone my dear, the same thing is happening to me, I love my husband so much but cheating on him gives me that satisfaction knowing that he betrayed me first on multiple occasion... There has never been any sign of guilt on his face, so why should I feel guilty....
ReplyDeleteU'r not a bad person,just dat u'r mind has convinced u otherwise,u'r only being vengeful. Infidelity is a serious sin in marriage just dat in our society d men c it as their sole ryt. A woman shld sit back n do notin while ha man cheats. But i'd advice 4 d sake of ur children u cut off 4m ur lover.
ReplyDeleteYou are not a bad person. enjoy. I am married too and let me tell you, it is the worst thing ever, full of pretence and lies even when you cannot stand each other. as a woman you take insults and bull shit from the freaking bastard you married. my advice to any single lady out there is do not do it! Marriage is a waste and fairy tales do not exist!
ReplyDeleteAll i can say is 2 wrongs dont make it rite. and you feeling no guilt, is because you are vindicating what you are doing with the fact that he is doing the same thing. I think thats the answer you are looking for.
ReplyDeleteClap for urself, everyday I pray I don't find myself married unhappily, I'd rather be linda ikeji.
ReplyDeleteLinda Ikeji is such a feminist, anything that has to satisfy her "ladyly" ego on why marriage shouldnt be a big deal and a reason to stay single.
ReplyDeleteIf you call me an LI hater then you havent been her loyal fan enough to notice every post on 'Dear LIB reader' has to do with marriage & women treated unfairly by their spouse. And no i'm not a man....im a lady in 6" heels :D
You are a foolish woman.
ReplyDeletehell hath no fury like a woman scorned
ReplyDeleteStop! He knows.
ReplyDeletehell hath no fury like a woman scorned
ReplyDeleteCongrats madam!!! You ve officially ruined ur family! A cheating husband n wife? I wonder d type of kids u raising! I know all d overzealous women will scream but d fact still remains a cheating husband is close to normal but a wife? That's an abomination!!!
ReplyDeleteWhere was it written dat its normal 4 a man 2 cheat. Tunero am sure u r 1 of those men dat make women feel like dey r less than men. Its an abomination 4 both men n women. Nobody should cheat on their spouse n if my hubby cheats on me with a close family member like in her case I will cheat on my husband 2 his face n end d marriage cos marriage no b by force as long as u r independent as a woman u shouldn't take shit from any man. Most women stay in unhappy marriages cos dey won't beable 2 take care of their kids on their own if dey leave their husbands
DeleteYou don't feel guilt because you don't know the WORD OF GOD. You need JESUS. Repent & pray for your family.
ReplyDeleteDr G tell her husband 2 repent 2 y should she feel guilty wen d man is doing d same thing.
Deleteu r just a nuisance if u think payin ur husband back by cheating is the best option..u always being a whore incarnate....u shd hv called ur husband or report him to ur pastor rather dan the step u took...retrace ur steps bitch...
ReplyDeleteU r calling some1 names who r u 2 judge do u know if she has done dat in d past n d man refused 2 change
DeleteAbeg shut up if u dnt knw wat to say ,U̶̲̥̅̊ r Calling her names cos U̶̲̥̅̊ r nt the one wearing the shoe.ow abt the dog who couldn't zip up?mtcheew
DeleteAbeg shut up if u dnt knw wat to say ,U̶̲̥̅̊ r Calling her names cos U̶̲̥̅̊ r nt the one wearing the shoe.ow abt the dog who couldn't zip up?mtcheew
DeleteOjay says....plz continue anybody dat gives u d advice 2 stop will av sour throat continue my dear......ko si nkan to da to #long hiss*
ReplyDeleteif you no longer feel guilt then you are no longer in love with your husband.you may still love him but you are not in love with him.besides sleeping with someone else just to pay him back makes you as bad as your husband.you are no more righteous than him
ReplyDeleteDe is no righteous man on earth. U dat r talking wat makes u better than her @ d end of d day de is no small sin or big sin its still d same pit of hell u will burn with her
Deleteno comment
ReplyDeleteno comment
ReplyDeleteSlut!!!!
ReplyDeleteDOG!!!!
Deleteand the husband is a????
Deleteand the husband is a????
DeleteBecause u are stupid cheating is not a gurrantee to stop or pay back a cheating husband. Men murder their wifes for this I hope u know. Just pray that ur husband is not a violent person because the day he get to hear this he would nt even think of his . Urs will be the bone of contention & u will suffer it most go & ask ur predessesors their story of how it feels like when once husband knows she is cheating. Ode
ReplyDeleteYou cant love your husband and still cheat on him. The two just dont go together (Cheat and Love) Again you cant pay him back by having an affair because it's your body and reputation you are really destroying. Finally you should have more class than stoop so low (as your husband) by having an affair. Did you even put your kids in consideration when doing this? Who do you think will suffer when this thing comes out and there is a divorce? Definitely the children
ReplyDeleteThose 2 r no longer married dey r just cohabiting 2gether n dats how most marriages dis days r even wen d woman is not cheating
DeleteY do u sound so much like me Ani James...lol!
DeleteIts bad dear,leave God to judge,ok,u r married,u r married,devote ur body to God,and never stop praying,God will touch him one day,ok,pls stop and ask God to forgive u,read mathew 5,27 -32,the warning alone will humble u,forgt dis our human belief of payin baack by cheating on our paterner!people might tink u r fool,buh at d end,u will b d one dancing wit so much joy,face ur children and d little time u v,give it to God,our society is evil,I understand perfectly well wht u r goin tru,but a day will come,u wish u never did,if prayers could change my hubby,den ur case is no big deal!pls stop!I beg u,for even saying it out,u r nt enjoying d adultery cos,if u r,u wount say it dear so u see,it doesn't pay,try smtin else,keep urself busy,ok remain blessed
ReplyDeleteNice one abeg
DeleteEven d bible supports a divorce in d case of infidelity. A cheating husband will always remain a cheating husband. If u think ur husband has changed monitor him 4 a week n u will b surprised @ ur findings
DeleteNice one abeg
DeleteGood for you. Ride on sister, ride on. What goes around comes around. One person cannot be using the other as a doormat forever. Most people who do wrong forget that as humans, we are all capable of doing some serious evil. That we do not do it is strictly a matter of choice or out of respect for others or society at large. But when the same people now rub it in our face, we say damn it. I am a married man too and I have never cheated on my wife, even when I have been offered sex with ex-girl friends on a platter of gold. So tell me, if I now find out that the so called wife I have been honouring has been sleeping with other men, do you think I will have any guilt when I subsequently cheat on her? nada. The moral of the story is that do on to others as you want them to do to you - chikenna, May God help us all to be good people to everyone God has put in our life journey so that they do not remember us for the bad things we did to them.
ReplyDeleteMy dear u r on point d Bible says u should Luv ur neighbour as u luv urself if dis man Luvs his wife d way he luvs himself he won't cheat on her knowing dat if she cheats on him 2 he won't like it
DeleteYou've feel guilt already. Cheating back on him is not the solution to the problem, remember its your body and believe me you are damaging yourself inside much more than you know.
ReplyDeleteOmo I no blame u oh, but all I can say is that u shud try to remember ur vows, for beTter and for worse. What is bad is bad and I suggest u retrace ur steps, if not for ur husband,at least ur children
ReplyDeleteAshawo!
ReplyDeleteI guess u didn't read wat she wrote......monkey like u, so if she's ashawo then u r -------
DeleteU ar doin urself more harm
ReplyDeleteLindastic...if ds is a true story, my take on dis is dt......Two wrongs can neva make a right, somtimes pple make mistakes and need some form of correction, U can help ur hubby retrace his steps not necessarily doin d same thn to get back at him....ur ọ̥n a wrong path and if U continue ds way u wld destroy ur marriage and it would definitely affect ur kids and whosoever ur sleepn wit wldnt marry u, let alone take care of ur kids......Pls go bak home and build ur marriage, women play a major role in binding d home, Invite God into ur home, start now †̥o rebuild urself, family and ur marriage.Wish U d best....Kelss ọ̥n̶̲̥̅̊ point
ReplyDeleteYou just got ta stop it fast before it ruin your marriage.
ReplyDeleteU know wat? Juzz continue to cheat cos ya husband cheats on u and letz see how far u will go.
ReplyDeleteI don't blame u oh my sister all I can say is remember ur marriage vows for better & for worse and retrace ur steps. If not for ur husband, for ur kids
ReplyDeleteThe 4 better 4 worse doesn't include infidelity
Deletethere is no good reason for a married woman to sleep outside her marriage. only sluts do. if your husband indulges in such act, leave judgement to God, surely in that regards, you will laugh last.
ReplyDeleteLeave which judgement 2 God is it untill he brings HIV 2 u in d house dat u will wake up
DeleteTwo rights don't make a wrong. A conversation would've been better instead of complicating the marriage the more.
ReplyDeleteBecause u r stupid! What will ur kids think about u? Ode! I feel sorry for women do think cheating on their hubby is payback/revenge. U end up loosing all u've laboured for. Madam "feel no guilty" go on with ur bad self ya hear? Holla us let's knw who won infact let us knw if the whole revenge is served cold saying works
ReplyDeleteand u r a big fool for insulting her,whatever happened to the man bn faithful too...rubbish!its people like u who ƪƪ blame their wife for their misfortune aft sleeping wit anoda woman who isn't ur wife.....u r the biggest ode
DeleteMa'am, your hubby is a douchebag for being a serial cheat, but you've got to quit that affair & channel your efforts more into your marriage before it's late: Confront him, involve family (preferably parents), counselling (pastor maybe), fuck that close family friend up, feel free to do anything within your means but cheating. Allow yourself the possibility that the reasons you love your husband so much is still strong. Two wrongs they say cannot make a right - Life isn't maths where -ve plus -ve = +ve. Remember that what you're doing right now can't be undone. It's only a matter of time before you'd get caught. Think about the consequences, the kids! The grass might seem green right now that you're getting back at him, but trust me, soon, it'll just turn into a bunch of dirt blowing in your face! All the best.
ReplyDeleteU are a fool woman,
ReplyDeleteIt is important that in the final analysis, we (as human beings) are mainly the sum of all the free decisions we have taken.
ReplyDeleteYou freely chose to cheat on your husband, slowly turning yourself into a beast incapable of feeling true love. Imagine the kind of person you would have become if, despite the challenges, you remained faithful: you would be happier, and a much better person. Why stoop so low.
Nevertheless, if once you took the decision to cheat, you too can still take the decision to stop cheating, for the sake of your kids. Always remember that the home is as good as the woman. My dear, it has been, it is, and will always be your choice. Choose wisely.
And never forget that every free choice comes with some responsibilities you cannot avoid. Alot of people are going to advise you badly, telling you it's not your fault, after all he started cheating first. Please don't listen to them. Listen to the voice of your suffering conscience, that you have been trying to drown with noise and excuses. The Good Lord wants you to come back like the prodigal son. He is willing and more than able to forgive you. Pls listen to Him.
I will pray for you as you retrace your steps back to the former, beautiful self. Abandon this beast you have become, and enjoy the beauty of the life you were once living.
One practical suggestion: read Psalms 50 to 52 every morning. I promise you happiness, my dear sister. This is from one sister to another.
Rose (Victoria Island, Lagos)
Ask 4 d grace of God, his grace is sufficient. Under no circumstance should a woman cheat bck on her wife, rather than cheat ask God 2 change ur cheating hubby, only HIM have d power 2 do that.*amrra*
ReplyDeleteWhen ur children start dying one after another u ll knw if its ok or not,jt keep enjoying urself. All u need is God in ur marriage.
ReplyDeleteYou sound like an illiterate! Gosh! What does her actions have to do with her children dying.
DeleteHian! Ehiosun! Which cave did u com out 4rm! Na wa o! Ow does her cheatn result in her kids dyn!
DeletePlease don't kill yourself over this ...your husband pushed you to it. First of all you need to stop the affair as in cut the guy off completely, delete his name and number.... ask God for forgiveness but you cannot tell your husband Whatz happened. Just turn a new leaf, put more effort into your kids, if you can continue to show your husband love, by the way is your husband still cheating? And also do you leave in naija or abroad? You need to sit down and do some talking with your husband without mentioning your retaliation affair. I wish you all the best because I have been there before and I know the pain hurt, heartache and all this can cause
ReplyDeletemaybe bcos you're acting from a state of mind where you have successfully convinced yourself that you are entitled to do the evil you are now doing.
ReplyDeletewait until the fruits bounce back at you, as they surely will. that is when you will wonder whether you were in your right mind for even allowing this to happen.
assuming everytime one cheats one has to pay severely and bear extreme pain by undergoing a procedure of having one's heart compressed as if in a heart attack. would you still say bcos he did it you would also?
My dear i can relate with u. sometimes the pain of too much betrayal makes one throw cation to the wind. But your story has hope because you say you still love your husband and i thank God that you do . So i urge you to stop before things get out of hand. He may catch you and the story will change and you will become a cheating wife and the world will judge you forgeting that betrayal you had to contend with. Put a stop now. for the sake of your home and your children.The Good Lord is your strenght!
ReplyDeleteDis is sad...trust me wen I say u dnt L♥√ع ur husband anymre if u feel no guilt,u r jst used to been arnd him n cnt leave ur home cos of wat pple will say...
ReplyDeleteU have given up on the marriage,indirectly....I feel ur pain dear..Buh u can work on ur marriage,dnt confront ur hubby,cos u are also as guilty as he is,even though he started it..As God to forgive u,and also forgive urself,then put in lots of effort to work on ur marriage..May God help you.
ReplyDeletestories lyk dis make me afraid of marriage.men cnt kip their dicks in their pants tufia! woman pls 4 d sake of ur children stop it.2 wrongs cnt make a right
ReplyDeleteYou read the book think like a man. I commend you for paying him back but it's time to end that, not because he deserves any better but so that you can reconcile with God. A lot of men choose to dishonour and disregard vows they made before God. It is God that will judge them all on the last day. There is no polygamous nature in heaven! Just this week I heard of a man diagnosed with HIV and he is not planning to tell his wife. His whole family is keeping his secret. What a wicked world. If you choose to continue, hope you can provide for 4 kids alone cause aint no child support in our system
ReplyDeleteNot going to sit & judge cos I don't know the emotions that you are going through. I don't blame you either! I had this discussion with my friend yesterday that any man that blatantly disrespects his wife by committing physical/sexual adultery does not deserve the continued love and support of his wife! Crucify me if you want but that is my opinion.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, as a lady with self respect, dignity & class, things your husband is ignoring while out whoring, I think you should call him to order and let him know he is destroying your home with his affairs. Do NOT confess to your indiscretion o!!!! *Try and rekindle the love that you guys brought into the marriage. *Plan a weekend getaway, buy some lingerie or even just a silky nightie. *Don't talk about the kids or work during this time together, focus on pleasing each other and fulfilling all needs and wants, whether emotional or sexual. *If you've packed on baby weight, try and go on a diet, encourage him to go on a diet with you too in case he is the one with a beer gut. * Be adventurous in bed, matter of fact don"t limit sex to the bed alone. *Most importantly RECONNECT with each other. There was something about him that made you say yes and marry him.
***Stepping off my soapbox***
Pls stop cheating on ur hubby n start praying for God to change him, wot u re doing is very wrong even if he cheats on u wiv ur sister. Wot u re doing can destroy ur home n even ur kids, pls change n run back to God
ReplyDeleteUnforgiveness made you do what you are doing. The devil has set in that is why you are very comfortable at this. he is beginning to eat deep into you, the earlier you stop it, the better. Two wrongs can't make a right. allow the spirit of God change and lead you to the right path. Please come out of it, that's adultery and its not healthy.
ReplyDeleteVery right! Thanks!
DeleteI'm 29.I got married a virgin at the age of 23,immediadely after aquiring my M.BA.I've got 3 kids and 2 weeks ago,I had a mis-carriage at 17 weeks of gestation.I found out that while I was at the hospital,getting the remnants of the fetus I just mis-carried evacuated,my hubby was busy banging his colleague....I cannot judge you,I'm sure a lot of LIB commentors will,cos I KNOW I'll either have an affair soon,to get my mind of this nasty man I married or get a divorce.
ReplyDeleteYou feel no guilt cause you still believe your actions are justified. But would be a good idea that you forgive your husband and the family friend with your whole heart and let bygones be bygones before the issue gets out of your control. Another thing to consider is that perhaps, you are holding onto the love you had for your husband and not what you currently feel for him.
ReplyDeleteMy
U̶̲̥̅̊ don't pay back by having an affair outside its a sin G̶̲̥̅̊Ø̸̸̨̲̣̣D̶̲̥̅. Despise dat U̶̲̥̅̊ better stop it and ask for forgiveness. β a good wife nd pray for your husband τ̲̅ȍ change. Not by going out τ̲̅ȍ sleep with someone else М̣̣̥̇̊Ɣ gosh dats disgusting. U̶̲̥̅̊ beta change woman
ReplyDeleteWhat you're going through is what mant women go through, the only difference being your boldness and frankness to address the matter albeit anonymously. we are a society that frowns on divorce, scorns divorced women yet 'double-standardly' accepting a man's infidelious nature. what i feel is that your husband's cheating with the close family friend was essentially the straw that broke the camels back. while not applauding your decision to seek satisfaction outside your matrimonial home, i do not condemn you either. we have but one live to live, whatever makes you happy, must be paramount. i do have to say though that should your husband find out, which in all likelyhood he will, your beautiful children stand to lose the most. growing up in a broken home is not fun, i can personally attest. search yourself, make bold decisions and lastly, ensure that when your head rests on your pillow at night, it does so with lightness and contentment from being happy and fulfilled. god bless you.
ReplyDeleteHmm tough one. All is welll and will be well. JESUS loves you and He wants teh best for you. I can imagine how you must be feeling but you need to stop the affair. Adultery is a sin and there are many consequences but our GOD is merciful and forgiving. Right now the affair you are having is giving you pleasure but it is only temporary. It will lead to a terrible end eventually and so please you need to end it before it gets so. You probably feel justified because of your husbands indiscretions but that is still not an excuse. You are exposing your family to all sorts of attacks continuing the affair. Its probably difficult for you to do so but through Christ you can do all things. Open up to Him and tell Him to help you and to help your marriage. That is the only way forward. i would endeavour to include you in my prayers. It is well. Read John chapter 4v1-20. God will give you rivers of living water springing up to eternal life. Once you drink thsi water, you will never thirst again. Only HE can fill teh void hat know man can fill. Look to JESUS your helper
ReplyDeleteI've walked in those shoes before. After 2 kids, I found out my husband had cheated with his colleague at work, and I cheated back. I also felt absolutely no guilt and enjoyed thoroughly the affair while it lasted. My husband found out and all hell broke loose. It turned out he couldn't take what he was dishing out. Our marriage nearly packed up but we found a way out of the mess. I forgave him and was ready to re-dedicate myself to the marriage. He however found it harder to do the same. As at today, the marriage is almost back to normal but it took a lot of effort on both parts.
ReplyDeleteIt was a terrible period in my marriage. I regretted that I had allowed him push me into something I'd probably not do on my own.
You are not necessarily a bad person. You are human and the feeling that you have been betrayed that way could bring out traits you never knew you had.
My advise to you is to stop the affair, not because of the fact that you might get caught but to stay true to yourself. Talk to your husband and make him see how his adultery is affecting you. If he doesn't change, you have a decision to make. AIDS IS REAL
And It's Linda ikeji's readers u want to ask this question? Big mistake. Half of them r from yaba left.
ReplyDeleteUse protection my dear. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
LMAO... Very funny! Pls we're not from Yaba left o
DeleteLol' na u gan gan come b the yaba left patint wit dis ur reply.
DeleteNo matter how many times your husband cheated on you,you will be blamed for infidelity if you are caught.Cheating on your husband is not a sure way of resolving this issue.You have to respect yourself as a woman.Pls put a stop to it,you will only ruin your home.What of if your husband is by now planning to change his ways?
ReplyDeleteYou do not feel guilty because you are angry about the fact that your husband cheated on you or is still cheating on you. You are set out on revenge and might get hurt in the process. Just start by trying to forgive your husband and let go! You love him and you have four kids for him so think about that.
ReplyDeleteThis is not a new thing,it is very common but rarely spoken about,google a book titled Women's infidelity.it will help u answer some of your questions
ReplyDeleteOne thing I'd say is, pay back isn't the answer. If you live in Nigeria where MALE marital affairs is part of the "married man" package, then unfortunately you kinda have to deal with it OR leave! To answer your question, you don't feel any guilt because you are trying to fill a void, ride off anger and frustration etc. Yet like they say, two wrongs don't make a right - (in the ideal world *wink*)
ReplyDeleteno dear i don't think you are a bad woman... your husband created this monster ....why should you even bother with LIB advisers ??have you seen any cheating man coming here for advice??
ReplyDeleteDont mind her...her toto go soon peel finish..shameless dog
DeleteOh shut up mr atawewe... U call someone a dog and ur what? Being ignorant and judgmental isn't attractive! Get educated
DeleteOh shut up mr atawewe... U call someone a dog and ur what? Being ignorant and judgmental isn't attractive! Get educated
DeleteWriting to Linda Ikeji alone, means u feel some sorta guilt. Cheating husband = std. Cheating wife = std. Stop now and confess your sins!
ReplyDeletethis is intense, as a woman i dnt think its a ryt tin to do. you need to sit down and talk with your husband. if ur nt contented den u dissolve d marriage
ReplyDelete2 wrongs can never make a right. Your husband is definitely wrong cheating on you but your carrying on with an affair just makes it easier for your marriage to breakup. Imagine the shame you will feel if you get caught or it comes out you have been cheating on your husband (unfortunately society treats cheating wives differently from husbands). Also think of your children (if u have any) as well as your family and friends.
ReplyDeleteIf you continue this affair, it will ultimately end up badly for you.
My advice is that you stop the affair immediately and beg God for forgiveness, next call your husband and tell him you sense he has been cheating on you and he needs to stop to avoid pushing you to do the same.
If he doesn't stop, seek marriage counselling.
Why dont you tell him already so that he can get for himself another new and younger wife? You should go for retirement old woman:)
ReplyDeleteHEY LIB READER.
ReplyDeleteFIRST OF ALL, IM NOT MARRIED, BUT I UNDERSTAND THE DYNAMICS (TO AN EXTENT)
I ALSO UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS WHEN THE PERSON YOU LOVE HURTS YOU...ITS MORE THAN PAINFUL.
BUT LET ME BE HONEST WITH YOU...WHAT YOUR DOING IS NOT RIGHT, AND WOULD ONLY PUT YOU IN MORE TROUBLE AND FEEL MORE PAIN THAN THE TIME YOU FOUND OUT ABOUT HIS DEEDS
AS MUCH AS IT HURTS, OUR SOCIETY IS BUILT UPON THE MAN, IN THE END THEY WIN, BUT IN SITUATIONS LIKE THESE, IF YOU STAY WISE YOUD COME OUT ON TOP.
CHEATING IS NOT THE WAY.
1) HE WILL DEFINITELY... DEFINITELY FIND OUT (THE SAME WAY YOU FIND OUT ABOUT HIS- APART FROM THAT MEN ARE SMARTER AT THESE GAMES)
2)HIS EGO, WILL NOT ALLOW HIM TO KEEP YOU AS A WIFE, EVERYONE WOULD LOOK AT YOU LIKE THE BAD WIFE, HE MAT REMARRY, AND WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOUR CHILDREN.
3) YOU WOULD BE THE LOOSER....YOUR ALREADY IN THIS SITUATION, AND I HATE TO SOUND SPIRITUAL AND ALL...BUT YOU SHOULD TAKE IT TO GOD.
4)CONFRONT HIM..AND THE FAMILY FRIEND(ESPECIALLY)
5)LASTLY, ITS NOT THAT YOU DONT CARE, YOUVE GOTTEN TO THE POINT THAT YOUR IMMUNE, BUT UNLIKE VACCINES, THE EMOTIONS OF A HUMAN BEING ARE HIGHLY UNSABLE, NEXT WEEK YOU MAY BE SAYING SOMETHING ELSE.
6) UNFORTUNATELY YOUR NOT THE FIRST TO HAVE A CHEATING HUSBAND AND NEITHER WILL YOU BE THE LAST....BUT IF YOU LOOK AT ALL THE WISE ONES...THEY HELD ONTO THEYRE HOME AND DIGNITY...BY BEING FAITHFUL...WHICH IN THE END ...GOD ALWAYS REWARDS.
You are not suppose to feel any guilt, after all his been cheating on for only God knows how long.
ReplyDeleteNice to know there are women who have good guts. wish I was one of them, cos I should do same thing you are doing.
As a woman,ur not ment to du such,take heart nd love ur childern nd bring dem closer to you,nd keep lovin your husband,dats wat ur ment to du as a wife nd mother,adultry is a sin.
ReplyDeleteBe honest with yourself...YOU just want to fulfill a fantasy. you probably wanted to cheat on your husband all the while but the opportunity never presented itself. I guess now you have a toaster that is ready to spice up your boring life.
ReplyDeleteMy point is a virtous woman will always be virtous,no matter what the circumstance.
So can go ahead and decieve yourself that its because your husband is cheating and that you are justified in paying him back the same way.
Most women push their husbands to other women and then blame the man. No time for introspection..no time to retrace and seee what went wrong.
Like they say 'blame it on the rain..just dont put the blame on you'.
Enjoy..at least our pastors do it so WTF!!!
And you are as dumb s f**k...women do not push men to it, a
DeleteShow a woman love and affection and she's all your...cheat on her and in her face and you are breaking her slowly... please be strong my sister and end what you have with this other man
We don hear, aunty virtuos. Pls go siddon. First to quote bible, first to judge...go n remove d plank in ur eye
DeleteI agree. A virtuous woman would never cheat. Especially after 4 kids. Where does she even want to start to find man? Truth is u hav always had it in you.
DeleteU have 2 stop it 4 d sake of ur children pls. Dat all I can sy nw.
ReplyDeleteAt the right time, you will know whether you are an African Woman or Not.
ReplyDeleteDear LIb reader,
ReplyDeleteYour story only shows that you are enjoying the banging from your co-adulterer. And that you are a b**ch is just an understatement.
So, the fact that your husband is sleeping with another woman prompted you to be opening up your legs all about like a dog? Mrs. Animashaun....pls dont even get us started about loving him!
Next story please. I am done with this adulterer.
Linda, if you like don't upload my comment...shogbo!
Omo baba says so....
Omo baba...you are a dummy..have you never ever cheated before...idiot
DeleteIts obvious u dont luv ur husby anymore since u dont care if he gets 2 kno.why dont u sit him down n discus n salvage ur marriag since u claim 2 stil luv him.
ReplyDeleteWhen you don't feel any guilt anymore then the love is gone from your marriage. When you love your partner, the question of cheating should not arise. You have been betrayed several times but this is now way to revenge. It might cliché but if you want to give your marriage a chance, stop the affair now, talk to your huusban about how you can bring the romance back, if he is not going to change then am afraid you have to make the decision whether you still want to stay in this marriage. Wishing you best of luck
ReplyDeleteWell,I hate to sound preachy preachy cos dere's no perfect person,but even though I'm a staunch advocate of 'what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander',how does ur cheating on your husband to spite him change anything?Payback is a bitch,aye?But it in these parts,I doubt if they work.Find outlets to vent,if you need to,and deal with it somehow,I dunno.Its looking to me that those who get married in these times?Just sign up for anything:the good the bad,the ugly;predominantly the latter...abi wetin I for talk nah?Marriage these days tire me oh!As a single mum,fear dey catch me!My two cedis and pesewas...
ReplyDeleteDid u eva confront him when u found out? u may have developed a malicious hatred towards him and u r hurting urself.Payback will hurt u more cos the damage seems to be tilting towards ur side, the present state u r is like living a lie. please ask God to help u forgive urself and forgive ur husband. The Kids should not suffer for these errors.Have a rethink and let this phase passover.
ReplyDelete*sigh* men just don't know when to stop. i'm not sure i can forgive a man that cheats on me with anyone close either but i think when it gets to the point that you're cheating and not feeling guilty anymore, it's time to end it, harsh i know but there's just one rather short life we have to live and one mustn't live it unhappy.
ReplyDeleteyou heart is hardened that's y u feel no guilt.bt an advice.....two wrongs won't make it right neither will one. A wise lady builds her home, a foolish one destroys it. Ask urself, d affair I'm having now, does it make me happy? Does it stop my husband from cheating? What is my goal?. U r in2 d same deal with him, I can bet u, there is no justification. Y not pray for him always?with God all things r possible.
ReplyDeletedeep! but u do not pay evil with evil
ReplyDeleteIts quite obvious u no longer love ur hubby cos dats when daring acts come in. U only think u still love him bt u don't. My advice is for u to find that "spark" dat once existed btw u two. I knw u dint ask for advice bt ds is what I can say. No one is perfect! We only try to work towards perfection. Slikky.
ReplyDeleteI tink u av dcided not to forgiv him n pay him bak coz of d tinz he has done in d past.but I bliv u shud open ur hearts to each oda.we re afrikans n at d end of d day,d woman wud b blamd.pray God 24giv u n end ur affair.sin is a chain by d tym u no it,ur home wud b 4eva gone.....nekkyville
ReplyDeleteWay to go girl. GO ON. Feel no guilt! Enjoy urself. As long as u hav concrete evidence of his cheating. Two can play d game!!
ReplyDeletehmmmmmmm nkan beeeeh
ReplyDeleteTwo wrongs dont make a right. Yur husband new he cheated on you, do u know how bad he feels or felt. Ur actions are wrong. Unfortunately its a mans world a man can cheat and get a way with it and it doesnt make it right, but a woman, will probably face the disgrace of a lifetime. What will ur children remember u for, if it all comes out. Its not about u now, its about ur children and the legacy u leave for them. IF u want them to remmber u with this act then go on bcos at the rate u are going u will soon be found out and if u dont want them with this memory of u then stop. If u love ur children and yes u say u love ur husband then please let me ask you what are u really doing? what do u stand to gain? So uve paid ur husband in his own coin then what? Think about ur iife, and make the right choices. We are a result of the choices we make in life, which will it be for u? Linda oya i hope u post this.
ReplyDeleteI feel you, I hope you read this. I can totally understand where you are coming from. I too have been tempted and exposed to cheating on my husband with my first love who is now married but I did not because of God's grace.I am sure you had enough that is why you are cheating and of course feel no guilt because you feel happy and relieved. It is a tough one, but when you are exposed to an wicked man like I was who all he did was call me names, BITCH, THIEF, Ashawo what type of response does he expect to get. I almost starting fighting the son of a BITCH, even did at times, but realised I was becoming someone else( a bitter soul). The last straw was when I heard he was cheating on me with one ugly monkey he took out.I sometimes wonder what he wanted to do with the creature.Pornography, going to club with his useless wretched friends and gyrating with oyibo akata babes. Plus when he comes home I will not hear word, so so Bitch, foke u and so forth.It is a tough decision but my advice to u you is to seek God, let him help you and comfort you. Because you know adultery is a sin and you will not want to be on God's bad side, love urself and invest in the kids. Pray for him to come out of his confusion, if he doesn't seek counseling, make sure you do not get HIV from him. Remember u did not come to this world with him, your well being is paramount bcos of the kids. Stop cheating, bcos that pleasure is temporal. If u do not feel him anymore (your husband) ask for a divorce and move on.
ReplyDeleteHopefully when you get AIDS you will care.
ReplyDeleteI understand how u feel.its really painfulwhen u get to know ur husband's cheating on u.I have been married for 4yrs now$found out 2yrs ago that my husband cheats on me.I made up my mind recently that if he doesn't stop,I'm just gonna walk away for my childrens'sake $for my sanity.cheating on your man wld not solve d problem.don't make a human like u sin against god.I'm a Muslim$according to my faith,my reward is not with my husband but from my creator.u r so wrong.just pray to god to forgive u,heal ur broken heart$pls decide how u wanna move on.cheating wld only compound ur problems
ReplyDeletehmmmmm...wat can i say many women re in this position right now...including myself and i think am about goin down dat part!! its very painful after u must have talked about it and d talking seems to be doing no good..some husbands actually push deir once faithful wife into dis..just make peace wit ur God cos thruthfully no man is worth the stress..be strong sis..
ReplyDeleteNot cool,u can still retrace ur steps!
ReplyDeleteI'm nt married but my ex was a dog,he cheated on me wit very close friends as well (so I understand how u feel).
I cheated on him wit another ex,nt even a new guy and I didn't feel any better,(would never do that again,its no pain killer) so I told him and broke off the engagement.
As for u,I'm nt saying u should confess oh!just break off the affair!and ask God for forgiveness
You don't feel guilty or care because he betrayed you first.
ReplyDeleteWhat you two have is no longer a marriage. Seek marriage counseling.
U no why u feel like dis bcos to u its was pay back time but let's be honest here in africa even if a man cheats its kk but for a woman d world will look down on u. Pls stop watever u are doing before it gets out of hands ur children first and then ur home I will say u speak wit ur friend one one to stay off ur husband's back. Sori abt all dis but dnt destroy ur own home wit ur hands
ReplyDeletehmm... My sister,cheating on ur husband cos he cheated on you,brings you down to his low level.end that relationship u are having outside your marriage and have a heart to heart discussion with your husband.he is ur husband,and u still love him just as u mentioned,so try and work out your relationship,dont bring yourself down to his level.if it wont work out bween u two,then u move on with ur life and have a normal healthy relationship with another man......make sure u get custody of ur children!!
ReplyDeleteDis woman feels no form of guilt cuz she has been cheated countless times nd moreover its more lyk a Vengance game.
ReplyDeletethat my dear is becouse the marriage is over but you are still in denial, the moment u casn bed another guy with out guilt for the one u luv then smtin my luv is lost......women arent built like men dat can cheat without their emotion and still foolishly calim they luv u....women can hardly cheat or even sleep with a guy based on just the physical (not talking abt whores now) talking abt real women and if the discription of ur self in this blog is ryt then u dnt strike me as the type dat wud just shag another man over n over again even if it was for payback......phewwww so my dear dat tells u dat ur emotions for ur marriage n hubby are slowly fadding now dats d ugly truth take it or leave it. my advice to u is to call ur hubby and address ur marriage either fix it or free it b4 u get cought n stabbed to death or made to walk round lagos nude like one of the freak stories we hear....lool did i just hear u say u husband wud nvr do dat if he catches you lmao looolll did u guys hear her. get real love. all in all it is well. btw ur hubby doesnt desrve u justsaying* madam linda paste my comment o
ReplyDeleteuse husband is cheating..he suffers the consequences both from God and he could get an STD..u do the same?u sin against GOD as well and what if u also have tragic consequences...stop cheating on him..refrain from it.and he'd bear the consequences alone..just make sure your hands are clean and then let God do the rest
ReplyDeleteMy dear,you should not have decided to pay back by having an affair.there many stragegies out there that you would have used to make him pay for his mistakes.have d fear of God in you so that you can stop that affair
ReplyDeleteLove conquers all
I do not think that your husband's infidelity is what pushed you into this if that is a likely justification. Your values should be what matters, by religious and social measures, what you are doing is wrong even if you do not feel guilty about it. Maybe your conscience is severed or your execuse for indulging in it is pseudo justifying you.
ReplyDeleteWill your four children be proud to call you mother if they find out? You should be better than this, cheating is such a cheap thing, get off it please!
Loads n loads of women re in ur shoes but trust me cheating back is ur sin...it can never be punishment for him.
ReplyDeleteLike me I have decided that I can't handle my husbands cheating anymore so I am moving on ..... He has no idea but one day I will be gone. I think I am exposed to too much...HIV, stds"" n all the other bullshit I can possible get from his cheating ways. It's not much about the emotional part it's more of what I am exposed to. So ppl out there that would say only a foolish woman walks away from a cheating man are the foolish ones.
Husband can't buy life.
Bottom line....madam stop cheating n move the hell on.
Person dey ask of advice n sum mumu dey joke abt am ,smh
ReplyDeletePerharps you don't love him any more as you claim otherwise. But then I hate to tell you this, just because he cheated on you does not necessarily give you the freedom to do the same.
ReplyDeleteShould you because he fornicated then have the leeway to throw away all of God's instructions against adultery? Your salvation matters most not your betrayed emotions and trust. I hate to sound sermonizing but it's just the truth.
You now seem to be enjoying the thrill and I know how it can be, fun. But what happens when the bubble bursts? No one not even your own family members will feel that you were justified. Unfortunately, you'll get the wrong end of the stick.
Advise? STOP IT NOW!!!. You have made your point to yourself ok? Now ask God for forgiveness and garner the strength from him to cut off all links from secret lover. Do this, for yourself, for your kids who may be embarassed in future from the mess this can become and finally do it for fear of God.
My friend please do not cheat anymore. Stop at once and speak to your husband about his affair. Pray to God for forgivns because it will affect your home and kids after. Not now, but after. God is ready to accept you back. What you are doing now is sweet but the payment is sickness/death. Also the man that you are sleeping with is destroying his soul. That's what the bible says (proverbs 6.32). Please, change so you do not die or your kids falling sick. God will forgive you if u stop. Talk to God about your husband and he will change him. Maybe he has not changed your husband because in your mind, u have been thinking on how to pay him back rather than praying for him. Talk to God and he will answer you. Cry to him. God will change him and make your marriage sweet again as you change IJN.
ReplyDeleteThe issue here is unfortunate,your husband has cheated on you, too bad. but let me say here, your pay back was not the best form of pay back, if your husband decided to go the way of the devil, must you follow suit? now you have tested and you are stuck,pray that God should release you from this bondage of sin. you have gotten four beautiful kids, what else are you looking for.please don't get me wrong, i am not in support of what your husband did, we should remember God when this temptation comes our way . let us learn to be patient and forgiven, even the guy you are sleeping with presently, is he ready to marry you, the answer is no, just having the better part of you.if you break your marriage now, after four kids, when are you going to start all over. no matter the situation try and stick to your marriage.
ReplyDeleteI have been there before,two month into my marriage,i found out my friend got pregnant for my ex,i just walked out of the two months marriage because i couldn't stand the shame.Today i'm the happiest woman on earth.Pray to God to forgive you n to show you the way.
ReplyDeletewhat is good for the goose is good for the gander. our society is what makes these men think they can get away with anything. ive been cheated on and i know how bad it hurts when u put ur all into a relationship/marriage and the man who claims to love you puts his sexual desires first. women also have sexual desires but tend to put the relationship/marriage first. there's no excuse for men not to do same. sis.. have fun n enjoy.. u can all apologise and forgive each other later.. after being hurt ive made up my mind to do same if i ever have hard evidence of any yeye man cheating on me..tit for tat is a fair exchange
ReplyDeleteMy dear high 5! One time, I forgive. Twice, I move on... Wed both apologise later! Half of the women here are being cheated on by their husbands, that why they'd abuse the writer for not bottling her bitterness like they do. Keep loving your cheating husbands, when he gives u HIV, keep loving...na u love 1st
DeleteThat's what u think..tit for Tar but at the end of the day;u still leave hurt
DeleteDon't deceive yourself..rather than do same,divorce him and move on..you'd find someone who'd appreciate u
For even writing this to LIB shows ur guilty,asking for advise and all shows ur feeling guilty.
ReplyDeleteWow...whenever someone asks for advice here we are quick to judge,render abusive words and say inappropriate stuffs towards them, which is so wrong.
ReplyDeleteMy advice to you is to pray and ask God for direction. No one is perfect
Stop it woman, so that you would not regret later in life! Forget your husband wrong doing remember your children and focus on them, this is the time they need you most as a mother.
ReplyDeleteOh please... What makes it ok for a man to cheat? because they are stupid to do it does not mean it should be tolerated. Adultery is adultery!!!Men hurt women's feelings when they sleep around like dogs and it is 100000% ok to pay them back by cheating on them. why should women be neglected and made to feel depressed! society or not cheating men should be paid back.... shikena!!!
ReplyDeleteMy contribution is simple, Let men be men and women be women...Men pride their selves based on material achievements and economic stability as well as being able to care for his family, while Women pride their selves on Decency and the ability to keep the home together.. Truth be said, until women believe this bitter truth, these kind of problems will keep coming up and finally if a woman chooses to live a reckless life becos her husband cheats on her, she will be longed expired and withered while the man rocks on... Be wise women..Ojay simpson
ReplyDeleteSad but not uncommon. To do the same thing he is doing means you are no better, and unfortunately, in the society we live in, it is highly unlikely that people would take to your side. please stop it now! tell him you know about his and confess yours, then fate will take its course. the lord is your strength
ReplyDeleteSooo.... Your husband has been insulting you by cheating on you and you decide to expose yourself to another man for future insult and see-finish? Tsk Tsk.
ReplyDeleteClap for yourself:) well done:)lol)
ReplyDeleteanon5.08..ur advice brought tears to my eyes cos i almost went the way you did but God held me back....hmmmmm...yeah and it was for my kids sake i held back
ReplyDeleteWhat became of my comment,Linda dear?I spent some time putting that epistle together ooo.Please post...
ReplyDeleteMen no go zip their trousers or wear iron pants,and if a woman is not godly she will lose her dignity as a married woman..Madam adultery will trigger the problems the more,put everything to God in prayers,be strong because of your children.
ReplyDeleteFIRST OF ALL!!!
ReplyDelete" Her toto will peel....shameless dog" Like really?... that person is damn right Stupid.... Of all the advice...going spiritually or not...that is the best ur undeveloped brain can come up with?...sad much and I cant even pity the friends u have probably had to help advice, its their fault for being a friend of urs...
"He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."- Jesus
As for the LIB Reader, Talk to your husband there is a reason God has brought u guys this far and blessed you with children...whether he listens or not play your role as a God fearing wife and God will bless ur hand work and ask God to forgive cuz out of everyone u need him to stand by you at this time
Still love your husband, make the dinner, dress up good for him when u need to...
And whenever it crosses your mind how much your husband is hurting you GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY...That's why we have him (God) He knows we cant carry everything alone...
Like someone earlier said, be true to urself as a mother and as a wife.
This too shall pass
Its painful if your husband cheats countless times and sees no wrong in it.
ReplyDeleteWhats more painful are the stupid comments here about how its ok for a man to cheat... Even women say all sorts of negative things to you cos they're going thru d same thing, enduring the pain, living a lie and deceiving themselves that they're only staying because of the children meanwhile they're miserable but can't find a way out..... Men, please listen up, its not a man's world - not in that sense - only a beast hurts a human and feels no remorse, cheating on your wife makes you a heartless soul, totally emotionless and selfish - nothing, no matter what your friends say, can make it right or justifiable...
Please seek help with a marriage counselor and let your husband go with you if you really want to salvage your marriage... you don't feel guilt because you've been hurt to the point where you feel emotionally disconnected and detached from your husband, but you've got a conscience thats why u sent this and truthfully, like the saying goes 'if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't -
Get help (spiritual and psychological), talk to him about it, be true to yourself, decide for yourself what's most important, be willing to go through the transformation process even if its painful and make a decision you're sure you can live with... Ultimately, the ball is in your court, play it wisely... God help you and give you strength... Cheers!
Dear married sister.take it to the lord in prayer.cheating is wrong so that at the end of the day when u pray u can tell God u r clean n pure of adultery so his wrath can fall upon ur husband,when ure stained what ground can u stand on.u r no different from him rite nw.to God there is no he did it first,sin is sin regardless of who started it.For d sake of ur kids try make ammends in ur marriage.I am married n pray neva to experience such cos I dnt knw hw ill take it.It is well.
ReplyDeleteThis life
ReplyDeleteI can't believe some comments here! some people are so stupid! okorodudu, omo baba, atawewe and all u idiots that have nothing sensible and productive to say then just shut up! she doesn't need your imbecile answers! long hiss!
ReplyDeleteWen I hear wat women go thru all in d name of marriage,I'm rili scared of marriage.Majority of married women commentin hia r sayin dey r experiencin d same tin,is it not possible 2 find a decent man again,marriage scares d hell out of me o,cos vry lil tins can mk me emotionally unstable.God hlp us.
ReplyDeleteTwo wrongs can never make a right. You cannot get even with your husband by sleeping with another man. When a couple quarrels, the children suffer. You cannot be any different from your husband if it ever occurred to you to sleep with another man just to get even with him. If you were a woman of integrity, you would have asked for divorce the very moment you confirmed that he is cheating on you. That way, you leave the marriage with clean hands. I would go ahead and ask for a divorce, but bear in mind that you cannot rely on infidelity as a justification for divorce since you are also guilty of infidelity.
ReplyDeletePlease if you have never been married don't throw stone don't call her a slut or an ashawo who are you to call her names. Most times when a spouse cheats the first thought that comes to your mind is to repay the spouse by cheating back which is only natural but it takes strength and will not to. I advise you to seek God's help repent and ask your husband to follow you to couple's counselling both of you desperately need it dear.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 7:53...Oh please prevent urself from being the most ignorant person on earth...when someone says "keep loving your husband" Who is talking about sex(referring to ur HIV comment)...it's people like u that no nothing about love rather equate it to sex/lust... Pathetic!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 7:53...Oh please prevent urself from being the most ignorant person on earth...when someone says "keep loving your husband" Who is talking about sex(referring to ur HIV comment)...it's people like u that no nothing about love rather equate it to sex/lust... Pathetic!
ReplyDeleteMy dear men always remains cheaters,so you would have taking it as one of those things men does to their wives;so you should't have pay him back by cheating on him,so I think you did a wrong thing.there's a lots of other punishments as you want to pay back.
ReplyDeleteMy dear men always remains cheaters,so you would have taking it as one of those things men does to their wives;so you should't have pay him back by cheating on him,so I think you did a wrong thing.there's a lots of other punishments as you want to pay back.
ReplyDeleteUhmm still trying to figure out how 2 wrongs can make a right.....hmmmmm.....scratching my beard.
ReplyDeleteWell here's my 2cents: NEVER USE SEX TO SETTLE SCORES
My dear men always remains cheaters,so you would have taking it as one of those things men does to their wives;I know is so painful you would have controlled your anger,but at the same time you should't have pay him back by cheating on him,so I think you did a wrong thing.there's a lots of other punishments as you want to pay him back.
ReplyDelete♍Ɣ dear I understand U̶̲̥̅̊, I have been dr b4, ♍Ɣ husband threats ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥ like a piece of rag, he has no single L♥√ع or respect for ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥, he comes home late , finds fault i̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ everything I do, dn I might someone who was always there for ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥, adores α̲̅πϑ respect ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥, and gives ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥ advice, I could talk with him for hrs something I hv never done with ♍Ɣ husband, b4 I knew it I slept with him a couple of times. But I realised what I was doing was wrong, dn I stopped and asked God for forgiveness, α̲̅πϑ I will never go down that road again. I deleted d man's phone numbers α̲̅πϑ told him I can't continue anymore. I don't regret cheating on ♍Ɣ husband bcos he still threats ♏ε̲̣̣̣̥ badly , I only regretted sinning b4 God. ♍Ɣ dear just stop it for ΰя own peace of mind α̲̅πϑ leave revenge for God.
ReplyDeleteu r are hurting, that's why u feel the need to prove to him that 2 can play the game. Advice will be to weigh ur pros and cons and be prepared for the best and worst outta this and most especially consider the ones u love most ur kids and if u realise after visualising the end or what u wanna gain, u will find the answer. which u already know and it dwells in your heart. Most of all be grateful to God and seek him for guidance.
ReplyDeleteWhy would anyone bother asking LIB readers for advice.... smh... All I will say is think about ur kids.. Is it better for them to see u unhappy in your marriage or ?
ReplyDeletemy dear,i know wat u re going through but cheating on ur husby is not d main thing, jux end d cheating n let him know dat u re aware dat he is cheating on u n u have to be strong for ur children.
ReplyDeletefirstly, no one has the right to judge this woman, most of you do the same thing either single or married. na who talk am out una wan kill??? yet u all are guilty of the same thing. that said, realistically, it is normal to feel that urge to revenge wen the people we love hurt us over and over again, and most times, its not like u don't feel guilty, instead u suppress your guilt cos u are hurting. but then 2 wrongs don't make a right. if u really cherish your marriage for the sake of your children (not for any dirty love), u need to call yourself back to order. not bcos u are a married woman and d society expects u to be virgin mary blah, blah blah ( oh pls!!)..... yet the same society encourage men to go hay wire (typical nigerian mentality), but more like u want your marriage to work, and you are sane enough to calm down and fix it.
ReplyDeleteWhat a bunch of hypocrites!!!! You feel no guilt cause you have built a wall around your feelings!
ReplyDeletePlease don’t take notice of the other comments that judge you harshly they will do so behind
the protective internet wall BUT they WE all have secrets and WE ALL fall one way or another!
Please I am talking from experience its not easy for a woman to have an affair and not get hurt! We connect through emotions and can’t handle the fact that men are just interested in easy sex! Your affair is not based on love and few develop into anything serious. Don’t make any major decisions now just step back and think!!! Spend more time thinking about you and you will find the ans.
Chin up, n best wishes PS Do not trust anyone with this secret people are very indiscrete with other peoples secrets and never admit to anything if accused!!!
useless husband, useless wife
ReplyDelete