Dear LIB readers: My husband now shares another home with his mistress
From a female LIB reader
I have
been married to my husband now for years back and we are blessed with 4
kids, our marriage has had it share of ups and downs, but what made me
resolve to this medium for help is that for a year plus my husband has
been acting strange he hardly stay at home and can even stay for months
without coming to sleep at home, recently when he came home I went
through his phone only to discover that he has rented an apartment
outside and been spending most of his time with another woman and only
came home because they had a misunderstanding and in their conversation
my husband told the lady he loves her and wish he has known her
since.
He denied being married but admitted to having kids, he even went
as far as telling her he has been faithful to her since they have been
dating and true to his words my husband has refused to have sex with me
and I can't remember the last time he said he loves me or talk to me
lovingly and I have been faithful to him all my life, he will pick up a
fight at the slightest mistake I make and has asked me to leave
severally, and I will always beg him no matter the insults, but he will
go ahead begging this lady even when she insults and curses him. Am
really confused because I have always loved my husband and never stop
loving him, I feel have lost my husband because I know he will go back
to her when they settle their differences, pls what should I do am
really depressed. Reasonable advice only please
It's not by divorcing... D bible says the violent take the by force. Come visit my store n get some things to spice up ur love life with ur husband, trust me it works. So take ur husband back by force n stop being a doormat - www.konga.com/naughtybynature
Grab those evidence u'v just written here and file for a divorce..leaving him will be for ur own good..if u'r beautiful and hardworking a man will come for u..before they murder u someday so as to unite forever
Well sister, there must have been some clues along the way, u just refused to notice them.....the truth is when it comes to marriage, u can only pray that God helps u. No other "Legal" and "innocent" way to go about it. #hehe Mistress.... na wa o
If you're financially stable then leave, if you're not then stay but if you dont have and hes not giving and still doing like that! My sister pack your bag...
My dear go down on your knees, prayer is the key, and believe, God will ans ur prayers and restore ur home, He will help u in ur difficulties, Amen, take heart, is well
dear sis, i understand ur plight nd ur feelings towards ur marriage but i will let u understand dat not amount of ur pleas can stop him from doing wat he has in mind, he wnt relent until he is being pushed away by the woman outside but i can only tell u dat u focus on ur 4 kids nd also be praying for him to have change of mind but as d issue is now ur kids should be ur main priority after dat he will come back begging in more folds of times u beg him, stay bless sis God is ur strenght nd dont relent......
You need to have physical and straight talk with him. It is man nature to cheat but let him know the dangers of contracting diseases and infecting you. After that just pray.
You need to have physical and straight talk with him. It is man nature to cheat but let him know the dangers of contracting diseases and infecting you. After that just pray.
From ur story, I can deduce u're a good woman wit a good heart and who is willing to uphold her marriage no matter what. However, I see this as a trying time in ur marriage and I'll advice u to turn to God and seek him more cos in this case, he's the only option and I bet u he still restores broken home the last time I check. Selah!
Well, what's happening to you is no news. 2 things I think may have being the cause, is either your husband is under a spell or there's something you are not doing right. Now my advise is this, now that they are having issues, get a Pastor counsel you guys and as for you find out those things you are not doing right and step up your game.
It's your life, you already know what you should do, but you don't want to. I don't condone divorce based on lack of love because love comes and goes. But once the love meant for you has been given to another, forget about ever gettin it back, your not in a marriage anymore, it's a civil partnership
Dearest pls fight for ur man on ur knees. He is definitely not in control of the situation. The forces behind this are not for d ordinary eye to see. Understand that the fight is not against ur husband but You. U r already depressed,thats d evidence. If u can't pray,ask God for help and guidance to d right fellowship like mountain of Fire,etc. My prayers are also with u. God bless you.
Men n deir chicken brain... Its just so sad..well wat I'll say is continue being d gud wife u are. Pray as well. U can also confront him with your allegations n hear wat he has to say...
It's painful but my dear sister,its time for you to leave his house and move on. Perfect upkeep allowance plan for the kids and move out of his house before he does something drastic. All the best and May God be with you during this trying period and always. Take care!
Dear Madam, This is an unfortunate event, however, it is your chance to get your husband back. Show him a lot of love. Don't be confrontational. Can you remember what he loved about you. Show more of it. Did you do something wrong, before he started avoiding you? How wrong is it? All of this may have accounted for it. This may make him to distrust you. It is not late. You can still make it better as the marriage Institution was meant to be a learning and joyful experience. You shall have cause to celebrate. Pray and praise God for victory
Really sad! Do u have a job or business...or interest? you should keep being you and concentrate on activities which can fulfill you. Most importantly, seek the hand of God's intervention in your marriage. Whatever happens, u'll be fine.
My dear am sorry dats wat most women r passing through, all I have to tell u is to put in prayer cos is only God dat can see u through. If u can't bear de plans any longer I call for separation cos if u die now. U will go to hell fire cos u r not at peace with ur hubby. Also check urself if dia r somethings u always do dat push him away from u. I know how u feels cos dats wat am passing through too.
when love grows cold, and then goes sour. get on your knees woman and ask for guidance from God
UNCOVERED
She walked down the stairs, her mind spinning out of control. She didn’t know when she got to the end of the staircase, and she tripped. She held unto the wall, to keep her from falling on her face.
No one seemed to pay attention to her. All around her there was a buzz of activity. She felt like screaming. Why did she have to go through her pains all alone? Why didn’t anyone care how she felt? People passed by her, going up and the stairs without even a nod in her direction. She felt so helpless.
This isn’t the life she was supposed to be living, she felt like she was living inside the body of a stranger. Why has life decided to deal her this hand? How could she explain what her life had decided to turn into?
Hard as she tried, she couldn’t shake the feeling that had been overwhelming her these past months, that has finally exhibited itself on this day. She walked slowly towards the back door, and stepped out into the courtyard.
Her mind wandered back to the days….. the days her husband’s mother always referred to as her days of glory. Those days when she was still young and vibrant. She had the world at her feet.
She had everything going on very pleasantly for her. She was easily the prettiest girl in her vicinity. She had dreams of going abroad, to further her career as a midwife. She was fresh out of the school of midwifery, and the world beckoned on her. She was responding to that call, until that fateful day.
She had received a call, to attend to a woman in labour. She had been standing at the bus stop for over thirty minutes, and had gotten no luck at getting a cab going in her direction. She was getting really anxious, as the case at hand was very critical. continue reading
Sometimes in life we never like the ones who want us but keep chasing the one who doesn't. You have four lovely kids to consider and what's best for them. And also what example you the parents are setting for them, U don't want ur boys growing up thinking it's alright to hurt and disrespect women the way their dad is doing now. Nor do u want your girls thinking its ok to be treated that way. Apart from u being a mother, it's also ur life and u know how much it hurts, only u can make d best decision for urself. If u think ur hubby is worth it and that there's a chance then endure and pray hard for God's intervention. But be sure Wht ur parying for cos most times we pray and yawn for wht isn't really ours or best for us. Wishing u all the best.
Prayers my dear...go to a good man if God let him lay hands on u...ok...then check ur self, know wia u went wrong...ur looks,ur carriage,ur attitude to sex, d way u treat him...lure him bak...make d home desirable...kip it neat,warm,cozy,sexy always,start dressing sexy,look lik u r 21 ok...most women just marry b let go of themselves..
1. Do not confront your husband about this issue because it will aggravate the issue. 2. my advice is you should pray. Pray hard. This is not normal. If you are a catholic, this is the month of Mary, pray your rosary every day throughout the month. 3. as for your husband, think of all the things you did wrong to him before he started dating the other lady. if nothing, then think of the things that you did that he loved about you before he started dating the other lady. start doing those things again! little by little. 4. Do not forget to pray. Pray until something Happens (PUSH)
Go to God in prayers....HE NEVER FAIL I PRAY THAT WHAT SOEVA THAT BOND DEM TOGEDA BE BROKEN IJN AMEN....MADAM TRY N CHEER UP MEN R FULL OF SHIT O...EVEN IF U CRY FROM NOW TILL....HE WIL NOT MAKE HIM CHANGE HIS MIND BUT GOD CAN TRY UR BEST MAKE EVERY DAY A BEAUTIFUL ONE WIT UR KIDS LOOK GUD,IGNORE HIM N FOCUS ON UR KIDS DEY COME FIRST BY D WAY..LUKE FOR SOMETHING TO KEEP U BUSY I PRAY GOD C U TRU AMEN!
At one time or the other, a lot of us have gone thru this. You cannot change your husband, only God can. Read christian books on marriage issues, keep praying for your husband and continue to be a righteous woman. Nothing is impossible with God
Go to God in prayer. In the meantime don't nag him just make sure he takes care of his children. Get a job if you don't have one. Get busy and face your children. Trust me he will come back to his senses. He might be under some strong spiritual forces which only strong prayers can break. Make friends and make yourself happy cos you need to be strong for your children.
Men are cruel...αи∂ some ppl said love exists? Pls what is love? What does that word mean? How can u claim u love sm1 αи∂ yet u can't even keep to lil promise u made to †Ñ’ξ person? Αи∂ they will lie to †Ñ’ξ altar, still take an oath, for better for worse αи∂ yet they'd go out, cheat, lie αи∂ do all sort of things if he didn't lie about loving u, u wouldn't have married him in †Ñ’ξ first place... His kind is †Ñ’ξ reason why most gals resorts to been Lesbians Am yet to understand d mystery behind this ....u'd care bout sm1...they wouldn't give a hoot, they'd take u for granted αи∂ keep going after who doesn't care bout them
Αи∂ now sm ppl will tell u to pray about it Ur man cheats αи∂ u get to pray for him Buh if u commit same crime, †Ñ’ξ man will be asked to throw u outta his house
Pls dear, if u can't keep up with his cheating attitude, call it quits, make sure u get custody of ur 4kids αи∂ leave him to rot in that hoe's pussy.....he will still get his own punishment
Buh if u can keep up with it, then start ignoring him, do †Ñ’ξ necessary things ur ought to do buh pls don't allow him to ever touch u in d name of wanting sex. Just be very polite buh distance.....to him whenever he remembers sleepn home αи∂ not his mistress's house God will strengthen u dear
I feel ur pains cos ish like this happened within our Family Circle where a Retarded Whore whose mum was a priestess in one of dem White garment Church choose 2 become a second wife. Painful though bt i can bet ya that ur Dude is jinxed by whoever that Bitch is. Prayers Prayers prayers is the only true solution bt its gonna take time to manifest as per result things. A sad tale.
Men are cruel...αи∂ some ppl said love exists? Pls what is love? What does that word mean? How can u claim u love sm1 αи∂ yet u can't even keep to lil promise u made to †Ñ’ξ person? Αи∂ they will lie to †Ñ’ξ altar, still take an oath, for better for worse αи∂ yet they'd go out, cheat, lie αи∂ do all sort of things if he didn't lie about loving u, u wouldn't have married him in †Ñ’ξ first place... His kind is †Ñ’ξ reason why most gals resorts to been Lesbians Am yet to understand d mystery behind this ....u'd care bout sm1...they wouldn't give a hoot, they'd take u for granted αи∂ keep going after who doesn't care bout them
Αи∂ now sm ppl will tell u to pray about it Ur man cheats αи∂ u get to pray for him Buh if u commit same crime, †Ñ’ξ man will be asked to throw u outta his house
Pls dear, if u can't keep up with his cheating attitude, call it quits, make sure u get custody of ur 4kids αи∂ leave him to rot in that hoe's pussy.....he will still get his own punishment
Buh if u can keep up with it, then start ignoring him, do †Ñ’ξ necessary things ur ought to do buh pls don't allow him to ever touch u in d name of wanting sex. Just be very polite buh distance.....to him whenever he remembers sleepn home αи∂ not his mistress's house God will strengthen u dear
Stop complaining. I hope you don't nag. Concentrate your positive energy to look good. Dress well, use good cream and perfume. Look after the kids wella, take them to hols. Once you stop giving him attention, he will notice the CHANGE in you and start coming closer to know what is going in with you. If he makes any advance, give it to him like your life depends on it (go and prep yourself with new and different styles he has never felt with you) feel you babe, that man doesnt deserve your tears. Thank you
Men are cruel...αи∂ some ppl said love exists? Pls what is love? What does that word mean? How can u claim u love sm1 αи∂ yet u can't even keep to lil promise u made to †Ñ’ξ person? Αи∂ they will lie to †Ñ’ξ altar, still take an oath, for better for worse αи∂ yet they'd go out, cheat, lie αи∂ do all sort of things if he didn't lie about loving u, u wouldn't have married him in †Ñ’ξ first place... His kind is †Ñ’ξ reason why most gals resorts to been Lesbians Am yet to understand d mystery behind this ....u'd care bout sm1...they wouldn't give a hoot, they'd take u for granted αи∂ keep going after who doesn't care bout them
Αи∂ now sm ppl will tell u to pray about it Ur man cheats αи∂ u get to pray for him Buh if u commit same crime, †Ñ’ξ man will be asked to throw u outta his house
Pls dear, if u can't keep up with his cheating attitude, call it quits, make sure u get custody of ur 4kids αи∂ leave him to rot in that hoe's pussy.....he will still get his own punishment
Buh if u can keep up with it, then start ignoring him, do †Ñ’ξ necessary things ur ought to do buh pls don't allow him to ever touch u in d name of wanting sex. Just be very polite buh distance.....to him whenever he remembers sleepn home αи∂ not his mistress's house God will strengthen u dear
Av a date with ur husband away from hom n d children.Remind him of Hw u both started ;d tins u did and Hw u still love him.Tell him u no he hs been cheating and Hw u av already forgiven him.Tell him u dnt want to lose ur family.Tell him he s all u Ve got alongside d children
you are not alone sister your situation is common but here is what you should do. ask you husband about what ur issues are, that made him go out. is it ur attitude, appearance, finances , sex, friends, family or what. have an honest open conversation which will not involve insulting one another. make sure you protect urself don't hv unprotected sex with him, go for check up. if he continues don't bother him again. pray and cry to God to restore him bck to senses. sometimes you can appreciate his little effort he put into the house. if things get worse give him space, dont kill urself bcos of someones misbehavior.
Av a date with ur husband away from hom n d children.Remind him of Hw u both started ;d tins u did and Hw u still love him.Tell him u no he hs been cheating and Hw u av already forgiven him.Tell him u dnt want to lose ur family.Tell him he s all u Ve got alongside d children ...May God help u
The only thing he wants is for u to leave.they will always come back to their senses so all u need is to stay put and be prayerful so that nothing bad happens to him cos u ll still be the one to bear all at the end. Pls stay for the sake of ur children,as long as he is not disturbing u in any other manner,my mum did it and she's grateful to God now for it. Be strong dear
Wt I thought is dt ur hubby is in bondage,he may nt kno wt he is doing,u need to seek spiritual assistance asap unless,he won't even remember his children again,my prayer is dt God wil restore wt is stolen frm u.
My dear go to mfm prayer city and cry to the God of Elijah....the founder of the institution of marriage....tell Him to restore that which He has founded. And rain fire upon every strange woman that has been sent from the pit of hell to steal ur husband. Kpele love. It is well. Only God can do this one now. No amount of advice can save this ur marriage again except divine intervention. The kind of intervention that kept shadrach, mesach and abednego alive in the fiery furnace, the kind that kept Daniel alive in the lions den, the kind of intervention that parted the red sea for the children of Israel to walk thru on dry land. Go to God my dear only He can help u now.
Dear ma you have to take heart i know how you feels right now,what you have to do his to take your issues to God court i mean pray and fast to God tell God you need your husband back to his normal senses i believe with God all thing are possible okay.
Please my dear sister, the best thing for you to do is to be on your knees. Or maybe you can probably find what that lady have that you don't. Go through his phone and discover more things about the lady
The African mentality will first of all tell me that your husband might be under some sort of spell especially due to selfish gains,if this is the case and regardless of what the case is,keep praying for him,he will come back to his senses as times goes on and we pray it's not too late.also try to search your heart truthfully,what have u been doing wrong?every companion is graciously seasoned with the gift of sexual intimacy,see if you lack doing it the way he wants in this regard,how neat are you?how did u attend to matters prior to his recent attitude?havr u shifted ur love to the kids ?this also affects men most times,right now the public is only reading your own version of the story,what if there are other version which might give us another side to know what's really wrong?first of all,your husband went to this girl himself obviously but why did he go there first?did dis attitude come up suddenly or dis was how he was before u married him and probably married him cos u wanted to marry and u tot he was going be a different man,regardless of all dis ,you need to be happy,take steps to addressing yourself first,always appear neat wenever he comes home,give him d best of u,food and otherwise ,when he is away,txt him witout insulting him and make him feel like he is meddling wit someone dat can never be who he left at home,girls dat curse deir man and insult deir men are taking advantage of the mans kindness and all bcos he shows to that girl he loves her and he won't be happy wit all of dat and wen he sees you are an irreplaceable woman ,he wil come back to his senses and never go back,just keep trying and when it's too much confront him for a divorce lol
madam pack your things leave that house. your marriage is over. if you don't have anywhere else to go stay and face your children and find work to do if you don't already have, stop treating that so called husband as your god, don't give him face anymore.because the more you hold on to him, the more you suffer. when you are gone if he doesn't miss you, take it that you dodged a bullet, if he misses you and comes to his senses, fine.for now there is nothing else you can do but withdraw.
My dear, I seriously feel bad about this, cos I know what it means, and d. Kind of trauma u must b passing tru, Pls don't b tired, go on ur knees and pray n fast, thr's no miracle that surpasses dis, I bet u, ur husband is under a spell by that lady, Pls put on ur armour for prayers, do not b tired, keep on praying ur paryers point shld b let d lord cause confusion in thr mist n scatter dat r/ship, thankGod u said thy r fightn now, pray dat fight never ends cont. To pray n fast ur husband ll cm back. Early dis year I faced same problm but God send confusion in2 that friendship tday thy don't talk to eachother. Don't b tired Pls, continue to pray he ll definitely cm back.
My dear, I seriously feel bad about this, cos I know what it means, and d. Kind of trauma u must b passing tru, Pls don't b tired, go on ur knees and pray n fast, thr's no miracle that surpasses dis, I bet u, ur husband is under a spell by that lady, Pls put on ur armour for prayers, do not b tired, keep on praying ur paryers point shld b let d lord cause confusion in thr mist n scatter dat r/ship, thankGod u said thy r fightn now, pray dat fight never ends cont. To pray n fast ur husband ll cm back. Early dis year I faced same problm but God send confusion in2 that friendship tday thy don't talk to eachother. Don't b tired Pls, continue to pray he ll definitely cm back.
Sharap there, you didn't tell us the ups and down you hard with him... you have pushed your husband out, now you are complaining. Believe me, your so-called marriage is finish... he has found love out side, there's nothing you can do other than to locate your fathers house.
My dear what you need to do is to take advantage of this period that their apart, pray more and arrest his heart in prayer, declare total separation in their mist using the word of God that says what God has join together let no one put asunder and my dear try to be nice to him and dress sexy althrough.
Madame, you clearly love your husband and want the marraige to work, but he doesn't love you and doesn't respect you. Have an honest discussion with him where you let him know what your prepared to do if he continues not to live up to his role as a father.Tell him you love him and want to make things work but only if he's willing to as well. Mean what you say, and be prepared to leave him if he doesn't agree to your conditions; the time for pleading and begging is over, and in fact it would only make him lose more respect for you.Time to stand up for what you deserve as his wife & mother of his 4 kids, and pick up and leave him if he doesnt see reason.btw, save those text messages somewhere, you may need the evidence later.
First of all start gathering as much of his wealth as you can, then when you are done, call up his mistress, arrange a date or simply tell her who you are and how many kids you have with your husband. Make sure not to cause a scene you are going there to let her know she is dealing with a married man with a wife and kids; you show her wedding pictures. Then go home pack up your kids and go far away from your home, away from your family. Make sure the money you steal is enough to wreck him or at least dent his account. And take his best car too if he has more than one. No need sticking around in that marriage, he doesn't love you anymore.
Lol at depressed..its pointless being depressed. Men r recognised dogs u shuda slotted dat in in order to survive. Well u myt choose to b depressed n unhappy den subject ur 4kids to suffering and pain wen u eventually pass away out a sorrow,its very simple be practical and do only what makes u and ur kids happy. And always remember God isn't asleep!
Sometimes I wonder what gets into men to treat women like dogs, i wonder what goes through their mind and what right they have to treat women the way they do, a law should be made for all those unfaithful people to go jail when caught cheating. My dear never leave ur matrimonial home for any woman, not after all u have worked for including the humiliation u got. Most importantly pray about it...
i really think you should have a long talk with him, and if that doesn't go well, id advise you move out with your kids and have a lot of time to cool off. in due time he'll come to his senses . most importantly PRAY TO GOD. he has all the answers, be strong honey!
Hello, You need to find out if he left you for something you did or something you are not doing. Some men are bad at communication. They do not like something and will prefer to not talk about it but look elsewhere for fulfillment. Its not an excuse really, but you have to find out. There's no smoke without fire. How do you find out? Look for someone very close to him (especially friend or someone within his family) who can help you do the research. If you are able to find that out, then uproot the tree from the root, rather than try to cut the branches. Fix that issue immediately. You must also be prayerful. There are some wild women out there who will stop at nothing to get the man they want. Its obvious you really love your husband. Don't stop please. Do not also make the mistake of infecting the children with this situation by telling them about their father's lifestyle. Also, NEVER be tempted to leave, except if he begins to physically abuse you.
My elder sister's husband left home too like that some years back. He began to date and live with a lady from his workplace. My mom encouraged my sister to stay put and take care of the children. When the jazz the woman used on him timed out, he found his way home with loads of apologies. Now, they travel around together on holiday. I pray that God will restore your marriage and reunite your husband with you soonest. Stay strong and blessed sister.
Don't mind the stupid men.most of the time they realize when its too late.My dads mistress left him when he got broke after years of sucking him dry and giving us peanut.Now he is all alone at 70+
Babe...it's easy visit MFM, and pray the prayers of strange women against my marriage...no 13 Olasimbo street,Onike, Yaba. Behind Unilag back gate. The spiritual controls the physical. That strange woman would definitely live your husband for good with your marriage restored...
First of all start gathering as much of his wealth as you can, then when you are done, call up his mistress, arrange a date or simply tell her who you are and how many kids you have with your husband. Make sure not to cause a scene you are going there to let her know she is dealing with a married man with a wife and kids; you show her wedding pictures. Then go home pack up your kids and go far away from your home, away from your family. Make sure the money you steal is enough to wreck him or at least dent his account. And take his best car too if he has more than one. No need sticking around in that marriage, he doesn't love you anymore.
If you can afford to take care of your kids , you have to free him, he's in love n there is nothing you can do unless the woman leaves him. If u are financially independent, ask him to leave, if he and the girl break up he will come back to you. But you still have to give him hell you found out, silent will make him lose respect for you. Hevwill do it over n over because their is no repercussion.
If you can afford to take care of your kids , you have to free him, he's in love n there is nothing you can do unless the woman leaves him. If u are financially independent, ask him to leave, if he and the girl break up he will come back to you. But you still have to give him hell you found out, silent will make him lose respect for you. He will do it over n over because their is no repercussion.
Marriage is not a do or die affair you know everything you need to know, move on with your life, life is too short you can have it better. What other advice do you want, am sure you know it, you need to move on.
This is an opportunity for you to prove to him beyond unreasonable doubt, that you love him with passion. Although, is painful but don't feel depress always show him love and pray to God for his intervention because he's only one to solve the problem. i will also pray for you. You will never lose your husband for another woman says da Lord
Dis is really sad, dis is ur best opportunity my dear, pls make use of it judiciously by going 2 God in fasting n prayer, also check ur ways n c wat u v stopped doing ever since u marry. Check ur dressing, ur frnds, ur fud n stature. God bless u
Prayer's alone can not b d only solution. I suggest dat she calls her family, and hubby family to intervene in d issue bcos when he married her he became part of her family members.D families can sincerely help to solve d issue@hand instead of keeping it to hersef.
To Linda&all LIB readers...
Henceforth u r going> From backward to forward, From nobody to somebody, From downgrade to upgrade, From impossible to possible, From repossession to possession, From zero to hero, From flee to free, From rift to rich, From stress to strength, From scar to star, From trial to triumph, and From test to testimony.
May this new month of May bring blessings, joy, and testimonies 2u, and ur household. Happy New Mnth&Worker's Day.
So many of dis is found in virtually all societies dis days. U r in already, 4 kids! All I can say is hold on 2 God tak ur troubles 2 him n find a way of pacifying ur hubby so dat he can b comin @ least,neva mentn d woman dat may anger him more...in fact am speech only can b sufficient 4 u
This must hurt, I think its time to confront him about the fact that you know the truth; Also, you should go speak to his family and see what they say. At the end of he day you already have 4 kids, if he is not asking you to leave or asking for a divorce, this may sound bad but I think you should just concentrate on your kids and leave him alone to run around, he'll come back to his senses some day trust me, if you guys had no kids I'll be the first to tell you to dump his ass but I don't think its the right decision right now.
Show your strength! I don't know enough about you from your write up, but do you work or are you a stay at home mum? You need to channel your energy and emotion at something. Anything other than him. If you have a business or you work, now is the time to take it to the next level. If you are a stay at home mum, now is the time to find something worthwhile to occupy more of your time Most men respond to strength, especially the cheating ones, and when I say show your strength, i mean exactly that, show that you can survive without him or that you don’t need him to keep going. This doesn’t mean fighting or snubbing him or any such thing, no, get yourself to a place where he no longer can get to you or make you sad, or at least, make yourself appear so when he is there. Never ever let him see you’re vulnerable. Just act like everything is normal, like he is your brother, no frowning or crying or begging, no shouting at him. Just let him be. He expects you to nag and cry and ask him why and stuff, DO NOT! Just a simple welcome when he is home will suffice. Are you hungry to which the answer is most likely no will also do. Concentrate on your kids when he is home. Learnt to read them stories and enjoy their company. If he decides to talk and starts shouting or threatening, never reply, listen and keep quite LET HIM BE! He will reboot and come back. The fact that you are ‘weak’ is fuel to his lust. Stop feeding it. Once you show your strength, he will most likely, eventually wonder what he wants. And if all this fail, by the time he is finally gone, you will be ready to start again, you would have gotten yourself ready to keep going and you will go places.
I see from your write up you still love him, this is hoping that you get him back…Happy May Day
Am very sure u don't know how to fvck ur husband well..Cos most gals are beautiful but cant perform or withstand long sex..D mistress is doing stuff u dont..so move on
pls dear don't torture yourself. i know it hurts but you need to move on with ur life coz he has moved on. focus on ur children and I hope you've a job? if you do my dear free ur spirit take live one day at a time and you'll see how things fall in place for you. if he wants a divorce give it to him, free yourself and focus on ur children, who knows maybe you'll get a better man who will appreciate you. Be cheerful no man is worth killing yourself for, besides his there enjoying himself. love and pamper yourself dear life's too short. SWWET ANONYMOUS.
its simple love give him a taste of his own medicine! prtend your dating someone else who is more succesful and better looking! if that doesnt work it means he never loved you
This is why is good for women to be independent b4 going into any marriage. The best thing u can do is to ignore him and make ur children the centre of ur world. I will not advise u to pack out of ur matrimonial home but make it a home for urself and ur kids. Keep urself busy make friends including guys. Discuss open relationship with ur husband, yes he is into it already but make it official so that he will also know that u are also interested in some guys even tho u are not or u can also try to live ur life as if he doesn't exist bcs u hav only one life n ur kids needs u.
Na wa ooo....this z obviously not #Ordinary...d truth z u hv 2 be vewy #Prayerful..u can meet wv ur pastor,so that he can also try & assist u in prayers...i pray God intervenes in ur marital issue...#TakeCare
I always say there is a reason for cheating, you cant keep doing the same thing, youve been married for years and he's probably bored of the same thing over and over again, no be for getting married hin end,check yourself, you see there are things these ladies outside are doing that you can do for your husband but you would not. I cant justify his cheating, but in as much as we are christians or muslims we are humans and there is so much this body can take at the end of the day. He wont be cheating if he got what he was getting from his mistress from you.So try and remember what he so much wanted from you before he started cheating and give him, some men its food, some its crazy sex with head that makes most nigerian men cheat, some its peace at home, but overall treat him like a boyfriend and not a husband thats a good start.
Ever heard of 'communication'? If the so called husband felt she was doing something wrong...did he communicate?did he let her know?We are so messed up that we tend to make up excuses for 'cheating husbands or boyfriends'- oh he's a guy,he's human...blaa blaa blaa...isn't she human too?Or does he think if she wanted to cheat she wouldn't find someone to cheat with?like Chimamanda said we have set men as the standard so somehow it is okay for him to mess up n go scot free but if it's a woman- God Forbid! did she go to another man when he started misbehaving?Why can't he 'treat her like a girlfriend'?...Anyway I think she should just dedicate her time to taking care of her kids n live her life...abeg no send am...let's just hope he realises it before its too late
This is really touching! All I can say is go down on ur kneels and pray, search where u are nt up and doing make amends and leave all to God. He will make u happy.
Madam looks like things have gone out of hand, this is why i always preach that women should make their own money and take good care of themselves. This is coming from you and from your story you have no fault which i don't believe, you must have also done something to your DH, search yourself. If all you said is true and his love for her is natural then madam you either move on or start serious prayers. SORRY MADAM..This side bitches are not smiling at all o. Did you say he has even stopped making love to you???…That is very serious.
Leave the man alone before it gets worse, cases like this can aggravate to violence towards you later, if u are meant to be he will come back, depending on how financially strong u are, u can rent a place with ur kids but if u are not pretend not to care about him anymore and if possible date other people but if can't date pray that he will see the error of his ways.
My dear go down on your knees, you have been doing that? Ok, keep doing that. Look for a living word Church around and start attending, you are in one already? Ok, look for a Dominion city Church around you and if you are in Abuja come to the one in Gwarinpa, and your life will never be the same, not just your marriage I mean your whole life will never ever be the same. To every adversity Satan brings our way, God turns into a testimony, if only we commit to him and do it his way.and this is the time to love and show your husband more love than ever, not matter how stupid his reactions makes you feel or look. Love like a child now. Read 1 corinthians 13 and pratice what you see there and one day he will come home crying on your lap like a child to his mother. May God give the peace you need to pass through this In Jesus name Amen!
*Sigh*....this man has destroyed your self esteem i don't know if you have any savings or job i suggest u start to seriously sort out your finances while you try to work through this mess..May i ask where are your family members and his family members maybe you can get them involved or his very close friends can intervene..... bt overall before giving up on your marriage seek the face of God seriously He has at the blueprint for the restoration of your home and your life..Cheer up this is not new to God.
It breaks my heart to read things like this, I havevgone through same infact in my case they had a son together. My advice is WAIT, don't fight don't worry don't cry. Just be still, let him know that you know and continue to pray for yourself and your children. He will come back to you. Mine is back home with me right now and am even friend with the Lady she has married another man.
Brace up dear . U ve actually lost him. That's not the end of the world hun? Get yourself up, seek a good job, look good and if possible discuss with him on how to cater for the kids. He's not some sort of god that you should die on his matter. Pls stay alive for yourself and kids not for any man.
Go on your kneels and pray for your husband back....he will come back to you...God gave him to u, ask God to bring him back...and do not quarrel with him anymore.
Just pray to God. if you've been doin that, then keep it up, dnt stop. Your husband might not even be doin it wit clear eyes, it's only prayers that can change things cos If you decide to leave the marriage, you'd only be creating more space for the other woman.
Also you can try having a dialogue wit him not about his affaire but about the relationship between u 2, what went wrong, why he no longer has time for/touch you.
If you have you wedding video, play it wen he's around. That might remind him why he loved you, how good things used to be and the vows he took.
Pray more. Remind God of his promises eg in; 1)John 14:14 which says that 'whatever we ask in His name, he will do it' ; 2) Mathew 7:7 says we should ask and we shall be given, we shld seek and we shall find and we shld knock and the door wld be open for us. 3) Jeremiah 32:27 says I'm the Lord of all flesh, IS THERE ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR ME? Remind him he said there's nothing too hard for him.
I'm not so much of a church goer but I knw one thing for sure 'God is a doer of his words', He never fails. He will answer you.
Sister, men want what they cannot have, you have given your husband the impression that you will always be by his side no matter how he treats you. To him, you have now become rgr backup plan. My advise to you is to pack your children and leave the house, after a while, your man will come back to his senses, take the bull by the horn, take control of your relationship, its either her, or you.
Be patient and prayerful, there is nothing impossible for God, God can still change him but Mind u, if he is destined to marry 2 wives, there is nothing anybody can do about it, that is what most of the. ladies don't get, truth. Must b told, no matter what.
Honestly, I don't know why women do this. When you make yourself too vulnerable to a man, he will surely take you for granted. Allow them to be the vulnerable ones and that's probably what the other lady has done. Now to change this situation, you need to act like you're moving on...just don't be as concerned about him.... when you fight, don't beg. Stop begging him. It's not helping, you're making yourself seem helpless. Do your own thing...when you know he's going to be around, go out somewhere. Make yourself less accessible. He knows that when that other lady rejects him, you'll be waiting. You need to change that assumption. If you're overweight, try and lose some weight, dress up nicely, wear makeup but don't act like its him you're doing it for, you're doing it for yourself, you want to be attractive. This is a trick I use- when he's around, be on your phone a lot...laugh if you must. Let his mind wonder. You're obviously not happy but my dear, you need to act like you are. The part about him not having sex with you is very troubling...what man won't want to have sex? It just shows that he's very committed to the woman. i believe the only way you can get your man back is if you start slipping away. Whether it'll work depends on how much this woman has him under her control. Dont even entertain his fights, when he starts insulting you, walk away. DO NOT BEG. You're not a child, you're a woman, a mother and should be treated as such. He even sounds very irresponsible, leaving his children for months. Now if you act like you don't care and you can see that he's slowly coming back to you, send a text to the woman that she should know that he's married with kids. She'll probably kick him out and when he realises he has a wife that's pulling away too(no one wants him), he will come begging...atleast for the sake of his kids. Of course, this all depends on if he loved you at the start and just needs to be reminded of why he shouldn't lose you. Good luck.
my dear,first of all,let me ask a question. did ur husband pay for ur bride price and marry u the way a woman is supposed to be married according to tradition?. If yes,then try to call him and ask him were u have gone wrong and wat the matter is. if it does nt work,be very prayerful don't be surprised DAT bitch is using juju . ask God to direct u and show u how u will get ur husband back.
Focus on taking care of yourself and the children. He rented another apartment? Then use the time you have to work on being able to cater for yourself and your children. Do not beg him when you have clearly done nothing wrong. Men hate that. Do not disrespect him but do not disrespect yourself either. I'd be praying for you. You can do this. Also go to church to pray with your kids- every Sunday. If he does not want to come with you- that's fine. Love him but live like a single mom in your married home- Trust me- he'd see the woman he first fell in love with.
I feel for you,but most times we are our own enemies. At other times, we find ourselves in situations we can't control. Most women lose it the moment they start having kids. They turn themselves to "mama" not noticing the latent irritation on their men's faces. It takes a miracle for a woman to keep her man to herself. Forget the lies some cheap men tell you. Again, it's not always the woman's fault. Presently,I'm at a loss myself. I get irritated after dating a woman for a while. The same things that attracted me to her,begin to irritate me. It's something I can't explain. Madam,stop being a 'mama' if you've been one, stop begging him when he's at fault. Develop yourself. You sound like someone with inferiority complex. Make sure you're financially independent if you aren't. Again,be honest with yourself, do you think your husband "stooped" low to marry you? If 'yes', you're in big SHIT! It means your sorrows will continue.Pardon my being blunt. That's the koko! An older friend of mine told me he regretted marrying his wife. He said she was too local and wondered why he made that "mistake". They haven't fucked for 3yrs according to him. He purposely kept her in a different town. Madam I wish you well. For the single girls out there,never ever marry a man you know deep down inside you is not your "level". You all know what I mean,cos one of you would definitely regret the marriage someday irrespective of how nice or lovely your spouse is. E go tire you one day.
If u re stil interested den I think itz time 2 get on your knees n start praying. Get closer to ur maker... to ur husband stop making him feel ur life revolves round him... take care of ur children n make urself happy. hang out with friends dress sexier, wen ever he is home finish him with love n stop complaining. D Lord help u.
Sorry about that sis! But number one copy the number from his fone number after that if he keep up a fight with chill o! Wait until it late at night den start your own buy make sure you dial her number and hide your number she will be listening to your conversation make sure you make her miserable well well! Call her frustrate her life and don't let your husband know that u know he has a mistress outside don't give a clue atall then later you deal with your husband! In fact give your female friend which ur husband font know her number they should tell she is just a fool that he his fooling her like he as fooled them too! Acted with sense!....... and if your are his problem maybe you ave a attitude which he does not like try and make amendment change! And pray to God too! Look good for him and make him always wanting to have have you all to himself even you don born 10 children.......... Good luck
Pray,pray,pray. As long as you are his legal,wife you have authority to take charge of the situation. Life is spiritual.speak to the situation and not about the situation. Continue to respect your husband and love him. Hard as it may be,wisdom is profitable to direct. Handle it on your knees and watch God sort out the rest. All the best.
Isn't this marriage in name only if you have no sex, practically live alone, get no affection from your husband? It's time to decide whether you stay as a side chick in your own marriage or move on and give yourself peace.
Personally, I have no experience whatsoever with marriage, still a young lady, but I believe with men, one has to take very careful steps, especially when it comes to extra marital affairs, firstly you should work on yourself, he seems really interested by this new lady, so he most probably got bored of you, which is not your fault entirely, Start working out, you mentioned you have 4 kids, so they might have taken a toll on your body, Exercise more and change your diet, take care of yourself, dress nice and most importantly speak to your God, talk to him and tell him your worries, he is an Amazing God and he always listens. right now focus on yourself and your work, better yourself in terms of your physical fitness, your source of income and your spirituality with God, and also try to be the best mother you can be, And then watch him come back to beg like the dog he is.
Pray to God about it..embrace ursef..be strong...happy and take care of ur children.its not dat easy buh u hv to try.dont leave ur home for any1 dats for ursef nd ur children.ignore him sef .dress good stay pretty and leave everything into God's hand.
Pls just pray n watch God do the unexpected in ur home . Those evil ex always ve a strong hold on them (husbands) but God will sure bring ur husband to u n ur lovely children.
My dear don't mind those asking u to leave, ur children will be d once to suffer , kneel & pray he will come back to u when he must have come back to his senses. Your children should be ur priority now also know that had times doesn't last but hard people do. God be with u.
Linda abeg - email this to the LIB reader personally. Don't let my comment go in vain biko :-)
My dear sister - since it is sex that is keeping him there, you have to give him some mind blowing sex that will keep him home with you.
If you know you are not that good in bed (be honest - do you just do missionary?), watch some porn to widen your knowledge of sex positions...doggy, cow girl etc.
Then take your 4 kids to spend the night with grandma or grandpa or at a sleepover or wherever..
Cook the best meal that you have not yet cooked for him in his entire life...make him enjoy that food girl.
Then make sure you buy some new sexy underwear...it has to be SEXY (google for ideas on what to wear, go on Ann Summers website for ideas too). Then give him some mind blowing sex!!!! Everything you learnt from watching porn..use it on your man...ride him like a horse - exhaust him and love him with sex. Be that freak in the bedroom!!!
If he doesn't come back to you - then know that the other woman may have used Jazz (if such power does exist)...if he does stay at home, continue to learn new sexy things as regularly as possible...dress up...make your body right.
Dont be a nag and make sure that you provide him a home that he will be rushing to come to and you will see him put in some effort.
Am sorry bout your plight and I hope u read dis. My dear, life is REALM vs REALM. See you better calm down and understand the logic. The other woman has raised an ALTAR against u and ur household and controls you from the 3rd Realm n u are here crying. Wia z ya own altar. Are you fighting wit bare hands wen the other woman has sent Ghost 4rm her sacrifice to work for her? Wot can u give to God to have ya own ghost fighting for you. Wia she went or the evil spell working on ur husband was achieved because she made sacrifice to move her intention. She didn't go der wit bare hands, she had to drop somtin in exchange for your husband. You wot can u drop for God to get ya husband back? Life is altar vs altar. D lower altar bows. The occults understands d game very well dats y dey always in 3rd Realm because of the kind of sacrifice dey make thereby sending out ghosts to achieve wot they want . It's only in churches dat we deceive our self n pray n go home witout giving God anytin and u expect Magic? Dats a big lie. Simple questions.... wen u join an occult, you make huge sacrifice isn't it? Wen u go see a native doctor, you drop either chicken or goat or cow isn't it? Then u come to the house if God u come empty handed n expect magic. It's a big lie. Read your bible on prophet who made sacrifice to God n got immediate result. Abraham, David n host of dem. So keep crying ok while the other woman keeps raising altar against u and ur household. U beta wake up and seek a true prophet of God n start raising ur own to counterfeit the ghost dat is controlling your husband. Like I said life is altar vs altar, realm vs realm. Simple logic. Wen you pray u r only a 1st realmer. No voice yet. Wen u fast u enter d 2nd realm still no voice. Wen u make sacrifice, u enter the 3rd Realm, u have a VOICE der too. Remember life is bin controlled by 3rd Realm. Dats y if dey wanna ki someone in d occult Kingdom, dey first summon ya spirit in the 3rd Realm . B4 d prsn eventually dies 4rm one sickness or road accident or somtin. In a nutshell my dear, life is bin controlled by d 3rd Realm n u don't have a voice in d 3rd Realm.
Funny how we present ourselves as angels in our own stories, this story lacks vital details, u can't tell me u got all this details by picking up his phone one day, pls admin vet stories before posting.
Been in a situation like this but God helped me. To the Glory of God, he's back home with me now and she's history. First and foremost, I'll advice you to get closer to God. Pray, dedicating your husband to God(body, spirit, soul) and ask God to use him and your family for His Glory. Secondly, get busy. Channel your energy to something productive so dat u will hardly av time think abt what he's putting you through. Then talk to someone he respects so much, could be his parents or pastor so they can help call him to order. Take care of your kids, look good always and make yourself happy. No man is worth your tears. If you feel like crying, feel free to cry to God. He is still in d business of answering prayers. May God restore ur home like he did to mine. God bless!
Madame I counted the responses for you.roughly 65 advised Prayer as your best option; 27 said Stay; 25 said Leave him; and 10 advised talking it out with him/family intervention. So my dear, start praying seriously, but be equally ready to stay or leave him, but Keep the communication lines open, & consider involving family to help. Thank me later! #lindaihailOo
reading from the comments i see why more and more nigerian men treat their wives so badly.... how can you ask her to pray for him... the almighty God himself plus the bible supports divorce in-case of infidelity... she has the right to be happy, and in this case only divorce can give her happiness... that man clearly doesnt deserve her.
Divorce em! Shekenan!
ReplyDeleteIt's not by divorcing... D bible says the violent take the by force. Come visit my store n get some things to spice up ur love life with ur husband, trust me it works. So take ur husband back by force n stop being a doormat - www.konga.com/naughtybynature
DeleteJust move on wit ur life
DeleteDivorce, straight away... man no fit drink garri for my head o. ..
Delete* * * Linda's 1st Daughter * * *
Grab those evidence u'v just written here and file for a divorce..leaving him will be for ur own good..if u'r beautiful and hardworking a man will come for u..before they murder u someday so as to unite forever
ReplyDeleteMy dear the only option is to leave him and move on with ur life.
DeletePray and fast that's what he needs now. He is under some influence. And ask him if he is still interested in you
ReplyDeleteCan't imagine the pain you must be going through, please seek counselling and PRAY. That's all I can say.
ReplyDeleteWell sister, there must have been some clues along the way, u just refused to notice them.....the truth is when it comes to marriage, u can only pray that God helps u. No other "Legal" and "innocent" way to go about it. #hehe Mistress.... na wa o
ReplyDeletePlease poster, it's a new month please hian let's not start with this your husbands infidelity matter biko
ReplyDeleteThat man needs prayer..call him,sit him down and ask him what went wrong
ReplyDeletewww.glowyshoe.blogspot.com
Hello, Kindly use wisdom with patient.Don't let her send you away in ur Home.God will answer your prayer..Kunle Ola.
ReplyDeleteStay strong for your kids. Continue praying and showing him love, your man will come back.
ReplyDeleteSeek d face of God cos juju is involved.
ReplyDeleteMy dear,pls leave him and focus on ur kids and if u keep thinking abt this issue u will just die of thinking .
ReplyDeleteMiss indomie says so.
pray and fast....thats all....If I were in ur shoes,thats the only option i woukd choose.
ReplyDeleteIf you're financially stable then leave, if you're not then stay but if you dont have and hes not giving and still doing like that! My sister pack your bag...
ReplyDeleteMy dear go down on your knees, prayer is the key, and believe, God will ans ur prayers and restore ur home, He will help u in ur difficulties, Amen, take heart, is well
ReplyDeletedear sis, i understand ur plight nd ur feelings towards ur marriage but i will let u understand dat not amount of ur pleas can stop him from doing wat he has in mind, he wnt relent until he is being pushed away by the woman outside but i can only tell u dat u focus on ur 4 kids nd also be praying for him to have change of mind but as d issue is now ur kids should be ur main priority after dat he will come back begging in more folds of times u beg him, stay bless sis God is ur strenght nd dont relent......
ReplyDeleteA lot of married men are so useless,i don't know why they stopped loving their wives
ReplyDeleteUnless you haven't got financial autonomy, you shouldn't hav to deal with this.
ReplyDeleteYou need to have physical and straight talk with him. It is man nature to cheat but let him know the dangers of contracting diseases and infecting you. After that just pray.
ReplyDeleteYou need to have physical and straight talk with him. It is man nature to cheat but let him know the dangers of contracting diseases and infecting you. After that just pray.
ReplyDeleteTurn to God. Pray hard there's nothing God cannot do.
ReplyDeleteFrom ur story, I can deduce u're a good woman wit a good heart and who is willing to uphold her marriage no matter what. However, I see this as a trying time in ur marriage and I'll advice u to turn to God and seek him more cos in this case, he's the only option and I bet u he still restores broken home the last time I check. Selah!
ReplyDeleteMen will always be men.. If I where you I will call thAt woman and ask my hubby if truly he is cheating
ReplyDeleteWell, what's happening to you is no news. 2 things I think may have being the cause, is either your husband is under a spell or there's something you are not doing right. Now my advise is this, now that they are having issues, get a Pastor counsel you guys and as for you find out those things you are not doing right and step up your game.
ReplyDeleteIt's your life, you already know what you should do, but you don't want to. I don't condone divorce based on lack of love because love comes and goes. But once the love meant for you has been given to another, forget about ever gettin it back, your not in a marriage anymore, it's a civil partnership
ReplyDeleteDearest pls fight for ur man on ur knees. He is definitely not in control of the situation. The forces behind this are not for d ordinary eye to see. Understand that the fight is not against ur husband but You. U r already depressed,thats d evidence. If u can't pray,ask God for help and guidance to d right fellowship like mountain of Fire,etc. My prayers are also with u. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteMen n deir chicken brain... Its just so sad..well wat I'll say is continue being d gud wife u are. Pray as well. U can also confront him with your allegations n hear wat he has to say...
ReplyDeleteIt's painful but my dear sister,its time for you to leave his house and move on. Perfect upkeep allowance plan for the kids and move out of his house before he does something drastic. All the best and May God be with you during this trying period and always. Take care!
ReplyDeleteDear Madam,
ReplyDeleteThis is an unfortunate event, however, it is your chance to get your husband back. Show him a lot of love. Don't be confrontational. Can you remember what he loved about you. Show more of it. Did you do something wrong, before he started avoiding you? How wrong is it? All of this may have accounted for it. This may make him to distrust you.
It is not late. You can still make it better as the marriage Institution was meant to be a learning and joyful experience. You shall have cause to celebrate. Pray and praise God for victory
Prayer is the key, pray for wisdom, strength to overcome. The heart of a King is in God's hand. Keep praying.
ReplyDeletePrayer is the key, pray for wisdom, strength to overcome. The heart of a King is in God's hand. Keep praying.
ReplyDeletePray pray pray God will answer. Ur prayerpls don't leave ur husband.
ReplyDeleteWoman, go down on ur knees...declare fasting and praying section for ur household...do it with all commitment and see God take charge!
ReplyDeleteReally sad! Do u have a job or business...or interest? you should keep being you and concentrate on activities which can fulfill you. Most importantly, seek the hand of God's intervention in your marriage. Whatever happens, u'll be fine.
ReplyDeleteMy dear am sorry dats wat most women r passing through, all I have to tell u is to put in prayer cos is only God dat can see u through. If u can't bear de plans any longer I call for separation cos if u die now. U will go to hell fire cos u r not at peace with ur hubby. Also check urself if dia r somethings u always do dat push him away from u. I know how u feels cos dats wat am passing through too.
ReplyDeletemy dear keep calm and keep praying for GOD intervention...Team@seybyth
ReplyDeletewhen love grows cold, and then goes sour. get on your knees woman and ask for guidance from God
DeleteUNCOVERED
She walked down the stairs, her mind spinning out of control. She didn’t know when she got to the end of the staircase, and she tripped. She held unto the wall, to keep her from falling on her face.
No one seemed to pay attention to her. All around her there was a buzz of activity. She felt like screaming. Why did she have to go through her pains all alone? Why didn’t anyone care how she felt? People passed by her, going up and the stairs without even a nod in her direction. She felt so helpless.
This isn’t the life she was supposed to be living, she felt like she was living inside the body of a stranger. Why has life decided to deal her this hand? How could she explain what her life had decided to turn into?
Hard as she tried, she couldn’t shake the feeling that had been overwhelming her these past months, that has finally exhibited itself on this day. She walked slowly towards the back door, and stepped out into the courtyard.
Her mind wandered back to the days….. the days her husband’s mother always referred to as her days of glory. Those days when she was still young and vibrant. She had the world at her feet.
She had everything going on very pleasantly for her. She was easily the prettiest girl in her vicinity. She had dreams of going abroad, to further her career as a midwife. She was fresh out of the school of midwifery, and the world beckoned on her. She was responding to that call, until that fateful day.
She had received a call, to attend to a woman in labour. She had been standing at the bus stop for over thirty minutes, and had gotten no luck at getting a cab going in her direction. She was getting really anxious, as the case at hand was very critical. continue reading
Sometimes in life we never like the ones who want us but keep chasing the one who doesn't. You have four lovely kids to consider and what's best for them. And also what example you the parents are setting for them, U don't want ur boys growing up thinking it's alright to hurt and disrespect women the way their dad is doing now. Nor do u want your girls thinking its ok to be treated that way. Apart from u being a mother, it's also ur life and u know how much it hurts, only u can make d best decision for urself. If u think ur hubby is worth it and that there's a chance then endure and pray hard for God's intervention. But be sure Wht ur parying for cos most times we pray and yawn for wht isn't really ours or best for us. Wishing u all the best.
ReplyDeletePrayers my dear...go to a good man if God let him lay hands on u...ok...then check ur self, know wia u went wrong...ur looks,ur carriage,ur attitude to sex, d way u treat him...lure him bak...make d home desirable...kip it neat,warm,cozy,sexy always,start dressing sexy,look lik u r 21 ok...most women just marry b let go of themselves..
ReplyDeleteWORD!!!!! I agree 100%.
DeleteMy dear, fast and pray very well
ReplyDelete1. Do not confront your husband about this issue because it will aggravate the issue.
ReplyDelete2. my advice is you should pray. Pray hard. This is not normal. If you are a catholic, this is the month of Mary, pray your rosary every day throughout the month.
3. as for your husband, think of all the things you did wrong to him before he started dating the other lady. if nothing, then think of the things that you did that he loved about you before he started dating the other lady. start doing those things again! little by little.
4. Do not forget to pray. Pray until something Happens (PUSH)
I concur
DeleteSeek the face of GOD
ReplyDeleteTher is nofin you can do....jst go on ur kneels ad cry to God.
ReplyDeleteWonders
ReplyDeleteGo to God in prayers....HE NEVER FAIL I PRAY THAT WHAT SOEVA THAT BOND DEM TOGEDA BE BROKEN IJN AMEN....MADAM TRY N CHEER UP MEN R FULL OF SHIT O...EVEN IF U CRY FROM NOW TILL....HE WIL NOT MAKE HIM CHANGE HIS MIND BUT GOD CAN TRY UR BEST MAKE EVERY DAY A BEAUTIFUL ONE WIT UR KIDS LOOK GUD,IGNORE HIM N FOCUS ON UR KIDS DEY COME FIRST BY D WAY..LUKE FOR SOMETHING TO KEEP U BUSY I PRAY GOD C U TRU AMEN!
ReplyDeleteAt one time or the other, a lot of us have gone thru this. You cannot change your husband, only God can. Read christian books on marriage issues, keep praying for your husband and continue to be a righteous woman. Nothing is impossible with God
ReplyDeletePray for him for God to deliver him from the hands of the enemy. This is the work of the devil but shame him with your prayers.
ReplyDeleteMadam your marriage is over. Full for divorce and move on with your life.
ReplyDeleteMy oga will soon leave the Government House and be with me in the flat he rented me.
ReplyDeleteMadam, sorry you hear.
My oga will soon leave the Government House and be with me in the flat he rented me.
ReplyDeleteMadam, sorry you hear.
Lol u are just foolish
DeleteGo to God in prayer. In the meantime don't nag him just make sure he takes care of his children. Get a job if you don't have one. Get busy and face your children. Trust me he will come back to his senses. He might be under some strong spiritual forces which only strong prayers can break. Make friends and make yourself happy cos you need to be strong for your children.
ReplyDeleteMy oga will soon leave the Government House and be with me in the flat he rented me.
ReplyDeleteMadam, sorry you hear.
My dear,,be strong nd look after ur kids.
ReplyDeleteAll you gat to do is pray... God never forsakes his own... pray pray pray...
ReplyDeleteMen are cruel...αи∂ some ppl said love exists?
ReplyDeletePls what is love? What does that word mean?
How can u claim u love sm1 αи∂ yet u can't even keep to lil promise u made to †Ñ’ξ person?
Αи∂ they will lie to †Ñ’ξ altar, still take an oath, for better for worse αи∂ yet they'd go out, cheat, lie αи∂ do all sort of things
if he didn't lie about loving u, u wouldn't have married him in †Ñ’ξ first place...
His kind is †Ñ’ξ reason why most gals resorts to been Lesbians
Am yet to understand d mystery behind this ....u'd care bout sm1...they wouldn't give a hoot, they'd take u for granted αи∂ keep going after who doesn't care bout them
Αи∂ now sm ppl will tell u to pray about it
Ur man cheats αи∂ u get to pray for him
Buh if u commit same crime, †Ñ’ξ man will be asked to throw u outta his house
Pls dear, if u can't keep up with his cheating attitude, call it quits, make sure u get custody of ur 4kids αи∂ leave him to rot in that hoe's pussy.....he will still get his own punishment
Buh if u can keep up with it, then start ignoring him, do †Ñ’ξ necessary things ur ought to do buh pls don't allow him to ever touch u in d name of wanting sex.
Just be very polite buh distance.....to him whenever he remembers sleepn home αи∂ not his mistress's house
God will strengthen u dear
I feel ur pains cos ish like this happened within our Family Circle where a Retarded Whore whose mum was a priestess in one of dem White garment Church choose 2 become a second wife.
ReplyDeletePainful though bt i can bet ya that ur Dude is jinxed by whoever that Bitch is.
Prayers Prayers prayers is the only true solution bt its gonna take time to manifest as per result things.
A sad tale.
Men are cruel...αи∂ some ppl said love exists?
ReplyDeletePls what is love? What does that word mean?
How can u claim u love sm1 αи∂ yet u can't even keep to lil promise u made to †Ñ’ξ person?
Αи∂ they will lie to †Ñ’ξ altar, still take an oath, for better for worse αи∂ yet they'd go out, cheat, lie αи∂ do all sort of things
if he didn't lie about loving u, u wouldn't have married him in †Ñ’ξ first place...
His kind is †Ñ’ξ reason why most gals resorts to been Lesbians
Am yet to understand d mystery behind this ....u'd care bout sm1...they wouldn't give a hoot, they'd take u for granted αи∂ keep going after who doesn't care bout them
Αи∂ now sm ppl will tell u to pray about it
Ur man cheats αи∂ u get to pray for him
Buh if u commit same crime, †Ñ’ξ man will be asked to throw u outta his house
Pls dear, if u can't keep up with his cheating attitude, call it quits, make sure u get custody of ur 4kids αи∂ leave him to rot in that hoe's pussy.....he will still get his own punishment
Buh if u can keep up with it, then start ignoring him, do †Ñ’ξ necessary things ur ought to do buh pls don't allow him to ever touch u in d name of wanting sex.
Just be very polite buh distance.....to him whenever he remembers sleepn home αи∂ not his mistress's house
God will strengthen u dear
My dear,,be strong nd look after ur kids. I feel for you my dear.
ReplyDeleteStop complaining. I hope you don't nag. Concentrate your positive energy to look good. Dress well, use good cream and perfume. Look after the kids wella, take them to hols. Once you stop giving him attention, he will notice the CHANGE in you and start coming closer to know what is going in with you. If he makes any advance, give it to him like your life depends on it (go and prep yourself with new and different styles he has never felt with you) feel you babe, that man doesnt deserve your tears. Thank you
ReplyDeleteMen are cruel...αи∂ some ppl said love exists?
ReplyDeletePls what is love? What does that word mean?
How can u claim u love sm1 αи∂ yet u can't even keep to lil promise u made to †Ñ’ξ person?
Αи∂ they will lie to †Ñ’ξ altar, still take an oath, for better for worse αи∂ yet they'd go out, cheat, lie αи∂ do all sort of things
if he didn't lie about loving u, u wouldn't have married him in †Ñ’ξ first place...
His kind is †Ñ’ξ reason why most gals resorts to been Lesbians
Am yet to understand d mystery behind this ....u'd care bout sm1...they wouldn't give a hoot, they'd take u for granted αи∂ keep going after who doesn't care bout them
Αи∂ now sm ppl will tell u to pray about it
Ur man cheats αи∂ u get to pray for him
Buh if u commit same crime, †Ñ’ξ man will be asked to throw u outta his house
Pls dear, if u can't keep up with his cheating attitude, call it quits, make sure u get custody of ur 4kids αи∂ leave him to rot in that hoe's pussy.....he will still get his own punishment
Buh if u can keep up with it, then start ignoring him, do †Ñ’ξ necessary things ur ought to do buh pls don't allow him to ever touch u in d name of wanting sex.
Just be very polite buh distance.....to him whenever he remembers sleepn home αи∂ not his mistress's house
God will strengthen u dear
My dear,,be strong nd look after ur kids. I feel for you my dear.
ReplyDeleteAv a date with ur husband away from hom n d children.Remind him of Hw u both started ;d tins u did and Hw u still love him.Tell him u no he hs been cheating and Hw u av already forgiven him.Tell him u dnt want to lose ur family.Tell him he s all u Ve got alongside d children
ReplyDeleteyou are not alone sister your situation is common but here is what you should do. ask you husband about what ur issues are, that made him go out. is it ur attitude, appearance, finances , sex, friends, family or what. have an honest open conversation which will not involve insulting one another. make sure you protect urself don't hv unprotected sex with him, go for check up. if he continues don't bother him again. pray and cry to God to restore him bck to senses. sometimes you can appreciate his little effort he put into the house. if things get worse give him space, dont kill urself bcos of someones misbehavior.
ReplyDeleteAv a date with ur husband away from hom n d children.Remind him of Hw u both started ;d tins u did and Hw u still love him.Tell him u no he hs been cheating and Hw u av already forgiven him.Tell him u dnt want to lose ur family.Tell him he s all u Ve got alongside d children ...May God help u
ReplyDeleteTake it 2 God in prayers..he ll come home 2u sOOnest..it is well with u
ReplyDeleteThe only thing he wants is for u to leave.they will always come back to their senses so all u need is to stay put and be prayerful so that nothing bad happens to him cos u ll still be the one to bear all at the end. Pls stay for the sake of ur children,as long as he is not disturbing u in any other manner,my mum did it and she's grateful to God now for it. Be strong dear
ReplyDeleteSimply. Raise 7 prayer warriors to go to ori oke erio in ekiti for seven days. The power of the strange woman will be broken.
ReplyDeleteBut once broken,you need to ask yourself, what changed. What did i do wrong?
Am nt god at advising sm1,bt I wil advise u stay in ur marriage nd kip prayin... dnt eva lose ur man to a low life sm1
ReplyDeleteWt I thought is dt ur hubby is in bondage,he may nt kno wt he is doing,u need to seek spiritual assistance asap unless,he won't even remember his children again,my prayer is dt God wil restore wt is stolen frm u.
ReplyDeleteI will advice you take it to God in prayers..
ReplyDeleteMy dear go to mfm prayer city and cry to the God of Elijah....the founder of the institution of marriage....tell Him to restore that which He has founded. And rain fire upon every strange woman that has been sent from the pit of hell to steal ur husband. Kpele love. It is well. Only God can do this one now. No amount of advice can save this ur marriage again except divine intervention. The kind of intervention that kept shadrach, mesach and abednego alive in the fiery furnace, the kind that kept Daniel alive in the lions den, the kind of intervention that parted the red sea for the children of Israel to walk thru on dry land. Go to God my dear only He can help u now.
ReplyDeleteDear ma you have to take heart i know how you feels right now,what you have to do his to take your issues to God court i mean pray and fast to God tell God you need your husband back to his normal senses i believe with God all thing are possible okay.
ReplyDeleteGod shall see you through. Linda take note!
ReplyDeletePlease my dear sister, the best thing for you to do is to be on your knees. Or maybe you can probably find what that lady have that you don't. Go through his phone and discover more things about the lady
ReplyDeleteGo to God In Seriox prayers,seek Cancelling 4rm ur pastor or a strong man of God..
ReplyDeleteThe African mentality will first of all tell me that your husband might be under some sort of spell especially due to selfish gains,if this is the case and regardless of what the case is,keep praying for him,he will come back to his senses as times goes on and we pray it's not too late.also try to search your heart truthfully,what have u been doing wrong?every companion is graciously seasoned with the gift of sexual intimacy,see if you lack doing it the way he wants in this regard,how neat are you?how did u attend to matters prior to his recent attitude?havr u shifted ur love to the kids ?this also affects men most times,right now the public is only reading your own version of the story,what if there are other version which might give us another side to know what's really wrong?first of all,your husband went to this girl himself obviously but why did he go there first?did dis attitude come up suddenly or dis was how he was before u married him and probably married him cos u wanted to marry and u tot he was going be a different man,regardless of all dis ,you need to be happy,take steps to addressing yourself first,always appear neat wenever he comes home,give him d best of u,food and otherwise ,when he is away,txt him witout insulting him and make him feel like he is meddling wit someone dat can never be who he left at home,girls dat curse deir man and insult deir men are taking advantage of the mans kindness and all bcos he shows to that girl he loves her and he won't be happy wit all of dat and wen he sees you are an irreplaceable woman ,he wil come back to his senses and never go back,just keep trying and when it's too much confront him for a divorce lol
ReplyDeleteDivorce him. Get him for what he's worth. U have already lost the fool and it ain't ur fault.
ReplyDeletemadam pack your things leave that house. your marriage is over. if you don't have anywhere else to go stay and face your children and find work to do if you don't already have, stop treating that so called husband as your god, don't give him face anymore.because the more you hold on to him, the more you suffer. when you are gone if he doesn't miss you, take it that you dodged a bullet, if he misses you and comes to his senses, fine.for now there is nothing else you can do but withdraw.
ReplyDeleteAwwww.. sorry. I think u should get ur family to talk to him. And pray well.. there's nothing prayer can't conquer.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, I seriously feel bad about this, cos I know what it means, and d. Kind of trauma u must b passing tru, Pls don't b tired, go on ur knees and pray n fast, thr's no miracle that surpasses dis, I bet u, ur husband is under a spell by that lady, Pls put on ur armour for prayers, do not b tired, keep on praying ur paryers point shld b let d lord cause confusion in thr mist n scatter dat r/ship, thankGod u said thy r fightn now, pray dat fight never ends cont. To pray n fast ur husband ll cm back. Early dis year I faced same problm but God send confusion in2 that friendship tday thy don't talk to eachother. Don't b tired Pls, continue to pray he ll definitely cm back.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, I seriously feel bad about this, cos I know what it means, and d. Kind of trauma u must b passing tru, Pls don't b tired, go on ur knees and pray n fast, thr's no miracle that surpasses dis, I bet u, ur husband is under a spell by that lady, Pls put on ur armour for prayers, do not b tired, keep on praying ur paryers point shld b let d lord cause confusion in thr mist n scatter dat r/ship, thankGod u said thy r fightn now, pray dat fight never ends cont. To pray n fast ur husband ll cm back. Early dis year I faced same problm but God send confusion in2 that friendship tday thy don't talk to eachother. Don't b tired Pls, continue to pray he ll definitely cm back.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, somethings has gone wrong in earlier in your relationship that has given birth to this, I hope he hasn't eaten vegetables
ReplyDeleteYou need to be smart and put on every smart effort to have him back. Start from looking good
Infidelity in men is quite alarming this days.
ReplyDeleteTake it to God in prayer that they should be scattered. cos his erratic behaviour isn't ordinary. as in, he might have been bewitched by his mistress.
ReplyDeletePrayers prayers prayers..
ReplyDeleteHe's under spell!
ReplyDeleteHoney, he is ur husband & father of ur kids ryt?
ReplyDeleteDon't mean 2 sound cliché, pray serzly & fight for ur hubby. B'liv me he will leave her soon & come begging u 2 4giv him.
My dear, u r currently married to ursef. Keep being d gud wife n don't stop praying for him
ReplyDeletePray to God, He will soon remember that he had a blessed home and will return back like the case of that periodical son.Dont
ReplyDeleteSharap there, you didn't tell us the ups and down you hard with him... you have pushed your husband out, now you are complaining. Believe me, your so-called marriage is finish... he has found love out side, there's nothing you can do other than to locate your fathers house.
ReplyDeleteYou are a fool..even your parent knows that..
DeleteA big fool at that.....when serious matter is being discussed.
DeleteLmfaooo
DeleteGo down on ur knees n prayer.Dere is nuffin God can't do.
ReplyDeleteEya, my dear jst pray ooo the battle is not urs but of the lord
ReplyDeleteCommit him unto God's hands, you husband has gradually slipped away. Only God can restore all that's lost
ReplyDeleteMy dear what you need to do is to take advantage of this period that their apart, pray more and arrest his heart in prayer, declare total separation in their mist using the word of God that says what God has join together let no one put asunder and my dear try to be nice to him and dress sexy althrough.
ReplyDeleteMadame, you clearly love your husband and want the marraige to work, but he doesn't love you and doesn't respect you. Have an honest discussion with him where you let him know what your prepared to do if he continues not to live up to his role as a father.Tell him you love him and want to make things work but only if he's willing to as well. Mean what you say, and be prepared to leave him if he doesn't agree to your conditions; the time for pleading and begging is over, and in fact it would only make him lose more respect for you.Time to stand up for what you deserve as his wife & mother of his 4 kids, and pick up and leave him if he doesnt see reason.btw, save those text messages somewhere, you may need the evidence later.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all start gathering as much of his wealth as you can, then when you are done, call up his mistress, arrange a date or simply tell her who you are and how many kids you have with your husband. Make sure not to cause a scene you are going there to let her know she is dealing with a married man with a wife and kids; you show her wedding pictures. Then go home pack up your kids and go far away from your home, away from your family. Make sure the money you steal is enough to wreck him or at least dent his account. And take his best car too if he has more than one. No need sticking around in that marriage, he doesn't love you anymore.
ReplyDeleteLol at depressed..its pointless being depressed. Men r recognised dogs u shuda slotted dat in in order to survive. Well u myt choose to b depressed n unhappy den subject ur 4kids to suffering and pain wen u eventually pass away out a sorrow,its very simple be practical and do only what makes u and ur kids happy. And always remember God isn't asleep!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wonder what gets into men to treat women like dogs, i wonder what goes through their mind and what right they have to treat women the way they do, a law should be made for all those unfaithful people to go jail when caught cheating.
ReplyDeleteMy dear never leave ur matrimonial home for any woman, not after all u have worked for including the humiliation u got. Most importantly pray about it...
i really think you should have a long talk with him, and if that doesn't go well, id advise you move out with your kids and have a lot of time to cool off. in due time he'll come to his senses . most importantly PRAY TO GOD. he has all the answers, be strong honey!
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteYou need to find out if he left you for something you did or something you are not doing. Some men are bad at communication. They do not like something and will prefer to not talk about it but look elsewhere for fulfillment. Its not an excuse really, but you have to find out. There's no smoke without fire.
How do you find out? Look for someone very close to him (especially friend or someone within his family) who can help you do the research. If you are able to find that out, then uproot the tree from the root, rather than try to cut the branches. Fix that issue immediately.
You must also be prayerful. There are some wild women out there who will stop at nothing to get the man they want.
Its obvious you really love your husband. Don't stop please. Do not also make the mistake of infecting the children with this situation by telling them about their father's lifestyle. Also, NEVER be tempted to leave, except if he begins to physically abuse you.
My elder sister's husband left home too like that some years back. He began to date and live with a lady from his workplace. My mom encouraged my sister to stay put and take care of the children. When the jazz the woman used on him timed out, he found his way home with loads of apologies. Now, they travel around together on holiday.
I pray that God will restore your marriage and reunite your husband with you soonest.
Stay strong and blessed sister.
Na wa oooo....men
ReplyDeleteShe's using otumokpo on him
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteLol
DeleteTake d text message to his family as proof (if u can do dat) ....and then get d hell out
ReplyDeleteDon't mind the stupid men.most of the time they realize when its too late.My dads mistress left him when he got broke after years of sucking him dry and giving us peanut.Now he is all alone at 70+
ReplyDeleteBabe...it's easy visit MFM, and pray the prayers of strange women against my marriage...no 13 Olasimbo street,Onike, Yaba. Behind Unilag back gate. The spiritual controls the physical. That strange woman would definitely live your husband for good with your marriage restored...
ReplyDeleteFirst of all start gathering as much of his wealth as you can, then when you are done, call up his mistress, arrange a date or simply tell her who you are and how many kids you have with your husband. Make sure not to cause a scene you are going there to let her know she is dealing with a married man with a wife and kids; you show her wedding pictures. Then go home pack up your kids and go far away from your home, away from your family. Make sure the money you steal is enough to wreck him or at least dent his account. And take his best car too if he has more than one. No need sticking around in that marriage, he doesn't love you anymore.
ReplyDeleteLmao ur a clown I swear
DeleteLib freak
If you can afford to take care of your kids , you have to free him, he's in love n there is nothing you can do unless the woman leaves him. If u are financially independent, ask him to leave, if he and the girl break up he will come back to you. But you still have to give him hell you found out, silent will make him lose respect for you. Hevwill do it over n over because their is no repercussion.
ReplyDeleteIf you can afford to take care of your kids , you have to free him, he's in love n there is nothing you can do unless the woman leaves him. If u are financially independent, ask him to leave, if he and the girl break up he will come back to you. But you still have to give him hell you found out, silent will make him lose respect for you. He will do it over n over because their is no repercussion.
ReplyDeleteSee a trust worthy Counselor I can recommend one @praisefowowe, he will tell you what to do, trust me. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is not a do or die affair you know everything you need to know, move on with your life, life is too short you can have it better. What other advice do you want, am sure you know it, you need to move on.
ReplyDeleteThis is an opportunity for you to prove to him beyond unreasonable doubt, that you love him with passion. Although, is painful but don't feel depress always show him love and pray to God for his intervention because he's only one to solve the problem. i will also pray for you. You will never lose your husband for another woman says da Lord
ReplyDeleteOh my! Let me just read d comments. I feel for you my fellow woman!
DeleteDis is really sad, dis is ur best opportunity my dear, pls make use of it judiciously by going 2 God in fasting n prayer, also check ur ways n c wat u v stopped doing ever since u marry. Check ur dressing, ur frnds, ur fud n stature. God bless u
DeletePrayer's alone can not b d only solution. I suggest dat she calls her family, and hubby family to intervene in d issue bcos when he married her he became part of her family members.D families can sincerely help to solve d issue@hand instead of keeping it to hersef.
DeleteTo Linda&all LIB readers...
Henceforth u r going>
From backward to forward,
From nobody to somebody,
From downgrade to upgrade,
From impossible to possible,
From repossession to possession,
From zero to hero,
From flee to free,
From rift to rich,
From stress to strength,
From scar to star,
From trial to triumph, and
From test to testimony.
May this new month of May bring blessings, joy, and testimonies 2u, and ur household. Happy New Mnth&Worker's Day.
Lmfaoo see advice, smh. Divorce d nigga man $ move on woman!
DeleteCheck ur self madam, are you the way he married you now? Talk to him abt it
ReplyDeleteIs ur mother the same your father married her? Smh
DeleteSo many of dis is found in virtually all societies dis days. U r in already, 4 kids! All I can say is hold on 2 God tak ur troubles 2 him n find a way of pacifying ur hubby so dat he can b comin @ least,neva mentn d woman dat may anger him more...in fact am speech only can b sufficient 4 u
ReplyDeleteThis must hurt, I think its time to confront him about the fact that you know the truth; Also, you should go speak to his family and see what they say. At the end of he day you already have 4 kids, if he is not asking you to leave or asking for a divorce, this may sound bad but I think you should just concentrate on your kids and leave him alone to run around, he'll come back to his senses some day trust me, if you guys had no kids I'll be the first to tell you to dump his ass but I don't think its the right decision right now.
ReplyDeleteShow your strength! I don't know enough about you from your write up, but do you work or are you a stay at home mum?
ReplyDeleteYou need to channel your energy and emotion at something. Anything other than him. If you have a business or you work, now is the time to take it to the next level. If you are a stay at home mum, now is the time to find something worthwhile to occupy more of your time
Most men respond to strength, especially the cheating ones, and when I say show your strength, i mean exactly that, show that you can survive without him or that you don’t need him to keep going. This doesn’t mean fighting or snubbing him or any such thing, no, get yourself to a place where he no longer can get to you or make you sad, or at least, make yourself appear so when he is there. Never ever let him see you’re vulnerable. Just act like everything is normal, like he is your brother, no frowning or crying or begging, no shouting at him. Just let him be.
He expects you to nag and cry and ask him why and stuff, DO NOT!
Just a simple welcome when he is home will suffice. Are you hungry to which the answer is most likely no will also do. Concentrate on your kids when he is home. Learnt to read them stories and enjoy their company. If he decides to talk and starts shouting or threatening, never reply, listen and keep quite
LET HIM BE! He will reboot and come back. The fact that you are ‘weak’ is fuel to his lust. Stop feeding it. Once you show your strength, he will most likely, eventually wonder what he wants.
And if all this fail, by the time he is finally gone, you will be ready to start again, you would have gotten yourself ready to keep going and you will go places.
I see from your write up you still love him, this is hoping that you get him back…Happy May Day
Am very sure u don't know how to fvck ur husband well..Cos most gals are beautiful but cant perform or withstand long sex..D mistress is doing stuff u dont..so move on
ReplyDeleteLeave him.
ReplyDeleteWhat you are leaving is not a life, it's hell speak to a good lawyer, screen shot or snap pics of the message get as much info as you can
But you must leave. Imagine growing old with this burden, it will kill you. Leave him now
Wish you the very best.
pls dear don't torture yourself. i know it hurts but you need to move on with ur life coz he has moved on. focus on ur children and I hope you've a job? if you do my dear free ur spirit take live one day at a time and you'll see how things fall in place for you. if he wants a divorce give it to him, free yourself and focus on ur children, who knows maybe you'll get a better man who will appreciate you. Be cheerful no man is worth killing yourself for, besides his there enjoying himself. love and pamper yourself dear life's too short. SWWET ANONYMOUS.
ReplyDeletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Sorry ok....
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
its simple love give him a taste of his own medicine! prtend your dating someone else who is more succesful and better looking! if that doesnt work it means he never loved you
ReplyDeleteThis is why is good for women to be independent b4 going into any marriage. The best thing u can do is to ignore him and make ur children the centre of ur world. I will not advise u to pack out of ur matrimonial home but make it a home for urself and ur kids. Keep urself busy make friends including guys. Discuss open relationship with ur husband, yes he is into it already but make it official so that he will also know that u are also interested in some guys even tho u are not or u can also try to live ur life as if he doesn't exist bcs u hav only one life n ur kids needs u.
ReplyDeleteReally
DeleteNa wa ooo....this z obviously not #Ordinary...d truth z u hv 2 be vewy #Prayerful..u can meet wv ur pastor,so that he can also try & assist u in prayers...i pray God intervenes in ur marital issue...#TakeCare
ReplyDeleteI always say there is a reason for cheating, you cant keep doing the same thing, youve been married for years and he's probably bored of the same thing over and over again, no be for getting married hin end,check yourself, you see there are things these ladies outside are doing that you can do for your husband but you would not. I cant justify his cheating, but in as much as we are christians or muslims we are humans and there is so much this body can take at the end of the day. He wont be cheating if he got what he was getting from his mistress from you.So try and remember what he so much wanted from you before he started cheating and give him, some men its food, some its crazy sex with head that makes most nigerian men cheat, some its peace at home, but overall treat him like a boyfriend and not a husband thats a good start.
ReplyDeleteEver heard of 'communication'? If the so called husband felt she was doing something wrong...did he communicate?did he let her know?We are so messed up that we tend to make up excuses for 'cheating husbands or boyfriends'- oh he's a guy,he's human...blaa blaa blaa...isn't she human too?Or does he think if she wanted to cheat she wouldn't find someone to cheat with?like Chimamanda said we have set men as the standard so somehow it is okay for him to mess up n go scot free but if it's a woman- God Forbid! did she go to another man when he started misbehaving?Why can't he 'treat her like a girlfriend'?...Anyway I think she should just dedicate her time to taking care of her kids n live her life...abeg no send am...let's just hope he realises it before its too late
DeleteHmmmm......may God not have mercy on that man ijn...
ReplyDeleteMay be the New Woman satisfy Him dan U do, plsssss learn How to keep ur home WOMAN.
ReplyDeleteThis is really touching! All I can say is go down on ur kneels and pray, search where u are nt up and doing make amends and leave all to God. He will make u happy.
ReplyDeleteI advise you go to God on your knees...keep praying for ur husband.God is ever faithful....your husband will come back to you in Jesus' name.
ReplyDeleteMadam looks like things have gone out of hand, this is why i always preach that women should make their own money and take good care of themselves. This is coming from you and from your story you have no fault which i don't believe, you must have also done something to your DH, search yourself. If all you said is true and his love for her is natural then madam you either move on or start serious prayers. SORRY MADAM..This side bitches are not smiling at all o. Did you say he has even stopped making love to you???…That is very serious.
ReplyDeleteLeave the man alone before it gets worse, cases like this can aggravate to violence towards you later, if u are meant to be he will come back, depending on how financially strong u are, u can rent a place with ur kids but if u are not pretend not to care about him anymore and if possible date other people but if can't date pray that he will see the error of his ways.
ReplyDeleteMy dear go down on your knees, you have been doing that? Ok, keep doing that. Look for a living word Church around and start attending, you are in one already? Ok, look for a Dominion city Church around you and if you are in Abuja come to the one in Gwarinpa, and your life will never be the same, not just your marriage I mean your whole life will never ever be the same. To every adversity Satan brings our way, God turns into a testimony, if only we commit to him and do it his way.and this is the time to love and show your husband more love than ever, not matter how stupid his reactions makes you feel or look. Love like a child now. Read 1 corinthians 13 and pratice what you see there and one day he will come home crying on your lap like a child to his mother. May God give the peace you need to pass through this In Jesus name Amen!
ReplyDeleteI advise you go to God on your knees...keep praying for ur husband.God is ever faithful....your husband will come back to you in Jesus' name.
ReplyDeleteThat is heartless, talk to God. And be strong atleast 4 ur children.
ReplyDeletemadam, how was the sex between you and your husband before he changed? you need to check that out. Secondly, you need to talk to God more.
ReplyDeleteReally hard one, prayer!!!
ReplyDelete*Sigh*....this man has destroyed your self esteem i don't know if you have any savings or job i suggest u start to seriously sort out your finances while you try to work through this mess..May i ask where are your family members and his family members maybe you can get them involved or his very close friends can intervene..... bt overall before giving up on your marriage seek the face of God seriously He has at the blueprint for the restoration of your home and your life..Cheer up this is not new to God.
ReplyDeleteIt breaks my heart to read things like this, I havevgone through same infact in my case they had a son together. My advice is WAIT, don't fight don't worry don't cry. Just be still, let him know that you know and continue to pray for yourself and your children. He will come back to you. Mine is back home with me right now and am even friend with the Lady she has married another man.
ReplyDeletelet him go
ReplyDeleteBrace up dear . U ve actually lost him. That's not the end of the world hun? Get yourself up, seek a good job, look good and if possible discuss with him on how to cater for the kids. He's not some sort of god that you should die on his matter. Pls stay alive for yourself and kids not for any man.
ReplyDeleteGo on your kneels and pray for your husband back....he will come back to you...God gave him to u, ask God to bring him back...and do not quarrel with him anymore.
ReplyDeleteMy dear just be patient and pray. .pray...he will come back and beg u by the time he's eyes will clear..trust me he will...I've been there
ReplyDeleteJust pray to God. if you've been doin that, then keep it up, dnt stop. Your husband might not even be doin it wit clear eyes, it's only prayers that can change things cos If you decide to leave the marriage, you'd only be creating more space for the other woman.
ReplyDeleteAlso you can try having a dialogue wit him not about his affaire but about the relationship between u 2, what went wrong, why he no longer has time for/touch you.
If you have you wedding video, play it wen he's around. That might remind him why he loved you, how good things used to be and the vows he took.
Pray more. Remind God of his promises eg in;
1)John 14:14 which says that 'whatever we ask in His name, he will do it' ;
2) Mathew 7:7 says we should ask and we shall be given, we shld seek and we shall find and we shld knock and the door wld be open for us.
3) Jeremiah 32:27 says I'm the Lord of all flesh, IS THERE ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR ME? Remind him he said there's nothing too hard for him.
I'm not so much of a church goer but I knw one thing for sure 'God is a doer of his words', He never fails. He will answer you.
Sister, men want what they cannot have, you have given your husband the impression that you will always be by his side no matter how he treats you. To him, you have now become rgr backup plan. My advise to you is to pack your children and leave the house, after a while, your man will come back to his senses, take the bull by the horn, take control of your relationship, its either her, or you.
ReplyDeleteGo on ur knees and tell God to change the situation. that is the only solution. and u will see what will happen
ReplyDeleteBe patient and prayerful, there is nothing impossible for God, God can still change him but Mind u, if he is destined to marry 2 wives, there is nothing anybody can do about it, that is what most of the. ladies don't get, truth. Must b told, no matter what.
ReplyDeleteWalk away! He has no respect for you, but also let the lady know he is married to you
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I don't know why women do this. When you make yourself too vulnerable to a man, he will surely take you for granted. Allow them to be the vulnerable ones and that's probably what the other lady has done. Now to change this situation, you need to act like you're moving on...just don't be as concerned about him.... when you fight, don't beg. Stop begging him. It's not helping, you're making yourself seem helpless. Do your own thing...when you know he's going to be around, go out somewhere. Make yourself less accessible. He knows that when that other lady rejects him, you'll be waiting. You need to change that assumption. If you're overweight, try and lose some weight, dress up nicely, wear makeup but don't act like its him you're doing it for, you're doing it for yourself, you want to be attractive. This is a trick I use- when he's around, be on your phone a lot...laugh if you must. Let his mind wonder. You're obviously not happy but my dear, you need to act like you are. The part about him not having sex with you is very troubling...what man won't want to have sex? It just shows that he's very committed to the woman. i believe the only way you can get your man back is if you start slipping away. Whether it'll work depends on how much this woman has him under her control. Dont even entertain his fights, when he starts insulting you, walk away. DO NOT BEG. You're not a child, you're a woman, a mother and should be treated as such. He even sounds very irresponsible, leaving his children for months. Now if you act like you don't care and you can see that he's slowly coming back to you, send a text to the woman that she should know that he's married with kids. She'll probably kick him out and when he realises he has a wife that's pulling away too(no one wants him), he will come begging...atleast for the sake of his kids. Of course, this all depends on if he loved you at the start and just needs to be reminded of why he shouldn't lose you. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteGod bless u with this write up.I wish all woman can walk on them sef then no man will take them for granted
DeletePray to God to help win your husband back.
ReplyDeleteMadam,are u fat?Men dis days dont love fat women.
ReplyDeleteNa wa !
ReplyDeleteCNT just alter a tin !
Prayer is the key,only God can help u.*slimmie*
ReplyDeletePrayers that's what u need, I bet you things will change its well
ReplyDeletemy dear,first of all,let me ask a question. did ur husband pay for ur bride price and marry u the way a woman is supposed to be married according to tradition?. If yes,then try to call him and ask him were u have gone wrong and wat the matter is. if it does nt work,be very prayerful don't be surprised DAT bitch is using juju . ask God to direct u and show u how u will get ur husband back.
ReplyDeleteBe prayerful
ReplyDeleteFocus on taking care of yourself and the children. He rented another apartment? Then use the time you have to work on being able to cater for yourself and your children. Do not beg him when you have clearly done nothing wrong. Men hate that. Do not disrespect him but do not disrespect yourself either. I'd be praying for you. You can do this. Also go to church to pray with your kids- every Sunday. If he does not want to come with you- that's fine. Love him but live like a single mom in your married home- Trust me- he'd see the woman he first fell in love with.
ReplyDeleteJust keep praying and believing in God to bring ur husband back to u
ReplyDeleteI feel for you,but most times we are our own enemies. At other times, we find ourselves in situations we can't control. Most women lose it the moment they start having kids. They turn themselves to "mama" not noticing the latent irritation on their men's faces. It takes a miracle for a woman to keep her man to herself. Forget the lies some cheap men tell you. Again, it's not always the woman's fault. Presently,I'm at a loss myself. I get irritated after dating a woman for a while. The same things that attracted me to her,begin to irritate me. It's something I can't explain. Madam,stop being a 'mama' if you've been one, stop begging him when he's at fault. Develop yourself. You sound like someone with inferiority complex. Make sure you're financially independent if you aren't. Again,be honest with yourself, do you think your husband "stooped" low to marry you? If 'yes', you're in big SHIT! It means your sorrows will continue.Pardon my being blunt. That's the koko! An older friend of mine told me he regretted marrying his wife. He said she was too local and wondered why he made that "mistake". They haven't fucked for 3yrs according to him. He purposely kept her in a different town. Madam I wish you well. For the single girls out there,never ever marry a man you know deep down inside you is not your "level". You all know what I mean,cos one of you would definitely regret the marriage someday irrespective of how nice or lovely your spouse is. E go tire you one day.
ReplyDeleteIf u re stil interested den I think itz time 2 get on your knees n start praying. Get closer to ur maker... to ur husband stop making him feel ur life revolves round him... take care of ur children n make urself happy. hang out with friends dress sexier, wen ever he is home finish him with love n stop complaining. D Lord help u.
ReplyDeleteSorry about that sis! But number one copy the number from his fone number after that if he keep up a fight with chill o! Wait until it late at night den start your own buy make sure you dial her number and hide your number she will be listening to your conversation make sure you make her miserable well well! Call her frustrate her life and don't let your husband know that u know he has a mistress outside don't give a clue atall then later you deal with your husband! In fact give your female friend which ur husband font know her number they should tell she is just a fool that he his fooling her like he as fooled them too! Acted with sense!....... and if your are his problem maybe you ave a attitude which he does not like try and make amendment change! And pray to God too! Look good for him and make him always wanting to have have you all to himself even you don born 10 children.......... Good luck
ReplyDeletePray,pray,pray. As long as you are his legal,wife you have authority to take charge of the situation. Life is spiritual.speak to the situation and not about the situation. Continue to respect your husband and love him. Hard as it may be,wisdom is profitable to direct. Handle it on your knees and watch God sort out the rest. All the best.
ReplyDeleteIsn't this marriage in name only if you have no sex, practically live alone, get no affection from your husband? It's time to decide whether you stay as a side chick in your own marriage or move on and give yourself peace.
ReplyDeleteMy dear you need to pray ooo
ReplyDelete#LIB OBI
My dear na juju ooo
ReplyDeletePersonally, I have no experience whatsoever with marriage, still a young lady, but I believe with men, one has to take very careful steps, especially when it comes to extra marital affairs, firstly you should work on yourself, he seems really interested by this new lady, so he most probably got bored of you, which is not your fault entirely, Start working out, you mentioned you have 4 kids, so they might have taken a toll on your body, Exercise more and change your diet, take care of yourself, dress nice and most importantly speak to your God, talk to him and tell him your worries, he is an Amazing God and he always listens. right now focus on yourself and your work, better yourself in terms of your physical fitness, your source of income and your spirituality with God, and also try to be the best mother you can be, And then watch him come back to beg like the dog he is.
ReplyDeleteFind a better person
ReplyDeletePray to God about it..embrace ursef..be strong...happy and take care of ur children.its not dat easy buh u hv to try.dont leave ur home for any1 dats for ursef nd ur children.ignore him sef .dress good stay pretty and leave everything into God's hand.
ReplyDeletePls just pray n watch God do the unexpected in ur home . Those evil ex always ve a strong hold on them (husbands) but God will sure bring ur husband to u n ur lovely children.
ReplyDeleteNa wah
ReplyDeleteMay God c us thru....Linda observe
ReplyDeletePray to God
ReplyDeleteMy dear don't mind those asking u to leave, ur children will be d once to suffer , kneel & pray he will come back to u when he must have come back to his senses. Your children should be ur priority now also know that had times doesn't last but hard people do. God be with u.
ReplyDeleteMy dear focus on ur.kids, i kno of a guy and a man doing this right now and d mistress is preg... God help us....
ReplyDeleteLinda abeg - email this to the LIB reader personally. Don't let my comment go in vain biko :-)
ReplyDeleteMy dear sister - since it is sex that is keeping him there, you have to give him some mind blowing sex that will keep him home with you.
If you know you are not that good in bed (be honest - do you just do missionary?), watch some porn to widen your knowledge of sex positions...doggy, cow girl etc.
Then take your 4 kids to spend the night with grandma or grandpa or at a sleepover or wherever..
Cook the best meal that you have not yet cooked for him in his entire life...make him enjoy that food girl.
Then make sure you buy some new sexy underwear...it has to be SEXY (google for ideas on what to wear, go on Ann Summers website for ideas too). Then give him some mind blowing sex!!!! Everything you learnt from watching porn..use it on your man...ride him like a horse - exhaust him and love him with sex. Be that freak in the bedroom!!!
If he doesn't come back to you - then know that the other woman may have used Jazz (if such power does exist)...if he does stay at home, continue to learn new sexy things as regularly as possible...dress up...make your body right.
Dont be a nag and make sure that you provide him a home that he will be rushing to come to and you will see him put in some effort.
Good luck my sister xxx
Am sorry bout your plight and I hope u read dis. My dear, life is REALM vs REALM. See you better calm down and understand the logic. The other woman has raised an ALTAR against u and ur household and controls you from the 3rd Realm n u are here crying. Wia z ya own altar. Are you fighting wit bare hands wen the other woman has sent Ghost 4rm her sacrifice to work for her? Wot can u give to God to have ya own ghost fighting for you. Wia she went or the evil spell working on ur husband was achieved because she made sacrifice to move her intention. She didn't go der wit bare hands, she had to drop somtin in exchange for your husband. You wot can u drop for God to get ya husband back? Life is altar vs altar. D lower altar bows. The occults understands d game very well dats y dey always in 3rd Realm because of the kind of sacrifice dey make thereby sending out ghosts to achieve wot they want . It's only in churches dat we deceive our self n pray n go home witout giving God anytin and u expect Magic? Dats a big lie. Simple questions.... wen u join an occult, you make huge sacrifice isn't it? Wen u go see a native doctor, you drop either chicken or goat or cow isn't it? Then u come to the house if God u come empty handed n expect magic. It's a big lie. Read your bible on prophet who made sacrifice to God n got immediate result. Abraham, David n host of dem. So keep crying ok while the other woman keeps raising altar against u and ur household. U beta wake up and seek a true prophet of God n start raising ur own to counterfeit the ghost dat is controlling your husband. Like I said life is altar vs altar, realm vs realm. Simple logic. Wen you pray u r only a 1st realmer. No voice yet. Wen u fast u enter d 2nd realm still no voice. Wen u make sacrifice, u enter the 3rd Realm, u have a VOICE der too. Remember life is bin controlled by 3rd Realm. Dats y if dey wanna ki someone in d occult Kingdom, dey first summon ya spirit in the 3rd Realm . B4 d prsn eventually dies 4rm one sickness or road accident or somtin. In a nutshell my dear, life is bin controlled by d 3rd Realm n u don't have a voice in d 3rd Realm.
ReplyDeleteOnly God can help you, u need to hold on to him. Prayers and fasting, ur husband needs tobe delivered from that spirit of jazebeel
ReplyDeletePRAY
ReplyDeleteFunny how we present ourselves as angels in our own stories, this story lacks vital details, u can't tell me u got all this details by picking up his phone one day, pls admin vet stories before posting.
ReplyDeleteBeen in a situation like this but God helped me. To the Glory of God, he's back home with me now and she's history. First and foremost, I'll advice you to get closer to God. Pray, dedicating your husband to God(body, spirit, soul) and ask God to use him and your family for His Glory. Secondly, get busy. Channel your energy to something productive so dat u will hardly av time think abt what he's putting you through. Then talk to someone he respects so much, could be his parents or pastor so they can help call him to order. Take care of your kids, look good always and make yourself happy. No man is worth your tears. If you feel like crying, feel free to cry to God. He is still in d business of answering prayers. May God restore ur home like he did to mine. God bless!
ReplyDeleteMadame I counted the responses for you.roughly 65 advised Prayer as your best option; 27 said Stay; 25 said Leave him; and 10 advised talking it out with him/family intervention. So my dear, start praying seriously, but be equally ready to stay or leave him, but Keep the communication lines open, & consider involving family to help. Thank me later! #lindaihailOo
ReplyDeleteMove on, better still let him know all the things he is doing that you can't bear it
ReplyDeletereading from the comments i see why more and more nigerian men treat their wives so badly.... how can you ask her to pray for him... the almighty God himself plus the bible supports divorce in-case of infidelity...
ReplyDeleteshe has the right to be happy, and in this case only divorce can give her happiness... that man clearly doesnt deserve her.