Simple. I'm unmarried. I live alone. I have a job that pays my rent. I have had a healthy rel with a guy that has very recently asked me 2 mari him. My point? If you can afford to, pls move out of your parents' house, live by yourself and learn a new aspect of yourself. To the people linking decency to living @ home, please give yourselves a break and be real...these days, I'm soooooo busy, I couldn't even see more than one guy if I wanted to
I think when she is man enough to stay on her own..supported by her parent(s). There is actually no debate about this..its about family understanding.. John 14:27. BishopDammy#
When she feels she can have sex at home without anyone questioning her. Since to some of them ability to fornicate whenever they feel horny is independence.
But true true body dey itch babes nowadays to quick open their own shop, small time dem go dey lie to themselves , they try to psyc themselves say dem no dey sell market, say na freedom dem need. Abeg na who dem dey fool na... Themselves for sure...
But true true body dey itch babes nowadays to quick open their own shop, small time dem go dey lie to themselves , they try to psyc themselves say dem no dey sell market, say na freedom dem need. Abeg na who dem dey fool na... Themselves for sure...
On a serious note,Bonario you must not comment always because you end up writing rubbish that doesn't appeal to the prudent,I'm beginning to think you ain't as bright as you try to portray.
If you know you wan marry better man, and quickly, no get apartment o.....the man go just come dey do osho free and later dump you. Soldier go, soldier come. Men would respect you, if they marry you from your parents home. Linda, you dey hear?
Olodo!!! I respect a woman because she's decent not because she lives with her parents or anyone else for that matter, not one that needs a leash tied around her neck because she lacks self control.
Whether we like to hear it or not women are vulnerable to mens deception and that is not about to change. A young lady should be under the guide of a parent or a guardian until she gets married except for cases where shes not within the shores of any guardian. We wont shy away from what is the right thing all in the name of civilization or education , even though we know that lots of ladies crave for freedom to do whatever they want and not thinking through about the consequences of their action. Like they say, theres a generation thats intelligent in their own eyes but demonstrate a high level of foolishness. # street wise#
Wilheminna, knowledge is not equal to wisdom and exposure is not the same as wisdom. Wisdom is profitable to direct, it can deliver a whole city into your hands...So get wisdom.
This is subject to geographical location ...as per Nigerian setting, girls are ok to leave their parent's house upon completion of higher education...For yonder like UK they don't even need their parent's approval to leave without looking back at 18 years. ..lol...#SeunLondon
Depends on her age. I think above 30 is okay to move out. Our archaic Naija culture kinda labels such women as wild but the truth is.......independence is so important especially for women. Mother In Law From Hell- click my name to read more
The Nigerian culture expects a lady to stay with her parents/guardian till she gets married. It's a form of check & balance for her life. Whoever wants to marry her will know that she will have family values she cherishes & therefore will operate within boundaries.
The conclusion must come from men.. Nigerian men are always intimidated by independent ladies... They get scared knowing a woman works hard for her things and don't crawl begging for money.. When I have MY money, I will get me MY OWN house... Call me a runs or fly girl, it won't take anything from me.
Ur head dey there my dear..if I make my own money I will ride my own super car,a real man dat has d guts will still push on to get me #some dumb men feel threatened around a successful lady much#
If u both don't get "good" men to marry you by 35, youl start crying and lamenting and then be ready to do away with your house and so called super car. Move out if you feel you have to, but keep as low as profile as you can, when you are married, you can still drive your super car and live in that mansion, so you don't end up with play boys who will come to you just of the money they can see you have, treat you like trash afterwards or make your life a living he'll after marriage.
Hahahaha. Lol.. Some dumb men feel threatened around successful lady much... While some intelligent men will wipe ur ass and eat ur money all for free.
That was a wonderful argument but a runs girl will be a runs girl even in her father's house. #gbam. If a lady hav a "good an responsible job" to take care of her needs. She should move out
A lady can move out of her parents house if she feels she wants to live alone amd have maximum privacy. Most parents wil say thier daughters who have graduated from the University and served NYSC shouldn't return home. She should start her life from there. Some mothers are soooooo terrible that they make life a living hell for their kids who are of marriageable ages but not yet married. Even your own family members will mock you.
So, left to me, i feels a lady who no longer feels accepted in her parents home, but can very well afford to take good care of herself should move to a self contain or pitch with a a friend. When she goes visiting, her family members will respect her again
Being "open minded" is what is going to destroy us in this country shaaaaa. Trying to form Kim K and Lindsey Lohan. There are still some things that should be preserved and respected biko. It's "living alone" that causes our women to go and carry belle for all these ne'er-do-wells and end up being tagged "baby mama's"! Imagine! I never thought I'd see the day Naija women become baby mama's. Chai. Biko nu, if it's not a job of marriage, stay in your father's house. Well, except you become an old lady (may that not be our portions IJN, Amen). Copy better thing from ndi ocha, unu asi mba. It's only bad things like igba oto, imu amu, ilasha otu, ise gear, izu original, dgz. Sigh. Jisieni ike.
Whenever there Is a topic on women on this blog u see all sorts of dumb comments. Don't women get pregnant in their fathers houses? Is it today Nigerian ls started having kids outside wedlock? If not for internet and tech we would have been hearing about such from day one. In the whole of America is it only Kim k and Lindsay Lohan u can use as examples what about Mary Mary and Michelle Williams, I am sure they moved out of their parents house when they could.
I dnt personally tink a lady shuld move bck to her parents ouse aftr she is done wit youth service ....cos der wil be some restrictions aftr wrk u v to go bk home u wont v tym to keep frnds or even personal tym 4 urslf ....most of d tym u cant realli keep a r/ship cos ur parents still wont giv u dt freedom ....so i tink aftr service look 4 a good job nd live a responsible life wen d tym comes u tk ur man to ur parents nd introduce him to dem shikena...u can also travel home nd visit dem
I listened to it too and was quite surprised at the things I heard. Take me for example, I'm an orphan. Did the whole uni/Nysc thingy all alone. Got a great job in lagos and moved here abt 5-6yrs ago. I get judged all the time for being a "single lady who lives alone". My relatives in lag are all married with families, I can't be a burden. It's easy to judge a lady without knowing her struggle. I can go on forever.
Well I believe once a girl is making her own money and feels she can take good care of herself alone she can move out of d houz.......................#KingOfKings #6ixGod
I actually agree with the idea of a young lady staying with her parents till marriage but if and when marriage doesn't come by age 38/40 then she has to pack up and leave. Contract is over!
There isn't any right time! It is different from a guy! When you as a guy stay at your folks past a certain age, the society starts to look at you in contempt, but women don't get to suffer that! I think they are immune to it. But I don't think there is anything wrong with a woman living alone sha, it's her choice not anybody's and it shouldn't make them good or bad and it doesn't make them runs girls if they live alone.
This is a real problem 2day oooo!!! Ex. If a girl stays alone n a guy comes 2 visit, u r sleeping with him!!! In fact, I am a victim of this ridiculous situation! D woman went on 2 say about another girl "Hmmmm..... I pity some pple. They will get HIV b4 they leave this place o!" All because some guys from her group come around 2 visit her!!! It's pathetic and rather sad!!! And this same woman, in her late 30s, has a particular guy that comes over 2 see her @ odd tyms of d nyt yet she claims a 'familial rltship'. Hmmm..... I digress.
We are, seriously, confined by the walls we build around ourselves and this has eaten deep to the core of the Nigerian system!!! Which guy go get liver come toast u 4 ur papa house?? Even if he does, u r still bound n restricted 2 an extent...and this kinda affects d chemistry and spontaneity of d rltship! I don't support PMS (pre-marital sex) o! But then there r even better things than sex in a rltship such as intimacy, sharing etc and these things won't easily b done in d daddy's house!!!!
Call me old fashioned but my baby stays with me until she get's married. If she has to move because of school that is different, even then she has to stay in boarding school.
A woman staying in boarding school? At what age? She'll probably be deflowered in secondary school, have all the freedom she needs in university. Probably be as good in bed as a porn star. Once she's an adult, the training you gave her should kick in. If not, she'll learn her own lessons
When she is mature enough to be independent, not jumping to live with a guy o. She should be old enough (not by age) to take n handle anything life throws at her (good or bad).
mistcheww, be making case out of nothing.All these OAP bringing up topics to steer up bullshit controversy.Anyways you Gbemi or any other person for that matter have no right to dispute, disparage or vilify anybody or their opinion.You forget to take cognizance of the fact that opinions are based on perspective and perspective itself subject to life'*s experiences.
My older cousin still lives with her parents and shes one of the managers in Exon mobile and earns so much money.She didn't move out because her have noticed a trend that any female family member that moves out of her fathers' house before getting married, don't get married till their late forties,is that a heinous thing to suggest or do?
Please if you want female liberation look to other avenues, some people have household principle and values that they would like to uphold. Is the listeners I even blame calling in or using social media to air their opinions only to be viewed as stupid or ignorant.
Read and understand. She didn't say it was wrong for a woman to live with her parents till she gets married, but that there is nothing wrong with a woman moving out of her parents house even if she's not married or constrained by the distance to her job/school. Learn to understand before jumping to a conclusion.
...Its not all ladies that live alone that's a runs girl ...C'mon but truth is i kinda second that part which states ....that if it's not for marrital issue or job reason/school stuff no lady should live alone
coming back to read comments on this topic, linda thank you for posting this cos thats my situation right now, im 27 and still reside wiv my mum, some of my friends think its unhealthy and want me to get an apartment on my own, please libers whats your take on this? cos i believe no woman should leave their parents unless they are going to their husbands house.
It depends, if she's a *fuck mate* please oh! move out from you father's house, buh if she's a wife type, I wld be happy to meet my inlaws. O well, the first time I went to my wife's house, it was her parents crib. Single ladies should remain @ der parents till marriage, it shows proper upbringing n family values its a + for a wife to be!
Different strokes for different folks...there is really nothing wrong in a lady living all by herself. It doesn't mean she is irresponsible or wants to prove that she can be independent of her parents because no matter how rich or matured we think we are, we would always need our parents guidance. The fact is that when a lady comes of age and she feels that she needs her privacy not because she wants to be wayward or gallivanting around. Most importantly some people take bold steps to issues of life when they leave their comfort zone.
I listened to this programme, and must say I was very shocked and disappointed at the majority responses, I didn't realise we still have so much educated illiterates with very myopic reasoning. I guess women still don't have freedom in this part of the world, cos yes, it starts like dis. Tufiakwa!
Funny thing my mum thinks the same way too according to her no responsible girl should stay outside her father's house except for marriage. Sadly I don't share the same view and have every intention of staying on my own immediately after school in a few months. pretieviky@gmail.com
hmm, as nigerians;education,job or marriage would determine dat oh but mehn, she can move as long as she is old enof nd fit to take care of herself..dats if she has somtin doin...yea dats my say.
some peeps are so backward. i moved out then cis i needed my own space. my dad wadnt happy but when he saw i was adamant, let me go. ironically due to what i knew pple wud think, i was strict on myself and esp. male visitors. peeps said i wudnt marry - lol. 4 yrs after i left home i git married( its 17 yrs now and counting). its not to say i lived a nun or hermits life. if i had to i'd do it all over again
Linda biko,am nt a robot,post my comments biko o nne, well dat idea is so shity,ple still need to reason bf dey talk, u can move if u need space,is as simple as dat, dnt read too many meanings into it, xoxo...lillyspring1
Me I'm so ready to move out of my parents house cos there's no respect. Despite the fact that the family depends on me for 60% of its needs. But the truth is my salary can't handle it. I've literally slipped into depression and I look wrinkled. My family depends on me yet no single respect. I can't go out. They won't even cook for me. I will come back and cook and they'll eat. Every day I hide to get drunk and forget. Men I'm done
If u like talk from now until kingdom come. A responsible woman will never move out of her parents house unless its marriage related especially when her folks own a home then pls tell me where is she going to if she isn't irresponsible??? A friend of mines babe lived with him for almost 2 years n they eventually did not get marriednbi always used to wonder where fr folks were n weren't they bothered. This gbemi babe na dead na. She's too ugly n obviously needs a man in her life.
Not every woman that lives alone is into runz but obviously majority of them are. The life of a woman is a charade filled with lies u can hardly find a truthful woman n I say this with so much confidence simply because there is almost nothing real bout females.
It's not about being archaic, it's about sending the right message of upbringing. I have a lot of married sisters and cousins straight from my father's house. I am married too and I am a man. The point I'm going to make here is from a marriage point of view so if that's not important to you then keep arguing. Let's be honest, for a guy, moving out shows he's ready to be an independent man. For a woman, the question is, apart from distance to work and school, what does she need the independence for? Her ability to stay with her parents sends the message that she respects homeliness and authority rather than independence. Many single girls arguing against this and moving to their own apartments don't realize that even though they have the freedom to now groove as they wish and get visited as they wish, this is why they are still single at old age because they become too available to all sorts. In all honesty, there is no good thing a single girl needs in her own apartment that she can't put in her room in her father's house, except she doesn't want her father to see it in which case her "waka" is already questionable. There are more girls getting married from parents home than from their own apartments. Remember it's not for plenty talk and arguement it's about the message you send. Be wise.
... that's why after marrying the so called home _girl, you end up running to the home of ur so -called street girl in search of comfort and succour cos mummy 's girl can't handle ur emotional needs
Hiqhes should be 30years..i mean what is a responsible girl doing in her fathers house @ this age?? she should be married by this time because if our mums had stayed in their father's house too, we wudnt have been qiven birth to. This is what is obtainable in our culture, in Nigeria and in africa as a whole.
It all depends on the situation at hand ... if u have parents live with them ... its not all girls that lives alone that are runs girls ... been lliving alone since I lost my sweet mother at age 18 . Some times I find it very difficult to tell people that I stay alone ... it hurts so bad ... pls dont tag any girl dat live alone as a prostitute until u hear their story ... thanks to Jesus am graduating next year nd hopefully God will provide me with a Good Job and a wonderful husband that will ... it is well!
Truly it may mean no harm if a lady stays alone,. But if u re not married and still have de privilege of putting up wt ur parents,. Pls do, it saves u a lot of troubles,. Linda, y re u still living wt ur parents? Oya answer?.lol!..#teamchris
We are in d 21st century for crying out loud. every one is looking for green pastures. I have a job very far away from home. Am staying alone n yes, I can remember doing runs or wayward cos am alone. it all boils down to who u are n ur upbringing. Goodmorning all
The world is changing fast. Imagine staying with your parents' in adulthood? Soon u ll start acting like Old pple. Well, sm girls re also better off with der parents as if it will stop d promiscuous ones! Infact, I don't even knw sef.
Dear Linda. I'm not an illiterate, but I'm also of the opinion that a woman shouldn't move out of her parents' house before she gets married and I'll tell you why.
First, I'm a christian and I will speak from that standpoint. When a lady moves out of the house, its a sign of independence (which is good) but then, she becomes susceptible to a lot of things. As a christian who wants to wait for marriage to have sex, you become more vulnerable and falling could be very easy. I'm not naive so i know she can find many ways to have live in sin right under her father's nose if she pleases but moving out just eases the whole process.
If she truely wants independence, she can live in her parents' bq or that of a family friend. that way, she's independent, has her own pot of stew/soup, manages her own time, and is also accountable to the people she lives with.
I'm single and i don't live with my parents but i live in my family friend's bq with my sister. They understand that we work and so no body quibles about how late we get home or how often we go out. We cook our own food, are responsible for our bills, have our own generator, etc. Our friends can come over but we also know that we cant have boys visiting us. Its just the way it is.
Plus there's also the society to think about. Let's not deceive ourselves, we live in Nigeria and no matter how much education we acquire or how much of the western culture we imbibe, we won't completely erase our culture, practices and stereotypes. Some "educated" men will still belive that a woman who is independent, drives a prado jeep, has a fantactic job that nets 7figures per annum is too much for him to "handle". Its just the way it is.
I'm not saying that all single ladies who live alone are prostitutes or living in sin. I'm all for women empowerment. Thanks.
The archaic minds of most Nigerians believe that a lady should never move out unless she is married....I call it absolute BS.Whenever she feels she can handle the responsibilities and hassels of living on her own, she should feel free. A good and decent girl will remain good and decent whether in her parents home or on her own.Place of abode makes no difference.
A young lady who is yet to be married should live right in her parents or guardian's house. Do u not know the kind of respect u command when a responsible gentleman gets to know u live with your parents? I say responsible because its not all men share in that view but we are 'AFRICANS' we 'were' known for our humility, virtue and responsibility. Its time we start living up to that. So YES, a woman should move out of her parents or guardian's house only when she's married.
To me I think is better for a lady staying with her parents, she can move when she get married.....The matter plenty bcos Children of nowadays no ready to learn anything again....God Help us oooo....Bros shine ur eyes ooooo....Hmmmmm!
What about a lady whose parent are no more and she's got a job in a city and relocated; would she go sleeping under the bridge because she doesn't to be tagged a runs girl? Some guys take advantage of helpless or homeless ladies, thereby, accommodating and turning them to sex toil. It's ok for a lady to be in her parents house until marriage though but I would rather subscribe to getting an apartment than squatting with a single guy who would turn me to his blanket and pillow.
I love good music and i am a radio addict, but these OAPs are begining to bore me with their boring needless topics, first toolz comes with fashion or football? . and den.gbemi with.this.absolutely needless music wasting argument... can we get to talk abt value adding issues? OAPs can.u please add value to.ur listeners? Not bring some topic u and ur girlfriends argue about..
she should only when marriage beckons on her. our society frowns at it when a lady stays alone be it unmarried or otherwise. I have a friend who lives alone and I tell you, all sorts of guys visit her and they never return because the lady is comfortable, as in she has all. now at 30, still single, she now tells any guy who comes that she lives with her cousin who went abroad for a course. for me, I've all it takes to stay alone but am just scared......
I think a lady should be able to leave her home when she deems fit the "stereotyping" of ladies that live alone is outrageous and shouldnt be condoned in this modern day and age...#75748427
Staying with ur parents or living alone depends on the individual in question,my sis got pregnant before gettin married irrespective of how protective my dad tot he was,so it doesn't really matter.person wey wan spoil go spoil,besyds u dnt xpect me to go bk to the village to stay wit my parents after Nysc,were then will the jobs come frm.people will even brand me as being lazy and dependent
Some people are ignorant and backwards! I moved out of my parent's house while I was away in school, after 4 years, I graduated. I was so used to living alone that I gained my independence and moved like an hour away from my parents. They respected my desire to want to own my own place and be "responsible". Plus building my credit with rent payments(car notes, bills etc) has been blissful!
Leaving independently or with parents shouldn't b a yardstick for being decent. It all depends on how a lady carries herself. If she decides n stick to being decent n modest, then she will b. It's all bout the principles you set for yourself.
When she reach the age of 27,i think she is gewd to go
ReplyDeleteI would have taken you more seriously if you had used "good" instead.
Deletenever
ReplyDeleteGbam
ReplyDeleteSoon as she can afford to.
ReplyDeleteSimple. I'm unmarried. I live alone. I have a job that pays my rent. I have had a healthy rel with a guy that has very recently asked me 2 mari him. My point? If you can afford to, pls move out of your parents' house, live by yourself and learn a new aspect of yourself. To the people linking decency to living @ home, please give yourselves a break and be real...these days, I'm soooooo busy, I couldn't even see more than one guy if I wanted to
Deletegbam....u too correct!
DeleteI think when she is man enough to stay on her own..supported by her parent(s). There is actually no debate about this..its about family understanding.. John 14:27. BishopDammy#
ReplyDeleteGbam
DeleteWhen she feels she can have sex at home without anyone questioning her.
ReplyDeleteSince to some of them ability to fornicate whenever they feel horny is independence.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA
Bonario, this response is...a tad silly. no insult meant.
DeleteBonario u sound silly, no joke
DeleteBonario u sound silly, no joke
DeleteThink of a better reason
DeleteBut true true body dey itch babes nowadays to quick open their own shop, small time dem go dey lie to themselves , they try to psyc themselves say dem no dey sell market, say na freedom dem need. Abeg na who dem dey fool na... Themselves for sure...
DeleteBut true true body dey itch babes nowadays to quick open their own shop, small time dem go dey lie to themselves , they try to psyc themselves say dem no dey sell market, say na freedom dem need. Abeg na who dem dey fool na... Themselves for sure...
DeleteOn a serious note,Bonario you must not comment always because you end up writing rubbish that doesn't appeal to the prudent,I'm beginning to think you ain't as bright as you try to portray.
DeleteBlatant nonsense. U shld think before commenting
DeleteI think you should move out maybe when you wana get married or a job or probably schooling #bright bravo# 269beb21
ReplyDeleteIf you know you wan marry better man, and quickly, no get apartment o.....the man go just come dey do osho free and later dump you. Soldier go, soldier come. Men would respect you, if they marry you from your parents home.
ReplyDeleteLinda, you dey hear?
Olodo!!! I respect a woman because she's decent not because she lives with her parents or anyone else for that matter, not one that needs a leash tied around her neck because she lacks self control.
DeleteHe no concern me..next please
ReplyDeleteSee what Tiwa Savage did to a popular Comedian
Pretty wife caught cheating on her husband with the houseboy
When she is married I guess. ....
ReplyDelete@ 25 she shud be able to have finished everything abt school, get a good job and get d heck outta ma house. African mentality! Tufia! So poor!
ReplyDeleteWhether we like to hear it or not women are vulnerable to mens deception and that is not about to change. A young lady should be under the guide of a parent or a guardian until she gets married except for cases where shes not within the shores of any guardian. We wont shy away from what is the right thing all in the name of civilization or education , even though we know that lots of ladies crave for freedom to do whatever they want and not thinking through about the consequences of their action. Like they say, theres a generation thats intelligent in their own eyes but demonstrate a high level of foolishness. # street wise#
DeleteThe unexposed will always be stuck with an ignorant mindset. A lady that earns an honest living is free to live an independent life
ReplyDelete@ 25 she shud be able to have finished everything abt school, get a good job and get d heck outta ma house. African mentality! Tufia! So poor!
ReplyDeleteU got it so right!
DeleteU got it so right!
DeleteWilheminna, knowledge is not equal to wisdom and exposure is not the same as wisdom. Wisdom is profitable to direct, it can deliver a whole city into your hands...So get wisdom.
Deletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Am seriously in support of what she says.. True talk gal no doubt....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
This is subject to geographical location ...as per Nigerian setting, girls are ok to leave their parent's house upon completion of higher education...For yonder like UK they don't even need their parent's approval to leave without looking back at 18 years. ..lol...#SeunLondon
ReplyDeleteDepends on her age. I think above 30 is okay to move out. Our archaic Naija culture kinda labels such women as wild but the truth is.......independence is so important especially for women.
ReplyDeleteMother In Law From Hell- click my name to read more
lol see this one o. calling others archaic and thinks women should move out above 30.
DeleteIn my opinion, once you are done with school, I mean University or any other higher institution, you can move out of your parent's house as a lady.
DeleteThe Nigerian culture expects a lady to stay with her parents/guardian till she gets married. It's a form of check & balance for her life. Whoever wants to marry her will know that she will have family values she cherishes & therefore will operate within boundaries.
ReplyDeleteThe conclusion must come from men..
ReplyDeleteNigerian men are always intimidated by independent ladies...
They get scared knowing a woman works hard for her things and don't crawl begging for money..
When I have MY money, I will get me MY OWN house...
Call me a runs or fly girl, it won't take anything from me.
Ur head dey there my dear..if I make my own money I will ride my own super car,a real man dat has d guts will still push on to get me #some dumb men feel threatened around a successful lady much#
DeleteIf u both don't get "good" men to marry you by 35, youl start crying and lamenting and then be ready to do away with your house and so called super car. Move out if you feel you have to, but keep as low as profile as you can, when you are married, you can still drive your super car and live in that mansion, so you don't end up with play boys who will come to you just of the money they can see you have, treat you like trash afterwards or make your life a living he'll after marriage.
DeleteHahahaha. Lol.. Some dumb men feel threatened around successful lady much... While some intelligent men will wipe ur ass and eat ur money all for free.
DeleteThat was a wonderful argument but a runs girl will be a runs girl even in her father's house. #gbam. If a lady hav a "good an responsible job" to take care of her needs. She should move out
ReplyDeleteWhen your above 35yrs and unmarried,
ReplyDeleteLol... I feel the sarcasm in that
DeleteFor a runs gal,there's no need 2 move out.For a decent lady,when she finds the right man even b4 she finishes her sch...
ReplyDeleteTo me, I plan to move out wen I get A job dat can pay my bills n take care of me especially if its in a different city from my family house
ReplyDeleteDoing runs is a personal choice, most girls even do it from dier parents house.
D mentality of a gurl prone to doing runs if she stays alone is lame
Our individual discipline, way of life, family background n ethics determine who we want to be
A lady can move out of her parents house if she feels she wants to live alone amd have maximum privacy. Most parents wil say thier daughters who have graduated from the University and served NYSC shouldn't return home. She should start her life from there.
ReplyDeleteSome mothers are soooooo terrible that they make life a living hell for their kids who are of marriageable ages but not yet married. Even your own family members will mock you.
So, left to me, i feels a lady who no longer feels accepted in her parents home, but can very well afford to take good care of herself should move to a self contain or pitch with a a friend.
When she goes visiting, her family members will respect her again
No comments
ReplyDeleteBeing "open minded" is what is going to destroy us in this country shaaaaa. Trying to form Kim K and Lindsey Lohan. There are still some things that should be preserved and respected biko. It's "living alone" that causes our women to go and carry belle for all these ne'er-do-wells and end up being tagged "baby mama's"! Imagine! I never thought I'd see the day Naija women become baby mama's. Chai. Biko nu, if it's not a job of marriage, stay in your father's house. Well, except you become an old lady (may that not be our portions IJN, Amen). Copy better thing from ndi ocha, unu asi mba. It's only bad things like igba oto, imu amu, ilasha otu, ise gear, izu original, dgz. Sigh. Jisieni ike.
ReplyDeleteSo u are saying in essense that women that live with their parents don't get pregnant???
DeleteWhenever there Is a topic on women on this blog u see all sorts of dumb comments. Don't women get pregnant in their fathers houses? Is it today Nigerian ls started having kids outside wedlock? If not for internet and tech we would have been hearing about such from day one. In the whole of America is it only Kim k and Lindsay Lohan u can use as examples what about Mary Mary and Michelle Williams, I am sure they moved out of their parents house when they could.
DeleteI dnt personally tink a lady shuld move bck to her parents ouse aftr she is done wit youth service ....cos der wil be some restrictions aftr wrk u v to go bk home u wont v tym to keep frnds or even personal tym 4 urslf ....most of d tym u cant realli keep a r/ship cos ur parents still wont giv u dt freedom ....so i tink aftr service look 4 a good job nd live a responsible life wen d tym comes u tk ur man to ur parents nd introduce him to dem shikena...u can also travel home nd visit dem
ReplyDeleteA lady can decide to leave alone when she has started working. She can decide to leave with her parents until she is married.
ReplyDeleteI listened to it too and was quite surprised at the things I heard. Take me for example, I'm an orphan. Did the whole uni/Nysc thingy all alone. Got a great job in lagos and moved here abt 5-6yrs ago. I get judged all the time for being a "single lady who lives alone". My relatives in lag are all married with families, I can't be a burden. It's easy to judge a lady without knowing her struggle. I can go on forever.
ReplyDeletenawa ooo, I think dat question shud be directed 2 mr GOOGLE*ingrident don yarn*
ReplyDeleteWell I believe once a girl is making her own money and feels she can take good care of herself alone she can move out of d houz.......................#KingOfKings #6ixGod
ReplyDeleteI love that word 'archaic' to educated fools#smh
ReplyDeletea lady should move out of her parents house once she started working and can fend for her self..she need that freedom..
ReplyDelete#GodblessNigeria
when she ready to come and play hopscotch with my pogo stick....
ReplyDeleteahmean like wtf
save the jamb questions for the jambites
I actually agree with the idea of a young lady staying with her parents till marriage but if and when marriage doesn't come by age 38/40 then she has to pack up and leave. Contract is over!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely right.
ReplyDeleteThere isn't any right time! It is different from a guy! When you as a guy stay at your folks past a certain age, the society starts to look at you in contempt, but women don't get to suffer that! I think they are immune to it. But I don't think there is anything wrong with a woman living alone sha, it's her choice not anybody's and it shouldn't make them good or bad and it doesn't make them runs girls if they live alone.
ReplyDeleteA lady should move out of her parents' house when is married. Even if they live in 1room passage house,live with them.
ReplyDeletei agree with Gbemi......
ReplyDeleteThis is a real problem 2day oooo!!!
ReplyDeleteEx.
If a girl stays alone n a guy comes 2 visit, u r sleeping with him!!!
In fact, I am a victim of this ridiculous situation!
D woman went on 2 say about another girl "Hmmmm..... I pity some pple. They will get HIV b4 they leave this place o!" All because some guys from her group come around 2 visit her!!!
It's pathetic and rather sad!!!
And this same woman, in her late 30s, has a particular guy that comes over 2 see her @ odd tyms of d nyt yet she claims a 'familial rltship'. Hmmm.....
I digress.
We are, seriously, confined by the walls we build around ourselves and this has eaten deep to the core of the Nigerian system!!!
Which guy go get liver come toast u 4 ur papa house?? Even if he does, u r still bound n restricted 2 an extent...and this kinda affects d chemistry and spontaneity of d rltship!
I don't support PMS (pre-marital sex) o! But then there r even better things than sex in a rltship such as intimacy, sharing etc and these things won't easily b done in d daddy's house!!!!
When she feels lonely what comes to her mind... She may not be a runs babe. Its safer to be in parents house
ReplyDeleteCall me old fashioned but my baby stays with me until she get's married. If she has to move because of school that is different, even then she has to stay in boarding school.
ReplyDeleteA woman staying in boarding school? At what age? She'll probably be deflowered in secondary school, have all the freedom she needs in university. Probably be as good in bed as a porn star. Once she's an adult, the training you gave her should kick in. If not, she'll learn her own lessons
DeleteWhen she is mature enough to be independent, not jumping to live with a guy o.
ReplyDeleteShe should be old enough (not by age) to take n handle anything life throws at her (good or bad).
I'll be back to read the comments on this one. Interesting!
ReplyDeletemistcheww, be making case out of nothing.All these OAP bringing up topics to steer up bullshit controversy.Anyways you Gbemi or any other person for that matter have no right to dispute, disparage or vilify anybody or their opinion.You forget to take cognizance of the fact that opinions are based on perspective and perspective itself subject to life'*s experiences.
ReplyDeleteMy older cousin still lives with her parents and shes one of the managers in Exon mobile and earns so much money.She didn't move out because her have noticed a trend that any female family member that moves out of her fathers' house before getting married, don't get married till their late forties,is that a heinous thing to suggest or do?
Please if you want female liberation look to other avenues, some people have household principle and values that they would like to uphold.
Is the listeners I even blame calling in or using social media to air their opinions only to be viewed as stupid or ignorant.
Read and understand. She didn't say it was wrong for a woman to live with her parents till she gets married, but that there is nothing wrong with a woman moving out of her parents house even if she's not married or constrained by the distance to her job/school. Learn to understand before jumping to a conclusion.
DeleteWell I also agree with marriage or job/sch reasons only!
ReplyDelete...Its not all ladies that live alone that's a runs girl
ReplyDelete...C'mon but truth is i kinda second that part which states
....that if it's not for marrital issue or job reason/school stuff no lady should live alone
coming back to read comments on this topic, linda thank you for posting this cos thats my situation right now, im 27 and still reside wiv my mum, some of my friends think its unhealthy and want me to get an apartment on my own, please libers whats your take on this? cos i believe no woman should leave their parents unless they are going to their husbands house.
ReplyDeleteIt depends, if she's a *fuck mate* please oh! move out from you father's house, buh if she's a wife type, I wld be happy to meet my inlaws. O well, the first time I went to my wife's house, it was her parents crib. Single ladies should remain @ der parents till marriage, it shows proper upbringing n family values its a + for a wife to be!
ReplyDeleteWhen she's married or when she starts working. ## QUEENMAYA####
ReplyDeleteWhen she's married or when she starts working. ## QUEENMAYA####
ReplyDeleteDifferent strokes for different folks...there is really nothing wrong in a lady living all by herself. It doesn't mean she is irresponsible or wants to prove that she can be independent of her parents because no matter how rich or matured we think we are, we would always need our parents guidance. The fact is that when a lady comes of age and she feels that she needs her privacy not because she wants to be wayward or gallivanting around. Most importantly some people take bold steps to issues of life when they leave their comfort zone.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant comment Olajumoke
DeleteI think a girl should move out of her parents house if her education or job demands that as long as she is reasonable.
ReplyDeleteIn the African context which I identify with when she gets married.
ReplyDeleteI support her. she's very correct!
ReplyDeleteI listened to this programme, and must say I was very shocked and disappointed at the majority responses, I didn't realise we still have so much educated illiterates with very myopic reasoning. I guess women still don't have freedom in this part of the world, cos yes, it starts like dis. Tufiakwa!
ReplyDeleteFunny thing my mum thinks the same way too according to her no responsible girl should stay outside her father's house except for marriage. Sadly I don't share the same view and have every intention of staying on my own immediately after school in a few months. pretieviky@gmail.com
ReplyDeletehmm, as nigerians;education,job or marriage would determine dat oh but mehn, she can move as long as she is old enof nd fit to take care of herself..dats if she has somtin doin...yea dats my say.
ReplyDeleteAt 20,any gal can live her parents huz to hustle...any type of hustle since de moni is dia and also some live dia parents huz cos of poverty...
ReplyDeleteA lady should move out when she's adult(mature). I mean when she can take responsibility of her own( be herself)
ReplyDeleteBORN TO SHINE!!!
some peeps are so backward. i moved out then cis i needed my own space. my dad wadnt happy but when he saw i was adamant, let me go. ironically due to what i knew pple wud think, i was strict on myself and esp. male visitors. peeps said i wudnt marry - lol. 4 yrs after i left home i git married( its 17 yrs now and counting). its not to say i lived a nun or hermits life. if i had to i'd do it all over again
ReplyDeleteVery stupid mindset some Nigerians have.......
ReplyDeleteDey can leave anytime biko
ReplyDeleteBut its true shaa... Thr z no need of leavin ur parents hauz if its not Job/school. Tk Linda Ikeji for example!
ReplyDeleteTwit @successralu
Apart from Work, school and marriage, why would a woman live alone??
ReplyDeleteAs soon as she can afford to move out.
ReplyDeletepple nd dere iq
ReplyDeleteSee my country filled with unintelligent ideologies dat does nt even work for them.
ReplyDeletewhenever she feels like it
ReplyDeletesee gbemi wey dey talk....ask gbemi weda she still dey her papa house...and if she don marry
ReplyDeleteAfter uni she should move out
ReplyDeleteLinda biko,am nt a robot,post my comments biko o nne, well dat idea is so shity,ple still need to reason bf dey talk, u can move if u need space,is as simple as dat, dnt read too many meanings into it, xoxo...lillyspring1
ReplyDeleteMe I'm so ready to move out of my parents house cos there's no respect. Despite the fact that the family depends on me for 60% of its needs. But the truth is my salary can't handle it. I've literally slipped into depression and I look wrinkled. My family depends on me yet no single respect. I can't go out. They won't even cook for me. I will come back and cook and they'll eat. Every day I hide to get drunk and forget. Men I'm done
ReplyDeleteThe moment she gets deflowered. ENGR Emy
ReplyDeleteHuhmmmm.
ReplyDeleteif she have the money to live and take care of herself then its ok....no gender discrimination
ReplyDeleteThey should become independent as soon as they are out of school and gotten a job, living with folks is not necessarily being dependent on them.
ReplyDeleteFreedom is not free, it comes with responsibilities.
ReplyDeleteIf u like talk from now until kingdom come. A responsible woman will never move out of her parents house unless its marriage related especially when her folks own a home then pls tell me where is she going to if she isn't irresponsible??? A friend of mines babe lived with him for almost 2 years n they eventually did not get marriednbi always used to wonder where fr folks were n weren't they bothered. This gbemi babe na dead na. She's too ugly n obviously needs a man in her life.
ReplyDeleteNot every woman that lives alone is into runz but obviously majority of them are. The life of a woman is a charade filled with lies u can hardly find a truthful woman n I say this with so much confidence simply because there is almost nothing real bout females.
ReplyDeleteIt's not about being archaic, it's about sending the right message of upbringing. I have a lot of married sisters and cousins straight from my father's house. I am married too and I am a man. The point I'm going to make here is from a marriage point of view so if that's not important to you then keep arguing. Let's be honest, for a guy, moving out shows he's ready to be an independent man. For a woman, the question is, apart from distance to work and school, what does she need the independence for? Her ability to stay with her parents sends the message that she respects homeliness and authority rather than independence. Many single girls arguing against this and moving to their own apartments don't realize that even though they have the freedom to now groove as they wish and get visited as they wish, this is why they are still single at old age because they become too available to all sorts. In all honesty, there is no good thing a single girl needs in her own apartment that she can't put in her room in her father's house, except she doesn't want her father to see it in which case her "waka" is already questionable. There are more girls getting married from parents home than from their own apartments. Remember it's not for plenty talk and arguement it's about the message you send. Be wise.
ReplyDelete... that's why after marrying the so called home _girl, you end up running to the home of ur so -called street girl in search of comfort and succour cos mummy 's girl can't handle ur emotional needs
DeleteHmmmm this is interesting,.... but let me read others opinoin
ReplyDeleteHiqhes should be 30years..i mean what is a responsible girl doing in her fathers house @ this age?? she should be married by this time because if our mums had stayed in their father's house too, we wudnt have been qiven birth to. This is what is obtainable in our culture, in Nigeria and in africa as a whole.
ReplyDelete#Nancyuncommon
Whe she's married
ReplyDeleteAs soon as u can afford to.
ReplyDeleteThats if ur parent allows u
ReplyDeleteThe way we Nigerians reason ehnnn its annoying
To them if u a lady dt got ur own apartment den u a hoe smh
its not good for a Lady to leave alone, she should be with her parents or with her elder or matured younger siblings when her working place is far.
ReplyDeleteJust too Bad for a ladies to leave alone
U look like the way ur write
DeleteIt all depends on the situation at hand ... if u have parents live with them ... its not all girls that lives alone that are runs girls ... been lliving alone since I lost my sweet mother at age 18 . Some times I find it very difficult to tell people that I stay alone ... it hurts so bad ... pls dont tag any girl dat live alone as a prostitute until u hear their story ... thanks to Jesus am graduating next year nd hopefully God will provide me with a Good Job and a wonderful husband that will ... it is well!
ReplyDeleteTruly it may mean no harm if a lady stays alone,. But if u re not married and still have de privilege of putting up wt ur parents,. Pls do, it saves u a lot of troubles,. Linda, y re u still living wt ur parents? Oya answer?.lol!..#teamchris
ReplyDeleteI can't marry a woman that stays alone. Na aristo b dat
ReplyDeleteWe are in d 21st century for crying out loud. every one is looking for green pastures. I have a job very far away from home. Am staying alone n yes, I can remember doing runs or wayward cos am alone. it all boils down to who u are n ur upbringing. Goodmorning all
ReplyDeletehumm
ReplyDeleteI shared the opinion of the first tweet... The right time is marriage and job, (must be in a different location).
ReplyDeleteFew days to her wedding
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteWhen she gets married.
If she have to work in another town from where her parents lives.
If she decides not to marry
I think anytime she feels she can afford to stay alone, afterall when we were in school we were not leaving with our parents.
ReplyDeleteThe world is changing fast. Imagine staying with your parents' in adulthood? Soon u ll start acting like Old pple. Well, sm girls re also better off with der parents as if it will stop d promiscuous ones! Infact, I don't even knw sef.
ReplyDeleteDear Linda.
ReplyDeleteI'm not an illiterate, but I'm also of the opinion that a woman shouldn't move out of her parents' house before she gets married and I'll tell you why.
First, I'm a christian and I will speak from that standpoint.
When a lady moves out of the house, its a sign of independence (which is good) but then, she becomes susceptible to a lot of things. As a christian who wants to wait for marriage to have sex, you become more vulnerable and falling could be very easy.
I'm not naive so i know she can find many ways to have live in sin right under her father's nose if she pleases but moving out just eases the whole process.
If she truely wants independence, she can live in her parents' bq or that of a family friend. that way, she's independent, has her own pot of stew/soup, manages her own time, and is also accountable to the people she lives with.
I'm single and i don't live with my parents but i live in my family friend's bq with my sister.
They understand that we work and so no body quibles about how late we get home or how often we go out. We cook our own food, are responsible for our bills, have our own generator, etc. Our friends can come over but we also know that we cant have boys visiting us. Its just the way it is.
Plus there's also the society to think about. Let's not deceive ourselves, we live in Nigeria and no matter how much education we acquire or how much of the western culture we imbibe, we won't completely erase our culture, practices and stereotypes.
Some "educated" men will still belive that a woman who is independent, drives a prado jeep, has a fantactic job that nets 7figures per annum is too much for him to "handle". Its just the way it is.
I'm not saying that all single ladies who live alone are prostitutes or living in sin. I'm all for women empowerment.
Thanks.
I.
Its a major problem in our society..so many educated illiterates
ReplyDeleteThe archaic minds of most Nigerians believe that a lady should never move out unless she is married....I call it absolute BS.Whenever she feels she can handle the responsibilities and hassels of living on her own, she should feel free. A good and decent girl will remain good and decent whether in her parents home or on her own.Place of abode makes no difference.
ReplyDeleteA young lady who is yet to be married should live right in her parents or guardian's house. Do u not know the kind of respect u command when a responsible gentleman gets to know u live with your parents? I say responsible because its not all men share in that view but we are 'AFRICANS' we 'were' known for our humility, virtue and responsibility. Its time we start living up to that. So YES, a woman should move out of her parents or guardian's house only when she's married.
ReplyDeleteAnytime she is ready to take responsibility for her self o.. Linda post my comment o. @osas_osaretin
ReplyDeleteTo me I think is better for a lady staying with her parents, she can move when she get married.....The matter plenty bcos Children of nowadays no ready to learn anything again....God Help us oooo....Bros shine ur eyes ooooo....Hmmmmm!
ReplyDeletei concur to that.
ReplyDeleteWhat about a lady whose parent are no more and she's got a job in a city and relocated; would she go sleeping under the bridge because she doesn't to be tagged a runs girl?
ReplyDeleteSome guys take advantage of helpless or homeless ladies, thereby, accommodating and turning them to sex toil. It's ok for a lady to be in her parents house until marriage though but I would rather subscribe to getting an apartment than squatting with a single guy who would turn me to his blanket and pillow.
I love good music and i am a radio addict, but these OAPs are begining to bore me with their boring needless topics, first toolz comes with fashion or football? . and den.gbemi with.this.absolutely needless music wasting argument... can we get to talk abt value adding issues? OAPs can.u please add value to.ur listeners? Not bring some topic u and ur girlfriends argue about..
ReplyDeleteshe should only when marriage beckons on her. our society frowns at it when a lady stays alone be it unmarried or otherwise. I have a friend who lives alone and I tell you, all sorts of guys visit her and they never return because the lady is comfortable, as in she has all. now at 30, still single, she now tells any guy who comes that she lives with her cousin who went abroad for a course. for me, I've all it takes to stay alone but am just scared......
ReplyDeleteI think a lady should be able to leave her home when she deems fit the "stereotyping" of ladies that live alone is outrageous and shouldnt be condoned in this modern day and age...#75748427
ReplyDeleteStaying with ur parents or living alone depends on the individual in question,my sis got pregnant before gettin married irrespective of how protective my dad tot he was,so it doesn't really matter.person wey wan spoil go spoil,besyds u dnt xpect me to go bk to the village to stay wit my parents after Nysc,were then will the jobs come frm.people will even brand me as being lazy and dependent
ReplyDeleteSome people are ignorant and backwards!
ReplyDeleteI moved out of my parent's house while I was away in school, after 4 years, I graduated. I was so used to living alone that I gained my independence and moved like an hour away from my parents. They respected my desire to want to own my own place and be "responsible". Plus building my credit with rent payments(car notes, bills etc) has been blissful!
Leaving independently or with parents shouldn't b a yardstick for being decent. It all depends on how a lady carries herself. If she decides n stick to being decent n modest, then she will b. It's all bout the principles you set for yourself.
ReplyDelete