Dear LIB readers: I am about to marry a man I no longer love | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

LI_Mobile_Leaderboard_1

Thursday, 30 January 2014

Dear LIB readers: I am about to marry a man I no longer love

From a female LIB reader
I am about to get married. My wedding is in fact 16 days from now. I just realized I dont love my man like I used to. I dont know how to tell him how I feel. I am so scared to break his heart. I have been trying to rekindle my feelings but its not working. I am so confused and don't know what to do. I know I can't cancel the wedding because everything is set but I can't help but feel I'm making a mistake. What should I do?

271 comments:

  1. Madam! Don't even try it o that's a big risk o



    Your comment will be visible after approval

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its called wedding jittery! Abegi go marry.

      Delete
  2. U must hav bin seeing sm1 else

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam,u've said it well.
      She dey love another man

      Delete

  3. Sista go ahead and marry dis innocent man and be prayerful, notting is impossible in the sight of the Lord.



    #Note you watch too much NOLLYWOOD MOVIES.

    ReplyDelete
  4. hmmmm odikwa serious oooooooo. babes u can call it off o. marriage is a lifetime o. u dont wanna be wt a man u dont love ( first to comment yaaay)

    ReplyDelete
  5. My dear, am just as wearing same shoes with you. But mine is slightly different cos just a normal intro has been done. Swithart, pray about it and let God take control. Also have it in mind that, once you stay, u r there for life. I just hope, you are not feeling so cos u met somebody else?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Don't v an answer 4 u ooh! U in a fix.both ways no wan pay.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ahhh, you have seen some other guys talking sweet nonsense to you abi? Anyways, it's called cold feet.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ahhh, you have seen some other guys talking sweet nonsense to you abi? Anyways, it's called cold feet.

    ReplyDelete
  9. my advice is let him knw how u feel. u guys shud talk abt dis. it is beta late dan neva.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Madam! Don't even try it o that's a big risk o, there is more to marriage than love, marriage is not all about love, u need more than love for a marriage to work, most especially you need God's grace, but in as much as marriage is not the only reason to consider in picking a marriage partner, love is still very important, it plays a vital role in the marriage, it takes about, 60-70% of the reasons why u marry a person so if there is no love, I will advice u don't go ahead with the marriage


    Your comment will be visible after approval

    ReplyDelete
  11. What's hard in expressing ur mind, well if u can't tell him urself, tell sm1 older....cos I bet if u dnt, I pray u dnt regret for life

    ReplyDelete
  12. dear poster, pls let ur man knw bcos entering into a marriage without love is self torture.

    ReplyDelete
  13. God.... Hw is dat even possible, well if yu want to be happy yu have only sixteen days to make that happen.....

    ReplyDelete
  14. Tell him or kill him

    ReplyDelete
  15. My dear,cancel d wedding cos its better than 2 regret later. Marriage is 4 better n 4 worse. If u make a mistake in marriage now,then its d mistake u've made 4ever.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Its Betta u tell him,though its gonna hurt him so bad bt u jst have 2 tell him coz if u don't,u wld endup sleepin wit other men which wld hurt him so so bad.

    ReplyDelete
  17. u re maaaaad y did u accept to marry him when u folly knw's dat u dn't luv him lyk b4 ahawo THAT AKWA IBOM BOY

    ReplyDelete
  18. Call it a quit now 'cos u eventually may nt enjoy d marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Why can't you just say you wana leave him after you saw UCHE ODIKANWA biceps?? #Justsaying!! #Myopenion..


    I Rep IT JAKES YOU ( A Book Of Inspiration By Linda Ikeji)
    >>Comment Moderation Disabled<<

    ReplyDelete
  20. Why don't Ў☺ΰ love him again?did u se or meet some1 better dan he is?what is wrong with we ladies atimes?what u α̲̅я̩̥̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ looking for outside,u won't se it ooo,

    ReplyDelete
  21. Just knw that any decision yu take nw is going to affect yu for the rest of ur life but the question is, are yu going to live with the consequence...

    ReplyDelete
  22. Why would you want to be depressed for the rest of your life? Tell him. Then again in Naija people dont marry for love anymore.,

    ReplyDelete
  23. It's either u say it n quite now or forever remain silence. ##awordisenough4dwise##

    ReplyDelete
  24. But i wish yu happy marriage in advance....

    ReplyDelete
  25. Haba, did u knw before u guys took a dat na wa ooooo OBIRIN

    ReplyDelete
  26. It's best u tell him how u feel now because in my opinion marriage is "till death do us part" if u love yourself,u won't marry a man u don't love because u won't be happy sweetheart!

    ReplyDelete
  27. katherine pierce30 January 2014 at 15:32

    Na nw day break?how com u jst realized? Dis na supa story o mayb u r jst havin weddin jitters

    ReplyDelete
  28. Sweet heart be brave call it off now before its too late... or maybe its the nerves acting up? But if you try and try and you are not excited about your future WALK AWAY NOW...

    ReplyDelete
  29. After You'v Drained Him, you wana leave abi?? No Let Acid Follow You ooooo!!

    I Rep IT JAKES YOU ( A Book Of Inspiration By Linda Ikeji)
    >>Comment Moderation Disabled<<

    ReplyDelete
  30. Better to call it off, homie. Better late than never! Can't go trapping yourself. You aren't going to be the first/last to call off a wedding at the last minute. Pray about it and ask God for direction. You'll end up carrying hate into the marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  31. As Libers say a broken engagement is better than a broken wedding.Its better to tell him how you feel and live with the consequences of your action, than pretend and end up being miserable as a married woman
    Ng says so via my agbalumoberry

    ReplyDelete
  32. I will suggest you pray and/or seek for spiritual help/advice as quickly as possible. In any marriage that LOVE doesn't exist, will eventually collapse.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Better discuss with him. If not see you on the next list of unhappy or crashed marriage #Mr Lucky

    ReplyDelete
  34. You were once in love with this guy. Be bold for you and for him, tell him how you feel. Both of you will work on rekindling your love. Trust me, if you marry a man you don't love, you'll put him through hell. Get back in it.

    ReplyDelete
  35. My dear ders nrting new under d sun...if u dnt ave feelings 4 him anymore, pls let go of him ok.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Run away or tell your parent. But you know this guy has slept with you several times now. Think before you do.

    ReplyDelete
  37. U didn't finish d story my dear, tell us dat u r seeing another man datz y, u don't love ur husband to be anymore, my advice to u is dis forget dat boy dat u r seeing and go ahead with u wedding as for love it will surely locate u two, but if u feel u want to break out bcos u don't love ur man, many girls r waiting to love him so choose one

    ReplyDelete
  38. You no get gist abeg.How can you claim not to love him anymore when your wedding day is very close.Please save him the embarrasment,divorce him shortly after the wedding.And Linda,I hope you are not using LIBers as baits for your marriage

    ReplyDelete
  39. please walkaway

    ReplyDelete
  40. Make hay while the sun shines.leave him now to avoid accident on the way o

    ReplyDelete
  41. Very simple..... Arrange with a Doctor to tell him u have HIV or sumthg worse, act shocked & cry ur eye balls out to make it real... Ask mercy johnson for cryin tips.

    ReplyDelete
  42. It depends on ur definition of love... You never stop loving someone, except you've never loved him. #hisxcellencie

    ReplyDelete
  43. Eyya! Edey happen, jst tell him n move on wats d worst dat can happen, by gettn married n not loving him is torture, better find ur diff now b4 its too late, tell him n pray for guidance.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Dis Linda sef, do u charge money to publish a comment... Hian!!

    ReplyDelete
  45. The answer is simple,since love is the pillar of the institution of holy matrimony.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't mind bona. Marry him.
      U love him. Ur just scared. Its just d fact dat u won't be able to d tins u use to do b4, dats wats making u to be scared.
      But, y ur feeling run, beta call am back.
      D guy fit even read dis, and he will find out ur talking abt him. U for no ryt how many days remain for ur wedding.

      Delete
  46. Now this is a serious issue.

    ReplyDelete
  47. serious,tell him hw u feel,bt i advise dont cancell d wedding,cos u dont knw wat tomorrow hold,and u might regret it later if u cancell it.pray and ask God to give u d heart to love him as ur husband.

    ReplyDelete
  48. My dear, this is when you need to ask yourself some sincere questions.
    1. What has changed? Why don't you lovehim anymore?
    2. To begin with, did you ever love him? What did u like abt him?
    Remember no 1 is perfect. Be sure u can atlist bear his flaws graceully...
    3. What do uwant to see in the man who you will spend the rest of your life with? Does he possess a rreasonable quality of these? Etc etc etc
    your gut never lies to you dear...listen to her. Its the Holy Spirit she :) wunt lie to you
    hope this helps. Wish u de very best!
    Remember our feelings and emotions can mislead us...but understanding will keep you

    ReplyDelete
  49. Well, you have not told us why you no longer love him. They must be a reason for that. I personally will advice you let him know you love him no more, before the wedding. Lindi, you can post this one if you like but I know you considered my advice about the name thing.

    ReplyDelete
  50. My dear, this is when you need to ask yourself some sincere questions.
    1. What has changed? Why don't you lovehim anymore?
    2. To begin with, did you ever love him? What did u like abt him?
    Remember no 1 is perfect. Be sure u can atlist bear his flaws graceully...
    3. What do uwant to see in the man who you will spend the rest of your life with? Does he possess a rreasonable quality of these? Etc etc etc
    your gut never lies to you dear...listen to her. Its the Holy Spirit she :) wunt lie to you
    hope this helps. Wish u de very best!
    Remember our feelings and emotions can mislead us...but understanding will keep you

    ReplyDelete
  51. Y marry him if u don't love. Dear u will be making a very big mistake. Am a living example

    ReplyDelete
  52. this is what sex b4 marriage does.....datz all i can say.

    ReplyDelete
  53. My dear, this is when you need to ask yourself some sincere questions.
    1. What has changed? Why don't you lovehim anymore?
    2. To begin with, did you ever love him? What did u like abt him?
    Remember no 1 is perfect. Be sure u can atlist bear his flaws graceully...
    3. What do uwant to see in the man who you will spend the rest of your life with? Does he possess a rreasonable quality of these? Etc etc etc
    your gut never lies to you dear...listen to her. Its the Holy Spirit she :) wunt lie to you
    hope this helps. Wish u de very best!
    Remember our feelings and emotions can mislead us...but understanding will keep you

    ReplyDelete
  54. Wat do u mean u cnt cancel the wedding? Why did u even accept the ring in the first place? Una sabi put unaself for trouble.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Its jst a phase, ur probably stressed frm d weddin preparations nd nt tinkin straight... gv it time

    ReplyDelete
  56. Tell him ure an Ogbanje.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Hello Dear,
    I must tell u that love it over rated. I say this beacuse even if you got married to who you love, most likely the sparks will die off after some time . Ask yourself, do u like him. lol. like is enough. Is he a good dependable man, Is he patient and responsible. Can he be a good father to your children, If so thats husband material , please go ahead and marry him.

    ReplyDelete
  58. its hard but its better you tell him...better late than never. hope you realise you are going to have this feeling everyday for the rest of your life if you walk that isle??...sure he'll try to convince and beg you if he does love you, but its supposed to be a two-way thing...well my opinion

    ReplyDelete
  59. Tell him madam! Tell him now and do not go into a loveless marriage. A wise quote: A promise is worse than a lie, because a promise does not make a person believe but hope. And what you are doing in getting married to him, is making a promise you don't intend to keep. Break it off

    ReplyDelete
  60. You already made up ur mind and yet , you are asking us what to do ? Go watch runaway bride by Julia Robert . It's ok to run.

    ReplyDelete
  61. can u imagine this yeye girl?..after all the courtship and preparations for marriage...u just found out that u dont love him anymore?..i mean ...that says a lot about u urself!...I just feel sorry for the gentleman and hope he finds out and gets someone better and leave u to rot with ur stupid feelings for another man(thats the only reason u say u dont love him anymore)...I have seen this happen many times...an it doesnt ever end well....be guided accordingly...

    ReplyDelete
  62. That's a huge thing τ̲̅ȍ say,marrying without l♥ѶѮ,buh U̶̲̥̅̊ have τ̲̅ȍ check yourself if its fear for marriage or U̶̲̥̅̊ really don't l♥ѶѮ him anymore.ask ur self some questions only you can answer,ar U̶̲̥̅̊ seeing someone else or ....cos if U̶̲̥̅̊ go on with it, U̶̲̥̅̊ may regret 4 d̶̲̥̅̊ rest of ur life.a broke relationship I̶̲̥̅̊§ 100times better than a broken marriage.think

    ReplyDelete
  63. For u to feel that way it means u are in love with someone else, so its ur decision do wot u feel is right.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Well you need to speak to him before the wedding day.
    Also what is making you fall out of love? Are you having Cold feet or what?

    Do what you need to do b4 you marry for the wrong reasons or you let a perfect gentleman go because u might have eyes elsewhere.

    Be prayerful, when people set to get married my dear a lot of confusion, fight, with a millions thots come into play....PRAY

    ReplyDelete
  65. It's never 2 late to back out sweetie.life is 2 short 2 be spent wit sum1 u do nt love.dnt marry based on sentiments

    ReplyDelete
  66. Better late than NEVER. This is the time to tell him how u feel.Marriage is not an institution where you Toy wit ur partner's heart. Break off the wedding. Thank U

    ReplyDelete
  67. I guess there's another guy in the picture. It's best you summon courage and tell him now, instead of going into a marriage which is already DEAD ON ARRIVAL!!!

    ReplyDelete
  68. Calm down, take a deep breath&think of why Ɣ☺u were loving him in the 1st place! Or is someone else getting ur attention? Are Ɣ☺u falling for someone else? Flash back what kept Ɣ☺u guys till this moment, communicate more with him, pray very well& seee a counselor! Pls Ƌ̲̣̣̣̥o̲̣̥п̥̥̲̣̥'τ̲̣̣̥ cancel d wedding buh remember a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage! He loves Ɣ☺u more then Ɣ☺u have •̸№ problem dear! All the Best.

    Harnikky.

    ReplyDelete
  69. So you found another guy right! I m cancelling the wedding. I suspected this all along.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Stand him up?
    Just a suggestion.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Babe, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. Please cancel the wedding, ain't easy but in the end you'd be happy you did. Take care

    ReplyDelete
  72. Yea ryT...@Bonario

    ReplyDelete
  73. A lot of women marry men they don't love, mostly they marry for money, or for the sake of their age, then get frustrated like bunmi adebayo.... If u know her abeg no tell her o....shhhhhhhh.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Am just like you,i went into the marriage and I feel hopeless right now I don't know for how long more I can stand him we are just getting to 3yrs now,i wish for divorce everyday he really loves me though,but I don't feel the same for him it's exhausting because you won't enjoy anything the sex will be poor,you will be pretending for the rest of your life,though my own lied to me about some stuff like smoking,drinking etc and lots more,so I thinks that's our major problem when I married him all the reality came out am from the north,so before marriage is not like you get to stay with your fiance so practically I married a stranger,but in the end all am thinking is that marriage is not all about love,it has diff pillars patience,endurance,piety,Godliness,kindness,acceptance if it's to late you have to manage,because the missen thing will be happiness you won't be happy forever,honestly if you can stop it do,but if it's late sorry

    ReplyDelete
  75. Manage you for talk since

    ReplyDelete
  76. Very few people, if any, would have the courage to walk away at this point. If you didn't have the courage to break it off before it got to this stage, you won't have the courage to do it now. Sorry, but you will be going through with the wedding. I hope you learn to fall in love with him again.

    ReplyDelete
  77. my dear your not making any mistake. You have a spirit husband that does not want you to marry SIMPLE. People are so blind spiritually. Go to MFM prayer city for 5 days deliverance with your spouse. It's very important before marriage. Please just try this, if it doesn't work then you can break up. am begging you dnt call it off.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Pray about it!believe me, d only reason you are asking about wht to do is cos u already knw..just tell yourself d truth.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Truss me breaking d engagement is d best tin dat can happen 2 u,av in d same situation and am happier dan ever

    ReplyDelete
  80. Tell him and see his reaction he maybe feeling the same too..but if his reaction is very bad u can tell him u are joking and just get marry to him...just try and love him again.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Pele. Just manage.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Pls break his heart now rather dan make his/your life miserable

    ReplyDelete
  83. My dear a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. Sommon courage & tell him now b4 u both regret tying d nub.
    Jaytee

    ReplyDelete
  84. Please dont do it! I am in one for the past 12 years and I regret it. I knew but i just went on with it, its not worth it, you will cheat on him. forget what people say, tht youre wicked. Break up now not divorce

    ReplyDelete
  85. You no well. Nonsense, you better tell him before you start printing Christmas cards ...lol..I had to leave it cos that was what came out of my heart . I mean wedding invitation cards and buying things...As for the wedding dresses you can sell'em so no wahala. If you marry him GOD can catch you. So ,just behave yourself. I wish your hubby was a LIBer he would have suspected. SMH!

    ReplyDelete
  86. Cancel the wedding or postpone it....Trust me, u will be happier.

    ReplyDelete
  87. This is really hard, I know someone who had same experience but dey re coping well now, u will still love him but its goin to be a gradual process. Look for things u loved about him and concentrate on dem. I wish u well.

    ReplyDelete
  88. oh my God... I feel the same way too! this writer just stole my thoughts. Will this feeling go away? is it normal? is it the pressure from wedding preparation? I don't know what to make out of this feeling, we fight everyday these days and its just not the same anymore, mine is in 8 days! help by sharing sincere opinions...especially those who are married... was it same for you?? just so confused!!!

    ReplyDelete
  89. What ure feeling happens to almost every bride b4 wedding,ud get over it trust me

    ReplyDelete
  90. Cancel the wedding or postpone it. Trust me... you will be a lot happier..

    ReplyDelete
  91. Dont marry a man out of pity bt 1st make sure its not anoda guy datz deciving u cos most guys are dangerous,dey wil do anytin to get evn bt if sincerely u dnt love him again tel him nw so dat u dnt make d worst mistake of ur lyf

    ReplyDelete
  92. The earlier d better madam, its a lifetime thing so make up ur mind now.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Tell him wat u feel dear,cos once u enter into it,no turnin back,...it's not 2 late,av seen wedin dat was canceled 1week b4 d deal day!!!!!! So it's better u break up now,dan gettin married 2 a man u no longer ♡ n u den find urself cheatin on him !!!!! Lindodo how are u?

    ReplyDelete
  94. i think u shld let him knw hw u feel. two of u can still make it work.

    ReplyDelete
  95. so sorry dearie,its just a phase of doubt,the experience of marriage is overwhelming trust me.....but just keep yourself together things will turn out for the best.

    ReplyDelete
  96. U need deliverance,open ur heart to him...let the love of God fill ur heart

    ReplyDelete
  97. Nna mehn, your man is lucky oh. At least you can admit, unlike other girls that would still enter for other gains. Please tell him sharply. I am sure he will be glad you saved him future trouble.

    Women should learn from this, and not just marry any rich man that comes their way


    Na wa

    ReplyDelete
  98. A broken engagement is beta dan a broken marriage

    ReplyDelete
  99. Marriage is not just about love only, its also about appreciation n loyalty. So those can also stand in d stead of love besides it's not every day u love in marriage

    ReplyDelete
  100. Marriage is not just about love only, its also about appreciation n loyalty. So those can also stand in d stead of love besides it's not every day u love in marriage

    ReplyDelete
  101. MY DEAR, YOU KNOW YOU'RE DOING THE WRONG THING, SO WHY CONTINUE. ITS NOT TOO LATE TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING, BESIDES LEAVING A FIANCE IS EASIER THAN LEAVING A HUSBAND, NO PAPERWORK INVOLVED AND ITS LESS MESSY. SAVE YOURSELF. YOU DESERVE TO NOT ONLY BE LOVED BUT TO BE IN LOVE AS WELL. OK?

    ReplyDelete
  102. Babe, its easy. Haven't you heard the saying "a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage". Now is the best time to tell him irrespective of whatever plans you've both made already. things might just get worse if you go ahead with this marriage. do the right thing and stay happy.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Tell us the full story,why do u stop loving him?if i guess right there is another man but maybe u are worry bcos the guy has done alot for u.....my advice stop the marriage since u dont love him again,but ladies need to stop this habit,if u cant marry a man stop collecting valuable things from them bcos some men are not smiling

    ReplyDelete
  104. 16days to ur marriage nd u eventually stop loving someone u had love with ur heart..u better check urself well bcoz theses is not an ordinary issue..may be u suffuring frm family curse.

    ReplyDelete
  105. sorry dearie,its just a phase,you are basically overwhelmed by the thought of the institution of marriage...just be calm and positive things will come good...but you really need to work on what you feel,you need to be certain.

    ReplyDelete
  106. A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage. Didiluv

    ReplyDelete
  107. IF YOU DON'T LOVE HIM, DO YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER???? COS THIS MIGHT BE SIGNS OF PRE-NUPTIAL JITTERY........... NOT TRYING TO SAY I DON'T UNDERSTAND UR FEELINGS, BUT SOMETHING MUST HAVE PROMPTED THIS FEELING OF U NOT LOVING HIM......... RELAX....... AND THINK OVER IT AGAIN....... AND THIS TIME, MAKE SURE YOU ARE 100PERCENT SURE OF UR FEELINGS............

    ReplyDelete
  108. Hmmm!!! You sure? It may just be last minute wedding jitters... If you are a lady that has always treasured her independence maybe the thought and reality that two is about to become one is scaring you a bit??? Pray well about your feelings and decisions before you make any final decision you may or may not regret. Also at some point you may want to confide in your beau about how you are feeling. Maybe his response to your feelings may re-assure you that he is the right one. All the best and just in case you do get married, I wish you a beautiful and Godly marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Bonario wat do u want her 2 do!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  110. Dear writer, I want to tell you this, I first of all checked the 16days to go that you mentioned, thank God it falls on Saturday, reason why I am replying you lol.

    My man of God "Pastor Chris Oyakhilome" said and I quote "Don't marry who you love, love who you marry",....

    Because you love someone doesn't mean the person would love you back with the same percentage, Oh No.

    Remember this, Women can fake orgasm while guys can fake the whole relationship

    When you both settle down is the beginning of the relationship and the building of the family.

    You have said YES to him, and that was the reason you both choose the wedding date.
    If he
    1. Born again, and loves God
    2. Not selfish
    3. Hardworking
    4. Easygoing
    5. Visionary

    Then I will encourage you to go on with the wedding..

    You can invite me if it's within Lagos Hehehe :)
    God bless you

    ReplyDelete
  111. Well, It happening so late and if you chose to break his heart it will affect the wedding every member of the family. So the best is to rekindle that love before 16days up to you lol

    ReplyDelete
  112. Most of Our forefathers didt marry who dey loved but their union lasted till death

    ReplyDelete
  113. i'm in the exact same situation, thank you for asking via your post, you are speaking for a ton of us :(

    ReplyDelete
  114. hmmmmmmm, This is a tough one

    ReplyDelete
  115. Famous BONARIO u didt mke meanin wit wat u said u jst commented kawai so dat we go knw sai u de. Baba park we'll jor. Sister call off d weddin. Sharply

    ReplyDelete
  116. Ask him if u can postpone the ceremony for now to think things through (he'l catch thw drift). U shouldn't be where u don't want to be. U can't satisfy everyone @ the same time...don't need to, as ur needs come first!

    ReplyDelete
  117. I guess he is not as rich as he used to when you first met him. just a thought!!!

    ReplyDelete
  118. This is reality o. if u r sure he luvs you,marry him o. there is more to marriage than luv o. marry him o…linda post my comment o.

    ReplyDelete
  119. walk away.though its hard.I made d dame misake and nw am stuct in a loveless marriage

    ReplyDelete
  120. Exactly the same is happening to me. i really dont know if i still love her cos seems everything she is doing now is all wrong to me...she is damn annoying and my wedding is July 16th

    ReplyDelete
  121. D answer is infrnt of u

    ReplyDelete
  122. Try more harder to love him .

    ReplyDelete
  123. Love is the foundation woman! if there is no foundation, I dont think you should build. Even with Love, Marriage come with a lot of trying times. Just imagine when that love is not there.
    You can actually learn to love him again since you once loved him.

    Before you ask, yes I am married.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Cancel the weeding, its better to cancel it now than to divorce later

    ReplyDelete
  125. You have answered the questionyourself.you can't cancel onhim so,go ahead and marry him!!! (˘̯˘ )

    Aibekay

    ReplyDelete
  126. You need lots of prayers first,before making any decision at this crucial time.one bad decision can yield lots of sorrowful harvest

    ReplyDelete
  127. Amaka Chioma Dada30 January 2014 at 16:09

    I think you should let him know how u feel , as well as search your heart and find out if you are in love with someone else or there may be something about him that doesn't fancy your attention anymore.

    BABE!! DON'T CANCEL THE WEDDING!! DAT WILL BE TOO PAINFUL, SHIKENA!

    ReplyDelete
  128. Hmmm..this is serious

    ReplyDelete
  129. Babe u re on ur own oooO,cos u knew ur feelns hz chnge wen u wnt on planin a weddn.

    ReplyDelete
  130. My dear better marry him, love still fades away aft marriage, aft all u guys know each other well and get along.

    ReplyDelete
  131. its better you stop the wedding and not force yourself into it than been in it and have a different story of divoice or been a single parent........kindly have a re think

    ReplyDelete
  132. Nothing is done until it is done. If you do not love the man, then tell him and also tell your parents. A broken relationship is always better than a broken marriage. You are still in a relationship, otherwise you would not be talking about a marriage in 16 days. Love is an essential (but not the only) ingredient in marriage. If you do not love him any more, then cancel the wedding. It also seems like there may be someone in the background distracting you. If that is the case, then good luck with that.

    ReplyDelete
  133. A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage. However, what are those things that made you stop loving him and what are those things that made you love him in the first place? What does love mean to you? Search yourself be honest to yourself.....

    ReplyDelete
  134. this is the right time for you to said it,seek help from your friend ok discuss.after that meet the man open up.and stop hurt your self

    ReplyDelete
  135. Hmmmm.....since you can't cancel d wedding,go on wit it,then u pray to God to help you rekindle dat feelings for your man...pls don't brk d young man's heart,plsssss

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear it's now or never, don't make d biggest mistake of getting married to a guy u no longer feel anytin for..It hurt but
      Walk away now!!!


      #That happy sister!

      Delete
    2. Your story is not complete, u can't just stop lovijg some u ve loved so long, its either he is not treating u like b4, or u love someone else, check wat it is, and ur solution lies there in

      I don't copy and paste my gist
      And comments are auto comments
      No need to wait for approval.

      click here supremacydone.blogspot.com

      Delete
    3. ^^^^ people like this are reason why this world is fucked up.

      Delete
  136. the feeling will come and go. stick o ur man. love is more than what u fill at the moment.

    ReplyDelete
  137. Wedding jitters. Don't allow the devil to confuse u. U mite not av a second chance again. U will find more reason to love him very much. Cindybiggs

    ReplyDelete
  138. this is the right time for you to said it,seek help from your friend ok discuss.after that meet the man open up.and stop hurt your self

    ReplyDelete
  139. Mhen luv z very important in marriage u beta rekindle it fast bcus anytin u do 2 him som oda guy will also do it 2 u

    ReplyDelete
  140. Try it,nd u wil regret it all ur life.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Better to have a broken relationship, than broken marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Pray hard God will Change ur feelinz pls dnt fall dat guy hand inugo

    ReplyDelete
  143. My dear, it just might be wedding jitters. Almost every couple feels that uncertainty when the wedding date is close so i feel u willl be fine. Besides 'love' is not the most important in marriage, it 'trust', 'friendship', 'respect'. When these things are there, Love finds it way there too.

    ReplyDelete
  144. Hahaha...and u yaff plan wedding finish, pls dnt break ur asoebi dem hrts ooo.....except u ave refunds....lwkmd

    ReplyDelete
  145. My dear, u can't cancel d wedding cos its already too near, d best tin for you to do now is to run away, my friend ran away and dissapeared few days to her wedding cos she was forced to marry an old man she wasn't in love wit, DAT was the only way she could get out of it....I advise you to do the same.

    ReplyDelete
  146. there should be a reason behind it,call your man and explain why u stopped lvin him probably he can ammend his way back to wat he used to b.... all d best dearie

    ReplyDelete
  147. If your 100 percent sure you don't love him be strong and brave and walk away.

    ReplyDelete
  148. Nd u had to wait til arrangements had bin made? God will not forgive u for wat you r about doing to d young man cus I know how being misled feels

    ReplyDelete
  149. Been waiting for this particular topic. sadly,I am in the same shoes. I just find that I am no longer in love with him and we are planning our wedding as I write this.
    We used to be best of friends but now we can't see eye to eye. No agreement,no nothing. Quarrels forever abound between us. I feel like it would be a huge mistake if I marry him. And believe me,I have tried everything I know to make it work including prayers. I want it more than anything to work but its not just working. I need advice because am @ a crossroad as it is.

    ReplyDelete
  150. love is so much boyond just feelings.., probabaly you dont feel the butterflies in ur tommy n all the whole intial gragra amd i tinks that can be worked on by being much more romantic to each other and tri to personally dweal on the things you rilly triped for about him when you initialy meet him..
    make sure u think well, pray and b sure before u take ani decision you may regret letter..
    i wish u well dear.

    ReplyDelete
  151. Broken engagement,is beta than broken marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  152. Since u can't cancel wat advise r u looking for? Jst go ahead n marry him as planned and pray for the love to come bck as it use to be b4

    ReplyDelete
  153. I was in the same position 10 years ago. In my case, I was around 5 months pregnant and I felt I had no choice but to go ahead with the wedding. I knew there was no love but I was too preoccupied with thinking about what people would say. The marriage only lasted two years. They were the worst years of my life. I didn't love my husband. He in turn ended up hating me for allowing him enter into a loveless marriage. I was constantly wishing I never walked down that aisle. We all suffered; myself, my ex and my daughter. Getting separated and subsequently divorced was the best decision for all three of us. I'm not saying don't go ahead with the wedding but listen to your heart. Good luck

    ReplyDelete
  154. Meet a counselor as soon as possible is do u don't go 4 a divorce two month after marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Don't cancel d wedding pray to God and you will still love your man again.

    ReplyDelete
  156. If ure religious,pray to God for answers ,ask him his plan for you,if ure making a mistake.if u listen he'll answer surely.if it's his will for sure ,u will eventually love him so much u wouldn't believe.if it's not his will ,I would advice to end it ,it might ,most likely would break him ,but it's better for BOTh of you.just saying

    ReplyDelete
  157. So u tink, babe u beta marry am. Wat is ur reason for not lovin him now? R u sure u av not bein fuckd good by anoda man of resent? Coz we ladies our wahala toomuch and we confuse wat we feel most of the time. Anyway marry ur man, love goes far deeper than d eyes can see. Am a married woman and sumtimes I feel I don't love my husband, but wen I look at him for just 5min, I knw deep inside me I can't leave witout him, he is my life, makes me happy and am lucky to av him. So relax, na devil wan use u so.

    ReplyDelete
  158. So u tink, babe u beta marry am. Wat is ur reason for not lovin him now? R u sure u av not bein fuckd good by anoda man of resent? Coz we ladies our wahala toomuch and we confuse wat we feel most of the time. Anyway marry ur man, love goes far deeper than d eyes can see. Am a married woman and sumtimes I feel I don't love my husband, but wen I look at him for just 5min, I knw deep inside me I can't leave witout him, he is my life, makes me happy and am lucky to av him. So relax, na devil wan use u so.

    ReplyDelete
  159. Linda please its not every useless questions that you will be posting here abeg.

    ReplyDelete
  160. young lady, first of all, let me ask you. what are these thins u use to love abt him? why do u fink you dnt luv him again? just in 16days are u r already saying this? na wa for u oooo.tel us the truth abt wat you ve done to yoursef or to him secretly and we wnld sure advice you, bcuz to me, your point is nt clear yet abt this.lets b sincere here.haha

    ReplyDelete
  161. what did he do, or just dont love him any more. if that is the care you need to pray yourself out because the devil is at you.

    ReplyDelete
  162. My dear, love is a decision you consciously make. Agape love is not the butterflies in your stomach and that is the only kind of love that lasts a lifetime. As long you are still attracted to him n he doesn't irritate you, talk to him, maybe he stopped dressing or looking as attractive as he used to look... once there's attraction, the rest is a conscious decision you make! you two need to talk.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Pray over it, dear

    ReplyDelete
  164. Best advice is this, call it off now. Not on twitter or facebook or other social media. Call the guy and tell him how you feel. But make sure you're not getting cold feet, that can happen when you're getting ready for a big step such as this. Reason for calling it off? Your happiness, your sanity, his sanity, his happiness, and most importantly your future kids happiness. Don't waste his time, its better he gets hurt now and trust me, he wont die, he will dust himself off and try again, than to be married and MISERABLE. When you're happy, your happiness radiates all over, it affects your husband and your kids. When you're miserable, it affects your husband andyour kids. Do the best thing and cut Iit off now. If you have to pistpone it, do that, but make sure that you're sure this is what you want to do. No one is going to be miserable with you but you and your husband, so dont care what other people and relatives think. They'll catch up at their own pace.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Don't know ooo..its kind of dicey..I think you need to remind yourself of why you fell in love with him in the first place..start from there and pray your feelings return or else if you decide to marry him without feelings...your marriage becomes nothing but a sham...but I just hope its wedding jitters..

    ReplyDelete
  166. Well since you don't love him, let him know asap, before you end up cheating on him.

    ReplyDelete
  167. pls dont cancel the wed,im sure love will find it place back in your heart.

    ReplyDelete
  168. TeLl him ur mind(xsexie blingx)

    ReplyDelete
  169. What I don't get is why play someone into marrying u and den u start backing out, I'm very sure u knew all dis before the planning of the wedding, u had better get on wit it and save dat guys face, its not everyone dat survives it dat kind of embrassment. So think well before u do anything

    ReplyDelete
  170. My dear think of those time you were in love the good times you spent together and see if the love will come back.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Its better you cancel the wedding before its too late,because marriage is a forever contract if its seems you don't feel it for him again please think twice.....A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.In-fact i once heard the confession of a married man who says with his present marital problems, his advice for singles is that IF YOU HAVE ANY REASON/ANYTHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL YOU SHOULD NOT GO ON AND MARRY A PERSON EVEN FEW MINUTES B4 THE WEDDING YOU SHOULD QUIT AND LET THE PEOPLE TALK SAME THING HAPPENED TO HIM WAY BACK,HE IS SEEN HELL RIGHT NOW IN THE MARRIAGE BECAUSE HE NEVER LISTENED TO HIS SPIRIT.

    ReplyDelete
  172. my dear, if u tell urself d truth,u will find out u are probably in l.ove wiv another. But you can still go on wiv d marriage,try to forget dat person dat is shacking u now and love ur guy

    ReplyDelete
  173. You have to pray and ask God for direction cos the enemy is at work. If u leave this man u may end up not marrying again mark my words. Don't even think of that at all. Why will u allow him to go through the stress if u don't love that means u have someone else u are lusting after, wait ooo u can't just wake up to tell us u don't love ur man again. We need concrete excuse this one no be excuse abeg. All these guy will push out of ur home and still dump u. God is watching ooo don't shatter dat man's heart abeg ooo.

    ReplyDelete
  174. Is he getting broke???

    ReplyDelete
  175. I think you should think twice and make up your mind before it's too late. Do not end up punishing one another cause marriage is a life thing.Decide before you go into it, i am not discouraging you but do not end up making a mistake for the rest of your life.

    ReplyDelete
  176. My dearest, stick 2 ur man, it will wrk out well, marriage can't be based on emotions alone o, U use ur head, like some1 said earlier, emotions, feelings r never stable, sumtimes, we love our parents, all hugs & kisses, sumtimes we dislike dem, either way- dey remain ours 4ever.
    Let him remain urs 4ever, pray 2 God 2 teach him hw 2 love U, & U hw 2 luv him, b4 U know it, U'll be thanking God 4 giving U such a perfect man, ask me, ask Toke Makinwa, ask all other married pple, its not only about feelings, its all about GOD's GRACE.

    ReplyDelete
  177. My dear u re just scared of marriage love is mutual feeling dat grows, u ve to find d love u ve for him and u have to tell him how u feel but please don't let ur fear conquer u.

    ReplyDelete
  178. If he is a nice person please go ahead and marry him, since u once loved him u wont regret it, it happened to me but my reason was dat my ex came into d picture and I got confused but thank God I married my hubby and not my ex cos I am not regretting anything at all, he has been d best hubby any woman can wish for, just pray and go ahead and marry him, sometimes it could be wedding jitters...

    ReplyDelete
  179. Ask yourself one question can u give an arm n a leg to this person if the answer is no, run, cancel the wedding @ d end of d day, ppl here wont live with u after d wedding. Marriage is a life time commitment n if u don't start on a good foundation then u r in trouble. To b honest, the first yr of marriage is d hardest n love plays a huge part in it. Now to the real stuff, if there is a problem Uve noticed n haven't discussed or don't v a a genuine gd answer to the situation or perhaps ur heart is tellin u stuff, mayb it ok to call weddin off or move it forward. All the best

    ReplyDelete
  180. You might not know d value now till u make d mistake of going back. That's When what u felt was gone will come back in full force. Go ahead with ur marriage. Its just devil @work!!!

    ReplyDelete
  181. Save the man unnecessary heart break and stop the wedding once and for all. The marriage will definitely come to an end soon, so why waste the money? Please let him go now and take your love to your secret lover.

    ReplyDelete
  182. Babe I get you don't want to hurt him and disappoint your family. But you have got to realize this is a lifetime commitment. Do you really want to be unhappy for the rest of your life? You shouldn't be feeling this way 16 days to your wedding. If you and your mum are close, you can start with telling her. All the best.

    ReplyDelete
  183. Few weeks before my wedding i asked myself alot of questions too. Are you guyz doing any pre-marital counselling at all? If you arent i think you should cuz its a neccessity. My Dear the goose pimple, excitng blood pumping Love cannot sustain marriage in the longrun hope you know... Does he love you without a doubt? Are you guyz really good friends? Does he put you first in everything? Does he care and pamper you? is he Godfearing? Does he want to make you happy all the time?....if all or most of your answers are in the positive, then dont make a regretable mistake by letting him go. Marry him and work on yourself dear, come out of fantasyland with fairytales and o perfect love. Its even better when the Man loves more.

    From a Happily married lady

    ReplyDelete

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the comment writers alone and does not reflect or represent the views of Linda Ikeji.

Recent Posts