"If u can't stand me calling you "ode, bitch, ewu" then don't bother" - Pretty Mike lists desired requirements his future wife must have | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Friday 7 April 2017

"If u can't stand me calling you "ode, bitch, ewu" then don't bother" - Pretty Mike lists desired requirements his future wife must have

Socialite, Pretty Mike, took to Instagram minutes ago to share a ridiculous list of requirements his future wife must have. Mike, who was arrested a few months ago by the Lagos state Government and cautioned for putting a leash on two women, amongst other attention seeking antics, said his future wife must be okay with being called derogatory words by him. He wrote:
WIFEY/SERIOUS GF application: Below r the rules/criteria in sending ur cv..

1. Please if u are a Yoruba girl n frm unilag,pls don't bother 
2. if u have dated at least 2 popular yahoo guys 👎🏽
3. You must get a letter of recommendation frm at least 2 of ur exes n if you've had just an Ex,pls support ur claim with a 11 paragraph affidavit 
4. You must have a decent job (don't be a marketer or MuA🙈
5. Please If u have a Loud Snoring game,pls don't bother, I will hate to miss d trumpet when it sounds cause u were snoring 
6. Pls if u don't knw how to use🍴or u've leaking mouth(food drops frm ur mouth)we shall be having dates in fancy restaurants,Pls I don't want to be disgraced and no I can't teach u table manners 
7. Pls if ur name is/are Bolanle,Damilola,Bisola,Olamide,Rukayat,Sukurat,Raimat...u r Automatically disqualified 
8. If u have more than 1 Club owner's number #Smh
9. If u are in a Private Uni "Bu,Run,Bowen,Cu,Bells" and u are in Lag every weekend,total 4get it 
10. If u r a drug addict 😡
11. Asides d usual pet names "baby,darling and shii" if u can't stand me calling u "ode" "my bitch" "Ewu" then don't bother
12. If u enjoy SocialMedia attention "Abeg fine urself another man" 
13. Pls if u Enjoy getting High Regularly "Forget it"..Cause Na ur Type dey enjoy smoking weed while been pregnant #Sub
14. If u are not ready to cut off ur single friends that r not in a serious relationship,den I'm not ur man.
15. If u have a favorite black bra,pls stay away from me
16. If you dont squirt,please slide away
17. Pls if u are a lesbian,don't hide it from me,it's allowed as long as I can watch
18. Please if you're ugly,Biko ex,I can't stand my child being bullied 4 looking like Mr ibu 😂
19. My Lepa babes "Abeg Noway 4 u"
20. If you're a baby mama abeg I know do. 
21. If you've done runs in Abj,Ph,Owerri and u now want Lag Husband,don't send ur cv cause our machine will detect U
22. If u can't stand me sleeping with ur nipples in my mouth,pls stay far
23. Speaking of Runs "if ur runs has taken u as far a Apapa" Forget it
24. If you're frm Benin n have been to Italy at any point in time,Biko don't apply
25. If ur r ff Bellodus,UncleBukz,Jay,Mosh,Yanju..RedFlag ooh
 
 
at 4/07/2017 04:42:00 pm

78 comments:

  1. Unknown7 April 2017 at 16:59

    Hmmmmm bros u serious oooooo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 17:50

      Good people of LIB, please I need your help. I am financially broke and depressed at the moment... godslove2001@yahoo.com

      Delete
    2. NaijaDeltaBabe7 April 2017 at 18:00

      Lol. He will marry Virgin Mary then


      ... Merited happiness

      Delete
    3. Ina7 April 2017 at 18:17

      I sight your LGBT umbrella. I sorry for anyone that will marry this gay man.

      Delete
    4. CHERYL (aka FROM GLORY to GLORY)7 April 2017 at 18:32

      Lmao!!!! Mad man


      Long live LIB

      Delete
    5. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 19:21

      Bet he got his rainbow umbrella from the last Mardi Gras

      Delete
  2. Lola7 April 2017 at 17:02

    Lol i actually found it more hilarious than annoying, i think he's just trying to make a joke

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 19:22

      He's a club owner who must have seen a lot of the shit girls do,notice how he's being very specific

      Delete
    2. Unknown7 April 2017 at 22:48

      Yes i found it hilarious too..But then jokes apart, just negodu nu nwa ochicha (cockroach) giving us list of his wife's requirements when we all know he receives tru ike ñsi .. which sane woman want him anyway. Him and his bae bobrisky should go and hug transformer...

      Delete
    3. Tigi8 April 2017 at 00:51

      Chai, babe, u harsh o. Lmao.

      Delete
  3. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 17:04

    Very foolish man. I'm sure they've used the remaining blood in his brain to do menstruation.
    He nau even mentioned my name again. Who wants to date a ghost looking man like him? Rubbish!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 17:11

    This my clearly have mental illness and Nigeria police still let him off the hook, Na until he kills someone that's when Naija pple will understand how ill this man is, he needs psychiatric help, his family and relatives should act fast and get him help so that he won't end up murdering an innocent soul. Prevention is better .....

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 17:12

    Hmmmm. O ma se o. May God forgive you and save your soul. Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Alexy Shehu7 April 2017 at 17:13

    Haaaahaaaaa. Funny Dude

    ReplyDelete
  7. Unknown7 April 2017 at 17:16

    Lol..ode,ewu,okpo u no serios. This one ur doing is it not social media attention seeking? Who dey find u sef.smh

    ReplyDelete
  8. Unknown7 April 2017 at 17:17

    This guy should just come out as a gay that he is already...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hrm paul7 April 2017 at 17:34

    Preety mike my man he just dissed Yoruba girls.and dissed Tonto hahaha.but serious if u meet dis guy u will love him very funny and lively

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous9 April 2017 at 07:31

      He must be fucking ur ass too, second Bobrisky

      Delete
  10. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 17:45

    I like the squirt part

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 18:00

    Sick

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 18:04

    The woman who ends up with this man will be very depressed and suicidal cos he is too into himself and has an unhealthy superiority complex.
    He wants a slave not a wife/girlfriend.
    Nama!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 18:10

    This one needs a good beating. Knock some sense into him

    ReplyDelete
  14. Unknown7 April 2017 at 18:26

    Lol.
    Some truth in those verses tho.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 18:30

    copy cat. He copied it from d Zimbabwean millionaire's requirement for a wife.D guy guy gave d list of requirement late last year.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Unknown7 April 2017 at 18:31

    The guy know more about ladies,alot of girls out there today re guilty of this short listed,even for village girls go fail this test

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous9 April 2017 at 07:32

      Sadly for him I meet all the requirements, even better, but i've been married since my teens

      Delete
  17. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 18:35

    Demented animal.I strongly blame social media for this.who wants to marry an animal like u. Tufiakwa!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 18:41

    ROFL! Real life troll.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 18:44

    I can only laugh....in fact,am laughing&shitting myself...wot a joker?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Sauce7 April 2017 at 18:50

    Abeg guy go marry ur mama n no tell me sey she no get all dis ur qualities oo...

    ReplyDelete
  21. Unknown7 April 2017 at 18:51

    dat na for babes wey get ur time

    ReplyDelete
  22. ifeoma's verdict7 April 2017 at 19:01

    Obviously his village people are after him.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Bayo7 April 2017 at 19:01

    He is just being funny... I don't think he actually means it.
    here is how to get a big penis

    ReplyDelete
  24. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 19:08

    Total unstable personality disorder. Unfortunately the diagnosis is not recognised in Nigeria which makes it better for him . Well we are wAtching you cos definitely you willsoon end up in court and your post will hunt you . Remember discrimination, derogatory comment, instilling hatred, internet nuisAnce . All these are punishable under the law , all are criminal offence.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Tpy7 April 2017 at 19:10

    He is carrying an umbrella with LGBT colors. This guy is gay, there's no doubt about that

    ReplyDelete
  26. Kally2347 April 2017 at 19:13

    Can't stop laughing 😅😅😅, Na ur future wife I dey feel sorry for, cos by the time una tie the knot ,she go dey receive congratulatory messages like , congratulations bitch ! Happy married life Ewu😄 ..I trust my Naija people to keep the list wait u for their library.

    ReplyDelete
  27. sheezee7 April 2017 at 19:14

    Joker of the century. Suck ur balls nigga

    ReplyDelete
  28. Agbomen7 April 2017 at 19:16

    Na waoh oo!! Are u for real Pretty Mike!!! My suspicion is dat u may want to try out comedy as a career but u ain't so sure u will do well,hence all dis drama. U are testing d waters to get feedback. If dats d case,i applaud ur strategy. Otherwise!!! u need a psychiatrist,ASAP, cos u may be loosing it.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 19:23

    You don't deserve a wife. You are not qualify.
    Na craze don start for you so. Even with you wealth, you can not get any wife

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 19:29

    It's hilarious and silly. And what does he offer? That silly white outfit???

    ReplyDelete
  31. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 19:31

    'if you have a favourite black bra, Pls stay away from me.LOL

    ReplyDelete
  32. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 19:32

    Machine detector' LWKMD

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 19:36

    Your mama no train u well, Ode

    ReplyDelete
  34. Iykegeneral7 April 2017 at 19:37

    Lol one with his own problem

    ReplyDelete
  35. MAYBUMS1237 April 2017 at 19:38

    Clearly u r looking for bobrisky naaaa just tell us jor

    ReplyDelete
  36. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 19:43

    Funy dude....

    ReplyDelete
  37. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 19:47

    That favorite black bra tho lol 😂😂😂

    ReplyDelete
  38. xobeabeth7 April 2017 at 19:49

    Attention seeker



    www.xobeabeth.com

    ReplyDelete
  39. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 19:50

    He is a gay... see the color of the umbrella, see his comment on lesbian..

    ReplyDelete
  40. Vic7 April 2017 at 20:13

    Lol....This cracked me up so bad...From No. 15 to 25 was so hilarious...Thank God he now has machines to detect runs girls sha!!Watching the lesbians is quite disturbing to me though, especially when it's your wife doing such.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 20:16

    THAT GOAT MUST BE REALLY FULL OF HIM SELF SHA..EWU SENIOR

    ReplyDelete
  42. Carina Kikelomo Jacob7 April 2017 at 20:19

    Attention seeker.
    Even if he is gay or heterosexual his sight disgust me! Tueh!! May God help his parents. I hope. He doesn't give them a heart attack. Not a son but a waste product!

    ReplyDelete
  43. Emeka Izuogu7 April 2017 at 20:51

    Lol..you've just dissed Bisola of BBNAIJA

    ReplyDelete
  44. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 20:57

    mmmguidersforum.net

    ReplyDelete
  45. Tigi7 April 2017 at 21:13

    Any girl that would suit pretty mike's criteria would also have a criteria of her own.....like....

    If u have had sex with more than 10 different girls, dont bother.

    If u don't have a respectable source of income like....medicine, engineering, law, or u don't have a masters, doctorate or u r nt in d board of directors in a reputable financial institution....look d other way.
    If u r too flashy and so full of yourself, Nada.

    If u have being a source of embarrassment to urself in public/internet bros no worry....etc.

    I am sure he won't meet her criteria too....
    Guy, u can't plant yam nd reap okro naa, haba!

    U'll certainly end up with a bitch a Buffon like u deserve.
    Lmao.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 21:20

    Any woman that marries you is all you intend to call her joined together.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Meriks antixynophobia7 April 2017 at 21:33

    Want another girl on a psychco leash,mike mike,hian

    ReplyDelete
  48. lami7 April 2017 at 21:45

    The! Guy is sick and only a sick person would marry him.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Unknown7 April 2017 at 21:50

    Lolz i enjoyed reading the write up just like i love joro's own. Strictly for fun and entertainment not like i take you guys serious. Nice write up.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Unknown7 April 2017 at 22:04

    Lol. Nice one. Linda, U won't let pretty mike be until it turns to another Wizkid Vs Linda tale. I really enjoy d humour. D sub is on Kokolet. 😂😂😂

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8 April 2017 at 00:19

      Sub is for Tonto 'KingKong' Churchill nee Dické

      Delete
  51. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 22:05

    U r my Hero bro...
    I wish u can meet so u teach me more as ur side kick

    ReplyDelete
  52. Unknown7 April 2017 at 22:26

    JUS SEE DS MAD MAN!
    -D great anonymous now as Vivian Reginalds

    ReplyDelete
  53. Unknown7 April 2017 at 23:32

    funny dude

    ReplyDelete
  54. Unknown7 April 2017 at 23:33

    funny dude

    ReplyDelete
  55. Anonymous7 April 2017 at 23:34

    he's just being funny>>lol, right? right?

    ReplyDelete
  56. Anonymous8 April 2017 at 01:55

    From President of Association of the Mentally ill

    ReplyDelete
  57. Brenda8 April 2017 at 02:06

    WHAT A BEAST.
    LET HIM TAKE SOME LESSONS AND OBSERVE COUPLES WHO HAVE STAYED LONG IN MARRIAGE.

    THAT KIND OF BULLSHIT INGREDIENT IS MISSING FROM THEIRS.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Unknown8 April 2017 at 04:50

    I think this guy needs a serious psychiatrist examination. His case is getting out of hand.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Anonymous8 April 2017 at 05:34

    Funny enough women of nowadays are problems

    ReplyDelete
  60. Anonymous8 April 2017 at 06:03

    This man is seriously seeking attention

    ReplyDelete
  61. Ella chandelli8 April 2017 at 06:04

    And some stupid Bitch would go and apply now... Girls Eeh Na we dey do ourselves!

    ReplyDelete
  62. Anonymous8 April 2017 at 06:04

    This man is seriously seeking attention

    ReplyDelete
  63. Anonymous8 April 2017 at 10:04

    Attention seeking.


    280 TBC for 196k only. Call or whatsapp- 07069487300

    ReplyDelete
  64. Anonymous8 April 2017 at 21:59

    im just wondering who gave birth to this thing. cant even be called an animal cos animals don't treat their females this way. ur mom..i pity her. attention seeking or not, this fool needs a beating

    ReplyDelete
  65. Unknown9 April 2017 at 10:43

    The guy is simply saying dt, he doesn't want a woman in his life. Period. Dont we get it?

    ReplyDelete

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the comment writers alone and does not reflect or represent the views of Linda Ikeji.

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