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Sunday 22 February 2015

Sunday Morning laughter...

Oya laugh small jare...lol. (not written by me...it's a joke)
I was driving down a street along Alausa, having just finished answering a call, when a policeman, suddenly, opened the passenger door, entered and jam-locked it.
(The door lock is faulty)
As usual, he wanted 'something' from me for calling while driving...
Suddenly, he saw the big Rothweiller dog, Jackie, at the back seat of the car, with tongue stuck out, spittle dripping and fangs barring, staring fiercely at him.

Policeman: (Shaking)
Ah! You carry dog?

Me: (I bone face) Yes, I carry dog. Dat one na offense?

Policeman: (Feeling uncomfortable)
Na where una dey come from?

Me: From hospital.

Policeman: Ehen! you sick?

Me: No, na person wey the dog bite we go see. The person almost die sef.

Policeman: (Terribly shaken by now)
Ehen! But why the dog dey shake head like that?

Me: Na so im dey do if e wan bite person.

Policeman: The dog know you?

Me: Yes nah, no be my dog?

Policeman: (Sweating)
This your door, how you dey open am?

Me: How you take enter?

Policeman: Abeg! Na since I dey try open am, but e no open.
(The dog was now getting impatient and gave a small growl, its tongue almost touching the policeman's left ear).

Policeman: (Now sliding forward)Oga, I take God beg you, open the door for me make I comot. I no go collect anythin from you.

Me: How much you go pay me?

Policeman: Ah! I neva hustle anythin since morning. Na only N1,000 dey wit me.

Me: You neva ready.
(I looked back at the dog).

Policeman: Ok ok ok ok ok, e reach N2,000. The oda N1,000 na my wife own, but I go give you join.
(Now, close to tears as the dog was becoming really impatient)
Oga, I be......g, Oga, sorry. Take the N2,000 make you open the door plssssssse!

Me: Oya, bring am. (I collected the N2,000 & allowed him out of the car)

Policeman: God punish you. Idiot, e no go ever better for you and your yeye dog. Wicked man!!!
😃😀😀😀. Pass it ahead, don't laugh alone.

222 comments:

  1. Buhahahahahhaahaaha gej till 2019

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  2. Ovoko voko voko voko...lmfao

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  3. Ovoko voko voko voko...lmfao

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  4. Itz an old one linda,,, i'll send u more

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  5. Hehehhehe good 4 him

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  6. Linda lacks stories. I read it on laila's blog.

    Linda gone lazy.

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  7. Lol ...watched the comedy skit on youtube tho.

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  8. LOL make i jus laff
    *
    *
    *
    #LIBBOO

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  9. lmao... Smart policeman. who is the mugu now..... Linda go church

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  10. Stale joke but still make me smile.... good morning libers.

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  11. Funny but I forgot to laugh because I've heard the joke before.No be Ur own as claimed......

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  12. Funny but I forgot to laugh because I've heard the joke before.No be Ur own as claimed......

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  13. very lovely, we need more of this.

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  14. Hehehehehe! Lilly u funny ooo! U for be Basket mouth partner naa..



    Only say the joke stale sha.


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  15. Hahaha hahaha... Naija police, Good for him

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  16. Funny :) but I read it before. Sunday morning hotness pls, thank you. #SeunLondon

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  17. My ribs are aching seriously from laffing hard. Na wetin fit our policemen be dat. Lol! Linda take note!

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  18. My ribs are aching seriously from laffing hard. Na wetin fit our policemen be dat. Lol! Linda take note!

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  19. My ribs are aching seriously from laffing hard. Na wetin fit our policemen be dat. Lol! Linda take note!

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  20. Linda is dis ur first time of seeing ds joke? Old joke..But it stil made me smile small

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  21. Just had my 1st laugh 2daY mehn dz's funnY sha

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  22. Lmfao.#Epic#THAT AKWA IBOM BOY#

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  23. U don kill me with laugh here ooooooo yeeeeee

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  24. VEry funny.laugh it out pls

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  25. Lol...this joke has been around for a while, nice one still,at least i grinned

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  26. Really funny, he should have collected more from the policeman. Naija police sha!!!

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  27. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Wow jst felt beta ds mornin. LOL.

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  28. Nawa o...aunty linda I read this last 2years naww

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  29. Hahahahahaha! Lin Lin my love u no go church? Dey here de crack my ribs

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  30. lol...the police man don jam wetin pass am

    ::::::::::::::::QUEENMAYA:::::::::::::::

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  31. Lol, this is the best joke I have read in a long time!

    As in, you collected money from a Nigerian Police officer? This is hilarious.

    I need to get me a dog for some runz that that i think police might want to interfere.

    #Saijonathan

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  32. Hehehe, nice one.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

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  33. Funny linda, atleast may police Still pay dis time around

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  34. This is so funny walahi! #BrownSugar

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  35. Lmaooooooooooooooo haaaahaaaa serves him right

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  36. So wish dis happened 4 real! Lolllll

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  37. I LAUGHED UNTIL I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES...

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  38. Very very old joke Linda. But never fails to crack my ribs each time I read it!

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  39. Funny small sha..cos I go die or basket mouth don crack d sweeter version of it..nice try dou

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  40. It has been recycled one too many times.

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  41. It has been recycled one too many times.

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  42. ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha lmfao
    xyz(dara-ima/aittyfinest)

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  43. Hahaha.... This joke worth sharing with friends.

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  44. Hahaha... This joke worth sharing with friends.

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  45. LMAO! That's guy's the real MVP!

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  46. See me see laughter ooo. I like that dog. Lol

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  47. Fake dry story!

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  48. Linda this is old joke Na...haba!!!

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  49. Makeup services n trainings at bimp n bell makeup school add-2AE59C62

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  50. Mscheeew...dry joke. Not funny!

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  51. Linda,ds is stale. Well im nt suprised,na ur way. Anyways it cracked me up wn read d joke d first time.

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  52. Lmao! Really hilarious. The dog for chop em left ear comot sef

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  53. hahahahahaha......omg i cant handle dis....hehehehehe

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  54. lol... so afraid? so shameful...

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  55. Lindodo na old joke joor, originally done by I go dye.

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  56. Lindooo u go kill personooo! Amamu n'obu gi mere ihe di otua becos u luv money pass urselF. Lolo1

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  57. See? The driver has collected bribe. Text Fortune to 33020.

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  58. I can't stop laughing !! Choiiiii

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  59. Hahahahhahahahahah oga policeman ur prayer nor go catch da man ooooo bcuz na wayo money wey u nor suffer for u use save urself.

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  60. NOT FUNNY LINDA

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  61. Hahaha..The policeman will look very well b4 entering another car

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  62. Lmao OMG just woke up this morning and read this everyone thought I've gone mad Been laffin for more than 10mins. Nigerian police won't kill us with their greed...

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  63. LOL



    #Commenting thru Glo 4G LTE

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  64. Linda this joke is extremely stale

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  65. Laugh want kill me here o. Seriously in tears here in the name of laughter.





    Busy Fingers.

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  66. Joke was Said by I go dye in 2010!

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  67. Very stale. Shior

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  68. LooooooL......................... *thamixbreed*

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  69. lol, that man is from ABA.
    $.
    $.
    @Carlos via Nokia Lumia

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  70. ehehehhehehe i no fit laugh oo

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  71. This is an old joke but it is still hilarious anytime, anyday.

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  72. HahHahahahahaha...hahahahahahaha...hahahahahahahahahahahaha !!!
    Chai! , chei!, I don't know what say !
    There's. God o !
    Hahahahahaha ...Naija best comedy movie should bow down like a bitch to this script .
    Linda and the producer, una thank you .
    I wonder what oga will tell madam when she ask for her 1k ?
    Bros , don't leave your house without the dog because he will be waiting for you o !

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  73. Lol! Ok. I've heard this one before and it still cracks me up.

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  74. Linlin this joke is so 1960 but still funny sha

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  75. Linlin this joke is so 1960 but still funny sha. You try

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  76. This is a stale joke now.
    Is this not the episode (one chance) of officer titus by ndani tv on youtube.
    link below:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmI06Im4Y_A

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  77. Very stale!

    Where have you been?

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  78. Funny but isn't a new joke dou

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  79. Can't stop laughing...

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  80. Seen it sinceeeee. Old joke but funny.

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  81. Can't stop laughing

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  82. Na wilDeji be this, I can tell!

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  83. Old joke tho, but still gat me lafin

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  84. That dog will sure receive a treat

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  85. Haaahaaaa!!!! folish police....
    Lin Lin....this is a start up i think you should support.....just saying.

    im doing this for a friend of mine,pleassss surprise her by supporting her,CNN alredy interviewed her this is a link to her interview http://cnn.it/1zNHOI2?fb_ref=Default

    Cheers!!!!

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  86. Hilarious!!!!

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  87. LMAO. Ali baba told this joke long ago but it is still funny as hell.

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  88. The person that posted this copied it from that lastma funny video of Officer Titus. It's shown on ONTV. People sef.

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  89. Hahahahahahaha! Abeg Linda no kill me with laff *ROTFL*

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  90. Hhahahahaha! A dose of their own medicine.

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  91. Linda this is an old joke now
    Not funny again

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  92. rotfl!!! e gud 4 am. *bela*

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  93. Dis is a old joke oo Linda,reason y I couldn't laugh..

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  94. Linda what kind of stale joke is this? this joke was written in the 19th Century... so dry and old. mtchewwww

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  95. Linda,i don hear this joke since 1960.

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  96. Linda linda this joke don tey na. Chai! We av yu been?. Still made me laugh though. *thumbsup*

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  97. Yeye ppl they deserve more than dat, abeg laugh wan kill me here!

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  98. When the hunter becomes the hunted......hilarious

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  99. Good for the Ekelebe man. him for stay make the Dog finish him. Lol....

    ............Funny Nigerian POLICE and their habit of collecting money from Civilians.............

    ............Great Lesson to Him.......

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  100. Yea kind of funny, the wirter try small

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  101. Loolz

    Meanwhile email me to know how to enlarge your joystick and stop premature ejac n let your woman respect you

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  102. Try and bring in more of this on sundays... LMAOOO

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  103. Omg my bellle wan burst here o.....lindy babe u do well dis morning oooo

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  104. Lolz lindodo i no fit laff ooo

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  105. Good for NPF. I wish you collect him ID card join so that him go bring balance come collect am

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  106. Lmao.... na wetin fit those police men

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  107. Lmao. Suits all these crooks that call themselves policemen. Hahahaha

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  108. Linda, dat is an interesting story ooooh,

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  109. *Yawns*.....

    FF on IG n twitter @Osirmah

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  110. Linda u sef, na old joke u dey carry give us, see how u paint d gist as if u been really dey there when d tin b happen. I heard this joke since 2years ago. Pls forward ever and backward never.

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  111. *yawns*.......pls Linda wen it's time to laugh pls wake me up *Snores *.lol

    FF on IG n Twitter @Osirmah

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  112. Lol.. Very funny.. Lmao

    Kindly visit effiezy.com for your latest gists

    effiezy.com/

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  113. Lol.. Very funny.. Lmao

    Kindly visit effiezy.com for your latest gists

    effiezy.com/

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  114. Lol for real this morning! Nigeria is somehow, but na we own. We love am; especially for stuff like this. And for all the young men in uniform like Uchenna just dying due to the wickedness of some monsters mistaken for men. They are dying to keep us safe, that we may crack jokes, and laugh. Let us just be nice to the next soldier, any soldier we see. Nice Sunday everyone.

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  115. u see he be wan chop u but u don finally chop am.yeye

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  116. Lol... Nigeria police una 2 funny oh.. LWKMD

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  117. very funny,its so good to give dis pple a little dose of their own medicine....:x

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  118. Linda u no kill person with laugh

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  119. Funny but it's originally from the comedian I Go Die

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  120. Hahaha jk hahham km!!! Police 👮 dey fear 😱 dog 🐶.

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  121. Lmaoooo...nigeria police men

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  122. Lmaooo...Nigerian police

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  123. U want 2 do sunday laugh like stella dimoko abi? U don lick celebrities ass finish? Na who no know u ..

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  124. Hilarious, but dis material was stolen from " I go die"

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    Replies
    1. She just said she is nt the writer!abi u nor sabi read?

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  125. So funny... good for the policeman

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  126. Hehehehehehehhe. U don spoy ekelebe hustle abi?

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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the comment writers alone and does not reflect or represent the views of Linda Ikeji.

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