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Thursday 13 November 2014

The unbiased truth about cheating...

Written by a LIB reader...enjoy!
The issue of cheating on a loved one is at its peak, hurting people is just criminal and kills them slowly, this time of the year is usually what I call cheating time because, one we are in a season of showoff all you have accomplished for the year, be you married, single or what ever class you belong.
The truth is that everyone must blame someone for the wrongs happening to them, but are we really looking at the right source? I would try and break it down as much as I can. The first gender I wanna tackle is the male gender, single and married.
The truth about cheating is that is a habit, and everyone knows habits are things you have done often over a long time, as a young single man, you found pleasure in going in and out of relationships because getting out was a cool way of avoiding the problems you encountered in your relationship, this ultimately meant you also kept sleeping with different women and hence you already picked up a habit, unknowingly!
Soon you began to do two or more relationships at once, instead of learning how to groom a relationship and cherish it, you schooled yourself on finding joy in screwing different women, soon you grew into a man who wanted a wife and kids which ultimately meant you wanted a home, but you have never succeeded in being with one woman or surviving hard times in a relationship, you didn't learn how effective communication could fix issues before they become serious problems, your way of getting over issues was being with someone else.
Getting married doesn't automatically change your habits. You should mould your character before Marriage. Now you are married, with a wife and kids, of course you have been cheating on her the minute she got pregnant or as soon she started to have stretch marks and added weight, she can't do all she used to do to rock your bed, because your focus as always been on sex, you no longer see any reason to communicate with her and tell her what u fink, BOTH OF YOU, can do to better your sex life.
You will rather resort to your usual way of doing things, "get on the next available flight leading to no where"
Your problem dear married randy men isn't your wife, your problem has been you, you have lacked character from a young age, you never had time to know what was required of you in a relationship, there is a thousand things to learn in a relationship, that's why you are allowed to date before you get married, you don't learn communication by jumping around, you don't learn how to be satisfied with what you have by not adding value to it, you don't learn to adapt to the changes that comes with what you have, if you never really spend time understanding how to adapt to the changes and maximize it, if you never been through a good change before, how do you find strength in going through a new one?
Forget the single girl out there, you made a vow to your wife! Fear God, be a man and keep it. if you are in a relationship, stay there! Make it work, learn, grow, don't jump around looking for the easy way out, because you will discover that over time you have not grown in intra-personal relationships. so when you get married tomorrow when your wife no longer has all the energy for your always eager manhood, you would give her your company rather than your absence, because the reason she lost her shape, her firm breast, the reason she is no longer as good as she used to be is all because of YOU. 
Secondly young men you must strive to fear God, no one likes to hear this part, there is a popular saying, it is hard to change from what you are used to doing, thou shall not commit fornication! It sounds difficult and silly but check out the adverse effect it would have on your tomorrow! If the woman you will get married to tomorrow is your first sexual encounter how would u then learn cheating at old age? How would you know that if your wife who is no longer a little girl who has sex with you all the time just to keep you, doesn't have such time anymore because she now has ALOT to take care of, that when she doesn't give it to you, there is a lazy girl out there waiting for a few thousands in exchange for her pride?
Men and young boys we seriously need to work on our character and relationship with God. We make women fight and hate themselves, because we are a not grown character wise, we make it look like these women are not good enough! You enjoy watching them fight over you? It isn't because you are special its because they don't really know who you are and what they should want! 
Fornication creates the habit of always wanting sex, sex creates the urge to always want to blind give so as to avoid any resistance from the woman, that habit gives birth to not having enough....that habit has given birth to who you are now! A RANDY SERIAL CHEATING GROWN KID!

109 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. So for this guy mind, na only men dey cheat? Women cheat too, maybe more than men! Look into the history of a no-good man and u'll probably find a no-good woman who turned him into the monster he has become.

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    2. Oh pls shut da fuck up! Yea women cheat too bt don't say women r responsible 4 turning some men into cheats. A dog will always b a dog! A leopard can neva change its spots. In as much as both genders cheat, men are worse. It's in their DNA! Ur dirty DiCks just can't stick 2 one pussy. So shut da fuck up!

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    3. Thank you 4 telling him. Nicely written. I love this author, we are creatures of habit.

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  2. Marriage and relationship has no proven formulae.
    But + God - satan = bliss.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

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  3. military recaptures Mubi, as boko haram flees. emeraldmadu.blogspot.com

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  4. was waiting for where you would include the people being cheated with. Married men cheat with married women atimes. Anyway that my own opinion.

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  5. Can atleast hear word for once here? Haba! Too much of everything is bad. Ok we have heard! Let dis be dis last post on dis issue joor. Getting boring. Ana ako shit!

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  6. Now that's the best post on this issue.. you nailed it bro

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    1. Wow!!! He/she nailed it. We re creatures of habit

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  7. Now that's the best post on this issue.. you nailed it bro

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  8. soooooo true.

    thumbs up for the true talk

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  9. soooooo true.

    thumbs up for the true talk

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  10. soooooo true.

    thumbs up for the true talk

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  11. Ok #bright bravo# 269beb21

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  12. a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
    .
    Kingsley leornard is a genious though.... Making sense write-up no doubt.....
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

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  13. Wow.. Nice one... But d single gals also need to play der part.. In saying no to d men... Just like d married woman said...May God help us..

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  14. And men takes the blame again! #SeunLondon

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    1. U always take d blame hun, bcos growin up no one eva told u it was wrong. The female child was told repeatedly but the male child wasnt.

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  15. Hmmmmmmm. I don't know what to say.

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  16. in fact, am glad and overwhelmed with your logical and thoughtful discovery of CHEATING habit secret. i discovery literally that it something you nurture and practice with the believe that "i will stop once am married'' it applied to both male and female, the most annoying of all is female who knows she is gotta guy but go round requesting & collecting money and values all in the name of his my friend when she can not give such. and you end up saying MEN ARE SERIAL CHEAT

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  17. Linda calm down, what about women? You lay too much emphasis on men cheating and forget to address women who also cheat in a relationship or when married

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  18. ...and this is the end

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  19. pls, Mr Writer where can I met u if u are still single. I HV not commented on this blog for a long time cos most of the things I read here are basically unreasonable. I keep wondering, if this is the kind of mentality a lot of people has now where are we going from here. There is no room for God. Everything is about flesh and how to satisfy our bodily desire and people go as far as quoting the bible to prove their points. I sincerely hope that people will learn from this piece.

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    1. Your grammar alone can chase somebody away abeg! Where can you met him? Really?

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  20. While you men are all talking about cheating cause your wife can't do this in bed or do that.

    When last did you try to please that wife of yours sexually. Stop being so self centered and thinking about just how to be sexually satisfy and check out 10 Sex Positions Women Love - EXPLICIT CONTENT (+20)

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  21. this is the smartest and most on point contributor so far. For heaven's sake, we women endure hard time, loss of job, pot belly etc too without cheating. when did it become a crime to grow old together? That sexy girl you are cheating on your wife witrh will someday turn to an old sisi, i have seen too many examples.

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  22. My2cent
    A 'zillion' likes. U ain't never lied.

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  23. Right on que. I wonder why men think their wives are the problem. Have they stopped to think about how special they treated her when they were dating? All of a sudden after the birth of the children, she is so fat she disgusts them. She doesn't know how to handle them in bed anymore. They are no longer compatible. Every single question is turned to a fight. They can only sleep with their wives when the girlfriends are not available. In future after you have groomed the family, they happily recieve the congratulations from all and sunder. Can you imagine a man that keeps quarrelling witj his wife over trivial issues and keeps his distance for 3mnths and upwards. If the wife complains they get unnecessarily aggressive. Can you imagine a husband not touching his wife for three years and because he is a man, its ok. If the tables were turned, can they take all the shit their loving wives take from them. My advice to wives, especially the ones with children, your children are your joy and God is your source of inspiration.

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    1. What about the wives who do all u've described? Deny him sex for months and fights over trivial things?

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  24. pls, Mr Writer where can I met u if u are still single. I HV not commented on this blog for a long time cos most of the things I read here are basically unreasonable. I keep wondering, if this is the kind of mentality a lot of people has now where are we going from here. There is no room for God. Everything is about flesh and how to satisfy our bodily desire and people go as far as quoting the bible to prove their points. I sincerely hope that people will learn from this piece.

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  25. this babe is so mean.. put all the blames on men. I guess she's a feminist

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  26. 'you didn't learn how effective communication could fix issues before they become serious problems, your way of getting over issues was being with someone else.'
    That describes my ex-hubby to a T. i was wife no 3,(he had divorced my predecessor before i met him). He is out there sifting through women for no 3 to-be.whoever he catches, i pity her.

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  27. Pretty sure this was written by a woman... Cos if u were a man u'd understand that cheating is not a "habit", it's something much deeper (and inexplicable... To women). I'm an engineer, and I've always had the irresistible urge to figure out how things work (or don't work)... My urges aren't limited to machines and buildings. I carried out a social survey (of sorts) while I was in college, cos I really did want to understand this "push" in us men to seek out other babes when we already have a queen we'd die for at home. I asked different guys of different races, background, religious affiliations, ages (16-37), and socio-economic standing one question. "If you had a girl you loved to death, would you step out on her if you knew she would never find out?"... Got a few "never!", some "I don't know"s, but an overwhelming number gave an embarrassed (some straightup outright) "yes".
    If you synthesize this response, you'd find you can't blame men cheating on things like religion, or upbringing, or even low moral character. Cos these are people that have differences in all those factors, but still converged on the same answer.
    Still haven't figured out what exactly the answer is... But I'm pretty sure it's not any of the above factors, least of all not "habit"

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    1. U have not made any point! Please do comment when you have figured out.....#.mscheeew#

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    2. Thank u, Olu!

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  28. this is so true, it all starts when we are not satisfied and take d pain of grooming a relationship. cheers

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  29. I agree with the writer. Being adulterous is totally individualistic. If you are God fearing and live according to the teachings of Christ, you will endeavor to keep the vows made on God's altar. Moreso, character is not something that changes overnight rather it changes with time. It is difficult but possible for a promiscuous youth(male or female) to change immediately after marriage.
    Like Mahatma Gandhi said “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
    ...that's all!

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  30. God bless the writer. I thank you for making yourself available to be used by God himself to spread this word across to married and single.... Enough is enough!!!

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  31. May the good Lord bless your heart.

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  32. wow wow wow a round of applause for this writer!

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  33. FINALLY!!!!! Someone tells the truth and nothing but the truth to men. But as usual, the foolish women aka men supporters club and the cheating men no go ever hear word. It must forever be the wife's fault

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  34. A million likes for ur write up. This is the best write up on this issue ever. God bless you for hitting the nail on the head... Men una don hear, let the fear of God rule your heart so we won't have to debate on this issue again.

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  35. GBAM! GBAMMER!! GBAMMEST!!! Everything about has to do with your personality and character. DISCIPLINE is very very important.

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  36. GBAM! GBAMMER!! GBAMMEST!!! Everything about has to do with your personality and character. DISCIPLINE is very very important.

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  37. women d worst...

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  38. I agree wif u..it's reali true,men tak cheating as a habit.too bad dou

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  39. Both gender cheat, so why referring to male alone. This make no sense to me. Make another write-up...

    BORN TO SHINE!!!

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    1. Ok fine!....draft a write up on women.....mscheèw.

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  40. Cheating is so wrong.

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  41. Nice advise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  42. While changes occur because women have a lot to think about but it is very important for a woman to know that you are a wife first and that is the basis of everything you have in your marriage. Women love activities and are quick to focus all their energy on their kids while making the husband feel like he is second fiddle to the kids sometimes. Men do not talk about this because when you try to explain that a gap is been created the excuse women give generally is based on daily activities like cooking for the family and taking care of the kids. Men do not always understand that thinking pattern because whether women believe it or not all he wants despite the love for his family is to be alone with his wife once in a while. Little things like putting the kids to sleep by the time he comes from work go a long way. Lastly, Men are affected by what they see so despite the execuse of loosing shape because of the kids you gave the guy, he is still a man. He wants to see your body as beautiful and trust me women can still retain their shape even if it does not look as perfect as it was before child birth through good nutrition and exercise so the excuse of understanding the excessive fat all over your body because you have kids does not really hold to him but this is not an excuse for a man to cheat

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    1. I have seen men with good, gorgeous agbani's but their third leg still wants to twerk it.....

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  43. Pure and direct......i love diz,lazy girl willing to exchange her pride for a few thousands

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  44. Your head dey there jare!!!!! Correct guy, you nailed it.

    All those freaks and irresponsible men and women giving excuses for their inexcusable behaviour, May the holy spirit do a work in their lives amen.

    Fear God oooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  45. Absolutely true

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  46. This is the best piece so far....whoever wrote this hit the nail right on the head..Let us learn to work on ourselves (male&female)

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  47. Case closed. U said it all. Abeg enough of all dis cheating matter Linda

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  48. Linda, I believe you have a point in the facts you presented here, but I think you should have done better with the presentation style & grammar so as to make it clearer for anyone reading it!

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  49. Yeah right! Only men cheat, women are saints, yet I have a married woman chasing me around in the office.
    You people are nuts! Thunder fire devil

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  50. ...the gospel!!! couldn't have said it better!

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  51. Tell them brother.....

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  52. biko who is this man, let me marry him! he is one of the few good men out there!!!!

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  53. Finally oo!!!! (inserts applause) Someone has finally nipped it in the bud. Dear Sir/Ma (whoever you are) may God bless you richly! May he increase ur wisdom. I have nothing else to say but GBAMEST!!!!

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  54. Interesting

    For makeup for all occasions add 7ae6798f

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  55. You dont learn to appreciate what younhave by not adding value to it

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  56. hi Linda. I hope this eventually makes it to becoming a post on your blog. so let's analyze the situation you people label as cheating. I choose to call it man natural wiring. take for instance you don't teach a baby how to suck milk out of their mothers breast, baby is wired by the creator on default mode to suck milk out of breast and so I think men are wired to have more than one partner. and hold up biko..before u religious fanatics start to tear your pants, let me give the facts. being a Christain myself I've decided to use my reasoning in judging certain cases. so let's get back to the point I'm trying to make if u read through 1Kings 11 He had seven hundred royal wives and three hundred concubines—a thousand women in all! and it wasn't recorded to him as sin. what was recorded as sin was him defiling God for an idol. Men are visual beings, a man is moved by what he sees, he doesn't know how or why it's just how he is wired and it's not a habit so it can't be unlearned. we often mistake moral standards for religious principles. if having one partner was such a sin why didn't the Bible state it or why wasn't it given to moses as a commandment? instead we were told not to fornicate, covet another mans wife or commit adultery. but if a man finds love in a woman, any woman let this man take her in as a wide and many as he can manage. sidechick is the 2014 name for concubines the wisest man that ever lived had them. the ability to desire more than a partner is something you find in all men, what if that's how we are suppose to live? because trust me the most determined man can't even help himself in such a situation. you said a man made for one woman because Paul said so. let me analyze Paul's persona for u. Paul is a religious fanatic, a highly moral individual fill with so much passion and determination. a modern day shaukau. it took Jesus himself to convert him. so if a man like that who himself didn't have a wife and tells u to take just one wife be sure you possess his level of discipline. however I rather let a monkey tell me about trees than a dog. so you do the compering SOLOMON OR PAUL who should advice about marriage.

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    1. God created a man and a woman not a man and women,get it!

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    2. Afor gi there....Some pple are just brainless. Because u think u know to write English... don't u know women's cuts were wired to have this sensation when they see or hear what they like? Stop looking for excuses do what is right and leave the wrong one....stop oke grammar, it does no good. Otunne gi there.

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  57. Whoever wrote this piece is the most realistic person in the world. Unbiased in every way. Well done.

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  58. Wow...am outta words u reali gr8....any guy dat reads ds witout changn is........let mi reserve my comment......well said....

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  59. This is def one of the best write up have read about cheating. The writer is so on point

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  60. Some people cheat to survive and it's a lucrative business to the hotels while some and like pastors just do it for fun.

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  61. This is the best post on this issue so far. Very sensible.

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  62. nice write up. what about the useless girls that open their legs for married men when they have a single faithful guy they are dating. because he doesn't have the type of money those married men has. what about the women who are in a serious relationship and still sleep around. i say this all boils down to the lack of the fear of God, because i don't understand how you can say you love someone and still allow another man/woman sleep with you. i keep asking what will be going through their minds at the time this things are happening and they'll still going back and look their loved ones in the eyes and say i love you. if you belong to this group, then you can kill.

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  63. Good advise.
    I agree with a lot of things in this column but doubt if cheating is a habit.
    Men should help their spouse attain the exact shape they want instead of cheat.

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  64. Women are enemies of women.we men are just cause of their down fall.if a man proposes to a lady,she can accept or not..if she doesn't,the man will not force himself on her..let me tell you a personal experience..when I was in part in the university,I met a fine beautiful,vibrant and intelligent young that I wished she could be mine..I ran after her for almost two years,she didn't accept my proposal..we can't force you to have relationship with us....we can only propose but acceptance is with you ladies.......so pls kindly stop blaming us for the atrocities commited by both of us....we are the givers while you are the receivers

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  65. Cheating doesn't have to do with gender. I guess the writer is just a feminist and has had various relationship problems. The question to be answer here: is what do you want from your relationship or marriage? This is life: deal with it or get out of it or cry over it.

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  66. nice piece dapepper001@gmail.com

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  67. Word! I think a man wrote this. And I feel the message is being passed across to me. Like it's actually meant for me. And it's obvious that the writer actually wrote from experience.

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  68. You have said it all #onelovefromSnow#

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  69. Good advice but it still our choice to make.God help us

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  70. As usual. Everything is a man's fault. Like married women don't cheat. A marriage is between two humans. Both of them shouldn't cheat. FULL STOP

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  71. This is a wonderful write up. Thumb up to the writer. Whether we like it or not, that is the whole truth and the truth is always bitter. Thanks for that wonderful piece.

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  72. @ Anon 4: 39, u said and I quote ,"if having (more than) one partner is such a sin, the bible would have state it or why wasnt it given to moses as a commandment?"

    There is a commandment that was given to Moses THOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY.
    How do you define adultery pls?

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  73. @all ye that know all, the only thing I am asking you is to from You is to accept also to allow your girlfriends, fiancées and wives to go out there and do as you do because every woman has got eyes to see and admire, has blood running in them to feel for another man much younger or richer and caring like the one she has with her, the women are not none-natural in their way of living, they were also naturally wired to understand better care, go for fresh sex and sweet love from men and also have their rights given to them in full, they also have the right to misbehave if the one leading her as the head is showing her the way to take lust from outside. The conclusion here is if you believe in promiscuity, just allow your other half to also indulge in it without either person being angry about another. In this case it will be called SHARING and UNDERSTANDING. It is NATURAL,right? Foolish set of you all alike commenting rubbish here on this beautiful post. FEAR GOD AND REPENT SO THAT YOU CAN BE WISE AND SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE.

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  74. First to comment

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  75. Elusive LIB, wonderful piece of advise. Nice write up.

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  76. I think this is all boring, in an honest equation, you love ur wife but her sex drive is down,you've only had sex 5times in d 18months since she gave birth, these r ur options- you can whank into ur hand or die with congi or you can find a discreet young lady who u look after and u can bang d brains out of....if ur smart and responsible enuff, ur family life won't be hurt and ur not sexually frustrated...life isn't perfect but you have to live it,make ur fam happi and make urself happi..have a great day

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  77. Nice one,bottom line is "say no to extra marital affairs"be faithful to ur spouse

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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the comment writers alone and does not reflect or represent the views of Linda Ikeji.

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