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Tuesday, 21 October 2014

Dear LIB readers: should I marry a man who had three kids with a woman and never married her?

From a female LIB reader
The man I am dating right now was with a woman for 17 years and had three children with her but they never married. He never even proposed to her. We met in April this year shortly after they separated and the reason they separated was because the woman gave him an ultimatum, either he married her or they were over. He chose to leave the relationship but now he wants to marry me. He wants us to have a wedding in December. I was okay with it at first until I received the longest e-mail I've ever read from his children's mother. She explained everything that went down between them and asked me to please reconsider marrying him. She sounded very heartbroken. Should I let him go to return to his family or should I do what he wants and marry him? I'm confused. I love him though but I've been feeling guilty since reading the letter.

307 comments:

  1. My dear, follow your heart..if you think you can live with it, fine..
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    LIB ALL THE WAY!

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  2. My dear, follow your heart..if you think you can live with it, fine..
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    LIB ALL THE WAY!

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  3. He's a coward and why will he have 3 kids with and woman he intends not to marry, that is wickedness!!! Just one kid can be overlooked not 3!!! My dear for the good of your future don't even consider marrying him, he should go and mend his broken existence...he's a big FOOL to leave a woman of 17years.

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  4. See ghobe,my dear why not sit him down and ask him why he really didn't marry d mother of his kids,after 17yrs??? Hmmmmmmmmmm

    #######LIB MY BADT HABIT#######

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  5. Seriously you just have to let him go.

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  6. You are very madtunu...u shld ask yourself 'If someone does that to me,how would i feel? Are you willing to live with the baggage this man has come with?

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  7. More to the whole matter after 3 children 17years been together n no marriage. What was d woman doing in d first place her family too did not say anything hummm more to it. Go and dig deep. God will see u thru but if am in ur shoes I won't marry him frankly n honestly speaking

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  8. I really do not believe in hurting people because of my desires. I advice u let him go. 17years is not 17days. place yourself in her shoes, even if u marry him now remember he already has 3children n u will have them to contend wit for d rest of your life. he may have rejected their mother but not them. after condemning d poor woman he wants to marry u. my dear, go n find your own man that man is a cow! excel

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  9. Men don't like to be give ultimatums. He may be rebeling against that by asking your hand. If that's it, he doesn't love u and may also leave u. Seventeen years and 3 kids after may also mean that the man isn't much into commitment. Be ware of him.

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  10. Well my advice to you is to follow your heart my dear, that he jilted his family for you means he loves you and wants you. Life always has it's way you know.

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  11. U are in love already so please stop disturbing us here joor.

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  12. Don't marry since you already have mixed feelings. The man get mind to leave a lady he dated for 17years with three kids. I wonder how lovely he can be to you if he cant endure the other lady.

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  13. Nne run for your life, after three kids? By d way if u marry d dude, what will u give birth to dat is new? Hermaphrodite I guess? You better run, d guy is heartless to even abandon his 3 children.

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  14. Don't marry him he will use you like the order woman

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  15. How do u expect to enjoy ur married life na? Letter you will come here and tell another story. Ha!

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  16. my dear marrying him is nt an option .Pls let go and ur real man will come in no distant time , if he left becos his baby mama asked for him to do wat is needed to be done, then u never know wat his capable of doing to u in d near future.

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  17. Nne cho way gi...! U deserves some better than that,biko rapu. Nwoke ji umu aka! You fit carry the load? If the other woman is your sister and another take that useless man away from her will you like it?

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  18. I really do not believe in hurting people because of my desires. I advice u let him go. 17years is not 17days. place yourself in her shoes, even if u marry him now remember he already has 3children n u will have them to contend wit for d rest of your life. he may have rejected their mother but not them. after condemning d poor woman he wants to marry u. my dear, go n find your own man that man is a cow! excel

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  19. Just follow ur heart, d fact it didnt work out wit d previous doesn't mean ur's will b same...

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  20. Home wrecker!
    If you 're the one he abandoned after 17 years and three kids together, how would you feel?

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  21. My dear let him go, 17yrs, 3kids??? This is serious. If he wants to marry you, why wouldnt he marry his childrens mum there? This is wickedness



    Glory

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  22. Home wrecker!
    If you 're the one he abandoned and fter 17 years and three kids together, how would you feel?

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  23. Share the long story with us 1st

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  24. Imagine some years into d future and ur daughter is in these same shoes.wat do u tink ur advice 2 her wil b?

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  25. Don't marry him because at later end it is gonna be a polygamous family. The man might change his mind one day and even mal treat you. The journey is not going to be good at all so my advise to you is that don't embark on it. Find someone else.

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  26. Don't! Let him go and set his house in order.

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  27. With all sense of respect and courtesy i believe you do not need to think twice than to let the man back to his family and get married to the mother of his children. I believe there are lots of great gentleman out there that you can start a good life with, please be smart and move ahead to a great life a great guy. Be blessed and God guide you.

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  28. Let him go biko....azu kalili na mmiri.

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  29. Hmmmm well 17years aint child's play and we don't even know why he never choosed to marry her.

    On the other hand,considering the kids,and the email she sent to you plus the guilt in you,maybe you should just let him be.dont be an hindrance to someone's happiness.

    Plus all the while you were dating him,am sure you were hoping he would propose.Were you not thinking of his family as well?if your conscience still exists and your guilt is working against it,then let it go

    Cheers

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  30. a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
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    If yu are clocking 35 marry him but if not then run and never look back....
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    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

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  31. I think the man is rich (eleyele1@yahoo.com)

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  32. The man is married,Just that he refused to make the marriage official

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  33. Obviously he doesn't want to marry his baby mama, please accept his proposal, you are the one for him.

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  34. If he is now ready to marry fine go ahead but take good care of those step children of his.

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  35. Why don't you leave him and let him go back to his responsibilities. Remember he has 3 kids with that woman, put yourself in that shoes and tell me how you feel. Better don't go into what you won't be able to end, choose wisely.

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  36. Use your brain girl and walkout asap. For 17yrs n 3kids he didn't marry her so is it honey that is in you or what? Weda he marries you or not when its time he will still send you away.

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  37. I'm also confused here but I'll advice u not 2 marrry him even if it hurts.....

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  38. YOU DEY CRAZE.....WHY YOU GO MARRY SUCH A MAN...YOU WAN PUT YOUSELF FOR TROUBLE EHN...YOU BETTER FACE FRONT GO FIND ANODA MAN SINGLE LIKE YOU...MAKE U ENJOY BETTER LIFE......TALKING FROM EXPERINCE SIS

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  39. Do not marry him. A man that can do that to another will surely do same to you. Believe me marriage is different from a relationship. FLEE

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  40. Do not marry him. A man that can do that to another will surely do same to you. Believe me marriage is different from a relationship. FLEE

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  41. I wonder what else you want to hear convince you that the said man will equally do the same to you however hard it might sound

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  42. Walk away now coz u ll never be happy wit him.ur own husband ll come.d man is a fool

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  43. Look before you leap lady. Love may turn to hate eventually...don't marry him.

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  44. do it nothing under dis world is new if e has cash GET the latest techs via naijafapper.com

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  45. You want to put yourself into biggest trouble of your life if you agreed to marry him. Stay With a woman for 17 years with kinds without doing the need full to married her is very ridiculous. Kindly stay action.

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  46. Ori e kope, ole

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  47. I don't like the idea, not my thing

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  48. Dont marry him rather advise him to go back the mother of his children. Because u will not enjoy the marriage if reject the truth and marry the man.

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  49. Of course not!!! He is not a responsible man. Berra flee!!

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  50. I just tot of it now ur very very stupid how could you consider marrying him in the first place, plz respect ur stupid self and get out of his life. Gold digger

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  51. He'll never love her if he couldn't love her in 20 years. Beware of the baby mama drama. She's still possessive towards the man if she's trying to keep him without his consent by guilt tripping you into "returning" him. That's your real trouble. If I were you I'd date him for a few years to ensure you're not his rebound chick. If he's still professing love and marriage after that period, marry him.

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  52. Hmmmmmm ! who will marry that one he is dumping ? He will one day dump you too and go for another woman if you eventually marry him on pity

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  53. Bet y? Why would u wanna walk down the aisle with such a man? Its glaring you would be used over time and dump eventually! Marrying a man doesnt secure your happiness. You need to think bout ur future and that of your kids to come

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  54. Share d email so we can see from here point. 2ndly how old are u? 3rdly can u handle polygamy? 4thly that dude is not responsible and could be old. If u hv delay in child birth he will leave u and go marry d other woman. He choose to leave d kids nko? My sister becareful

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  55. You should have given a brief info as to what the other woman said in the message. Anyway, you can give it a shot but truth is, don't expect him to be any different. Look at Lamar Odom, Teebillz... khloe and Tiwa didn't listen but did their marriages last? NO! So marry him but don't expect miracles. He is the same man the other woman was with for 17years. Cheers!!!

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  56. Love superceed everything and closeness to God perfect relation. I ve a similar problrm but i can overcome it, my white girl friend is pregnant, she has 3 kids from different fatthers and she has a gut heart. I want to overcome the African thinking of second hand wife and get married to her.

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  57. U dey craze. If na u nko? After him marry u finish, he will still dump u for real. Relationship is about commitment not feelings.

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  58. Let him go back to his family.....do not let the wrath of a heartbroken mother come on you.

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  59. My sister baby mama drama is not a joke ,beside this whole thing sounds supecious to me but be very prayerful

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  60. It's complicated, I can't think right now
    Ask me later...

    BORN TO SHINE!!!

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  61. He wil dump you for another woman,just allow him go back to his children.

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  62. U shldnt feel guilty, u re nt d reason they broke up nd d woman should tk responsibility 4 her actions 4 stayn wth hm 4 17yrs, 3 children wth no marriage. As 4 u ask urself if wht kind of a man screws a woman 4 17yrs, hd kids wth her nd wnt marry her, re u ready to be the mother of 3 kids, nd wht re u going 2 gv birth 2 dts so special. Smtmes it tks more thn love to build a marriage.

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  63. Leave him alone...

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  64. Abeg free the guy, he is bad business. Otherwise that woman and her kids will always be a thorn in your flesh, or go ahead if you dont mind that

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  65. does his name happen to be Toju? if yes....

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  66. Let the man go. Do you not deserve better? Too many men out there

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  67. Does his name happen to be Toju? If yes. ...

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  68. As long as u feel guilty about it, Let him go so that you can live your life in peace

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  69. Madam. I am a man, and will advice you against marrying that man. How can one be with somebody for 17 years and chose to opt out simply because the woman, told him, to chose btw their living together and the alter. He leaves and want to marry another immediately! If all what the woman said is true, then it is laughable, pathetic and very immature of a man that should be in his 40s.

    Please put yourself in that woman's shoe before taking any decision.

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  71. You better don't marry that man! That's not your husband. Your case is even better, at least you know of the existence of the other woman. My mother wasn't that fortunate as dad hid his own well. Why will a man be with a woman for 17 years and have 3 kids and not want to marry her? And that's the kinda man you want to marry? You better run with your sanity intact.

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  72. Don't even try it o as in don't marry him, he will also break your heart, he should marry his babies mama.

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  73. You better dont marry him,let me borrow you a proverb that we yoruba ppl say "Pasan ti won fi na iyale na,ni won ma fi na iyawo' meaning "the rod used on the first wife is wat will be used on the second" which tells you that a man who can treat a fellow woman like that will somewhat manifest the same character ,dont be deceived,he probably told her the same things too,for her to be comfortable bearing quite a number of kids for him..so many deceits and promises must have gone down.Do not be deceived,hear the voice of the Lord!

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  74. Hi dear,

    please let him go. I believe he is only using u to spite the other woman. three children! 17 years! it is not funny, the other woman will show u her true color if u go ahead. pls move on, God will give u a better man who is baggage free. pls put urself in the other woman's shoes. I pray that God will give u d strenght u need. Best regards.

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  75. Are you crazy? Haaa, run!!!!!! There is fire on the mountain, run run run. It would never ever work. I know too many examples. You would be so miserable. The children would make life miserable for you. You would be scorned as husband snatcher, your family would be laughed at as gold diggers. God forbid. Don't try it dear. Love ke? After love, reality of life sets in, then what? He can't deny his children and their mother........Please your own husband would come

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  76. Pls wear ur boots n run 440

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  77. No..NO...a Big NO..i repeat NO!!!
    If u dare it,u'l neva know peace n happiness in dt marriage...I've warned u

    Pls visit my blog

    Chinwenmeri.blogspot.com

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  78. Reconcile him to hs family an go on wif ur life God will grant u ur heart desires

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  79. He was with a woman for 17 solid years without marrying her chai dats wickedness of highest order and u want to marry him I pity ur condition o cos u might regret dis action u wanna take its better u rethink and reconsider moving on wit ur life

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  80. Just ask ur self, wat happen to dem after 17 yrs, wat happen after 3 kids, dat he didn't found her worthy to be his wife, and dat is u dat is d most worthy for him? Think girl!!! Use ur head...

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  81. Please let Him go! Imagine if You were in that woman's shoes! 17yrs, 3 kids? Girl run, He must be heartless!

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  82. Honestly, don't. Its d wrong thing to do, and u'll regret soon after u get married to him. He is truly an a***ole

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  83. You dey mad? Not one child, three? Omo take off. No question

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  84. Just pray about it.....

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  85. He should return to his f as family. Don't go on with the Wedding. You may regret it. The man is even heartless

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  86. It is u that will know weda to marry him or not because will are not going to leave with him is u!many people are doing it buh for me is no no for me.

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  87. my dear.. from what ur saying.. this man doesnt seem soo bad.. he may have had 3 children with a woman .. but mayb she wasnt the one and thats y he ddnt marry her 17 years later.. it is very weird tho.. but u can never underestimate the power of love.. that is unless u have bags of money that we dont knw about... but other than that.. the fact that he chose to marry u shows that he isnt just playing around.. think about it.. he dated th same woman for 17 years.. suure mayb he ddnt marry her.. but be grateful that the 3 children have the same mother...that shows that he was committed.. and him not marrying was jst mayb because she wasnt the one

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  88. Leave d man to go back to his family,put urself in d other woman's shoes.how wld u feel.do unto others as u wld like them to do unto u.a thousand and one good men out there for u to pick from,leave this one with his bags and baggage.

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  89. Follow your heart. Pray over the matter.

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  90. A beg leave another woman's husband alone.

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  91. Hmm! God will help you to make the right decision. How old are you that you can't get a man of your own age to settle with and start together. Better don't rush in and rush out. No amount of love you give to those kids,they will always stand and fight for their mum.

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  92. I dnt thnk u shld rush into dis marriage.. Ow is he wit his kids?? if he walks away from a woman who has given him 3kids, witout a reason... Thnk abt wah he ll do to u. En we all knw ow hard it is for pple to keep to d marital vows dese days. Jst take ur tym, dnt claim Love en b a victim. Love won't want dat 4u.

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  93. R u mad??? Was d 1st thing i thought bout while reading ur narrative *dt wasn't intended 2b an insult tho*...bt den a man dt just packs up n leaves a marriage abi relationship after 17yrs wv 3kids den I'm sorry 2say dt man ain't worth it...u berra not marry him

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  94. U better leave that man n move on with ur life.

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  95. Hmmmmmmmm if d lady warn u stay away,pls stay away.

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  96. If I were you, I will not go on with the marriage, bcos he has children with anoda woman, let him reconsider with the mother of his children, if not for anything, for the sake of those children and for the sake of God.

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  97. Linda please post this: Miss please don't marry him! I know one should not always judge a situation from a past experience, but please really reconsider marrying this man. Why did he let it go that far? Why 3 kids? If he were to be widowed or divorced, it will be understandable. If it were to be from diff. Baby Mamas, maybe it would have been understood too. I say this to you because I know a lady who was in this situation and it was not a beautiful experience for her. She was never happy after marrying him. Please pray seriously about this and love with your eyes open!

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  98. You shouldn't enter every door that is opened. In that respect, you shouldn't marry him. Not only that, explain to him to go back to his baby mama. You will find your own blessings.

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  99. Run for your dear life or the woman will kill you herself.... Shikena

    Live from Trinidad...

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  100. If I were you, I will not go on with the marriage, bcos he has children with anoda woman, let him reconsider with the mother of his children, if not for anything, for the sake of those children and for the sake of God.

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  101. Ma dear! Even if u leave him,he might not go bk to Dat woman.mayb he has seen sth in u dt made him to propose to u.d oda woman made d mistake by having kids for him.she chose to suffer,buh if u know dt hes d type u cld actually get married to,go on girl..

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  102. My dear let him go you deceive better becos he will try to ruin your life like the other woman.Plus 3kids is a lot and with them you start having issue with that and you know a man kids always comes first expect you use juju that we backfire one day.

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  103. This sounds like a story line between Val and Quin from Single Ladies!... but we all know hw that went down!



    ...
    JO

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  104. My dear let him go you deceive better becos he will try to ruin your life like the other woman.Plus 3kids is a lot and with them you start having issue with that and you know a man kids always comes first expect you use juju that we backfire one day.

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  105. Approach him about that letter, talk to him know if the he agrees with the contents of that letter. The fact that he has been with someone else and had kids doesn't mean that it can't workout between the both of you. If he treats you right and you love him then i think you already have all that matters. But talk to him about the letter and from he's reaction you should be able to judge more. Remember he was given an ultimatum and that might be the reason he opted out of the relationship, but what you guys have is different cos he is that one that is asking you now. If your heart loves him and it feels right to you and you are absolutely sure about your feeling for him then I think you should carry on... but at the end its still all your choice. Check out www.askralph.blogspot for more situations like this, its my blog

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  106. My dear let him go you deceive better becos he will try to ruin your life like the other woman.Plus 3kids is a lot and with them you start having issue with that and you know a man kids always comes first expect you use juju that we backfire one day.

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  107. U r a woman,in your innermost self you know the right thing to do.

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  108. If he didn't marry her for genuine reasons. There is nothing new under the sun, celeb don marry celeb wiv 2/3kids frm a woman n they v married

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  109. Ma dear.....u don't ve to marry such man... 17yrs with 3kids is no joke.

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  110. it is always about men,men,and men. Linda,are you turning this blog into a feminist forum? Or you think you don't need male libers?pls don't put us off. Andy

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  111. what does your heart tell you? follow your heart

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  112. awww.. swthrt lv hm to go bck to hs family.. Else u l foreva hv dt guilt in u n d marriage will b in shambles. put ur self in d woman's shoes n Evn in hs children's shoes

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  113. Three kids is too much for u to steal him away frm d other woman,let him go. Your own husband will locate u soon in jesus name.

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  114. I will not write as it is in my mind cos u will not sleep for 7days but I will only tell u to luk else where,what is it u ladies enjoy in marrying a married man,whatsoeveer u sow that u MUST reap.

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  115. That Guy deserves to be nailed!

    Pls do not marry him cos he dose not deserve you. Let him go back to his family nor remain single forever

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  116. Babe,run 4 ya dear life.dat man is wicked oo.17 yrs isnt 17mnths oo.d tears of d woman can affect ur marriage.He mt marry u nd leave u 4 anoda fresh grl afta 20yrs oo.For d sake of d children,dont marry him.Ok,jst put urslf in d woman's shoes.
    #NAZZYLICIOUS

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  117. How did she get ur email address?

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  118. U r a woman,in your innermost self you know the right thing to do.

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  119. Why would u marry someone like dat...are there no single men anymore...? it's better to stay single than being entangled to an evil man for life..

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  120. Leave him and move on, the drama will be too much for you to handle, trust me. Also, the man is not a good person, living with someone for 17 years and 3 kids later, he abandons her. He will just do same to you even after marrying you, be wise!

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  121. Dont do what he wants or what she wants...do what you want after you have heard what God has to say. Sometimes we believe we dont have to consult God before making any decisions but it is not true,involving God sheds more light on the path you should go.
    At the end of the day,you made your decision...by the way, how did she get your mail address?

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  122. Ask Ciara . U deserve better leave love use ur head .

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  123. He is the most Irresponsible man...and you had better not make a terrible mistake you may leave to regret it's just not worth it....
    let him go and take proper responsibility for the family he created over 17 years. You really don't need all that. God bless you.

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  124. You better run for your life before you fall into a deep pit.


    Your comment will be visible after approval

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  125. Let him go to his family

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  126. One thing I can say from all this is that that man is very irresponsible. I'm so sure he would dump u by d way too.

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  127. Let him go to his family

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  128. I feel the pain of the mother of three,its really not easy but the truth is if you leave the man that won't make him marry his baby mama. Men know who they will Marry and for him to spend 17years with his baby mama and even have 3kids with her and still didn't marry her I doubt if he will ever marry her. So leaving him may not make him go back to his baby mama. My opinion.

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  129. My dear experience is d best teacher so u ve 2 options 1 marry him & find out 4 urself or leave & save urself d stress & heart ache. Choose any. Hope I helped. Just wakaring pass oooo

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  130. Gurl better put on ur running shoes o. Hah anything dt woman sayz against dt man will follow him. N affects u in dey longrun o. Be wise o. But she too really risked it o, 17yrs Nawa o

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  131. The man left a woman after 17 whole years and three kids... shouldn't that give you an idea as to the kind of person that he is? he is a very WICKED person, you don't need a soothsayer to tell you that. But then again, it's your choice to decide if you want to live with that kind of person or not. Goodluck!

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  132. Are u asking? Really? Please reconsider ur stand. What's the point of marrying a man who lived with another woman for 17years and didn't marry her. Dear, be sure he'll do the same to you. Once he's tired, he'll leave u for another woman. Ask for God's guidance and open your eyes very well! #shikena

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  133. The choice is yours, marry him if you love him. Please visit my blog www.alabekee.blogspot.com

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  134. Biko don't marry such a man. He should go back to his 'babies' mama and do the ryt thing. What ws he doing with her for 17 long yrs btw??!!! Rehearsing??

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  135. Is the woman he had 3 kids still alife? Why did he not marry the woman?

    Sincerely, it is only when you deeply answer those questions that you can now think of the next step: WHY DID HE NOT MARRY HER?

    But if someone can find a woman "pleasurable" to have 3 children with her and those years of "child bearing" did not consider her a wife material, I WON'T ADVISE YOU STAKE YOUR LIFE WITH SUCH A FELLOW.

    But, you need to go into the matter. PLEASE, GO FOR SPIRITUAL DIRECTION

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  136. Ask Annie Idibia. Bye!

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  137. DO NOT..........................................................................

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  138. good but tough question.. sorry cant help you.

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  139. I was okay with it at first until I received the longest e-mail I've ever read from his 'CHILDRENS MOTHER'.
    Ode! you dont want to use the word 'HIS WIFE' abi.
    Or you want libers to tell you 'since he hasnt married her go ahead and marry him'
    Abegi! leave second hand husband alone,its obvious the man is boxed-up.
    some women and greed though.
    Telling libers you love him, love gba kwa okun! abeg shift

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  140. U already know the answer to your question.

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  141. Y not?......follow Mrs. Idibias footstepsssssssss...lol

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  142. After 17years? Just few months later he wants to get married? How do people think? He had a family already. ...married or not. He aint marrying you for love...

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  143. Please biko nu leave the man and let him go back to his family

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  144. Pls let him return 2 d mother of his kids..If he didn't marry her after 17yrs with 3kids, dear he'll surely abandon u in d future... #Zojie'sluv#

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  145. It feels good to be in love bt in ur own case. I think the wrong one is loving u right. Be careful.. I wonder the kind of children. U are going to give him, he never had be wise, girl. No time

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  146. Seriously, I don't know what u will do, are you old? If u r a young lady, just look for som1 else before going into some family drama. But there is a reason they aren't married. Just b prayerful. And u didn't say Wats in d letter....

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  147. If you want peace,let the man return to his family,and u shld architect that.The man must be a mean human being and u won't be happy in that home.dont forget,all these I love u I love u epistle will end,and he will prolly leave u for another woman.Be wise...Kiks

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  148. @ Linda, please tell Ur reader that she will forever be trapped in a love triangle!
    "Pasan ti a fi naa Yale, o n be l'ori aja fun yawo" literal meaning is that "the whip used by the hubby to beat the senior wife is on the roof for the younger wife!"
    Figure this Yoruba adage out Urself as U r not any better than that woman who was with him for a decade + 7years! He's not a loyalist & will go for another woman when he's done with U. Urs may not even be up to that number of years! Let him go & await Urs patiently seeking God's face, darling...
    My parting shot to U is "Only a fool cuts off his face inspite of his face!"
    #Think!

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  149. you re the last fools if u did marry him. whats special about u, you think d other woman no get???? i dey vex with dis ur yeye questns.

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  150. Let him go back to his family if u dont want to Face the wrath of God

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  151. pls my dear don't marry him. the same broom that swept the first one will be used on u too. use ur head. b'cos if u ask me, name who I go ask!!!!

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  152. It's ok baby! Just take a look at Khloe and Lamar's marriage and do what is right. It's same scenario Muuuaaah :*

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  153. Don't marry him. I can't get men who live with a woman, have sex with her, have children with her and still claim they can't marry her because she's not the right woman.
    I consider such men a little less than animals-because some animals mate for life.

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  154. My dear, the man does not Live u. He's incapable of love coz how can a man leave a woman he gas been with fir 17yrs with three kids! That man is wicked! As long as women don't stand for what is right men will continue to behave this way.

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  155. ibu nnukwu onuku transaltion: u"re a big mumu...go marry am na, ode. The questions people ask though & you want to enter marriage with this your kindergarten brain....olodo

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  156. Why fish on troubled waters when there are single and eligible bachelors?.Its a no no for me.advice :close the deal and look elsewhere

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  157. It sounds u already know wat to do....

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  158. Naaaa, marry him not!! Ça va? If u do, u'll never 'have' him, he's gonna go back to d first woman after making u miserable by comparing u with her day & night. I'm talking from experience!! Ça va?

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  159. After 3kids?pls hv a re-think,wat goes around cums around.wat makes u tink u can't hv a single guy of ur own.pls let go.

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  160. My dear, this man is unstable as water. Run away!!!he would probabbly divorce you in 17years time. With three kids again, why not look for your contemporary to marry. You need to be guided by God's word and will b4 u make lifetime decisions such as marriage

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  161. My dear sister in my own opinion...do not marry this man...after 17years with woman and 3kids..just because she ask him to do the right...he left her such a wicked and foolish idiot animal...if it were to be his daughter how will he feel...well is up to u marry him and face the consequense...u have to put urself in this woman's shoe?????

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  162. pls don't marry him,u wil b saddddd all ur life

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  163. Well it depends. First I think the man must have his reasons for not marrying her even after 17yrs of been together, he must have gone thru hell from the woman i suppose. But if you truly love him and he's good to you put it before God. But don't say you want to leave him because of the disturbing letter you got from the woman, she shouldn't even av done that in the first place.

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  164. Annie I thot you already accepted Tuface's proposal????

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  165. No!!!

    Don't marry him, he is a useless and heartless man.

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  166. Let him go, he is a heartless man only God knows what he would do to you later on. Let him go do not get your self into his mess, you would then be competing with his 3kids and baby mama, that's his mess let him deal with it, run now and get your self a baggage free man.

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  167. Just follow your mind and woman plz don't do what you will regret later...you've be feeling guilty so u jst need to walk away ##W.G##

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  168. My dear,he stayed with his ex for 17yrs no marriage or ring and now he says he wants to marry you,i dont trust him,try and study him well.

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  169. You obviously know the right thing to do. He is a user and doesn't even really care about his kids. you will have children with this man and one day you will be amazed at how disconnected he is from you and your kids. listen to all the stories of women complaining about men who don't care for them and the kids. you are lucky you know now. Not easy but runnnn

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  170. PLEASE LEAVE HIM FOR THE SAKE OF THE WOMAN AND HER CHILDREN. NO ONE WILL WANT TO MARRY HER NOW

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  171. Please leave the idiot, what's wrong with his baby mama giving him an ultimatum after 17yrs and 3 kids, he is just pure heartless and all of a sudden he wants to get married, mscheww men sha

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  172. Please, I beg you. Do the right thing. That man must have a very wicked heart. please listen to your conscience and leave him

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  173. Follow your heart madam. Its a complicated one. Linda when are you marrying?

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  174. pls my dear let him go. Ur rightful partner is comin

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  175. Hmmmmmm,2 me sha,dnt marry him cos I c problems in future

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  176. My friend leave someone's husband biko

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  177. THIS IS WHAT I CALL THE AUDACITY OF HOPE.....WHEN A WOMAN KEEPS HAVING CHILDREN FOR A MAN WITH THE """"HOPE""" ...THEY WOULD GET MARRIED....

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  178. U already know d answer 2 that. It's u n ur conscience. Selah

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  179. Wow, some men sha.....why abandon his ex with whom he has 3 kids. So the woman is not good enough to be made a wife, but kept as a baby making factory. In my opinion, I don't think he's worth the stress. Such a man can't be trusted. Wedding is only a one-day affair, but marriage is for the rest of your life. When it comes to marriage, sometimes, luv is not enough. Don't suffer for his past mistakes. Tell him to go sort things out with his ex pls. Be patient, ur real man will come.

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  180. Y do u choose 2 marry someone who was married b4? He propose or not marriage is a marriage as far as dey is children between dem. My sister u beta leave dat man n tink of life wit anoda man cos dat man will do d same tin he did 2 d Oda woman. Tnx

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  181. Please honey, leave that man alone. why do you want to carry a burden you can see ahead of time? its now he knows he wants to marry someone else after having 3 kids with another woman. for your peace of mind, take a walk.

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  182. My dear,pls dnt deny d children d joy of a family,plus I dnt no abt u but dat man of urs is irresponsible very irresponsible n selfish.how can u b wit a woman for 17yrs n nt want to marry her buh ve kids wit her,dats WiCKED.plus believe it or nt u wld always b d oda woman.she wld always b his woman.such man can leave u for some1 else wen ever u make any demands.He ll always b dear for her,so take a walk.

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  183. Pls let him go for your own good

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  184. u most be a fool 2 marry him, he cain that is used for d 1st wife is waiting for d 2nd wife, be wise is a word 2 a wise person

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  185. MARRY HIM IF YOU LOVE HIM BUT BE READY FOR A VERY DRAMATIC MARRIAGE...

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  186. Sweetheart,

    A yoruba adage says: the cane used to beat the first wife is on the roof for the new wife

    We are talking 3 children and 17 years. I strongly suggest that you unlove him and move ahead.

    Cheers

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  187. Men keeps winning....don't do dat to your fellow woman. U re about to marry a very selfish heart breaker

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  188. What to do? I'd say RUN RUN. He doesn't smell too good. 17yrs living with a woman and banged 3 kids outta her and yet never conceded to making an honorable lady outta her? What the heck! So what's the yarn he's been spinning you he will be doing different with you? He tells you I guess that you are so different from his live in big well? That only a woman like you can make him do the honorable? My dear, go find someone else jor. No waste ya time, no road dey dia

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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the comment writers alone and does not reflect or represent the views of Linda Ikeji.

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