I have a serious matter at hand that I want to share. In fact, I should have shared this long ago, but the primary message from a friend that prompted the matter, was lost in between the series of inbox messages from those strange girls that are looking for romantic friendships on Facebook.
In a nutshell, a lady friend sent me an inbox message on how it's harder to find a good man in Nigeria. And that the men who are "manageable" (her words, not mine) are so scarce and if you ever get them they are either married to a lady that does not deserve them or just repenting from a bad marriage from one of such women. Or even just lost faith in the whole marriage thing. Continue...I later ran into her at a club. After the usual introductions that have become common place with these social media network of friends... (You are my friend on twitter, Facebook, Tango, INSTAGRAM... That kind of thing).... I chatted with her a bit and found out from what she told me, that, many women are now settling for anything in between MR Right, MR Not just ok and MR Nearly right. As she put it, it's now a case of looking at what a guy checks out in the top 10 box... And if he has 3 out of 10, snap him up... Work on the rest 7, if you are lucky, you can get him to add 3 more of those top10 qualities... And begin to pray it lasts for as long as you both can manage.
Much as I tried, to get her to rate me, she said, she can only rate someone who is on her radar. So ladies have relationship radar? Yes of course. You think you were not in Mary's radar, and she waited for you to come back after you... ? Ouch!!! (That was my guy who was listening in on our private conversation) I wasn't on Mary's radar.... I managed to mutter. Then she fooled you wellllll. She quickly added.
It got me thinking... What does a man need to show to get on any woman's radar? Money, sense of humor, fame, dress sense, good job, intelligence, good diction, good physique, some visible signs of affluence, confidence,... She let me continue for a while, raised her glass of Henessy VSOP, downed it, and said, "He must first be AVAILABLE. Then you can begin to check out the rest." So I asked, do I look available? She said, "Of course, to the people who do not care if you are married, you are very available! Not to me, OOO. Mary was my boss at Platinum. So that strikes you out." So I asked the next possible question, "so what can I do to look unavailable?" There is nothing. You are even an easy pick. She added. Any man who has a source of income, popular, dresses well, tall, handsome small sef, has a car, is in the circles of successful people, looks like he has potentials to become somebody important and can pay the bills...
Our conversation started having K-leg when she lit a cigar, not cigarette, Cuban cigar and started smoking. I took a good look at her, and realized that, these women who are looking for a MR Right all over Lagos, may just have met him but he is also looking for a woman who doesn't drink alcohol or smoke anything at all. That is the wahala. As you are looking for MR right, he might be dodging you because you are all shades of wrong...
While you are looking waiting for a guy to walk in and fit into your radar, you are doing some things that also confine you to the "never my type" hemisphere...
So, in conclusion, just as good men are hard to find, "manageable" ladies are unicorns!!!!
What is GOOSE for Uganda... Is GOOD for PERU
Over to u sisi Linda.
ReplyDeleteAli ... Love you bro but pls shut up Cos you with all your concubines are in no position to talk about Marriage ... Oh by the way drinking Henessy and smoking cigars is not a character flaw...
DeleteThere's no such thing as a no-good woman cos a no-good woman is made no-good by a no-good man...R. Kelly
DeleteMY MRS RIGHT WILL BE A LADY WHO DOESN'T MIND ME TYING MY LEGS EVERY NIGHT AND PRETENDING TO BE A MERMAID.
ReplyDeleteI KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE BOO. I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU.
Lmao... Guy you are so funny and mischievous... Nice one
DeleteHahahahahahaha. Mad guy. I love u already but in case we need to wake up and run at night, no time to untie you oo. I'll just get the kids and go. By the way, if u are attacked in the dream, u wont be able to escape. The consequences are too much.
DeleteThis one is possess ni ooo
DeleteCan't help but laugh hard...blog comments are the best!
DeleteIt's really great to be able to comment on this blog after a while....miss being here!
Nice writeup @Alibaba
ReplyDeleteGreed and foolishness plus I wanna belong are the major reasons y most naija girl can't get a real man . Almost all these girls liv a fake life and a correct man can dictect from afar . He will just chop and liv , naija girls are desperate and Neva contented with what they hv . They can fuck anything for money
ReplyDelete@Anon 11:22 PM. A thousand likes. You couldn't have said it better.
DeleteChai
DeleteI concurr and in addition to this some listen to too much advise from friends.
DeleteI believe my dear
DeleteI cant agree less.Alibaba,you are point.
ReplyDelete"What is GOOSE for Uganda... Is GOOD for PERU"...so funny
Ehhh go to the village and find your HIV virgins now ...ewu Gambia
DeleteHmmmmmmm! Alibaba Is at it again, his write-ups are always a Gbam!
ReplyDeleteYour comment will be visible after approval
Plzz somebody should give Alibaba one Stout there!
ReplyDeleteYou hit the nail on the head,you couldn't have said it better.
Sometimes they feel they're the only ones that sets standards,you want a man that can love you for who you are, when you lack all the qualities deserving a good woman. Sister who are you?
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA
Lmao!!! @ the last part! "sister who are you?"
DeleteLol!
DeleteThis man get sense die
ReplyDeleteYou smoke, drink, party hard, have weird tattoos & you are looking for the right man, then u are on the long thing. You are not even on the list, you're out of the list
BORN TO SHINE!!!
Fools so go to Gambia and marry virgins now.... Idiots !!! Smoking cigars , and drinking Henessy ... I repeat is not a character flaw!!!! It means I am a farm land waiting to be cultivated by Mr Right and that is the essence of marriage. To make me presentable to God like Christ will present the church as His bride .... So to the man will work on his wife and cultivate her ... But Mba stupid men want to sleep with all the women then go and find virgin to marry!!! Sorry guys even the local virgins are tasting the goods early and don't want to be left behind so Ali park well well.
DeletePls shut up abeg! Its nt only cultivate u. Dnt give ur life direction yh, be waitn for man to come nd do it for u..nonsense!
DeleteFool.... Drinking Henessy and smoking cigar does not mean my like does not have direction ... In fact it might mean that I am celebrating myself ... But if the man if my life comes and does not like it he can cultivate me and show me other ways to celebrate my direction. !!!! Fools ....
DeleteIf you want to be cultivated....go to church cos i am busy making the money to spend on my wife material......probabaly when you are cultivated. ....holla. if its not late.
DeleteLove the concluding parts. You are right about everything though. The world has changed, so many people(men especially) re so afraid to be committed. I can understand why cos my uncle is a victim of a bad marriage, has a wife who sleeps around which makes me wish he was not married or probably married at a later stage, he wud ve probably met someone diff. I just wish the world would be a better place where we can just easily trust and love. Linda pls post my comment
ReplyDeletehahahahaha Alibaba dis is not a joke ooh is a moral teaching
ReplyDeleteYou are very much right Bro Kudos 4 u , Hellooeeii, Ladies , you want a perfect Man, then you must be a perfect woman 4 the MR RIGHT.
ReplyDelete*#*.VENNY'S CLASSIC.*#*
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Making sense post no doubt.....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
This reminds me of the words of my Pastor that "a woman is coming to a relationship with chisel and hammer to make the man the man of her dreams but she forgets that the man also is coming with his own chisel and hammer to make her his kind of woman".
ReplyDeleteCrazily funny... hard truth, can't stop laughing.
DeleteYou are very right no matter how truth-hurt it may sound, I no easy God helep us.
DeleteLet me say it like i mean it in Wendy Williams voice, Nigerian guys are BAD news!!! Bark under my comment i won't come back and read so…From the ladies i know who made the mistake of marrying them, they are the WORST men in the world to marry. If you all don't like my comment go hug wet transformer..Even this Ali Baba and the 40 thieves wen dey talk, ask him what he did to his first wife! Anuofia! Who was he before Patricia?
ReplyDelete@apple. Just like your father who is bad news to your mother.
DeleteI can almost touch your frustration but cut Alibaba some slack. Not every man that goes through you must marry you. Cursing Nigerian men will not make you any way better off. Weep not, child.
DeleteI can almost touch your frustration but cut Alibaba some slack. Not every man that goes through you must marry you. Cursing Nigerian men will not make you any way better off. Weep not, child.
DeleteYou abuse the word "ignorant" what is with the stereotyping? From your comment it is either your dad is a monster or the several men you've met or married are hideous animals... Check yourself babe, maybe you have a spiritual problem that attract demon infested guys to you... Yeye dey smell..Fyi... Bad husbands are everywhere, every country and race... Mumunu
DeleteHis 1st wife got served with karma. She left her boo who loved her so much and tried his best to satisfy her only for her to c Ali baba and she just dumped the guy( naija ladies style) if u commit to a man and he decided to luv u truly and u end up fucking him up , karma will destroy u only if u search for him and ask for forgiveness
DeleteAliba You have a father ask him how they did during their own time. women in afirca want to be treated like queen eliza. they cant keep a home. I am sorry to what society is turned into. filled with unrealistic women.
ReplyDeleteLmao... Na real queen Eliza
DeleteLmao he his very right dey ll always meet deir type cuz God is not blind God is perfection. Agbero go marry agbero. Ole go marry ole. Dats d type dey ll see men dat re like dem.
ReplyDeletevery correct write up alibaba!
ReplyDeleteMaybe and maybe not Alibaba.after a decade of being married (75% happy) ,three kids and a very good husband (so it seems),but I'm still downing my red label and a cigarette every now and then.
ReplyDeleteWe love each other and that's all that counts.
Have you ever considered what impact your lifestyle would have on your kids and if they would be fortunate to find a partner that will accommodate their vices of alcohol and cigarette?
DeleteYour husband is in big bondage
DeleteWomen have their own vices too. some can nag!!! those kinds of attitude scare men too.
ReplyDeleteBehind every nagging woman, is a man not doing what he's suppose to!
DeleteTsew.......see you. Women can even nag for being good to them or doing things right and not giving them the chance to nag better or nag you as being suspecious. You can never get "no nag" you only settle for low or high frequency...
DeleteGod help us... 'relationship rader' , 'never my type hemisphere ' lolzzzzz
ReplyDeleteWonderful piece, and sincere concluding statement Alibaba
ReplyDeleteGbammmmmnn. Nail on the head, ogbeni
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha... Nice one from him. You're looking for Mr right yet you flaunt yourself anyhow, you smoke sk and drink alot and you expect Mr to come and meet you? Mba nu, it doesn't happen rather you'll be his straffin' machine.. Hahahaha
ReplyDeleteDis person na phc person.....
DeleteA woman smoking is not even the problem here, its attitudinal problems. Some of them lack respect for the man, very materialistic. Its so funny that everyday what you see on Facebook is some women writing things like," what a woman wants in a man, What a real man is or that bullshit." Most of them are not even qualified enough or even fit for any man and all those things come out of selfishness. Instead of writing about what a woman wants in a man, you should develop yourself and stop focusing on the men and what you want from them. Instead focus on you becoming a good woman. Focus on yourself and let the men focus on themselves and let both people make themselves better. You are putting someone who doesn't give a hoot about you under a radar. A lot of some need to stop lying to themselves.
ReplyDeleteVery nice one bro.
DeleteWhat an ignorant conclusion. Good women far outnumber good men. The issue here is that men do not know what they want. In theory they claim that they want a good girl, when in fact they actually want a hooker that can sha pretend to be decent in front of family and friends.
ReplyDeleteExactly. ..
DeleteOh yeah I concur to trying to work on other qualities of the man...can u imagine the height of desperation. Some ladies will definitely wait for a pretty long time searching for the perfect guy....lmao@what is goose for uganda...........
ReplyDeleteSo u wanna tell me she sent you an 'inbox' message and later, both of you 'accidentally' met at da club? And u tried to get her to rate you and.. Well that's none of Mai business.
ReplyDeleteSmoking Cuban is not the worst sin buh u have a point. And hear ye all Nigerian women who wanna get married, ours is a very pretentious and judggemental society. Very. so just go with da flow. Smoking and drinking and sextape and tattoo girls are 'bad,non-wife material' persons. Smoking and drinking men are of course, not bad. Men are never bad. So, If u wanna GET MARRIED, that is, if marriage is your dream and prayer, u gotta pretend real well: don't smoke, don't drink, don't be rude. Play the nice, friendly, home-keeping, food-cooking, ass-licking lady and booooom, ur married. Wear long weaves and bleach ur skin a bit and boooom, ur married. Smile widely for ur Inlaws approval and booom, ur married. Lookout for the person in ur guys family who calls the shots, there's always one. Worship him/her, be nice and approve of all they say and booom, ur so married. Pretend to be the 'good' and 'nice' this evulish society wants u to be if u wanna marry. Do this and thank me later.
P.s be on the lookout after marriage: ur hubby might go cheat on you with one of those smoking drinking bad girls, but don't be mad. It was MARRIAGE u wanted, right? Marriage. Something always gives. You're married. Prayers answered. society happy. Singlehood shame gone. Endure the cheating. Endure. Better the wife than the side chic. Cos in Nigeria honey, you're better off married!
A billion likes
DeleteDear Chikito, you jis reflected my thoughts.... We could be good friends o...
DeleteChikito,,, u r a bundle of wisdoms. Nice write up.
DeleteThis is just perfect! Pretence all the way and you have what you want
Deletemy wife doesnt smoke, i take ganja...she will partake once in a blue moon, like on our honeymoon night!
ReplyDeletewhat i dont want is a woman that shags every tom, dick and harry or that has daddy issues or trust issues.
i want a woman that knows how to submit herself to me like a woman even as i reciprocate like a man.
If the world like it should turn upside down........but God standard still won't change, there's a man for every woman out there and in his time he will make everything beautiful!
ReplyDeleteAli Baba you are both right and wrong. Truth is neither gender understands or prepares for marriage from the right perspective, and our values are becoming increasingly warped as a society.
ReplyDeleteWe pick husbands and wives for all the wrong reasons and do not think of what value we are to add to the person, only what the person can/will do for us. Everyone walking around with long laundry list of expectations.
However smoking, drinking even partying are not the worst vices. Those pale in comparison to lying, cheating, selfishness, pride, abusiveness, treachery.. the list gets darker and longer.
Its the person inside, not the external that matters. It is precisely that error of looking and judging from the outside that leads many into hellish choices.
Besides, the men who smoke, drink, philander and party should not turn around for smokeless virgin lilies. How is that fair to the poor girls? And how will the man adjust to the alien lifestyle of going without his vices? It is precisely that sort of double standard and hypocrisy that drives the former lilies to drink post marriage. Vicious cycle abi?
Gbam!
DeleteI agree with Alibaba but still men in Nigeria wants a good wife while they are the "thugs" cos society frowns at women but praises the stupidity of men and this have made them make a lot of mistakes. Best thing is get to know someone b4 concluding base on physical look
ReplyDeleteLove this,but just that even the ladies that are miss right end up marrying agbero husband that will never appreciate what they have. Some guys don't get their priorities right when it comes to choosing a woman especially in Nigeria where the majority of them want to marry a president, minister, governor, or any girl that her family is already made.
ReplyDeletetrue talk even the bible said " a faithful man who can find" #Ekeke#
ReplyDeleteAli Abeg park well well... How many women you don ruff for Lagos and Abuja??? Now you dey advise men to find Virgin... After you don ruff nearly half of Lagos... Abeg Park well well... Anu ohia
ReplyDeleteIts 50/ 50,. But my prayer, make urself marriagable, be at d rite place at d rite time. But come to think of it, bad guys have d good girls, good girls have d bad guys, na so I see am!
ReplyDeleteNice write up. We as humans set standards for ourselves.
ReplyDeletelol, she dey light cigar dey find mr right? not even cigarette? na mr left and mr off side she go find. U also have to be mrs right for u to be chosen.
ReplyDeleteKudos to Mr alibaba, his is rilly on point.... So ladies take note.
ReplyDeleteThank u Alibaba 80 percent of Women dis days live a fake life.Always asking God 2 give me my flesh n bone of my bone.cekeghalu@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteI love this alibaba front n back,(not dt kinda bad bad thing format ooo),naaaaaaaaa. He's sbdy dt understands life,hs humorous nature is outta ds world, tho I dnt knw if he's troublesome @ home, it's only Mary B dt wl confirm to us.nothing on earth is heavenly dan a good spouse,if you are blessed with an understanding spouse dt hv conscience, caring n generous, either d man or d woman,Infact u r witnessing wot heaven wl be like in this world,am talking from experience. But if you live with 3rd degree devil @ home,u r completely finished.it takes special grace of God for u to concentrate in life,atimes u wake up n get confused. My kinda hubby is nutttn to write home about, he's sumtn else, mscheeewwwww. I don't even know how to describe him,but cos of my kids,am just hanging on.he womanises,sleeps with my distant friends,hs friends wives,married,single, widow,anything oooooooo.hs stinginess is sumtn else,I can't remember the last time he gave me money to take care of myself,no exaggerations o.nags,can keep malice,beats me,Infact u can never please him,even if you kill urself, he's just a sadist n a kill joy.I hv been managing him fo 20yrs of our marriage now and am below 40yrs, Dts early marriage for you.last year I met ds man,wonderful man,married too,if not for my kids,I would have gladly walked out,remain unmarried but at least feel love in d truest aspect of it,not wt bitterness n so much hatred.I never knew men can be soft n emotional, until I met ds man,omggggg.everyday I keep asking him,are you for real?do u love me? He tells me 'i love you babe more than 10x daily, holy ghost.u won't understand until you are confined in house wt an indiamin of Uganda,evtn is Jst orders,if you dare question hs authority,money for food Na voicemail.bt ds my boo,Shebi Na wetn una dey call am? Am on hs mthly payroll,is not as if sex is our problem cos he's hardly in d country due to nature of hs job, bt he's alwz on fone wt me. 24/7,we talk fo hours on fone, more than 3x daily fo 1yr now,so it's no pretence.he felt I needed love n d vacuum to be filled n if I fall into d wrong hands I might be messed up,due to my fragility,my emotional life,my naivety, these are hs words.Infact we both wanted companionship like craze, hs wife is hs opposite,al dose career women dt neglect dia hubby.am comfortably working in a federal government parastatal,plsssssssssssss in ds scenario, do you blame a woman dts having a hot sizzling romantic heavenly divine affair.I call him a God sent, heaven's finest.
ReplyDeleteAlibaba speaking truth,girls need to work on themselves. You need to be the kind of guy you want to attract!
ReplyDeleteLol... I don't understand o... you are a guy and u like to tie ur legs and behave like a mermaid? Which kind fantasy be that? Lol... nice one though, but seriously weird
ReplyDeleteOkay we are talking of the bad ones, what of the good ones.....without tattoos, trying as much as possible to do everything right. I have heard lots of my male friends say they wouldn't want a virgin, 'there wahala too much, they are not experienced' and all that. Frustrating the good ones. You have to be flashy and well dressed to be approached by a guy forgetting that not all of the ladies have the money to look that good. You accuse them of being fake yet you can't see a realistic lady being her free self without judging her to be classless. Bikonu na wetin una want. The men contribute to it too....Let the truth be told.
ReplyDeleteSo coz a woman smokes it means she can't be a good wife?? Oh plizzzz
ReplyDeleteAlifather on point o.
ReplyDeleteI totally relate. Best piece i've read in 2 weeks
ReplyDeleteU said it all bro.......
ReplyDeleteIts all complicated....big ifeco
ReplyDeleteOh pls guys....i knw its mostly guys that ll agree wit him, sme of y'all didn't even read d write up. Anyways, there are a lot of young ladies ready to commit totally to a relationship buh d fact dat guys are soooo confused n superficial dese days, they are too blind to dese kinda ladies. Its not dat they dnt meet Dem, buh bcos her father isn't Alico, or she doesn't wrk in an oil n gas firm, or she doesn't ooze lag/abj big girl, they dnt make d effort to get to knw her. When its tym to judge, men are d 1st to criticize Brazilian hair, bleached, cigrette smoking girls buh deep within them, those are d kind of girls they want so they cn get validation frm friends n d society at large...We just lyk to say girls dese days are terrible, buh d truth is, nothing ever takes away the natural attribute of a woman. Its just simply cos a lot of woman want to guard their hearts frm being broken by d kinda MEN we Av ds days that they ve decided, wats gud for d GOOSE is also gud for d GANDER......No matter hw terrible a woman is, all she needs is a man who can luv n,cherish her just d way she is. Guys try treating a girl ryt, be honest n committed and see if dat crazy, cigarette smoking, naggin chick of urs doesn't change. We weren't designed to b all dese things, buh circumstances change n we seek to find refuge in ds vices. We just nid a GOOD, HONEST guy to show us bak. Linda,u haven't bin posting my comments, wetin I do u?
ReplyDeleteSome guys xters are so irritating too.
ReplyDeleteThere id even nothing like Mr right, some. Things are very important to look out for in a man some r not, same applies to the woman.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, well said!
ReplyDeleteAli Baba is right to an extent. But as a single woman I beg to differ on some of his points. I know a lot of single hardworking, non clubbing, non smoking and non drinking friends like myself who are unmarried. You can't judge everyone based on your own experiences. I know happy married couple that smoke weed together
ReplyDeleteyou really hit the nail with a good hammer bros
ReplyDeletein a country of about 170 million people how can they say that anyway they should start marrying younger guys who is not their age mate as done abroad.
ReplyDelete@ anonymous downing red label and cigarettes, u were lucky to have met the man u r married to, 85% of nigerian men wuld not condone that kinda vices from the mother of his 3kids
ReplyDeleteAli baba are you saying that most women are single because they are all guilty of some vices or the other? That's just soooo wrong and I'm disappointed in you for saying that. I used to rate you high but sorry you've fallen off that pedestal for me. As a single woman who doesn't club, drink or smoke why am I still unmarried? I cook well and I'm not promiscuous. I have a good job and I'm not emotionally and financially needy so what excuse would you and people like you in society give for me being single? Lemme guess you'll bring up one or two gist abt me being ugly or having a bad attitude just to make me think I'm the one causing my singlehood. Let me tell you something Ali baba, I've heard the worst excuses from men when it came to time to commit o, excuses like 'this one year difference between us is too short o, my ppl won't like it' to 'you're not Yoruba so I don't think you'll fit in with my family'. How about my favourite of all time 'I don't ever want to get married, you can have children with me sha but no marriage'. This is the reality most of us single women live with. Most of the bad girls are married o. Don't think it's the saints that are been marched down the aisle every Saturday. I think Ali baba your post is insensitive and written from a chauvinistic point of view. How many men make themselves marriageable to women? Are you gonna address that? Do men work on their attitudes, drop their vices and work on themselves before they get married? Hardly. Shout out to the single women out there who are doing the right thing in the midst of all this rubbish and are still waiting for Gods time. Our own Saturday will come.
ReplyDeleteYes ooooo!!! 1,000,000 likes for ur comment babes...Stop making us single women feel lyk sumtin s wrong wit us
DeleteYou are the one jare. And until you find the reason why men don't want to marry you and tell yourself the truth, you never ready
DeleteMaybe you were too picky when you were young. Now you are old and no longer as desirable. But you are the one sha
Some ppl find it harder than some to get married o. Ali Baba don come again. Some go marry early some go marry late. Some go marry early divorce and done go marry late stay husband house.
ReplyDeleteReal life example Lindada. I married a virgin who I thought was gonna make me happy. All ma life I only want to be a good husband and great father to my kids. I met some women who I loved but cld av married but I wanted a good girl from a good Christian background so I married my wife after dating for a year. I was initially happy with my choice and ridiculed my friends who married 'loose' women, especially my cousin who married a club girl who used to smoke and follow men. Long story short my wife turned out to be my greatest mistake Linda. She physically fights me and doesn't care about out kids, all she wants is money and doesn't want to work. Sex is just to have kids for her. I have to promise her plenty money before she will let me sleep with her. I'm so unhappy linda
ReplyDeleteWell we in a mans world
ReplyDeleteWho finds a real woman in a club anyway????
ReplyDeleteDude or babe, wateva u are, a lot of real women can be found in a club...infact realer women, if dere s anytin lyk dat, than u ve ever met. D fact dat someone luvs to Av a gud tym, does not make dem evil. Get to knw pple b4 u judge dem. I want to believe u aren't perfect either
DeleteBeautiful Right up Mr Alibaba.With all due respect,women are suppose to have a checklist,and men do have checklist too,sometimes unrealistic ones. Women have their flaws,so do men. But in our society,women are expected to overlook the flaws of me.Which is total bulls**t. I ask you Mr Alibaba,if you had a male friend and he smokes and drinks,will you take out time and write about him,and his checklist. Please before you take out the dirt from ones eyes,wipe the slime dripping down your nose. Stop being a F***ing Misogyny
ReplyDeleteLOL! correct point bros!
ReplyDeleteBefore you look for that right person, make yourself right in your character and attitude, knowing this simple truth that love and submission is the only known prescription for a successful marriage.
ReplyDeleteLet me try to define marriage not according to dictionary definition but to the bible:
Marriage is a commitment and covenant between a man and a woman with understanding, for earthly companionship.
Adam recognized the fact that the woman was taken out of man; this is why there will always be physical attraction between the opposite sexes because everything gravitate towards their source.
Marriage is the coming together of two complete individuals to a physical and spiritual union.
The two people involved were two complete individuals with different bodies, thoughts, believes, backgrounds and upbringing.
This brings to bare and disprove the old believe of a “missing rib” theory which tends to make man an incomplete entity that God has made.
This theory will suggest that people like Jesus and Paul who never got married were incomplete.
What did Jesus say About Marriage?
1.God original intention for marriage was one man one wife.
2.It’s two complete individuals coming together in union to be one.
3.This union was between a man and a woman (not man-man or woman-woman)
4.Man should not separate what God has joined together
5.Divorce was not God’s original intention from the beginning and can only be considered on the grounds of infidelity to the conjugal agreement.
6.Not everyone will get married either by divine ordinance or choice for the kingdom sake.
7.Whoever can stay unmarried should do so by choice.
This simple fact has made us to know that marriage is not a command from God; it’s not a criterion to fulfil purpose or go to heaven. You are complete with or without marriage but marriage is good for earthly companionship and procreation.
Some common believes the bible never teaches:
1.Everyone has a predestined person (right man/woman) they
must get married to if they must be happy in life.
2.Your second half or missing rib is your spouse
3.You must test your
compatibility (physical & sexual) before you make the right decision.
4.Marry who you love (the bible only says love who you marry)
5.God will give you a vision of the person you will marry when you pray for a life partner
6.Marriage is the completion of a person and the source of happiness and fulfillment in life.
The Result When a Person Gets the wrong Idea about Marriage
1.They will be looking for the perfect man/woman that will complete their missing part and bring an end to the misery of their singleness.
2.Singleness becomes a shame or a disorder that must be correct by getting married by all means. Making getting married becomes a miracle.
3.Age becomes the only determining factor for getting married
4.Married people wishing and wanting to be unmarried
5.Disappointments, broken dreams, bitterness and endurance after marriage
6.The shock to find out that things and people change over time and waking up out of fairy tales to the reality of life.
7.Single parenthood and lots more that were never bargained for.
Conclusion
Marriage is a commitment and covenant between a man and a woman with understanding, for earthly companionship. There is nothing like marriage in heave and it is not a criterion to go there either. Your purpose is greater than marriage and marriage should be a means of fulfilling it.
You are never old enough to get married, you can only be prepared and matured enough irrespective of age and it’s a choice and not a command by God, parents or society. Being “single” and complete is the best thing that can happen to you as an unmarried or a married person.
Thank you!
On point! Every girl want Mr.Right, n they don't eant to be the MRS. Right that Mr. Right deserve s.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm.........life
ReplyDeleteI know guys will agree, but I disagree.
ReplyDeleteBefore you look for that right person, make yourself right in your character and attitude, knowing this simple truth that love and submission is the only known prescription for a successful marriage.
ReplyDeleteLet me try to define marriage not according to dictionary definition but to the bible:
Marriage is a commitment and covenant between a man and a woman with understanding, for earthly companionship.
Adam recognized the fact that the woman was taken out of man; this is why there will always be physical attraction between the opposite sexes because everything gravitate towards their source.
Marriage is the coming together of two complete individuals to a physical and spiritual union.
The two people involved were two complete individuals with different bodies, thoughts, believes, backgrounds and upbringing.
This brings to bare and disprove the old believe of a “missing rib” theory which tends to make man an incomplete entity that God has made.
This theory will suggest that people like Jesus and Paul who never got married were incomplete.
Some common believes the bible never teaches:
1.Everyone has a predestined person (right man/woman) they
must get married to if they must be happy in life.
2.Your second half or missing rib is your spouse
3.You must test your
compatibility (physical & sexual) before you make the right decision.
4.Marry who you love (the bible only says love who you marry)
5.God will give you a vision of the person you will marry when you pray for a life partner
6.Marriage is the completion of a person and the source of happiness and fulfillment in life.
The Result When a Person Gets the wrong Idea about Marriage
1.They will be looking for the perfect man/woman that will complete their missing part and bring an end to the misery of their singleness.
2.Singleness becomes a shame or a disorder that must be correct by getting married by all means. Making getting married becomes a miracle.
3.Age becomes the only determining factor for getting married
4.Married people wishing and wanting to be unmarried
5.Disappointments, broken dreams, bitterness and endurance after marriage
Conclusion
Marriage is a commitment and covenant between a man and a woman with understanding, for earthly companionship. There is nothing like marriage in heave and it is not a criterion to go there either. Your purpose is greater than marriage and marriage should be a means of fulfilling it.
You are never old enough to get married, you can only be prepared and matured enough irrespective of age and it’s a choice and not a command by God, parents or society. Being “single” and complete is the best thing that can happen to you as an unmarried or a married person.
Thank you!
Nice write up, this is so true Bros, some ladies just want to belong. most times the desire of wanting to buy Brazilian hair, cloths, expensive phones, ride on cars etc. are usually the reasons why most women can't see it when the right man comes, forgetting that the man who doesn't have today but has a good prospect and future, who is determined with hard work, will definitely have tomorrow. it is time for our ladies to change their mentalities about somethings!
ReplyDelete@Apple, God bless you too much for your comment jare. By far the best comment here. Couple of things Ali Baba
ReplyDelete1. What really happened to your first wife Patricia.
2. You had this conversation with a lady in the club, after the whole thing, you left, came home, got on your computer, phone or tablet which ever and started typing, writing about the whole dialogue on FB, and as if that is not painful enough, you decided to blast the poor lady about her alcohol intake and smoking. If I am that lady, that ends any future conversations or gists with u henceforth. 3. I am a Nigerian lady who had lived in Nigeria for all of my teens and well into my twenties before travelling out, TRUST ME ON THIS ONE, NIGERIAN MEN DO NOT WANT GOOD LADIES, TRUST ME. I was very decent, wear very decent covered clothes, smart tops and pants or trousers, no cleavage showing, no Brazillian hair, just decent braids or pack natural hair, I NEVER GOT APPROACHED BY THE AVERAGE NIGERIAN MAN ON THE STREET AS OFTEN AS, WAIT FOR IT...... MY YOUNGER SISTERS who all did all or more of the above. Now tell me, are those the Nigerian men Ali Baba is busy blabbing about. Mtchewww rubbish..
@Apple, God bless you too much for your comment jare. By far the best comment here. Couple of things Ali Baba
ReplyDelete1. What really happened to your first wife Patricia.
2. You had this conversation with a lady in the club, after the whole thing, you left, came home, got on your computer, phone or tablet which ever and started typing, writing about the whole dialogue on FB, and as if that is not painful enough, you decided to blast the poor lady about her alcohol intake and smoking. If I am that lady, that ends any future conversations or gists with u henceforth. 3. I am a Nigerian lady who had lived in Nigeria for all of my teens and well into my twenties before travelling out, TRUST ME ON THIS ONE, NIGERIAN MEN DO NOT WANT GOOD LADIES, TRUST ME. I was very decent, wore very decent covered clothes, smart tops and pants or trousers, no cleavage showing, no Brazillian hair, just decent braids or pack natural hair, I NEVER GOT APPROACHED BY THE AVERAGE NIGERIAN MAN ON THE STREET AS OFTEN AS, WAIT FOR IT...... MY YOUNGER SISTERS who all did all or more of the above. Now tell me, are those the Nigerian men Ali Baba is busy blabbing about. Mtchewww rubbish..
Who ever said a woman that parties, drinks and smokes cannot be a good wife and mother, lied! The same goes for men. To each his/her own though.
ReplyDeleteMost Nigeria Ladies are fucking greedy & selfish! To make issue worst, they v lost it all. DA Woman hood. who wanna marry A GOLD DIGGER & A HOER??
ReplyDeleteI know dat ma man Ȋ̝̊̅§ somwhr out dir. Ȋ̝̊̅ dnt club,Ȋ̝̊̅ dnt drink,Ȋ̝̊̅ practise islam,Ȋ̝̊̅ try to be loving Ąπ∂ undastnding mayb its not jus tym yet. But Ȋ̝̊̅ A̶̲̥̅♏ very patient Ąπ∂ would wait. Nomata Ђŏw̶̲̥̅ bad society Ȋ̝̊̅§ dir re stil gud men #Hardycute
ReplyDeleteRelationship issues are really complicated nowadays, a girl might be looking for something serious in a guy and think he might be the right guy for her, while that same guy might not be ready to settle down at that stage and will just want to be a fling without the girl knowing. What I have also noticed is that the bad girls get married fast while the good ones will be waiting at home for their Mr Right.
ReplyDeleteSome guys are even shy or afraid to approach the pretty good girls,they rather go to a bar or club where after taking some alcohol to boost their moral, that's when they can now ask a girl out in that environment.
Am under pressure to settle down from friends, but I cant rush to get married to just any guy because almost all my friends are married, Marriage is a life time commitment and so am going to wait for the man God has ordained for me.
Boss you finish work abeg!
ReplyDeletehmmmmmmmmm true talk
ReplyDeleteI agree o, we ladies need to check and upgrade ourselves if we want to find better men. The way u dress determines the way u r addressed
ReplyDelete...what is goose for uganda is goods for somalia...hehehe
ReplyDeletethats true
ReplyDeleteFunny how this work.Make dat extra pay. http://monthlyyouth.com/?ref=485207
Linda, it's 'spitting image' not 'splitting image'.
ReplyDeleteSee who 's talking! This is a guy that was a pure gold-digger, married Pat for her fame and money, has 4 kids from 4 women, go on and preach fool!!
ReplyDeleteThis is on point!
ReplyDeleteGbam! U just nailed it.
ReplyDeleteyeah right making a generalization out of one lady that smokes and drinks is not enough to alibaba please carry out your research well
ReplyDeleteStupid write up,thats y these men marry d wrong women and end up being useless and poor @ d long run,they keep looking out for "good girl" or church goer.....that doesn't make ur marriage work,infact d party goer girls marriages work better.
ReplyDeleteSometimes i pause to wonder on when did we start to get it wrong in our African culture, i relocated my wife and two kids abroad early this year because of security problem in this country and our already dead educational system since then can you believe many girls despite they know my marital status want to marry me? I managed to sleep with one and she came back a week after to tell me she was pregnant. lool...i cajoled her to come for discussion then gave her another shot before giving her last warning of let this be the last time i will see you. God forgives me oh! But truly our girls have lost their dignity.
ReplyDeleteI wish there is a "like" button and I don't have to comment. So true!
ReplyDeleteAli Baba ks right...its a simple law of attraction..whatever kind of attention you need will only come to you based on how your percieve yourself
ReplyDeletewww.tegastyle.blogspot.com
TEL THEM BRO I LOVE THAT,THEY THINK THEY ARE SMART..
ReplyDeleteGod will find a good Mr right u don't need to go in search of him or accept a garbage to meddle
ReplyDeleteim married but my wife wants to 'belong' at all cost. she wakes up early in the morning and start searching for rich men to befriend on facebook. she added otedola as facebook friend on the 30th of august as early as 8am. i still don't understand what business she wants to do with otedola.
ReplyDeleteOf all the comments I've read under this post, this one made me laugh hard! LMAOOOO!!! *i still don't know what business she wants to do with Otedola*.
DeleteOn point Ali.
ReplyDeleteits not about the women anymore ali ,even the guys now have loads of issues,am unmarried at 31,i don't drink i don't smoke,run my own little business and paid my way try my masters but every guy says oh il need a strong man cos I'm a uk18 down n a uk12 up,some say ah i want a comfortable girl,some say oo distance.so really i av decided to let it come wen it does and not fuss,even with all dis i av a curfew of 10.00pmat home,so war r we not saying,meanwhile all d weddings av attended r by my so called smoker*runs gals* fronds.and see me yet unmarried.no be by dt oo.nija dating scene has gone look
ReplyDeleteThe thing that pisses me off about some Naija girls is that they want everything good to be in a guy. A ready made guy(a guy that has figured it all out) while they are not ready to put in any input apart from sex. That thing is so annoying. They are so picky. Nobody is good enough for them
ReplyDeleteTruth be told, women get calendar were dey expire. Men don't
We teach girls to shrink themselves
ReplyDeleteTo make themselves smaller
We say to girls,
"You can have ambition
But not too much
You should aim to be successful
But not too successful
Otherwise you will threaten the man."
Because I am female
I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices
Always keeping in mind that
Marriage is the most important
Now marriage can be a source of
Joy and love and mutual support
But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage
And we don't teach boys the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors
Not for jobs or for accomplishments
Which I think can be a good thing
But for the attention of men
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings
In the way that boys are
Feminist: the person who believes in the social
Political, and economic equality of the sexes
Did Alibaba start a support group for single women that I'm not aware of? This is not his first write up about one on one conversations with desperate single women looking for husband. Guy, which way?
ReplyDelete@SUNITA GOD BLESS U. U wldnt hv said it any better.....
ReplyDeleteGod help us women, dis generalization about women is so on d increase, But atleast d good women know wat dey are worth.
I wanna be, Mr. Right wey dem dey wait for, e go over-dem.
ReplyDeleteAll dis girls sef, na una nor chacha, na una still dey find man wey chacha. e go cake for una o because eye wey dey cry dey see road o...
#TRUETALK#
ReplyDelete@Anon 10.57am.....
ReplyDeleteYou impregnated a girl and still lured her into another round of sex before telling her never to find you again abi?? God is watching you. You're a father right? Karma will catch up with your children. I pity that wife of yours who doesn't know she's married to a beast! God purnish you real good.
This man is sooo chauvinistic. Majority of men are, especially Africans. They want to put every blame on the lady, even where none exists. All a guy has to do is go to school and/or have a source of income, chikenna! As if women are exempted from earning a living. Women also have to know how to dress well, be good to inlaws, cook excellently.... the list is endless, and trust me, there's no guarantee of a good man for she who has all the listed qualities.
ReplyDeleteThe no 1 cause of relationship problems are caused by the fact that men CANNOT differentiate between their Wants and their Needs. When they get a good girl or find a virgin, they will still complain that she's not good in bed. Huh! As if God is responsible for teaching them that!
Mind you, our society is not just full of single ladies but single men as well. Nobody talks about them because they don't have "expiry dates"... Joke of the century! Ali mama or whatever your name is, take very several seats.
This man is sooo chauvinistic. Majority of men are, especially Africans. They want to put every blame on the lady, even where none exists. All a guy has to do is go to school and/or have a source of income, chikenna! As if women are exempted from earning a living. Women also have to know how to dress well, be good to inlaws, cook excellently.... the list is endless, and trust me, there's no guarantee of a good man for she who has all the listed qualities.
ReplyDeleteThe no 1 cause of relationship problems are caused by the fact that men CANNOT differentiate between their Wants and their Needs. When they get a good girl or find a virgin, they will still complain that she's not good in bed. Huh! As if God is responsible for teaching them that!
Mind you, our society is not just full of single ladies but single men as well. Nobody talks about them because they don't have "expiry dates"... Joke of the century! Ali mama or whatever your name is, take very several seats.
Lmao@"she lit a cigar and started smoking" and "manageable ladies are unicorns".
ReplyDeleteLet her keep smoking until the only thing that shows on her radar is the cloud of smoke. If she has coins to throw around she might end up with a gigolo or toyboy like Hollywood cougars. But a real husband? She go tay there.
I totally agree
ReplyDeleteHmm
ReplyDeleteall this talk too long/...abeg i need husband joor...
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm Alibaba!
ReplyDeleteUtter Junk
ReplyDeleteGood men are hard to find in Nigeria? Then come to London and you will see its even harder for black women!!!
ReplyDeleteDis write up is jus an ARRANT Nonsense Mtewww
ReplyDelete