Are you one of those women? And what's your reason? Let's discuss!
Thursday 17 July 2014
'May I not marry a man like my father..."
Are you one of those women? And what's your reason? Let's discuss!
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Are you one of those women? And what's your reason? Let's discuss!
248 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 248 of 248I am definitely one of such women. While my father is not a troublesome or stubborn man, he does not provide a penny for his children. Apart from the fact that he donated his sperm, every responsibility has been carried by my mother. She might as well have been a single mom and yes, he has a good job, earns money but no one, not even my mom knows where the money goes to. She has cried and shouted and cried but to no avail. House, food, children's upkeep and school fees, cars, everything all catered for by her. She works so hard and yet the man has no pity on her. Instead he will be collecting money from her and even the bible says a man that cannot provide for his family is worse than an infidel. I sure do not pray to marry a man where i will be the one providing for my family while my husband just eats and gets fat.
May I never marry a woman like my Mother. She has anger issues very bad. May my daughter marry a man like my Dad, so full of support,so supportive of my mum, since I was born my Dad has never beaten my mum, they can have some quarrell, he tries as much as he can to hide it from us. My Dad loves education so much and always wants the best for all his children
Same with me o. I can't marry a man like my father IJN. I love him so much but he loves women die. My parents are divorced and my dad is currently married to a 4th wife who is 2 years older than me. Sometimes I wonder if they use women to do jazz 4 him.
That was my biggest prayer point before I got married, and thank God he answered my prayers.
Am 1 of dem oo...I don dey talk am since wey i dey little...my dad is so so strict n mean..wuldnt want to marry sum1 lyk him
Onyx, your sisters were actually shedding tears of joy not sorrow.
A phase was over in their lives.
Abusive fathers are nothing to write home about. It leaves a lot of scar in the minds of children which sometimes affects them even in the future if care is not taken.
Learn to find a closure and learn from your experience. Talk to your sisters as well so it can gradually fade.
my dad is great..patoswife@gmail.com
My dad is the most selfish man i know. He and my mum where married for over 20years before he left her, took his money with him and left her homeless. Then he went ahead and married a young girl 5years older than me and spent his savings on her until she wrecked him. he provided for me on the condition that i would not side or give to my mother.
SO yes linda, MAY I NOT MARRY A MAN LIKE MY FATHER.
Just believe the current breed of men are gonna be worse!!
Infact I sort a man like my father, kind, generous, patient and soft spoken. However God forbid that I ever be like my mum, controlling, manipulative and pretender.
I almost turned docile just so I wouldnt be like her till my husband taught me its okay to argue in a healthy manner. She would publiclly ridicule and embarass my dad, abuse us physically, everyone on the street knew us for her fights and screams. How my Dad stayed is a wonder.
Till today he is the pillar while she moves around trying to control and dominate me I dont even give her a quarter of an inch. God forbid that I raise my kids with such bitterness.
IN JESUS NAME I Pray AMEN.i will not marry a man like my father oo Tufiakwa!TO be sincere my father is an amazing father, he has taken care of us his children with his life,infact we are first on his list before God sef, but he doesnt treat my mom right at all, and no! my mom has never cheated on him, my mom na church freak, na dere she day sleep, eat, drink etc,she is a very good wife and even my fathers' brothers wish they were the ones that married my mom.My dad even knows shes the best wife God can give any man and he sometimes says it but he doesnt show love to her at all,I really think is because she doesnt work and all the financial burden is on him, so thats why hes so mean to her and doesnt let her decide anything when it comes to us kids.I sometimes wonder how she has managed to put up 21 years with him.WHEN i ASK her why she is with my dad she says 'My husband loves me, and I love my husband too, mind your business, God is in control, my marriage is not the best because the best days are ahead of us and by the way its not that bad',thats what she always says.He doesnt beat her like that, maybe ones or twice I have seen him but he always does things like ceasing her car keys, locking her out the house and telling his family that she needs to be in iyaba left where psychiatric patients are. I really dont want to marry a man like my father, i will be miserable for the rest of my life, although i want to marry a man that treat our kids like my father does.My mum is the strongest woman I know and God bless her and keep her, shes my everything! i just wish my dad would change soonest.Linda please im ranting biko, have a good day
I have always prayed not to meet or marry someone that is like my father. to describe my father is like describing the devil. he is in fact worse than the devil and to think while growing up the people around us knew but preferred collecting money from him rather than addressing his behaviour towards his family was disheartening.He is a well known and extremely rich anambra man who will go to any level to make sure his children never enjoys a dime of his money. He is such a wicked man that when I think about him l feel sick.
I am already married to a man like my father , guess they are all the same, (WICKED)
I will choose my father a million times over just as a father because I do not remember him saying no to anything his kids ask for perhaps a waist purse I asked for in primary school and he said its for pepper sellers. he was just our best friend growing up, we all wait up for him to get back from work most nights.
But as a husband No. cheating on a woman that has always been there for you after you became rich and flaunting in her face is totally unacceptable.
My dad was very violent and abusive. I can't count how many times my mum,my siblings and I slept under d stairs outside bcos he sent us out.it was his problems dat sent my mum to a early grave. Don't pray to Eva meet sum1 like him.
Wow! See stories! I see ma dad is cool then...love him; wish for a better version in ma future husband tho.
From what I see here, most women wouldn't want men like their father as husbands; just hope the today men will ensure their daughters speak best of them, and vice versa.
Read PURPLE HIBISCUS by chimamanda ngozi adichie
Is 2 late dat am married 2 my hubby,bt neva pray of such man 2 my girl,a man dat wil giv outsider money bt has neva given me a penny.people wil be tellin me dat am lucky 2 have such man nt knwin dat he's sometin else inside.he's so wicked.full of pride and doesn't take advice he prefered takin advice outside,so aggressive I regretted marryin him.each mornin I wake up seein him beside me makes me sad.
i dont want to marry a man like my father. he never valued his immediate family n ws more bothered abt wt d outsyd world tot abt his actions. he shrunk from ALL responsibilities probably cos we were girls. he hd d nastiest things to say abt my mother n her people n kept spreading rumors bt d funniest thing ws my mum always never had a bad thing to say abt him. 90 percent of d finances for my educatn n dt of my sisters were courtesy of my mum, n she ws just a nurse. she did so many odd jobs to mke ends meet. u cn bet we went to d best schools in town. in his old age he remarried n gt d boy he always wantd bt he died leaving his son at abt 9yrs. if i depended on my dad i wld av grown up cold,bitter, selfish,godless n with serious inferiority complex
yes!! he cheats on my mum, he doesn't show her love in anyway, neither does he respect her. I love him regardless but i WONT marry any man like him
Well my brothers n sisters I thot I was alone in this.i some tyms wld want to questn God but I wld hold my peace.The burn is sumhw lifted
May i not marry a man like my father, he beat my mother black and blue everyday and had security officials guard our house day and night so she wont leave the house, m y mother ran away in the middle of the night with my sister strapped to her back and i following behind. Now he claims born again. I love him as a father, i married now and i bless God that my husband is nowhere close to what my father is/ was
funny...@ the end of d day they end up reporting their "perfect" husbands bad attitude to their much detested father
For starters linda my dad never paid my fees, doesnt buy food stuff, doesnt allow us use any of his cars,has never given our mum one wrapper to say thank u for raising my kids n putting food on d table. And guess what he is rich
Immediately i saw this post, i started rebuking and declaring that i would never marry any man like my father. It is so bad that if i see one trait or half a trait of my father in any man i am dating i know that i am through with that relationship. I can't and won't be like my mother taking all the nonsense that my dad threw her way.
I would keep praying for the man that i want and i know that God would answer my prayer.
http://journalofapetitediva.blogspot.com
Reminds me Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche. I bless God everyday 4 my parents "Fada".
i pray i never marry a man like my dad as well. my dad is an unrepentant cheat and liar. infact i keep telling my mum that she is one of the strongest women that i know because i have not been able to comprehend how she has been able to tolerate all the nonsense that my father has put her through for the 27 years that they have been married. my father has no strong bond with any of his children, he is also very stingy and doesn't like to give us money…. but he would rather spend it on women who are desperately out to break his home. my dad even stooped as low as sleeping with the maid that my mother brought, a household abomination that i don't think i can forgive my father for, my mother constantly narrates this ordeal because its just so unbelievable! to cut the story short, its just a matter of time before he realizes all the mistakes that he has made and of course it will be too late by then
So u want to marry a dunce
Lmao....u funny lolzz
It can only get better.
It can only get better.
Nice topic. I love my dad so much and I always pray and wish I marry a man like him, even better man. Amen
well the heart of virtually every man(literal meaning) is polygamous in nature...its wat I have come to realise.I pray for a true man in every ramification
the heart of virtually every man(literal meaning) is polygamous in nature...thats wat i v come to realise.I pray for a true man in all ramifications
Nawah oh, una harsh oh! Na una papa una d talk about oh!
I want to marry a better man than my dad..though a good dad but never a good husband. My mum is one of the kindest people I've seen in my life.
Doby u just explained my dad,and he's been like since I knew him gosh...
at 27 you cant stop your dad from beating your mum????
My dad has been a wonderful man though strict when it comes to we reading our books cos he's a teacher. I respect him in all areas.
Oh my. This is so scary, I was just having this conversation with my cousin last week. A lot of Nigerians do not like their fathers. Is this something to do with the way men are brought up in our society?
While I was much younger, say in my teens, I never wished to marry a man like my father. My reason, he was too good to a fault. As a much older girl, I wished for someone better. My father was a man like no other.
I couldn't agree more with you Nana. Like u read my mind. I'd rather remain single than to marry a man like my father. He left my mum 2 take care of 6 children all alone and without shame and still expects to be respected. He is the exert definition of an absentee father. If not for Jesus I can't tell what might have been his fate by now. To remember him makes me angry and bitter. I can tell none of u has d kind of man I have as a father. I can bet he is worse. They say daughters are their father's bffs. But neither me nor any of my sisters are close 2 him. Lindy, u r my sister (we r from the same part of nigeria) u would bear me witness that many men from there are sorry cases of "men". I enjoy ur blog. I hardly comment so I won't be attacked. Lol. But I follow ur every story. Weldone big sis!
When I was looking for a husband.... I ensured I looked out for one just like my daddy and thank God I found exactly (for the most part) what I hoped, prayed and asked for.
My dad is a good and self-less man who puts the needs of his wife first, followed by his kids in all situations. . Every morning before my Mom went to work, my dad would always check that her car is fine.. put water or oil wherever necessary or get someone to clean it.. I remember this particular memories as a child up until my mom retired..
My dad and mom would gist everyday till late night when he got back from work cos he wanted to talk about how his day went... I rmbr sometimes my mom would even pretend to be asleep somedays when she wasnt in the mood... lol.. My dad calls my mom frequently from work just to check on her.. Gives his car to his wife/children if required and finds alternative means to get to work ....
My dad together with his wife was at over 90 percent of all our school events.. visiting days etc while we were still in school...
he took charge of all d financial responsibilities of his wife and kids despite that my mom had a job... my mom often only added the extra luxuries. . My dad was not very rich but we must hv grown up feeling like the richest kids in hood cos he just did all he had to... he built a really happy home for his family and I will forever be grateful to him for making the decision to be a good man..no matter what..
there's so much good to say about him..but I will consider writing a book about it someday..lol and he definitely had his flaws too..
My dad is a happy and blessed man. I love him to pieces and I would surely take a bullet for him without thinking twice..
I hope more men will strive to be husbands and fathers that thier daughters would be proud of as it is alarming how many people here dont want a man that isnt anything like thier fathers..
Having said that... Our fathers gave us life... let's find a way to look possibly beyond thier flaws and love them despite most of d comments above. Parents are really amazing people.. Good, Bad or Ugly...
This is my story..caring father but not d best husband
My dad was wicked, a stingy womanizer with rage issues who beat my mother and us children daily. In looking for a spouse I looked for traits that were the exact opposite of my father and ended up with a wonderful husband. In my single days, I promptly broke up with any guy who had a single of my fathers traits.
In my next world wud love to have my father as my dad over and over again.... not only is he the best dad to i and my siblings, he's also a wonderful husband to my mum I so much envy her.....love u dad to the moon and back
Everyone's stories are amazing.
My case seems to be the opposite
MY MUM IS A WICKED WOMAN.
She is very much a piece of shit as well as anyone on her side of the family.
She refuses to take accountability for anything negative that she does and instead blames it on myself, my father and my brother.
She has beaten me to the point that you could see the white meat in my hands and told me to lie to the doctors and everyone at church, saying that I fell down the stairs. ( I LIVE IN THE UK so she knows what she had done was tantamount to child abuse) . She has emasculated my dad knowing fully well that she is a dependant on him. She has beaten my brother so much that outsiders have called the police to out house.
There is more horror stories but it's of a large read
ON MY LIFE, thankfully now that I'm going 22, if she dares try such stupid shit again I will show her a real 'demonic' child as she calls me.
I have always respected the institution of marriage but my dad deserves better than this child carrier
and my brother deserves a better mother.
I'm not religious but MAY SHE NOT NO PEACE IN JESUS NAME.
SHE WILL GET WHATS COMING TO HER ONE DAY AND I'LL HAPPILY BE SIPPIN ON A DAQUIRI WATCHING
Thank you very much for this information
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