Dear LIB readers: My husband insists I remove my maiden name from my name
From a female LIB reader
I've been married for seven months now and I'm bearing my husband's name alongside my father's name. My husband doesn't like it and is insisting I bear his name only and remove my father's name but that's hard for me because I've used my father's name professionally for over ten years and that's the name everyone knows. Why can't a woman retain her maiden name after marriage? What do I do, he's really insisting.
Pls remove your name and let the devil be ashamed! Dont you know that when marrying the man, you signed off your maiden name for your husband's? Please do the right thing and stop making mountains out of mole hills.
Quit? Did u just ask her to quit her marriage over a change to her maiden name? She doesn't need to quit. She should change it if her husband does not agree wit the way she uses it now.
If that is what he wants and you love your marriage do what he says and he would also do what you want from him in no time.if he refuse you then think seriouly about staying or leaving the marriage. Cooldavoe@yahoo.com
Random question; how long did you guys court because this is part of the things you should have sorted out before marriage. But since you didn't do so, then check does it really hurt him deep. If it does then do it. Its part of the sacrifices you make in a marriage.
Random question; how long did you guys court because this is part of the things you should have sorted out before marriage. But since you didn't do so, then check does it really hurt him deep. If it does then do it. Its part of the sacrifices you make in a marriage.
Random question; how long did you guys court because this is part of the things you should have sorted out before marriage. But since you didn't do so, then check does it really hurt him deep. If it does then do it. Its part of the sacrifices you make in a marriage.
Cultures and traditions of different tribes varies. In our own case I.e de Igbos, u have 2 drop ur maiden name. I don't really knw ur tribe but since ur husband insisted dat u have 2 drop it den go ahead and do it and save ur marriage. Inform everyone of de change and continue with ur life. This shouldn't be an issue. I'm out. ***CATCH ME IF U CAN***
Rubbish!!! De guy no pay for ur head? remove ur papa name there jor and do a change of name in court and publish it in any news paper abd ur documents remains valid...
U've used it professionally which also includes ur passport n all. Ur identification.....sorry if I may ask, is ur husband ok? Is he from dat tribe? Answer ur papa name de go....
you Husband should realize this is the 21st century. Dont fight him over it make him see reasons and pray about it. A lot of influential women keep their maiden names, for so many reasons and i think yours is a valid one. i think you should keep it to avoid a lot of the problem that may arise with changing it.
Are u kidding me? You don't want to drop your maiden name and u got married,some are even wishing to be in your shoes,some men would allow you and some won't and since your husband says you should drop it,my dear drop it, don't allow this to cause issues in your marriage
MADAM, PLEASE IGNORE HIM! THIS IS UNREASONABLE MALE EGO AT PLAY. PLS TELME, HOW DOES IT AFFECT HIM? ARE YOU NOT BEARING HIS NAME AS WELL? HE HAS NO PLAUSIBLE REASON FOR MAKING THIS SILLY AND SELFISH DEMAND. CARRY ON WITH YOUR FAMILY NAME ALONGSIDE HIS ABEG!
Is the name far more important than a successful marriage?? Remove it and be submissive to your husband as you can see it means alot to him. Also,if roles were reversed,would you rather he does to you what you are doing too?
i just hate it when these foolish and selfish men think the whole world revolves around them!!! what is their in still bearing your maiden name,as long as you still bear his name? very stupid,selfish and egocentric set of men,my dear keep your name,nonsense!!!
If men are foolish and selfish pls do not marry ok. Bc if u do they will show u why u must tolerate foolishness and their selfishness. U dnt know better than ur God who made it to be so!
If I marry u...kip ur papas name and watch how I will kick ur dumb and sorry ass out of my house....if u love your papa name dearly...y did u consider marriage....ODE
Dis is part of d tins U both shud av talked abt while u were courting buh is 2 late now try 2 convince him and mk him undastand dat is not like u scrapped out his name nau, sum men are not undastanding @ all. 4 me I won't o is enuf I added ur name 2 mine I won't remove my maiden 4 eni rizon @ all. Bsides dat has 2 be u decision not his.
That was how a friend who has been married over a year, sent out a text invite that she was hosting a few friends on her birthday. At the end of the message she put her first name and her maiden name then put her husband's name in bracket. Everyone who received that text could not make send out of it. I personally called her to ask why she did that, and she claimed it would be easier for her friends to identify the sender. total complete nonsense.... u for stay for your papa house after marriage. #RUBBISH
REMOVE IT MY SISTER! Officially announce your new name on any of the tabloid. I dont know the procedures but I see em inside some of our national dailies & I believe all previous documents remain valid! THINK OF YOUR HOME FIRST! Me sef I no fit gree..
he is lucky you are even bearing his name at all. for something that doesnt have any historical backing, its really got some noise. please stick to your fathers name and his together. its best
Don't mind him ohh, be answering your maiden's name together with his own, Nonsence !!! He knows what he is doing if not I won't see any reason why that will start bordering him, look at our Finance Minister, Petroleum Minister, so many of them still retain their maiden name. Don't change it.
If you want to keep your father's name for business sake you should have stayed single or told the bros before you got married. You can't eat your cake and have it.
i dont understand why men are so egostical about that. how about them changing their name to ours???? explain to him uv had the name professionally and since ure bearing his name den there is no problem being recognised as his wife. everyone has the right tobear whatever name they wish!!!!!
Your husband must be an igbo man. Too bad. But nwanne, biko wepu the name o. it is so irrelevant to give you hbp in your young marriage. You remain your fathers beloved child nonetheless
When you were getting married you didn't realise that certain things change. Your are not married to your father but your husband. Please respect your husband as it is said in the bible. YOu all are one and by law, you bear his name else you will destroy your marriage in the name of profession.
Your husband is insecure and wants to lay claim to some things. That shouldn't be an issue at all if he is understanding bcos he will know how hard you've worked all d while b4 marrying him. I can't believe dis is even an issue in 2014? Mscheew smh.
I have a small quation for the woman,has he completed the marraige right? If yes u re ungreatful to ask such quation,and is ur mum answering her maiden's name if yes which means it runs in the blood ok
Divorce that bastard go marry ur father he will allow u keep ur maiden name, btw ur current husband did he just buy d milk? Or he also paid for the cow?
The thing is, if u try to make him see reasons wit u and he doesnt, and u knw it isnt ur father u ar married to but ur husband, and u feel like retaining ur marriage, den u will comply with him. But I wuldnt be dat selfish if i wr him
If this story is true then she is not serious.. didn't they court before marriage? This are topics you discuss and settle during courtship? Sorry dear... your hubby has spoken...
Its either your fathers name or your marriage. You have to pick one since youve got a choice. We are Africans! Lets stop copying the whites. Linda, as usual, its your choice to post this or not btw.
Personally I don't see anything wrong in it but since he isn't comfortable with it u can go for change of name and all ur previous documents will still be valid,after all dats what it should be u are no longer with ur dad and so adopt his name for peace sake
Dr Fred your father and mother are the idiots..... Bastard, your parents are nonentities to saddle us with a fool like you...u have no home training and an irritant to civil society....... Rude goat
U asking libers to advise you abi? So if they say dnt change ur name u really will follow their mouths abi? Ok naw! But common sense will tell u to change ur name for peace sake else another woman who is ready to change her name to not only ur husbands name but also his entire villagers name will take ur place soon.a word is enough for the wise
Shut up with your stupid mentality, so if he marries another woman her life will end abi? Women like u who make men think they r mini gods and treat women anyhow.... She has a legitimate concern and if she changes her name it's for peace to reign not that rubbish of another woman jumping on board as if men are indwspensable.. Na ur type go die for abusive marriage with ur fish brain
There is no law that says a woman must take her husband's name in Nigeria, It's just convention. People think there's a law that you must take the man's name but there's actually no law that states that. You can decide not to take his name, nobody will arrest you for that and it doesn't mean you are not married either.
pls if ur not matured enough to leave ur fathers name for ur husbands name, just stop been a nuisance n better go back n remain (NNA GA ANU). Timid girl chewwwwwww.
First thing first. If Ur dad isn't the President or Governor then you must be on some drugs to keep Ur maiden names. Oh I see, Ur profession is better than your FAM. Better u marry u job then. Ladies the main problem in our world today. Cheers. ENGR Emy
well my advice is you can drop your fathers name now, if you both had agreed b4 now that you will not drop your fathers name after marriage its a different case but since you didnt i will advice you drop your fathers name for the sake of peace and to show that you love and respect him..if you mother dropped her fathers name i see no reason why u shouldnt do the same...just my opinion tho...Dan Boiz Segun
well my advice is you can drop your fathers name now, if you both had agreed b4 now that you will not drop your fathers name after marriage its a different case but since you didnt i will advice you drop your fathers name for the sake of peace and to show that you love and respect him..if you mother dropped her fathers name i see no reason why u shouldnt do the same...just my opinion tho...Dan Boiz Segun
well my advice is you can drop your fathers name now, if you both had agreed b4 now that you will not drop your fathers name after marriage its a different case but since you didnt i will advice you drop your fathers name for the sake of peace and to show that you love and respect him..if you mother dropped her fathers name i see no reason why u shouldnt do the same...just my opinion tho...Dan Boiz Segun
If he is insisting then u av to stop bearing ur maiden name.That doesn't make u less of a daughter to ur parents.Gradually,ur new name wld become recognised professionally as ur name.So babe,no need to make a mountain out of a molehill.All d best...
Ar u blind or ar u deaf..simple remuv ur fathers name nd use he's name u can put up change on name in vanguard or do affidivit..haba u wan strt nw to cause prblm in ur marriage by yourslf,lata nw u will say ts ur mother inlaw..let me remind you people dey divorce a year or few months aftr marriage so dnt think it cnt cause divorce,cos lady it sure is..dnt cum here cryin u were divorcd although we libers allways have a listning ear
Your hubby is just being a bully, what's the big deal. All these local champion men sef. However, this is an issue u shld hv discussed with him bfor marriage. Women get so xcited planning d wedding, they forget to address vital issues. Even up to the church u will attend as a couple is key. Talk to him further.
As for me I didn't have. The intention to keep my maiden name, else we wld hv talked abt it.
FOR NAW SINCE U ARE MARRIED TO HIM, KINDLY REMOVE IT ELSE IT MIGHT AFFECT UR MARRIAGE OR EVEN LOSE UR MARRIAGE..HE IS UR HUSBAND SO DO WAT HE WANT SO AS TO MAKE HIM HAPPY
Just obey him and be submissive to him. U don't know if he is testing ur loyalty. Remember God and Father Abraham when he told him to sacrifice his only son.
Why you no marry your papa? Or better still, if you loved your father's name that much, why get married at all since it would hinder you from dropping the name you love so much #mumuritytins#... Linda baby, abeg on to the next story please!
Why no go for a change of name on news paper so u can make ur husbands name alone more official. I guess its better. ur husband deserves 2 be respected.
This's not an iSsue but if he's trying 2 make 1 out of dz plsss,ve a rethink..dts men 4u b4 d wedding they act understanding after d wedding they want Every1 2 know ur Now Their property some ll even order their wives around
Talk to him about it, u were not bought but married to him. Insecurity worry sorry men die, he probably wants u to know that he owes u. U too need to talk about it. Me i go retain my papa name die as my grandma did.
Under the Law a woman is at liberty to claim whatever names she so wished despite being married but I would advise you stick with the wish of your spouse cos of your marriage and despite the fact you have made your said names a "brand" for ten years. Love is all about compromise most of the time.
Is he an Ibo man? They are d ppl dat are imbibed with such character, they love been in control.4getting that marriage is for companionship αи∂ not for showing off of power..NOTE ::::am a confirmed Ibo gal so I knw wot am saying. Ma advice to u, if he insists that u remove ur naame, then I suggest u do dat, so peace will reign, u knw most guys can be unreasonable sometimes
That's a No-Brainer. Simply do a change of name by swearing an affidavit in court shikena! Your documents remains valid as long as you specify/clarify that in court.
Pls do it. You don't live in a feminist-run western society, so in Nigeria, a woman takes her husband's name. And since you didn't object to this before marriage, your husband has the right to expect it.
I didn't change to my married name straight away due to the long processes, and my husband is quite laid back about these things but even he insisted after a while that I should take on his name, and I did. It was my pleasure to, as it announces to the world that we are one.
You can always put your maiden name in brackets if you must, and unless you're Angelina Jolie-level famous, I'm sure your clients can handle a name change due to marriage without you losing any business.
God bless u, sensible lady. U will have a long and happy marriage. Ur husband and children will bless and be blessed by you. U will see ur grandchildren and reach the height of ur chosen career in Jesus name. Amen.
There is no big deal if your husband wants you to stop using your maiden name...before accepting to marry him, you agreed to all conditions so, kindly change to avoid an unhappy married life,
My dear sister, u r married now so biko if ur husband's request to leave out ur maiden name is what will bring peace into your home, why not do as he says because it is worth it. Your business colleagues who know u by your maiden name will surely get used to ur married name, my dear. U r married, gbam!!!
This is a dumb qestion.if she so much love her father's name y did she marry an African man?why did she not sort the issue out b4 marriage.some people jst allow irrelevant things 2 spoil their union.if u dnt want 2 change ur name pls divorce and remain in ur father's house. @edith
This is a no-brainer. This culture of ladies appending their maiden names to their husbands name is quite silly really.When you get married you should commit 100%, leave daddy's name with daddy!
This is a no-brainer. This culture of ladies appending their maiden names to their husbands names is quite silly really.When you get married you should commit 100%, leave daddy's name with daddy!
This is so true,Most men don't agree to retaining your father's name after marriage and it becomes a problem if you are already known with it,most especially if you are a blogger and people uses the name to search for your blog on google,Linda you and stella are mentioned in Angel Maryjane David new post on her blog.
Why you no marry your papa? Or better still, if you loved your father's name that much, why did you get married at all since it would hinder you from bearing the name you so love? #mumuritytinsabegmakewehearword#... Aunty Linda, on to the next story please.
I know many women who still retain their maiden names in their jobs and certificates cos its wat they have been using. Its not compulsory to change it.unless he is the one who trained you in school
try to make him see good reason why u still retain the name.you know men can be jealous at times make him to see that no matter what you can not go back to your parent the relationship is found on love and mutual respect for one another.i believe he will understand
Just seven months and his insisting on you removing ur maiden name I think he want to feel in charge....maybe ur maiden name is intimidating him and he feels he owns u now. why not talk to him and make him understand why u still have to retain your maiden name if he still insist then change it.
I wish for this as well, it's tradition in our culture and not just ours. But the world is changing...it just bothers me that women even while claiming to not be kept under this traditional formality never think men needs readjustment of their traditional role in a family..I.e the main provider.
You are seekin for advice ryt? I wil advice u shaa bt bfor then, I want u to knw that u are very very stupid and foolish! Then my advice is dz: che u don use ur name professionaly for centuries? Wonderful! Just choose btw ur profession nd ur marriage! It answers ur questions. Linda no dey cari evry rubish dey post for ur blog jare.
You guys should've discussed that before marriage. I too still go by my maiden name and my husband is okay with it and we have 3 kids. It's a big deal to some men and unnecessary to some.
All in the guise of women emancipation and modernisation, ladies now start giving themselves headache over non issues... You have used ur father's name professionally for 10 years and so what?... All the billions of women all over the world who change their names after marriage, how has that stopped them from being professionals... Now she wants to create a storm in her marriage during dry season all because she wants to change societal standards and be different..
I swear, a lot of women just have misplaced priorities..
Beware of the sheep in wolves clothing who tells you that you can keep your maiden name and then ask you to change it in church right after you sign the marriage register.
In Nigeria, it is generally expected of a woman to bear her husband's name. Since it's a big deal for you, you should have settled it BEFORE marriage. ***Mrs D***
Before nko? Did u marry your Husband or your papa? You better make up your mind o. So many eagles dey out there who do not need too much persuasion to disown their family just to bear a man's name o.
But what is wrong with keeping ur maiden name? Some men tho..after all his name is also included in ur names. What is the big deal please? People just create unnecessary problems for themselves. Some men just want to feel they own their wifes.
Please leave him alone! Afterall a dildo can do better for you, what he can, and there are millions of adoptable children you can have to even enlarge your father's and career's ID. My problem is why you'll desprately seek for someone to blackmail in the name ' times have changed'!!!
What is this world turning into, getting married and answering ur husband's name shouldn't be a subject of discussion, it's d right thing to do, it's d pride of every woman. We keep trying to copy d western world that their marriages don't last. My dear drop ur fathers name and answer ur husband's, you will make greater fame with ur husbands name trust me, marriage is a good thing ordained by God and its says clearly without any doubts that a woman should submit. My dear friend pls submit totally to d laws of marriage and u will experience a divine uplifting by God.
What is this world turning into, getting married and answering ur husband's name shouldn't be a subject of discussion, it's d right thing to do, it's d pride of every woman. We keep trying to copy d western world that their marriages don't last. My dear drop ur fathers name and answer ur husband's, you will make greater fame with ur husbands name trust me, marriage is a good thing ordained by God and its says clearly without any doubts that a woman should submit. My dear friend pls submit totally to d laws of marriage and u will experience a divine uplifting by God.
You know this is nig and they make a big deal of it,If you want to keep your maiden them,hope you will keep the bills too and keep the children's financial needs when they come.This is 2014 only applies to women but nobody would say this is 2014 when the man is not providing since you're madam career. I'm not in nig but I'm disgusted when I see women over here join names! But their own over here is different,marriage to them is like trial and error, they walk in and walk out so they have a reason for keeping their maiden names.as for us,marriage is for life, although it's changing now and it saddens me big time.Trust me the Westerners truly wish they did not get to the point they are now and they envy our stable lives and rich culture.Africa would always copy rubbish and Nigeria is their leader.Hillary Clinton that changed her name nko,is she less powerful.im sure if your husband's last name was Dangote or okoya and they address you by your maiden name, you will want to sue them or you will be quick to inform that you re married,not minding your profession.biko change the name or marry your father.
I am married but I haven't changed my name nor do I even use my husbands name with my last name. Not a big deal to me. A lot of Nigerians are stuck up on things that are really not important. If you want to keep your maiden name in addition to your husbands name, go ahead.
Wat is all dis? d guy should see the likes of joke silva After years of married And still held on to her maiden name And the marriage is flourishing...she is bearing ur name is wat is important.. we Are evolving things are changing for instance dangote's getting married and u ordering her to drop d name do u know aw many doors that name opens...kindly come to an Agreement.........Linda don't try me ooo.POST
He's bossy and insecure. Don't change it. He'll keep asking you to alter everything that's important to you until you don't recognize yourself anymore.
There are instances in which based on the professional renown it is best to stick with your maiden name. I do not know what you do for a living, but if you have a clear professional identity with your name then you have every right to keep it.
I am so sick and tired of this system where it is on the shoulders of women to constantly be giving up something to please men. Wtf has your husband given up for this marriage? I swear except for giving birth to children marriage is of no use to women, especially women who are accomplished and do not require a man economically. Ain't shit in it for us most of the time. Nuh man marriage benefit through and through, and children. Ain't shit in it for women. #spiritoflilith
Don't you guys court?cos this is one out of 100 topic you both should have settled••now a small block is turning to a mountain*sarcasm* He is Just been selfish nd unreasonable••the fact that you have used it for all ya vital document should made him understand••anyway you are married to him not the other way••#GiftedDiva#281d27a4
I usually don't comment on posts but to peruse through comments and humor myself with peeps' bizarre perspective on issues...
Nonetheless, you have a problem you'd like to address and some set of peeps are busy here referring to your HUSBAND as a "fool", "egocentric","bully"...etc(sentiments of which i"m sure you don't share) instead of offering you invaluable advice.
I think you know the set of peeps you'd take their comments seriously....
for those of you cursing and calling the young man names, please stop; he's someone's hubby. This is marriage, these two are supposed to be one. traditionally and religiously speaking, you are supposed to drop your father's name; he's not taking care of you anymore, your hubby is. try to understand.
Another thing is, people, this is the 21st century, agreed, but this is Africa and we have more successful marriages than those people you are tryin to copy. No married person here would advise this young woman to keep her maiden name...
IF YOU WANT TO KEEP THE NAME DON'T MARRY FULLSTOP. IF HE IS THE KIND OF GUY WHO WANTS YOU U BEAR ONLY HIS NAME DIDN'T U KNOW BEFORE U JUMPED INTO SAY I DO. SOME LADIES ARE JUST SILLY. NEXT PLEASE
To ask for public opinion on this is rather stupid. You have to decide from the word go if you want to marry or not. It is encouraged that you share love and intimacy in marriage . That does not include sharing equality. To think of that is a joke carried too far. We take a trip from our remote villages to America and instantly we want to be more American than the Americans. If your husband thinks otherwise, please remove your maiden name or else continue to enjoy the bliss of spinsterhood. Women libers are confusionists who offer you no good. Most of them do not have good marriages and are desperately lookin for easy converts.Peiod!
I am married and bear my husband's name but some of documents are still in my maiden name. I have been married for 5yrs plus and name change has never been an issue. He should not make it an issue. The way marriages are going these days is something goes wrong ,it is the woman that starts rebranding back to her maiden name. Some men even embarrass you to stop using their name once the marriage goes sour.Please retain your maiden name alongside your husband's name if that's what gives you peace of mind. Your man should stop feeling threatend or insecure. There are more issues to focus on in marriage. Just act wisely. Don't engage him in any arguement over it. Remain calm,it will soon be overtaken by more pressing issues.
You should have found a man that doesn't mind before taking the oath of submission in marriage. This is the problem of the world today, people just want to marry because every other person is doing it, they don't care to follow the oaths they proclaim to. If you don't want to drop your maiden name, don't get married. It's simple. Must you marry? You want to eat your cake and have it.
Pls remove your name and let the devil be ashamed! Dont you know that when marrying the man, you signed off your maiden name for your husband's? Please do the right thing and stop making mountains out of mole hills.
ReplyDeleteWell, talk to him and let him know what you feel about it, and well if he insist still, I'm afraid you should just change it or call it a quit.
ReplyDeleteQuit? Did u just ask her to quit her marriage over a change to her maiden name? She doesn't need to quit. She should change it if her husband does not agree wit the way she uses it now.
DeleteAre u ok??? Call what a quit. Problems can be resolved without separating. She should change her name. They won't sack her for that.
DeleteIf that is what he wants and you love your marriage do what he says and he would also do what you want from him in no time.if he refuse you then think seriouly about staying or leaving the marriage.
ReplyDeleteCooldavoe@yahoo.com
Random question; how long did you guys court because this is part of the things you should have sorted out before marriage. But since you didn't do so, then check does it really hurt him deep. If it does then do it. Its part of the sacrifices you make in a marriage.
ReplyDeleteRandom question; how long did you guys court because this is part of the things you should have sorted out before marriage. But since you didn't do so, then check does it really hurt him deep. If it does then do it. Its part of the sacrifices you make in a marriage.
ReplyDeleteRandom question; how long did you guys court because this is part of the things you should have sorted out before marriage. But since you didn't do so, then check does it really hurt him deep. If it does then do it. Its part of the sacrifices you make in a marriage.
ReplyDeleteBabe talk to him,haba, It's already a brand name. Ogunaomi@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteWhat's branded about it? You marry into the IBRU family, wuld u change your name or not?
DeleteMen!!!
ReplyDeleteCultures and traditions of different tribes varies. In our own case I.e de Igbos, u have 2 drop ur maiden name. I don't really knw ur tribe but since ur husband insisted dat u have 2 drop it den go ahead and do it and save ur marriage. Inform everyone of de change and continue with ur life. This shouldn't be an issue. I'm out. ***CATCH ME IF U CAN***
ReplyDeleteMake him understand. If you both understand yourselves well, I'm sure you will reach an agreeable conclusion.
ReplyDeleteIs your husband ask him deeply why ge did that and don't make a super big deal out of it. Jopeyemi@gmail.com BBM 32F0BEFB
ReplyDeleteRubbish!!! De guy no pay for ur head? remove ur papa name there jor and do a change of name in court and publish it in any news paper abd ur documents remains valid...
ReplyDeleteU've used it professionally which also includes ur passport n all. Ur identification.....sorry if I may ask, is ur husband ok? Is he from dat tribe? Answer ur papa name de go....
ReplyDeleteBitch be talking about a PASSPORT.. have you seen a passport before?..do you know what it looks like? #Aswin omo
Deleteyou Husband should realize this is the 21st century. Dont fight him over it make him see reasons and pray about it. A lot of influential women keep their maiden names, for so many reasons and i think yours is a valid one. i think you should keep it to avoid a lot of the problem that may arise with changing it.
ReplyDeletePlease name the influential women that keep their maiden names
DeleteAre u kidding me? You don't want to drop your maiden name and u got married,some are even wishing to be in your shoes,some men would allow you and some won't and since your husband says you should drop it,my dear drop it, don't allow this to cause issues in your marriage
ReplyDeleteRetain the name and move back to your father's house. Don't come here to disturb other people's peace, i na-anu?
ReplyDeleteLMAOOO
DeleteMADAM, PLEASE IGNORE HIM! THIS IS UNREASONABLE MALE EGO AT PLAY. PLS TELME, HOW DOES IT AFFECT HIM? ARE YOU NOT BEARING HIS NAME AS WELL? HE HAS NO PLAUSIBLE REASON FOR MAKING THIS SILLY AND SELFISH DEMAND. CARRY ON WITH YOUR FAMILY NAME ALONGSIDE HIS ABEG!
ReplyDeleteYou must be single
DeleteIs the name far more important than a successful marriage?? Remove it and be submissive to your husband as you can see it means alot to him. Also,if roles were reversed,would you rather he does to you what you are doing too?
ReplyDeletePeople change names everyday. It wont stop people from knowing you...ur married to your husband , not your father. Change it and allow peace reign.
ReplyDeleteI concur completely.
Deletedo it is nothing...nkemdirimeverista111@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteIf you can't drop your father's name, go back to your father's house..
ReplyDeleteHe now owns u so u hv to do what he wants
ReplyDeleteChange it for peace to reign
ReplyDeleteREMOVE IT>>>>idiot.mschwww. so if they know u by it nko ? its the new you stop making a fuss over nothing.
ReplyDeleteEs insecure!!! Shikena
ReplyDeleteDo as he say
ReplyDeleteHe's right, since you're married
BORN TO SHINE!!!!
i just hate it when these foolish and selfish men think the whole world revolves around them!!! what is their in still bearing your maiden name,as long as you still bear his name? very stupid,selfish and egocentric set of men,my dear keep your name,nonsense!!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteIf men are foolish and selfish pls do not marry ok. Bc if u do they will show u why u must tolerate foolishness and their selfishness. U dnt know better than ur God who made it to be so!
DeleteIf I marry u...kip ur papas name and watch how I will kick ur dumb and sorry ass out of my house....if u love your papa name dearly...y did u consider marriage....ODE
DeleteThat's rubbish,is it his you're marrying or him?plz insist and don't let him push you around
ReplyDeleteRetain ur maiden name Nne, and pls tell him dat that generation has passed.
ReplyDeleteDis 1 pass me.. I understand her point. . Bt if u dnt remove ur maiden name nw wen will u do it.. jus remove it for love..
ReplyDeleteMy dear it's not a big deal,change it! Dis is wat people do everyday...
ReplyDeleteDis is part of d tins U both shud av talked abt while u were courting buh is 2 late now try 2 convince him and mk him undastand dat is not like u scrapped out his name nau, sum men are not undastanding @ all. 4 me I won't o is enuf I added ur name 2 mine I won't remove my maiden 4 eni rizon @ all. Bsides dat has 2 be u decision not his.
ReplyDeleteIi don't think this shd b debated, when u get married in this part of the world, u dispose of ur father's name.... except you want to marrybur father
ReplyDeleteSome women like fight pass quarrel.
ReplyDelete~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA
That was how a friend who has been married over a year, sent out a text invite that she was hosting a few friends on her birthday. At the end of the message she put her first name and her maiden name then put her husband's name in bracket. Everyone who received that text could not make send out of it. I personally called her to ask why she did that, and she claimed it would be easier for her friends to identify the sender. total complete nonsense.... u for stay for your papa house after marriage. #RUBBISH
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't u marry your brothers to retain your maiden name? Go comot am sharply joor!!!
ReplyDeleteREMOVE IT MY SISTER! Officially announce your new name on any of the tabloid. I dont know the procedures but I see em inside some of our national dailies & I believe all previous documents remain valid! THINK OF YOUR HOME FIRST! Me sef I no fit gree..
ReplyDeleteRP
he is lucky you are even bearing his name at all. for something that doesnt have any historical backing, its really got some noise. please stick to your fathers name and his together. its best
ReplyDeleteDon't mind him ohh, be answering your maiden's name together with his own, Nonsence !!! He knows what he is doing if not I won't see any reason why that will start bordering him, look at our Finance Minister, Petroleum Minister, so many of them still retain their maiden name. Don't change it.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to keep your father's name for business sake you should have stayed single or told the bros before you got married. You can't eat your cake and have it.
ReplyDeleteWhy? Is he not man enough? Keep your maiden name and dump his. Or keep both. It's your name, he shouldn't have a say.
ReplyDeleteRmove ur maiden or go back to ur parent's house and cont u singlehustler... smH
ReplyDeleteRemain single if you can't remove the name or go marry your father
ReplyDeletethen do it..patoswife@gmail.com
ReplyDeletei dont understand why men are so egostical about that. how about them changing their name to ours???? explain to him uv had the name professionally and since ure bearing his name den there is no problem being recognised as his wife. everyone has the right tobear whatever name they wish!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDullard!!
DeleteYour husband must be an igbo man. Too bad. But nwanne, biko wepu the name o. it is so irrelevant to give you hbp in your young marriage.
ReplyDeleteYou remain your fathers beloved child nonetheless
Forget ur profession and follow husband......dats how u people start unnecessary problems
ReplyDeleteu dey mad ni? comon bear his name only jare, na u pay ur bride price? spoilt pikin!
ReplyDeleteWhen you were getting married you didn't realise that certain things change. Your are not married to your father but your husband. Please respect your husband as it is said in the bible. YOu all are one and by law, you bear his name else you will destroy your marriage in the name of profession.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is insecure and wants to lay claim to some things. That shouldn't be an issue at all if he is understanding bcos he will know how hard you've worked all d while b4 marrying him.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe dis is even an issue in 2014? Mscheew smh.
Guess for peace to reign.you should do so.
ReplyDeleteNothing is wrong in keeping ur maiden name, bit since ur husband did not lyk it my dear better stick to his name, to avoid cold war at home
ReplyDeleteI have a small quation for the woman,has he completed the marraige right? If yes u re ungreatful to ask such quation,and is ur mum answering her maiden's name if yes which means it runs in the blood ok
ReplyDeleteU are a local idiot.. Get some exposure in life
DeleteDivorce that bastard go marry ur father he will allow u keep ur maiden name, btw ur current husband did he just buy d milk? Or he also paid for the cow?
ReplyDeleteWht is wroug with men of nw adays? She is ur wife nt ur slave tht u order around let it cm natural she will change it whn the time comes.
ReplyDeleteThe thing is, if u try to make him see reasons wit u and he doesnt, and u knw it isnt ur father u ar married to but ur husband, and u feel like retaining ur marriage, den u will comply with him. But I wuldnt be dat selfish if i wr him
ReplyDeleteIf he likes #bright bravo#
ReplyDeleteGo back and marry your father naa.
ReplyDeleteI dont see anything wrong with that, but if he insist, then you obey him
ReplyDeletedanskila1@gmail.com
If this story is true then she is not serious.. didn't they court before marriage? This are topics you discuss and settle during courtship? Sorry dear... your hubby has spoken...
ReplyDeleteIts either your fathers name or your marriage. You have to pick one since youve got a choice. We are Africans! Lets stop copying the whites. Linda, as usual, its your choice to post this or not btw.
ReplyDeleteIts easy... Remove the maiden name and let everyone knw. Those who knw yu with the former will still knw yu.
ReplyDeletePersonally I don't see anything wrong in it but since he isn't comfortable with it u can go for change of name and all ur previous documents will still be valid,after all dats what it should be u are no longer with ur dad and so adopt his name for peace sake
ReplyDeletemy dear u av no choice in that matter and u know so
ReplyDeleteLols that's Nigerian man 4 u everything matters 2 dam jst do as he says since u can't convince him marydanladi180@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteThen remove it and have peace b4 someone else remove hers 4 him
ReplyDeleteAsk your father why your mother dropped her maiden name! IDIOT!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDr Fred your father and mother are the idiots..... Bastard, your parents are nonentities to saddle us with a fool like you...u have no home training and an irritant to civil society....... Rude goat
DeleteU asking libers to advise you abi? So if they say dnt change ur name u really will follow their mouths abi? Ok naw! But common sense will tell u to change ur name for peace sake else another woman who is ready to change her name to not only ur husbands name but also his entire villagers name will take ur place soon.a word is enough for the wise
ReplyDeleteShut up with your stupid mentality, so if he marries another woman her life will end abi? Women like u who make men think they r mini gods and treat women anyhow.... She has a legitimate concern and if she changes her name it's for peace to reign not that rubbish of another woman jumping on board as if men are indwspensable.. Na ur type go die for abusive marriage with ur fish brain
DeleteSilly you, even ppl better than you change their names after marriage
ReplyDeleteCommon go and change that name. Better yet, why don't u go back to being single since u've been single for a long time,,professional lady
ReplyDeleteThere is no law that says a woman must take her husband's name in Nigeria, It's just convention. People think there's a law that you must take the man's name but there's actually no law that states that. You can decide not to take his name, nobody will arrest you for that and it doesn't mean you are not married either.
ReplyDeleteThere is also no law that says that you are mumu but we all know you are one
Deletepls if ur not matured enough to leave ur fathers name for ur husbands name, just stop been a nuisance n better go back n remain (NNA GA ANU). Timid girl chewwwwwww.
ReplyDeleteFirst thing first. If Ur dad isn't the President or Governor then you must be on some drugs to keep Ur maiden names. Oh I see, Ur profession is better than your FAM. Better u marry u job then. Ladies the main problem in our world today. Cheers. ENGR Emy
ReplyDeletewhy not marry ur father. Ewu congo. U are waiting for jonathan to tell u before u will remv ur father's name.
ReplyDeleteI will say he's doing it out of jealousy,try to make him understand the reasons u need to keep ur maiden name
ReplyDeleteMy advice to u is to obey your husband,
ReplyDeleteMadam simple change and answer only ur husband na, y did u marry if u do not want to change ur name? All this women of dis days na wa ooh
ReplyDeletewell my advice is you can drop your fathers name now, if you both had agreed b4 now that you will not drop your fathers name after marriage its a different case but since you didnt i will advice you drop your fathers name for the sake of peace and to show that you love and respect him..if you mother dropped her fathers name i see no reason why u shouldnt do the same...just my opinion tho...Dan Boiz Segun
ReplyDeletewell my advice is you can drop your fathers name now, if you both had agreed b4 now that you will not drop your fathers name after marriage its a different case but since you didnt i will advice you drop your fathers name for the sake of peace and to show that you love and respect him..if you mother dropped her fathers name i see no reason why u shouldnt do the same...just my opinion tho...Dan Boiz Segun
ReplyDeletewell my advice is you can drop your fathers name now, if you both had agreed b4 now that you will not drop your fathers name after marriage its a different case but since you didnt i will advice you drop your fathers name for the sake of peace and to show that you love and respect him..if you mother dropped her fathers name i see no reason why u shouldnt do the same...just my opinion tho...Dan Boiz Segun
ReplyDeleteIf he is insisting then u av to stop bearing ur maiden name.That doesn't make u less of a daughter to ur parents.Gradually,ur new name wld become recognised professionally as ur name.So babe,no need to make a mountain out of a molehill.All d best...
ReplyDeleteAsk him why he insists.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think its just another way men try to subjugate women.
I sure say na Esan man.
Na pride dey kill you. Shey u didnt know what u were signing for before you got married? WOmen with their funny and stupid attitude sha.
ReplyDeleteI'm on your side, nothing wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteAr u blind or ar u deaf..simple remuv ur fathers name nd use he's name u can put up change on name in vanguard or do affidivit..haba u wan strt nw to cause prblm in ur marriage by yourslf,lata nw u will say ts ur mother inlaw..let me remind you people dey divorce a year or few months aftr marriage so dnt think it cnt cause divorce,cos lady it sure is..dnt cum here cryin u were divorcd although we libers allways have a listning ear
ReplyDeleteYour hubby is just being a bully, what's the big deal. All these local champion men sef. However, this is an issue u shld hv discussed with him bfor marriage. Women get so xcited planning d wedding, they forget to address vital issues. Even up to the church u will attend as a couple is key. Talk to him further.
ReplyDeleteAs for me I didn't have. The intention to keep my maiden name, else we wld hv talked abt it.
FOR NAW SINCE U ARE MARRIED TO HIM, KINDLY REMOVE IT ELSE IT MIGHT AFFECT UR MARRIAGE OR EVEN LOSE UR MARRIAGE..HE IS UR HUSBAND SO DO WAT HE WANT SO AS TO MAKE HIM HAPPY
ReplyDeleteD bible u and ur husband re "ONE"..so if u don't want to do as he says u can go back to ur fathers house and remain single...QED
ReplyDeleteJust obey him and be submissive to him. U don't know if he is testing ur loyalty. Remember God and Father Abraham when he told him to sacrifice his only son.
ReplyDeletewomen always dragging shoulders. ....he does not like it...simple! or u choice between ur husband and ur father's name....via 79BBA6DD
ReplyDeleteBeen married for five years and my wife bears her father's name.I hv no qualms about it.
ReplyDeleteWhy you no marry your papa? Or better still, if you loved your father's name that much, why get married at all since it would hinder you from dropping the name you love so much #mumuritytins#... Linda baby, abeg on to the next story please!
ReplyDeleteAnd y is ur husband sounding as if he's done u a great favour by marrying u? Men sha!! Shey. Na hin pay ur school fees all 2Ru??
ReplyDeleteSince he didn't pay her school fees, she should go and marry the person that did. Funny unreasonable comment
DeleteWhy no go for a change of name on news paper so u can make ur husbands name alone more official. I guess its better. ur husband deserves 2 be respected.
ReplyDeleteBeg him n explain,me sha mst bear my father's name,I dnt v a middle name so it will automatically b my middle name den my busbands name will follow
ReplyDeleteThis's not an iSsue but if he's trying 2 make 1 out of dz plsss,ve a rethink..dts men 4u b4 d wedding they act understanding after d wedding they want Every1 2 know ur Now Their property some ll even order their wives around
ReplyDeleteTalk to him about it, u were not bought but married to him. Insecurity worry sorry men die, he probably wants u to know that he owes u. U too need to talk about it. Me i go retain my papa name die as my grandma did.
ReplyDeleteUnder the Law a woman is at liberty to claim whatever names she so wished despite being married but I would advise you stick with the wish of your spouse cos of your marriage and despite the fact you have made your said names a "brand" for ten years. Love is all about compromise most of the time.
ReplyDeleteJust try 2 convince him @ least most married women are still using their maiden name just bcos pple know d name with what they are doing 4 living.
ReplyDeleteIs he an Ibo man? They are d ppl dat are imbibed with such character, they love been in control.4getting that marriage is for companionship αи∂ not for showing off of power..NOTE ::::am a confirmed Ibo gal so I knw wot am saying. Ma advice to u, if he insists that u remove ur naame, then I suggest u do dat, so peace will reign, u knw most guys can be unreasonable sometimes
ReplyDeleteDivorce him and you can answer your father's name for as long as you want.
ReplyDeleteDivorce him and send him my number...I'm searching for an husband...
ReplyDeleteB4 u knw knw say u go remove am.ekwuruibea@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteIf he insist.. Remove it k. He is ur husband.
ReplyDeleteRemove it na.
ReplyDeleteWell my dear u r married and dats wat ur hubby want so u ve to do as he says ok!!
ReplyDeleteThat's a No-Brainer. Simply do a change of name by swearing an affidavit in court shikena! Your documents remains valid as long as you specify/clarify that in court.
ReplyDeletePls do it. You don't live in a feminist-run western society, so in Nigeria, a woman takes her husband's name. And since you didn't object to this before marriage, your husband has the right to expect it.
ReplyDeleteI didn't change to my married name straight away due to the long processes, and my husband is quite laid back about these things but even he insisted after a while that I should take on his name, and I did. It was my pleasure to, as it announces to the world that we are one.
You can always put your maiden name in brackets if you must, and unless you're Angelina Jolie-level famous, I'm sure your clients can handle a name change due to marriage without you losing any business.
Kimmy *****
God bless u, sensible lady. U will have a long and happy marriage. Ur husband and children will bless and be blessed by you. U will see ur grandchildren and reach the height of ur chosen career in Jesus name. Amen.
DeleteGod bless you for this comment. Most sensible comment yet
DeleteYour husband is a fool! He thinks he owns you i bet. I am even sure he is Igbo cause that's how most of them behave.
ReplyDeleteSue him to court*yawn and climbs my bed*glo for life
ReplyDeleteThere is no big deal if your husband wants you to stop using your maiden name...before accepting to marry him, you agreed to all conditions so, kindly change to avoid an unhappy married life,
ReplyDeleteMy dear sister, u r married now so biko if ur husband's request to leave out ur maiden name is what will bring peace into your home, why not do as he says because it is worth it. Your business colleagues who know u by your maiden name will surely get used to ur married name, my dear. U r married, gbam!!!
ReplyDeleteIs dis one a fool ni. did he marry u for free?
ReplyDeletedo wat u husband says to avoid nsogbu he must have his reasons
ReplyDeleteAs aa married woman, uo hv to. Chng ur name frm any media center (news paper org) n all doc remains valid. Pretex4luv@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteThis is a dumb qestion.if she so much love her father's name y did she marry an African man?why did she not sort the issue out b4 marriage.some people jst allow irrelevant things 2 spoil their union.if u dnt want 2 change ur name pls divorce and remain in ur father's house.
ReplyDelete@edith
This is a no-brainer. This culture of ladies appending their maiden names to their husbands name is quite silly really.When you get married you should commit 100%, leave daddy's name with daddy!
ReplyDeleteThis is a no-brainer. This culture of ladies appending their maiden names to their husbands names is quite silly really.When you get married you should commit 100%, leave daddy's name with daddy!
ReplyDeleteLinda, u sure say no be you sha. Because your name is on all the blogs. Lol...u married and didnt tell the people who love you the most?
ReplyDeleteThis is so true,Most men don't agree to retaining your father's name after marriage and it becomes a problem if you are already known with it,most especially if you are a blogger and people uses the name to search for your blog on google,Linda you and stella are mentioned in Angel Maryjane David new post on her blog.
ReplyDeleteWhy you no marry your papa? Or better still, if you loved your father's name that much, why did you get married at all since it would hinder you from bearing the name you so love? #mumuritytinsabegmakewehearword#... Aunty Linda, on to the next story please.
ReplyDeleteGive it up baby. Remove it unless you are the one that paid his bride prize o.
ReplyDeleteEither you revert to his name or go back to your father's house !!!!!! If your father is very important den no need staying married
ReplyDeleteEither you bear his name and his name only OR go back to your father'a house !!! You can't enjoy both worlds
ReplyDeletewhy can't u marry ur father then.Abeg park well
ReplyDeleteI know many women who still retain their maiden names in their jobs and certificates cos its wat they have been using. Its not compulsory to change it.unless he is the one who trained you in school
ReplyDeleteIts ur fada dat married u abi? or u didn't knw dat ud be married someday? Oponu oshi! Be forming joke silva and angelina jolie...olodo!
ReplyDeleteAbeg do wat ur hubby said 4 peace 2 rain after all he owns u nw more dan ur people. No big deal
ReplyDeletetry to make him see good reason why u still retain the name.you know men can be jealous at times make him to see that no matter what you can not go back to your parent the relationship is found on love and mutual respect for one another.i believe he will understand
ReplyDeleteRemove it na
ReplyDeleteJust seven months and his insisting on you removing ur maiden name I think he want to feel in charge....maybe ur maiden name is intimidating him and he feels he owns u now. why not talk to him and make him understand why u still have to retain your maiden name if he still insist then change it.
ReplyDeleteI wish for this as well, it's tradition in our culture and not just ours. But the world is changing...it just bothers me that women even while claiming to not be kept under this traditional formality never think men needs readjustment of their traditional role in a family..I.e the main provider.
ReplyDeleteYou Are No More Under Your Dad ooo, So Remove It As Bros Commanded ooooo.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong with it. I use my husband's name along with my father's officially. Its just on paper
ReplyDeleteYou are seekin for advice ryt? I wil advice u shaa bt bfor then, I want u to knw that u are very very stupid and foolish! Then my advice is dz: che u don use ur name professionaly for centuries? Wonderful! Just choose btw ur profession nd ur marriage! It answers ur questions. Linda no dey cari evry rubish dey post for ur blog jare.
ReplyDeleteHe's being selfish. It shouldn't be a problem. Talk it out.
ReplyDeleteDear future husband, I'm keepin my surname! Wit or without ur consent
ReplyDeleteNa ur choice i would rather she bears my last name but this days marriage no dey last make she do whatever i no send marriage
Deletedear dumbo anonymous please dont only hold on to ur surname, also hold on to ur fathers house till ur 80yrs!!
DeleteWives, be submissive to your husbands. That includes obeying and respecting him.
ReplyDeleteYou guys should've discussed that before marriage.
ReplyDeleteI too still go by my maiden name and my husband is okay with it and we have 3 kids. It's a big deal to some men and unnecessary to some.
~~ZZ
Stop posting n askn stupid n useless questions......... Y get married since u knw u dnt want 2 answer his name? Foolish idiot
ReplyDeletezThis guy seem pretty controlling , pretty soon he will beating your butt . You better not change your maiden name! Its part of you .
ReplyDeleteAll in the guise of women emancipation and modernisation, ladies now start giving themselves headache over non issues... You have used ur father's name professionally for 10 years and so what?... All the billions of women all over the world who change their names after marriage, how has that stopped them from being professionals... Now she wants to create a storm in her marriage during dry season all because she wants to change societal standards and be different..
ReplyDeleteI swear, a lot of women just have misplaced priorities..
WTH! Remove ur maiden name osiso!! What r u talking about? He even waited 7months? She-man!
ReplyDeleteBeware of the sheep in wolves clothing who tells you that you can keep your maiden name and then ask you to change it in church right after you sign the marriage register.
ReplyDeleteTypical Ibo man n their menality.
ReplyDeleteTypical Ibo man n their small mentality. Tk heart dear,it is well w u
ReplyDeleteIn Nigeria, it is generally expected of a woman to bear her husband's name. Since it's a big deal for you, you should have settled it BEFORE marriage. ***Mrs D***
ReplyDeleteDid anyone ask at a question? Next!
ReplyDeleteBefore nko? Did u marry your Husband or your papa? You better make up your mind o. So many eagles dey out there who do not need too much persuasion to disown their family just to bear a man's name o.
ReplyDeleteIts for insecured men!
ReplyDeleteSubmit and stop contesting it.
ReplyDeleteAnd the two shall be one. This is not suppose to be an issue, you should know that your role is to submit
ReplyDelete"...With or without.." Huh? I can see ur future...65year old depressed suicidal spinster..
ReplyDeleteBut what is wrong with keeping ur maiden name? Some men tho..after all his name is also included in ur names. What is the big deal please? People just create unnecessary problems for themselves. Some men just want to feel they own their wifes.
ReplyDeletePlease leave him alone! Afterall a dildo can do better for you, what he can, and there are millions of adoptable children you can have to even enlarge your father's and career's ID. My problem is why you'll desprately seek for someone to blackmail in the name ' times have changed'!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat is this world turning into, getting married and answering ur husband's name shouldn't be a subject of discussion, it's d right thing to do, it's d pride of every woman. We keep trying to copy d western world that their marriages don't last. My dear drop ur fathers name and answer ur husband's, you will make greater fame with ur husbands name trust me, marriage is a good thing ordained by God and its says clearly without any doubts that a woman should submit. My dear friend pls submit totally to d laws of marriage and u will experience a divine uplifting by God.
ReplyDeleteWhat is this world turning into, getting married and answering ur husband's name shouldn't be a subject of discussion, it's d right thing to do, it's d pride of every woman. We keep trying to copy d western world that their marriages don't last. My dear drop ur fathers name and answer ur husband's, you will make greater fame with ur husbands name trust me, marriage is a good thing ordained by God and its says clearly without any doubts that a woman should submit. My dear friend pls submit totally to d laws of marriage and u will experience a divine uplifting by God.
ReplyDeleteYou know this is nig and they make a big deal of it,If you want to keep your maiden them,hope you will keep the bills too and keep the children's financial needs when they come.This is 2014 only applies to women but nobody would say this is 2014 when the man is not providing since you're madam career. I'm not in nig but I'm disgusted when I see women over here join names! But their own over here is different,marriage to them is like trial and error, they walk in and walk out so they have a reason for keeping their maiden names.as for us,marriage is for life, although it's changing now and it saddens me big time.Trust me the Westerners truly wish they did not get to the point they are now and they envy our stable lives and rich culture.Africa would always copy rubbish and Nigeria is their leader.Hillary Clinton that changed her name nko,is she less powerful.im sure if your husband's last name was Dangote or okoya and they address you by your maiden name, you will want to sue them or you will be quick to inform that you re married,not minding your profession.biko change the name or marry your father.
ReplyDeleteI am married but I haven't changed my name nor do I even use my husbands name with my last name. Not a big deal to me. A lot of Nigerians are stuck up on things that are really not important. If you want to keep your maiden name in addition to your husbands name, go ahead.
ReplyDeleteChange it
ReplyDeleteNa divorce tinz sure pass!!!!!
ReplyDeleteNa divorce tinz sure pass!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWat is all dis? d guy should see the likes of joke silva After years of married And still held on to her maiden name And the marriage is flourishing...she is bearing ur name is wat is important.. we Are evolving things are changing for instance dangote's getting married and u ordering her to drop d name do u know aw many doors that name opens...kindly come to an Agreement.........Linda don't try me ooo.POST
ReplyDeleteHe's bossy and insecure. Don't change it. He'll keep asking you to alter everything that's important to you until you don't recognize yourself anymore.
ReplyDeleteThings like this are better discussed before the marriage itself,u really dont have a choice anymore as u didnt sort it out b4 gettin married.
ReplyDeleteThere are instances in which based on the professional renown it is best to stick with your maiden name. I do not know what you do for a living, but if you have a clear professional identity with your name then you have every right to keep it.
ReplyDeleteI am so sick and tired of this system where it is on the shoulders of women to constantly be giving up something to please men. Wtf has your husband given up for this marriage? I swear except for giving birth to children marriage is of no use to women, especially women who are accomplished and do not require a man economically. Ain't shit in it for us most of the time. Nuh man marriage benefit through and through, and children. Ain't shit in it for women. #spiritoflilith
Whether man or woman, never let your pride/status be bigger than your relationship, if he or she is worth it, then don't let pride destroy it...
ReplyDeleteCos wen he or she sees you for who you are....
Don't you guys court?cos this is one out of 100 topic you both should have settled••now a small block is turning to a mountain*sarcasm* He is Just been selfish nd unreasonable••the fact that you have used it for all ya vital document should made him understand••anyway you are married to him not the other way••#GiftedDiva#281d27a4
ReplyDeleteabeg aw is dt an issue. is ur father your husband, do a change of name, shikena
ReplyDeleteDear Female LIB reader!!!
ReplyDeleteI usually don't comment on posts but to peruse through comments and humor myself with peeps' bizarre perspective on issues...
Nonetheless, you have a problem you'd like to address and some set of peeps are busy here referring to your HUSBAND as a "fool", "egocentric","bully"...etc(sentiments of which i"m sure you don't share) instead of offering you invaluable advice.
I think you know the set of peeps you'd take their comments seriously....
Is your mother bearing her maiden name? if no then examine your head! if yes examine her head!
ReplyDeletefor those of you cursing and calling the young man names, please stop; he's someone's hubby. This is marriage, these two are supposed to be one. traditionally and religiously speaking, you are supposed to drop your father's name; he's not taking care of you anymore, your hubby is. try to understand.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing is, people, this is the 21st century, agreed, but this is Africa and we have more successful marriages than those people you are tryin to copy. No married person here would advise this young woman to keep her maiden name...
ReplyDeleteIt is simple, if you can't remove your maiden name then don't marry him.
ReplyDeleteIF YOU WANT TO KEEP THE NAME DON'T MARRY FULLSTOP. IF HE IS THE KIND OF GUY WHO WANTS YOU U BEAR ONLY HIS NAME DIDN'T U KNOW BEFORE U JUMPED INTO SAY I DO. SOME LADIES ARE JUST SILLY. NEXT PLEASE
ReplyDeletefor peace....
ReplyDeleteyou can maintain ur maiden name professionally and to everyone outside work, you are Mrs @husband's surname"
KPELE O
To ask for public opinion on this is rather stupid. You have to decide from the word go if you want to marry or not. It is encouraged that you share love and intimacy in marriage . That does not include sharing equality. To think of that is a joke carried too far. We take a trip from our remote villages to America and instantly we want to be more American than the Americans. If your husband thinks otherwise, please remove your maiden name or else continue to enjoy the bliss of spinsterhood. Women libers are confusionists who offer you no good. Most of them do not have good marriages and are desperately lookin for easy converts.Peiod!
ReplyDeleteI am married and bear my husband's name but some of documents are still in my maiden name. I have been married for 5yrs plus and name change has never been an issue. He should not make it an issue. The way marriages are going these days is something goes wrong ,it is the woman that starts rebranding back to her maiden name. Some men even embarrass you to stop using their name once the marriage goes sour.Please retain your maiden name alongside your husband's name if that's what gives you peace of mind. Your man should stop feeling threatend or insecure. There are more issues to focus on in marriage. Just act wisely. Don't engage him in any arguement over it. Remain calm,it will soon be overtaken by more pressing issues.
ReplyDeleteYou should have found a man that doesn't mind before taking the oath of submission in marriage. This is the problem of the world today, people just want to marry because every other person is doing it, they don't care to follow the oaths they proclaim to. If you don't want to drop your maiden name, don't get married. It's simple. Must you marry? You want to eat your cake and have it.
ReplyDelete