Question for the guys: Why is it harder for men to forgive infidelity? | Welcome to Linda Ikeji's Blog

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Tuesday 30 April 2013

Question for the guys: Why is it harder for men to forgive infidelity?

Why is it so difficult and in some cases impossible for you guys to forgive when your woman cheats on you? No matter how much you men love a woman, once she cheats, it's usually over! Why?

You guys cheat all the time and women forgive you. But when it's reversed, you don't forgive. Why? Is it your ego?

299 comments:

  1. Lol! Its our nature... you have to ask our oga at the top why he made us that way.

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  2. I wonder oo! My ex said he'd throw me from our one storey building if he found out I Was cheating on him... Mean! Buh he was cheating on me 4 real... Saying, he takes out, buh a woman wil collect d sperm, curse & all diseases inside of her...Imagine d likeness! SMH!!!

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  3. Its simple. Dats cos we r men. Nature put us in control #chauvinism

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  4. It's certainly has alot to do with their ego being bruised. In these parts in takes a lot for a woman to cheat and the men know that, so if your woman cheats, it shows she has very low morals and doesn't truly care about you (terrible combination to keep around if u ask me).

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  5. The bitter truth is this! No matter how much a guy cheats, there's always one special girl he loves so much... The moment he finds out the girl cheats, it feels like d end of d world for him and it's always very difficult to overlook. When u try to do, the memory keeps coming back

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  6. Ego. Nature. DNA.

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  7. Good question. I really can't to read people's responses. When a man cheats, he can kneel and beg and everyone wants you to forgive him. But when its her turn, she's the worst sinner on earth who isn't worthy of forgiveness. This attitude sucks mehn.

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  8. Hi Linda,
    I think it is a problem of the biological make-up of a woman.

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  9. wht really happened? U av nt say anything, u jst complaining, and plz is nt evry man, some men do forgive.

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  10. When a woman cheats it more than the ordinary, we guys connect a lot of things to it, we begin to wonder if we were the cause, did we make a mistake by dating/marrying her, was she screaming during d sex, did he nack her hard, you begin to wonder that your dearest gf/wife has been nacked by another man. its really complicated, just so hard/impossible to forget.

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  11. true that i meet my bf a year ago i know he's been cheating all these while ,three mnths ago a married guy i was dating called me up nd i went to see him , my bf found out nd he was ranting like a wild dog u needed to see him vibrating.lol no regrets i guess he loves moi.

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  12. If u ask me na who I go ask?
    btw why will she even think of that,thats the only thing that can land me into Kirikiri.

    If I cheat,u cheat I don't care,but pray I don't catch u in one blanket-four legs mode. Sun newspaper go use us sell the next day.smh

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310

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  13. anyways taz the way God creat the world,women r just completion of men sooo na so e suppose be

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  14. it's nature's way

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  15. I always ask my husband the same question, His answer, " Try and see if I won't kill both u and the man", Reason, is a man's world.

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  16. it really beats me too. my ex used to warn me never to cheat on him, and he says it soo passionately dat cheating on him was the only thing dat could break us up. infact he never wanted to see me with another guy. to my suprise, dude was steady nacking someone else. i actualy forgave him but a week later, i dumped him cz i ddnt think i could b loyal to him anymore. dis whole relationship thing is hardwork. il rather face my good job and get a boytoy dat can fuck me silly anytim i want and i can change 4rm time to time. mbok

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  17. what name should i use now? hmmmmmmmm30 April 2013 at 15:14

    i don't think its the same case with all men.......i've been cheated on and i have forgiven her. didn't even take that long for me to do that...i love her very much and know everybody makes mistakes and she isn't an exception...just work on the problems and grow from there...that's what i believe(doesn't mean all men think like me)

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  18. my wife has chected on me,i love her dats y i hav forgiven her.i must tell you it was difficult but i had to.

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  19. Its because of the double standards and double morals of the male folk, a man cheating is seen as just one of those things that almost every man does but a woman cheating is seen as a prostitute. As they say..."Women are like fruits, the problem is that men love fruit salad"
    Too bad women are the ones who suffer more from all this, because you can see a man who may love you with all his heart and still cheat just for the fun of it, the key thing is be smart enough emotionally in a relationship and pray your man is clean.

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  20. What is your problem with Men...If hate them so much, stick with women...and all these negativity you spread on your blog will catch up with you one day...Do you know how many people emulate the negative messages you send out there?...Making Infidelity look normal...do u think its a good thing...My dear Linda, the anti Christ you hear about might not appear physically but use people like you...Be an agent of positive change and not the reverse

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  21. it´s a man`s world,even the society cannot forgive an adulteress no matter how valid her reasons are.But the adulteror is even admired, for being a MAN.Another example is that of a hardworking and responsible single mother with children from different men( but well taken care of) versus a man,poor or loaded, with children scaterred everywhere that he does not even care about their existence

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  22. i hvae been dating my gf for like 3 yrs now i have never cheated on her.. ever .. yeah the temptation rises.. i just keep telling myself i can be that one different guy.. we have had different misunderstandings that i have learnt to look forward from and just take it as karma biting me in the ass.. if you truly love someone u won't cheat on the person you being a boy or girl, it like saying i know u think this body is awesome but i can give it to this random person to piss on it then you can continue adoring it after they pissed on it

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  23. It is dishearten.

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  24. Most people say men are stronger than women, which is completely true especially in terms of physiology. When it comes 2 emotions and dealing wit hrt breaks, I believe women are far stronger. A man whose woman cheats on him bcomes an emotional wreck n feels betrayed worst kind of betrayal. Hence 4givness ratio becomes 2/10.

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  25. Men are sex machines. Sexual thoughts cross a man's mind almost every 7 seconds. That is how sexually potent men are. 99 percent of the women men sleep with dont mean anything to them. Most times, we dont even remember their names, that is how serious sex is to a man. He just wants to whine down, without any tied strings.

    For a woman, it is totally different. You have to cajole her, buy her gift , right place, right location , right environment, right weather. Almost everything has to be right for her to decide to go to bed with you. It is tough for a regular lady to sleep with a guy quickly , if it is not for money reasons.

    A man will sleep with any girl without anything attached, if he is tempted. That is how crazy men are about sex. Men talk about 3 things, Sports, Sex and Business.

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  26. Most men cant deal with it because of their Ego's.. It means another man was able to get something/Someone they believed they had "ownership" of and that breaks them to pieces as most of them think the women incapable of sex without emotions, meaning the woman loves another.

    I will be honest to say i don't think i could handle it if it happened to me....but that is also the reason i don't cheat on my wife or believe there is any sense cheating either! i did all i "needed" to do before i got married, and nothing more out there for me...

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  27. Nobody likes competition.

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  28. if U imagine how another man would be banging ur own wife and de screaming oh o o shit. To M̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ it makes M̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ feel she has been used and she's No longer sincere and can do it again and again if â„“̊ forgive her. Posted by DonChris..

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  29. Nobody likes competition.

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  30. I discovered men are more jealous thAn women, women just make mouth but forgive easily, while men ar so filled wt too much ego to forgive their women slightest infidelity. Linlin ma conclusion, its their ego nd they know what they do cheating is disgusting nd they can't stand any of it with their women. If like no post my comment, as u don dey collect bribe to post comment.

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  31. Your post is too general. We live in a time where both men and women cheat very well. It is not only men who cheat now. The latest trend is that, women cheat so much. Here is South Africa, it is a norm for a married man to cheat on her husband. Many husbands know about this here and they cannot avoid it. I am sure that you LINDA, have more than one guy that you are screening to see who will be a potential spouse. You cannot deny this? This is done also in a way by men.

    As for your questions, I think everything goes back to men's ego. Men are egoistic and want the world to be completely patriarchal. They want to take the lead always and will want women to be objects. The other reason is because women have made it this way. They have accepted the nature that men define everything. That need to change in a way.

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  32. Simple reason men are hardwired to be polygamous in nature. man is also programmed to spread his seeds, but the women are not. That is why it amazes when a lady cheats. you see its not men's fault.

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  33. Linda, marry, cheat on ur husband and ask him!

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  34. A man can cheat and not love the man but a woman can't

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  35. because believe me linder they will do it again and again

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  36. i have been asking this same question for ages ,lib male readers over .

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  37. The Earl of Banana Island30 April 2013 at 15:39

    Personally if i'm cheating which isn't a norm 4 me then i've no reason not to forgive,that being said i do think men generally're more emotional than women n as a result feel deeply hurt when cheated on...our fragile egos don't help.

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  38. A man has an inbuilt need 2 procreate so dy usu v sex wit more dan 1 woman. But a woman dy love is branded his n wen she cheats it messes tinz up. I m a girl n dats wat I tink. Just sayin...

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  39. lol.......
    its a man's world
    dats all dey say

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  40. Its not ego. Guys can cheat without having any atom of feelings for the girl. But a girl must have some kinda feelings for the guy she cheated with. A man knowing this would feel like there is almost no need going back because he knows she has feelings and she could repeat such act. Guys jst assume her heart is elsewhere

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  41. DeMyke says : Simples! most times, a man cheats for cheating sake only or for adventure while most women who cheat, cheat with their whole or part of their heart. How do you stay with someone whose heart is elsewhere???? Linda, answer that question

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  42. Every male animal were made that way. Never to share a female.it Destroys a man's ego and pride most especially when we guys are in love

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  43. Linda be sincere to yourself and assume yourself in man's shoe and gradually you'll begin to understand...
    But for me, if she does so, she will at the initial stage disgust me so much but I will allow time to heal the pain...then I will give her another chance.
    Plz do not not pretend to forget the nature of a man to go after a woman not a woman going after a man...Or do you disagree with that?

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  44. Guys just need a place to cheat, girls need reason. We cheat cos our hormones fail us, not necessarily cos we love who we cheating with. But its very different with the girls

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  45. Its bcos dey r cursed! N pls linda we dnt need topics like dis. Thanks!

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  46. Its pride,wot will people say. I have seen on several occasions where d guy 4gives if he caught d girl alone

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  47. I AM A MAN AND I DON'T SUPPORT CHEATING.
    HOWEVER WHY MEN FIND IT VERY PAINFUL IS
    BECAUSE OF THE EMOTIONAL NATURE OF WOMEN.
    THE MAN FINDS IT HARD TO FORGIVE BECAUSE HE FEELS THAT THE OTHER MAN NOT ONLY HAS HIS WIFE'S BODY, BUT HE ALSO HAS HER HEART.
    WHILE IT IS POSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO CHEAT WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING THE NAME OF THE WOMAN HE IS CHEATING WITH, A WOMAN'S EMOTION'S ARE ALWAYS INVOLVED WHICH MAKES IT VERY PAINFUL FOR THE MAN.

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  48. Its a natural thing.. i for one can't give a reason

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  49. Men are visual. Once a woman has cheated, every time they look at that woman; imagine the image they see. He probably can no longer visualize his woman naked without picturing the guy running his hands all over his woman's body.

    Women think about it; Men never marry a woman his friends or someone who knows dated but he will sleep with you with his eyes tightly closed.

    What this means is Women if you cheat, your man can not handle it so you can't tell him unless you invented a therapy that will take his visual imagery away.

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  50. It is not an ego thing. I think the rationale is because a man has a protrusion (penis) which cannot be expanded, over-used, abused or affected in anyway by sex with multiple partners (except for STDs) but a woman has the contrary which can be expanded easily, abused, etc. To men, another going to her juicy pot is unthinkable and unimaginable. The thoughts of same is just something else. I think that is the reason.

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  51. Gbam! Linbabe yu deserv a cake for bringing this topic up....I'll help yu eat it doe cuz it wld v spoilt by d tym twill get to yu.... Cnt wait to c d guys' comment...m stayn tuned!

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  52. Really.... No comments?

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  53. d reason z bcos we guys know cheatin z in our nature..so once a gal cheats d pain z too much cos we dnt usually expect it...its lyk wen we wanna touch d gal all we c z d oda guy touchin her...oh soo painful...via galaxy s4

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  54. Hmmm.real question for truthfull men to answer.its simple.men are literally assumed to be the selfish ones.its realy hard for a man to acknowledge the fact that his beloved wife was with another man,on the other hand they accuse the devil for cheatin on their woman.what a life we have.(men)

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  55. Why is this topic gaining this much attention these days, why are you ladies so curious?
    Ask your mothers for the answer, I'm sure you'll be thankful to them for not making such mistake.
    Wisdom begins when a woman doesn't seek to compete with a man on such issues, the man has no room for betrayal. Masculine infidelity has been understandable since the beginning of time.
    A wise woman who wants to keep a home and save her children unnecessary instability will not follow the bandwagon of women who don't know how to be women.
    And please bloggers, for the sake of gaining popularity, I'll advice you don't promote such topics and end up destroying a generation that is already suffering degradation all for personal gains, someone close to you may get hurt.

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  56. The truth is that we guys view or see that place as sacred, hope you understand what that place is and thats where the trust is built upon.

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  57. *The Thing is 2much,As in They hardly Forgives @ All.But We Will C dem With Girls & Diff text messages on dere fone they will ask for forgiveness n we forgive but with Dem Odiegwu!

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  58. Not far-fetched.Two key words shud be noted here: Physical and Emotions.Men being d visual being they are,get easily aroused and look for ways to expel d tensions wit d object of their attraction.Most
    of d times,it ends there.But before a Woman can agree to sleep wit a guy,there must av been an emotional input on her part and this is what gets to d bf/hubby as d case maybe.But,down the line someone is being selfish

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  59. Some retards would definitely say men re polygamous in nature,it's a norm if a man cheats but it's wrong if a woman cheats...Men re just annoying nd irritating.

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  60. this is not ego nor manism but this cos' wen u have an intercourse wt a man, ironically u av given away ur pride to him while the man has nothing to lose, it's always good wen ur woman does dis b4 becoming ur wife otherwise its usually detrimental.

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  61. this is not ego nor manism but this cos' wen u have an intercourse wt a man, ironically u av given away ur pride to him while the man has nothing to lose, it's always good wen ur woman does dis b4 becoming ur wife otherwise its usually detrimental.

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  62. Because when men cheat its most times just physical but when ladies do it usually is as a result of them having a strong emotional attachment to the individual in question...

    I must say also as a man our ego's do take a bruising after such an event. I should know, Im going through one right now.

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  63. I believe it cos there is a sense of inferiority a man goes through whenever he reminds that another man like him hung his partner.

    so it's not primarily bcos of d woman's act, but bcos of d involvement of another man.

    CHECK IT OUT: I think most men will forgive their partner involved in a sisters act.

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  64. its probably because of the significance u women/girls give 2 sex....hw u sleep wit ur boyfrnd becus u love him, den suddenly u sleep wit anoda guy nd u claim its a mistake.....

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  65. My wife has been unfaithful to me, cos of the love i have for her i have forgiven her even if she has not asked for forgiveness.For the sake of our marriage, child and unborn baby.

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    1. R u sure d baby is yours? Gud 2 kno v a kind heart, kip prayin 4 her. Peace

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  66. Men alwz want wot d cherish most 2 be 4 dm alone.

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  67. The feeling that another person has seen and enjoyed what is ment for only you is terrible and mist guyz can't forgive such..its a huge betrayal.....NOICEMAKER SPEAKS !!!

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  68. In a few words, curiosity kills the cat

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  69. Because....."Men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget."

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  70. ego?! please. A man loves once.

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  71. YES,it is our ego

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  72. Well the day they stop asking for head-cutting bride price for us to marry you women then we won't bother much, imagine paying money for another man to have sex with your wife.

    The day you people start paying our bride price and start taking care of us and our kids with your money then you can fuck with anybody you want to fuck.

    But for the mean time close your legs

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  73. it's not good for a married woman as the stigma lives long cos' wen u av an intercourse wt a man, u gives away ur pride to him and on the otherhand the guy doesn't av anything to lose.

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  74. I see no ego in this,it's just not right 2 cheat.

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  75. From a personal experience, it's much more than just the woman cheating.
    Before I start this, I'm in no way sexist so don't take me as one. People say it is a man's world, and honestly, it is. Society has defined it that if a man cheats then it's sort of okay but if a woman does, then that is just not normal.
    Moreover, at least for me personally when we have girlfriends, we place them on such a high pedestal that we believe they can do no wrong and can and will always be perfect to us. Men are (and I must admit this) dogs. No matter how much we try to be faithful, something must always happen.
    We don't even think for the slightest bit that our girlfriends will cheat on us and then when it does, it hurts even more. Kind of like I know she is better than me and I expected her to act better. something along that line.
    OR maybe it is an ego thing...who know.
    Just my two cents

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  76. Men gats so much Ego na...very stupid 1 @ dat..wen dey cheats its a mans world $ com begin buh wen a lady doz its Over....mtchwww Well as 4 me Same rules apply"My Man Cheat $ its Over"cos I don't $ can't share

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  77. Linda, abeg all that ego nonsense, make we hear word. As if women too don't have egos. As if we love it when men disgrace and humiliate us. Men need to respect themselves and respect other women.

    If you see how some men from other countries treat their women, you will cry for relationships in Nigeria. Useless.

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  78. It's simple,cos they are selfish self-centered creatures!!!

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  79. its absolute rubbish that men cannot forgive and continue the relationship but when sh*t is reversed women r expected to let in. im sick and tired of nigerian men actually they all wear the devils horns. RUNN FAST LADIES there are other types of faithful men out there!

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  80. Men do not forgive easily bcos that's d way they were designed.

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  81. it just happen.... its a switch that just turns off I think its because before you get this girls they are difficult, you have to prove yourself several times to show how much you love her and she will present herself as a good humble and nice person. This character build something inside you n thats love so as soon as she cheats thats wall will fall n u will ask yourself several question like y was she being difficult when you were asking her out, why all the pretense..... I think these are the things that make it difficult.

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  82. Of course it's their stupid ego Linda. Stop asking questions you already know the answer to

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  83. See Question ooo... Linda, are u telling me you have been cheating on me indirectly? Me, I will not forgive ooo :)

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  84. Is there anywhere in the bible a man married more than one wife? YES

    Is there anywhere in the bible where a woman married more than one husband? NO.

    That aside,is there anywhere in the world specifically in Nigeria a woman had married more than one man in the same house living together with kids? NO

    Is there anywhere in the world men had married more than one wife with kids under the same roof? YES.

    Do women pay groom price? NO.

    Do men pay bride price? YES.

    Do men buy engagement ring for a woman and propose? YES.
    Do women buy engagement rings and propose? NO.

    These are some funny examples I could highlight lol.

    Now let's talk about the ego thing. Men generally are egocentric. Men generally are jealous just like a lion that can consume other animals to survive but you dare not say hi to ours. We are like lions,as soon as you have access to his kids then He starts to question himself how,why,what happened,and when did it happen,lol.

    Men are selfish with their women,especially the ones they love. Have you ever wondered why a married man will fight his best friend for dating or hitting on his ex gf? Wtf.
    Women are more emotional and can forgive easily because they were made from us which gives them the ability to forgive as they sometimes take us like babies.

    A woman most times has a reason for cheating but men don't have a reason for cheating. It's in our blood and it's a big problem. A man can bang any girl and still love his wife but for a woman to bang outside her matrimonial home it means something is wrong somewhere.
    I am not justifying cheating in any way though but like they say "A man shall not live by bread alone", they didn't say a woman shall not live by bread alone lol.
    On a serious note. A cheat is a cheat and you can't quantify cheating. Who is cheating doesn't matter.

    If a woman cheats,the man will never forgive not only the woman but himself no matter whose fault it is because men feel no man,I mean no man including the richest and the most powerful man in the world can defeat him to his wife. EGO thing? Hell yes,before nko?
    Men are full of Ego,jealousy,pride etc,but we don't show them,i am sure women know this too.

    Laughs.


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  85. Personally I believe when I am making love with my wife it is a sacred rituals the way she mourn shows that my sacrifice has been accepted so if she makes love with another man I will be thinking the temple is no more sacred and when I make love to her and she mourn it will be disgusting coz I will be like that is d way she mourn for other men!

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    1. Sorry sir do u mean moan or mourn??

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    2. Mourn ke???

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    3. Cheating is bad either way. I won't 4gv a cheat and I am a woman.

      Men got comfortable cheatimg because women kept on 4gvn them, making it less of a big deal. with me, there is no way you would disrespect me and get away with it. A man marrying me must be aware of what he is getting in to.

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  86. Double standard and yeah! EGO

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  87. Linda will withhold comments until it reaches 250+ to generate traffic. I guess you devices you needed a new bag today

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  88. WOMEN ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO CHEAT

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  89. Because it bruises our pride. When guys cheat its mainly because it's in our nature. But when a woman cheats is many because their men can't satisfy their needs!!!

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    1. Who put it in ur nature.is there a place it is written that men are created to cheat? Cos I dnt get it

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  90. Nope! not ego or anything, its just simply that once you cheat you can never stop, its fucking hard, particularly for a woman, emotion is attached too much for them, except if she is a whore naturally. But truth is, its going to be hard to play the scene in your head over and over again and still be with the woman. Same reason why no two men will agree to marry one woman.

    Trust me i know what am saying cos i have forgiven a cheat before and she went back.

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  91. Why is it that women are declared brave when they hit men but men are brutal cowards when they do the same?

    Why is it a mistake when a woman gets into the men's restroom but a man is perverted in the reverse?

    Why are courts lenient with female criminals but males must be put down soon?

    Why is it that when a woman is doing work a man is required to help her and not the same when the reverse is occurring?

    You really think it's only in infidelity that there are different standards? How absolutely naive of you!

    You should've asked all these questions although they have a simple answer: That's the way things are and nothing will change it. Besides, who told you men usually don't forgive infidelity?

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  92. Is their ego, d other I was discussing this with a male frnd n he said that is difficult most tyms cos we(female) are @ d receiving end that's why

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  93. Bloody idiotic ego....some guys should take several seats please...and maybe stay mad,afterall,shit happens!koko

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  94. May I add, in these cases, men think with their heads not their hearts knowing fully well that a cheater is always a cheater no matter what.

    Women on the other hand think a leopard can change its spots.

    When even Jesus gave unfaithfulness as grounds for a divorce.

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  95. It is because in the equation of life, women are more valuable than men. Certainly, most people will not cry about losing a Naira coin but will hate to lose a thousand dollar bill. Men consider the women they love as assets, trophies if you may. Cheating devalues that asset, makes it worthless sometimes. Therefore, it's best we throw it away for scavengers to enjoy. We may forgive if we are disadvantaged but if we say or make you feel it's alright, then to us you are a Naira coin.

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  96. It has to do with ego, once a guy can't boast about his woman in public, there's no point keeping her. We tend to move on to the next one rather than listen or find out why she cheated and find a lating solution.

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  97. it depends I cheated on my bf and he forgave me

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  98. I'm a lady and i'll say most men bliv women r fragile and dey cud easily fall in love so dey bcom totally insecure wen their partner cheats on them.

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  99. simply put we men are polygamous in nature, while a man can marry more dan 1 wife a woman cannot, my religion forbids it doh..bt it's always painful to know dt ur woman allowed a snake into her garden

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  100. Dts cos dey r egoistic, revengeful pricks! Yea yea yea...haterz kip ur silly comments to urslvs! *kmt* #ProudFeminist

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  101. Linda don't mind them,its greed and ego,they feel like they own the world.rubbish

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  102. please take note of this wise saying.
    when the Dog bite a man, its not a news. but when the man bite the dog is a big news.
    men are promiscuous in nature but if a lady tries it, she will be called a whore.

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    1. Thank you,You have said it all.

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  103. I would won't say its ego. First of all, women are ment to be pampered and giving attention. So when she cheats some unanswered question like this would come to yur head.
    Hmmm when she was with him in bed did she say those words she always say to my hears or did she do those fricky things to him. And first it would be hard for u to kiss her now. And a lot of things I can't put down on here. Toyosi

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  104. My opinion.. Men can cheat without strings attached or any emotions at all but for ladies, its quite different. If a lady cheats on her man, she already feels something for the other guy. So its quite difficult for men to take em back knowing she might be inlove with the other guy.. And in other cases it balls down to the over possessive nature of men and pride.

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  105. Is dat their stupid ego o, foolish men, if they cheat,me sef no go gree.

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  106. Ego... Yea it is.
    Cz dy always feel dey rule somehow
    Not lyk I am disputing dat.
    Dy jus have dis "ma bitch" kinda policy
    N when a woman cheats, dey feel like d bitch instead.
    Lolest
    Itz an awful feeling rite?
    Women r very powerful emotionally, we encounter dis @ various points in our lives n' we just swallow the pain n' try to make it right.
    I hope men will learn to do so 2...
    Forgive her n' get on wif d r/ship or waheva.


    J.

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  107. well, some men do forgive but i'll say just 5% out of 100.
    I think it has to do with a bruised ego. maybe they take it like "so I aint good enough" kinda thing.

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  108. Cos of their stupid pride...

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  109. Ask dem o...*BB not interested smiley* Ndi ala!

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  110. they are stupid thats y. but the truth is that right from time a woman is meant to hold her head up high and not belittle themselves like men, that goes the saying MEN ARE DOGS

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  111. Cos they can picture what d guy must ve done to their wowan in their head,and dat alone is d headache they Can't deal with even panadol wont work.,?

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  112. As a guy i wish i had a glue why it is this way.I think Ego and Pride has a lot to do with it.You would just start thinking about how your woman felt being Bumped and Grinded by the other man and with such pictures in your head the girl just immediately becomes what puts you off. But time heals those kind of wounds especially if the love was real and true.

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  113. Men do nt play with their pride.a wife is d pride of any man so anytime dt pride is dented by a cheatn wife,den dt marriage is ova.dis is bcos it affects every aspect of d man(life,biz,job,etc).tnx.

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  114. Linda it's because they feel entitled to it, especially in Africa, due to the polygamous nature of our society. You and i know that in the western world, there is no reason for infidelity for both sexes. They take it seriously. But here, even your own family go ask you whether na him be the first person to be unfaithful while the woman will be given a sermon on the mount if she's the one caught cheating.

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  115. We hate to know that another guy has hit a piece of ass that belongs to us.

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  116. I Have over d years asked this question too.I think their EGO is @ work here.They also allow themselves to live up to d saying that 'Men Rules d World'.forgetting that they all have equal rights as d female.It would take a real & Matured man to forgive a woman.

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  117. Well, I don't think it has anything to do with ego, in Africa, we have culture, and culture permits a man to do some certain things. There are some things that are not expected of a woman if married, those things are taboo and unpardonable, even the bible does not permit it too.

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    Replies
    1. Hey wake up this is the 21st century. Culture my foot. So the bible permits men abi.
      Gosh, the way some people think is beyond me.

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  118. The truth is that men are sexual jealous beings, whereas females are emotional jealous beings. that's the reason if men cheat women forgive easily because sex doesn't equal to having emotional feelings. on the other hand since women are emotional creatures before they have sex there's some sort of emotions going on between her and the guy. This is the reason men find it difficult to forgive because they question their sexual ego once their women cheat on them.

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  119. Because u ladies bhave like u never cheat. When most are serial cheaters. As a guy I have never cheated on anyone but I have been cheated on in all my relationships. So don't say you guys because not all men are you guys. Cheating destroys trust which is d foundation of all relationships. When a gal I'm in a relationship with cheats on me I don't take her as serious as I used to.

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  120. Its no ego, its kills men

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    Replies
    1. but it doesn't kill women right????

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  121. this is because the whole is not equal to the sum of its parts...If u like don't publish my comment.U have sha read it.

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  122. Because Nigerian men are fucking EGOCENTRIC!!!!!!! Simple

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  123. Its called black pride

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  124. Jay says

    Its not Ego. Imagine you are pounding your woman and see her fuck face. Now imagine her giving another man the same fuck face. Or imagine her giving another man snake in the monkey shadow style....

    That shit is crazy. And you know, some guys, dont know how to use a land with care. They destroy the land. If i am to sleep with another man's gf, trust me, i wld handle her the way her man has never dreamt of. So, there are many things at play here.

    Choi!!

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    Replies
    1. Interesting! But which one is snake in the monkey shadow style abeg? Thanks :)

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  125. U don't need to ask why. Experiment with ur relationship!

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  126. It sucks really. I mean a woman is often disposed to allow bygones be what they should be when their spouse cheats on them but hardly so when the tables are reversed.

    Am a guy and I think I khow the reason. Not sure though how many guys will go with me on this.

    Generally, I believe that before a woman opens her legs for a man she must feel something for the guy. Ladies correct me if am wrong. But a guy can sleep with several women and feel absolutely nada for them.

    With this in mind a man tends to think that the wifey or girl friend has shifted in her emotions for him to allow another man ride her and I guess thats where it starts to hurt.

    Another reason is definitely our pride. How dare another man have a taste of our pudding. Its unbearable and somehow we tend to think we may just be the butt of our friends' jokes. No man is ready to take that.

    Just saying

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  127. Its simple men are greedy they don't like to share.this same man that won't forgive his woman probably would have cheated a 100 times and say its d devil.my own is simple if u cheat on me I won't leave you to God ill cheat back on u if u can't forgive me I can't forgive you shikena.

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    1. Believe dat... Unless u are my husband.. If na bf gf ish.. Mother f.. I'm gonna ride dat nigga like I neva have done him.. :d

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  128. Men don't forgive bcos vagina is a hole and too much sperm can make it stink.

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  129. OMO>>>>>if anoda man chop my kpekus>>>>>hmmm eh go pain me gaaaan oooooh>>>

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  130. Its a mens world linda!

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  131. Bcos dey wicked and self centered.

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  132. james


    waooooow....i shout cos dis is one tin i've always pondered on..
    i'm a guy...and been faithful to ma girlfriend...love her sooo mch...as in,so much...
    bt on d onset on our r/ship,i had to tell her d truth aout me....that is,even if i love yu reach cloud nine,d moment i dnt trust yu again,esp yu unfaithful,am out!..
    and rite nw i fink aout it and seriously,i get tempted few times to cheat!...and i'm scared sooner or later i could...bt she dare nt cheat...i'm out...y? am i wicke?

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    1. Yh...yu r sooo wicked. You might cheat buh if she does u're out? Fk yu! Now m glad i dumpd my cheatn bf.

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  133. Men can forgive themselves for their indiscretions, but find it much harder to forgive their partners for the same..

    For a betrayed woman, an affair is an offence against her dignity. For a betrayed man, it's an offence against his manhood. It goes right to the core of his identity...

    So, it's always hard for a man to forgive his woman if he finds out another man has been "entering the place"....


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  134. my boyfriend has cheated on me before as in slept wit a girl now I just kissed a guy (and trust me it was wonderful) but I feel like confessing 2 him but I can't cos he won't 4give.so I wonder y guys r dis way. cutie

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    1. Cutie,take that kissing info to ur grave #trustme#.If your itching to tell someone then confess to ur pastor or priest.

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    2. Cutie,take that kissing info to ur grave #trustme#.If your itching to tell someone then confess to ur pastor or priest.

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  135. Iam suprise why ÈŠ̝̊̅Ï„̅ is lik DAT oh, Wђεη Æ”ou talk they wil say is a man world.

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  136. Guys are more sensitive in that area. Its a crush on our ego. Way more than u can ever understand :|

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  137. Absolutely it is a question of ego! Been married for 13 years but never slept with any woman except my wife in spite of daily temptations. Wuld be absolutely gutted if I discover my wife slept with another man. Wuld be a herculean task to trust her after such discovery and it wuld take God to prevail on me to continue with her.

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    Replies
    1. Oh boo!I will never cheat on you.Love you plenty.Wifey

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  138. Men are selfish!a married man dating a woman dt has a daughter of his wife's age yet he check her phone every seconds,she can't even talk to old school mates n no friends what a life!

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  139. Plus, females don't have testosterone, d agressive 'I wan fuck' hormone. So, when they cheat, its more than sexual hunger & agression

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  140. Dificult is an understatement,me I don't 4give infidelity.
    Its not even possible.
    Eric

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  141. Becos women depend on them for every thing. If a woman is independent and dosnt depend on her hubby for every little thing, she will be forgiven with every thing she does including cheating. Amaka ph

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    Replies
    1. Na lie o.No fool yourself.Even if you are as rich as Beyonce or as poor as a church rat,no man wants to imagine that his wife he loves/hates is under another fellow man o.

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  142. wel,i fink wen a woman cheats,she's lost interest in her man..buh for d man..its mostyms jes an affair,no emotional attachments!

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  143. first of all, both parties do cheat in a relationship...its not just a one-sided affair... Its equally seen in d cases of an actress(nollywood) being divorced all in d name of her career. Men can be jealous atimes, though women are more jealous...as for infidelity we d men are immuned...#roflmfao#

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  144. A guy will cheat more dn 10times n she will forgives but let ur boyfriend nos u still talk to ur ex dts a war..

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  145. What a world! 99% of men love cheating, low self esteem, poor self image, wrong values adopted when growing up.

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  146. Protected sex or not, when a woman have sex, the man 'deposit' something in her, she is the 'receiver', it is the defilement of ones most precious 'possession', that should not be shared with another man (the most intimate) and that 'stain' cannot be erase from the mind of the man. Infidelity is what hurts a man's pride most. That is why it is harder for men to forgive.

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  147. The situation of men not forgiving is very skewed in certain countries and cultures. Instead of women being encouraged to be independent individuals there is still emphasis on them being married. The men take advantage of this situation because the women do not want to be single and treat them like trash. In other words the men are the demi gods and untouchables you dare not wrong them. But if you are a woman you are a mere mortal of course you are required to forgive. In simple words I am saying men dont forgive because they dont have to they take the next pick. They dont even love the woman in the first place or they would forgive them. They just pick the best servant to marry and dont care about her if she crosses their path they just swop her. Until society gives equal importance to women and the women marry men who love them they will never be forgiven.

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  148. Cos she's supposed to bé he's pride

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  149. Na man dey pay birth price nw.

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  150. Men are very imaginative; we would kill ourselves trying to picture what happened- how she moaned, how she called out the other guy's name, how she responded to his touches, whether they kissed & probably if the other dude is a better lover etc. The bottom line is that it makes d man feel less than himself;after-all if I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing right, she won't look outside for affection & attention.

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  151. None of them can answer..do we v men in the house?

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  152. dats d useless ego in dem

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  153. Jamb question....that's how its created, u can't change it. Men are meant to be the oga @ d top and ye ladies submit. DAS ALL.

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  154. linda men are the head of the house if u want 2 cheat ur man do am gentle ooo couse if him cacth u him go fire u straigt. @philip02na

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  155. Most guys cheat cause they r horny a, women actually cheat with their heart, they invariably most of the time actually like the guy they r cheating with, infact in most instances they see him as a viable alternative to their current boyfriends/husband

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  156. Let women work hard and make money use to marry man then see if dey will not kill when edy catch u

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  157. well for me it takes a lot to forgive a man. I recently caught my husband cheating and am yet to get over it though he's still denying. Am currently going for counseling to overcome the betrayal.

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  158. some of you here just sound so stupid! the BIBLE DOES NOT PERMIT ADULTRY AT ALL BE IT A MAN OR WOMAN! MEN DONT HAVE SPECIAL TREATMENT!

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  159. Men are 'Oga at the Top'. No woman should cheat, period.

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  160. @linda thanks so much for ds post...abeg mak una ans ooo why..

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  161. A KEY THAT CAN OPEN MANY DOORS IS A MASTER KEY. A DOOR THAT CAN BE OPENED BY MANY KEYS IS USELESS. STAY BLESSED.

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  162. men cant forgive for two reasons.1)women get pregnant so someone else product can be dumped on you.Then you are a big fool in the eyes of the woman.2)men can seperate love from sex.Sleep with a girl and its just physics.For women there is always an element of chemistry before they agree to do.So the real owner feels inadequate

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  163. All u men are crazy,God punish all of u.if u lik 4giv m or not wen u catch m cheatin,to hell cos im independent nd der wud b alot of dicks to screw

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  164. @LINDA IKEJI: My friend collect Fanta and buns, go siddon.

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  165. if u want 2 no wot is natural chek animals nd u find out they av same tendencies like fightin thier folks jus cos of the female so its natural me av been cheated by my gal nd nomatter hw i love her i can't seem 2 forget,i wish i neva approached her in d first place but i truly lov her,its so painful

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  166. Which stupid nature?? Dnt ty justifying trash.. If she can forgive u, u shud learn to do same....

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  167. A key that opens every door is a master key, but a door opened by every key is useless.

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  168. In which bible??

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  169. its funny sha buh thats men for you..... we are more 'physical' than emotional... unlike women, a woman can easily forgive a physical betrayal than an emotional one, a man can easily forgive an emotional betrayal than a physical one..... i think sha

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  170. Most of the guys here are talking trash. "If a man is cheated on, it hurts his ego"? How about the woman? Doesnt she have feelings? Doesnt she have an ego? Do you know how hard it is for a woman to pretend to be happy with her husband when she knows he is cheating on her? Or even to have sex without protection with her husband when she knows he may be carrying HIV? Men should learn to have a conscience. Any married man with a mistress at the point of his death will still go to hell because adultery is a sin. Forget about it being in the man's nature to cheat. God was not blind when he said "Thou shalt not commit adultery". A SIN IS A SIN. He who has ears should listen and stop cheating. It is satan that is making you guys feel that you are right. When you finally end up in Hell, satan will still be there to laugh in your face. So stop deceiving yourselves. OR THAT SO CALLED EGO WILL LAND YOU IN HELL!!!

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  171. Yes, I think its ego and self centred nature of men. I have always wondered why too. I have once forgiven my girlfriend after she cried for a week when I found out she slept with my 'friend' (That bastard!). Unknown to her the reason I forgave her was 1st because I have cheated several times behind her but not with anyone remotely connected to her so I tot its unfair not to forgive her. 2nd, she is an awesome girl, very calculative and really cool lovely girl. Why should I let such a girl go simply cuz I felt embarrassed that my friend fucked her? I had fucked girls in a relationship and would probably jump at the chance to do it again. We dated for 3 more years after that and she loved me.

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  172. BECAUSE OF THIS SO CALLED EGO, DONT BE SURPRISED IF 80% OF THE MEN IN THIS WORLD END UP IN HELLFIRE

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  173. You have already answered the question Linda, Yes, it is our Ego...

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  174. Well Linda datz juzz the way it is.Ma girl friend i've been dating since 2007 cheated on me last 2 weeks Friday.A guy visited her @ Asaba 4rm Lagos and lodged her in a hotel thinking i wouldn't find out.He came on a Friday and left for Lagos on Sunday.Finally the bubble burst*dnt wanna go into details*cos ma heart's shattered#.I love her so much and she loves me too.Dnt juzz knw where i went wrong cos everytin seemed so perfect; even uptil now she's telling me she can't do without me and all dat and pleading @ da same time with friends and relatives.I introduced her to ma Mum diz Easter break hoping for da best.To cut da long story short; i will never take her back no mata wat.Even ma own Mumsy no fit convince me for diz one.I've 4given her buh will never take her back 'over ma dead body'.

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  175. Well Linda datz juzz the way it is.Ma girl friend i've been dating since 2007 cheated on me last 2 weeks Friday.A guy visited her @ Asaba 4rm Lagos and lodged her in a hotel thinking i wouldn't find out.He came on a Friday and left for Lagos on Sunday.Finally the bubble burst*dnt wanna go into details*cos ma heart's shattered#.I love her so much and she loves me too.Dnt juzz knw where i went wrong cos everytin seemed so perfect; even uptil now she's telling me she can't do without me and all dat and pleading @ da same time with friends and relatives.I introduced her to ma Mum diz Easter break hoping for da best.To cut da long story short; i will never take her back no mata wat.Even ma own Mumsy no fit convince me for diz one.I've 4given her buh will never take her back 'over ma dead body'.

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  176. Linda, when women cheat they cheat with BODY and SOUL:) In most cases the other guy DICK don toooo SWEET!:) That nah why e dey pain men more:) Nah woman i be O:) And again nah women dey receive all the JUICE..hehehehe..

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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the comment writers alone and does not reflect or represent the views of Linda Ikeji.

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