Dear LIB readers: I can't stand my wife anymore; should I stay or go?
From a male LIB reader:
"I found out my wife of 11 years cheated on me with some guy. This was last year June. She confessed to me after I confronted her with the facts. I decided to forgive her and stay married to her because I have cheated on her in the past too and I didn't want to destroy our family because we have four small children together. The thing now is; I don't love her anymore. I can't stand her and can't even bare to touch her. When she talks to me I get so angry I feel like stabbing her in the eye but I've never laid hands on her. I don't talk to her much except when we want to talk about the kids. We live in the same house but as strangers. She's really tried to make it up but it's not working. I actually hate it when she's around me, and haven't touched her since I found out about the cheating
I thought my anger and disgust at her would fade with time but it's been 9 months and I still feel this way. Will this anger ever go away or should I just end things with her?
Lol dats men 4u o,no mind d yeye man!anyway u Can't go nywhere oga!u av no choice bt2wrk it out!4children no b child's play!go2a church if u must,n seek conselling!
Ha ha ha ha ntooooooooooo! Mnow you know how women feel. Her own na one guy o! Some women have to bear living with chronic womanizers and routinely trat themselves for STDs gotten from a philanderer. Oya leave her u hear? U go jam ya fellow ashi***
Hehehe.. Na wah o! I don't understand how some of us men think.. So u cheated, and she did too 50/50 No cheating! I understand that women are NOT allowed to cheat, but men too shouldn't, not because they can but because there's no justification that makes it right for men to do so too! Let it go man.. U can choose not to touch her again, ur business but don't cheat on her again and u gotta stay because of the kids! Else.. Whatever happens, u caused it! Yes YOU did!
Mukite! Stay there. Didn't u cheat on her too? I tire for these men nd their rules dt apply to only them. Flips hair nd walks away. First to comment btw. :p Amanda R
No u dnt have 2 end it,d devil is trying 2 destroy ur marriage but dnt give him d chance,try 2 reconcile with ur wife,prayers will help but pls do not lay ur hands on her,just take it easy everything will be alright
Cheater oshi! When you cheated on her did she hate on you? Now she has cheated on you and you are crying blue murder. May Sango not strike you dead sha. When they say you reap what you sow. Were you thinking its only for tithes?
SAdly lots of young marriages are going through this. Men cheating , wives cheating quietly and cleaning mouth and then putting a united front for children sake and society pressures ....... Yet so miserable together.
If you dont beleive me , take a survey ..... MAN suck it up and stay in your home, there are so many troubled marriage like urs, YOU WONT BE THE FIRST , LAST OR THE ONLY ONE IN THIS TYPE
4 not ending tins 4 ova 9mths, u̶̲̥̅̊ can alow dis tot go if u̶̲̥̅̊ want it, u̶̲̥̅̊ av bin considerate, pray to God nd U̶̲̥̅̊'l find luv wit her again.u̶̲̥̅̊ av bin gud enuf pls dnt let it end cos of ur kids
But u cheated on her too y is it so difficult for u to forgive her?hmmmm men always selfish,if it was d other way round she will forgive u one hand,na u sabi if u wan throw ur marriage and family away,do u think u will get something better out there.my advice for u is to stay and try to work thru it and wit God all will be well
You said, you have cheated on her as well, so why do you want to kill and end your marriage. Hard as it seems there must be a way out. FORGIVE, FORGIVE FORGIVE. If she was the one she would have forgiven you over and over. Go to God pray and ask Him to remove the bitterness and whatever you feel It is possible for you to love her again. With God all things are possible. Give your marriage one more try. Dont let marriage be one of the statistics of divorce.
its very painful in d first place , bt u 've to let thins go. u can only do dat urself, by allowing d anger in u 2 go, and jus take it as if notin has happened at all......... U hav 2 let it go or else it wount work, hw will d children cope witout their mother by their side, i knw its hard bt u can do dis by 4giving her 4rm ur heart.
you are disgusting for feeling that way.so because you have balls its ok for you to mess around but it sucks to be on the recieving side right?maybe if you had stayed home and handled you biz she wouldnt have strayed.its your fault cos if u were being all d man she needs some oda guy wldnt have been able to get with her.i'm disgusted you have the balls to say you are disgusted.men like you are what is wrong with the world.mschewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Well said. They think they can eat their cake and have it. I'm sure he cheated more than once but she forgave him. What goes around comes around dear u better sit home, pray and let all the hurt out because even if u find someone else you'll still have to deal with the problems of a polygamous home and the next womam may be better or worse.
You are an asshole, yet you also cheated on her. You better stay there, for better or for worse. And it seems like you are not even trying to make things work. African men are just pure evil, African women begin to respect yourselves. Stop degrading yourselves, men will never respect you until you learn to respect yourselves, they will never know your value until you show them.
During your turn she forgave you and now you can't try and work up some forgiveness?!? She did a horrible thing but you are being a tad bit pretentious my good friend. Get some counselling and get your family back together. Both you and wifey need to reassess things and focus on building back that thing that brought you together. The energy spent on trying to kill/stab her can be used to rebuild your home. Be the man and do the right thing.
Trust is like a mirror, once shattered things can never go back as it were, put the pieces together but it would never be like a new mirror again, infidelity is the height for me, I don't think I can live with that if I can't forgive that act, if it is me and after this long period I still can't let it go then its best to let her go.
So its ok to cheat on ur wife then when she does this stupid ass Sermon of 'trust broken" and what not comes up. Fuck u and u beta stay in that Marriage fucking asshole.
But I bet if you cheat on her you'll expect the mirror to magically fix itself. Its not just about him its about the kids and what makes u think your next will be better?
U re soo not serious not jst dat u re wicked. U even admitted to have cheated on her too so y d hate! Plsss d tin u have to do is forgive urself first and to forgive her will be easy cos in dis situation she isn't d only one @ fault. U dnt need advice cos deep down in u, u knw d rite tin to do which is to forgive her and love her as much as possible.afterall she hasn't continued in d act and I believe by now must have learnt frm her lessons, u will only cos more harm if u keep up with ur anger and unforgivin spirit. May God bless ur home. @TWINKLE!
you have some nerve.if u had stayed home and handled you bizniz instd of messing around someoda guy wldnt have played your part.you left your wife needing u while u wr satisfying women u had no biz satisfying and u dare complain?men like you are what is wrong with the world.mschewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.why is it ok 4 u to cheat?or u dont think you are disgusting too?
Agbaya or whatever. u said u av cheated too so why are u making it look like she is d only one guilty here? meanwhile she confessed, what about u? did u confess to her or u just kept it to urself.dats d problem wit men,ur d only one entitiled to cheat and get away wit it. good luck to u in hating her, stupid man mcheeeeeeeew
I'm sure he has even cheated more than once that's why he isn't in a hurry to forgive her. Stab her and rot in jail, at your age ur seeking advice on the internet, go visit a marraige councelor if u are serious.
Obviously you still resent her for betraying you by having an affair. Have you ever wondered if she too felt this way when she found out you cheated on her as well? Men make it feel like it's ok when a man cheats but they cry blue murder when a woman cheats. What's good for the goose... Having said that, I think you should see a marriage counsellor to work through your resentment. If you ever loved her before I believe love can always be rekindled.
Its a man's world indeed.bros did u say u cheated on her too?if she can forgive u why don't u 2 just focus on building your marriage,learn from your mistakes.fix what made u cheat on each other and move on.
My brother this is no rocket science,its obvious what u both need is a somewhat break from each other. Atleast it will give u room to analyse how possible it is for u both to still stay together. Its obvious u're enranged and can do anything,plz take a break from her for d for sometime,to avoid d post of how u mudered ur wife making the news here.
sharrap there. Can't you see how self centered you are? you said you cheated on her too in the past, now she cheated and you can't forgive her? your love for her died just like that? WORLD PEOPLE...GO AND SLEEP, AFTER WAKING UP START A NEW BEGINING WITH HER
QF ok, u nid to think abt how she too felt or wud feel if she found out u cheated on her! Try not to dwell on that tot...make consious efffort to forgive her, its obvious u havent. U both made a mistake, deal with it nd move on...will u?
Selfish self conceited bastard! Its ok fr u to cheat n den b 4given n nt her? Cz she's a woman... Leave d marriage already, u disgust in her is already quite plain in dis post! I wish u d same luck u wish unto ur wife u chauvinistic he goat!
Moral of the story What goes around comes around, What I have learnt If I ever cheat I berra keep it to myself even with all the facts I will just say it wasnt me #Shaggy'sVoice#
BELOVED FAST AND PRAY AND SEEK GOD WHO FORGIVES ALL MEN THEIR SINS. Matt 6:12 12 and forgive us our sins , just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us. NLT Matt 6:14
14 "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. NLT
u cheated on her now u think because she confessed to u shes d devil if she didnt tell u u wont kno trust me wht is killin u isnt dat u dont luv her anymore it is the fact that u dunno if she wud still do it,better go and make ammends in ur home forgive her n move on happily it wud take a while bt ud get over it.while at it ask God for direction.
You're very mean. If she forgave you when u cheated, why can't u? Don't even be selfish. What will happen your kids?!! Seperatn is the worst thing that can happen to them. I'm sure u ddnt tell her u cheated too. Think about how she feels and ask her why she did it. U were feeling this way befr. Talk to her and better go see a counsellor. And again, do not be selfish! U're not the only one in the marriage!!!!!!!
Niccur Pleasssse! Stay with your wife and try To work it out.You cheated Too.Its just too bad that saintly perception you had of your wife has been crushed! Pray to God and Go for Counseling with Your Wife if you have the Forbearance.
Hmmm! I feel so sorry for u nd urlwife. I can belt she's full of regrets now. This is not a blaming game of what led to what. As Der is no justification for both of u go hv cheated. U need counselling and prayers. U both need help. I pray Godds restores peace n love in ur home. Pls be patient n let God work in ur family.
Get some therapy fast ( individual and couples) before someone gets hurt. If you still can't handle it, walk away so you don't hurt her and get into trouble too
Get some therapy fast ( individual and couples) before someone gets hurt. If you still can't handle it, walk away so you don't hurt her and get into trouble too
Why are you so angry? How do you think she felt when you also cheated. I am not justifying her action but try and forgive her.
You have four kids! That is not a small number and they need both of you in their lives. It might take time but you need to get over it and let it go. Men's egos are always badly bruised when something like this happens but if she could forgive you, also forgive her.
You both need to start on a clean slate-turn to God and stop all the cheating. Try and re-discover the love you both shared at the beginning.
Please put your kids interests first. Tearing the family apart will be devastating for them. Pray to God for the power of forgiveness. It will be fine eventually.
dont end things with her because even if you end the marriage, you wont be able to find peace of mind. the hurt, anger, bitterness in your heart has led to subsequent hatred. my dear you need to settle with your inner mind and decide that you want to be happy, you want to enjoy your marriage. and you cant make that decision without asking the holy spirit to help you. humanly speaking its not always possible to forgive and move on but God will help you, give it a try and hand over all your burden to him for he cares for you, your wife and you four angels.
U already know what you want to do so why bother ask? It's okay for you to "make a mistake"and expect to be forgiven while she continues with u like nothing happened. Oya now, sebi it's for better for worse, this is her worse, deal with it. I am sure u have also dated a married woman in the past. what goes around comes around??? PS. Not justifying her behaviour oooo, what is wrong is wrong.
You have not forgiven her then. Also, you indulged in what is making you to distaste her. So, you have no reason whatsoever to feel the way you are feeling. You are just being selfish. Fidelity in marriage is suppose to be mutual, so, don't act as if she's the only person that owes a duty of fidelity. And being a man, it is my guess, that you must have cheated on her the more, and she may have cheated on you as a way of getting back at you. Your hands are not clean, they are equally dirty. He that comes to equity must come with a clean hands. My advice, you both have some forgiving to do. If that was the only thing she's done wrong, learn to move past that and make a success of your marriage. A devil you know is better than the angel you don't know. Marriages are full of ups and downs. That's my take on your situation. Thanks.
hey bro, you also cheated on your wife. its now 50-50. So ask God to help you love her like you used to before she said 'yes to you'. Teach yourself to love her, cos you must love her. God help you
Beloved, thank God for your SINCERITY IN CONFESSING THAT YOU SOWED INFIDELITY IN YOUR MARRIAGE FIRST. THIS LADY FORGAVE YOU; REMEMBER. Gal 6:7-8
7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life NIV IT IS TIME TO SOW TO PLEASE THE SPIRIT OF GOD; by forgiveness. FAST AND PRAY. 9 months is a huge lacuna for another string of cheating. Do not expect to reap joy and good marriage after sowing cheating.
To er is human...please forgive her. I'm not saying so because you too cheated but that it is better to forgive. Ask God to help you forgive and He will. Break up is only the easy way out now, but with time, you'll find out it's not easy. Forgive her and stay together, even if it's for the children. God be with you.
STUPID. YOU AND A LOTTA GUYS OUT THERE. I'M SURE YOU NEVER EVEN CONFESSED TO YOUR CHEATING IN THE PAST AND NOW BECAUSE SHE DID YOU CAN'T STAND HER. STUPID STUPID. GO AND BE ALONE. BECAUSE THE NEXT LADY YOU MEET WOULD ALSO CHEAT. YES WE CHEAT WHEN WE HAVE CHEATING MEN TOO.
You are a deadbeat arrogant prik, that's what you are. Can dish it, but can't take it, huh?
How do you think women feel when they know their man sleeps around, yet expects them to still play the role of a dutiful wifey? It's easier for us men to cheat, yeah, but when you have a good woman but your randiness makes her look for emotional support elsewhere, leading to intimacy on her part, you better blame no one else but your sorry arse. (This doesn't include loose girls that pretend to have changed just to marry o! I mean good, wife-material girls with homely values and good self-esteem. Someone like Linda, for eg. Runs girls will sleep around even after marriage, simply give them some time to plan it!)
If you're man enuff, confess your own tryst to her then wait and see how quickly that smug smile on your face will evaporate!
Your 'i-am-better-than-you' attitude to her is bcos she doesn't know just how much of a hypocrite you are being at the moment. To save your marriage I suggest that you admit your own wrong doing and try not to be controlled by your smaller head.
Interesting. Very interesting that you are so angry now that you are on the receiving end.
I would say it is best for you to move on. If you are going to get thoughts of violence and you hate her so much, then it is best for you both to live apart. On the other hand, it may be wise for you to look into yourself and see what drove her into the arms of another man after 11 years of marriage? It seems as though there were big problems in the marriage long before she cheated.
Bro, it really hurts when a woman cheats, especially when she's got kids, but let's face it, you're no saint yourself. I think you need to let go, you're so hurt and that's why you have so much anger and hatred for her. I would advise you forgive her from your heart and you can do that by not thinking about the fact that she cheated on you. The healing process is a gradual process, so you have to be patient. I suggest you take it one at a time, focus on her positives and why you married her in the first place, with time, I think you would be able to let go. Another thing is I feel you are a little insecure without knowing it, I mean you're feeling like why should she cheat on me, why? You should find out why she cheated on you, you might learn a thing or two from it. Finally, I would advise you to pray, God is not too busy to listen to you whine about your relationship, he cares for you and is ready to help you only if you ask him, regardless of your sins, so go to him in prayer, you don't have to fast and pray or go to the mountain top, all you have to do is talk to him, open your heart to him. I wish you the best.
When you begin to express a desire to kill your wife then I don't think there is any reason to advise you to stay. If for any reason you feel there still remains a specter of hope then by all means stay, talk about the kids, but please don't kill your wife. . .for all we know she is harbouring worse thoughts about you,and am quite sure you are in no hurry to leave this world. Get a seperation if you must but try to find that lady you fell in love with through all this mess. God help you.
My dear good friend,since you know you are also guilty of the same crime why get angry with her?what do you think would be her reaction when she gets to know that what you've been crucifying her about you are guilty as well if not worse?A mad man is not told that the sun is shining.Use your tongue in counting your teeth!
U dnt av 2 end d marriage,cuz she apologised 2 u,u av 2 try 4get it since she was able 2 4giv u wen u cheated,so u do d same,marriage is 4 better 4 worst
That's the problem. Men can cheat but once woman try am na to send her packing. A man's world sha,me I can see myself cheating on my husband even if he has cheated. What would a woman tell her family and kids if caught cheating? It's a shameful act but not justifying men cheating. Women close ur legs and pray to be a man in the next world so u can cheat and get away with it.
you are such a hypocrite. you cheated she cheated you guys are now even. how would you have felt if she treated you the same way you are treating her now when you cheated. men and their double standards.
Remind yourself why you married her in the first place. Did you love her? As in really love her? If you did you need to with the grace of God find your way back to that place when you loved her and therefore accepted her with all her faults and married her.
You say you are disgusted with her and can't find a place in your heart to forgive her. In everything we need to remember God. She is trying her best to get back in your good books and you are being this way cause she doesn't know you too cheated on her. Stop being a hypocrite.
Pray and confess to her , then take it from there. Cause you are both guilty here.
welcome to the men's world where they always get to have it their way!! you have cheated on her before and i'm sure she forgave and moved on but you can't do the same for her. i can understand that it is very hard for a man to let go of the haunting and terrifying images of his partner being with another man but i believe that love conquers all. if you really love your wife, as hard as it is, you have to move on from what happened and give your marriage another chance if not for anything, do it for your kids. i will suggest that you go away for some time, think and pray about it. ask for God's direction and if possible go see a counselor. you seem like a nice man so please whatever you do let it be in the best interest of your family and trust me divorce is certainly not it. may God see you through this.
If men cheat we forgive dem buh if women do its over...wat sort of tin is dat...find a way n 4gv ur wife n mk tins work...trust me if u guys work dis tin out ur marriage will b brand new...most importantly commit err tin to God Almighty...
GO SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST. TALK WITH HER, LET HER KNOW HOW U FEEL, DEN GIVE HER A BREAK. DURING THAT BREAK, BOOK APPOINTMENTS WITH A PSYCHOLOGIST, HE'LL TELL U THE RELEVANT THERAPY.SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST, HAVING SOMEONE U CAN TALK TO, THATS WILLING TO LISTEN WILL DO U A LOT OF GOOD. BUT FIRST, GIVE HER A LITTLE BREAK, MAYBE LEAVE WHERE U STAY TO SOMWHERE ELSE OR SOMTIN.
Exactly!! She forgave you and if God forgave you for your previous infidelity then you best extend that towards her and make it work! For goodness sake its for better for worse people please stop taking marriage as an ordinary dating relationship!
I am a guy, but this has got to be the most selfish, self important crap a nigga said out in public I EVER heard. U cheated also my man, by your standards she should be disgusted with you as well... Sadly, this your feeling will not change simply because I point out that it is stupid, pele. You need therapy bro, a good helping of forgiveness and a reality check.
dude u r rly pathetic and selfish abeg take ur stupid story and ur sorry ass outta dis blog what rots u tink women r jux play things wen u cheated u felt it was cool now she cheated ur opening ur big mouth to yarn balls btw if she didnt tell u wud neva know.u cheated u sinned against God n ur wife she did n sinned against u n God who are u to judge biko take several seats behind me...u can as well pack ur tins n leave the house.thank me later
U cn dish bt cnt recieve! Did u think bout hw ur cheatin wuda affected her too bt she forgave u nw ur nt man enuf to be a man n move on! Wellll if u cnt den pls leave her so she cn find happiness cuz afer how many years of faithfulness she made a mistake n u cnt be there for her n im sure it smething u did or didnt do dt pushed her into the arms of another man! Kmt! Men! Smh
What is good for the goose is good for the gander. It's all in your mind, overcome the disgust and seeming hate and embrace your wife. Let go of your burden. you are simply killing yourself slowly.
You are angry? That the problem with you men, am not saying what she did was right, it's a sin and it's bad, she has defiled herself. But she has confessed it, and sorry for the mistake she has made, why is it easy for God to forgive us even when we do greater and worst things than this? Don't forget you are not a saint either, you are still hiding the fact that you also cheated on her too. You both are the samething, you both have to let go of the pains and sorrow, stop being selfish and consider your kids, the family is not all about you,you both really need to ask for Gods grace over your family cos you are both sinners, you husband really need to forgive, ask God for the grace.
If you ever loved her and you are a christian try and forgive her.Think about what attracted you to her.Please for the sake of your children and for them not have a broken home,and you a broken marriage. PLEASE STAAAAY.
You once cheated on her remember?What goes around come around(Law of Karma)You were the first person to defile your matrimonial vows,and remember you did not come out to tell your wife you cheated when you did,but you confronted her and she confessed.What if she still denied the fact that she cheated on you after your confrontation?All you need do is call her and make amends,marriage is for better for worse
It ain't easy but i suggest you have to love on...Jesus said...forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us... so u see, you need to buy forgiveness by forgiving others... esp when u are also a culprit...and love covereth all sins... Jesus forgave the adulterous woman so u can do the same... it aint easy but thats what the master did... so do likewise...sry about it though.. but that's what love is all about...
I strongly do not support anyone (man or wife) cheating on a spouse, but isn't it funny how when its a man involved in cheating, a woman's just expected to forgive and let go, and let the same man (who climbed some other women and probably got some "claps" or worse too)make love to her? After all, "he is still her husband"! Oh yeah! But when its the woman involved, its unheard of that she is completely forgiven. O dear! Mr Poster, how can you bear to touch her again with the knowledge that she broke your marital vows(vows that you have forever cherished and "never broken"? Bikko I beg you in the name of God, DO NOT tell us now that you're going to stay married to her out of pity, if you do not want her anymore, please set her free and let her move on with her life while she's still young. No matter that it could have been your infidelity in the past that paved the way for her adultery. Set her free and let her bear the pain of being a divorcee, perhaps she might still find fulfillment in life again if she truly repents and asks God's forgiveness. Staying stuck in a marriage where a man can hardly stand your presence let alone your touch? That hurts and can lead to suicide.
Can u hear urself? Has it ever occurred to u dat she cheated on u to retaliate? The bottom line is dat u're both guilty. Since she's making every effort to make ur marriage work, I suggest u quit whining and try to make it work with her if for nothing else but for the sake of ur kids. Believe u me, a broken home affects kids in all kinds of weird ways. Goodluck!
oh no so men cant stand cheating yet they can snap pictures of girls naked with them en. If I know your wife i go tell her well done. If you like pack i wish nah oyibo land all your labour will be for her, you will surely meet a woman that squeeeze life out of you. AND THIS your thoughts of stabbing or whatever you better deal with it or spend your life in prison .
Why would u cheat and admit? Bad enough her wife admitted it. He will never forgive or forget. Women can but men? No way it's like letting is manhood down. Men are like lions daring other animals not to outshine him or take away his food while alive. This man will not forget or forgive. Men in the house know what I mean. Women don't confess to ur man if you cheated,don't let his smile make you confess even if he swears never to be angry ,na lie be that o.
After sometime he will remember and feel bad again. Well Mr forgive her,am sure she is a good woman bcos real Badt women with bad minds will never confess even if u carry them go Lie detector lol. Until u see dyke for their to to to dey won't confess.
But Oga you cheated on her first na and am sure she forgave you, she probably cheated as at the time she found out you were cheating and she decided it was an eye for an eye (Don't get me wrong, am not saying she was right for cheating but we get hurt to the extent we act out of anger and frustration). If you really want the marriage to stay because of the kids you have for her then forgive her the wrong she did like she forgave you and move on. You can both talk it over and pray for each other, ask God to restore the first love you had for each other
find forgiveness for yourself 1st in your heart, learn to forgive yourself, then you ll learn to forgive her. if not let her go. dnt make her a prisoner in your house. its not fair any.
Ehn! So it hurts se? Now how do you think she felt when she found out that you cheated? What is good for the goose is fit for the gander. I have no sympathy for you, if you have any more feelings for your wife stay and work on your marriage. If not pity her and walk out before the devil pushes u to do something stupid. Hissss.
So its best 4 men to cheat buh wen a woman cheats its a crime, did she end d marriage wen u cheated on her? Selfish man. So it hurts wen ur luved one cheats on u, didn't tink bout d damage u ll bring to ur home wen u cheated now she disgusts u don't u tink u disgust her too. U bata get over urself if u don't wnt her again dan make her luk d way u met her b4 u married her n get out of her life. NONSENSE
Man u cheated on b4 now she is into what u introduced to her and u 're angry? Please go back to urself and work on ur marriage. Remember u have to love her as ur wife first, if u really love her for d first time u wouldn't ve gone outside or cheated on her as u has done. According to ur words, she is even trying to work things out and u r making it worst. Please get yourself.
i sincerely think you two need to sit and talk about this thoroughly. the two of you should lay down your feelings after all communication is the key to a successful marriage. the more you hold it in, the more you'll hate her and end up doing something you'll regret for the rest of your life. Also, it's not ideal to leave her since there are 4 children involve. do everything u can to keep your family together. i'm sure she'd have felt this way too if she found out abt your cheating ways. think abt this carefully.
u r a fool... now u know how she felt... having said that you will be able to forgive her, just give it time. And think about the fact that she forgave you too.
u ave to learn to forgive. think about your children. and besides u once cheated too. I think you should also confess that to her. if you are a christian, i'd advice you to pray.
Abeg wake up. Forgive and move on positively. she is your wife forever. if you dare divorced her, then those kids will never forgive you no matter how well you tried to impress them. At list your not innocent. even as we speak you are still cheating so what are you saying. If u dare leave her confession to you, even Heavens will not forgive you. Babz
For the sake of your kids, kill her! That way, your anger will go away .they will never know what happened and they will cherish her memory. If you divorce her, your kids will know what she did and might hate her for the rest of their lives... the psychological effect on them won't be nice. Take my advice.
You need a marriage councellor to help u two. Its easier for a woman to forgive a cheating man, but forgiveness is not reciprocated if tables are turned.
Abeg, get over it. Take solace from d fact that Men are ardent Cheats. Check yourself, treat her like a woman and fuck her well. When u do that regularly, ur prick will be her friend and she won't go for one outside. Take am easy ooooo
WHY ARE YOU FEELING THIS IRRITATED, REMEMBER U ARE ALSO GUILTY OF SUCH SIN (LET HE WHO IS INNOCENT CAST THE FIRST STONE). IF YOU CAN WASH YOURSELF CLEAN OF YOUR INFIDELITY THEN YOU CAN STAND BEFORE YOUR WIFE THAT I WANT TO LEAVE/DIVORCE YOU ON THE BASES ON INFIDELITY. TO FORGIVE IS DIVINE FIND THE STRENGTH AND PRAY. GOD BE WITH U & UR WIFE AT THIS TIME
y do guys(especially those that cheating is like a daily routine to) always find it hard to forgive when deir woman cheats(and shes even remorseful and faithful enuf to confess). Men are just hypocrites! (not dat im saying its right to cheat)
When Christ found another woman in a similar situation, he asked any of those assailing her, who had no sin, to cast the first stone. Since you have already admitted to sinning just like her, I would say forgive and forget, cheat happens!!
How can a charcoal b calling a pot black? U cheated also. Pls get a life. When u were cheating on her too didn't knw it wasn't gd. Pls work on Ʊя̲̅ marriage n love Ʊя̲̅ wife so both of u will raise Ʊя̲̅ kids well. Ekwuchagokwam!
You don't want to forgive her ....so what opinion do you from LIBERS??? u CHEATED AND SHE DID SAME..YET SHE FORGAVE YOU BUT U WONT DO THE SAME! hEAVEN HELP UR SOUL
You should stay. Does she know you cheated on her in the past? if yes then ask her how she felt about it and still forgave you despite your infidelity. If no then you both need to sit down and talk. Communication as u know breaks barriers, if you feel talking about it won't resolve the issue then do the honorable thing of going to a seasoned counselor or someone you feel u can trust like your pastor for advice and trusted counsel. At the same time go to God in prayers and He will help u to forgive and forget. satan is really using the weapon of unforgiveness to create room for separation which will eventually lead to divorce. God hates divorce as written in 1Corinthians 7 vs 10-11. Please you've got your children looking up to you don't let them down. I believe this is your trying period and what counts is how you are handling it. Don't forget if you feel overwhelmed by it all just go to God in prayers and i believe you'll overcome. No one is perfect and above mistakes. God bless you.
Well, think know the feeling. Several years ago, my girl friend (now my wife) was cheating on me. I found out, confronted her and while it took her a while to admit, she confessed. I married her. Although I forgave her, I let her know the limits and boundaries that I felt I could not tolerate. 10 tears after marriage; I stupidly fell into a relationship with a colleague in the office. She found out. My marriage took terrible turn. She couldn't forgive but stayed in the marriage. Its almost three years since that incident, I think we have learnt to parch our marriage and have moved on. Pains of the incidents still come in flashes... but we have to move on.. because we decided to make it work... because we truly loved one another... and we had allowed the devil to enter and try to destroy our marriage. A few these quotes may help:...
Lord Chesterfield said..“Little, vicious minds abound with anger and revenge, and are incapable of feeling the pleasure of forgiving their enemies.”
Mahatma Gandhi said “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
And I dare say forgiveness does not change the past.. it rather enlarges the future..
Sugar Girl said... You are a moron! She cheated 11 years ago, you found out, she confessed, she's sorry, she has tried to make it up, am sure she doesn't cheat anymore...
But you cheated too!!! Divorce her nah, mtsheeww! and go to hell to marry queen of the coast.
Are you a devil? NO!, you should forgive her and bet me she will never do it again. You did the same thing she too did so you should find out the reason two of you were doing so and guide against it. I believe there is what you as a man is not doing that made her to be cheating, try and do it right. Make her to understand that marriage is of God and should be kept holy and you should live by examples. I'm talking out of experience. My dear try because your wife & children need you most now. Meanwhile where do you think you are running to?? TO an ANGEL HOLY MARY????? Hell NO! may be a WORST woman.
I think he should seek help in church and if it is still not working then he should leave before he snaps and does something he will regret for the rest of his life.
I can imagine how difficult this is for the both of you but you really need to get a hold on yourself. Both of you have defiled your bed and I think you both need to forgive yourselves. You both can start all over again. Pray for forgiveness, Rededicate your marriage to God, and enjoy your marriage. You have starved your wife of sex for so long...... You need to fix it. And you also need to stay true cos I've got the feeling u're seeing another woman. May God touch your heart.
y are men so self centred, egocentric n hypocritical at the same time cos i've come to realise that cheating men especially find it hard to forgive. you cheat its a normal thing and your woman makes a mistake and is remorseful and faithful enuf to tell you the truth...now ur disgusted...mtsheeew
Well this is marriage,you better be careful what you wish for...everyone is cheating these days..so forgive your wife,and forgive your self...start all over....good luck hypocrite
Dear forgive her, the fact she told u means shez not proud of what she did and requires forgiveness frm both God and u! Marriage like roses have thorns too but the ability to stay put and make it wrk determines the God in u. Plsss just give her another chance leaving will only cause a set back in ur life. Shez a gud wife to have told u! May God open ur eyes and strenghten u.
I understand how you feel bro. It happens to me, when i find my girlfriend cheating i BREAK UP sharply even though i cheat. I suggest you so same cuz that way your happiness will be restored. Remember your wife might cheat on you again....
I can imagine how difficult this is for the both of you but you really need to get a hold on yourself. Both of you have defiled your bed and I think you both need to forgive yourselves. You both can start all over again. Pray for forgiveness, Rededicate your marriage to God, and enjoy your marriage. You have starved your wife of sex for so long...... You need to fix it. And you also need to stay true cos I've got the feeling u're seeing another woman. May God touch your heart.
Why is every1 insulting him at least he's admitting he has a problem that's y he came out to get advice. Young man it won't b easy to forgive her but its all about prayers. Nothing is impossible, if only we had good counselling group in nigeria. My honest opinion, maybe you need a break to think things true, ur Ego has been bruised. But leaving her isn't d solution. The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know. I pray everything works out for u guys 4d sake of d kids.
How do you think she felt when you cheated? Now you see what women have to go through because men refuse to uphold their marital vows. Who knows if she wanted you to felt the hurt she felt when you cheated on her. There is no denying what she did was WRONG but try to make it work for the sake of your children and for the simple fact that you are not innocent. Please seek counselling (not necessarily from the church) to help you get your marriage back on track.
i think men are crazy ...do u think its only you dat is capable of emotions its ok wen u cheat but it isnt ok wen she cheats get over ur stupid self nd make ur marriage work
I can imagine how difficult this is for the both of you but you really need to get a hold on yourself. Both of you have defiled your bed and I think you both need to forgive yourselves. You both can start all over again. Pray for forgiveness, Rededicate your marriage to God, and enjoy your marriage. You have starved your wife of sex for so long...... You need to fix it. And you also need to stay true cos I've got the feeling u're seeing another woman. May God touch your heart.
Brav!!!! Go back to your wife, hold her and show her love... the more you talk to her the more you get attracted to her. Please never attempt hitting her aii? Just show interest and give it time aii.
Useless man..you cheated and she dis the same and you are opening that your dirty mouth to complain..Will you shattap there oniranu..stupid cheat.Is it not you that started the game?You probably don't even satisfy her in bed.. After shining Congo of different women you have the guts to talk of disgust.May sango shave your skull. you are lucky she's even repentant.I hope she enjoyed the new man thoroughly now that she's back with your gray hair infested pubes.If you like don''t go and buy karma sutra books to learn how to please your wife,you think she wasn't tired of having sex with one prick for 11 years?add that to all the fake moans and having to deal with your cheating lying ass. MY friend go and work on your marriage joooo..next time you zip up.I wonder if you thought people would support you?
Isn't this soo stupid and selfish of you?!! You cheated and she did too,u think she doesn't get the feeling of wanting to stab u too? Or she doesn't have the right to feel the way u do seeing that u cheated too? Get over yourself and if u like don't touch her or do ur duties as her husband,perfect excuse for her to go back to her cheating ways, if u don't want to make it work,den leave, she's not holding a gun to ur head,is she?
U re just a stupid n selfish man.Is it only men that can cheat n get away with it. Mtchewwwwwww. You feel like killing her,GO Ahead n see if thunder Won't strike u dead bcos u re so guilty as well. Isiaki like u......
I think men are full of crap. If u can't forgive her then move on. Let me tell u, YOU r d reaason she cheated on u. She wasn't happy either cos u didn't give her attention, or she found out u cheated, or u simply suck in bed. Do her a favour and leave sef. She deserves a better man. Hiss!
All the females responded with the same bitterness and sarcasm that you can get. Take it easy abeg, the poor guy incurred your wrath by expressing himself.I will not side with him, neither will I crucify him before you but know ye that its a man's world and men try to get away with everything...good or evil!!!
To start with, both of u are yet to surrender ur lifes to Christ Jesus, there is presence of worldliness in ur relationship that's why u cheat at each other, resist d devil and he will flee from u, allow Holy Spirit to take charge of your home,He will bring peace,joy and love.
Y the abuse people? d dude is only seeking advice and not curses ,do u realise u can simply read d post and not comment or keep ur irritating comments to ur self...no1 is perfect here and its also not right 4 any1 2 cheat in a marriage or relationship but we know d statistics of men cheating....the truth about d matter is all men cheat,its even hard for d cardinal to practice celibacy...my advice if u think its not working out and it leading u to commint murder pls take a break dont pistorious ur partner pls..marriage is not for every1
i sincerely think you two need to sit and talk about this thoroughly. the two of you should lay down your feelings after all communication is the key to a successful marriage. the more you hold it in, the more you'll hate her and end up doing something you'll regret for the rest of your life. Also, it's not ideal to leave her since there are 4 children involve. do everything u can to keep your family together. i'm sure she'd have felt this way too if she found out abt your cheating ways. think abt this carefully.
I remembered d day I caught my husband red handed, it was so difficult for me to forgive my husband, becos I gave him my heart, if not for d invention of my mum, I almost left my home, seeing him disgusted me, dat I had to go for HIV test, it is alwaly difficult to forgive d person dat have cheated,I had to forgive for sake of my children and forget toatlly, but in dis case my bro u cheated also and now u can not forgive her. My bro u know what to do, anytime d image appear on ur mind kindly wave it aside and think of d wonderful things she is doing right now, it will help u a lot. Dat is my advice for u kabshi. Linda pls post my comment
I tink u shld take time and revisit d tins dat made u fall in love wit her, dis cld tk a long time but av an open mind while u do dat also put d future of ur kids into consideration and finally, knw dat marriage is for beta or for worse nobody is above mistake u both made d same mistake so don't feel all righteous....put all ur hate aside and try to kiss her wit d tots of wot u once shared....
Well I wldnt blame you much though, at least u have the gutts to admit to us that you also cheated on her, but did u tell her also, that u cheated on her? that may be the reason why she disgusts u. Both of u need to come clean to each other, and probably renew ur commitments with each other. i think if u really want to make ur marriage work again, its up to u. Beating her up or maltreating her will only frustrate ur marriage the more, at times like these u need to stroll down mamory lane so u can remember that its for better or worse. Your wife is ur blessing and ur curse! remember that and do the needful. STOP HATING HER COS U GOT SKELETONS TOO BRUH!!!
To be honest, I think the problem is you not her. Can you please tell me why you are still angry with her because I don't understand why. You better look for that quality that made you fall in love with her in the first place and use it as a point continue loving her now.
Oh, so its not so cool being on the other end of the stick. Imagine all the times you were cheating and how she felt? Now you are feeling it just how she felt it. Do to others what you do to yourself. Dont dish what you cant take. Stay home henceforth and work on your future and marriage.
My friend where do you want to go?! When a man cheats people scream forgiveness and say she can get past the hurt and the pain for better or worse. When a man cheats they start to talk about infinite humiliation as if everything is beyond repair. Is she not a human being? You think she was not humiliated too? What you guys need is counselling and prayer and a determination to make it work. Go and start from scratch and fix your marriage. Dump your kids with grandparents or something and take a vacation together. And who do you want to stab in the eye?! Ta! Let me not ask God to strike you there, feeling like Pistorius
Hypocrite is your name! Seriously though, both of you have done some serious damage to your marriage and by extension, the four children God bestowed upon you. What kind of example is that for your kids to follow? Well, I think this damage can be repaired. You both need to admit and own up to your shortcomings. Typically, most women won't cheat until they have been pushed to the wall, neglected, starved of attention from their husbands. Did you not think that your cheating (even if you didn't tell her, I am sure she must have sensed through your neglect)was in part responsible for her cheating? That maybe somewhere in her warped hurt mind, she thought she would get back at you by cheating too? Neither of your actions is excusable. You need to get counselling asap, that is, if you are still interested in working on your marriage. And why not? I am sure you've committed grievous sins (adultery is one) yet you ask God for forgiveness and He does. Remember : "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". I pray both of you work things out, forgive each other, forgive yourselves and move on especially for the sake of the kids. Don't make them a statistic of broken homes.
The fact that you've not been absolutely true to her does not give you the right to crucify her. If you leave her how sure are you that the next woman will not be worse. Consciously work @ forgiving her and put the proccess of forgeting in place. Marriage is meant for two forgivers. If you've lived with her for 9yrs, you should be friend enough to forgive her. What I am advicing is not human. It will take God. So I believe you should go to Him
U cheated on her,nw u hate her cos she did same to u.do u think she is a firewood.am sure when u were cheatin on her u were nt having sex wit her.i so believe u pushed her to this. Selfish stupid man.
Well you will receive your healing here :) by the time you finish reading the stuff LIBers will say to you, your life will never remain the same. Just go and buy that woman gifts and make love to her.
You are a real beast, animal. When you were enjoying another woman, didn't you know it will come back to you? You chop clean mouth, she too kukuma do am. End of story. All you have to do now is move forward. You both have to go to God in prayer. Feeling disgusted my foot.
4d 9months dat u ve not touched/slept with ur wife,who hav u bin doing t wit? Used dt as a yardstick 2kn weda 24giv or not! Secondly,is there any wrong doing u ve commited dt God hasn't 4given U? Think abt dat! I kn its quite diff 24giv a mate who has cheated buh dt is only true wen d oda mate is innocent buh since dts not true in ur case , PLS dust t off nd move on. She willl alwz b ur wife. Try an rekindle ur luv 4her wen u do she won't disgust u anymor
If you want to go, that's the door,i don't blame the person who called you a conceited bastard,the painful thing is that this story may be made up,i wish i was talking to a real person let me give him the tongue lashing of his life.You cant forgive because she cheated on you but you cheated on her and she not only forgave you but still stayed in your house and she did not puncture you eyes,you are a big fool.
Mr oga stay in your house and u must try and be happy ode oshi! Didn't u do d same? So is ok 4 a guy 2 trip and fall on pussy and wen its d womans turn ur disgusted abi? Are u a learner? Men like touching oda people's wife or girlfriend and dey will do anyting 4 someone eles nt 2 touch deir... Mstchew, Karma is a bitch so live wit it..
u cheated, she cheated..... deal with it. simple as that. But i think both of you have to talk about it. abeg oooo dont do anything you will regret ooooo.
Its a hard decision man, but stay and work it out. Look deep in her eyes and u'll see d reason why u fell in love with her before. Or better still sit with υ̲̣̥r̲̅ wife and talk it out. Trust me it really helps. And for d sake of υ̲̣̥r̲̅ kids, guy put υ̲̣̥r̲̅ shii together and make it work. For d sake of υ̲̣̥r̲̅ kids man. For υ̲̣̥r̲̅ kids, its really worth it.
u cheated, she cheated..... deal with it. simple as that. But i think both of you have to talk about it. abeg oooo dont do anything you will regret ooooo.
Shit Happens. The Devil you Know is better Than the Devil you don't know. Try and love her more and I bet you She will not Cheat again. After all you self fit don Cheat like 100 times before but too you na normal thing. She cheat once you Para. No Be So Broda. Stay with her and get the Memory of your Mind
Fyi I am a guy amnd I know that gone are the days of our mamas who cried till they had stroke becos of a cheating papa. Today? You cheat, she cheats. So let everyone regardless of gender do the right thing and be faithul. My guy if u chase am she fit go be cougar and u will look like a fool when ya wifey drives around town with a PSquare look like ooooo.
this is where women are far better than us... U do her, she took it in and stayed u, now she do u, u wan end d tin.....prolly bcos u feel she belittled ur pesin by sleeping wiv anoda guy(guy shine ya eyes, it is ya yeye ego working here)... U musta loved ur wife for marrying her.. Go back to dah love dah u guys shared, put it in prayer and if u fear(love) God, u wld make ur marriage work.... Shikena Wish u all d best broda
U cheated she cheated.... Now u are disgusted!!! Get over yourself
ReplyDeleteImagine that!
DeleteMale chauvnist! She forgave him now he's finding it difficult to do the same.
Go f..'. urself!
http://justporsh.blogspot.com
Thank u...
DeleteThey always think is a man's world
Lol dats men 4u o,no mind d yeye man!anyway u Can't go nywhere oga!u av no choice bt2wrk it out!4children no b child's play!go2a church if u must,n seek conselling!
DeleteHAVE AN AFFAIR, SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE. MAN WAS NEVER MADE FOR MONOGAMY. AND FUCK ALL YOU RELIGIOUS BIGOTS, NO AFTER LIFE!!!
DeleteThank u!
DeleteHa ha ha ha ntooooooooooo! Mnow you know how women feel. Her own na one guy o! Some women have to bear living with chronic womanizers and routinely trat themselves for STDs gotten from a philanderer. Oya leave her u hear? U go jam ya fellow ashi***
DeleteHehehe.. Na wah o! I don't understand how some of us men think.. So u cheated, and she did too 50/50 No cheating! I understand that women are NOT allowed to cheat, but men too shouldn't, not because they can but because there's no justification that makes it right for men to do so too! Let it go man.. U can choose not to touch her again, ur business but don't cheat on her again and u gotta stay because of the kids! Else.. Whatever happens, u caused it! Yes YOU did!
DeleteKiller_Keed!
Mukite! Stay there. Didn't u cheat on her too? I tire for these men nd their rules dt apply to only them.
ReplyDeleteFlips hair nd walks away.
First to comment btw. :p
Amanda R
No u dnt have 2 end it,d devil is trying 2 destroy ur marriage but dnt give him d chance,try 2 reconcile with ur wife,prayers will help but pls do not lay ur hands on her,just take it easy everything will be alright
ReplyDeleteCheater oshi! When you cheated on her did she hate on you? Now she has cheated on you and you are crying blue murder. May Sango not strike you dead sha. When they say you reap what you sow. Were you thinking its only for tithes?
ReplyDeleteSAdly lots of young marriages are going through this. Men cheating , wives cheating quietly and cleaning mouth and then putting a united front for children sake and society pressures ....... Yet so miserable together.
ReplyDeleteIf you dont beleive me , take a survey ..... MAN suck it up and stay in your home, there are so many troubled marriage like urs, YOU WONT BE THE FIRST , LAST OR THE ONLY ONE IN THIS TYPE
Stay ke? I beg go! You can't forgive her. Pls let her go before you pull the trigger like oscar
ReplyDelete4 not ending tins 4 ova 9mths, u̶̲̥̅̊ can alow dis tot go if u̶̲̥̅̊ want it, u̶̲̥̅̊ av bin considerate, pray to God nd U̶̲̥̅̊'l find luv wit her again.u̶̲̥̅̊ av bin gud enuf pls dnt let it end cos of ur kids
ReplyDeleteBut u cheated on her too y is it so difficult for u to forgive her?hmmmm men always selfish,if it was d other way round she will forgive u one hand,na u sabi if u wan throw ur marriage and family away,do u think u will get something better out there.my advice for u is to stay and try to work thru it and wit God all will be well
ReplyDeleteYou said, you have cheated on her as well, so why do you want to kill and end your marriage. Hard as it seems there must be a way out. FORGIVE, FORGIVE FORGIVE. If she was the one she would have forgiven you over and over. Go to God pray and ask Him to remove the bitterness and whatever you feel It is possible for you to love her again. With God all things are possible. Give your marriage one more try. Dont let marriage be one of the statistics of divorce.
ReplyDeleteits very painful in d first place , bt u 've to let thins go. u can only do dat urself, by allowing d anger in u 2 go, and jus take it as if notin has happened at all......... U hav 2 let it go or else it wount work, hw will d children cope witout their mother by their side, i knw its hard bt u can do dis by 4giving her 4rm ur heart.
ReplyDeleteyou are disgusting for feeling that way.so because you have balls its ok for you to mess around but it sucks to be on the recieving side right?maybe if you had stayed home and handled you biz she wouldnt have strayed.its your fault cos if u were being all d man she needs some oda guy wldnt have been able to get with her.i'm disgusted you have the balls to say you are disgusted.men like you are what is wrong with the world.mschewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
ReplyDeleteWell said. They think they can eat their cake and have it. I'm sure he cheated more than once but she forgave him. What goes around comes around dear u better sit home, pray and let all the hurt out because even if u find someone else you'll still have to deal with the problems of a polygamous home and the next womam may be better or worse.
DeleteYou are an asshole, yet you also cheated on her. You better stay there, for better or for worse. And it seems like you are not even trying to make things work. African men are just pure evil, African women begin to respect yourselves. Stop degrading yourselves, men will never respect you until you learn to respect yourselves, they will never know your value until you show them.
ReplyDeleteDuring your turn she forgave you and now you can't try and work up some forgiveness?!? She did a horrible thing but you are being a tad bit pretentious my good friend. Get some counselling and get your family back together. Both you and wifey need to reassess things and focus on building back that thing that brought you together.
ReplyDeleteThe energy spent on trying to kill/stab her can be used to rebuild your home. Be the man and do the right thing.
Trust is like a mirror, once shattered things can never go back as it were, put the pieces together but it would never be like a new mirror again, infidelity is the height for me, I don't think I can live with that if I can't forgive that act, if it is me and after this long period I still can't let it go then its best to let her go.
ReplyDeleteSo its ok to cheat on ur wife then when she does this stupid ass Sermon of 'trust broken" and what not comes up. Fuck u and u beta stay in that Marriage fucking asshole.
DeleteBut he also cheated. What if the lady was trying to pay him back? If he never cheated he would have a say, but he cheated!!!
DeleteBut I bet if you cheat on her you'll expect the mirror to magically fix itself. Its not just about him its about the kids and what makes u think your next will be better?
Deleteυ̲̣̥r̲̅ talking shii. Get ova urself man!
DeleteU re soo not serious not jst dat u re wicked. U even admitted to have cheated on her too so y d hate! Plsss d tin u have to do is forgive urself first and to forgive her will be easy cos in dis situation she isn't d only one @ fault. U dnt need advice cos deep down in u, u knw d rite tin to do which is to forgive her and love her as much as possible.afterall she hasn't continued in d act and I believe by now must have learnt frm her lessons, u will only cos more harm if u keep up with ur anger and unforgivin spirit. May God bless ur home.
ReplyDelete@TWINKLE!
To err is human to forgive is devine for better for worst till death do u both part. So marriage is about God nd his will.
ReplyDeleteyou have some nerve.if u had stayed home and handled you bizniz instd of messing around someoda guy wldnt have played your part.you left your wife needing u while u wr satisfying women u had no biz satisfying and u dare complain?men like you are what is wrong with the world.mschewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.why is it ok 4 u to cheat?or u dont think you are disgusting too?
ReplyDeleteAgbaya or whatever. u said u av cheated too so why are u making it look like she is d only one guilty here? meanwhile she confessed, what about u? did u confess to her or u just kept it to urself.dats d problem wit men,ur d only one entitiled to cheat and get away wit it. good luck to u in hating her, stupid man mcheeeeeeeew
ReplyDeleteI'm sure he has even cheated more than once that's why he isn't in a hurry to forgive her. Stab her and rot in jail, at your age ur seeking advice on the internet, go visit a marraige councelor if u are serious.
DeleteObviously you still resent her for betraying you by having an affair. Have you ever wondered if she too felt this way when she found out you cheated on her as well? Men make it feel like it's ok when a man cheats but they cry blue murder when a woman cheats. What's good for the goose... Having said that, I think you should see a marriage counsellor to work through your resentment. If you ever loved her before I believe love can always be rekindled.
ReplyDeleteAll the best!
Its a man's world indeed.bros did u say u cheated on her too?if she can forgive u why don't u 2 just focus on building your marriage,learn from your mistakes.fix what made u cheat on each other and move on.
ReplyDeleteMy brother this is no rocket science,its obvious what u both need is a somewhat break from each other.
ReplyDeleteAtleast it will give u room to analyse how possible it is for u both to still stay together. Its obvious u're enranged and can do anything,plz take a break from her for d for sometime,to avoid d post of how u mudered ur wife making the news here.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310
sharrap there. Can't you see how self centered you are? you said you cheated on her too in the past, now she cheated and you can't forgive her? your love for her died just like that? WORLD PEOPLE...GO AND SLEEP, AFTER WAKING UP START A NEW BEGINING WITH HER
ReplyDeleteQF
ReplyDeleteok, u nid to think abt how she too felt or wud feel if she found out u cheated on her! Try not to dwell on that tot...make consious efffort to forgive her, its obvious u havent. U both made a mistake, deal with it nd move on...will u?
Selfish self conceited bastard! Its ok fr u to cheat n den b 4given n nt her? Cz she's a woman... Leave d marriage already, u disgust in her is already quite plain in dis post! I wish u d same luck u wish unto ur wife u chauvinistic he goat!
ReplyDeleteNancy
awwwwwwwwwww 2bad
ReplyDeletebrb
Moral of the story What goes around comes around, What I have learnt If I ever cheat I berra keep it to myself even with all the facts I will just say it wasnt me #Shaggy'sVoice#
ReplyDeleteGoing is not an option
ReplyDeletewww.naijaopenmouth.com
When you cheated she stuck around and got over it so I suggest you do the same. Marriage counselling might help tho.
ReplyDeleteBELOVED FAST AND PRAY AND SEEK GOD WHO FORGIVES ALL MEN THEIR SINS.
ReplyDeleteMatt 6:12
12 and forgive us our sins ,
just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.
NLT
Matt 6:14
14 "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.
NLT
Bro forgive her and make it work again
ReplyDeleteu cheated on her now u think because she confessed to u shes d devil if she didnt tell u u wont kno trust me wht is killin u isnt dat u dont luv her anymore it is the fact that u dunno if she wud still do it,better go and make ammends in ur home forgive her n move on happily it wud take a while bt ud get over it.while at it ask God for direction.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm #sitsbackwithpopornandfivealive#
ReplyDeleteBro forgive her and make it work again
ReplyDeleteYou're very mean. If she forgave you when u cheated, why can't u? Don't even be selfish. What will happen your kids?!! Seperatn is the worst thing that can happen to them. I'm sure u ddnt tell her u cheated too. Think about how she feels and ask her why she did it. U were feeling this way befr. Talk to her and better go see a counsellor. And again, do not be selfish! U're not the only one in the marriage!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteNiccur Pleasssse!
ReplyDeleteStay with your wife and try
To work it out.You cheated
Too.Its just too bad that
saintly perception you had of your wife has been crushed!
Pray to God and Go for Counseling with Your
Wife if you have the Forbearance.
Hmmm! I feel so sorry for u nd urlwife. I can belt she's full of regrets now. This is not a blaming game of what led to what. As Der is no justification for both of u go hv cheated. U need counselling and prayers. U both need help. I pray Godds restores peace n love in ur home. Pls be patient n let God work in ur family.
ReplyDeleteGet some therapy fast ( individual and couples) before someone gets hurt. If you still can't handle it, walk away so you don't hurt her and get into trouble too
ReplyDeleteSelfish foolish man! That's what you are! U also did the same thing that you currently hate your wife for...well, just start afresh, you both.
ReplyDeleteGet some therapy fast ( individual and couples) before someone gets hurt. If you still can't handle it, walk away so you don't hurt her and get into trouble too
ReplyDeleteThis has to be the most selfish idiot i have ever seen. You cheated on her! She cheats on you and yet you can stand that! What nonsense!
ReplyDeleteWhy are you so angry? How do you think she felt when you also cheated. I am not justifying her action but try and forgive her.
ReplyDeleteYou have four kids! That is not a small number and they need both of you in their lives. It might take time but you need to get over it and let it go. Men's egos are always badly bruised when something like this happens but if she could forgive you, also forgive her.
You both need to start on a clean slate-turn to God and stop all the cheating. Try and re-discover the love you both shared at the beginning.
Please put your kids interests first. Tearing the family apart will be devastating for them. Pray to God for the power of forgiveness. It will be fine eventually.
dont end things with her because even if you end the marriage, you wont be able to find peace of mind. the hurt, anger, bitterness in your heart has led to subsequent hatred. my dear you need to settle with your inner mind and decide that you want to be happy, you want to enjoy your marriage. and you cant make that decision without asking the holy spirit to help you. humanly speaking its not always possible to forgive and move on but God will help you, give it a try and hand over all your burden to him for he cares for you, your wife and you four angels.
ReplyDeletethats how it feels when u men cheat. suck it up already
ReplyDeleteU already know what you want to do so why bother ask? It's okay for you to "make a mistake"and expect to be forgiven while she continues with u like nothing happened. Oya now, sebi it's for better for worse, this is her worse, deal with it. I am sure u have also dated a married woman in the past. what goes around comes around??? PS. Not justifying her behaviour oooo, what is wrong is wrong.
ReplyDeleteYou have not forgiven her then. Also, you indulged in what is making you to distaste her. So, you have no reason whatsoever to feel the way you are feeling. You are just being selfish. Fidelity in marriage is suppose to be mutual, so, don't act as if she's the only person that owes a duty of fidelity. And being a man, it is my guess, that you must have cheated on her the more, and she may have cheated on you as a way of getting back at you. Your hands are not clean, they are equally dirty. He that comes to equity must come with a clean hands.
ReplyDeleteMy advice, you both have some forgiving to do. If that was the only thing she's done wrong, learn to move past that and make a success of your marriage. A devil you know is better than the angel you don't know. Marriages are full of ups and downs. That's my take on your situation. Thanks.
fuck off
ReplyDeleteu have to be honest and faithful, forgive and forget the past. Accept her back as your wife and life partner
ReplyDeletehey bro, you also cheated on your wife. its now 50-50. So ask God to help you love her like you used to before she said 'yes to you'. Teach yourself to love her, cos you must love her. God help you
ReplyDeleteBeloved, thank God for your SINCERITY IN CONFESSING THAT YOU SOWED INFIDELITY IN YOUR MARRIAGE FIRST. THIS LADY FORGAVE YOU; REMEMBER.
ReplyDeleteGal 6:7-8
7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life
NIV
IT IS TIME TO SOW TO PLEASE THE SPIRIT OF GOD; by forgiveness. FAST AND PRAY. 9 months is a huge lacuna for another string of cheating. Do not expect to reap joy and good marriage after sowing cheating.
To er is human...please forgive her. I'm not saying so because you too cheated but that it is better to forgive. Ask God to help you forgive and He will. Break up is only the easy way out now, but with time, you'll find out it's not easy. Forgive her and stay together, even if it's for the children. God be with you.
ReplyDeleteSTUPID. YOU AND A LOTTA GUYS OUT THERE. I'M SURE YOU NEVER EVEN CONFESSED TO YOUR CHEATING IN THE PAST AND NOW BECAUSE SHE DID YOU CAN'T STAND HER.
ReplyDeleteSTUPID STUPID. GO AND BE ALONE. BECAUSE THE NEXT LADY YOU MEET WOULD ALSO CHEAT. YES WE CHEAT WHEN WE HAVE CHEATING MEN TOO.
AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE CAPS \_____
stariobran
some men are just selfish and inconsiderate... u also cheated on her... u have no right whatsoever to be disgusted -__-
ReplyDeleteYou are a deadbeat arrogant prik, that's what you are. Can dish it, but can't take it, huh?
ReplyDeleteHow do you think women feel when they know their man sleeps around, yet expects them to still play the role of a dutiful wifey? It's easier for us men to cheat, yeah, but when you have a good woman but your randiness makes her look for emotional support elsewhere, leading to intimacy on her part, you better blame no one else but your sorry arse. (This doesn't include loose girls that pretend to have changed just to marry o! I mean good, wife-material girls with
homely values and good self-esteem. Someone like Linda, for eg. Runs girls will sleep around even after marriage, simply give them some time to plan it!)
If you're man enuff, confess your own tryst to her then wait and see how quickly that smug smile on your face will evaporate!
Your 'i-am-better-than-you' attitude to her is bcos she doesn't know just how much of a hypocrite you are being at the moment. To save your marriage I suggest that you admit your own wrong doing and try not to be controlled by your smaller head.
See your yeye complaining mouth. Why cant u forgive her? Remember, she forgave u n u continued living happily....INGRATE.
ReplyDeleteJst sincerely forgive her frm ur heart dats all it tkes
ReplyDeleteSo its okay for u to cheat and be ok with urself bt u cant forgive ur wife. Ur a selfish man... Just let it go and build ur home again...
ReplyDeleteInteresting. Very interesting that you are so angry now that you are on the receiving end.
ReplyDeleteI would say it is best for you to move on. If you are going to get thoughts of violence and you hate her so much, then it is best for you both to live apart. On the other hand, it may be wise for you to look into yourself and see what drove her into the arms of another man after 11 years of marriage? It seems as though there were big problems in the marriage long before she cheated.
U sir.are an idiot. N anon 4:11pm,u took d words rite outta my mouth.
ReplyDeleteBro, it really hurts when a woman cheats, especially when she's got kids, but let's face it, you're no saint yourself. I think you need to let go, you're so hurt and that's why you have so much anger and hatred for her. I would advise you forgive her from your heart and you can do that by not thinking about the fact that she cheated on you. The healing process is a gradual process, so you have to be patient. I suggest you take it one at a time, focus on her positives and why you married her in the first place, with time, I think you would be able to let go. Another thing is I feel you are a little insecure without knowing it, I mean you're feeling like why should she cheat on me, why? You should find out why she cheated on you, you might learn a thing or two from it. Finally, I would advise you to pray, God is not too busy to listen to you whine about your relationship, he cares for you and is ready to help you only if you ask him, regardless of your sins, so go to him in prayer, you don't have to fast and pray or go to the mountain top, all you have to do is talk to him, open your heart to him. I wish you the best.
ReplyDeleteWhen you begin to express a desire to kill your wife then I don't think there is any reason to advise you to stay. If for any reason you feel there still remains a specter of hope then by all means stay, talk about the kids, but please don't kill your wife. . .for all we know she is harbouring worse thoughts about you,and am quite sure you are in no hurry to leave this world. Get a seperation if you must but try to find that lady you fell in love with through all this mess. God help you.
ReplyDeleteMy dear good friend,since you know you are also guilty of the same crime why get angry with her?what do you think would be her reaction when she gets to know that what you've been crucifying her about you are guilty as well if not worse?A mad man is not told that the sun is shining.Use your tongue in counting your teeth!
ReplyDeleteU dnt av 2 end d marriage,cuz she apologised 2 u,u av 2 try 4get it since she was able 2 4giv u wen u cheated,so u do d same,marriage is 4 better 4 worst
ReplyDeleteNo don't.forgive her.make Ur family work.rekindle!
ReplyDeletePls forgive her,she must have regretted it.
ReplyDeleteThat's the problem. Men can cheat but once woman try am na to send her packing. A man's world sha,me I can see myself cheating on my husband even if he has cheated. What would a woman tell her family and kids if caught cheating? It's a shameful act but not justifying men cheating. Women close ur legs and pray to be a man in the next world so u can cheat and get away with it.
So, its okay for u to cheat but she cant.... Ur a very selfish person... Forgive her and build ur home again.
ReplyDeleteyou are such a hypocrite. you cheated she cheated you guys are now even. how would you have felt if she treated you the same way you are treating her now when you cheated. men and their double standards.
ReplyDeletemy friend get over yourself mtchewww
Abeg go and sit down and drink a bottle of wine wit her did u not cheat too...
ReplyDeletePlease go for counselling at church with your marriage counsellor or Pastor.
ReplyDeleteRemind yourself why you married her in the first place. Did you love her? As in really love her? If you did you need to with the grace of God find your way back to that place when you loved her and therefore accepted her with all her faults and married her.
ReplyDeleteYou say you are disgusted with her and can't find a place in your heart to forgive her. In everything we need to remember God. She is trying her best to get back in your good books and you are being this way cause she doesn't know you too cheated on her. Stop being a hypocrite.
Pray and confess to her , then take it from there. Cause you are both guilty here.
How I wish I can cheat on my husband. men cheat these days like there's an award 2b won. Now u know how she feels when u cheat!
ReplyDeletewelcome to the men's world where they always get to have it their way!! you have cheated on her before and i'm sure she forgave and moved on but you can't do the same for her. i can understand that it is very hard for a man to let go of the haunting and terrifying images of his partner being with another man but i believe that love conquers all. if you really love your wife, as hard as it is, you have to move on from what happened and give your marriage another chance if not for anything, do it for your kids. i will suggest that you go away for some time, think and pray about it. ask for God's direction and if possible go see a counselor. you seem like a nice man so please whatever you do let it be in the best interest of your family and trust me divorce is certainly not it. may God see you through this.
ReplyDeleteYes u cheated, she cheated so y are u getting irritated about the whole issue? Forgive her cos u also did d same tin to her.
ReplyDeleteIf men cheat we forgive dem buh if women do its over...wat sort of tin is dat...find a way n 4gv ur wife n mk tins work...trust me if u guys work dis tin out ur marriage will b brand new...most importantly commit err tin to God Almighty...
ReplyDeleteYes u cheated, she cheated so y are u getting irritated about the whole issue? Forgive her cos u also did d same tin to her.
ReplyDeleteGO SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST. TALK WITH HER, LET HER KNOW HOW U FEEL, DEN GIVE HER A BREAK. DURING THAT BREAK, BOOK APPOINTMENTS WITH A PSYCHOLOGIST, HE'LL TELL U THE RELEVANT THERAPY.SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST, HAVING SOMEONE U CAN TALK TO, THATS WILLING TO LISTEN WILL DO U A LOT OF GOOD. BUT FIRST, GIVE HER A LITTLE BREAK, MAYBE LEAVE WHERE U STAY TO SOMWHERE ELSE OR SOMTIN.
ReplyDeleteForgive her so that u can be forgiven. U are killing urself,let go of bitterness.
ReplyDeleteExactly!! She forgave you and if God forgave you for your previous infidelity then you best extend that towards her and make it work! For goodness sake its for better for worse people please stop taking marriage as an ordinary dating relationship!
ReplyDeleteI am a guy, but this has got to be the most selfish, self important crap a nigga said out in public I EVER heard. U cheated also my man, by your standards she should be disgusted with you as well... Sadly, this your feeling will not change simply because I point out that it is stupid, pele. You need therapy bro, a good helping of forgiveness and a reality check.
ReplyDeletedude u r rly pathetic and selfish abeg take ur stupid story and ur sorry ass outta dis blog what rots u tink women r jux play things wen u cheated u felt it was cool now she cheated ur opening ur big mouth to yarn balls btw if she didnt tell u wud neva know.u cheated u sinned against God n ur wife she did n sinned against u n God who are u to judge biko take several seats behind me...u can as well pack ur tins n leave the house.thank me later
ReplyDeleteU cn dish bt cnt recieve! Did u think bout hw ur cheatin wuda affected her too bt she forgave u nw ur nt man enuf to be a man n move on! Wellll if u cnt den pls leave her so she cn find happiness cuz afer how many years of faithfulness she made a mistake n u cnt be there for her n im sure it smething u did or didnt do dt pushed her into the arms of another man! Kmt! Men! Smh
ReplyDeleteIts win win of a game so get over it bcos u ar not a saint either.
ReplyDeleteWhat is good for the goose is good for the gander. It's all in your mind, overcome the disgust and seeming hate and embrace your wife. Let go of your burden. you are simply killing yourself slowly.
ReplyDeleteStupid goat. An eye for an eye. In ur face sucker
ReplyDeleteMonkey U cheated she cheated u come dey Vex na Igbo(Indian hemp) go full that ur mouth abeg. Go use super glue take paracetamol
ReplyDeleteYou are angry? That the problem with you men, am not saying what she did was right, it's a sin and it's bad, she has defiled herself. But she has confessed it, and sorry for the mistake she has made, why is it easy for God to forgive us even when we do greater and worst things than this? Don't forget you are not a saint either, you are still hiding the fact that you also cheated on her too. You both are the samething, you both have to let go of the pains and sorrow, stop being selfish and consider your kids, the family is not all about you,you both really need to ask for Gods grace over your family cos you are both sinners, you husband really need to forgive, ask God for the grace.
ReplyDeleteIf you ever loved her and you are a christian try and forgive her.Think about what attracted you to her.Please for the sake of your children and for them not have a broken home,and you a broken marriage.
ReplyDeletePLEASE STAAAAY.
Dear Op,
ReplyDeleteYou once cheated on her remember?What goes around come around(Law of Karma)You were the first person to defile your matrimonial vows,and remember you did not come out to tell your wife you cheated when you did,but you confronted her and she confessed.What if she still denied the fact that she cheated on you after your confrontation?All you need do is call her and make amends,marriage is for better for worse
It ain't easy but i suggest you have to love on...Jesus said...forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us... so u see, you need to buy forgiveness by forgiving others... esp when u are also a culprit...and love covereth all sins... Jesus forgave the adulterous woman so u can do the same... it aint easy but thats what the master did... so do likewise...sry about it though.. but that's what love is all about...
ReplyDeleteSelfish motherfucker!! Now u know wht she felt when u cheated on her. Monkey!!
ReplyDeleteI strongly do not support anyone (man or wife) cheating on a spouse, but isn't it funny how when its a man involved in cheating, a woman's just expected to forgive and let go, and let the same man (who climbed some other women and probably got some "claps" or worse too)make love to her? After all, "he is still her husband"!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah! But when its the woman involved, its unheard of that she is completely forgiven. O dear! Mr Poster, how can you bear to touch her again with the knowledge that she broke your marital vows(vows that you have forever cherished and "never broken"?
Bikko I beg you in the name of God, DO NOT tell us now that you're going to stay married to her out of pity, if you do not want her anymore, please set her free and let her move on with her life while she's still young. No matter that it could have been your infidelity in the past that paved the way for her adultery. Set her free and let her bear the pain of being a divorcee, perhaps she might still find fulfillment in life again if she truly repents and asks God's forgiveness. Staying stuck in a marriage where a man can hardly stand your presence let alone your touch? That hurts and can lead to suicide.
Can u hear urself? Has it ever occurred to u dat she cheated on u to retaliate? The bottom line is dat u're both guilty. Since she's making every effort to make ur marriage work, I suggest u quit whining and try to make it work with her if for nothing else but for the sake of ur kids. Believe u me, a broken home affects kids in all kinds of weird ways. Goodluck!
ReplyDeleteU better stay married n make the marriage work,
ReplyDeleteCos both of u r @fault,for the sake of the children.
thats the thing with men..you pple can cheat and get away with it..but if its ur wife..hell will break loose......pathetic!
ReplyDeleteoh no so men cant stand cheating yet they can snap pictures of girls naked with them en. If I know your wife i go tell her well done. If you like pack i wish nah oyibo land all your labour will be for her, you will surely meet a woman that squeeeze life out of you. AND THIS your thoughts of stabbing or whatever you better deal with it or spend your life in prison .
ReplyDeleteMen forget but never forgive. Women forgive but never forget.......its hard..I know....please do forgive her.
ReplyDeleteWhy would u cheat and admit? Bad enough her wife admitted it. He will never forgive or forget. Women can but men? No way it's like letting is manhood down. Men are like lions daring other animals not to outshine him or take away his food while alive. This man will not forget or forgive. Men in the house know what I mean. Women don't confess to ur man if you cheated,don't let his smile make you confess even if he swears never to be angry ,na lie be that o.
ReplyDeleteAfter sometime he will remember and feel bad again. Well Mr forgive her,am sure she is a good woman bcos real Badt women with bad minds will never confess even if u carry them go Lie detector lol. Until u see dyke for their to to to dey won't confess.
You both need Jesus, esp YOU
ReplyDeleteBut Oga you cheated on her first na and am sure she forgave you, she probably cheated as at the time she found out you were cheating and she decided it was an eye for an eye (Don't get me wrong, am not saying she was right for cheating but we get hurt to the extent we act out of anger and frustration). If you really want the marriage to stay because of the kids you have for her then forgive her the wrong she did like she forgave you and move on. You can both talk it over and pray for each other, ask God to restore the first love you had for each other
ReplyDeletefind forgiveness for yourself 1st in your heart, learn to forgive yourself, then you ll learn to forgive her. if not let her go. dnt make her a prisoner in your house. its not fair any.
ReplyDeleteEhn! So it hurts se? Now how do you think she felt when she found out that you cheated? What is good for the goose is fit for the gander. I have no sympathy for you, if you have any more feelings for your wife stay and work on your marriage. If not pity her and walk out before the devil pushes u to do something stupid. Hissss.
ReplyDeleteSo its best 4 men to cheat buh wen a woman cheats its a crime, did she end d marriage wen u cheated on her? Selfish man. So it hurts wen ur luved one cheats on u, didn't tink bout d damage u ll bring to ur home wen u cheated now she disgusts u don't u tink u disgust her too. U bata get over urself if u don't wnt her again dan make her luk d way u met her b4 u married her n get out of her life. NONSENSE
ReplyDeleteMan u cheated on b4 now she is into what u introduced to her and u 're angry? Please go back to urself and work on ur marriage. Remember u have to love her as ur wife first, if u really love her for d first time u wouldn't ve gone outside or cheated on her as u has done. According to ur words, she is even trying to work things out and u r making it worst. Please get yourself.
ReplyDeletei sincerely think you two need to sit and talk about this thoroughly. the two of you should lay down your feelings after all communication is the key to a successful marriage. the more you hold it in, the more you'll hate her and end up doing something you'll regret for the rest of your life. Also, it's not ideal to leave her since there are 4 children involve. do everything u can to keep your family together. i'm sure she'd have felt this way too if she found out abt your cheating ways. think abt this carefully.
ReplyDeleteU r a bloody hypocrite. Get d hell out dickhead. Mtsheeewww. Rubbish. Anuofia. Next!!!
ReplyDeleteu r a fool... now u know how she felt...
ReplyDeletehaving said that you will be able to forgive her, just give it time. And think about the fact that she forgave you too.
u ave to learn to forgive. think about your children. and besides u once cheated too. I think you should also confess that to her. if you are a christian, i'd advice you to pray.
ReplyDeleteYou both should see a counselor.
ReplyDeleteTit for tat tho I dnt support cheating. Pls get over ur disgusted self ril fast and make ur marriage work.
ReplyDeleteAbeg wake up. Forgive and move on positively. she is your wife forever. if you dare divorced her, then those kids will never forgive you no matter how well you tried to impress them. At list your not innocent. even as we speak you are still cheating so what are you saying. If u dare leave her confession to you, even Heavens will not forgive you. Babz
ReplyDeleteAbeg, please get over yourself. You're a hypocrite. She forgave you and moved on so please do the same....mscheww!
ReplyDeleteFor the sake of your kids, kill her! That way, your anger will go away .they will never know what happened and they will cherish her memory. If you divorce her, your kids will know what she did and might hate her for the rest of their lives... the psychological effect on them won't be nice. Take my advice.
ReplyDeletereally get over urself...im sure she was disgusted by you too,i guess its just ur Ego that was hurt.
ReplyDeleteYou need a marriage councellor to help u two. Its easier for a woman to forgive a cheating man, but forgiveness is not reciprocated if tables are turned.
ReplyDeleteGet some counseling! It would help a great deal.
ReplyDeleteAbeg, get over it. Take solace from d fact that Men are ardent Cheats. Check yourself, treat her like a woman and fuck her well. When u do that regularly, ur prick will be her friend and she won't go for one outside. Take am easy ooooo
ReplyDeleteWHY ARE YOU FEELING THIS IRRITATED, REMEMBER U ARE ALSO GUILTY OF SUCH SIN (LET HE WHO IS INNOCENT CAST THE FIRST STONE). IF YOU CAN WASH YOURSELF CLEAN OF YOUR INFIDELITY THEN YOU CAN STAND BEFORE YOUR WIFE THAT I WANT TO LEAVE/DIVORCE YOU ON THE BASES ON INFIDELITY. TO FORGIVE IS DIVINE FIND THE STRENGTH AND PRAY. GOD BE WITH U & UR WIFE AT THIS TIME
ReplyDeleteChai.. Nawa ooo, women can be so callous sha... Kai...
ReplyDeleteu are MAD! selfish idiot. oooHH soooo it is true that a man who cuts peoples heads does not allow any man to hold a knife near him!!!
ReplyDeleteperson wey say hin no want hot water, no dey boil water. ERANKO
how many girls have you slept with since you got married? MUMU!
Nonsense!
ReplyDeletey do guys(especially those that cheating is like a daily routine to) always find it hard to forgive when deir woman cheats(and shes even remorseful and faithful enuf to confess). Men are just hypocrites! (not dat im saying its right to cheat)
ReplyDeleteWhen Christ found another woman in a similar situation, he asked any of those assailing her, who had no sin, to cast the first stone. Since you have already admitted to sinning just like her, I would say forgive and forget, cheat happens!!
ReplyDeleteHow can a charcoal b calling a pot black? U cheated also. Pls get a life. When u were cheating on her too didn't knw it wasn't gd. Pls work on Ʊя̲̅ marriage n love Ʊя̲̅ wife so both of u will raise Ʊя̲̅ kids well. Ekwuchagokwam!
ReplyDeleteYou don't want to forgive her ....so what opinion do you from LIBERS??? u CHEATED AND SHE DID SAME..YET SHE FORGAVE YOU BUT U WONT DO THE SAME! hEAVEN HELP UR SOUL
ReplyDeleteYou should stay. Does she know you cheated on her in the past? if yes then ask her how she felt about it and still forgave you despite your infidelity. If no then you both need to sit down and talk. Communication as u know breaks barriers, if you feel talking about it won't resolve the issue then do the honorable thing of going to a seasoned counselor or someone you feel u can trust like your pastor for advice and trusted counsel. At the same time go to God in prayers and He will help u to forgive and forget. satan is really using the weapon of unforgiveness to create room for separation which will eventually lead to divorce. God hates divorce as written in 1Corinthians 7 vs 10-11. Please you've got your children looking up to you don't let them down. I believe this is your trying period and what counts is how you are handling it. Don't forget if you feel overwhelmed by it all just go to God in prayers and i believe you'll overcome. No one is perfect and above mistakes. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteGod is your answer!
ReplyDeletelike seriously ur thinking about leaving her? anyways it's not cos ur a man u think is ok 2cheat... just try n' forgive her if u ever loved her....
ReplyDeleteWell, think know the feeling. Several years ago, my girl friend (now my wife) was cheating on me. I found out, confronted her and while it took her a while to admit, she confessed. I married her. Although I forgave her, I let her know the limits and boundaries that I felt I could not tolerate. 10 tears after marriage; I stupidly fell into a relationship with a colleague in the office. She found out. My marriage took terrible turn. She couldn't forgive but stayed in the marriage. Its almost three years since that incident, I think we have learnt to parch our marriage and have moved on. Pains of the incidents still come in flashes... but we have to move on.. because we decided to make it work... because we truly loved one another... and we had allowed the devil to enter and try to destroy our marriage. A few these quotes may help:...
ReplyDeleteLord Chesterfield said..“Little, vicious minds abound with anger and revenge, and are incapable of feeling the pleasure of forgiving their enemies.”
Mahatma Gandhi said “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
And I dare say forgiveness does not change the past.. it rather enlarges the future..
Try it.. you will feel the weight off you..
Cheers, my man...
Sugar Girl said...
ReplyDeleteYou are a moron!
She cheated 11 years ago, you found out, she confessed, she's sorry, she has tried to make it up, am sure she doesn't cheat anymore...
But you cheated too!!!
Divorce her nah, mtsheeww! and go to hell to marry queen of the coast.
Are you a devil? NO!, you should forgive her and bet me she will never do it again.
ReplyDeleteYou did the same thing she too did so you should find out the reason two of you were doing so and guide against it.
I believe there is what you as a man is not doing that made her to be cheating, try and do it right. Make her to understand that marriage is of God and should be kept holy and you should live by examples.
I'm talking out of experience. My dear try because your wife & children need you most now.
Meanwhile where do you think you are running to?? TO an ANGEL HOLY MARY????? Hell NO! may be a WORST woman.
You haven't touched ur wife for nine months, so who do u want to touch her?.... Na u sabi.
ReplyDeleteI think he should seek help in church and if it is still not working then he should leave before he snaps and does something he will regret for the rest of his life.
ReplyDeleteI can imagine how difficult this is for the both of you but you really need to get a hold on yourself. Both of you have defiled your bed and I think you both need to forgive yourselves. You both can start all over again. Pray for forgiveness, Rededicate your marriage to God, and enjoy your marriage. You have starved your wife of sex for so long...... You need to fix it. And you also need to stay true cos I've got the feeling u're seeing another woman. May God touch your heart.
ReplyDeletePls take her back as the woman you married n avoid domestic violence. I pray that God will give you the spirit to love your wife back.
ReplyDeletey are men so self centred, egocentric n hypocritical at the same time cos i've come to realise that cheating men especially find it hard to forgive. you cheat its a normal thing and your woman makes a mistake and is remorseful and faithful enuf to tell you the truth...now ur disgusted...mtsheeew
ReplyDeleteWell this is marriage,you better be careful what you wish for...everyone is cheating these days..so forgive your wife,and forgive your self...start all over....good luck hypocrite
ReplyDeleteIf you had ever cheated on her since you got married, then you owe her the obligation to forgive, since she did the same for you.
ReplyDeleteYou are selfish! Work out things with her or take a break. But walking away won't favour your children, nobody is perfect Mr.
ReplyDeleteDear forgive her, the fact she told u means shez not proud of what she did and requires forgiveness frm both God and u! Marriage like roses have thorns too but the ability to stay put and make it wrk determines the God in u. Plsss just give her another chance leaving will only cause a set back in ur life. Shez a gud wife to have told u! May God open ur eyes and strenghten u.
ReplyDeleteFunny...
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel bro. It happens to me, when i find my girlfriend cheating i BREAK UP sharply even though i cheat. I suggest you so same cuz that way your happiness will be restored. Remember your wife might cheat on you again....
ReplyDeleteTwitter > @lwkmd_naija
I can imagine how difficult this is for the both of you but you really need to get a hold on yourself. Both of you have defiled your bed and I think you both need to forgive yourselves. You both can start all over again. Pray for forgiveness, Rededicate your marriage to God, and enjoy your marriage. You have starved your wife of sex for so long...... You need to fix it. And you also need to stay true cos I've got the feeling u're seeing another woman. May God touch your heart.
ReplyDeleteWhy is every1 insulting him at least he's admitting he has a problem that's y he came out to get advice. Young man it won't b easy to forgive her but its all about prayers. Nothing is impossible, if only we had good counselling group in nigeria. My honest opinion, maybe you need a break to think things true, ur Ego has been bruised. But leaving her isn't d solution. The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know. I pray everything works out for u guys 4d sake of d kids.
ReplyDeleteHow do you think she felt when you cheated? Now you see what women have to go through because men refuse to uphold their marital vows. Who knows if she wanted you to felt the hurt she felt when you cheated on her. There is no denying what she did was WRONG but try to make it work for the sake of your children and for the simple fact that you are not innocent. Please seek counselling (not necessarily from the church) to help you get your marriage back on track.
ReplyDeletei think men are crazy ...do u think its only you dat is capable of emotions its ok wen u cheat but it isnt ok wen she cheats get over ur stupid self nd make ur marriage work
ReplyDeleteI can imagine how difficult this is for the both of you but you really need to get a hold on yourself. Both of you have defiled your bed and I think you both need to forgive yourselves. You both can start all over again. Pray for forgiveness, Rededicate your marriage to God, and enjoy your marriage. You have starved your wife of sex for so long...... You need to fix it. And you also need to stay true cos I've got the feeling u're seeing another woman. May God touch your heart.
ReplyDeleteBrav!!!! Go back to your wife, hold her and show her love... the more you talk to her the more you get attracted to her. Please never attempt hitting her aii? Just show interest and give it time aii.
ReplyDeleteFam!! Fix things, dont break things!
My guy ur a moropy 4 saying u hate ha. Wen u we're cheating, didn't it occur 2u. Idiot fool
ReplyDeleteFunny..
ReplyDeleteU see dis our men sef, u cheated on ur wife and nw u are just feeling d way she felt then so plsssssssss.
ReplyDeleteUseless man..you cheated and she dis the same and you are opening that your dirty mouth to complain..Will you shattap there oniranu..stupid cheat.Is it not you that started the game?You probably don't even satisfy her in bed..
ReplyDeleteAfter shining Congo of different women you have the guts to talk of disgust.May sango shave your skull.
you are lucky she's even repentant.I hope she enjoyed the new man thoroughly now that she's back with your gray hair infested pubes.If you like don''t go and buy karma sutra books to learn how to please your wife,you think she wasn't tired of having sex with one prick for 11 years?add that to all the fake moans and having to deal with your cheating lying ass.
MY friend go and work on your marriage joooo..next time you zip up.I wonder if you thought people would support you?
NONSENSE MAN!
Honest response:
ReplyDeleteHave you asked her why she cheated on you?
Listen first.
Either leave the marriage**biblically allowed*** however, remember you also cheated.
or forgive her and foreget it ever happened. Try(I know its very very hard) to make love to her.
If you do,it wears off after a while.
Hahahaaaa....payback is a be-OUCH! Okponu, leave her pls...then I hope u end up with someone that will castrate u for cheating...selfish thing.
ReplyDeleteIsn't this soo stupid and selfish of you?!! You cheated and she did too,u think she doesn't get the feeling of wanting to stab u too? Or she doesn't have the right to feel the way u do seeing that u cheated too? Get over yourself and if u like don't touch her or do ur duties as her husband,perfect excuse for her to go back to her cheating ways, if u don't want to make it work,den leave, she's not holding a gun to ur head,is she?
ReplyDeleteU re just a stupid n selfish man.Is it only men that can cheat n get away with it. Mtchewwwwwww. You feel like killing her,GO Ahead n see if thunder Won't strike u dead bcos u re so guilty as well. Isiaki like u......
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of my anger! I saw pix of my wife and some guy,till now I still hate to remember. No trust anymore
ReplyDeleteI think men are full of crap. If u can't forgive her then move on. Let me tell u, YOU r d reaason she cheated on u. She wasn't happy either cos u didn't give her attention, or she found out u cheated, or u simply suck in bed. Do her a favour and leave sef. She deserves a better man. Hiss!
ReplyDeleteFor the fact that u uself cheated on her should make u forget the whole thing. ur are being unreasonable. Any way u people should go for counseling
ReplyDelete.
All the females responded with the same bitterness and sarcasm that you can get. Take it easy abeg, the poor guy incurred your wrath by expressing himself.I will not side with him, neither will I crucify him before you but know ye that its a man's world and men try to get away with everything...good or evil!!!
ReplyDeleteTo start with, both of u are yet to surrender ur lifes to Christ Jesus, there is presence of worldliness in ur relationship that's why u cheat at each other, resist d devil and he will flee from u, allow Holy Spirit to take charge of your home,He will bring peace,joy and love.
ReplyDelete****IKB****
Y the abuse people? d dude is only seeking advice and not curses ,do u realise u can simply read d post and not comment or keep ur irritating comments to ur self...no1 is perfect here and its also not right 4 any1 2 cheat in a marriage or relationship but we know d statistics of men cheating....the truth about d matter is all men cheat,its even hard for d cardinal to practice celibacy...my advice if u think its not working out and it leading u to commint murder pls take a break dont pistorious ur partner pls..marriage is not for every1
ReplyDeletei sincerely think you two need to sit and talk about this thoroughly. the two of you should lay down your feelings after all communication is the key to a successful marriage. the more you hold it in, the more you'll hate her and end up doing something you'll regret for the rest of your life. Also, it's not ideal to leave her since there are 4 children involve. do everything u can to keep your family together. i'm sure she'd have felt this way too if she found out abt your cheating ways. think abt this carefully.
ReplyDeleteI remembered d day I caught my husband red handed, it was so difficult for me to forgive my husband, becos I gave him my heart, if not for d invention of my mum, I almost left my home, seeing him disgusted me, dat I had to go for HIV test, it is alwaly difficult to forgive d person dat have cheated,I had to forgive for sake of my children and forget toatlly, but in dis case my bro u cheated also and now u can not forgive her. My bro u know what to do, anytime d image appear on ur mind kindly wave it aside and think of d wonderful things she is doing right now, it will help u a lot. Dat is my advice for u kabshi. Linda pls post my comment
ReplyDeleteI tink u shld take time and revisit d tins dat made u fall in love wit her, dis cld tk a long time but av an open mind while u do dat also put d future of ur kids into consideration and finally, knw dat marriage is for beta or for worse nobody is above mistake u both made d same mistake so don't feel all righteous....put all ur hate aside and try to kiss her wit d tots of wot u once shared....
ReplyDeleteWell I wldnt blame you much though, at least u have the gutts to admit to us that you also cheated on her, but did u tell her also, that u cheated on her? that may be the reason why she disgusts u. Both of u need to come clean to each other, and probably renew ur commitments with each other. i think if u really want to make ur marriage work again, its up to u. Beating her up or maltreating her will only frustrate ur marriage the more, at times like these u need to stroll down mamory lane so u can remember that its for better or worse. Your wife is ur blessing and ur curse! remember that and do the needful. STOP HATING HER COS U GOT SKELETONS TOO BRUH!!!
ReplyDeleteur just selfish
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I think the problem is you not her. Can you please tell me why you are still angry with her because I don't understand why. You better look for that quality that made you fall in love with her in the first place and use it as a point continue loving her now.
ReplyDeleteYou both cheated, and the road to recovery after that is tough. But if you want to stab her in the eye..ummm..u should probably go.
ReplyDeleteOh, so its not so cool being on the other end of the stick. Imagine all the times you were cheating and how she felt? Now you are feeling it just how she felt it. Do to others what you do to yourself. Dont dish what you cant take. Stay home henceforth and work on your future and marriage.
ReplyDeleteMy friend where do you want to go?! When a man cheats people scream forgiveness and say she can get past the hurt and the pain for better or worse. When a man cheats they start to talk about infinite humiliation as if everything is beyond repair. Is she not a human being? You think she was not humiliated too? What you guys need is counselling and prayer and a determination to make it work. Go and start from scratch and fix your marriage. Dump your kids with grandparents or something and take a vacation together. And who do you want to stab in the eye?! Ta! Let me not ask God to strike you there, feeling like Pistorius
ReplyDeleteHypocrite is your name! Seriously though, both of you have done some serious damage to your marriage and by extension, the four children God bestowed upon you. What kind of example is that for your kids to follow? Well, I think this damage can be repaired. You both need to admit and own up to your shortcomings. Typically, most women won't cheat until they have been pushed to the wall, neglected, starved of attention from their husbands. Did you not think that your cheating (even if you didn't tell her, I am sure she must have sensed through your neglect)was in part responsible for her cheating? That maybe somewhere in her warped hurt mind, she thought she would get back at you by cheating too? Neither of your actions is excusable. You need to get counselling asap, that is, if you are still interested in working on your marriage. And why not? I am sure you've committed grievous sins (adultery is one) yet you ask God for forgiveness and He does. Remember : "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". I pray both of you work things out, forgive each other, forgive yourselves and move on especially for the sake of the kids. Don't make them a statistic of broken homes.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you've not been absolutely true to her does not give you the right to crucify her. If you leave her how sure are you that the next woman will not be worse. Consciously work @ forgiving her and put the proccess of forgeting in place. Marriage is meant for two forgivers. If you've lived with her for 9yrs, you should be friend enough to forgive her. What I am advicing is not human. It will take God. So I believe you should go to Him
ReplyDeleteU cheated on her,nw u hate her cos she did same to u.do u think she is a firewood.am sure when u were cheatin on her u were nt having sex wit her.i so believe u pushed her to this. Selfish stupid man.
ReplyDeleteWell you will receive your healing here :) by the time you finish reading the stuff LIBers will say to you, your life will never remain the same. Just go and buy that woman gifts and make love to her.
ReplyDeleteYou are a real beast, animal. When you were enjoying another woman, didn't you know it will come back to you? You chop clean mouth, she too kukuma do am. End of story. All you have to do now is move forward. You both have to go to God in prayer. Feeling disgusted my foot.
ReplyDelete4d 9months dat u ve not touched/slept with ur wife,who hav u bin doing t wit? Used dt as a yardstick 2kn weda 24giv or not! Secondly,is there any wrong doing u ve commited dt God hasn't 4given U? Think abt dat! I kn its quite diff 24giv a mate who has cheated buh dt is only true wen d oda mate is innocent buh since dts not true in ur case , PLS dust t off nd move on. She willl alwz b ur wife. Try an rekindle ur luv 4her wen u do she won't disgust u anymor
ReplyDeleteIf you want to go, that's the door,i don't blame the person who called you a conceited bastard,the painful thing is that this story may be made up,i wish i was talking to a real person let me give him the tongue lashing of his life.You cant forgive because she cheated on you but you cheated on her and she not only forgave you but still stayed in your house and she did not puncture you eyes,you are a big fool.
ReplyDeleteMr oga stay in your house and u must try and be happy ode oshi! Didn't u do d same? So is ok 4 a guy 2 trip and fall on pussy and wen its d womans turn ur disgusted abi? Are u a learner? Men like touching oda people's wife or girlfriend and dey will do anyting 4 someone eles nt 2 touch deir... Mstchew, Karma is a bitch so live wit it..
ReplyDeleteU cheatd she cheatd n she confessd did u confess stop bin selfish infact u dnt hv a story.u must b a wickd being mtcheeeewwww
ReplyDeleteu cheated, she cheated..... deal with it. simple as that. But i think both of you have to talk about it. abeg oooo dont do anything you will regret ooooo.
ReplyDeleteIts a hard decision man, but stay and work it out. Look deep in her eyes and u'll see d reason why u fell in love with her before. Or better still sit with υ̲̣̥r̲̅ wife and talk it out. Trust me it really helps. And for d sake of υ̲̣̥r̲̅ kids, guy put υ̲̣̥r̲̅ shii together and make it work. For d sake of υ̲̣̥r̲̅ kids man. For υ̲̣̥r̲̅ kids, its really worth it.
ReplyDeleteMust u gals insult him huh?mtschewwwww...y shud a married woman cheat?***confused**
ReplyDeleteyou cheated and she did too, deal with it. but i think you guy should talk about it and make ur marriage work.
ReplyDeleteu cheated, she cheated..... deal with it. simple as that. But i think both of you have to talk about it. abeg oooo dont do anything you will regret ooooo.
ReplyDeleteShit Happens. The Devil you Know is better Than the Devil you don't know. Try and love her more and I bet you She will not Cheat again. After all you self fit don Cheat like 100 times before but too you na normal thing. She cheat once you Para. No Be So Broda. Stay with her and get the Memory of your Mind
ReplyDeleteFyi I am a guy amnd I know that gone are the days of our mamas who cried till they had stroke becos of a cheating papa. Today? You cheat, she cheats. So let everyone regardless of gender do the right thing and be faithul. My guy if u chase am she fit go be cougar and u will look like a fool when ya wifey drives around town with a PSquare look like ooooo.
ReplyDeletethis is where women are far better than us... U do her, she took it in and stayed u, now she do u, u wan end d tin.....prolly bcos u feel she belittled ur pesin by sleeping wiv anoda guy(guy shine ya eyes, it is ya yeye ego working here)... U musta loved ur wife for marrying her.. Go back to dah love dah u guys shared, put it in prayer and if u fear(love) God, u wld make ur marriage work.... Shikena
ReplyDeleteWish u all d best broda
Mr. Oga na 2 ge 4 o! When they say you reap what you sow; you think say na only for bible? Abeg, get a hold of yourself and make your marriage work!!!
ReplyDelete