It's tradition, but in the absence of a father, I Don't see anytin wrong with a mother walking her daughter down the aisle. My both parents are dead and after the funeral, "extended family" kinda dint give a damn abt us. When I got married, my elder bro walked me down the aisle. He's just 5yrs older than I am.
I don't see anything wrong with it too, maybe a thorough research can take us back history to tell us why it has to be a man in the first place. But its better to follow tradition oh, maybe thunder or lightening would come down if one abberrates.lol pls click n share http://bit.ly/M1lpQa
bekuz the father is the head and sponsor of the home asin breadwiner is even in the bible...if his not der den the uncle can takeova.......over to haters(omo-iwo)says so..via b.b bold.5
I've always wondered the same thing !!! esp as my dad died a few years back and I dont really like the idea of some Uncle walking we down the aisle. I'm eager to hear ppls opinions
Hmmm linda, for me is just a tradition, moroever daz d owner of d child whoz name d babe bears. Again is a division of labour, father no fit go omugwo even wen d mum is late instead d must see a woman to go on d mothers behalf,so if papa no dee, papa bros must show say na me get d child. Is just a tradition tin, afteral who say father no fit bath babe for omugwo. No b osuofia way llllaaaaaf
It just has to be a man. Reason being that giving away refers to giving your daughter to a different man entirely to take care of for the rest of their lives. In the absence of the father, the man giving away is basically a replacement and is regarded as the father. No strings attached. Your lust for arguments is highly distasteful.
"Lust for arguements"? Must u alwayz say something negative? Who forced u to comment? What planet are u from btw? Jupiter?!!! Get d fack outta earth & go back to where u belong.
Arguments are what makes a blog lively. U must be a very dry and boring fellow. Pls shup ur mouth and allow people with reasonable views to comment. Approco
A man walking his daughter down the aisle shows he has given his consent for the marriage to go on as the highest authority in the family. I believe women aren't allowed to do that when their husbands are absent because she doesn't represent the highest authority in the family(Just my thought)
Who says they don't? Some kolo oyinbos ask their mothers to give them away. Except you mean in the Naija context. The man is the protector and rock. You bear his name and he's giving his daughter away to a new family. The father is transferring ownership of his daughter from him to the groom. Bride price is paid to the father & in the absence of the father, it can be the brother or even an uncle. It's always a male. Age long tradition of a woman being the man's property.
I've attended weddings were both walk her down the aisle... But I believe there should be a bond between a father and his little girl...a protecting and cherishing bond like she is a precious stone... so who would be better to give her over to ANOTHER MAN.
The Man is the head of the home, his absence doesn't mean that his lineage is extinct. Lindo, is that your problem? when the time comes, plead with your Dad and see if your Mum will even agree to take his place. Your Mummy's part is to come for Omugwo and collect all the collectibles while giving you tips on how to collect more!
I desperately wanted my mother to walk me down the aisle because my father had passed away but she totally refused. Said it was a mans job and I wouldn't allow any uncles to walk me down the aisle since none had contributed a penny to my upkeep. We finally settled for my brother. In my opinion women are stepping up to the plate and doing a mans job of taking care of the family they should definitely see it as their right.The privilege belongs to the one who has been responsible for your upkeep and that is most mothers nowadays
Thank you jare, I would rather walk down the aisle by myself than let some Uncle that has no idea how I survived walk me. At best my brother. Men cannot have the priveledge without the responsibility. The men of old took care of their family so they deserved it.
Why can't d girl walk herself down d ailse as she found d guy herself.Linda pls stop being shallow.next u ll ask why can't d children bear d mother's family name after d death of d husband.pls read proverb to see the role of a man en woman in d familu en d community except if u don't believe in d bible. Ur life en ur speech shld inspire others not makn pple wonder abt ur intelligence. If u like don't post my comment na u sabi at least u ll read it
Firstly, is a man's world. Secondly, the lady answers her dad's name not her mum. Thirdly, its the man's duty (can a man do omugwo)... Fourtly, its tradition (ask ur mum, she too was given out by a man).
FYI;The tradition of giving the bride away goes back to a time when a woman had few rights and privileges and her family viewed her as property. The father of the bride would literally give his daughter away to the groom and his family for social and monetary gains.It was a transference of chattel from one owner to the next hence mothers could not give their daughters away since they did not even own themselves, it had nothing to do with a man being the breadwinner or the woman's protector or rock
Says who? White wedding is the whitemans' tradition and I have seen white mothers walk their daughters down the aisle alone if the father is late or with him if he is alive. Our own in Africa is to carry other people's thing and start over doing. My mother raised me alone and she will walk be down the aisle. Anyone that dosen't like it can stand up and leave so the rice can even go round better!
The father hands his daughter over to her husband to be to show a sign of acceptance. He is the head of the family and has been responsible for her that's why when people get married the pastor would ask who is handing over the bride and both parents would answer him. But in the event of the fater being absent in the girls life or has passed on, the mother would walk her down because she took care of her to be the woman she grew up to be. Especially if the inlaws did not contribute in anyway to the upbringing of the child. My father passed on when I was just 8 years old and my mum took care of us without help from my father's people! Asin they did not even call to say hi! I am married now and I thank God for my mum. I just can't Ơ̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ any "uncle" take her place on my special day. I even wish her happy father's day every year coa she ia both to me!#okbye
so what happens to the daughters that the fathers rejected? or the single women who had to bring up their children alone without input from the father or his family? i know there are ideals but you must admit, these days not everything is ideal. Besides, once in our history, it was tradition to kill twins. Tradition is not always best. Yeah, im talking to all of you who have only one mindset and dont want to consider any other point of view but your own.
Abegi, it is a mans world abi? so why are they rejecting pregnancies all over the place and allowing poor girls to raise babies by them selves then after you will say they should look for the man so he can walk down the Isle. please spare me. i married early, been married for over 15 years with teenage sons and no one walked me down the isle and no man was there to greet my inlaws becos my dad ran away. does it mean my marriage is doomed? e for be doomed since na!
It was simply a tradition, because in the old days, women went right from living at home to getting married, and both father and groom were considered protectors of her. So him (the father) handing over his daughter was seen symbolically as the father relinquishing his role and giving it to the groom.
That is not to say that a woman cannot however, do the same, when the father of the bride is unavailable, she is then seen as the 'protector' of the bride, and can hand her over to the groom as well.
The tradition is a man walks the daughter down the aisle. It can be a grandfather; brother; uncle or a good friend of the family. Your mother should be sitting in the first pew to the left waiting for you to come down the aisle with whomever you choose to walk you down that aisle.
However, since y'all be sooo gay these days. Its going to be the nxt thing to fight for
Who is the HEAD of the family? It is the HEAD that gives the bride away to the HEAD of the groom's family.
The significance is that when trouble rears its HEAD, i.e. (as in the Igbo custom if she is found chopped into bits; or as in Yoruba custom if she is found minus her HEAD; or as in the Hausa custom if a dagger is found lodged in her HEAD) it is the family HEAD that she was handed over to for safe keeping that would be responsible.
Tradition! Simple! Even in d western world its usually d father or another male relative or atimes a male friend. Same goes with why do children take their fathers surname? Tradition! Well who knows, things are changing fast!
Anonymous July 3, 2012 11:13 AM, JUST TOOK THE WORD OUT FROM MY MOUTH, SIMPLE:
" A man walking his daughter down the aisle shows he has given his consent for the marriage to go on as the highest authority in the family. I believe women aren't allowed to do that when their husbands are absent because she doesn't represent the highest authority in the family(Just my thought)" Sent from my Swag Blue Nokia 3310
It has been done and I see nothing wrong with it, esp as Linda asked, if the father is absent. People should leave African tradition out of it, because white weddings in and of itself is not an African thing.
My mother walked me down the aisle. I had to put my foot down on that issue. Even if my father were alive, he still would not have the right to walk me down the aisle. Let alone some uncle that I don't know and hasn't even contributed a word of wisdom to my upbringing. It was my wedding, my rules... Only my amazing mother had the right to walk me down the aisle...
Pls guys,its not a tradition, its just a norm which we adopted from d whites. But in a case where d father is absent, d mother is d next best person to do walk u down, also if d both parents are not there, ur elder brother can equally do dat or u walk urself down d aisle like I did 3 yrs ago & am still happyily married with kids. So guys don't just follow d crowd, ask questions or better still do it ur own way as long as its not against d law.
Err people, Linda already said "in the absence of the father". Besides, it's not Biblical plus nowadays, lost of women are the heads of their homes. Yes I said it - sue me :p
my father left since i was 9. Am getting married by august @ 29,been begging my mum to walk me down,but she will hear none of it,so i have decided that my brother will walk me down the aisle(i hope my mom changes her mind though),as none of my father's family has ever been useful to us.
I know most of us don't always like the truth,most of us like to be consoled by all means whether with a sweet word on a negative thing. We don't care about so many things because feel we need to be consoled. The truth is whether we like it or not the fact remains that only a MAN can walk the daughter down for marriage. Most of us are saying it doesn't matter or what the man wasn't there for the family or what western countries do to their own weddings. Some of you said it's an old tradition ,I laughed because the simple truth is maybe you are in that category of people that their mothers walked down. I want you to understand that no matter how much we deviate from the truth it remains the same. If you as the mother walk your daughter it's called the FACT of your act but the TRUTH is when the FATHER walks her down. Our problems is we always don't want to admit our mistakes and wrongs because we feel people will laugh at us,mist people who had no privilege of their fathers walking them down maybe the own saying it doesn't matter,to be honest wouldn't you have appreciated it if your cater was alive or didn't run away to attend your wedding? So because circumstances happened that you didn't have your father doesn't mean you will tell your daughter you will walk her in her own wedding,people should stop painting things the way they want but the way it will be useful. Someone said men impregnate women and abandon them so why would they walk their daughters down,hey let me ask,are we suppose to even engage in premarital SEX? So don't use how men impregnate and run as an excuse to not allow a man do his right. You must have gone contrary to marriage no problems atleast admit you made a mistake not trying to covering it with all kinds of talks. We can never be like the WEST no matter how hard we try,and there are things we cherish here so much that the WEST can't do e.g the WEST can't do traditional wedding,there is nothing like compulsory Omugwor,they don't wear traditional outfits like we do here,they don't drum and dance like us during wedding,they don't care if their kids answer their mothers father's name maiden name etc yes this is because their system is not like ours where every woman wants to experience all that in her marriage. There are things we Africans can't do that they do e.g we don't allow our kids bear a woman's maiden name,we don't agree on Sleeping or having a bf/gf while still married,we don't see relatives as pest around our homes,it's not right for African women to be married and still answer their fathers name,we don't agree on contract marriage,we don't fancy adoption,we don't happily go for insemination ,we don't get married under 72 days divorce and have everyone worship you still or admire you instead you will be mocked bcos it's against our culture,we don't pay men or women to sleep with our spouse bcoss we can't please him/her etc. So please men and women don't think we can be the WEST and stop using their system to console tour failed or wrong acts instead admit it already and be happy you did. marriage
Mumu, haven't you ever seen or heard of a married man leaving his wife and kids and following another woman? Some of those men won't even pay a dime for the upkeep of their children. Some people are simply irresponsible. White wedding is not our tradition so cut that crap and considering that after Kim Kardashian was walked down the aisle by a man the marriage lasted on 72days that shows you this has no impact on the success of marriage.
@anon 7:22 why can't you make ur point without a curse and I am sure you didn't read And understand what Sleek was trying to say Instead you rushed in replying. He used 72 days for Kim to say it's part of their lifestyle not ours so we cherish marriage and all the things that follows. I must confess that Sleek makes a comment without cursing is the best way to drop a point. Every one is entitle to his/her opinion so why call him/her Mumu ?
Jesus of Nazareth ... U again?! What part of the dark ages are u from? Who is giving u all this false information about the " west". "we don't happily go for insemination", "we don't fancy adoption", wow. And what is wrong with adopting a child? I bet u would rather take the child and turn him/her into a maid like most of our people do instead of giving the child the same chances as your own biological child. Gosh u just made me break a sweat from anger! Enlighten yourself and open your mind!
If always ask myself too, if is possible, why not. It doesn't have to be a father. If the mother is a single mother, why is it wrong to walk her daughter down the ailse?
Linda whose tradition?? this is a white man's tradition that we have borrowed...so i can adjust it anytime i feel like it besides in some parts of east africa both parents walk the bride...my friend had her granddad, dad, mum and brother all walk her in stages since they all played a crucial role in her upbringing
Church or white wedding is a whiteman's tradition that we adopted.Yes,we have all come to subconsciously associate the 'walking the bride' down the aisle as a man's role, but the truth is that 'Anybody' can actually do that. There is nowhere that it is written that a Man must walk her daughter down the aisle....even the mother,brother,sister or anybody could assume that role. So, make una chilax for tradition wey you no get controls over.Emancipate your minds folks.
Its tradition that the father walks he's daughter down the aisle because he is the head of the family and represents the family. So when they get to the altar and the priest/pastor asks "who gives this lady away to be married" he responds "her mother and I do". But in the absence of the father, the brother/cousin/uncle (a close male relation) can stand in. However, there is no law that says the mother cannot walk her down the aisle...The point is who takes her to the altar represents the family giving her away...
owusu you just read my mind.. My Father isn't in my life and my mother has been the ROCK of my family for the longest time. Me being the first child why will he walk me down the aisle ? he does not deserve that privilege! its either my mom walks with me, or my junior brother (who is the 3rd born) or I walk alone.. I cant even shout, my wedding, my damn rules
i dont see anything wrong with it . tradition or no tradition if my mum wount walk me down d aisle..ill walk down myself coz i wount allow anybody that has made no impact in my life take all the glory on that day...
Na tradition pure and simple. On my wedding day, both my parents would be by my side. I don't see why I can put my own twist in an oyinbo tradition. In fact, my brother will be behind me sef. All round support!
So many idiotic comments here. My aunt is late. Her husband flew to america for a month to do omugwo. Some people actually bear their mother's family name. Especially when the father has been very irresponsible. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman walking down the aisle alone. Linda is asking an honest question. It is an issue that plagues some brides. Let us remember that this is a western tradition. Not a Nigerian one. The worst that can happen is that people's tongues will wag.
FROM ALL THE COMMENTS ABOVE I REALLY APPRECIATE Y'ALL FOR EDUCATING ME IN YOUR VARIOUS PERSPECTIVES. BUT THE FACT STILL REMAINS ITS ONLY AN AGE-LONG TRADITION CREATED BY MAN AND THEREFORE SUBJECT TO CHANGE AND ADJUSTMENTS IN CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES AND ASLO AS TIME GOES ON I WONT BE SURPRISED IF GIVING AWAY THE BRIDE BY PARENTS FAZES OFF COMPLETELY AND BRIDES WILL GIVE THEMSELVES ON THEIR OWN.
THAT SAID, I ACTUALLY THINK ITS NO BIG DEAL FOR A MOTHER TO GIVE AWAY HER DAUGHTER IN THE ABSENCE OF HER HUSBAND. I MEAN ITS NO FUCKIN' BIG DEAL!!! ITS ALL UNNECESSARY FORMALITY
Linda, mothers do walk their daughters down the aisle. I've been to weddings where this happened...in the US. There is nothing wrong with it. In fact, I think the bride should be free to choose who walks her down the aisle.
ode, all of u dat answered rubbish. she asked in the absence of a father. so save ur 'it must b the father' answers 4 anoda 'question of the day'. mtchew *english*
pls read to understand one's comment before u start replying. a man is the head, d woman d neck meaning, if d man brings his sperm, it flows down the woman to form a baby right??? it takes both man n wife but my point being maybe since its d man's sperm that brings bout wat forms in d woman as a being then.... make una de try understand person before una begin speak grammer de counter.
mothers do walk their daughter down the isle, i have seen this at several weddings, basically anyone can walk u down as long as that is who the bride wants.
linda, abeg make sure u print my comment this time around. if the father is absent, the mother more than anything deserves to walk her daughter down the aisle, i dont believe in a distance uncle or brother doing it, my mother took care of me tru thick n thin.
Plenty Long story... I'd give anything to have my dad walk me down the aisle cos he was an excellent father... In his absence however, woe betide the UNCL|e that tries to upstage my mother and two brodas...they are the ONLY ones fit to rep my father....n they are going to give me away...END OF!
Yadda yadda head of the family. My dad died when I was young and it was my mother -no uncles - who broke her back to raise us. I think it should be up to the bride. For me the walk down the aisle is an emotional one and since my dad is not there she is the one I would like to walk me down the aisle. I get tradition and all that but I don't see what's wrong with it if a woman decides to pick her mother. She more than anyone else will understand why her mother is the one giving her away and it's HER day, not another male family member's day.
@ Sleek, you argument is so damn flawed.You are advocating for Western culture to be dropped by Africans, yet the issue at hand, "white wedding" is a WESTERN culture.Please use your brain before you talk.Anybody is free to do what they want, as long as it is not harmful to the next party.Even if a girl wants her dog to walk her down the aisle, it is nobody's damn business.Please free your mind and stop limiting yourself by bloody societal constructs that were made by weak ass men!!!
A man walking his daughter down the aisle shows he has given his consent for the marriage. I have seen mothers walk their daughter down the aisle when the father is absent especially in cases whereby the mother was a single parent. The bride can pick whom she want, there are cases whereby the bride's father is alive and well but because he may have not contributed significantly to her life, she picks another male in her family whom she feels represented a true father figure in her life. There are cases where a bride walks down the aisle with BOTH parents...it all depends on the woman and her relationship with her parents.
Every society has a culture that binds it in as much as it seems not hing is wrong in a woman walking down the bride to altar. Products of societal failures like single mothers, failed marriages, unwanted preganacies etc. Should not see it an excuse or avenue to make it a norm.
It's tradition, but in the absence of a father, I Don't see anytin wrong with a mother walking her daughter down the aisle. My both parents are dead and after the funeral, "extended family" kinda dint give a damn abt us. When I got married, my elder bro walked me down the aisle. He's just 5yrs older than I am.
ReplyDeleteYour elder brother was the right person to walk you down since your parents are late.
DeleteI don't see anything wrong with it too, maybe a thorough research can take us back history to tell us why it has to be a man in the first place. But its better to follow tradition oh, maybe thunder or lightening would come down if one abberrates.lol
Deletepls click n share http://bit.ly/M1lpQa
bekuz the father is the head and sponsor of the home asin breadwiner is even in the bible...if his not der den the uncle can takeova.......over to haters(omo-iwo)says so..via b.b bold.5
ReplyDeleteWelcome back lipkisser we thot they had stolen your black berry bold 5. =))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º=))
DeleteLoooool lilspice nwam ibatago
DeleteBecause that's just how it is. Don't start another sexism campaign debate here please.
ReplyDeleteHow is this about 'starting another sexism campaign debate'now? Hisses
DeleteI've always wondered the same thing !!! esp as my dad died a few years back and I dont really like the idea of some Uncle walking we down the aisle. I'm eager to hear ppls opinions
ReplyDeleteUju
Hmmm linda, for me is just a tradition, moroever daz d owner of d child whoz name d babe bears. Again is a division of labour, father no fit go omugwo even wen d mum is late instead d must see a woman to go on d mothers behalf,so if papa no dee, papa bros must show say na me get d child. Is just a tradition tin, afteral who say father no fit bath babe for omugwo. No b osuofia way llllaaaaaf
ReplyDeleteLinda that picture up there looks like you sha..
ReplyDeleteThere's absolutely no reason why she can't. Your wedding, your rules.
ReplyDeleteYep!!!
DeleteIt just has to be a man. Reason being that giving away refers to giving your daughter to a different man entirely to take care of for the rest of their lives. In the absence of the father, the man giving away is basically a replacement and is regarded as the father. No strings attached. Your lust for arguments is highly distasteful.
ReplyDelete"Lust for arguements"? Must u alwayz say something negative? Who forced u to comment? What planet are u from btw? Jupiter?!!! Get d fack outta earth & go back to where u belong.
DeleteNawa!pple sef!she jst wanted to get pple's tots abt it.u didn't ve to say sth annoying.mtschewwww
DeleteLinda did say "share your thoughts", you could have done just that. This is not an argument issue no need to get all wired up!
DeleteArguments are what makes a blog lively. U must be a very dry and boring fellow. Pls shup ur mouth and allow people with reasonable views to comment. Approco
DeleteA man walking his daughter down the aisle shows he has given his consent for the marriage to go on as the highest authority in the family. I believe women aren't allowed to do that when their husbands are absent because she doesn't represent the highest authority in the family(Just my thought)
ReplyDeleteIts just a way of showing respect to the father.
ReplyDeleteBtw the pastor ll ask where is the MAN dat gives the bride away
Lol ... Is a mans world
ReplyDeleteYou cracked me up hahahaha
DeleteWho says they don't? Some kolo oyinbos ask their mothers to give them away. Except you mean in the Naija context. The man is the protector and rock. You bear his name and he's giving his daughter away to a new family. The father is transferring ownership of his daughter from him to the groom. Bride price is paid to the father & in the absence of the father, it can be the brother or even an uncle. It's always a male. Age long tradition of a woman being the man's property.
ReplyDeletethey can and they . Who is bringing up Nigerian traditions in this matter? cant remember white weddings being part of our native customs
ReplyDeleteI've attended weddings were both walk her down the aisle... But I believe there should be a bond between a father and his little girl...a protecting and cherishing bond like she is a precious stone... so who would be better to give her over to ANOTHER MAN.
ReplyDeleteThe Man is the head of the home, his absence doesn't mean that his lineage is extinct.
ReplyDeleteLindo, is that your problem? when the time comes, plead with your Dad and see if your Mum will even agree to take his place.
Your Mummy's part is to come for Omugwo and collect all the collectibles while giving you tips on how to collect more!
"...giving u tips on how to collect more" LMAOOOOOOOOO!!!
DeleteI desperately wanted my mother to walk me down the aisle because my father had passed away but she totally refused. Said it was a mans job and I wouldn't allow any uncles to walk me down the aisle since none had contributed a penny to my upkeep. We finally settled for my brother. In my opinion women are stepping up to the plate and doing a mans job of taking care of the family they should definitely see it as their right.The privilege belongs to the one who has been responsible for your upkeep and that is most mothers nowadays
ReplyDeletehttp://godalwaysshowsup.blogspot.de/
#gbam!
DeleteThank you jare, I would rather walk down the aisle by myself than let some Uncle that has no idea how I survived walk me. At best my brother. Men cannot have the priveledge without the responsibility. The men of old took care of their family so they deserved it.
DeleteThank You!!!!!!
DeleteBecos the man is the head of the home and the woman the neck.
ReplyDeleteits d man's sperm that brot about the formation of the child.
abi????
Could the mans sperm produce a child in isolation? Pls ur point is flawed, besides women are breadwinners in several homes these days.
DeleteI'm walking down the aisle unescorted. My dad is cool with it.
ReplyDeleteWhy can't d girl walk herself down d ailse as she found d guy herself.Linda pls stop being shallow.next u ll ask why can't d children bear d mother's family name after d death of d husband.pls read proverb to see the role of a man en woman in d familu en d community except if u don't believe in d bible. Ur life en ur speech shld inspire others not makn pple wonder abt ur intelligence. If u like don't post my comment na u sabi at least u ll read it
ReplyDeleteDere r so many ways to pass a msg wivout being insultive. Olodorabata!!! U lack manners.
DeleteDats taking it too far but then again it's their family life,innit?
DeleteFirstly, is a man's world. Secondly, the lady answers her dad's name not her mum. Thirdly, its the man's duty (can a man do omugwo)... Fourtly, its tradition (ask ur mum, she too was given out by a man).
ReplyDeleteFYI;The tradition of giving the bride away goes back to a time when a woman had few rights and privileges and her family viewed her as property. The father of the bride would literally give his daughter away to the groom and his family for social and monetary gains.It was a transference of chattel from one owner to the next hence mothers could not give their daughters away since they did not even own themselves, it had nothing to do with a man being the breadwinner or the woman's protector or rock
ReplyDeleteYou're on point!
DeleteSays who? White wedding is the whitemans' tradition and I have seen white mothers walk their daughters down the aisle alone if the father is late or with him if he is alive. Our own in Africa is to carry other people's thing and start over doing. My mother raised me alone and she will walk be down the aisle. Anyone that dosen't like it can stand up and leave so the rice can even go round better!
ReplyDelete#gbam!
DeleteHahahaha!!! #OnPoint
DeleteBuhahahahahaha
DeleteLwkmd
Abi o the rice ll go round
The father hands his daughter over to her husband to be to show a sign of acceptance. He is the head of the family and has been responsible for her that's why when people get married the pastor would ask who is handing over the bride and both parents would answer him. But in the event of the fater being absent in the girls life or has passed on, the mother would walk her down because she took care of her to be the woman she grew up to be. Especially if the inlaws did not contribute in anyway to the upbringing of the child. My father passed on when I was just 8 years old and my mum took care of us without help from my father's people! Asin they did not even call to say hi! I am married now and I thank God for my mum. I just can't Ơ̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ any "uncle" take her place on my special day. I even wish her happy father's day every year coa she ia both to me!#okbye
ReplyDeleteU bring tears to my eyes!!! God bless your marriage
DeleteAwwwww!!! So sweet
Deletei though they could... :S
ReplyDeleteso what happens to the daughters that the fathers rejected? or the single women who had to bring up their children alone without input from the father or his family? i know there are ideals but you must admit, these days not everything is ideal. Besides, once in our history, it was tradition to kill twins. Tradition is not always best. Yeah, im talking to all of you who have only one mindset and dont want to consider any other point of view but your own.
ReplyDeletei thought they could... :S
ReplyDeleteAre you the one in that picture?
ReplyDeleteFOOD FOR THOUGHT. Will be reading...I've never thought about this ....
ReplyDeleteDat is hw it is meant to be.
ReplyDeleteAbegi, it is a mans world abi? so why are they rejecting pregnancies all over the place and allowing poor girls to raise babies by them selves then after you will say they should look for the man so he can walk down the Isle. please spare me. i married early, been married for over 15 years with teenage sons and no one walked me down the isle and no man was there to greet my inlaws becos my dad ran away. does it mean my marriage is doomed? e for be doomed since na!
ReplyDeleteThank you jare, it doesn't affect the fate of the marriage at the end of the day!
DeleteIt was simply a tradition, because in the old days, women went right from living at home to getting married, and both father and groom were considered protectors of her. So him (the father) handing over his daughter was seen symbolically as the father relinquishing his role and giving it to the groom.
ReplyDeleteThat is not to say that a woman cannot however, do the same, when the father of the bride is unavailable, she is then seen as the 'protector' of the bride, and can hand her over to the groom as well.
The tradition is a man walks the daughter down the aisle.
ReplyDeleteIt can be a grandfather; brother; uncle or a good friend of the family.
Your mother should be sitting in the first pew to the left waiting for you to come down the aisle with whomever you choose to walk you down that aisle.
However, since y'all be sooo gay these days. Its going to be the nxt thing to fight for
Who is the HEAD of the family? It is the HEAD that gives the bride away to the HEAD of the groom's family.
ReplyDeleteThe significance is that when trouble rears its HEAD, i.e. (as in the Igbo custom if she is found chopped into bits; or as in Yoruba custom if she is found minus her HEAD; or as in the Hausa custom if a dagger is found lodged in her HEAD) it is the family HEAD that she was handed over to for safe keeping that would be responsible.
Funny how HEAD crops up in this piece!
Tradition! Simple! Even in d western world its usually d father or another male relative or atimes a male friend. Same goes with why do children take their fathers surname? Tradition! Well who knows, things are changing fast!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous July 3, 2012 11:13 AM, JUST TOOK THE WORD OUT FROM MY MOUTH, SIMPLE:
ReplyDelete" A man walking his daughter down the aisle shows he has given his consent for the marriage to go on as the highest authority in the family. I believe women aren't allowed to do that when their husbands are absent because she doesn't represent the highest authority in the family(Just my thought)"
Sent from my Swag Blue Nokia 3310
It depends on the family, some mothers do and i have seen it.And there are Naija wedding where both parents even walk the daughter down!
ReplyDeleteabeg let the sleeping dog lie. No be everything una wen be women go question.
ReplyDeletemake una leave men alone for this world.
na everything woman go do because of liberation?
It has been done and I see nothing wrong with it, esp as Linda asked, if the father is absent. People should leave African tradition out of it, because white weddings in and of itself is not an African thing.
ReplyDeleteMy mother walked me down the aisle. I had to put my foot down on that issue. Even if my father were alive, he still would not have the right to walk me down the aisle. Let alone some uncle that I don't know and hasn't even contributed a word of wisdom to my upbringing.
ReplyDeleteIt was my wedding, my rules... Only my amazing mother had the right to walk me down the aisle...
Its a man's world. So its always d man's duty. Even if d father is dead there must b another man available
ReplyDeletePls guys,its not a tradition, its just a norm which we adopted from d whites. But in a case where d father is absent, d mother is d next best person to do walk u down, also if d both parents are not there, ur elder brother can equally do dat or u walk urself down d aisle like I did 3 yrs ago & am still happyily married with kids. So guys don't just follow d crowd, ask questions or better still do it ur own way as long as its not against d law.
ReplyDeleteErr people, Linda already said "in the absence of the father". Besides, it's not Biblical plus nowadays, lost of women are the heads of their homes. Yes I said it - sue me :p
ReplyDeleteAnd Lilspicer, I don miss your comments :D
ReplyDeletemy father left since i was 9. Am getting married by august @ 29,been begging my mum to walk me down,but she will hear none of it,so i have decided that my brother will walk me down the aisle(i hope my mom changes her mind though),as none of my father's family has ever been useful to us.
ReplyDeleteMothers do walk their daughter down the aisle.
ReplyDeletena wa oooooooooo God go jugde u ooooooooooooooo
ReplyDeleteFeminist much..u just barking up the wrong tree..babes dey look 4 hubby..u dey yarn about who dey walk who down the line..what about brothers..Uncle..
ReplyDeleteITS OUR CALTURE (GHANIAN ACCENT) LOL
ReplyDeleteIT'S OUR CALTURE (GHANIAN ACCENT) LOL NO VEX
ReplyDeleteI know most of us don't always like the truth,most of us like to be consoled by all means whether with a sweet word on a negative thing. We don't care about so many things because feel we need to be consoled. The truth is whether we like it or not the fact remains that only a MAN can walk the daughter down for marriage. Most of us are saying it doesn't matter or what the man wasn't there for the family or what western countries do to their own weddings. Some of you said it's an old tradition ,I laughed because the simple truth is maybe you are in that category of people that their mothers walked down.
ReplyDeleteI want you to understand that no matter how much we deviate from the truth it remains the same. If you as the mother walk your daughter it's called the FACT of your act but the TRUTH is when the FATHER walks her down. Our problems is we always don't want to admit our mistakes and wrongs because we feel people will laugh at us,mist people who had no privilege of their fathers walking them down maybe the own saying it doesn't matter,to be honest wouldn't you have appreciated it if your cater was alive or didn't run away to attend your wedding? So because circumstances happened that you didn't have your father doesn't mean you will tell your daughter you will walk her in her own wedding,people should stop painting things the way they want but the way it will be useful. Someone said men impregnate women and abandon them so why would they walk their daughters down,hey let me ask,are we suppose to even engage in premarital SEX? So don't use how men impregnate and run as an excuse to not allow a man do his right. You must have gone contrary to marriage no problems atleast admit you made a mistake not trying to covering it with all kinds of talks. We can never be like the WEST no matter how hard we try,and there are things we cherish here so much that the WEST can't do e.g the WEST can't do traditional wedding,there is nothing like compulsory Omugwor,they don't wear traditional outfits like we do here,they don't drum and dance like us during wedding,they don't care if their kids answer their mothers father's name maiden name etc yes this is because their system is not like ours where every woman wants to experience all that in her marriage. There are things we Africans can't do that they do e.g we don't allow our kids bear a woman's maiden name,we don't agree on Sleeping or having a bf/gf while still married,we don't see relatives as pest around our homes,it's not right for African women to be married and still answer their fathers name,we don't agree on contract marriage,we don't fancy adoption,we don't happily go for insemination ,we don't get married under 72 days divorce and have everyone worship you still or admire you instead you will be mocked bcos it's against our culture,we don't pay men or women to sleep with our spouse bcoss we can't please him/her etc. So please men and women don't think we can be the WEST and stop using their system to console tour failed or wrong acts instead admit it already and be happy you did.
marriage
Mumu, haven't you ever seen or heard of a married man leaving his wife and kids and following another woman? Some of those men won't even pay a dime for the upkeep of their children. Some people are simply irresponsible. White wedding is not our tradition so cut that crap and considering that after Kim Kardashian was walked down the aisle by a man the marriage lasted on 72days that shows you this has no impact on the success of marriage.
Delete@anon 7:22 why can't you make ur point without a curse and I am sure you didn't read And understand what Sleek was trying to say Instead you rushed in replying. He used 72 days for Kim to say it's part of their lifestyle not ours so we cherish marriage and all the things that follows. I must confess that Sleek makes a comment without cursing is the best way to drop a point. Every one is entitle to his/her opinion so why call him/her Mumu ?
DeleteI feel alot of people are not matured enough to handle argument without fight and cursing,sleek spoke his mind why don't u do urs and move on
DeleteSleek you don come again?why sleek matter dey always give una head ache?everyone to his own Jor make una leave am
DeleteJesus of Nazareth ... U again?! What part of the dark ages are u from? Who is giving u all this false information about the " west". "we don't happily go for insemination", "we don't fancy adoption", wow. And what is wrong with adopting a child? I bet u would rather take the child and turn him/her into a maid like most of our people do instead of giving the child the same chances as your own biological child. Gosh u just made me break a sweat from anger! Enlighten yourself and open your mind!
DeleteThey do....maybe not in 9ja but they do especially where the father has died or no longer in the pix.
ReplyDeleteIf always ask myself too, if is possible, why not. It doesn't have to be a father. If the mother is a single mother, why is it wrong to walk her daughter down the ailse?
ReplyDeleteWould you like your mother to walk you down the isle? I don't think so. But it would be a novelty all the same. Please post the pictures when you do.
ReplyDelete@lilspicer this is oldie-days thinking. I know is written in the bible, but thinks have changed, why not this. Is it a shame if it happens?
ReplyDeleteItz alwayz bin dt way,so it rlly shld b left dt way..Buh,ur wedding;ur rules
ReplyDeletethey do i have seen it loads of time and in the absence of both parents a brother or closest male relative does it....
ReplyDeleteLinda whose tradition?? this is a white man's tradition that we have borrowed...so i can adjust it anytime i feel like it besides in some parts of east africa both parents walk the bride...my friend had her granddad, dad, mum and brother all walk her in stages since they all played a crucial role in her upbringing
ReplyDeleteChurch or white wedding is a whiteman's tradition that we adopted.Yes,we have all come to subconsciously associate the 'walking the bride' down the aisle as a man's role, but the truth is that 'Anybody' can actually do that. There is nowhere that it is written that a Man must walk her daughter down the aisle....even the mother,brother,sister or anybody could assume that role.
ReplyDeleteSo, make una chilax for tradition wey you no get controls over.Emancipate your minds folks.
Yeah she can
ReplyDelete.
ReplyDeleteCan see u also shared ur thot(s)....Issorai!
DeleteIts tradition that the father walks he's daughter down the aisle because he is the head of the family and represents the family. So when they get to the altar and the priest/pastor asks "who gives this lady away to be married" he responds "her mother and I do". But in the absence of the father, the brother/cousin/uncle (a close male relation) can stand in. However, there is no law that says the mother cannot walk her down the aisle...The point is who takes her to the altar represents the family giving her away...
ReplyDeleteowusu you just read my mind.. My Father isn't in my life and my mother has been the ROCK of my family for the longest time. Me being the first child why will he walk me down the aisle ? he does not deserve that privilege! its either my mom walks with me, or my junior brother (who is the 3rd born) or I walk alone.. I cant even shout, my wedding, my damn rules
ReplyDeleteLinda why can't men go for omugwo when their daughters give birth??? Ekelu olu eke my friend.
ReplyDeletei dont see anything wrong with it . tradition or no tradition if my mum wount walk me down d aisle..ill walk down myself coz i wount allow anybody that has made no impact in my life take all the glory on that day...
ReplyDeleteNa tradition pure and simple. On my wedding day, both my parents would be by my side. I don't see why I can put my own twist in an oyinbo tradition. In fact, my brother will be behind me sef. All round support!
ReplyDeleteIn some cases women do. it is the choice of the family.
ReplyDeleteSo many idiotic comments here.
ReplyDeleteMy aunt is late. Her husband flew to america for a month to do omugwo.
Some people actually bear their mother's family name. Especially when the father has been very irresponsible.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman walking down the aisle alone.
Linda is asking an honest question. It is an issue that plagues some brides. Let us remember that this is a western tradition. Not a Nigerian one. The worst that can happen is that people's tongues will wag.
And please, lets stop answering questions with 'cos thats how its meant to be'. thats the most ignorant answer ever
ReplyDeleteFROM ALL THE COMMENTS ABOVE I REALLY APPRECIATE Y'ALL FOR EDUCATING ME IN YOUR VARIOUS PERSPECTIVES. BUT THE FACT STILL REMAINS ITS ONLY AN AGE-LONG TRADITION CREATED BY MAN AND THEREFORE SUBJECT TO CHANGE AND ADJUSTMENTS IN CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES AND ASLO AS TIME GOES ON I WONT BE SURPRISED IF GIVING AWAY THE BRIDE BY PARENTS FAZES OFF COMPLETELY AND BRIDES WILL GIVE THEMSELVES ON THEIR OWN.
ReplyDeleteTHAT SAID, I ACTUALLY THINK ITS NO BIG DEAL FOR A MOTHER TO GIVE AWAY HER DAUGHTER IN THE ABSENCE OF HER HUSBAND. I MEAN ITS NO FUCKIN' BIG DEAL!!! ITS ALL UNNECESSARY FORMALITY
***next please***
@willadebo
When you born you pikin walk am.
ReplyDeletehope say no be naija man you marry sha.
Another indication of who really runs the world. MEN
ReplyDeleteLinda, mothers do walk their daughters down the aisle. I've been to weddings where this happened...in the US. There is nothing wrong with it. In fact, I think the bride should be free to choose who walks her down the aisle.
ReplyDeleteode, all of u dat answered rubbish. she asked in the absence of a father. so save ur 'it must b the father' answers 4 anoda 'question of the day'. mtchew *english*
ReplyDeletepls read to understand one's comment before u start replying.
ReplyDeletea man is the head, d woman d neck meaning, if d man brings his sperm, it flows down the woman to form a baby right???
it takes both man n wife but my point being maybe since its d man's sperm that brings bout wat forms in d woman as a being then....
make una de try understand person before una begin speak grammer de counter.
mothers do walk their daughter down the isle, i have seen this at several weddings, basically anyone can walk u down as long as that is who the bride wants.
ReplyDeletelinda, abeg make sure u print my comment this time around. if the father is absent, the mother more than anything deserves to walk her daughter down the aisle, i dont believe in a distance uncle or brother doing it, my mother took care of me tru thick n thin.
ReplyDeletePlenty Long story... I'd give anything to have my dad walk me down the aisle cos he was an excellent father... In his absence however, woe betide the UNCL|e that tries to upstage my mother and two brodas...they are the ONLY ones fit to rep my father....n they are going to give me away...END OF!
ReplyDeleteciao!
ReplyDeleteYadda yadda head of the family. My dad died when I was young and it was my mother -no uncles - who broke her back to raise us. I think it should be up to the bride. For me the walk down the aisle is an emotional one and since my dad is not there she is the one I would like to walk me down the aisle. I get tradition and all that but I don't see what's wrong with it if a woman decides to pick her mother. She more than anyone else will understand why her mother is the one giving her away and it's HER day, not another male family member's day.
ReplyDelete@ Sleek, you argument is so damn flawed.You are advocating for Western culture to be dropped by Africans, yet the issue at hand, "white wedding" is a WESTERN culture.Please use your brain before you talk.Anybody is free to do what they want, as long as it is not harmful to the next party.Even if a girl wants her dog to walk her down the aisle, it is nobody's damn business.Please free your mind and stop limiting yourself by bloody societal constructs that were made by weak ass men!!!
ReplyDeleteThank God am not a woman.
ReplyDeleteIf she will get married to a lady, the mother can, but if it is a man, a fatherly figure must.Dont even ask me why
ReplyDeleteA man walking his daughter down the aisle shows he has given his consent for the marriage. I have seen mothers walk their daughter down the aisle when the father is absent especially in cases whereby the mother was a single parent. The bride can pick whom she want, there are cases whereby the bride's father is alive and well but because he may have not contributed significantly to her life, she picks another male in her family whom she feels represented a true father figure in her life. There are cases where a bride walks down the aisle with BOTH parents...it all depends on the woman and her relationship with her parents.
ReplyDeleteThey could Linda.. My younger brother's wife was walked down the aisle by her mother because her dad has passed away and this happened in April 2012!
ReplyDeleteEvery society has a culture that binds it in as much as it seems not hing is wrong in a woman walking down the bride to altar. Products of societal failures like single mothers, failed marriages, unwanted preganacies etc. Should not see it an excuse or avenue to make it a norm.
ReplyDelete