I have been married for 5 years and I have a four year old son. The problem is my husband has not kissed me or made love to me in over 4 years. I have tried everything but he just wont do it. I cry myself to sleep most nights after he rejects me. Apart from this, everything else is fine and our friends and family have no idea what's going on.
Please continue...I need advice. A. what can the reason be ? because I honestly don't think he is cheating on me. B. what can I do about the situation cos I'm feeling like my youth is wasting away. I will soon be 30. I married him at 25 and I'm like is it when I'm 45 he will be ready to get freaky. All my friends now have 2 or 3 kids but I still have 1.
I'm just so confused i haven't cheated on him (I have thought of it) but I just cant. I have prayed, I have fasted, I have cried, I have begged, I have asked him so many times forget the sex, just give me a reason, just tell me why you wont or tell me why you cant. He still has erections when I touch him so he's not impotent so I really cant explain it at all. I'm writing you now after another rejection, tears rolling down my face as I type. Its just heart breaking. I hope you and your readers can help me before I go crazy or do something horrible.
Sweety ur husband gay... He married to keep people off his case
ReplyDeleteI swear, I was just thinking that!
DeleteThere r 3 tins,its either he is gay,or has joined an occultic organization or he has been jazzed by d girl dat he dumped to marry u.if he's gay 4get abt him but if na jazz/cult, deres notin prayer can't do,know sm1 it happened to,spiritually d man always tot his wife smelt like poo even wen d woman showered 5times a day,she didn't knw it was a devil in womans clothing dat was causin dis wahala,till she went into prayers n d man came bck to his senses.bottom line continue with d prayer there's nothing God can't do. Goodluck
DeleteThe shouldnt stop him from sleeping with his wife nau, if he can sleep with her before the worst he can be is bisexual..
DeleteNo! I think his got AID and luvs you to much to pass it across, ask for a test, if he comes out negative, then his gay.
DeleteExactly!
DeleteMy dear the thong is the solution to all ur wahala...shake ur bakasi in a way dat he won't 4get...
DeleteHe'z a gay until proven otherwize
DeleteUr hubby ħ㪠HIV he doesnt want to pass on the virus to U̶̲̥̅̊ nd he is scared to let U̶̲̥̅̊ kno Dåŧž wats up
DeleteHe is DL aka Gay
ReplyDeleteWowwwww,now dis is bad. She needs 2 talk 2 someone elderly in her family or his .
ReplyDeleteWow!just wow!sth is definitely wrong somewhere since u re quite sure that he is not cheating on u.well,ds is the tym to talk to som1 dt u both can relate to personally.like ur family doctor.he really nids to open up n say wat his problem is,even if its sth dt has to do with u.God's grace....TONI
ReplyDeletethis ia a rada strange case, i tink he's obviously hiding something, see ur family doctor if u have one, he may have a deadly disease n doesnt want to infect u.
ReplyDeleteSame tot
DeleteHi I think the both of you should talk about it, or go see a counsellor....there is obviously something worrying your husband, you guys need to sort it out quick..whether he is cheating or not... this is not normal ...there is definitely something......goodluck dear..i feel ur pain...
ReplyDeleteForget that kind thing madam. He is cheating!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSo sad, He probably no longer find you attractive and he is cheating. you cant convince me that he has not had sex in 5 yrs. Another theory is that he could be a gay. Yes, Gay!!!. Try and investigate.
ReplyDeleteDear madam
ReplyDeleteWhat came to My as I was reading is 1 question which is was with u wen u had ur son cos some men get traumatized seeing their wives loose that large quantity of blood or all the pain, and the won't want her to. Go thru such again and will abstain from sex with her, but get satisfaction outside the home. I have living witnessed
plsss go back to schl.
DeletePrimary school to be specific.
DeleteOde..send him bak 2 skool na.
DeleteLwtmb!!!!
DeleteThis is very true.....most men suffer this..a case like this was on oprah..don't listen to those who say he's gay mam...please seek the face of God,talk to a family member and maybe your pastor...God is in control..its well...
DeleteWhat is the go back to schl in what she said? It happens, I have a friend who's wife had a terrible labour and she almost lost her life having their 1st child. He refused to touch her for more than a year out of fear. It took loads of counselling from family, church and professional psychologists. Today dey have 3kids.
DeleteBuhahhahahahahah...Lmao @ living witnessed!!! Choi!!!!!!!
DeleteOMG,dis is craazy.
ReplyDeleteHe is sooooooo GAY!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI would advice you talk to his pastor if he has one, my pastor recently just gave a testimony of a woman who allowed her husband to sleep with her once in 7 years and even that once he had to kind of rape her but he prayed for them and its now history. usually when women give their husband too many problems dey could be pushed to the wall and take some extreme behaivours,especially nagging. if you could give , if you could txt ur names to ds numba i cld tell my pastor to join hs faith wt urs.08105187771
ReplyDeleteKeep on praying.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to believe your husband is not cheating though. Do some research, there might be someone else. However, you need to deal with the situation head on! Talk to him, give him an ultimatum, talk to your family members and his' too. If this situation is important to you and he's not doing anything about it, he is not performing his duties as a husband. Finally, well done for not cheating. That's God's grace right there.
ReplyDelete4yrs!! dats jst crazy its definitely gonna be sumtin spiritual i guess, dats if u're sure he's not cheating. btw u av 2 get 2 d bottom cos dis is rili weird.
ReplyDeletextremly weird!
DeleteHez definately cheating on u sweeri. Move on. May be therez somethin better for you out there. Stop crying coz this man isnt worth your tears
ReplyDeleteSuch a hypocritical narrative post...u both haven't cheated after 4yrs?? Celibacy made in heaven
ReplyDeleteYou are just a big fool.....you think everyone is as sex starved as you are......anu ofia
DeleteSee dis animal in human form...u really dnt av to post a comment u knw..if u gat nofin to say,SHUT UR CRAP!
DeleteInfact biggest fool u r!
DeleteYou are an insensitive and awful fool Kamzy.
DeleteHmmmnnn... If his mum is stl alive, talk 2 his mum.
ReplyDeleteSounds every inch 'spiritual'... The man has made a pact with wut he thinks is a higher force... How much detail bout his past do u know?... Is he a staunch Christian?... Does he have a good enough cash-flow?... The solution to your problems lie somewhere behind the answer to these Qs... Sorry for ur P though... Quite sad :( ... Don't mean to sound vulgar but do not cheat on ur husband, try n b making do with s*x kits - Vibrators etc... PUSH (Pray Until Sth Happens)... Also inquire a lil more to find ansas to d Qs... Cheers
ReplyDeleteLinda, dat total wickedness. Am even speechless dunno Шђаt̶̲̥̅̊ to say, but ȋ̝̊̅ƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇ she sure dat she has not offended him?, i tink dat d nxt step she sud try to take or discover.
ReplyDelete9jadeltapikin... For me I feel the woman should search herself well if there Ȋ̊§ anythng she Ȋ̊§ hiding from her hubby α̲̅πϑ the guy knowns α̲̅πϑ he Ȋ̊§ expecting her Τ̅☺ tell him which she Ȋ̊§ not doing cos I Ђåvε̲ a case ℓi̶̲̥̅ke̶̲̥̅ dis α̲̅πϑ that was »W̶̲̥̅̊н̣̣̣̝̇̇̇@̤̥̣̈̊̇†̥̣̣̣̇̇̇ the man claimed that the wife cheated on him α̲̅πϑ he heard Ȋ̝̊†̥ from a reliable source α̲̅πϑ he was expecting her Τ̅☺ confess which she did not do α̲̅πϑ she use that has a form of purnishment not Τ̅☺ sleep with her but in ds case if U̶̲̥̅̊ say U̶̲̥̅̊ do not Ђåvε̲ any skeleton in U̶̲̥̅̊я cupboard call the eleders in U̶̲̥̅̊я family α̲̅πϑ explain things Τ̅☺ them probably he can come open up Τ̅☺ them α̲̅πϑ this whole thing will βε̲̣̣̣̥ solved. †̥ånKz you
ReplyDeleteHis arse is so GAY!! Confide in a close family member and get to the bottom of the problem. As a married couple, he is obligated to have sex with you, he need to fulfil his marital obligations. If not, you have to find a lasting solution. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteMy Dear you dont have to do anything Terrible/Stupid.May be he has something bordering him,but for this long or is now a Gay? He dont know how to say it to you and his Family members,from ur Story every other things are Ok,so why love making? If you give main chance he will do it every Day na me dey run from am.God please take controle.
ReplyDeleteWow! Happened to my friend. Her husband didn't touch her for 2 years plus. She cried until her husband was forced to tell her he's HIV positive. Then she started talking God the man loved her enough not to transmit it to her. They are divorced now and the girl is with their two children. Sad story
ReplyDeleteU said he still has an erection when u touch him so I dnt think he's gay. Maybe he found out he has HIV or something and doesn't want to give it to u out of love or so....u should both get tested.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you!!!!
DeleteBy the way Madam,
ReplyDeleteI hope say you no dey dirty?
Bcos no matter how much I love a woman, I will never have sex with you if you look so dirty and unclean.
for those of you saying the hobby could be a gay, I disagree with you. I am DL and fuck the hell out of my wife!!! Gbam!!! Say what you like but that who i am . I didnt create myself.
What is a DL pls?
DeleteAnd I pray you rot in hell for that! Gbam
DeleteNa wa o! Pls pls n pls try nt 2 infect ur wife wit any foreign disease! Gudlawd! Ow dare u! May God xpose u soon! Ur wife will is @ home thinkn she has a husband! U r wicked n evil!
DeleteWhat's DL abeg?
DeleteWat is DL....plssss someone answer!!
DeleteDL is downlow...
DeleteDL is "Dick Lover".
DeleteHaaa this is serious but since he has an erection there is hope but babe in trying to find a solution pls do check urself both physically and otherwise if its an illness on his side you may be infected too then also check within you if you dont have a bad past that he has probably just discovered in all keep hope alive and make sure you remain faithful to ur marriage vows then u can try mastubation and sex toy too.lol
ReplyDeleteMaybe her pussy stinks, let her look @ herself well
ReplyDeleteGoat. I know how someone like you likes to eat smelling pussy.
DeleteFor purification. But I think e should share Ds wt his wife
DeleteTo be sincere,its possible her hubby isn't gay...maybe he has an STI or STD,and he feels really sorry for his wife that he dosnt even want to touch her.Sweetheart,u really need to talk to an elderly person in the family.It happend to my cousin,turns out her hubby had syphillis.
ReplyDeleteWalatalahi,he's GAY
ReplyDeleteomg it is possible he could be on the down low and married just to keep his secret very big possibility....have you tried seeing a sex therapist first alone and then try and convince him to go with you if all else fails involve the parents the truth will surely come out then tell your mom first who in turn talks to his mom so they can see where the problem is but the DL is a big possibility coz men who cheat on their wives still make love to them like crazy to avoid suspicion
ReplyDeleteWat is DL plsss?
DeleteDL is downlow
DeleteIf you are really sure that he is not cheating on you try and discussed the issue with him. Find out what is wrong. in other way maybe there is something He love most in a woman and u are not longer exhibiting that in bed while having sex.Try to sort out that with him first and dress more sexy. But above all try to find out from him. I pray God will help you out.
ReplyDeleteONOME says.......
ReplyDeleteSome of the comments here are so sad:(Not a time to mock the woman in question.
You both need to see a psychologist or sex therapist ASAP.Note I said a duly recognised and well trained specialist in the field not a pastor or a man of God.They can keep praying for you but you need to see one specifically trained in this department.
I agree with what some said:he may be gay or suddenly decide he wants to be gay or is cheating or has contracted some illness or .........Go see a specialist.This I have no knowledge about.
Am glad u took correction. Ur comments are shorter nowadays. Keep it up!
DeleteThe possibility that the guy might be HIV positive is very very high, being gay does not mean you can not have sex with a woman it's just that u prefer the same sex so pls go on ur knee n beg him to tell u the reason n promise u will not use what he tell u against him. Good luck
ReplyDeletewow,dts very bad.someone close 2 me is in a similar situation and shes being smart about it.my dear,d dude hz someone else, str8 up,no beatin abt d bush.nw d question remains do u wnt to remain in a miserable marriage or not.some men dnt see their wives as bein attractive once they hv a child,cos her body has changed which is wickedness 2 me.which womans body dsnt change after child birth.my pal hz bn pleadin wt her hubby to touch ,he kips denyin her sex wt excuses like am tired,tl 1 day they were arguing abt t he dropped a bombshell,is ds hw u looked b4,wrk on ur weight. my pal is by no means fat.shes average sized,wt sm call plumpy.shes a very pretty lady 2.at ds point she emotionally checked out and has made up her mind 2 walk away cos accordin 2 her theres no point being wt someone who dsnt see u as attractive.she hz also seen txts btwn and a particular lady so he hes obviously cheating. nw d stupid man is askin 4 a 2nd baby.u hvnt touched ur spouse since,bt u nw remember her cos u want a baby?thats ridiculous.so my pal is bein smart abt t.she put in a birth control secretly 2 protect herself while she rounds up her school.once shes done,shes out.everyone deserves 2 b happy,life is 2 short 2 b miserable for no reason.ladies we hv 2 b smart in ds marriage thing,no man should make u feel worthless or have a low self esteem.the choice is urs my dear,only u can change ur situation,no one else would.u deserve better,u deserve someone who would love u regard less of anything.u are too young to be passing thru ds kinda nonsense. i wish u luck in whatever u wnt to do.cheers its well.
ReplyDeleteTell your friend to chill out and grow up.
DeleteLeaving the marriage isn't the solution and you're not helping her cos you're in support.
What a friend!
I think he's so mean, 4yrs is a long time to come out with whatever d issue is, plus he watch cry yourself to bed most night.
ReplyDeletePlease pray to God, am sure he ll direct you, you need to be happy, pray for happiness. This is one sad sick marriage
Why wait this long,just tell his mum and dad.i know his reasons 4 not touching u will come out
ReplyDeleteMy dear,am a counsellor n we av seen such cases..Sit n tink very well wat u av done rong to ur hubby...pls my dear tink very very well cos it rily imprtnt...he mite nt be necessarily gay..dey mite be sumtin u did dat is hurting him n he wldnt want to say it to u..so my dear,do giv it a thot..den go to God in prayers..he will sure work wonders..God be wif u dearie
ReplyDeleteWatever she did wrong that he has kept from her for 4 yrs?? Dats too much and sounds far fetched. I strongly think the man must have a serious disease that he dsnt want to infect her with. Afterall gay pple still have sex with their wives or did he turn gay after the birth of his first kid??
DeleteSorry that my comment is going to nveer off a little drastic. I think maybe the husband has AIDS and doesn't want to sleep with the wife so she doesn't get infected. Try and get him tested to confirm his HIV status.
ReplyDeleteThe answer can't be far from these opeions: 1)He's gay b) He's cheating on you c) He's in a cult and has made a pact with his manhood and lastly, 4) He has a transferrable disease. Meet someone in his family or better still call for a family gathering of very, very close immediate family members and talk it out. If you decide to keep quiet and talk to LIB readers na you sabi cos there's so much they can do for you. Family will go far in getting him to talk. If not, you can die in silence or forever hold your peace
ReplyDeleteIn the institution of marriage, there are no professors.
ReplyDeleteWhat works for one marriage, ruins another...yet u cannot do things the same way and expect different results.
3 things...conversation,communion, courage.
Conversation is that which nutures every relationship (even between man and God)
Have open conversations about every aspect of your lives, some men suffer from effects of low esteem, sexual abuse or fear of failure during the early years of marriage. Its not usually talked about cos most marriage counselors seek to lay blame rather than emphatize.
Have communion with your man by seeking to understand the changes he is going thru and making him see that you are on his side. Most marital differences end up putting the man on the defensive and making everyone his enemy. Be gentle with your man and bring him out of his shell. *yes, we have shells*
Courage..ever heard of symphatetic reaction? The courage of one to make the other follow. This is your man, be innovative,creative and desirable..give him massages,suggest blowjobs, don't be regiment, be slutty with him, be seductive, unleash ur inner vixen.
Or take the easy road of having sex outside like lots of pple are doing now and open yourself to cruel and unexpected variables which always ends up in shocking pain after the fleeting pleasure...
Work your marriage to work...
Lovely of you.....best comment here.
DeleteBut let her find out what the problem is tho....before unleashing her inner vixen.
Maybe he is HIV positive and doesn't want to infect you out of love
ReplyDeletemaybe he has HIV or a deadly STI.. He might be doing yu some good by not touching yu,just pray n yu guys shud arrange for a sex therapist..this is rather strange.
ReplyDeleteYOUR HUBBY IS SO GAY OR HE HAS AIDS OR SOME SORT OF DISEASE. TRUST ME MEN CAN'T DO WITHOUT SEX FOR A MONTH NOT TO TALK OF 4 YEARS.
ReplyDeleteI will send you Vibrators
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaha! Please I need some too. Thick, long and curved ones. Winks. Check ur email for my post code. Hehehehe
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteA lot of gays do have girl friends and wives, they still have sex with them afterwards. If you realy examine yourself and find out nothing is wrong with you, and you have not done something terrible to this man? My sister, the answer, and solution definately is prayer. The secrect of answered prayer is to pray. God answers prayers.
ReplyDeleteWow........ I guess there sometin his Is nt tellin u.be prayerful
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, tell him 2morrow being Monday,both of u will go see a Doctor to carry out an HIV test.If he declines then u know wah it is.
ReplyDelete@ anon 10.57
ReplyDeletei just threw up in my mouth
you sound intelligent enough. being DL is your choice
hope you are strapping up when with your male side kicks
and pls dont you think your wife deserves to know you are 2 faced???????
thats just the ultimate betrayal
#goesonkneesprayingandhopingmymanpreferspussymorethanrod#
Lmao @rod
DeleteHe's Got HIV..i am so sure..i mean even if a man is cheating on his wife,jeez he wud still come home nd touch her sometyms...except He hates u nd never loved u or he's Gay OR He's HIV positive...btw common mehn Rape ur husband...isnt dat allowed..drug him gurl..
ReplyDeleteOk, I have thought very had before I commented. This dude is definately not gay! I say so coz even if he was, he would at least make love to his wife once in those 4yreas, so that she can stut up and stop wining! Well, there's a 90% chance he's HIV positive and loves her too much to give it to her plus he can't even explain why he would want to make love to her with protection. He gose my advice: despirate situations, call for despirate methods. I say drug the nucca! Give him diazapam! When he's knocked out, call a phlebotomist (one that u trust or 1 that lives very farr of from where u stay- pay him some real good momey) let the guy withdraw some blood for HIV screening! Voila! Uld have ur answers right there! . PS: if he's indeed positive, I can't advice u what to do. Plus I don't know which is even better, him telling u his HIV status, or him keeping it awa fron u for ur own good! Chai..... God is ur strength darling------ Chibuki
ReplyDeleteU cannot speak english to save ur family ! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah who gave u access to the internet ???????? Nna go and sell spare parts !! Hapu iha !
DeletePls go for HIV test with your husband.
ReplyDeleteMadam, Try make him jealous...Play the nonchalant wife for once..Give him a reason to think you are having affair..you can even have ur friend send you SMS and make him see...Bet me he will come to his senses....except he is GAY.
ReplyDeleteHoney hez getting it,I mean all of it from some other place!
ReplyDeleteEven if ur hubby was cheating on u, shldnt stop him from having sex wit u at least once in a while so I don't think that's d issue. Its either he is gay (and probably married u to hide d fact) or he's found out he's got an STD and dsnt want to pass it on to you. U need to talk to him and let him know he can trust u. That u r strong. That whateva it is, u both can find a way to sort it out. If he still dsnt talk( and probably refuses to go to a councellor) talk to sum1 in his family who he is close to and who can help u find out what d problem is. If u r having a good relationship wit his mom, u should talk to her too. I wldnt advise u to cheat on him. I know u r fustrated right now, but you've had patience for 4yrs now so have a little more and find out what is wrong then u can decide what ur cause of action would be
ReplyDeleteCHI
4 years is a really long time. You should really try to have a heart to heart discussion.
ReplyDeleteBut if you're bothered because you only have 1 child, it's just not cool. Having multiple kids isn't necessary. He doesn't have to be gay btw. Maybe inner demons?
Three options...maybe he's HIV positive,a gay or d wife is a dirty woman!..gbam
ReplyDeleteIt def can't be about her hygiene. Coz even the most educated men still fuck their dirty stinking smelly housegirls. The men just tell the house g's to shower b4 sex. Simple! So why can't a man tell his own wife to shower and wash her vagina clean, if that's really the problem! We're talking about 4 years not 4 months. U sef check am na
DeleteYes he might have a disease he does not want to spread to you. Or maybe he is doing some vodoo LOL and they asked him not to sleep with his wife
ReplyDeleteHello there
ReplyDeleteIf you are very sure he isn't cheating on you, then there are only three options
1) He's infected with something he doesn't want to transfer to you.(dont be scared, it may be curable, it is not necessarily HIV)
2) He's hurt by something you did or are doing to him and he probably doesn't want to discuss it with you.
3)Are you taking care of yourself enough? Do you look neat enough?
Your husband can not be gay my dear, if he is still sexually aroused when you touch him. He is definitely not gay.
You need to see a family psychologist as soon as possible. Dont be scared have faith and pray as well. Also talk to a close family relative that you can rely on; preferably his mom or your mom. Dont drown in misery theres hope, your child needs to see you both happy together.
BETTER STILL MY DEAR: Always look your best, look attractive and sexy, wear the best hairstyle, the sexiest perfume, the tightest clothes,make him feel like you DO NOT need his sex. wear your sexiest lingerie to bed, make sure he sees you putting it on, INDIRECTLY SEDUCE HIM to the fullest and see if he does not come begging for it.
I TOLD YOU SO.
He's GAY!..
ReplyDeleteit really hurts but i agree dat hes either gay or has a disease, dont think hes cheating,even men dat cheat still sleep wiv their wives but sweetheart 4 yrs is such a long time, he is blessed n doesnt know cos for moi, a week without any good reason, im checking... Find out more,bring it to d ears of elders,his ppl, let ppl know whats going on cos ur silence wont solve d matter.. All d best and a big hug from me :-)
ReplyDeleteIt is just a pit, are u sure it is not spiritual, cos what is going on this days one can never tell, pls u have to be prayerful and still hold on to God. Cos I know someone that sure thing has happened to.it laster discovered that it was a spiritual issue caused by her hubby as a result of having extramarital affairs.
ReplyDeleteIts either u are not attractive or he's got a communicable disease and he he is tryna protect u from gettn it. simple
ReplyDeletePz madam dönt u eva giv ya phone number out onlyn, just talk 2 God in prayer, he has d immortal solution 2 every mortal problem. Street.
ReplyDeleteThis is really sad but i think he has a disease n he doesnt wnt to tell u, it shows a loving husband he is cos he cud have infected u n u wont know how u came about it, its unfair he didnt tell u but hes only human n he knows once u r in d know u either leave him or start running from him n posibility oda party get to know.. Talk to him, he needs u right now... Cheating husbands still sleep wiv their wives n wont evn wait 4 yrs to kick her out n if hes gay, dont forget they have a child, he can afford to still do once in 4months not atall in 4 yrs... N his thingy still stands at her touch... Like d oda lady said about her friend, d guy doesnt touch her but wants her now dat he wants a baby,u see.... Dats a cheating husband,they can even do when not in love... Your hubby mite be HIV +
ReplyDeleteThis is really sad but i think he has a disease n he doesnt wnt to tell u, it shows a loving husband he is cos he cud have infected u n u wont know how u came about it, its unfair he didnt tell u but hes only human n he knows once u r in d know u either leave him or start running from him n posibility oda party get to know.. Talk to him, he needs u right now... Cheating husbands still sleep wiv their wives n wont evn wait 4 yrs to kick her out n if hes gay, dont forget they have a child, he can afford to still do once in 4months not atall in 4 yrs... N his thingy still stands at her touch... Like d oda lady said about her friend, d guy doesnt touch her but wants her now dat he wants a baby,u see.... Dats a cheating husband,they can even do when not in love... Your hubby mite be HIV +
ReplyDeletemay be he has HIV and dont know how to tell you
ReplyDeleteCheck out Jane Wilcox tips on how to put the spark back into your relationship
ReplyDeletehttp://babzeazi.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/put-spark-back-into-your-relationship.html
Its quite unfortunate but seriously,something is not right and as a married woman, i will tell you not to involve anyone yet but are your hands clean(have u cheated on him b4, are u a nag, do u respect him, are u attractive, clean and sexy)? Get a private detective to monitor him if hes gay or hes seeing another woman u'll know. Also discuss with ur family doctor and pretend to being seriously ill and needs blood transfusion. That way, they'll take his blood sample and he'll be screened. If all these fail, involve ONLY those pple he loves and respects that might make him speak up. REMAIN FAITHFUL PLSSSSSS.Everybody with his/her own cross so be careful how you manage this which will pass sooner than expected. It might not even be what we are insinuating. Its well my love!shade_mabel@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteCud it b dt he is HIv positive nd he dosnt want to admit?4yrs is jus too long narr haba!pl dear u nid Jesus more dan ever.
ReplyDeleteSo many of you just post senseless comments. Sometimes silence is golden, than make a fool of yourself. Imagine anon@11:18 saying it is impossible to stay without sex for a month. The person that posted that comment must be a slut. Some people live their whole entire life without sex. The human mind is bigger than sex.
ReplyDeleteYour case is a bizzar one. I really do not have anything to say; however, if you say he has erections, then you have access to it.
ONOME, thank you o! for the short comments. We were really getting bored of you.
Uhm excuse me ???? Who do u think u are ????? U have libido issues then!! So don't call him/her a slut !! Who told u people live their whole lives without sex??????? Revrend fathers?? Pahahahah d ones who molest alterboys !! Or is it revrend sisters ??? Pahahahah d ones who are forced to sleep with d priests!! Or u haven't heard ?? And so what if onome wants to write 50 paragraphs ????????????? Anumanu di ka gi ! Mkpi ahusa !!
DeleteUhm excuse me ???? Who do u think u are ????? U have libido issues then!! So don't call him/her a slut !! Who told u people live their whole lives without sex??????? Revrend fathers?? Pahahahah d ones who molest alterboys !! Or is it revrend sisters ??? Pahahahah d ones who are forced to sleep with d priests!! Or u haven't heard ?? And so what if onome wants to write 50 paragraphs ????????????? Anumanu di ka gi ! Mkpi ahusa !!
Delete@anon 11:25am you r jus a big phoool.pls shut up if u don't hv any reasonable thing to say.d poor woman needs help nd u here tolkin crap.wil vibrator produce anoda child 4her.abeg wisen up
ReplyDeleteThe man is not happy with you. You have wronged him secretly or openly without apologizing. Period.
ReplyDeleteReally? You think it is alright for him to deny her sex for 4 years for that right? Why not just ask her for a divorce because that is obviously not love.
DeleteForget the gay theory, I will give it to you straight as it is, 3 things: 1- He has an STD he doesn't want to transmit to you. 2- It is diabolical and part of the conditions is not sleeping with his wife over a Certain period of time. 3- (most unlikely though but not impossible) He can't bear the sight and thought of what he put you through during the birth of your first child. This is just it!
ReplyDeleteMy dear u r in my mind o hw did u no?she had beta pray harder to God to open dat secret to her bt hmmmm! Dat demon in gays,is a strong demon only God can save a man from it o.
ReplyDeleteMy dear u r in my mind o hw did u no?she had beta pray harder to God to open dat secret to her bt hmmmm! Dat demon in gays,is a strong demon only God can save a man from it o.
ReplyDeleteThe man may be HIV-P or may even be at early stage of AIDS, but that is not why he is not having sex with his wife.
ReplyDeleteAll of you who are writing that the man have HIV/AIDS, should just think.
If the man has HIV/AIDS, he could still have sex with his wife by using condom. Everyone should know that.
How will he explain to his wife he wants to have sex with condom, especially when the lady is looking to get pregnant? Use ur head!
DeleteMaybe he don enter one kain cult wey forbid him from having sex with his wife.
ReplyDeleteOrr He his HIV positive
Orr He is gay.
It has to be one of these.
Man some people are daft. What kind of grudge can someone be holding for four years without divulging??? If he's holding a grudge for that long, run. Seriously. I think the poster should give him an ultimatum! You cannot keep going on like this, it's an unhealthy relationship! If a man is keeping something from you for four years, who knows what it could be!! Get tested, try to force him for counseling, confide in someone he holds in high esteem. DO SOMETHING drastic instead of wearing out your knees.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the comment above suggesting you work to make your marriage work. If you are still in love with him and you must be, seek help for sure and do it now. The truth is you are young and you deserve to be happy. Marriage is really hard and you must try your best possible. Let God in and pray for strength of course. Please confide in your mum too if you can! Do not however settle as I did my sister. My marriage is loveless and clearly a sham even though to the outside world, it is good. I choose to stay for now as I'm scared for my little 5 year old girl. I'm 42 and my husband clearly has no interest in marriage, children or being responsible. At 52, his passions are exchanging pictures with women half his age on the internet, clubbing and being utterly irresponsible. His favourite pass time is dreaming about making it big by the time he hits 60. My story is pathetic, sad, heartbreaking and funny in equal measure as I married for keeps and thought I knew enough about men when I married at 36. Truth is a lot of marriages are crap, but people choose to settle because children are involved. There are of course many loving ones as well and my prayer for you is that yours is repairable, unlike mine as I simply can't be bothered at this stage in my life. Please do not stray. I've never strayed from my own marriage either. What keeps me going is my precious daughter. I also truly believe in karma and what goes around comes around. I have very supportive and kind to my husband and know God will surely judge and come through for me. Some of the comments here are rather sad. People asking you to be slutty and to open up as if it is your fault. I have no clue what makes them authorities on marriage. Equally worrying is that most of these people are probably women. The same women in their twenties sbd thirties who visit chat rooms and hook up with my husband online. I've seen pictures of at least a dozen of these whores as well as the ones my fool of a baby daddy sends too. It's clear that my husband is not young and yet, they choose to meet him knowing he must be married. I've put on weight since I married and my sex drive is low, but does that justify my husband's actions or even yours? Men who have no desire to sleep with their wives like yours and certainly those who are selfish, money grabbing, greedy and fuck anything that moves like mine really should not get married. I've written too much because perhaps like you my heart is broken. l will therefore end on a final note. Whatever happens, know that God loves you and you deserve true joy and happiness. You will find someone else and so will your husband, but your son only has the two of you. Stay strong and keep your chin up my beloved sister. It is well and joy will come eventually, but please please do not settle like I clearly did.
ReplyDeleteOMG! I really feel for you. To be trapped in a loveless marriage is an absolute worst. So sad indeed.
DeleteNa wa º°˚ . Different stroke ƒσя different folks. Na here ¶ D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ wey M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣̥ wife D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ say she wan take advice from LIB readers say ¶ wan use sex kill her even after 13years of marriage. The only time ¶ take a break I̶̲̥̅̊s̶̲̥̅̊ when she's seeing her monthly flow. ¶ don even promise her say na fucking till everyday even when we both don D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ use walking stick. Na him one man D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ here never fuck him wife ƒσя four years. U̶̲̥̅̊ sure say no be torchlight the guy D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ put ƒσя him trouser anytime una D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ bed? Just τ̅☺ convince you say he has an erection? Madam, check well º°˚.
ReplyDeleteAnon 1.34 U ARE THE ONE THAT IS A SLUT AND I KNOW U ARE A WOMAN. HOW MANY MEN DO YOU KNOW THAT CAN LEAVE WITHOUT SEX? FOR 4 YEARS AGAIN EVEN PRIESTS DEY MOLEST SMALL BOYS. SO NA UR COMMENT MKE SENSE. HISSSSSSSSS
ReplyDelete1) try talk to him about it. He could have good reason for that eg STDs etc
ReplyDelete2) If he has no good reason, then you could tell someone he respects more like your pastor.
3) Remember approach him passionately not with anger.
4) if situation still persists then tell your in-laws and ur parents.
Wish you the best. i pray for u.
Enigma....you make a lot of sense sha. There is no one size fit all in marriages. Nothing beats being with a spouse who is on the same page as you with the same zeal to work things out
ReplyDelete4 years??? This is crazy!!! WTF are you still doing with him??? Life is too short to be MARRIED and NOT have a sexual relationship with your HUSBAND!!!! You better move on or maybe you like the celibacy within a marriage! If it was me, 1 year max. then I'm on to the next one! Don't even try me!
ReplyDeleteMARRIED WOMEN PLEASE BE CAREFUL AND PRAYERFUL.
ReplyDeleteDID I JUST READ A COMMENT ABOUT A HUSBAND ON THE DL n STILL BANGING THE SH*T OUTTA HIS WIFE?
Oh my goodness! Does ur wife know ur queer, a faggot? Why deceive a woman so? Where is the fear of God in ur life. God can change u, if u surrender to Him and ask him to remove the urge off u. There's absolutely noth impossible with God.
Many gay pple have been miraculously healed. It's possible!
you should ignore him and get a boyfriend that would keep ur body and soul together thats my no if interested.08036703672
ReplyDeleteHmm na wah! Dick buisness na serious buisness.
Deletehe's a DICK
ReplyDeleteWhat is ur husbands financial status,before n now.mayb he has sold his ...,2 d devil and he was askd nt 2 make luv 2 any woman or he wil die.Its spiritual,just try n c ur pastor.GUDLUCK
ReplyDeletei think you should keep praying and talk to someone...also make him understand how you feel and let him know you are going to talk to a mutual party...COMMUNICATION is very important tell him how you feel and what he will drive you into. I'm sorry to hear this love and it is well. :)
ReplyDeletei think you should keep praying and talk to someone...also make him understand how you feel and let him know you are going to talk to a mutual party...COMMUNICATION is very important tell him how you feel and what he will drive you into. I'm sorry to hear this love and it is well. :)
ReplyDeleteCan we swap husbands pssssss? I cringe each time mine touches me.
ReplyDelete4yrs widowt sex??? Tot dey say lak of sex has medical implications??
ReplyDeleteUr husband is hydin sumfin, trust me.. U jus got 2 tk it upon ursef 2fynd owt wot es hydin.. N ask ursef if u can liv wid it?or walk away? Ur choice..
ReplyDeleteIt could be something as simple as watching the baby come out turned him off sex. I know a lot of couples that had this problem and the guy eventually opens up to say he cant imagine making his wife go thru childbirth again. We sometimes underestimate how traumatic the process can be for men
ReplyDeleteTHIS DUDE HAS USED HIS MANHOOD FOR MONEY RITUALS..AND KNOWS THAT IF HE SLEEPS WITH HER HE WILL EITHER DIE OR SHE WILL DIE, OR SOMETHING CATASTROPHIC WILL HAPPEN...
ReplyDeleteJust be careful before you start going to 'religious leader's.
ReplyDeleteAdvice, sit him down and do the yoruba woman 'today na today' talk. He needs to tell you wat is wrong cos like some ppl said, he might hav a deadly disease so forcing sex might not be so smart as opposed to forcing conversation.
Try to get it out of him and let him know u'll be out if it goes on like this. Get out now while u can still re-marry cos in naija, after one kid and over 30, ur chances of finding a non 50yr old irresponsible grandpa is slim!!!
Good luck hun.. just try to get a conversation and propose to involve family if he doesnt cos ure done after it.
My dear married is not about sex once he care about you and love you....people people i fear you if he alway ask for sex you say is a sex starved,so is problem now not to have sex take notice. my ex call me gay because i did not make love to her six months in our relationship some time you did not want it. the last time i had sex with my wife was one and half year ago and we are happy married and i love her very much. lam did not have any medical problem nor that iam a gay or into cult it just not on my mind.they are many good thing you can use your brain and energy for in this world not sex as is a food.
ReplyDeletesorry poster, but your man is doing other men, not women, or he is fighting with his sexuality. My friend went through that, and all along her hubby was on the down low.
ReplyDeleteThey've said it all.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is either:
1) Gay
2) HIV Positive
3) Having an affair with another woman
Of course I could be wrong. but one thing is certain: your situation is very abnormal. Something is definitely wrong somewhere.
Your husband is very selfish and inconsiderate to deny you of sex with no explanation. No matter what the problem is, no matter how grave it is, he must tell you what it is. That's why you are his wife.
I can assure you that no man would be as forgiving and as patient as you've been if they were in your shoes.
You deserve a man who will love, respect, honour you and fulfil your sexual and emotional needs.
Get a trusted family member involved. This is too serious to keep to yourself. In the meantime, start contemplating divorce. Threaten him with it - yes, this is grounds for a divorce; both in the church (assuming you're a Christian) and in the court. In the meantime, hire a very good divorce lawyer. Trust me, he'd have done this a loooong time ago if the tables were turned.
Good luck my dear. And stay strong.
Hmmmmmmm. Wait oooo! I can't help buh leave a comment on dis issue. We 'Nigerian women' are just as pathetic and a sorry case as our country Nigeria. Dis is why we r still were we are. My dear Nigerian wife, from wat I get, u av bin married to ur husband for 5 years and God has blessed you with a 4yr old son. Out of this five yrs marriage ur husband has ceased to sleep wit you or rather av sexual intercourse wit u for 4years rite. I'm baffled o.
ReplyDeleteThere could b a million reasons for this I agree. But lets turn the tables around. Do u think any right thinking
Nigerian man who is the BREAD WINNER of his home will take this from his wife for 4mths talk more of 4years?
Yes you should be prayerful cos this is a strange thing buh God in his infinite mercy who ordained marriage for
us DIDNOT intend for us to pass through this selfish and permit me to say WICKED ways of man. Heaven
they say helps those who help themselves.
How can a fellow human being u married for lov whom u both willingly consummated ur married and have a
son to show for it now lack all form of love towards u ( bcos dats the way I see it ) and see u cry ur self to sleep at night and also beg him repeatedly all these 4 yrs to tell u wat the problem is and still nothing. Haba!
This is so unfair.
Let's say u convince urself that u r just sticking it all for ur son and becos u still love him, my dear I hope dis love will pay u back in kind. I'm sure ur son will not want to grow up having an insecure mother who is a 'push around' and has no self worth or confidence in her self. U r doing a lot of damage to ur self as well as ur dear child.
Let's believe that he also has not had sexual intercourse for 4 yrs too. So why r u guys still married? What is the punishment all about? It's just so unfair.
ReplyDeleteEven if u go with the theory that he has a deadly disease which he is protecting u from, then in my opinion, he is very SELFISH and will end up destroying u. How long will u go on without extra marital affairs? This is 4yrs now and ur still counting.
My dear for the sake of God, urself and ur son, give this a serious thot n make decisions quick for the more u
put up wit this is the more he will take u for granted in other issues pertaining to u both because he will know that there is nothing u will do about it.
First, PRAY(yes)again n dont bother telling any of his family yet. Then kindly talk to him one more time and if as usual he still doesn't say anything, my dear leave o.
When his parent call u, tell them wat u have bin going through. If it's meant to be, things will reveal themselves from there if not, God knows best. Plssssss u don't deserve this be course we r not talking of 4weeks or 4months here o. For ur sake n ur son please dnt continue to manage and patch through. May God see u through..
Plssssssssssss get a BOYFRIEND!!!
ReplyDeleteStop begging him for sex let him know you have a boy friend!!
Better still leave the gay idiot and find yourself a straight man...
Is either he's 1) HIv positive nd he's want 2 tell u cos of discrminatn 2) he's gay 3) he's an occult 4) he getting it outside cos I don't think any man can stay for 4yrs wtout havin sex.
ReplyDeleteHe's gay hun... you better take a walk
ReplyDeleteto those asking DL means on the "down low" basically he is gay and hiding it most of these men are usually bisexual and have wives/girlfriends and even children but still sleep with other men on the down low
ReplyDeleteThere is a serious reason behind this. This isn't child's play. If he hasn't slept with you in 4 years, it's unlikely he's gonna ever sleep with you 'normally' again. Your marriage is most likely ruined.
ReplyDeleteMy advice, as a doctor, would be to get yourself screened for HIV. Repeat the screening in another facility to guard against "false negatives". If you test negative twice, thank your God and move on with your life.
Further, your youth is fast draining from you. Get a man/boyfriend. Your hubby has most certainly lost his rights to the exclusivity of access to your body. Protect yourself though, use a condom always. This also applies to your hubby, should there be a miraculous reversal of his behaviour. (And, please holy people, do not crucify me. I am only being practical here. Thanks.)
My Dear I quite empathize with you and I really pray for you from my heart that God will intervene. Just a quick one:
ReplyDelete1. We are quick to blame the men for something they are doing wrong but have you looked within you to see whether there is something you are doing wrong? A lot of women neglect their bodies after child birth and I hope you don’t fall into this group. Also you may need to take extra care of your honey pot!! May be the last time he went there it was not pleasing to him so my dear you need to clear that side too so that you are vindicated on all sides.
2. We cannot rule out the fact that he may be gay so that means you need divine intervention. Talk to your pastor and really pray and fast if that is the case for God to change him.
3. He could also be seeing another girl outside so you also need to pray that God should just come to your rescue and save your marriage.
4. Another thing you need to find out is if he has any diseases or internal ailment! Talk to your Dr about this.
5. Above all you also need God, embrace Him and He will save you and restore the joy of your marriage.
Down Low (DL) is a lifestyle predominately practiced by young, urban African American men who have sex with other men and women, yet do not identify as gay or bisexual.
ReplyDeleteHe is seeing someone else or having ED
ReplyDeleteeither he is gay or he got commitment with a secret cult
ReplyDelete1. The nigga's Gay AF 2. Leave his ass. 3. If you're still HOT.. I'd remind you what it feels like to have good sex.
ReplyDeletePraying someone will rot in hell only confirms that you are going to hell 2.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he's got HIV and he doesn't want to infect u with it nd at the same time he doesnt wanna loose u
ReplyDeleteThis is interesting. He's definitely hiding something and he's not telling you the truth.
ReplyDeleteHowever, Nigerian people meed to stop over spiritualize everything or is it mystify everything. So many things that can be going on here that your pastor will not solve. Take action.
He might not be sexually/physically attracted to you anymore. Did you gain a lot of weight? If yes, try to lose it and keep it sexy for him. Keep your vagina clean, and neat. Still look beautiful and do some romantic things. Men are very visual, do something that will stimulate him.
Maybe, he's also going through some things, so find ways to talk to him without coming off as nagging. Maybe, he's cheating and getting something he's not getting from his wife from another woman but talk to him first before accusing him of being gay or a cheater.
Women, just because you are quiet, or think you are a good wife doesn't mean you are satisfying your husband emotionally, mentally and physically. It looks like it's just sex, but there's something deeper going on with him.
@ Concerned Nigerian Wife, if I was a man I would simply marry you and love you for eternity. You make too much sense. I really pity some women and all they go through all in the name of "love". At the age of 25 and a woman is going through this? God forbid. It is not our portion.
ReplyDeleteMy dear poster, its obvious your husband does not give a damn about you. Your husband hasn't touched you for 4 years?...That's just ridiculous.
one word gay
ReplyDeleteokay! i serz fnk ur husband is in a cult nd d price he has 2 pay is to abstain 4rm sexual intercourse wiv his wife my dear pack ur bags dust ur slippers put it under ur armpit and RUN 4 UR DEAR LIFE b4 dey tell him to donate U.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all check yourself(if your puna doesn't smell),discuss with him,seek advice from your parents,then pray, but niga might be gay, he might be busting another man's ass behind ur back or he might have hiv as the other people here suggested.But 4 years damn,u must really be starved.
ReplyDeleteDL means "down low" its a slang used by homosexuals to hide their gay life style.
ReplyDeletePossible that the guys caught an STD (i.e. HIV/AIDS) and doesnt want you to get it
ReplyDelete@ anon 7:35pm. tnks my dear.we alwyz attribute everythin 2 bein spiritual.honestly,aint nothin spiritual in ds case IMHO.d dude is simply nt attracted 2 her anymore.many women r passin thru ds kinda problem which i see as wickedness on their husbands part.once their wives have kids,sex life is zero.women we need to love ourselves the more,they bald n have potbellies,we still love them regardless,when we put on a few pounds,they turn their back on us.its really sad. hw long will she continue like ds.sex is one of the dividends of,at least u r nt committing adultery or fornication,when a spouse denies his or her body,its a sin!!!those sayin hes hidin smthin,wetin him dey hide 4 4yrs,dt even mks him a dangerous dude 4 holdin a secret like dt.if u dnt enjoy him nw,wen wl u,,is it wen u r old?my dear,think and know wts best 4 u.u cnt continue like ds,dt rship is very toxic n unhealthy.u need 2 b happy so u cn b a good mother to ur child.believe it or nt kids cn sense when a parent is nt happy n iit cn affect them psychologically 2.u deserve to b happy.jst try out all avenues 1st b4 u decide whether u wnt 2 leave or stay.
ReplyDeleteMy dear your husband is a HOMOSEXUAL. The only reason he married you is for his mother to have a grandchild and stay off his neck and for people not to suspect his sexuality.if you recall the last time u guys had coinonia,he made sure ur were in ur unsafe days so that you will take in,once you took in,his mission was accomplished.its quite unfortunate but the good news is that u don't have to stay there,get a good divorce lawyer and leaved the man to his doomed future.
ReplyDeletemy dear your husband might be infected wit Hiv n dont want to give it to u, so try n see a councellor
ReplyDeleteHaba! STI or STD for 4yrs? Haba think am now e no make sense at all.
ReplyDeleteHaba! STI or STD for 4yrs? Haba think am now e no make sense at all.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, your hubby is getting something somewhere else. instead of whallowing in self pity and tears, go get yourself some. No harm. No point flogging a dead horse, it cant be resurected......kapish..
ReplyDeleteHe is gay..and he probly got married to you to appear straight..or out of pressure from society.. Look into his eyes and ask him if he is gay, Watch his reaction
ReplyDeletejust shared dis story wif my hubby, wanting to hear a man's view on dis, my hubby said D guy is Gay, 4yrs he truly is gay same thing i tot.
ReplyDeletei am 95% sure he is Gay. The last time i heard a similar story like this one, turns out the guy is gay and today they are separated.
ReplyDeleteYou can't have done anything to him not to forgive in 4yrs. Its much more than that. Put an investigator on him and my dear am certain you will find he is unfortunately, gay. All the best as you pray and take a decision.
There's something u r nt saying
ReplyDeleteAda and Curious might be right, I was going to say the same thing. Confront and ask him for a blood test.
ReplyDeleteJust talk to him that whatever it is, he should tell you, at least it can't go on forever.
In the mean time, get yourself a vibrator and fantasize about your husband.
Good Luck.
In this case, their is high probability that he has STI and he didn't want to transfer it to you cos no rational hubby can be holding grudges ƒor 4yrs.He might be cheating as well but that doesn't make him wanting to taste you ƒor that long. He will touch you even if sampling from the field likewise gay too.
ReplyDeleteSo persuade him so that each other can go ƒor test. Don't like taking affairs outside. So talk to him frantically but if need be, you can now invite your in-laws or close relations into the matter.
Sportfeva.blogspot.com
my sister had exactly thesame experience. her husband had not had any sexual contact with her after the birth of their child who is almost six years. we finally discovered he has full blown AIDS only after he fell very ill to the point of death. nobody could have found out if he had not fallen sick. you need to see a doctor for tests and talk to your husband.
ReplyDeleteyour husband might be HIV positive. same thing happened to my sister and we found out when the man fell ill to the point of death. pls see your doctor and fingers crossed. my sister was very lucky, it was a miracle.
ReplyDeleteMy dear dont take your situation to heart.Most times this situation is a Blessing in Disguise.
ReplyDeleteI have a sister who the husband gave her STD and she can no longer have kids.
there is another lady who has been exactly in ur situation for 8yrs now.(Still waiting for the God given analysis of their situation looks like its coming out Pshychological/spritual problem wit d man)
Advise is that you continue praying(there is nothing like pray harder as suggested by some ppl here)
Live your life while God sorts it out for u.(life is too short)
1.Do that business u have always wanted to do
2.Go back 2 school for that masters/PHD
3.Spend more time in ur childs life.
4.Look Very HOTTT!!!
5.Go out wit ur girlfriends
6. Remove your mind from your situation(After all sex is not everything) Be busy and i assure u wit time things will be clearer
No matter what the reason for your husband's refusal to have sex with you is, please never you ever involve third parties into your marital affairs except you are ready to call off the marriage in the event of any unfortunate discovery. It's possible your hubby could be GAY, has an STI, May have become a CULTIST or had been BEWITCHED by a LOVER. In all this, please be guided in your decision making.
ReplyDeleteWell i will advise you let the elders in the family know and if you both go to church or mosque as the case maybe let the elders of the church be involved. But be of good cheer and dont push yourself coz its not your fault.
ReplyDeleteIts either one of these: 1. Its a spiritual thing, either cult, covenant, spell etc. 2. The hiv/disease issue. 3. Fiction wch was placed by author to generate buzz. But DEFINATELY not gay or cheatin. Cheatin or gay men will still hav sex dt they do not enjoy just to cover up. No normal married man can stay away frm sex dt long. I vote for option 1.
ReplyDeleteIn the institution of marriage, there are no professors.
ReplyDeleteWhat works for one marriage, ruins another...yet u
cannot do things the same way and expect different
results.
3 things...conversation,communion, courage.
Conversation is that which nutures every relationship
(even between man and God)
Have open conversations about every aspect of your
lives, some men suffer from effects of low esteem,
sexual abuse or fear of failure during the early years of
marriage. Its not usually talked about cos most marriage
counselors seek to lay blame rather than emphatize.
Have communion with your man by seeking to understand
the changes he is going thru and making him see that you
are on his side. Most marital differences end up putting
the man on the defensive and making everyone his
enemy. Be gentle with your man and bring him out of his
shell. *yes, we have shells*
Courage..ever heard of symphatetic reaction? The
courage of one to make the other follow. This is your
man, be innovative,creative and desirable..give him
massages,suggest blowjobs, don't be regiment, be slutty
with him, be seductive, unleash ur inner vixen.
Or take the easy road of having sex outside like lots of
pple are doing now and open yourself to cruel and
unexpected variables which always ends up in shocking
pain after the fleeting pleasure...
Work your marriage to work..
ur husband isn't gay,otherwise he wouldn't have an erection when u touch him....Please find out from him if he did any jazz where they told him that the price for d jazz is that he would never sleep with his wife again.....remember the case of that armed robber (read it on LIB) shina rambo i think,who did jazz and was asked never to sleep with women?
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you what is wrong with him (cause i dont know him) but I can give you a number to text that can set you on your way. The person sells Adult Toys and they should be able to help with the physical part but emotionally, you are on your own. 08064949219.
ReplyDeletehe probably has an illness he doesnt want u to get infected with....better still, ask him wot the problem is, dont kip quiet
ReplyDeleteI beg to digress.
ReplyDeleteQUESTION :if a woman commits adultery,confesses and asks for forgiveness, and promises never to do it again. is it possible to forgive and keep her in the marriage at least for the sake of the children involved.
Is it ok for the spouse to deny her of sex and continue with his usual exmarital affairs?.
Honey i think the prblm is spiritual, maybe he has joined somekind of cult and he was told neva to sleep with you. the solution is to find a strong church, a bilble believing church like Living faith, or Dunamis or Redeemed Christain Church of God
ReplyDeleteMy dear, all I can think from this is that your husband is either gay or in the occult. I know you're not happy at the moment, but please gather your strength and use this time to investigate properly. Don't worry him with too many questions. Just observe him very closely. Observe how he relates with other men, just keep observing. Above all, ask GOD to open your eyes and your understanding to what is behind his behavior. Pls my dear, if you do find out that he is gay, kindly save yourself and your little son by leaving him. He's not worth your pain and trouble. It is very well with you.
ReplyDeleteSister here's my own take. I don't think he's gay like some people pointed out even gay men still have sex with their wives to carry on d deceit. I don't think he's having an affair either cos he will still sleep with u just to carry on with d deceit. So I feel its one of three things; its either psychosomatic, biological (as in disease) or most likely spiritual/occult matter. Either way u need help fast to figure out what it is and what to do about it. Trust me when I say prayers work wonders to give u insight into what d problem is but u gotta pray the right prayers!
ReplyDeletemadam may u having a child is the issue; probably ur husband does not want a child between u two..
ReplyDeleteHe probably is HIV positive and is trying to avoid putting you in the same situation.
ReplyDeletemy advice:
ReplyDelete1.get his sperm in a bottle and use it to fertilise your egg so u can have kids
2. then get to talk to his pastor and people he respects so that you will know whats up with him
but sweetie, since u people are married, you cant divorce him o.
most importantly, do a lot of fasting and praying. talk to some mfm pastors about it.
- olah
- olah
ReplyDeleteJune 5, 2012 2:05 PM
Did you think about your response at all before posting it?? The woman said her husband has refused to have sex with her and all you can say is for her to get his sperm... How is she going to do that??? in her dream or her husband's dream?? dah... what a norbit!!
very gay or not interested in you anymore and getting it from elsewhere.as per him having a hard when you touch him,thats normal human reaction sis.good of you not to have cheated.you must be quite frustrated.
ReplyDelete