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Friday 13 April 2012

The funniest #ifihad30millionNaira tweets

Written by Anita Aiyudu
So it happened that I came across a rather humorous trending topic on twitter, #ifihad30millionNaira. And if you’re anything like me, I usually stop by to check what the trending topics are from day to day the way a newspaper addict passionately checks the front cover of a daily for the slightest glimpse of interesting headlines. And like the picture described above, I indeed saw an interesting headline…oh sorry…I mean trending topic that almost got me wishing. But abeg, if wishes were cars…I would have 10 Lamboghinis. LOL
Please continue...





So like I was saying, at the beginning I was somewhat impressed that the whole Nigeria has repented as most of the tweeps were claiming they would pay their tithes first before doing anything else. While I was still there beaming with hopeful smile, a rather insane tweet got my attention. Someone tweeted that if he were given 30 million naira today that he would give everything to his girl and before I knew it, I found myself giving in to my curiosity by zooming at the dude’s avatar…when I saw it…I laughed out loud. ‘You no fit do that kain thing jor’

In that instant, I decided…this is too interesting a topic to overlook.  ‘Write I must about this, I will not be the only one to see this’.  I hope you’re grateful I did. 

So I ended up collating not the ‘sane’ ones of course but the insane ones. After all the simplest definition of news is: when a dog bites a man it’s not a big deal, but when a man bites a dog it becomes a worldwide hit. So please find below some of the very funny and interesting tweets that caught my attention. 

 @moye_b  I will faint for 30mins. #ifihad30millionNaira

 @adeolajacob  I will get married... #ifihad30millionNaira

@blackboy2star  No more knottin of tie in d sun,start farming bizness..sharply #ifihad30millionNaira

@mikelnic  I will dig a hole and put it in. And den tink of wot to do it #ifihad30millionNaira

@bisijewel i will build a software that will automatically tweet wot's on my mind #ifihad30millionNaira
@Notindomi i wee buy tiri containers of cookin ingredients for ewa-aganyi #ifihad30millionNaira
@yung__wezzy  i will use it to get a blackberry porshe n use d remainin to recharge n subscribe #ifihad30millionNaira

 @osvicom  I will join a political party and contest for Local Government Chairman #ifihad30millionNaira
@olome98 ......run comot 4 dis country final #ifihad30millionNaira

@chubysaka Chieftaincy title straight away. 3 titles for dt matter #ifihad30millionNaira

And please join the conversation on twitter. Maybe your tweet will be featured here sometime soon, who knows? CIAO.

57 comments:

  1. the best said for me is
    olome98 ......run comot 4 dis country final #ifihad30millionNaira

    cos even our leaders no get hope for nigeria naim make dem de loot go keep for swiss accounts.

    if i got 30million bucks, i am outta here. even if it is to ghana to start a clean sweet life. away from boko haram, no electricity, and all of naija's troubles

    ReplyDelete
  2. Linda ikeji's Husband13 April 2012 at 12:31

    Will invest it in oil and gas bizness

    ReplyDelete
  3. 30 million Naira!!!*tinkin*....*still tinkin*....i will resign from work and spend it....

    ReplyDelete
  4. Funny comments. As for me, I will go to my boss's office, tongue lash her and then resign and start my own business.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Pay my tithe and then vamoose from this country! #odigbere

    ReplyDelete
  6. Replies
    1. Buhahahhahahahahahaha...best comment so far
      Cool great story Linda...

      Delete
  7. lol @yung_wezzy, na only BB porsche dey do you?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lmao @ "I'll dig a hole..." Hmmm well truth b told I'll find sumthn worth investing d money in2.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lmao @ "I'll dig a hole..." Hmmm well truth b told I'll find sumthn worth investing d money in2.

    ReplyDelete
  10. i will travel around the world:)
    chino

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  11. Get into Politics. ACN DONATOR HENCEFORTH. THINGS BEGIN TO MAGIC.
    '74

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wild laffa@ i wee buy tiri containers of ingredients for ewa-aganyi, i will faint for 30mins, the BB porshe dreamer and the chieftaincy title .
    I laff soteee my colleague look me, check my computer screen, hiss and said" Stupid girl and her addiction to Linda's blog. You are not challenged, amebo oshi!)
    Thanks Linda ojare

    ReplyDelete
  13. N30m is less than £1m. Sorry love, I already have MOREeeeeeeeee than N30m. Smh. Go on, hate me, please.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just accept that u are a fool and i will let u be.

      Delete
  14. i would invest in building a big house and rent it out.

    being a land lady is a fixed asset and it dosnt diminish. lol

    ReplyDelete
  15. Love it. Well if I had N30m on this blog, I'd make Gbenga marry an Ibo girl and get Bamidele a teacher to teach him logic, pay Atobatele to love and marry him and buy Linda, Paul Okoye(shebi Linda, abi na Peter?) as husband for Linda and we shall all live happily ever after.

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  16. @notidomi.* I wee buy tiri container to seell ewa aganyin*... I still dey laff...
    Kingsley

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  17. Big ups to Anita Aiyudu and thumbs up to Linda for featuring this. Simply hilarious. Yede.

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  18. i will go back to sleep

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  19. #ifihad30millionNaira then Linda will say bye-bye to spinsterhood. I'll marry her immeidately

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  20. That money can vanish within the snap of fingers,spend 5m 6 times and the money is gone.

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  21. #ifihad30millionNaira I will buy a range rover jeep and stage a caught in d act sex scene and post it on twitter. Its a riddle ooo.@neyopizzle

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  22. The tweets aren't funny though o_O

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  23. ROTFLMAO!!! are this people serious?

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  24. I already have way more than that. That's Chicken change to me. #MC Hammer#

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  25. Yung_weezy guy wan kill me hia....hey!! Pple can talkoooo!!!

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  26. I WILL USE FOR MY WEBSITE DESIGN

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  27. First, I will put 1 million naira crispy notes in a bowl, add milk and sugar, then chop it like cornflakes.

    ReplyDelete
  28. would buy Greece and probabaly sell later when it is at it's best. Would have love to buy germany too but the sold their souls long ago...lol

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  29. If i had 30million i will use 15million to build 3 houses for rent n use remaining for business.,.......harrison

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, u just made y day......

    ReplyDelete
  31. The buy bb porsche

    ReplyDelete
  32. I'll pay my tithes first, because tithing is an awesome thing, and there is a blessing and inner peace that comes with it. Then i'll get a masters degree first. Then i'll open up a dry cleaning service, because service oriented business pays more. And use some on my folks.

    ReplyDelete
  33. HILARIOUS
    '@olome98 ......run comot 4 dis country final #ifihad30millionNaira''

    ReplyDelete
  34. #Lmao D person dat wants to buy a bb porsche and use d rest to subscribe is a big fool.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Forget all these long talk. Show me the money first. Where is the money. Range Rover sport HSE. LED 80'HD TV SAMSUNG, PVR DECODER + 2 YEARS SUBSCRIPTION, Holiday with my Wify in Dubai, UK and the US. But where the money first now. Abey carry go jo.
    C C

    ReplyDelete
  36. as for me, i'd buy properties...lucrative one(s) at that.Grinning

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  37. Rotfl and lmai @t both d tweets nd libloggers comments, pls me i need d money, i dnt want 2 jst wish 4 it. Sm1 wipe ma tears away nd give me dat money. dose of u dat said u hav mor dan dat, i need jst 10m 4rm u, i dey wait ooo

    ReplyDelete
  38. All dos mumu people dat come on here and say dey av more dan dat shld shut d fuck up and get a life.Must u say somethin??awon ode oshi...pple dat have money dnt even brag about it...stupid foools.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Mc hammer and kemikal are d biggest fools on dis blog sha...u have d money,ok shut d f**k up already,u come on here yarning trash.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I already have a biz in my head I will go for it. 30m is a very good start for me.

    ReplyDelete
  41. This is by far d funniest to me: i wee buy tiri containers of cookin ingredients for ewa-aganyi LMAO!!!

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  42. I go buy lv shoes n brazillian hair n wear only dem komot. Not 4geting to carry ipad 2 4 hand

    ReplyDelete
  43. I am Nneka
    I will spread em all out on a king size bed @ four points and make love on it all night.....#just my fantasy oh# before all d born against bite my head off

    ReplyDelete
  44. Fly my mom out for proper treatments,keep 10m for myself and share the rest amongst my brodas.

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  45. I wil get marrid sharpaly & tak care of ma folks esp ma mum, those pple claimin dey alredy hv it shld go fuck fish 4 all i care kapish.....

    ReplyDelete
  46. i guess the real question is why would someone give me 30million naira.... Life is not "IF" peeps wake up :)

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  47. why would anyone give you 30 million naira Life is not "if" ..... but intelligent headline

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  48. Linda, you cant buy even one Lambogini with N30,000,000 bush girl. N30million is really not a lot, trust me.

    ReplyDelete
  49. ak47 she said if wishes were cars "bush man" looool

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  50. Run away sha..to wia? another country that will begin taxing money wey i no get from dem???...let's see...investment too plenty for Africa sha o..i go try buy boat for oil transportation on Niger delta

    ReplyDelete
  51. @Anon 10:59am - you get sense jare. Best answer I saw. May God bless you and grant you your desires.

    ReplyDelete

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the comment writers alone and does not reflect or represent the views of Linda Ikeji.

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