A cultist relation of mine was recently butchered almost to death by a rival cultist group. I heard it was in retaliation to a hit carried out by my relation and his gang which left someone dead. My relation now needs almost a quarter of a million Naira for surgery and as bread winner of my family, I'm expected to foot the bill. I can afford to but I've vowed not to.
You see, this cultist relation of mine was shot at two years. I paid a lot for his treatment.
Last year he was knifed at school and almost bled to death. Again, I paid for his treatment.
I begged him to leave cultism alone and change his ways. And I remember telling him that if he ever got hurt again because of cult activities that I will never help again. He promised to quit. He didn't.
Last week, I was told he had been attacked by a group of boys with cutlass and bottles. They were out to kill him but he managed to survive, barely. You would throw up if you saw what these guys did to him. Some parts of his body are missing.
I have since switched off my phones. I've deleted my facebook account and I've told my gate man not to allow any relation past my gate. I'm not spending another dime of my hard-earned money on a cultist who's refused to change.
Am I being heartless Linda?
Osas
Wow, tough question. Well, it depends on how related this relation is to me. If he is a younger brother, same parents, I would never turn my back on him...no matter what. But if he is a cousin, nephew or a distant relation...I could be tempted to, giving the circumstances.
But I would sincerely say be the bigger person and help him...maybe for a final time...and see if you can get him help after he leaves the hospital. He needs to be reformed. This is probably not the time to turn your back on him, even though I understand why you would.
Alright, let's see what others think. Please share your thoughts on this...
why should you pay for someone that obviously doesn't care for himself, twice you have cared for him more than he cares for himself, let the other members of the family that care for him go and borrow money to pay up. And you do not need to hide from them, just sit them down and tell them, the bible said we should love our neighbour more than ourselves not we should love them more. He'll continue to do this to you till you are 6ft underground, cos he knows you are soft.. I am very soft too, but I won't be held responsible for another person's irresponsibility.
ReplyDeleteI will not spend any more brass farthing on him!
ReplyDeletehave mercy oh... God does not give up on any of his children and we shouldn't either. Since you can afford it, please help him. But you have to be strict and give him conditions to change and live a responsible life.
ReplyDeleteThis cultist needs rehabilitation ... This is not a mere leave him alone to his vices, just like alcohol and illicit substance misuse are treated in some rehabilitation program. I think Osas has to be made aware of this.That is if he survives medical treatment first after this last 'hit'
ReplyDeleteit depends on how much disposable income you have.
ReplyDeleteIf you can party away 100k in a month and afford to go to Dubai twice a year, for example then help him.
If 250k is half of your live savings and would take you another 12 months to save, then don't.
In the case of the latter instead of the former,at least contribute 50k and tell then you can do more.They should go find a way with the rest.
In my view, never shut them out completely.These family things are more complicated than we first imagined.
my advice is to do what you think is right and no you are no being heartless, you've proved yourself enough for your family to know you are not heartless.
ReplyDeleteif it were me I'd say i won't help.
i once had a cousin who was a Capone in his cult while he was in UNIMAID. it took him more than six years to graduate from school for a four year course.
my mother, his mother, his father always got him out of trouble every single time and he never changed until he graduated.
when he graduated, we thought he had changed because he graduated, got a job, got married and had kids.
then he stole from his boss and got fired, then "burrowed" his wife money to build the house he claimed was his, battered his wife, continued with his cult related activities and never cared about his children; they could die for all he cared and every single thing he owned was actually his wife's because whenever he paid for anything or bought anything, she'd have to refund him. he became a HOUSEHUSBAND because he kept on getting fired so he got tired of searching.
if you noticed, i said I ONCE HAD, that's because he is dead. he died November 2009 at the age of 37 though not of cult related activities but to be honest, he had no life....no life because he wasted the one he had.
like i said before, DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT. my story was just to tell you that given your story, he will never change. that is a pill you'd have to swallow. SO BASE YOUR CHOICE ON YOU AND NOT ON THE HOPE THAT HE'LL CHANGE. DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT AND YOU'D BE AT PEACE WITH.
If body parts are missing, and he's at the point of death, of course you should help him.
ReplyDeleteHe's learnt his lesson, or you think he's going to be involved in cult activities with missing body parts?
i agree with the osas guy...but pls help him if you could...he needs help...u probably dont know why the guy has not left the cult...he might be getting death threats and stuff...most of these cult guys want to leave but due to vows and oaths dey take it makes it hard for them to leave cults even if they want to...that mite be the reason why dey even want to kill the guy...think about that...i think u should help him if u can..cus if u leave him in his present situation it wont help matters
ReplyDeletemy advice is to do what you think is right and no you are no being heartless, you've proved yourself enough for your family to know you are not heartless.
ReplyDeleteif it were me I'd say i won't help.
i once had a cousin who was a Capone in his cult while he was in UNIMAID. it took him more than six years to graduate from school for a four year course.
my mother, his mother, his father always got him out of trouble every single time and he never changed until he graduated.
when he graduated, we thought he had changed because he graduated, got a job, got married and had kids.
then he stole from his boss and got fired, then "burrowed" his wife money to build the house he claimed was his, battered his wife, continued with his cult related activities and never cared about his children; they could die for all he cared and every single thing he owned was actually his wife's because whenever he paid for anything or bought anything, she'd have to refund him. he became a HOUSEHUSBAND because he kept on getting fired so he got tired of searching.
if you noticed, i said I ONCE HAD, that's because he is dead. he died November 2009 at the age of 37 though not of cult related activities but to be honest, he had no life....no life because he wasted the one he had.
like i said before, DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT. my story was just to tell you that given your story, he will never change. that is a pill you'd have to swallow. SO BASE YOUR CHOICE ON YOU AND NOT ON THE HOPE THAT HE'LL CHANGE. DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT AND YOU'D BE AT PEACE WITH.
The bible says that all the devil is out to do is to kill, steal and destroy lives. It is very obvious to me that that remains his aim in the life of this young man and other young men who fall into this cultism trap. Unfortunately, some never live to tell their stories, like the young man whose death led to the reprisal attack on Osas's cousin. Having said that, I want Osas to know that God will not come down from heaven to tend those wounds so a human like you and me will have to do it. I strongly believe God had a reason for sparing his sorry life so that he can be a warning to those who are about to join or are already into cultism and if you let him die when you could have saved his life, a witness to the mercy of God and to the dangers of this sort of lifestyle is lost forever. it will take a fellow who is cursed from the womb to survive this sort of near death experience to go right back into cultism after this.All he has to do is look at himself in a mirror everyday of the rest of his life and remind himself of his past. please Osas, help him and God who see all will reward you. Remember, none of us meritted God's forgiveness and yet He still sent His ONLY Son to die for us all.
ReplyDeleteI think you should help him.
ReplyDeleteHe is obviously very disturbed and as soon as he gets better, take him to a specialist.
God never turns his back on us, how much more should we, who are made in his image, behave?
If not for anything, help him because you can. A man who constantly helps his brother is not a fool, for one day He will stand before God, and God will say, "Well done, You have obeyed Matthew 5:38-48."
I hope that helped.
what if he decides to carry out a hit on you??
ReplyDeletehey linda, how's it goin??
its really a tight one trust me.If you pay he will definitely go back to revenge and if you refuse to help him and he dies in d process you will be named as a cruel person by people and even your family.Its a hard one but i advise you follow ur mind.
ReplyDeleteno my dear Osas, you are not being heartless at all and you are within your rights to refuse to assist him. If he chose not to listen to you the last time you warned him after paying for his treatment, then what happen with the recent injury is his own fault. Remember that someone died as a result of his cultism and yet he still wants you to pay N250K toward his treatment? Your cousin is taking the mickey. Please don't hide from your relatives- just tell them you will NOT put a penny toward the hospital treatment. Your cousin needs to live with the consequences of his action and learn from it; please please do not pay his medical bill again
ReplyDeleteIt's a tough one, it's easy to say don't help him but I'm sure you don't want his blood on your hands. Help him this last time and call s family meeting when he is better and tell the elders of your family that this will be the last time you will be paying for him getting into trouble. Make sure everybody ESP his parents etc understand exactly your position. Tell them not to bother coming to inform you as you won't entertain them. Hopefully, he'll realise the error of his ways and change. If not, you shld be rest assured you've done your best.
ReplyDeleteI also think it's very tough for him to leave the cult. He would always be associated with that cult and will probably still be susceptible to attacks. Perhaps, you should consider transferring him to another uni so he can start afresh. All the best with the tough decision you have to make.
Why spend his hard-earned money on a cultist relation? It is like telling him its okay to do what he is doing... no way!!!
ReplyDeleteIf he is a thief, arm robber or terrorist, will you ask the guy to continue to foot his medical bills because of relation? NO!
He is not heartless and I even pity him for taking care of his relations... I think the guilty should suffer for their sins... thanks!
sup bro..... I fink it would be nice if you can help dis dude. You kno d problem with relatives......if d dude shld die cos of lack of treatment blv me no relatives will see d 1ce u av been done in past. Pls bro just help dis dude and get out of there and get him arrested after hospital.
ReplyDeleteI will not pay one dime my sister
ReplyDeleteHi Linda.
ReplyDeleteIf you have the money and can afford to, please please go ahead and pay for the treatment. You reaction to his stupidity will not change anything about him. The truth is that till he hits rock bottom, he will never change all u can do is help out with what u can but be careful and watch your back so they don't come after you. I will be praying for your safety too.
Please help him out if you have the money. Leave God to judge him.
ReplyDeleteFor those saying they wont help, Good luck to y'all.. But I'm sure if it was your child that was involved, you would help out even if it happened 50times. I'm not in anyway saying cultism is good but human life is involved here.... God has a reason for sparing his life else he'd have died. I'm sure he's learnt his lesson this time....
God has never turned his back on us even when we sin over and over again so we really shouldn't turn our backs on our fellow human beings if we have the means to help.....
Its difficult but with God's help, we can do it.
linda i will suggest that you give half of the money and tell them to go look for the other half so you wont be called a killer if he dies. cos people would say you had the money but left him to die. hope you see reasons
ReplyDeletefamily matters are very delicate you need to be diplomatic when dealing with them....
Assuming he didnt have this Osas guy as a relative or osas didnt have the money...shay he would have died since.
ReplyDeleteor if he managed to survive after his family would have begged and gathered money from various sources shay he would have found a way to leave that cult....if he was serious to get away from those people shay he would have left that school to an undisclosed school abi....for someone who is serious.
I have seen fathers who turned their backs on children who have refused to change their ways. and this isnt even his child. My dear do what u can or what u can afford.
Nigerians just know how to take benevolent relatives for granted.
Imagine if the guy wanted to buy a car or something nice for his children or wife, he will then have to give it to to this idiot. N250k is not beans....until u have to bring it out to dash someone that is when u will know.
Some people are daft!!!
ReplyDeleteCant people read? Who said it's Linda's relative....all these ppl begging linda to give him another try?
Secondly, the person who posted as skankmy pieceof mind is obviously a sham...No be she oooo! Anyone with half a brain can see that!
On to the post, I'd like to say no, don't help that evil cousin who doesn't see himself as worthy but becaus of God's grace abeg bros Osas, helep am o!!!
The way I see it, Osas is making money for himself and can choose how he spends it. I can only imagine the frustration he must feel to have reached this decision and can't say that i'd make a different decision if I were in his shoes. All he needs to do is be able to sleep at night with the decision he's made.
ReplyDeletebros Osas abeg make u help him for your own sake.
ReplyDeleteif he dies, no matter how much u think he does not deserve it now, u will feel some guilt.
if he dies, ur extended will bring wahala u dont need.
when people behave stupid, we should just thank God that we are not the one. Do you think people know what they do half of the time
There are horrible people who have reformed, who knows who can.
Abeg just give what u can afford at this point, talk to his head well after this incidence and most importantly pray for him.
After that the matter remain for God's hands
@adesua
ReplyDeleteits you thats the daft 1 just because people though it was Linda's relative doesn't mean they are daft it was probably just a mistake
we have seen the intelligent one now hissss