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Friday 21 May 2010

This post has no title. I just want to vent...

I want to vent. Please pardon me. I’m not venting at anyone in particular...just at everybody in general...if that makes sense.

I’m going to start this way. What the hell is wrong with us human beings? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why are we angry, frustrated, and depressed over things we can’t change and have no control over? Why do we dwell on things we don’t have? Why do we look at others and get jealous and envious and angry over what they have? My God, what is wrong with us? Why can’t we count our blessings instead of listing things we don’t have?

And why the hell do we think that being sad, or miserable or envious will solve anything?

I met an aspiring singer yesterday and she was telling me all her problems. In the middle of it she started crying. Crying because she’s been trying to break out and nothing has happened to her yet. Look at Omawumi she said; she started barely two years ago and she’s one of the biggest things in music today. Why shouldn’t I cry? I’ve been trying since 2004 and no big break for me yet, and it’s not like I don’t have talent...blah, blah, blah! Oh so you even have talent? I asked her. Do you know how many people will give an arm to have the kind of voice you have? I can’t sing to save my life, but you have the voice, you have the passion and best of all you are still young, but here you are crying in front of me...what a shame! Are you supposed to be crying or looking for ways to make your dreams come true? You think anger will get you a demo? You think depression will make radio DJ’s play your song? You think tears will give you paying concerts? No honey it won’t. And the sooner you realise that the better for you.

The sooner we all realise that being angry at ourselves or the world will not solve our problems, the better for us. Why do we let little things make us sad? You are not as successful as the next person, so bloody f**king what? There’s something in your life that’s worth celebrating. Celebrate that! I mean, we don’t know what the next minute holds for us, we don’t know whether we will be alive or dead tomorrow, so why are we living today like we are going to live forever? We won’t. The only thing we are sure of is now, this moment. Tomorrow is not a guarantee. So why do we surround ourselves with negativity? Life is hard enough, why make it harder on ourselves? Why choose sadness over happiness? Why choose sleepless nights over peace of mind? Life may deprive us of so many things but there are things we shouldn’t let it take from us - happiness and peace of mind.

If you’re broke, ask reliable friends for help. If no one wants to help, sit in your house and drink epa and garri...with a smile on your face. Where you are is not a permanent place. With God, it gets better. So please don’t give frustration a chance. in your life.

If anyone should be frustrated, it should be me. I thought I will be bigger than I am right now. I can’t even begin to describe how hard I’ve worked, all the ventures that didn’t succeed. But here I am, still standing. Still trying. Some people might want to feel sorry for me, but don't. I love where I am. Somebody wrote one time – Linda is just a hustler. Well I love hustling. If I didn’t like it, I would have married a rich man long ago and lived the fairytale life, but that’s not what I want my story to be. I want more than that for myself. So for that reason, I will keep hustling until I don’t need to anymore. That’s all we owe ourselves, to keep trying.

I had a book launch exactly two weeks ago today. When a friend asked me how much I realised, I told her (I raised 728 thousand). And she was like - this people are wicked oh, so that’s all they could give you? N728thousand? Na wa o. Did she say na wa o? Na wa o? My God!!! People go out of their way, cancel appointments, leave work early, travel from far to come to your event and then they bring out their hard earned money to support your dream...and it’s na wa o? So how much did you expect me to realise I asked. Ha ha, at least 2million she said. 2 million? Really? I went to companies and told them about my launch and two of them agreed to finance the event. They could have said no. I didn’t spend one dime of my money and I still raised over 700 grand and I should be angry about that? Why should I be counting how much I should have raised instead of counting how much I got? What if people didn’t even turn up? What if they came and didn’t have any money to give? Would I pick a bow and arrow and start shooting everyone? Why can't we learn to be grateful for the little blessings in our lives?

But what baffles me most is that some of us actually think that the society owes us something. It doesn’t really. Some of us go around waiting for someone to apologise to us; looking for people to fight our battles. Trust me nobody has the time to fight your battles...at least not the way you want it fought. They are busy with their own life's journey. You have to find a way to give yourself the life you want, nobody can give it to you. The society can't. It doesn't owe you. Just like we don't owe the society that much either. The only thing we owe our society is to be law abiding citizens, and contribute positively to it, other than that I don't see what else we owe. So we shouldn't let the society dictate to us.

If I want to wear the same dress twice in one week, I will. If you don’t like it, that’s not my problem. That’s your problem. You deal with it. And when you are done dealing with it..or not, come back and watch me wear the same dress again. Then you can jump from your balcony :-).

I derail. Like I said I want to vent :-). I'm writing down everything I'm thinking. Hope I'm making sense? I don't know what else to say...

But anyway, let me end with this. Instead of getting angry at your situation, go out there and change your destiny. Every single day we are alive is a chance for us to start all over again. Just tell yourself, today is the beginning of a new life for me. From this minute, a new me starts. It’s that simple.

And please try and be happy no matter what situation you find yourself. Depression has never helped anyone. Don't give it a chance in your life.
God bless.

I’m busy this weekend, will catch you guys next week.
Have a fantastic weekend
Kisses
L

86 comments:

  1. I think I love ds Linda...

    Many of us aint content with what we have because we are busy looking at what odaz have and we dont...dat to me is greediness of the highest order..

    May God help us all..
    Have a swell weekend hun..xx

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  2. Wow,this one na fire!god!i could almost feel the emotions in these words and i really understand how you feel.Am totally touched.Thanks

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  3. Fantastic write-up!!! It takes one who has been through the University of Life to come up with such an inspirational post. Keep up the good work!!!!

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  4. awesome post Linda. I feel you were talking to me cos sometime this week, I was in the "why me"? mode. lol.. then God spanked me really hard, and I dusted myself and started to rejoice..."why not me?" it only gives me a platform for a greater testimony.

    easier said than done sha! lol

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  5. Hi Madam L.Today's post is quite inspiring and elevating. My spirit soars.I love it. Hope ladies are not restricted.Catch you all.......wink.

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  6. Wow! I thought i was the only one who saw life like this. From START, i've always had a positive outlook to life...that's it, REMAIN GRATEFUL for the LITTLE THINGS cos the BEST will surely come.

    Nice one Linda!

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  7. Wow Linda...you nailed it!
    Thanks for the wake up call, couldn't agree more.
    So, good luck with your hustle and let me get on with my hustle.
    Cheers.

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  8. Well for the lady who wants to be like Omawunmi, pls take it easy. Most people who make it suddenly have been working and planning and developing themselves for a while.

    Just like before you shoot an arrow, it has to be pulled back sufficiently before it goes forward.

    And a plant first grows its roots (UNSEEN) in the ground before it can come up and be seen and survive. If the roots are not strong, it will not last.

    All seeds decay before they come alive and sprout and then grow to whatever either mango tree, orange tree, etc. That is plants oh talkless of humans.

    The same thing with a baby, it has to be planted before it can become a foetus and then a human being. No foetus, no baby.

    Things take time, good things take a lot of time. If you are building yourself or wealth form scratch, accept that it will take some time, blood, sweat and tears and you might be much older before you make it. But the fulfilment will be worth it for sure.You certainly can't have everything at once.

    Comapre yourself with yourself not with others. What I mean is your today with yesterday, this year with last year,or five years ago, etc.

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  9. Linda you shouln't be giving details of how much money you raised in public. Abeg exercise some restraint especially for safety sake. You do not owe anyone any information.

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  10. Linda, big ups to you for putting this up mehn. Very deep n true in all aspects. Peeps need tah believe in themselves because at the end of the day, life's what we make it.

    Have a fantabulous weekend gurl.

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  11. Lyn, this is your best post since i started reading this blog. This is the best thing you have ever told me. Thank you so much. Thank you once again, I am encouraged. God bless you real good. May He continue to use you. Have a blissful weekend.

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  12. Right on time.
    I ve been depressed for a while.
    I was going thru my diary lastweekend and i realized that i had not achieved anything for the year even though i had made an effort to achieve these things.I ve been crying,nagging ,blaming myself and comparing myself to my colleagues who are doing better than me.Thank you linda for this post.

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  13. Well said Linda ! Some parts of your rant felt like you were talking to ME!!!! Sometimes we all need a good talking to.....

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  14. :) Spoken like a true Virgo lol!. The fact is not everyone will ever get it. That they are the biggest obstacle in their own way. You realize ANYTHING is possible. They realize EVERYTHING can affect their dream. The solution: Keep being you and hopefully they will pick up on the positive vibes from you. Am jes saying!

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  15. I totally agree with you, depression not help at all. It just makes matters worse!

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  16. I AGREE WITH U ON THIS LINDA. that's the problem with nigerian ppl, they always want more and they are not grateful for what dey have no matter how big or small. it's a nigerian problem that's why our country is still going backwards in everything. i believe ppl shud just live their life and be happy but it always seems like ppl are never happy unless they have fame and fortune and power and that is just a lie. everybody is striving to be like their neighbour, they want everything another person has. infact me i'm tired, i don't even know how u could write that long. if i keep writing, i'll probably write a book. but i sha liked this ur post.

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  17. Waoh!!!well said life is too short my dear. I love the venting, everybody have a time and season to shine, yours my dear is already shining and i wish you all the best in life. AN OVATION FOR YOU!!!!!!!

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  18. Linda, na real vent o! You do make alot of sense dear

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  19. Loved this post. Wow, 700,000 N is nothing? Um ok. You are right Linda; it is something and you should be grateful and proud to have raised that much!
    Keep up the honest blogging!

    Cheers

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  20. ahn ahn
    aunty linda! ema binu gan

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  21. Good thinking, good .............

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  22. Hmmmm, so many point you raised here Linda, I think as human beings, it is good that we have space to be frustrated, we have space to be angry and dont forget that that is why we have space to think of solutions to our problems. When faced with adversities or issues, we may be so forgetful to count our blessings but those who rise above the frustration, the anger, the diasppointment are the ones constantly thinking and proferring in some cases some solutions into these issues.

    There is no perfect answer or solution to this discussion but that was just my thoughts.

    Wishing you all the best.

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  23. I'm gonna show this to my friend...dude is always comparing...forever forgeting her blessings!

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  24. I am going to print this post and read it over and over again in months and years to come.
    My estimation of you has gone up exceedingly.
    That your book even if na rubbish you right inside, when i cone to Nigeria in August, i will buy a few copies,if only to identify with you.
    The whole essence of this race called life is not even to succeed.It is to be able to look in the mirror at the end of the day and realize that you gave it your best shot.That nothing more that could have been done was left undone.
    Linda Ikeji i salute you.
    Your light will never fade.
    In addition that rich man,is on his way sha!! :-)

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  25. Hi Linda, I've been reading your blog say like forever, and you've motivated me to start blogging. I get to work and the first thing I want to do is check out your blog.

    Well, I'm now a blogger, whenever you've got the chance pls check it out and let me know what you think by leaving a comment.

    http://memoirsofanewlywednaijabride.blogspot.com/

    You're my inspiration girlfriend.xx

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  26. Linda the lord will continue to bless.U re a blessing to ur generation,and the good lord will fulfill all ur heart desires.well spoken.

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  27. i haven't finished reading the post yet but let me just make my comment before i forget it. you are so right and this is the same yarns i gave myself beginning of this year. i've always wanted to be fashion designer. You know what the industry is like... i have to go to learn a lot of things before i finally produce a line blah blah blah... these things cost a lot of money that i don't have. i was almost getting depressed and whenever i see younger designers i would be like "my designs are even better than that". i worked in a bank in naija before coming over here for my masters and i just had to tell myself to get real and strategize my life. i can't say "you know what, i am only going to follow my dream of fashion. i don't care how much it costs and if i have to starve" i can't say that, because my family is depending on me to get a good job and support them in some way. and that is exactly what i'll be doing till the next few years or so and you can be sure that i'll be back on my fashion track later on. people need to understand that life is a race and we all have different starting points. the sooner you become aware of your starting point, the quicker you can run and overtake people that started better than you did. i mean, if my family could afford for me to go to fashion school in NY when i was 16, maybe you would have heard of me by now. but they couldn't so you'll have to hear of me later on. so instead of crying over that one little detail, i'm going to make the most of what we can afford and develop myself. afterall, there are people that don't even have access to basic education.

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  28. Well Said Linda, it's like you've been watching my life lately. I've been going through some tough times and i actually decided that i would not let it bring me down. it is easier said than done but it is doable and i am doing it and happy with they i feel. This was a good read.

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  29. I am so commenting on this!
    I REALLY REALLY LOVE this post!!! this is SO big of you,Linda. and I must add that you are truly one person that is down to earth,considering all the hype around you.
    Stay real :-))

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  30. A_Girl_Inspired21 May 2010 at 15:29

    Preach sister!! I love that whole vent its amazing!! And yes that is a lot you raised for a book that you didn't even fund yourself!
    It's all about creating your own luck or 'hustling' so I'm glad you are happy and I love this message because it is exactly how I feel.
    People are rarely grateful for what they have always complaining etc. God Bless you for letting others know that they can be happy wherever they are....all they need to do is choose to be happy and they will. I want to meet you Linda!! Now more that ever! :-)

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  31. linda ..linda...
    i want to be like u when i grow up...
    im older than uuuuuu...lol

    this is the best advice ever...
    ive always told myself that no one owes me anything....

    how can i thank u for this post...
    it came at the right time to motive me to stop crying....
    sometimes it is hard...the tears just wont stop...
    but God dey...

    THANK U...U DESERVE AN AWARD FOR THIS POST...

    LINDA FOR PRESIDENT OOOOO...LOL

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  32. random side point- is Andy gay?

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  33. Linda baby aka madam life coach, how now? long time, no hear. Does the 'aspiring singer' you're talking about realise that she's in the entertainment industry and in naija for that matter? If you're in the music industry, you've to start somewhere by performing in small venues, bars, clubs, send demos to radio djs, perform at parties, make your voice heard. She started 6 yrs ago and she's moaning already. Even the A-list nollywood actors you see today started with 'waka-pass' roles before they made it big.

    BTW, when are you going to continue with the usual gossip and tatafos? I miss those bits abeg.

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  34. wow..love it and thanks for sharing..Good wake up call..:) depression hasnt helped anyone so get busy with your life..well written...

    Linda ifeoma ikeji unique

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  35. Linda, thank you!

    Once when I said I was a doer on my blog, someone wanted to chop me raw, lol. In this life, our destiny is in our hands. It is better to be happy and do what we want than watching others and calculating how much we are better or they are better than us. Let's thank God for life and strength, in HIM we can DO all things.

    You are an inspiration and congrats on your launch. In my books, 700k is an overwhelming success. Well done!

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  36. wise words linda. u no someone told me sometime ago is that the secret to being happy is neva to attach our happiness 2 anything at all. being passionate abt something is different from being attached. i should be able to wake up in the mornin n be happy just bein ifeoma. wen u giv it a thot, it really is true. i had 2 agree.

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  37. Need I say more?You have expressed my thots exactly. If you want something from life, demand and demand till life gives you want you want.

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  38. thank you so much for saying this.........you helped my day alot...you are so right about everything

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  39. It's normal for people to occasionally feel that way but the most important thing at such moments is to realize "You're more than you really think you are" and your script is not the same as someone else's. This should inspire anything feeling down or feeling bad about themselves http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc4HGQHgeFE

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  40. lovely, lovely, lovely words of encouragement.. all I can say is may God bless you...

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  41. Linda ur such a smart, intellectual person! I love this post and i am going to post it on my facebook page( i will cite and tag you of course)I think this is worth sharing with as many people as possible. This is the first time am commenting here. you are trully a phenominal woman!

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  42. Wow Linda i am touched! i am one of your greates adversary but after reading this you gave me some word of implication, keep it up i just might like you a lil bit

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  43. HILARIOUS!!! "If no one wants to help, sit in your house and drink epa and garri...with a smile on your face."

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  44. i like this too "If I want to wear the same dress twice in one week, I will. If you don’t like it, that’s not my problem. That’s your problem. You deal with it. And when you are done dealing with it..or not, come back and watch me wear the same dress again. Then you can jump from your balcony :-).

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  45. I love you too Linda, catch ya next week.

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  46. This is so true! But, it is easier said than done. Of course, everyone wants to be happy, but what if the one thing that makes you happy you can't have it? I guess you have to figure out a way to make it happen. Don't forget it might take a while to get where you want to be.So, it is okay to be angry, sad, or whatever emotion you feel like going through because, it is part of getting better. It is all a process. It is how long that you mad at yourself that matters. You don't want to stay mad forever. So, be mad, frustrated or whatever. Then, get up and keep trying again. It is part of life. "Pain is God's megaphone." It is his way of arousing us from spiritual lethargy.

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  47. Fantastic! I totally agree. In one word - contentment.

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  48. Linda, please cool down. At least you got it off your chest. If I could tell you the hell I went through with my own people you will pity me.

    Life is life and people may never change if they are over 18. Try to keep friends that are older than you in order to avoid envy. It also helps to live longer in this sinful world.

    Linda, you are not as angry as I am right now so Koolu temper ooo.

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  49. Put the book on Amazon and luck may shine on you. Promote it on TV with interviews et al. Who knows? Oprah may interview you. Have you sent her a copy of your book? An American publisher may later want to publish it.

    Keep trying and NEVER give up. If all that does not work then try fiction ala Harry Potter. Mind you, J K Rowling was recently accused of plagiarism. Are you laughing?

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  50. Nice and inspiring post linda. You just made my day. God bless.

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  51. thats why i love your blog linda. your venting makes the whole lot of sense!

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  52. thats why I love your blog Linda. your venting makes a whole lot of sense!

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  53. I am so glad i clicked on your page today. This was on point and it spoke to me. I especially liked the imagery of shooting people with bows ad arrows, it was funny. I hope the lady gets her break though, cos though we should have faith sometimes with regards to our situation, discouragement is hard and it eats at you. I loved every word of your post, I felt everything you were trying to say.

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  54. I love you Linda. X

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  55. Linda,

    You are a lot wiser than your age and a pride to your generation.
    Keep flying high.

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  56. I totally understand your point, Linda... The problem is that people don't know what others have been through. The Omawumi example the singer gave, for instance, might be very wrong. For all we know Omawumi was hustling her ass off before she got on that show and got exposure... Not all quick rises to fame are what they seem.

    I think you should be proud of all you have achieved, especially in a day when people don't want to work for anything. Just looking for a men to "keep" them. It's quite sad. The best we can do is live our lives and if people don't like it... Well, they can jump from their balcony. :)

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  57. Great Post Linda!!! I feel u.

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  58. Thanks for writing this I am ashamed to say am one of those people who choose to envy others.at 27 years I have had 2surgeries in d space of 4 months.right now am still in d hospitAl trying to recover from d 2nd one.hating my life rgt now is an understatement.its as wen a big break wants to hppn for me.I end up in hospital and loose out.and u also get to knw who ur real friends are in tyms like dis too.

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  59. Whilst I had like to agree with all that you said Linda, I disagree a lot with the tone of your rant or vent in some instance.

    Everyone goes through those times as the one described about the young talented aspiring artiste. I know I did 11 years ago when I had just arrived in the UK trying to land my first graduate job in accountancy with a Nigerian degree (albeit a good one). It was so frustrating and I cried complained, nagged and almost gave up. It was even worse when I heard news of my class mates who were landing jobs in big 4 companies and banks back in Nigeria. I questioned my decision to leave Nigeria. But my anger and fustration motivated me and I landed my first job 5 years later and since them I have been moving on up.

    It all depends on how you channel the anger. some let it lead them down the path of jealousy, bribery or just plain resignation.

    We are all humans and are bound to feel slightly let down by life (Cos life isn't fair). I think I would be wary of anyone with talent who wasn't worried that their talent was not yeilding them any success.

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  60. Thank you. I agree with you, one just has to be happy, no matter what. Please, on another note, I can suggest you uploading pics. from ur book launch. The reason being that you post other peoples events pictures on your blog, why not yours? Abi. I am serious, dear sister.

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  61. 100% Spot on!!! In all things give thanks!!!

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  62. "What if they came and didn’t have any money to give? Would I pick a bow and arrow and start shooting everyone?"

    lollllllllzzzzz

    Thanks L, for venting cos you don't know how much healing this will bring to someone!
    I was also forced to come up with a note on my fb page some days back when I started crying over nothing! I know I've been going in and out of moods for a while now and if forced to come up with an explanation, I probably won't be able to put it together!

    I don't know how we get so busy hurting when there are reasons to be happy lying around!

    I have lost appetite for food; zeal to go out (even though I've never really been the outdoor kinda gal); I've just not been having it all smooth! still cried yesterday... feeling all alone and deserted!! I'm badly affected, that my **aunty Rose** didn't come visiting this month! **was told is due stress sha**

    Thank you dear... cos this morning I chose to breath and let go of every extra bag! I've got reasons to laugh and not cry... I choose to be happy jo!!!

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  63. Please tell us oh.. We all like to think that the world is always all about us..
    I'm so sorry I wasn't at your book launch.. I was ill..
    Thanks for venting..
    Learnt a lot.

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  64. Great Post and very well written.It is true as humans we are met to be eternally grateful for even being given the chance to continue living. People look at other people who are more successful and wish they were in their shoes. As a society a lot of people waste time wishing they could have more and be more et al, the key thing is to get up and do YOUR THING.Nobody owes you a thing, don't get angry and disappointed if you expecting nothing, if you get nothing you can't be angry/sad and if people show you kindness you'll be elated. My dearest Linda, I believe yours is coming, success and great wealth don't just land immediately, it is by gradual accumulation. It's not just about making money, but making it work for you and maintaining it.
    I wish you all the best in all your endeavours. xx

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  65. I love this post,God bless you Linda....I'm am so,so guilty.Only God can forgive us human,can we ever be satisfied?

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  66. 'Nuff said girlfriend! Oh and please feel free to vent whenever you need to, after all, if you can't vent on your blog where can you?

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  67. Thank you for that.

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  68. Love how real you are and I feel you on this one all the way...Thank you for being you...

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  69. May God bless you.

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  70. I dont recall ever leaving a comment on your site before Linda but i must say, you have a good head on you, you really do. Some of the things about not having food and settling for garri and peanuts or so, im sure you know isn't always that straight forward but i guess what you was trying to evoke is that whilst striving for more, one should still be content with what he/she has. I like that. I too will like to share a quote that i got from the least of expected source (a gangster film where they rapped the whole way through)... 'The past is history and the future is a mystery, but today is a gift and that's why it's called- the Present'. We really need to just take each day as it comes and not just endure it, but appreciate it, in it's highs and lows. We only live life once and though often undermined, it's such a precious gift. Even if we can't execute all our ambitions/heart desires, the least we can do is be happy which we'll naturally be, the more we learn to Count. Our. Blessings. Good Day.

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  71. TELL THEM!!!.......and Me!

    Thank you ......very well said.

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  72. LOL!!!!!!!!! @ the re-rocking part!

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  73. Glad to know you human...
    Loved this post.. Liked that you made it personal..

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  74. You are an inspiration Linda.. And without a doubt you are going to be BIG!! You have all the right stuff that greatness is made up!
    God bless you darling xx

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  75. ...bump...

    nice article

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  76. good girl Linda.

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  77. hmmmmnnnn that was something! funny enough I spent a lot of time on saturday chatting with a cousin who is doing the samething: self pity! and I had words for her!most of us have had it rough at some point or the other but its not enough to throw in the towel...keep pushing is what I say, never ever give up!life is too short if you spend most of it walloping in selfpity, life will just pass you by...so yes linda I feel you!

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  78. This post makes a whole lot of sense..We all need to be grateful for the little blessings that come our way.

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  79. Hey Linda, like you said why don’t we count our blessings. That’s what you should have told the sorry singer. You should have asked her if she had the opportunity to choose between fame and death which one will she’d go for? Dagrin was a great singer but where is he today? I’m sure a lot of people will give an arm and a leg to have him back here with us. I’m so impatient with people who can’t take responsibility for their life.

    I completely share your views on hard work and you know what I always look forward to reading your blog. I recently started blogging thanks to you.
    If you got a minute or two, I’d love for you to check it out and leave a message http://memoirsofanewlywednaijabride.blogspot.com/

    You’re my inspiration girlfriend.

    All the best in your endeavours.

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  80. Linda, this is lovely, very well written... I like the dress part. Keep this up, PLS VENT ALL THE TIME!

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  81. On pnt
    right on point
    nail on the head
    lifes to short to be moody

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  82. Hi
    I like your guts and your spirit.
    Yes i agree, we owe it to ourselves to give our dreams all we got.
    Thanks.
    I was blessed and i plan to give my dreams all i have got...

    ReplyDelete
  83. Linda u'er the best
    Linda u'er the best
    Linda u'er the best
    Linda u'er the best

    the best we ever had
    the best we ever had
    the best we ever had
    the best we ever had
    (Drake remix)

    ReplyDelete

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the comment writers alone and does not reflect or represent the views of Linda Ikeji.

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