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Monday, 2 February 2015

Why Nigerian girls prefer to date married men - Onyeka Ibeanusi

Article written by musician and social commentator, Onyeka Ibeanusi. Read below...
This controversial topic has been a subject of regular argument without any credible answer. You may have wondered why a beautiful young, presumably intelligent girl will leave a trail of young and energetic young men running after her to pitch her tent with a married man. Someone she is fully aware belong to someone else. This phenomenon has led established female celebrities who are considered screen goddesses of some sort to end up marrying old men. Sometimes as second, third or even fourth wives. There is no need to go into details because the list is endless.

Back to the pressing issue without straying far away from the main subject matter. Why do Nigerian girls prefer married men?

Like many before me, I will try to present answers to this controversial subject. Firstly, attention must be drawn to the fact that Nigeria is a country where everything is measured by the amount in your bank account. Nigerians do not care how intelligent, hardworking or talented you are; if you are not making money, I mean enough money, then you are still a learner.

Most girls have had their fair share of heartbreak from guys and in defence have opted for married men. Some want that fun ride, with no serious commitment, emotions and energy put into making something work with a single young man. Then again, the economic state of the nation. Many girls want to meet up financially but they don't want to be seen as 'Runs girls', 'Aristos' or whatever name we call it so the married man option to them becomes a lesser evil.

A married man will do anything to get that young single girl. He will spend money without thinking and knowing that there is really no future in the relationship, will give the girl some degree of freedom. A single young man will do the opposite. By the time he starts splashing cash on you, have it in mind that you have automatically become his property and part of his future plans. He expects a lot from the girl and the girl does the same.

In the case of dating a married man; except in rare cases, the relationship is more like a contract with both parties respecting a certain boundary.

Then again, the hope of getting someone 'Serious' while having fun and enjoying the goodies from the married man is a major motivational factor. Most eligible young Nigerian men are still struggling to find their feet and any serious relationship they get into, is part of a planning strategy. Someone that will help them plan better and secure their future which will certainly obstruct the free flow of fund like the case of a married man/single girl relationship. The married man is only in it for the ride since he is already settled and is looking for extra marital fun while the girl most often is in it for the money without commitment.

So the next time you wonder why a girl will leave you for a married man, remember the above reasons.

Onyeka 'Kerous' Ibeanusi

167 comments:

  1. It's all MONEY n Maturity nothing else

    @lwkmd_naija

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    Replies
    1. They also want their emotional needs to be filled and they believe married men are experienced at such... All I know is whatever anyone does, the repercussions awaits him.

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    2. @ Onyeka Exactly what u right. Most of those girls will regret it sue or latter. Because it's a cause for girl to date a married man. And they re laying down cause on their on born children, they don't no it, mtcheeeeeew

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    3. well said....



      Where do u spend ur leisure? How do u make urself happy? On those days when u need a smile. when u r all alone There is a place to lighten ur mood n forget lonelinessCLICK FOR SMILES

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    4. Very true and straight to the point. When poor married Men wants to flirt, I wonder what they have to offer.

      Order for your beautiful bedspread @ 79AEFD3B. Delivery available nationwide.

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    5. Noted...Onto the next pls..

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    6. I love this write up, plus this is so true

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    7. this has dabota lawson written all over. Oh well

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    8. Well I'm a guy nd I'll b honest some guys have issues nd can't commit to a relationship,but as 4 u ladies dating a married man is wrong, i know ur thinking it's cuz of the money u want him obviously nd he can't stop cuz he loves younger women but if u actually had common sense u wouldn't b mingling with another lady's man if u were married nd someone did dat to ur husband would u like it? nd please think really hard b4 u comment instead of saying something stupid please

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  2. It's all MONEY n Maturity nothing else

    @lwkmd_naija

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  3. We heard dat 1million tyms na.... next plz

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  4. Only greed causes this!

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    Replies
    1. Money and familiar demons causes it.

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    2. See your mouth like familiar demons. Every reap what they sow

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  5. TRUE TALK I SUPPORT D MOTION.tomjerryswit

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  6. TRUE TALK I SUPPORT D MOTION.tomjerryswit

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  7. This is so true. Girls and money tho. Smh.

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  8. Ladies pls stay off already married men. #NoThanksIHadRatherBeSelfMade.

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  9. True talk but our ladies are in constant denial of d above listed facts. Linda take note!

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  10. Yea most ladies marry married men bcos of money they just don't want to work. They are looking for Ready made men.

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    1. There are some exceptional cases,I know a lady who has gone thru several heart breaks infact d last young guy went as far as doing introduction,but left with the girl's car,duped d girl's elder brother of some millions,so she decided never to date a single guy again,but a married man,where they both know their boundaries n d rules are clearly state n she's happy.who will blame her.

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    2. @Anon 11:49am- I don't blame her at all! Peace of mind and happiness needed abeg!

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  11. I agree with onyeka kerous ibeanusi

    Bolateethole.blogspot.com

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  12. True talk but our ladies are in constant denial of d above listed facts. Linda take note!

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  13. its all abt money owo n maturity mummie linda take sit lol

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  14. True talk but our ladies are in constant denial of d above listed facts. Linda take note!

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  15. god help us unmarried men and God save the married.

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  16. True talk but our ladies are in constant denial of d above listed facts. Linda take note!

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  17. Issokay,no be today we don know

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  18. @naija girls please your future matters,if you like keep chopping oda women fruit.Some day oda young ladies wld do same thing to you,no matter how good or changed u are.its tit4tat

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  19. Seems the writer is a learner
    we all know why single girls go for married men (MONEY)


    bookiegold

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  20. True. I agree with her reasons.

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  21. Yea. So true..let me use dabota laws on as an example..she could afford mist of the things money can buy being married to an old man who can father her without him giving negative answers to her demands, cos he wouldn't want to let his beautiful model wife stranded in need of material assets cos doing so might persuade her loom elsewhere where those same demand a could come chasing her with just a night stand from his gold digger friends loitering around his marriage expecting a break up..and the freedom. Of association she gets and freedom of cruise she gets touring Around the world on an all expense paid trip is another privilege amongst many she enjoys marrying a billionaire old nigga... so it's just life and marriage made easy without a.young man who would spank you her wenever she goes wrong or who would physically fist on her with punches should she neglect his house etiquette..so our ladies are up for a stressless and wealthy marriage lifestyle

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    Replies
    1. Using dabota lawson as an example was not necessary.

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  22. It no more news, next pls

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  23. guy flush. anybody wen dey date person husband or boyfriend na runs girl

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  24. It's all about greed and avarice. Short & simple.

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  25. Alright... It's even a trend now. We care less. @Bonario Nnags should take a cue from this and stop getting heart broken. :)

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  26. And I wonder if this men are stupid.

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  27. Dear that's true but that is also the reason why we have so many spinsters today, cos they have wasted their youth in chasing after shadows instead of substance.

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  28. It's not fun dating a married man joor, someone else's propriety.

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  29. So in a layman's term MONEY is the motivation behind single girls dating married men? We knew that already!!

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  30. stupid post.and u re still lukin up and down for young energetic guy to fuck ur ass. ashhole

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  31. This isn't true. I'm with a married man and I can say it's not about the money. It's about the love and chemistry we have for each other. Money is not a factor for me. I'm in my own field making my own money. Life just has a way of doing certain things.

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    Replies
    1. If u reflect inwardly, u'd find our ur a sad person.

      Quit lying to yourself and trace ur way back to having value for yourself

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    2. Hahaha.karma is coming for you.Mrs professional. sorry by u are still a prostitute. high class one sha.#Gbokogboko#

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  32. This isn't true. I'm with a married man and I can say it's not about the money. It's about the love and chemistry we have for each other. Money is not a factor for me. I'm in my own field making my own money. Life just has a way of doing certain things.

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  33. Don't support the notion, what's bad is bad,that young girl will become old someday, let's see how she feels when younger girls come chasing after her man, and only lazy ass girls go for married men and the selfish working class ones too do that,u shud build,motive and make a man outta ur man no matter what u will succeed.

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    1. Well said! It's these same girls that will never have peace in their homes, because they can't trust their husbands. Knowing what they've done in the past. And their husbands too will definitely date single girls. It's just karma

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  34. I'm " dating" a married man. For me it's just the thrill and the love I have for him now

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  35. Don't agree. Rather I think its because of greed and unnecessary competition.

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  36. still not enough reason to gallivant with a married man,it makes no sence

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  37. The Lord is your strength bcos you sound so empty.

    Nick

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  38. U try joor
    Do u listen to yourself?
    U sound like a whore, & no responsible man will settle for that. No man can control u & u want a man SMH

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  39. WHATEVER REASONS BEHIND IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE...

    WHAT IS WRONG IS WRONG!!!

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  40. Why do u want a ready made man when you're not even ready made....hustle & make money like linda if you want man to respect & adore you. Stop depending





    #Commenting thru Glo 4G LTE

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  41. Linda. Am not in support of single girl dating married men. Infact I hate it. Am single and majority of the men that approach me are married and they always swear how they regret not meeting me before they took their vow. So I wonder who is to be blamed?. I still don't agree to them sha. But it makes me wonder is anything wrong with me?. Don't forget am #selfmade. Still single
    .

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  42. There is spirit of Lesbianism in every female (girl, lady or woman). Unknown to most females, this subconscious spirit of Lesbianism make a fellow female an object of attraction. Which is why females bond together better than males. A married man by definition has been living with a woman for sometime. Consequently the female essence has permeated his aura than that of a bachelor. Unlike the bachelor, the married man oozes out subtle female essence of breast milk, viginal juice etc that titilate the lesbian spirit in the girl and lures her away from the bachelor to the married man.

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    1. OMG u r such an idiot.

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    2. What's dis one saying? Rubbish

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    3. Lmao! U'r hilarious! Like are u serious?? What are u on about??! Hahahahaaa

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  43. Sooooo on point...bt...jst a pity though...

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  44. I don't know abt dat... Be it financial freedom or watever... I always wonder y some gals in deir ryt senses would go after married men... Like seriously, hw do u even feel wen u guys are being intimate with each other, knowing fully well that he has a wife and kids at home... Thank God 4 my life oooo... Whatever happened to Working Hard Enough to make ur Own Cash, and Spending on Urself.... Girls are d Reason y Men wld always tink dat We only belong in d Kitchen.. #BS

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  45. Not just for money but no emotions and probably no heart break.
    Unlike most guys who devour girls like prey without commitment.

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  46. I feel no pity or remorse when they get doused in acid, why do such a thing? As a guy I hate husband snatchers.

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  47. Those who have eyes and brain will take cognizance of one or two valid points and ensure their girlfriends don't run off with a married man.

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  48. Dats absolutely true on what u said hmm #relationship and there wahal#

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  49. Notin is bad in datin a married man most especially if he gat all wat u want. I'm a single lady I hav my guy and I hav one married handsome rich and carring man who loves me and can do anyrtin for me just to see me happy. He can't even do without me. And I love him cos his also good in bed... Omotoshan.

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  50. Notin is bad in datin a married man most especially if he gat all wat u want. I'm a single lady I hav my guy and I hav one married handsome rich and carring man who loves me and can do anyrtin for me just to see me happy. He can't even do without me. And I love him cos his also good in bed... Omotoshan.

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  51. Notin is bad in datin a married man most especially if he gat all wat u want. I'm a single lady I hav my guy and I hav one married handsome rich and carring man who loves me and can do anyrtin for me just to see me happy. He can't even do without me. And I love him cos his also good in bed... Omotoshan.

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    Replies
    1. Ole so shall another girl do to you when u get married

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  52. what is wrong is wrong there is no need to justify a sin. no reason makes it ok. and there should not be a reason for that in the 1st place

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  53. all 4 d money oo money oo *iniyanyavoice mtchewww

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  54. Oga! Na long Throat b d main. Reason!!

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  55. Sm ladies are jus useless without thinking of it twice. Mtchewwwwww!!!

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  56. Lmao...Thank God I don't need a married man...I can't think of wrecking somebody's home..What I'd he now falls in love with you and wants to leave his family for you?...besides what goes around comes around..someone will sleep with your husband...and if you have daughters in the future...someone may also sleep with their husbands because of the selfish seed of greed you sowed

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  57. U r jst a big fool who doesn't know what life is all about, I'm sure u r one of those runs girls just after yahoo boys n aristos. So u wud get ur ex bf 2 impregnate u n move on with your life without thinking about d future of d child? So wen she grows up she wud jst end up like u! U r jst senseless. U can't b a gud mother. As a girl u av 2 be smart in ur relationship and b prayerful.

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  58. Yeah yeah yeah and yeah again oga its true but i was expecting something else nau tis 1 i knew even b4 u started writing this article.....

    Its all about the benjamin

    "U GOONO"

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  59. a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
    .
    Only in Nigeria things like this happen.....
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

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  60. hmmm!money and material things that they get from the relationship is not enough for some of this ladies, some of them home breaker.

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  61. this is really good

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  62. This is so true. A friend told me about how a HR Training Manager at Sheraton, Nelly Oboh, was desperately chasing after a man who was still married to two women. She was well aware and kept pushing the man to marry her. smh. Girls are whores giving other girls bad names. Her friend Deborah who's sheraton GM's secretary spilled the beans.

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  63. No worry u go lead very well for ur papa house, hope ur mom dey too gather all of them n lead, pride goes b4 a fall

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  64. As for me it's not just d money, Maturity is number 1, 90percent of this younger dudes r not matured!!!
    #team married men#

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  65. from a female`s perspective; i think its their LEVEL OF MATURITY.......

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  66. So na why my gf of almost 5 years leave me bcus of iphone na wa o, i cant imagine my self spending money am supposed to use to invest on a gal. Those married men u gals are running after also invested at some stage in there life, cus if they didnt they wouldnt have d extra change now to throw at u lazy gals. A MAN IS NOT A FINNANCIAL PLAN LADIES

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  67. Very true. **Ogelucy.

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  68. good points.. does not make it right though

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  69. Ok hate me,am inlove with a married dude simply bcos he's fun all the way and he does the cooking,did I tell you guys that he understands my body? Yea he does. In nutshell its not all about the money cos am working and making my own money..its just dat most guyz are married to the wrong rib.

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    Replies
    1. May u also marry a wrong rib IJN....useless whore

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    2. IF u ever get married, your husband is definitely gonna be fucking someone else

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  70. sometimes GREEDINESS, sometimes LOVE and sometimes SECURITY PURPOSES.... IT IS WELL..LOL

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  71. I really do not blame ladies dat date married men.....i believe everyone has a reason for their actions....everyone knows what makes dem happy but people do think some ladies do it cos of money....but not all of dem cos wat about cases of rich and working class ladies dat do it...dey do it cos dese men care for dem exactly d way dey want.... am not saying its a good thing to do but for dem to make decisions to do it,dey must av bin thru some sort of heartbreak or so

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  72. And the young guys these days are not looking for successful girls or a girl with a rich father? Please don't let anyone make you feel guilty for looking for a man that can take care of you both emotionally and financially, it's his responsibility and dont believe for a second that you can't find a single man who can do this.

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  73. Somehow true. But not true wen it comes 2 girls dt re possessed. #oneandonlynwa@gmail.com#

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  74. I am a Young married man and the reason above are well said..Many single ladies don't even get bothered when you told them u are married..Particularly to me I don't even try to hide it, bcos all what they wanted is the money for the fun.
    Some most beautiful ladies who i cant talk to while am single, they tend to attend to me more when am married and give me the pleasure just for the money involved and they understand that no serious commitment as the relationship is on contract...
    In as much as i enjoyed it... It is worst with our single ladies here in Nigeria.

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    Replies
    1. Bros! Am sure these ladies that "tend to attend to you now" all look like this your grammar. Chai! there is God ooooo in all these "bullets" you are releasing. LMAOOO...

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  75. Very well said. I fully agree

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  76. Well that's just the point ..................

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  77. Hmmm same old story

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  78. Its simply long throat...greed..

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  79. All about the money right? Call a spade a spade: Most Nigerian ladies are now full fledged PROSTITUTES!!!

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  80. None of d above,depends on wot u wnt...

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  81. She has just said the important aspect, what about the nagative implications?

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  82. She has just said the important aspect, what about the nagative implications?

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  83. She has just said the important aspect, what about the nagative implications?

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  84. she has only said the importance aspect of it, what about the nagative implications?

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  85. Its all cuz of longer throat!.. That's all

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  86. I prefer a girl that is an Aristo/Olosho/Ashawo than a girl who go after married men. I hope those girls knows what an African woman can do to a girl like that when they get to know her identity or lay their hands on her. The white is to kill or disfigure you but the blacks knows black magic and such things brings up the topic of going in search of such help and not to kill you but to make you miserable for the rest of your life.
    myhood50@yahoo.com

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  87. Speak up ladles, true or false?

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  88. Hehehe, i love ur style jor.. But try and listen to yourself again cos it looks like you are living in a fools paradise. When younger ladies fail to follow the wisdom of the elders who lived before them , this is how they sound,deluded.They are always wise in their own eyes.Its obvious you are self centred and are neither thinking of the future of the child you hope to have nor that of the ex responsible boyfriends wife or girlfriend. People like you end up giving vagabond kids to the society and its only a matter of time before you realise that you lived a fools life all along.

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  89. rick1dude@yahoo.com

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  90. "As you lay your bed, so you will lie on it". Sleep with a married man today and someone else will do same with yours tomorrow, that is if at all you are lucky to have one.

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  91. Well, I am dating a married man. I am not proud of it and Neva imagined I will do such in dis lyf. But tins turned out very bad for my family. I prayed and prayed for a husband and it was like my prayers wr not bin answered. I got admission, no money for fees or clearance. D single guys will com in d name of marriage, and will go later, some hv money, are working but cnt even give u money. All u hear is no money no money but dey kip buyin new tins fr deirselves.. I had no option dan to say yes to d married man. Wat I had @ d bck of my mind was dat is is sin in d site of God. No big sin n no small sin. So since I tell little lies, sleep wit single men, and sometimes do certain tins dat are nt right, I shld as well help myself and date a married man afterall, it's one punishment for all. Am not proud of it but I hope God brings me a husband dat will save me. Joey.

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  92. Some ladies dat date married men do it not to scatter his hme, but for companionship. What do u expect a single lady, divorced, separated, or widowed to do. For such it Is not always easy to get single guys and all some of thèse ladies r looking for us a friend. Every woman needs a man. Some married women today Will date married men if their status change tomoro. Women do not be toi judgemental. It Is not east to be alone in This our society.

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  93. Truth be told my brother. God bless you.

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  94. The single guy I've been devoted to, still have affairs and flirts around on social media. Yet, he would do anything to keep me.
    Men are polygamous in nature. Only those who fear God can be faithful.

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  95. This writer is a loose woman. RUBBISH! Classy babes don't sleep with married men. Tomorrow this whores will get married and expect their husbands to be faithful abi??

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  96. Finally d BIGGEST FOOL on earth is found on Linda's blog! ode pls listen to urself pervert osHi I pity d "ex" wey go even impregnate u

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  97. That is very good? Both of u are quantumly crazy that is mad beyond what any mortal can comprehend

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  98. THE WRITER DIDNT THINK MUCH BEFORE PUTTING HIS THOUGHTS DOWN. SOO SO WRITTEN IN AN UNINFORMED MANNER.
    WHAT OF THE GIRLS THAT DATE A MAN TO HOOK HIM AND EVENTUALLY MARRY THE MAN? HAS HE FORGOTTEN THAT A LOT OF GIRLS GET EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO THE MARRIED MAN IN THE LONG RUN. HE DIDNT DISCUSS THESE PARTS WELL AT ALL.

    IT IS NOTONLY FOR MONEY. HIS WRITE UP I SAY AGAIN IS POOR. SOME GIRLS ARE JUST WAYWARD AND LOOSEAND MAY NOT EVEN BE COLLECTING MONEY FROM THE MARRIED MAN LIKE THAT. SOME HAVE ABOUTTHREE MARRIED MEN AT THE SAME TIME.

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  99. The married men treat the girls much better than the single guys. There wives have trained them in how are woman want to be treated. when the try what they have learnt on a single girl he blows her mind.

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  100. Na wa o! God save us all. Nobody holy pass. Both married and single ladies screw around so all u married ladies here cursing as well as the "holy nwejes" pls hold ur peace. Judge noone. At the end of the day, each will face his creator. Meanwhile Linda we need topics such as this to learn from. Situations such as this are rampant in Abuja

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  101. There was no need insulting and judging her! That's her opinion and moreover no one knows what she's been through in her past relationships hence that mindset! Let her be!

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  102. It's not only single girls/women that date married men. There are a lot of married women out there dating married men too. I'm no one to judge anyone pls.

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  103. You can't really blames the single girls if u look at the points mentioned above.

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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the comment writers alone and does not reflect or represent the views of Linda Ikeji.

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