Dear LIB readers: My husband thinks I lied about being a virgin because I didn't bleed the first time
From a female LIB reader
I'm a young girl of 28 years. I'm married to a lovely husband that loves me so
much but my problem is this. I married my hubby as a virgin but the first
time we made love, he was expecting to see blood which he didn't and
since then he has been accusing me of telling him lies about being a
virgin.
I asked few of my friends and they told me that yes
that blood is suppose to be a proof to that. I became more confused as I
know deep down in me that am saying the truth. I confided in my mother
and she told me the story of my life. My mum said that when I was 4years
old that our tenant called me into his room to come and take toys. The
next thing she saw when I came out from the man's room was blood coming
out from my vagina.
Immediately she called my father and they went to
meet the man and lo and behold he had ran away. My problem now is should I
explain to my hubby all this? Will he still love me? My fellow LIB please I
need ur advise on this.
Hmmmm dear poster,inform ur hubby n let ur mother be dere to xplain tins to him.am sure he wud undastnd..its nt a dificult mata.cox if u dnt,ur hubby wud neva trust u again
That's why I don't like Virgin's to avoid Issue's like this... . . . .Disclaimer:: Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice. It Is Rain That Grows Flowers, Not Thunder..
Serious gobe but if he truly love you as you claim den he should understand when you tell him. But be sure he is madly in luv with you b4 telling him. Linda take note!
After fcuking all the guys in ur area, u are here claiming virgin, my friend tell him hit truth, bitchy wife......and nobody should tell me shit about some ladies have no hymen and the likes......
After fcuking all the guys in ur area, u are here claiming virgin, my friend tell him hit truth, bitchy wife......and nobody should tell me shit about some ladies have no hymen and the likes......
Firstly it is not a MUST yhou bleed when disvirgined. Secondly you know you never had sex willingly with anyone and didnt know of this strange happening until now your mum told you. My advise do not tell your husband .......LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE . You never really had sex with anyone knowingly so jus forget it.
Take your husband to your parent, they will be the best to explain to him and i believe he will understand and believe you if he hears it form them...... Best of Luck!!!
Yes u have to explain to him the reason u didn't bleed the first time, he should even pity you sef. And your mother should have told u sooner. Pele dear.
Ehya. Explain to him. If he TRUELY loves you, he'll understand cos I wanna believe he didn't marry you cos of virginity plus which guy puts his mind on virginity these days?? Is he a virgin himself??
Why cant't you explain? What kind of stupid statement/question is that? You were 4! You were raped as a child. Not your fault and if he wants to blame you or be mad at you for something that you had no control over, then he must be a fool. Just tell him and move on with your life. This is what i don't like about marriage, people deceiving and lying to each other over insignificant and inconsequential matters.
After fcuking all the guys in ur area, u are here claiming virgin, my friend tell him the truth, bitchy wife......and nobody should tell me shit about some ladies have no hymen and the likes......LINDA PLEASE MARRY ME
Communication is vital here but your hubby should take it easy jor.Is he goin to cook soup with your virginity? I am sure u will be very tight down there when u guys did it except otherwise.Tell him your findings if he truely loves you that should calm him down.But I truely see no big deal in it.Let him continue to love u abeg.
am sorry but not all virgins bleed.am also a case of that.please dont ask people around,seek the assistance of a doctor.and it also depends on d way u both started.if u did more of foreplay,den it is possible dats the reason
Wat a painful atmospher. But dear I will like to tell u to tell ur mum to talk to ur hubby let her be the one to tell him nd also made it knw to him dat u neva knew up until dis. Den wait nd see his reaction after dat.
Young lady u got opened at age 4 and u must av married in Ur twenties, dey still wud av been blood...cos it closes wen not penetrated for a very long time...maybe an accident also broke it d second time...heard a case of an accident breaking a girl's V...
explain to him dou the best will be for your parents to tell it themselves to him and his family giving the reasons they disclosed from you...trust is fundamental in a relationship #all_is_well . . . go to eclothes.com.ng for trending male and female clothes, shoes and accessories. fashion...shopping just got easier
There r stories in our life better dead, buried and forgetten.
"Things dat u don't knw never hurt u..." Hope dis adage is not new to u?
Pls don't bother if u want to maintain d trust in ur marriage. If I were him, when u tell me I wil feel dis is number two reason y I should never trust u.
B wise and keep ur home. Do not listen to foolish advice of u telling him. Dat wil b foolish as far as am concern.
ur mum told u all dis ? still u kept deceiving urself dat u are a virgin? why didn't u tell ur husband wat u went thru as a kid? He wont believe u, me too I wont..U hav made a big mistake..In other news I'm back to dis horrible country Nigeria.................................#KingOfKings #6God
There r stories in our life better dead, buried and forgetten.
"Things dat u don't knw never hurt u..." Hope dis adage is not new to u?
Pls don't bother if u want to maintain d trust in ur marriage. If I were him, when u tell me I wil feel dis is number two reason y I should never trust u.
B wise and keep ur home. Do not listen to foolish advice of u telling him. Dat wil b foolish as far as am concern.
the fault is from ur parents but Diaz no need crying over spilt milk.all u need do is to open up to ur husband and explain to him DAT and if he really loves u,he will understand
Yeah is very possible u lie! Was once a victim of dis same shit... She lie dat she broke it in a tennis coat bt latter fount out dat it was all a lie... Stupid gals dis days r fun of dis, wallahi....don't knw bout ur own case though bt gals r fun of dis kind of shit dis days, u see....
If you guys love each other and very close,explain to him nwww.he should know everytin abt you.its not ur fault you were raped.@linda is my role model!
MR EDDY said this harmattan is sponsored by MTN. It is everywhere u go.
To start with. Was your husband a Virgin? If no, he should go and take some chilling pills. But if yes. Then explain things to him. After all ur mom n dad are gonna back up ur story. ^ ^ ^™THAT EDO BOY.COM~wishes u happy new year.
You're still asking people if you should tell someone you're 'Married' to? Or you and your husband should keep it as a secrete and not tell other people....smh! Do people even know the meaning of husband & wife?
Not every virgin sees blood.....sometyms d hymen breaks n it's a whitish substance that comes out...y'all should start being enlightened on dis things. blood ko
id rather you tell him the truth about what your mum told you cos at the long run, its better he sees you as his truthful wife than a liar and you would still carry the burden alone.
Keep that gist to ur self! No need telling ur hubby he wld think it was more lies fabricated to persuade him u were a virgin. When I got disvirgined blood didn't come out. It is not all cases that the woman would bleed. The hymen may have been torn during some vigorous exercise or sports it is no big deal. Relax and enjoy your marriage, does your husband loves you unconditionally or because you were a virgin? Was he a virgin when u got married? Some men marry ex prostitutes who are now godly and they live happily why so much importance to just hymen?
Yeah is very possible u lie! Was once a victim of dis same shit... She lie dat she broke it in a tennis coat bt latter fount out dat it was all a lie... Stupid gals dis days r fun of dis, wallahi....don't knw bout ur own case though bt gals r fun of dis kind of shit dis days, u see....
You are not a young woman..you are 18yrs, well..just stick to your story..tell them you rode a crazy horse,alot of Girls loose their virginity to horse ride..put the blame on the crazy horse
Yeah is very possible u lie! Was once a victim of dis same shit... She lie dat she broke it in a tennis coat bt latter fount out dat it was all a lie... Stupid gals dis days r fun of dis, wallahi....don't knw bout ur own case though bt gals r fun of dis kind of shit dis days, u see....
Indeed its hard to believe buh since u re sure of wat u re sayin.xplain to him d exact thn with ur mother as reference.aftrall ur case is a similar thn to one Nigerian movie titled My Dove.its well dear.. #God bless#
Which means the last time u had sex before ur marriage was at age 4... even at that u re still suppose to bleed o.. what u re experiencing need medical explanation.... That is my humble opinion from Anonymous
Yeah is very possible u lie! Was once a victim of dis same shit... She lie dat she broke it in a tennis coat bt latter fount out dat it was all a lie... Stupid gals dis days r fun of dis, wallahi....don't knw bout ur own case though bt gals r fun of dis kind of shit dis days, u see....
I think you should still explain to him. You didn't know. It's not your fault. To you, you spoke the truth. Your mum should have told you long before now. Arrange a meeting with your parents and let them tell him what happened and why they didn't tell you. Most importantly, pray! It's well. The heart of man... 4 pete's sake a four year old girl! kai!
Geez! So touching. Yes you have to tell your hubby so he doesn't see you as been unfaithful and a liar. You didn't know about the rape so it isn't your fault. Goodluck dear
Trust is a fundamental factor in every relationship, if your hubby feels the virginity is a big deal, tell him the truth just this way and you stress the fact that you also just got to know. God help your marriage and please don't think of lying to him. It will be worse when the truth finally comes out.
Y DID IT TAKE YOUR MUM 28YRS TO TELL YOU DIS? ALL THE SAME YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE FROM YOUR HUBBY THAN TO TELL HIM WHAT YOU WERE TOLD .........OR BETTER STILL LET YOUR PARENTS DO THE TELLING IF THAT WILL CONVINCE HIM! GOODLUCK
Indeed its hard to believe buh since u re sure of wat u re sayin.xplain to him d exact thn with ur mother as reference.aftrall ur case is a similar thn to one Nigerian movie titled My Dove.its well dear.. #God bless#
Ghen ghen trouble of life....I heard not all virgins bleed when the flower is broken...don't know how true that is but I believe it.....didn't the hubby notice the tightness of that area when he was penetrating? Rubbish!! Why marry someone because she's a virgin...him self is he a virgin? Nonsense ¤ ¤¤¤GUTS OVER FEAR¤¤¤ ¤ ¤¤¤QUEENMAYA¤¤¤
You should have told him αℓℓ that. Little things wreck marriages/relationships. That blood should be a proof. Αℓℓ the same you can call your mom to help you tell him. And ofcourse tell him that you get traumatised whenever you remember that. Good luck!
Since he is already doubting u, thinking u lied to him u were a vargin b4 u got married then there is need for u to also tell him the story ur mum told you. In doing so it might cushion his mind.
I do not see why he will not love you again. The truth is that you are actually a virgin since no man has touched you with your consent. The incident narrated by your mum was not your fault and you were not privy to it. In fact your mum should come over and explain that to your hubby herself.
Well now you know the story of your life, i advice you tell your husband the truth, and ask for forgiveness, i believe he is going to forgive you. But if he still feels that you are still lying, call your parents to explain things to him.
There are many ladies that blood will not be the proof. Not all ladies bleed. Am writing from experience except from the incident your mum told you about.
Eyaaaa...... Your Mum should have told u this before na!!...chai!.. ngwa explain 2 ur Hubby zi now!! God Help You!! #AnotherDayAnotherStory# nnkan nbe!
I don't know you dearie but I believe you. Talk to your husband about what your Mom told you. He already loves you right? He's just not certain if you told him the truth& that's understandable but I guess he'd believe what your mouth told. Just take a deep breath ok? Cheers.
Part two of my comment: at 28, you're NOT a young girl; you're a young woman. You stopped being a girl somewhere between when you were 18 - 21 years old.
What kind of blood was he expecting? A river? Some people don't bleed. 2ndly why should this change his love for you,is he a virgin himself? Selfish man. You can tell him the story but asides that goat of a neighbour molesting you, you kept ur self till marriage. Your husband should appreciate that
I don't know you dearie but I believe you. Talk to your husband about what your Mom told you. He already loves you right? He's just not certain if you told him the truth& that's understandable but I guess he'd believe what your mouth told. Just take a deep breath ok? Cheers.
quit unfortunate incident. But i guess your mum should do the wrong. Had it been you have been informed about your past it would have been so easy for you to explain to your man right from inception and which i believe a reasonable man should still stick by you for saying the truth. In a nut shell, your mum should invite the man and do the wrong.
Tahhhhhh..don't even try explaining shit...Nd hu told u DT every virgin must c blood.?do u even know y blood comes out from a virgin's vagina?..its by percentage ..78% may c blood Nd 28% may not c blood...just stick to d fact dt Ure a virgin Nd I biliv It must b very tight Nd painful .wen he was doing it.Bcos its bin long na(since u wr 4)..some may even loss Thr virginity from strenuous exercise or so...@salesco
Well the best thing i would have done if i were in your shoe, will summon courage and tell him all my mother told me.more over the mistake wasn't from you cos u were very young and mother should have told u long ago.
you just have to try, a man that loves u will always love you no matter what.
This is pathetic, and your mum also made a mistake for not telling you your past when you are now a grown up, i think our mother is the most closest to us and we are free to discuss any of our lifetime issue with them, well I will advice the young man to still stay in the marriage coz you are both meant for love........
Mtchhew! See story o, wen ur hubby penetrated you didt he notice, blood is no silly proof. Of virginity smtin that was done four yrs ago is nt enuf proof thaat u ain't still a. Virgin cos d Virginia must have contracted and seal kindda even tho there's no blood, it will still be hard to penetrate as that of a virgin....some men sef
Interesting! I actually blame her mom for keeping the secrets from her daughter, if the mom had told her, she would have worked on her mind and get over it while growing up. The daughter would have also explained to the man before marriage if she had known. So i ll suggest she tells her mom to call the couple and speak with them together, saving her daughter by telling the man the whole story.
Whao!!! Am sori for dat, you can go ahead n explain to him den as rgds to bin a virgin n u didn't see blood it happens as well if u are smone dat does sport dou I don't understand the theory behind it BT a medical person shld. Love is a thing of the heart not ........
Tell ur mum to do the xplanation because u didn't know about it all the while, u were a kid den and didn't knw wat happend. If u knw ow to tell him dat he will understand, den dats much better!
I am becomin sick of this Fuckery of complains by retards on LIB. I ve got to cure my addiction to this fuckin blog. Fuck the DUDE. Virgin or no virgin, pussy na pussy.
Awww, Just find a way to make him believe you, if he loves you, he will believe you especially if you seldom lie to him...your mum didnt do good by hiding that fact from you though.
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I don't think that was enough to break the hymen at aged 4. Not all virgin bleeds. If you had engaged in other fore plays before sex then there is every chance that you wont bleed during penetration. Some form of exercise cause you not to bleed too. So i think you do more research on this before talking to your husband. fashionitazbybuiti.blogspot.com
mgt4all@gmail.com: YES, GO AHEAD AND TELL HIM. HE HAS TO BELIEVE YOU. BE POLITE AND DISCREET. SUCH THINGS DO HAPPEN TO SOME GIRLS. QUIET REGRETTABLE! IT WAS NOT YOUR MAKING.
AGAIN, IF YOUR MAN MARRIED YOU JUST FOR YOUR VIRGINITY, TO ME; HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. IT IS LIKE A MAN WHO MARRIED A GIRL FOR OIL-COMPANY JOB, ETC. IF LOVE IS FOR BENEFITS WITHOUT SHARING GRIEVES IT IS NO LOVE.
IS HE A VIRGIN? IS ANYTHING WRONG IF A GIRL MARRIES A VIRGIN HUSBAND?
Seriously swt hrt,just sit him down nd tell. Him everytin,I. Do believe he loved u be4 he married u,so all u need 2 do is tell him everytin nd how it happened.I sincerely believe he will listen 2 you.
Seriously swt hrt,just sit him down nd tell. Him everytin,I. Do believe he loved u be4 he married u,so all u need 2 do is tell him everytin nd how it happened.I sincerely believe he will listen 2 you.
Hmmm my darling dis is soo sad and heartbreaking,but pls dnt let it weigh u down,explain 2 him and let him knw all dat ur mum tld u and tell him 2 confirm frm ur mum am sure he wld understand,and also let him knw dat u never slept with anybody @ll untill u married him,
my dear the best solution is to tell your husband the truth because you were raped and your parents didnt want to hurt you with the truth. But pray first and ask for God's direction before you take the big step.
Hello Lady, I believe you owe your hubby that explanation. You can invite your Mom and let her say what she told you in his presence. She should also let him know that they never told you this until now. If you do not explain to him, he will have trust issues with you. All d best....Mrs. Eunice
I usually don't comment butbut I'm doing so now to disabuse the mindset that you are meant to bleed the first time. For reasons best known to God women are divided into 3 categories; tthose with no hymen, thin hymens and thick hymen. The women without hymens don't bleed at all on their first sexual experience, the ones with thin hymens are pretty much common but make no mistake even a woman with thin hymen may not bleed her first time if she has been involved in very rigorous sporting activities including tree climbing. The last category will most often than not require their hymens to be broken through medical assistance.
Coming to the issue you have, nothing beats coming out with the truth. The fact still remains that to the best of your knowledge, you kept yourself. You might just be surprised that that revelation will bring out his empathetic side. All the best!
Aww..what a touchy story. Yes, you should tell your husband what your mum explained to you. He should love you more after you explain that to him If he really loves you.
Explain to ur hubby. Its not ur fault, u were only a baby. If anything, u were greatly wronged as a child. If he truly loves u he will understand. After all, men willingly marry women who are not virgins they ar in love with. Put it all in prayer & keep ya head up.
I hv experienced this before. I was doubted,i asked same question u asked. BT I think u should tell him or hv ur parent explain that to him cos it's not ur fault bt theirs for not telling u such huge secret of ur life
Keep it to yourself, don't tell him. Maintain ur words of being a virgin wen he married u but come to think of it, does being a virgin and not been virgin changed anythg?
Let ur parents tell him the story, dnt tell him urself and if he doesn't believe it n still doesnt treat u like a loving companion, then let him go.... because a marriage is much more than Sexuality, he should love u for who you are and not the Sexuality u brought into the marriage
My story is quite similar....the only difference is that I knew who did what to me. I was between 5 n 6yrs olf, and I lived with my grannies. Our house was like a 'family house'...other flats were occupied by relatives. My uncle used to 'finger' me. I did not tell anyone at home...cos I wasnt sure if he was doing the wrong thing or just playing with me. But I told my husband before we got married...we didnt even have sex before marriage, and my husband was a virgin. So there were no surprises. This uncle is now married, and as karma would have it, he has only girls (I dont pray for the same to happen to them...but i know someone else is praying for that to happen). About 4yrs ago, cousin of ours used to stay with him and his wife...and one day, he raped her (she was 21 at that time). He denied it, and her peeps just took her to the hospital to flush whatever ...just in case.
Enough of my own story, I'll advise you talk to your husband. If he didnt marry you for your virginity, then he would understand and move on....and trust will not be an issue.. If you are scared of him, you can tell your mum to talk to him. But really, he should understand even without your mum interfering. He married you for love , not for the status of your V.
It is well with you. Let's all be careful of neighbors and uncles....
Ok, is it that you and your husband dont communicate? Because I would have told my husband that I was going to talk to my mum about it even before going ahead to do so. Any how, it shouldnt be a big deal telling him now what your mum told you. You both will heal through it together and keep it moving. That is partnership in marriage.
Ok, is it that you and your husband dont communicate? Because I would have told my husband that I was going to talk to my mum about it even before going ahead to do so. Any how, it shouldnt be a big deal telling him now what your mum told you. You both will heal through it together and keep it moving. That is partnership in marriage.
I don't think he should, except if ur mum will do dat. I advice you to take it to God in prayer,cos he is a SOLUTION to all matters.he will surely do it in his own way.and I tell u,u will be surprise
Before I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,
Ma present fiance lost ah virginity via ah ex raping ah.. And believe me she's still da best thing dat has eva happen to me. Loving ones patna superceeds bin a virgin. Tell hm da truth no matta what n let hm follow hs mind. Ur Sincerity ll vindicate U. Goodluck
my dear, weep not. u need to help ur husband to believe you. convince your parents to intervene, as they are the only witness to the issue. they might be able to convince your hubby. it can be difficult for the man though, but nothing is impossible if you apply wisdom and pray for the leading of the Holy Spirit. i wish u d best.
Before I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,
Before I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,
my dear sister if it is what you said, there no reason why you should not tell ur husband. he must know everything for the health of your marriage. it will be very wrong for you not to tell him and maybe when your mother is visiting or u guys are visiting or make him talk to ur mother too. it will help him to understand and trust you more. do it as a favour to urself & ur marriage. May God speak for you as you do and may He hear/listen for ur husband as he listens.
Before I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,
Well, you have two options you can tell him or not tell him.
If you tell him, make sure to back it up with your parents as witnesses, especially if he asks. Show him that you are telling the truth.
If you dont wan to tell him what happened then you might have to endure him looking at you like you aren't to be trusted in the relationship.
Although it doesn't matter if you were a virgin or not, you have to try and understand with him. I believe it is more about feeling lied to than actually if you were a virgin or not.
SO if you ask me I would say you should just go ahead and tell him and get it off your mind. For your own peace of mind and for him.
Before I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,
Before I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,
Your mother shldnt v kept such incidence away 4rm you and just call him and explain to him....You were defile at the age of 4 and you didn't have sex for 24yrs since you got married at age 28 that doesn't make you a virgin....But explain to him
common, it was not your fault the incident happened while a child, as long as your heart is right that you didnt trade your body for any man, your husband will believe you and love you more. except of course he has trust issue. you can involve your mum too if need be.
I dont recommend telling hubby. Whatever you do, stick to your story. He might claim he will understand and all but uhhh no he wont and add to it child raped, omg stick to your story missus. I just wish you didnt have to know what your mother said.
IMO, i didnt see blood either first time i had sex. and yes, i was looking forward to it,and no, i wasnt raped as a child (i hope not)
You said love u so much, it is hard to see a girl of 28 yrs still a virgin today, but if your case is true that u were raped at 4 yrs of age, don't bother to dis the subject further with ur hubby, right now he is not sure whether u are a virgin or not, let him hold on to that confusion for now. your opening up things u just found out will only amount to putting fuel in the already burning fire and dat can crash ur marriage. let the coast to be clear first i.e his head and anger to settle first and try to be a good wife, he will love d more, then in a more relaxed atmosphere discuss what u just found with him. That's my advise, sorry dear for the ugly incident at 4 yrs. Linda pls post my comment
Dnt really knw wat to say...cos I was raped too wen I was small&wen I tell people dey just say story 4 d gods.but if he truly loves u,dat shud be by d way.
VERULE say-u guys hv to find a way to explain to him,by telin d persn u kn he respect so much n also pray to God abt d situation,evrytin is possible wit God. Wish u al d best. "Beautifu is life"""
Its not all virgins dah releases blood, medically speaking. Don't u dare tell ur husband bouh it, it would only make him trust u less. Tell him to go ask a medical doctor and dey wud make it clear to him that not all virgins will discharge blood.
My dear,I feel your pain,ur mother should hv told u all dis story all dis while bt nevertheless,jst try n talk to ur husband,if he luvs u,he will believe u,nd accept u for who u are #fact#sharon
Please accept my condolence for you must be in a terrible pain. However, if your husband reads LIB am sure he knows your story by now.The worst is over
actually blood doesnt always come out. but ur own is another case. confide in him if u must.Do u knw where u can read fantastic stories? hilarious stories about life if u wnt to knw, check this blog out. Life Encounters
Its really painful for some1 Ʊ love to actually not trust Ʊ for somtin Ʊ didn't do bt if I was in ur shoes I will take him to my parents A̶̲̥̅₪D̶̲̥̅ let him hear it straight from dere mouth A̶̲̥̅₪D̶̲̥̅ if he is half d man Ʊ claim he is den he would accept Ʊ back wit open arms bt pls βε̲̣ fast abt it A̶̲̥̅₪D̶̲̥̅ don't let d mistrust eat deep into ur relationship,A̶̲̥̅₪D̶̲̥̅ pls let us know d joyous outcome,ride on wit ur married life darling
Story for de gods**** women and der fake life# u ar not wat u made him believed u wre and u ar expectin him to be happy# whr was ur mom 4fore nw and why did she not tell u* abeg park well
You should tell your hubby all that your mum has told you, it's a story you weren't even aware of so it's not your fault. I don't think he should stop loving you just because you weren't a virgin.
Lol... I can imagine d luk on his face wen he went in!!! As far as u didn't do it 4 gud 24yrs,e suppose clip he tin even if no blood. .2ndly,yes u shld tell him and ur mum shld hv told u earlier
Pssst!! Some guys need to get real man. Why is he making a fuss out of shit issue? Perhaps cos he thought you were a virgin. But he should get over it already. If he was a virgin too then you're fucked... He will sure nag about it for life
You should tell him the truth
ReplyDeleteInteresting...
ReplyDeleteUr case sounds somehow. Ur husband won't even buy that story, but still yet let him know.
ReplyDeleteThis is serious ...pray and Explain to him if he loves u as u claim he will understand buh note...its a large chunk to swallow..
ReplyDeleteExplain to your husband o! If possible, get your mum involved o
ReplyDeletethats a bloody lie, at age four u wld remba such trauma, please say somthin else.
ReplyDeleteBia,madam Virginia wer u carry d blood go?lol
ReplyDeleteMy dear,if it means your mum coming to tell him, save your marriage,gain his trust again.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm.
ReplyDeleteUr case sounds somehow. Ur husband won't even buy that story, but still yet let him know.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm dear poster,inform ur hubby n let ur mother be dere to xplain tins to him.am sure he wud undastnd..its nt a dificult mata.cox if u dnt,ur hubby wud neva trust u again
ReplyDeleteThat's why I don't like Virgin's to avoid Issue's like this...
ReplyDelete.
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.Disclaimer:: Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice. It Is Rain That Grows Flowers, Not Thunder..
Serious gobe but if he truly love you as you claim den he should understand when you tell him. But be sure he is madly in luv with you b4 telling him. Linda take note!
ReplyDeleteWhy do I find this hard to believe
ReplyDeleteAfter fcuking all the guys in ur area, u are here claiming virgin, my friend tell him hit truth, bitchy wife......and nobody should tell me shit about some ladies have no hymen and the likes......
ReplyDeleteof course you should tell your hubby, he is suppose to be your confidant and to avoid any strain in the relationship.
ReplyDeleteWith God on.your side & you being truthful, he will surely will.
ReplyDeleteAfter fcuking all the guys in ur area, u are here claiming virgin, my friend tell him hit truth, bitchy wife......and nobody should tell me shit about some ladies have no hymen and the likes......
ReplyDeleteInvite ur mum and tell her to explain it to him...if he does truly love u he will believe and understand
ReplyDeleteI feel so sorry for u dear, u just av to tell him d truth
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteFirstly it is not a MUST yhou bleed when disvirgined. Secondly you know you never had sex willingly with anyone and didnt know of this strange happening until now your mum told you. My advise do not tell your husband .......LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE . You never really had sex with anyone knowingly so jus forget it.
Take your husband to your parent, they will be the best to explain to him and i believe he will understand and believe you if he hears it form them...... Best of Luck!!!
ReplyDeleteWomen be deceiving men with virginity since 1881. This your story though, sounds cock and bull like.
ReplyDeleteYes u have to explain to him the reason u didn't bleed the first time, he should even pity you sef. And your mother should have told u sooner. Pele dear.
ReplyDeleteEhya. Explain to him. If he TRUELY loves you, he'll understand cos I wanna believe he didn't marry you cos of virginity plus which guy puts his mind on virginity these days?? Is he a virgin himself??
ReplyDeleteWhy cant't you explain? What kind of stupid statement/question is that? You were 4! You were raped as a child. Not your fault and if he wants to blame you or be mad at you for something that you had no control over, then he must be a fool. Just tell him and move on with your life. This is what i don't like about marriage, people deceiving and lying to each other over insignificant and inconsequential matters.
ReplyDeleteAfter fcuking all the guys in ur area, u are here claiming virgin, my friend tell him the truth, bitchy wife......and nobody should tell me shit about some ladies have no hymen and the likes......LINDA PLEASE MARRY ME
ReplyDeleteCommunication is vital here but your hubby should take it easy jor.Is he goin to cook soup with your virginity? I am sure u will be very tight down there when u guys did it except otherwise.Tell him your findings if he truely loves you that should calm him down.But I truely see no big deal in it.Let him continue to love u abeg.
ReplyDeleteam sorry but not all virgins bleed.am also a case of that.please dont ask people around,seek the assistance of a doctor.and it also depends on d way u both started.if u did more of foreplay,den it is possible dats the reason
ReplyDeleteWat a painful atmospher. But dear I will like to tell u to tell ur mum to talk to ur hubby let her be the one to tell him nd also made it knw to him dat u neva knew up until dis. Den wait nd see his reaction after dat.
ReplyDelete*kisses*
Sorry just be ur self stop trying to convince him. No be that one dey take person go heaven
ReplyDeleteStory story!!!
ReplyDeleteYoung lady u got opened at age 4 and u must av married in Ur twenties, dey still wud av been blood...cos it closes wen not penetrated for a very long time...maybe an accident also broke it d second time...heard a case of an accident breaking a girl's V...
ReplyDeleteexplain to him dou the best will be for your parents to tell it themselves to him and his family giving the reasons they disclosed from you...trust is fundamental in a relationship #all_is_well
ReplyDelete.
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go to eclothes.com.ng for trending male and female clothes, shoes and accessories. fashion...shopping just got easier
Pls explain to ur husband,he will understand it wasn't ur fault at all
ReplyDeletePls don't and don't...
ReplyDeleteThere r stories in our life better dead, buried and forgetten.
"Things dat u don't knw never hurt u..."
Hope dis adage is not new to u?
Pls don't bother if u want to maintain d trust in ur marriage. If I were him, when u tell me I wil feel dis is number two reason y I should never trust u.
B wise and keep ur home. Do not listen to foolish advice of u telling him. Dat wil b foolish as far as am concern.
Yes u shd...he WL understand
ReplyDeleteDis story funny ooh. E beta mak ur mum tell ur husband dat story directly
ReplyDeleteur mum told u all dis ? still u kept deceiving urself dat u are a virgin? why didn't u tell ur husband wat u went thru as a kid? He wont believe u, me too I wont..U hav made a big mistake..In other news I'm back to dis horrible country Nigeria.................................#KingOfKings #6God
ReplyDeletePls don't and don't...
ReplyDeleteThere r stories in our life better dead, buried and forgetten.
"Things dat u don't knw never hurt u..."
Hope dis adage is not new to u?
Pls don't bother if u want to maintain d trust in ur marriage. If I were him, when u tell me I wil feel dis is number two reason y I should never trust u.
B wise and keep ur home. Do not listen to foolish advice of u telling him. Dat wil b foolish as far as am concern.
the fault is from ur parents but Diaz no need crying over spilt milk.all u need do is to open up to ur husband and explain to him DAT and if he really loves u,he will understand
ReplyDeleteYeah is very possible u lie! Was once a victim of dis same shit... She lie dat she broke it in a tennis coat bt latter fount out dat it was all a lie... Stupid gals dis days r fun of dis, wallahi....don't knw bout ur own case though bt gals r fun of dis kind of shit dis days, u see....
ReplyDeleteGOOGLE HAS D BEST ANSWER TO THIS
ReplyDeletePls do have a heart to heart talk with your husband by telling him the truth, if he really have a true love he will definitely understand.
ReplyDeleteIf you guys love each other and very close,explain to him nwww.he should know everytin abt you.its not ur fault you were raped.@linda is my role model!
ReplyDeleteMR EDDY said this harmattan is sponsored by MTN. It is everywhere u go.
ReplyDeleteTo start with.
Was your husband a Virgin? If no, he should go and take some chilling pills. But if yes. Then explain things to him. After all ur mom n dad are gonna back up ur story.
^
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^™THAT EDO BOY.COM~wishes u happy new year.
You're still asking people if you should tell someone you're 'Married' to? Or you and your husband should keep it as a secrete and not tell other people....smh! Do people even know the meaning of husband & wife?
ReplyDeleteIf he really loves u he will take u for ur words.
ReplyDeleteNot every virgin sees blood.....sometyms d hymen breaks n it's a whitish substance that comes out...y'all should start being enlightened on dis things. blood ko
ReplyDeleteid rather you tell him the truth about what your mum told you cos at the long run, its better he sees you as his truthful wife than a liar and you would still carry the burden alone.
ReplyDeleteIt aint ur fault, jst let him knw
ReplyDeleteKeep that gist to ur self! No need telling ur hubby he wld think it was more lies fabricated to persuade him u were a virgin. When I got disvirgined blood didn't come out. It is not all cases that the woman would bleed. The hymen may have been torn during some vigorous exercise or sports it is no big deal. Relax and enjoy your marriage, does your husband loves you unconditionally or because you were a virgin? Was he a virgin when u got married? Some men marry ex prostitutes who are now godly and they live happily why so much importance to just hymen?
ReplyDeleteYeah is very possible u lie! Was once a victim of dis same shit... She lie dat she broke it in a tennis coat bt latter fount out dat it was all a lie... Stupid gals dis days r fun of dis, wallahi....don't knw bout ur own case though bt gals r fun of dis kind of shit dis days, u see....
ReplyDeleteSo uncle...you self dey find brand new toto in 2015? Your body is not ok...mtcheeww...is he a virgin too?
ReplyDeleteYou are not a young woman..you are 18yrs, well..just stick to your story..tell them you rode a crazy horse,alot of Girls loose their virginity to horse ride..put the blame on the crazy horse
ReplyDeleteYeah is very possible u lie! Was once a victim of dis same shit... She lie dat she broke it in a tennis coat bt latter fount out dat it was all a lie... Stupid gals dis days r fun of dis, wallahi....don't knw bout ur own case though bt gals r fun of dis kind of shit dis days, u see....
ReplyDeleteIndeed its hard to believe buh since u re sure of wat u re sayin.xplain to him d exact thn with ur mother as reference.aftrall ur case is a similar thn to one Nigerian movie titled My Dove.its well dear.. #God bless#
ReplyDeleteExplain to him
ReplyDelete#Commenting thru Glo 4G LTE
Which means the last time u had sex before ur marriage was at age 4... even at that u re still suppose to bleed o.. what u re experiencing need medical explanation.... That is my humble opinion from Anonymous
ReplyDeleteYeah is very possible u lie! Was once a victim of dis same shit... She lie dat she broke it in a tennis coat bt latter fount out dat it was all a lie... Stupid gals dis days r fun of dis, wallahi....don't knw bout ur own case though bt gals r fun of dis kind of shit dis days, u see....
ReplyDeleteExplain to him fast, and if need be, invite ur mom to talk tins over with him. I'm sure he will understand &continue to love you. Best of luck.
ReplyDelete@Sophia Stephen
I think you should still explain to him. You didn't know. It's not your fault. To you, you spoke the truth. Your mum should have told you long before now. Arrange a meeting with your parents and let them tell him what happened and why they didn't tell you. Most importantly, pray! It's well.
ReplyDeleteThe heart of man... 4 pete's sake a four year old girl! kai!
Oh that is serious, but I think u shld tell him.
ReplyDeleteGeez! So touching. Yes you have to tell your hubby so he doesn't see you as been unfaithful and a liar. You didn't know about the rape so it isn't your fault. Goodluck dear
ReplyDeleteTrust is a fundamental factor in every relationship, if your hubby feels the virginity is a big deal, tell him the truth just this way and you stress the fact that you also just got to know. God help your marriage and please don't think of lying to him. It will be worse when the truth finally comes out.
ReplyDeleteY DID IT TAKE YOUR MUM 28YRS TO TELL YOU DIS? ALL THE SAME YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE FROM YOUR HUBBY THAN TO TELL HIM WHAT YOU WERE TOLD .........OR BETTER STILL LET YOUR PARENTS DO THE TELLING IF THAT WILL CONVINCE HIM!
ReplyDeleteGOODLUCK
Indeed its hard to believe buh since u re sure of wat u re sayin.xplain to him d exact thn with ur mother as reference.aftrall ur case is a similar thn to one Nigerian movie titled My Dove.its well dear.. #God bless#
ReplyDeleteSorry o..... but ur husband is a bush man where is it written that a virgin must bleed on her 1st day
ReplyDeleteWhat's the essence of being a virgin?ask ur husband if he is a virgin!ur story is for the gods #21st century men don't think like that.
ReplyDeleteGEJ till 2019
!! BIG BROTHER SAYS SO !!
Hmmmmm...well guess u ave to come open with hubby!
ReplyDeleteGhen ghen trouble of life....I heard not all virgins bleed when the flower is broken...don't know how true that is but I believe it.....didn't the hubby notice the tightness of that area when he was penetrating? Rubbish!! Why marry someone because she's a virgin...him self is he a virgin? Nonsense
ReplyDelete¤
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¤¤¤QUEENMAYA¤¤¤
Tell your husband the story, if possible, get your father to talk to him about it, man to man or may be your mother if she can handle it.
ReplyDeleteHmm I think you should tell him d truth
ReplyDeleteYou should have told him αℓℓ that. Little things wreck marriages/relationships. That blood should be a proof. Αℓℓ the same you can call your mom to help you tell him. And ofcourse tell him that you get traumatised whenever you remember that. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteSince he is already doubting u, thinking u lied to him u were a vargin b4 u got married then there is need for u to also tell him the story ur mum told you. In doing so it might cushion his mind.
ReplyDeleteI do not see why he will not love you again. The truth is that you are actually a virgin since no man has touched you with your consent. The incident narrated by your mum was not your fault and you were not privy to it. In fact your mum should come over and explain that to your hubby herself.
ReplyDeleteWell now you know the story of your life, i advice you tell your husband the truth, and ask for forgiveness, i believe he is going to forgive you. But if he still feels that you are still lying, call your parents to explain things to him.
ReplyDeleteLet ur mum talk to him and let him know that u didn't know about it too beside my first time no blood body is different
ReplyDeleteThere are many ladies that blood will not be the proof. Not all ladies bleed. Am writing from experience except from the incident your mum told you about.
ReplyDeleteYou should take him to your mother and she would explain everything to him
ReplyDeleteEyaaaa...... Your Mum should have told u this before na!!...chai!.. ngwa explain 2 ur Hubby zi now!! God Help You!! #AnotherDayAnotherStory# nnkan nbe!
ReplyDeleteYes, u need to tell ur husband. If possible with ur both parents on seat.
ReplyDeleteI don't know you dearie but I believe you. Talk to your husband about what your Mom told you. He already loves you right? He's just not certain if you told him the truth& that's understandable but I guess he'd believe what your mouth told. Just take a deep breath ok? Cheers.
ReplyDeletePart two of my comment: at 28, you're NOT a young girl; you're a young woman. You stopped being a girl somewhere between when you were 18 - 21 years old.
ReplyDeleteThis is a serious case, I tink if d man truly loves u as uve said he will listen to u and understand u
ReplyDeletetell him or better still let your parent sit him down and tell him...
ReplyDeleteThis is all your parent's fault as they ought to ve told you b4 nw. They should be the one to tell u husband.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of blood was he expecting? A river? Some people don't bleed. 2ndly why should this change his love for you,is he a virgin himself? Selfish man. You can tell him the story but asides that goat of a neighbour molesting you, you kept ur self till marriage. Your husband should appreciate that
ReplyDeletedont. it will strain your relationshp futher
ReplyDelete...sorry about what happened to you. By the way, did your husband marry you for love or for virginity?
ReplyDeleteYou can tell your husband what you just learned from you mum and if he loves you, he will understand and empathise with you.
LOVE conquers all.
Simple explain to me
ReplyDeleteIf he loves u
This shouldn't be a big deal
Take his name to ijebu-ode
ReplyDeleteYes, U need to tell ur husband. If possible with your both parents.
ReplyDeleteI don't know you dearie but I believe you. Talk to your husband about what your Mom told you. He already loves you right? He's just not certain if you told him the truth& that's understandable but I guess he'd believe what your mouth told. Just take a deep breath ok? Cheers.
ReplyDeleteI didn't bleed one bit but I was extremely tight and my husband couldn't penetrative easily free your mind.
ReplyDeletequit unfortunate incident. But i guess your mum should do the wrong. Had it been you have been informed about your past it would have been so easy for you to explain to your man right from inception and which i believe a reasonable man should still stick by you for saying the truth. In a nut shell, your mum should invite the man and do the wrong.
ReplyDeleteTahhhhhh..don't even try explaining shit...Nd hu told u DT every virgin must c blood.?do u even know y blood comes out from a virgin's vagina?..its by percentage ..78% may c blood Nd 28% may not c blood...just stick to d fact dt Ure a virgin Nd I biliv It must b very tight Nd painful .wen he was doing it.Bcos its bin long na(since u wr 4)..some may even loss Thr virginity from strenuous exercise or so...@salesco
ReplyDeletemy dear PUT IT IN PRAYERS THEN CALL YOUR HUSBAND AND EXPLAIN TO HIM HOPEFULLY GOD WILL TOUCH HIS HEART TO UNDERSTAND!!!!!!JC
ReplyDeleteOMG! Ha, I dnt knw wat 2 say oo.
ReplyDeleteKindly Check out my blog :http://pamscrib.blogspot.com
Well the best thing i would have done if i were in your shoe, will summon courage and tell him all my mother told me.more over the mistake wasn't from you cos u were very young and mother should have told u long ago.
ReplyDeleteyou just have to try, a man that loves u will always love you no matter what.
Tell ur hubby sweetheart, if he loves you as u have said, he will believe you....hmmm
ReplyDeleteThis is pathetic, and your mum also made a mistake for not telling you your past when you are now a grown up, i think our mother is the most closest to us and we are free to discuss any of our lifetime issue with them, well I will advice the young man to still stay in the marriage coz you are both meant for love........
ReplyDeleteMtchhew! See story o, wen ur hubby penetrated you didt he notice, blood is no silly proof. Of virginity smtin that was done four yrs ago is nt enuf proof thaat u ain't still a. Virgin cos d Virginia must have contracted and seal kindda even tho there's no blood, it will still be hard to penetrate as that of a virgin....some men sef
ReplyDeleteI advise you to tell your husband, explain what your mother told youto him. The fault is from your. Mum cos she should have told you.
ReplyDeleteInteresting! I actually blame her mom for keeping the secrets from her daughter, if the mom had told her, she would have worked on her mind and get over it while growing up. The daughter would have also explained to the man before marriage if she had known. So i ll suggest she tells her mom to call the couple and speak with them together, saving her daughter by telling the man the whole story.
ReplyDeleteWhao!!! Am sori for dat, you can go ahead n explain to him den as rgds to bin a virgin n u didn't see blood it happens as well if u are smone dat does sport dou I don't understand the theory behind it BT a medical person shld. Love is a thing of the heart not ........
ReplyDeleteTell ur mum to do the xplanation because u didn't know about it all the while, u were a kid den and didn't knw wat happend. If u knw ow to tell him dat he will understand, den dats much better!
ReplyDeleteTry explaining to him. Hard to believe though.
ReplyDeleteI am becomin sick of this Fuckery of complains by retards on LIB. I ve got to cure my addiction to this fuckin blog. Fuck the DUDE. Virgin or no virgin, pussy na pussy.
ReplyDeleteU and your block head husband are trying 2 make an issue outta nothing. God does not dwell in the past. What is important is now.
ReplyDeleteWhich century is your hubby from?
ReplyDeleteAwww, Just find a way to make him believe you, if he loves you, he will believe you especially if you seldom lie to him...your mum didnt do good by hiding that fact from you though.
ReplyDeletePlease click on my name for Fashion/Fitness/Beauty tips
I don't think that was enough to break the hymen at aged 4.
ReplyDeleteNot all virgin bleeds. If you had engaged in other fore plays before sex then there is every chance that you wont bleed during penetration.
Some form of exercise cause you not to bleed too.
So i think you do more research on this before talking to your husband.
fashionitazbybuiti.blogspot.com
I don't think he needs to know the details. Most virgins break their hymen through strained exercises...
ReplyDeleteGhen ghen...
ReplyDeleteJust tell him
ReplyDeleteDnt tell him the truth,its not a must for a virgin to bleed,it might be possible ur hymen broken due to stress
ReplyDeleteMadam at 4years,the v suppose close back,haba me i don't even believe you how much more your husby.ONEA...
ReplyDeletemgt4all@gmail.com: YES, GO AHEAD AND TELL HIM. HE HAS TO BELIEVE YOU. BE POLITE AND DISCREET. SUCH THINGS DO HAPPEN TO SOME GIRLS. QUIET REGRETTABLE! IT WAS NOT YOUR MAKING.
ReplyDeleteAGAIN, IF YOUR MAN MARRIED YOU JUST FOR YOUR VIRGINITY, TO ME; HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. IT IS LIKE A MAN WHO MARRIED A GIRL FOR OIL-COMPANY JOB, ETC. IF LOVE IS FOR BENEFITS WITHOUT SHARING GRIEVES IT IS NO LOVE.
IS HE A VIRGIN? IS ANYTHING WRONG IF A GIRL MARRIES A VIRGIN HUSBAND?
Seriously swt hrt,just sit him down nd tell. Him everytin,I. Do believe he loved u be4 he married u,so all u need 2 do is tell him everytin nd how it happened.I sincerely believe he will listen 2 you.
ReplyDeleteSeriously swt hrt,just sit him down nd tell. Him everytin,I. Do believe he loved u be4 he married u,so all u need 2 do is tell him everytin nd how it happened.I sincerely believe he will listen 2 you.
ReplyDeleteHmmm my darling dis is soo sad and heartbreaking,but pls dnt let it weigh u down,explain 2 him and let him knw all dat ur mum tld u and tell him 2 confirm frm ur mum am sure he wld understand,and also let him knw dat u never slept with anybody @ll untill u married him,
ReplyDeletemy dear the best solution is to tell your husband the truth because you were raped and your parents didnt want to hurt you with the truth. But pray first and ask for God's direction before you take the big step.
ReplyDeleteAll the best
It's quite unfortunate dearie but truth must be told, and u leave him to believe or not, meanwhile accept my heartfelt sympathy
ReplyDeleteStory story as if na nigeria film. Well tell ur husby d truth that's all!
ReplyDeleteHello Lady,
ReplyDeleteI believe you owe your hubby that explanation. You can invite your Mom and let her say what she told you in his presence. She should also let him know that they never told you this until now. If you do not explain to him, he will have trust issues with you. All d best....Mrs. Eunice
I think you should tell him
ReplyDeleteIf possible let ur mum be there and explain better
If he loves you he will understand and forgive
Just tell him the truth am sure he'll understand
ReplyDeletei understand your ordeal,however keep that to yourself.
ReplyDeleteYou still have to find a way to tell him. Sorry dear
ReplyDeleteWhy is being a virgin so important to him. Is he a Virgin, is his mother a virgin? He is an idiot.
ReplyDeleteI usually don't comment butbut I'm doing so now to disabuse the mindset that you are meant to bleed the first time.
ReplyDeleteFor reasons best known to God women are divided into 3 categories; tthose with no hymen, thin hymens and thick hymen.
The women without hymens don't bleed at all on their first sexual experience, the ones with thin hymens are pretty much common but make no mistake even a woman with thin hymen may not bleed her first time if she has been involved in very rigorous sporting activities including tree climbing. The last category will most often than not require their hymens to be broken through medical assistance.
Coming to the issue you have, nothing beats coming out with the truth. The fact still remains that to the best of your knowledge, you kept yourself. You might just be surprised that that revelation will bring out his empathetic side. All the best!
Aww..what a touchy story. Yes, you should tell your husband what your mum explained to you. He should love you more after you explain that to him If he really loves you.
ReplyDeleteExplain to ur hubby. Its not ur fault, u were only a baby. If anything, u were greatly wronged as a child. If he truly loves u he will understand. After all, men willingly marry women who are not virgins they ar in love with. Put it all in prayer & keep ya head up.
ReplyDeleteOhhh dats so pathetic dear,u just hv to explain to him so he won't always see u as a lier,may d lord b with u
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, dis is a serious matter o, I wl advise u 2 let ur mum do d talk. He wl respect r n blv wat ever she says
ReplyDeleteMy dear, tell him the truth is not your fault. Take heart and I wish u well.....
ReplyDeleteI hv experienced this before. I was doubted,i asked same question u asked. BT I think u should tell him or hv ur parent explain that to him cos it's not ur fault bt theirs for not telling u such huge secret of ur life
ReplyDeleteJust tell him its left to him to believe u or not. If he truely love u he will believe and trust u.
ReplyDeleteKeep it to yourself, don't tell him. Maintain ur words of being a virgin wen he married u but come to think of it, does being a virgin and not been virgin changed anythg?
ReplyDeleteLet ur parents tell him the story, dnt tell him urself and if he doesn't believe it n still doesnt treat u like a loving companion, then let him go.... because a marriage is much more than Sexuality, he should love u for who you are and not the Sexuality u brought into the marriage
ReplyDeleteThis your new version of the story is actually a bit hard to swallow.
ReplyDeleteMy story is quite similar....the only difference is that I knew who did what to me. I was between 5 n 6yrs olf, and I lived with my grannies. Our house was like a 'family house'...other flats were occupied by relatives. My uncle used to 'finger' me. I did not tell anyone at home...cos I wasnt sure if he was doing the wrong thing or just playing with me. But I told my husband before we got married...we didnt even have sex before marriage, and my husband was a virgin. So there were no surprises. This uncle is now married, and as karma would have it, he has only girls (I dont pray for the same to happen to them...but i know someone else is praying for that to happen). About 4yrs ago, cousin of ours used to stay with him and his wife...and one day, he raped her (she was 21 at that time). He denied it, and her peeps just took her to the hospital to flush whatever ...just in case.
ReplyDeleteEnough of my own story, I'll advise you talk to your husband. If he didnt marry you for your virginity, then he would understand and move on....and trust will not be an issue.. If you are scared of him, you can tell your mum to talk to him. But really, he should understand even without your mum interfering. He married you for love , not for the status of your V.
It is well with you. Let's all be careful of neighbors and uncles....
Sorry to hear dat Sis, u will av to tell him, if he loves u, things are going to settle down
ReplyDeleteis possible u make love 4 d 1st tym witout seeing blood go online n check. u shuld tell him explain 2him. he will undastnd.May GOD b with u.
ReplyDeleteVery sorry do tell him and may almighty God help u out
ReplyDeleteYeah tell him. He'll understand cos it ain't ur fault.
ReplyDeleteif dat ur husband really care abt u wat happen sud nt b a barrier he sud luv u more bcos u didnt lied to him bcos u also dnt knw
ReplyDeleteOk, is it that you and your husband dont communicate? Because I would have told my husband that I was going to talk to my mum about it even before going ahead to do so. Any how, it shouldnt be a big deal telling him now what your mum told you. You both will heal through it together and keep it moving. That is partnership in marriage.
ReplyDeleteOk, is it that you and your husband dont communicate? Because I would have told my husband that I was going to talk to my mum about it even before going ahead to do so. Any how, it shouldnt be a big deal telling him now what your mum told you. You both will heal through it together and keep it moving. That is partnership in marriage.
ReplyDeleteI don't think he should, except if ur mum will do dat. I advice you to take it to God in prayer,cos he is a SOLUTION to all matters.he will surely do it in his own way.and I tell u,u will be surprise
ReplyDeletewhy you sef dey lie
ReplyDeletePlease tell him, if he really loves you, he ll believe you
ReplyDeleteBefore I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,
ReplyDeleteMa present fiance lost ah virginity via ah ex raping ah.. And believe me she's still da best thing dat has eva happen to me. Loving ones patna superceeds bin a virgin. Tell hm da truth no matta what n let hm follow hs mind. Ur Sincerity ll vindicate U.
ReplyDeleteGoodluck
my dear, weep not. u need to help ur husband to believe you. convince your parents to intervene, as they are the only witness to the issue. they might be able to convince your hubby. it can be difficult for the man though, but nothing is impossible if you apply wisdom and pray for the leading of the Holy Spirit. i wish u d best.
ReplyDeleteYes !!Explain to him.This is not your fault
ReplyDeleteIs simply your mother shld explain to your hubby
ReplyDeleteBefore I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,
ReplyDeleteBefore I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,
ReplyDeletefuck off, lying ass.
ReplyDeletemy dear sister if it is what you said, there no reason why you should not tell ur husband. he must know everything for the health of your marriage. it will be very wrong for you not to tell him and maybe when your mother is visiting or u guys are visiting or make him talk to ur mother too. it will help him to understand and trust you more. do it as a favour to urself & ur marriage. May God speak for you as you do and may He hear/listen for ur husband as he listens.
ReplyDeleteIt was not your fault naa, He should still love you nonetheless, because you were deflowered by a fool...
ReplyDeleteBefore I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,
ReplyDeleteTell him everything that happened, since he loves you, his gonna understand.
ReplyDeleteWell, you have two options you can tell him or not tell him.
ReplyDeleteIf you tell him, make sure to back it up with your parents as witnesses, especially if he asks. Show him that you are telling the truth.
If you dont wan to tell him what happened then you might have to endure him looking at you like you aren't to be trusted in the relationship.
Although it doesn't matter if you were a virgin or not, you have to try and understand with him. I believe it is more about feeling lied to than actually if you were a virgin or not.
SO if you ask me I would say you should just go ahead and tell him and get it off your mind. For your own peace of mind and for him.
best of luck dear...
Who tell you say 28 young!
ReplyDeleteMaybe that man deflowered you that time you were small. Explain to your husband, he will believe you.
ReplyDelete$.
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@Mr Endowed via Lumia phone
His cup of tea. Let him go and buy blood and put dia,since na blood he wan see. #oneandonlynwa@gmail.com#
ReplyDeleteBefore I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,
ReplyDeleteBefore I advice u, pls let's all be reminded that virginity, children , sex etc is not the primary intention of God when he instituted marriage, marriage is first for companionship before any other thing, so a wise man will never leave his woman just bcos she is not a virgin or cos she has no kids for him Dear, so long ur saying the truth? Don't be afraid to tell him after all he is ur husband and deserves to know everything about u, if he is a wise man he will understand and love u more cos truth is the only thing that can vindicate u anytime anywhere,
ReplyDeleteMost people were abused as kids...get your mum to speak with him, if he is still not sympathetic after this GIRL YOU ARE WITH AN ANIMAL.All the best
ReplyDeleteYes, You have to tell your husband the truth.
ReplyDeleteYour mother shldnt v kept such incidence away 4rm you and just call him and explain to him....You were defile at the age of 4 and you didn't have sex for 24yrs since you got married at age 28 that doesn't make you a virgin....But explain to him
ReplyDeleteThe truth shall set you both free, he needs to know the truth, if he really love you he would love u more after getting to know the truth..
ReplyDeletecommon, it was not your fault the incident happened while a child, as long as your heart is right that you didnt trade your body for any man, your husband will believe you and love you more. except of course he has trust issue. you can involve your mum too if need be.
ReplyDeleteI dont recommend telling hubby. Whatever you do, stick to your story. He might claim he will understand and all but uhhh no he wont and add to it child raped, omg stick to your story missus. I just wish you didnt have to know what your mother said.
ReplyDeleteIMO, i didnt see blood either first time i had sex. and yes, i was looking forward to it,and no, i wasnt raped as a child (i hope not)
Hmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteTell him nah. You can even involve your mum just to prove you didn't know about it
ReplyDeleteYou said love u so much, it is hard to see a girl of 28 yrs still a virgin today, but if your case is true that u were raped at 4 yrs of age, don't bother to dis the subject further with ur hubby, right now he is not sure whether u are a virgin or not, let him hold on to that confusion for now. your opening up things u just found out will only amount to putting fuel in the already burning fire and dat can crash ur marriage. let the coast to be clear first i.e his head and anger to settle first and try to be a good wife, he will love d more, then in a more relaxed atmosphere discuss what u just found with him. That's my advise, sorry dear for the ugly incident at 4 yrs. Linda pls post my comment
ReplyDeleteYou should tell him, and let your mum be present.
ReplyDeleteDnt really knw wat to say...cos I was raped too wen I was small&wen I tell people dey just say story 4 d gods.but if he truly loves u,dat shud be by d way.
ReplyDeleteVERULE say-u guys hv to find a way to explain to him,by telin d persn u kn he respect so much n also pray to God abt d situation,evrytin is possible wit God. Wish u al d best. "Beautifu is life"""
ReplyDeleteIts not all virgins dah releases blood, medically speaking. Don't u dare tell ur husband bouh it, it would only make him trust u less. Tell him to go ask a medical doctor and dey wud make it clear to him that not all virgins will discharge blood.
ReplyDeleteMy dear,I feel your pain,ur mother should hv told u all dis story all dis while bt nevertheless,jst try n talk to ur husband,if he luvs u,he will believe u,nd accept u for who u are #fact#sharon
ReplyDeleteConfused too
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeletePlease accept my condolence for you must be in a terrible pain. However, if your husband reads LIB am sure he knows your story by now.The worst is over
Ps give us feedback on how he took it.
Yes. Dear, tell him, if he don't believe, den ask ur mum/dad to come explain to him,its owk.
ReplyDeleteSUPER STORY!!! next episode please.
ReplyDeleteactually blood doesnt always come out. but ur own is another case. confide in him if u must.Do u knw where u can read fantastic stories?
ReplyDeletehilarious stories about life
if u wnt to knw, check this blog out.
Life Encounters
You were 4, tell him! Why do you even need anyone to tell you that?! If he truly loves you, he will hunt that man down and castrate him!
ReplyDeleteTell ur parents to explain to ur hubby and if he truly loves u,he will forgive u
ReplyDeleteAuntylindagoddaughter
Maybe u shld let ur mum tel him and also explain to him dat she didnt disclose it to u dat u were raped at d age of 4.
ReplyDeleteIts really painful for some1 Ʊ love to actually not trust Ʊ for somtin Ʊ didn't do bt if I was in ur shoes I will take him to my parents A̶̲̥̅₪D̶̲̥̅ let him hear it straight from dere mouth A̶̲̥̅₪D̶̲̥̅ if he is half d man Ʊ claim he is den he would accept Ʊ back wit open arms bt pls βε̲̣ fast abt it A̶̲̥̅₪D̶̲̥̅ don't let d mistrust eat deep into ur relationship,A̶̲̥̅₪D̶̲̥̅ pls let us know d joyous outcome,ride on wit ur married life darling
ReplyDeleteStory for de gods**** women and der fake life# u ar not wat u made him believed u wre and u ar expectin him to be happy# whr was ur mom 4fore nw and why did she not tell u* abeg park well
ReplyDeleteYou should tell your hubby all that your mum has told you, it's a story you weren't even aware of so it's not your fault. I don't think he should stop loving you just because you weren't a virgin.
ReplyDeletewow.
ReplyDeleteDifficult but its better to let the cat out of the bag.
Tell him the truth and be free.
He wud still luv u ofcos....dats doesn't change d fact dat u ar a virgin.., besides if he trusts you he would believe ur story n still luv u
ReplyDeleteLol... I can imagine d luk on his face wen he went in!!! As far as u didn't do it 4 gud 24yrs,e suppose clip he tin even if no blood. .2ndly,yes u shld tell him and ur mum shld hv told u earlier
ReplyDeletePssst!! Some guys need to get real man. Why is he making a fuss out of shit issue? Perhaps cos he thought you were a virgin. But he should get over it already. If he was a virgin too then you're fucked... He will sure nag about it for life
ReplyDelete