Dear LIB readers: My husband hates to cuddle in bed
From a female LIB reader
I've been married for just four months and I must say marriage is not at all what I expected. It's not bad, but its a little different from when two people are dating, or maybe mine is just peculiar. What gets me the most is that my husband doesn't like to cuddle in bed. After sex, he wants me as far away from him as possible on the bed. When I put my hands around him, he tells me to give him space, saying he's uncomfortable with anything touching him when he's sleeping. And this is supposed to be forever? I like to cuddle, I want to be held by my man, I want to be able to sleep in his arms but not this man I married. He wants none of that. How do I convince him that is the best way two people who like each other should sleep? I need my cuddles
You married a dude that's not touchy feely.some dudes are that way. Just have a talk with him and tell him all you told us :) I'm not touchy feely either hun.
You married a dude that's not touchy feely.some dudes are that way. Just have a talk with him and tell him all you told us :) I'm not touchy feely either hun.
That's one of the problems. Have you talked to him about it? Did it happen before marriage or you waited until the wedding night to do it? Oh well, it's either you live with it that way or nothing else...
You guys dated.....how come you didn't notice this important detail...since you are already married, talk to him about it....he has to realize he is no longer a bachelor...or better still write him a letter... he will find it funny and romantic but he will change..trust me
Another specie of human being......... U either find a way to teach him to cuddle or learn to be far away...........But how can someone not want anytin to touch him while sleeping.....
Another specie of human being......... U either find a way to teach him to cuddle or learn to be far away...........But how can someone not want anytin to touch him while sleeping.....
I heard d same experience with my ex.we talked about it but he did not change so I have to let him go.U are married try talking to him.cos me I like cuddling wella. OBYCHINA
Welcome to my world! I have a similar story but the difference between you and I is that I took my case to God instead of Libers! Ang guess what? He changed after a shot period. Some men re like that. I can tell you probably didnt engage in premarital sex before marriage else you would have noticed these traits you see now. If so, go to GOD in prayers ( it ll cost you nothing). Above all, your marriage isnt something to bring up on blogs and allow people you barely know give you advice (it is risky). God is the best person to turn to at times like this
You where supposed to see that during courtship. well since you guys are still new, you might as well tell him .I belive he still cares enough to want you to be happy
dats y u should date before marriage.......seee......i tink u shud tell him dat tym he is happy craving for sex....dats during the touching and kissing....pls dont pretend....this is the right tym....before it gets late...if he stil refuse...dont hv sex wt him...tel him becos u want cuddle after it....to b honest,you guys will quarrel...after dat he wil come back....dont b d one to beg..allow him to come say sorry...from Rita Francis
Nobody here has the answer to your question. it is up to you to pray and work your marriage the way you want it. Talk to your husband lovingly and humbly about how you feel and what you like.
Wow dint u knw dis bout b4 u married...oyo lowa ooo...go talk 2 him nd explain hw much u love cuddling maybe he wuld understand...nd if he doesnt go nd buy teddies nd cuddle...
Hmmn! Sis I must confess I do same as a man. I ve also realised I do it mostly with people I don't really like/love. Their touch after sex gets me irritated and makes me uncomfortable. But then when I am with somone am so compatible with, our body chemistry speaks for itself and it's cuddling all the way. If you also check it, you will observe that you sometimes force sex on him which he sometime reluctantly accepts just to be a man. Its not far fetched dear, your hubby is not so compatible with you and am afraid you can't force it...thanks
Well, I think u should talk to hm about it try to make him undastand. Bt if he doesn't u'l have to accept hm d way he is, he's ur husband nd der's no turning back. Jst try to fix tns nd enjoy ur marriage. Goodluck to u dear...
My dear sister I think you should just talk to him. His your husband and I think you should have studied him to know how to make him do what he has never done before, use the Strength of a Woman.
Dats crazy.....he has 2 learn it n u should ave noticed it while dating. Mayb u never slept ova @ his place or vice versa buh dah kinda Wld not lyk long hugs. Pray he changes or u 4get d cuddling.
you need to learn how to table your problems with your husband not the third party. Marriage has up and down things lady but it's very sweet if you manage to pass this stage you are now, see you.
And you should get your cuddles,cant really.tell.How ur courtship or dating period was like,but I think dis is something u should have noticed then,talk to him about it n if dat doesn't work,get a huge ass teddy bear...just until he comes around.lol
LOL!!! my dear you have to adapt cos two of u r from different background. the reason why am laughing is that i have same issue when i first married my wife, she likes cuddling and i hate touching while sleeping. let him be for now. let him cuddle u on bed before sex and before he sleeps and once he's asleep let him be to avoid trouble i guess with time he will change. marriage is give and take, there is no perfect marriage.
Didn't u know that before marrying him, or u want to claim u waited until marriage to make love. Its obvious u guys rushed into marriage without knowing much of each other. if its a habit, its hard to change but keep trying. in d mean time buy a large stuffed animal to cuddle at night. #goodluck#
Eyha Pele. If he does cuddle with yu before yu guys gt married and now stopped cuddling after marriage my sister it means he's getting tired of you n the marriage might not last.... be getting prepared for Woteva might happen. #Lobatan.
Its not the most comfortable sleeping position actually. Just explain you like to feel his warmth and then maybe spoon him. My husband isnt a fan of head on chest cuddling all night so that was our middle ground. Pele welcome to the married world
E get as e be o! How is it possible dat you are just noticing dis after marriage, una no court & make luv b4 marriage. I dey always talk say: ANYTHING YOU TOLERATE IN COURTSHIP CAN'T BE CHANGED IN MARRIAGE. Linda take note!
Dat means u guys neva dated and u jumped into marriage like dat. Cos if u have, u could have let it out from d begining to him. just live with it or u might get another bad experience
Hmmmm dis is serious ooo cos cuddling is also a sign of love and I like been cuddle also so u better sit ur man down and have a chat with him ooo and aside dat u guys were dating b4 marriage and u should have known d kind of person ur husband was b4 u say "yes I do" to 4ever, uguys had courtship b4 marriage na
E get as e be o! How is it possible dat you are just noticing dis after marriage, una no court & make luv b4 marriage. I dey always talk say: ANYTHING YOU TOLERATE IN COURTSHIP CAN'T BE CHANGED IN MARRIAGE. Linda take note!
E get as e be o! How is it possible dat you are just noticing dis after marriage, una no court & make luv b4 marriage. I dey always talk say: ANYTHING YOU TOLERATE IN COURTSHIP CAN'T BE CHANGED IN MARRIAGE. Linda take note!
Its only him that can get your cuddles for you,you're married now and it stays that way,talk to him about itm just keep telling him how bad u want it more than sex itself
E get as e be o! How is it possible dat you are just noticing dis after marriage, una no court & make luv b4 marriage. I dey always talk say: ANYTHING YOU TOLERATE IN COURTSHIP CAN'T BE CHANGED IN MARRIAGE. Linda take note!
Did he just pick a desperate you and said come and marry me and you guys just got married. Or do you guys belong to a strict doctrine of religion that forbids dating? For me, only those two reasons make sense to me cos how come you are just finding out.
If it's the latter then the God that asked you to abstain from premarital sex will surely be the only one that can fix that and work out a beautiful marriage for you guys just with the imperfections
This is something you should have known, u dated the man before marrying him how come u never knew he doesn't like cuddles. Sweetheart u should talk to your husband maybe he'll have a rethink, U're his wife for Christ sake not his girlfriend so he should get used to you coz that's the face that will always wake up beside him till like forever
I don't like anyone breathing on me in the name of cuddle. I like my space. Didn't you date him? Well sorry guess you have to endure this. It is what it is.
Make sure you do every cuddling touches and kissing before you make love. Also before you go to bed make sure you play in your living room so that you might have a lot of touches yourself before you make love
Did u have a short gun marriage?If not,U should have known that about him.I think U should just learn to give him his space while praying that he'll improve soon.pls don't Nag about it cos it'll only make it worse!
Na wa ooo... marriage is totally different from dating that is why it's best for you to get ready mentally and emotionally for what you are about to enter if not you will feel trapped and deceived after one month sef..
My dear, i know exactly how you feel, but you see sometimes what we expect in marriage is not what we get when we re married. So my dear, if he doesn't want to cuddle u in bed, don't worry too much just let him be, u will get use to it with time.
Linda go pick up ur sista @lauraikeji twerking for solid star. I've always wondered what she does for a living all dis while though...Me no want ur giveaway o,so if u like don't post this...
Make sure you do every cuddling touches and kissing before you make love. Also before you go to bed make sure you play in your living room so that you might have a lot of touches yourself before you make love
ITS REALLY TOO EARLY FOR YOU TO SAY THAT MARRIAGE IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS . I HAVE REALIZED THAT COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE. BOTH OF YOU HAS TO TALK IT OVER.YOU CAN TALK HIM INTO LIKING IT.TRUST ME EVERY MAN WANTS TO MEET THE NEED OF HIS SPOUSE IN ALL THINGS I MEAN IN ALL THINGS.
Make sure you do every cuddling touches and kissing before you make love. Also before you go to bed make sure you play in your living room so that you might have a lot of touches yourself before you make love
Whoa.....divorce him lol, oboviously didn't mean that....buh u really av to talk 2 him about it.. If u don't commuincate about it 2 him he wuld feel wah's he's doin is nt bad. All u av 2 do is talk
babe, the truth is this; men generally don't like to cuddle, especially after sex or when we want to sleep. get with the program, your case is not peculiar
Heey Babe...Did'nt you guys date? or you never had cause to be close(not necessarily having sex) before marriage, to talk about likes and dislikes and practicalise some. please let him know how you feel about this as communication is key. if he still refuses then ou have to live with it and cuddle your pillow as you are supposed to know some of these trival things before marriage.
Abeg am sometimes pissed at what pple bring to this platform as their issues.
you never start! u will see more things that will make you cringe. I wish i lived with my husband before marrying him, i would not have married him! He is a dirty and lazy buffon!
Hmmmm nawa...for me reverse is the case oh wen sex is over we can cuddle and kiss for a while but u dare not move close wen am sleeping. I dnt think that should be a problem so long as he satisfies you in bed. Work it out babe marriage is sweet!
Its not his fault. Am not a man but I hate cuddling eh! I hate anythn touching me while am sleeping_i'd rather sleep on d floor if I have friends over than share my bed. Dats just it and I dont know if any man can change dis. So try to understand and maybe let him hold u a little till u sleep den unwrap u n sleep if he cares about u. Just have a heart to heart with him, if he loves u n care abt ur feelings, he will definitely find a way around it.
Hmmmm nawa...for me reverse is the case oh wen sex is over we can cuddle and kiss for a while but u dare not move close wen am sleeping. I dnt think that should be a problem so long as he satisfies you in bed. Work it out babe marriage is sweet!
This is hard, I think u shld talk 2 him, if he really cares he'l cuddle u @ 1st den mayb wen ur asleep later let go of u unconsciously, dats hw itz done, cuddling is inconveniencing most tym 4 men. Hope he changes doe.
Who says cuddling is the way to sleep? That's TV something. He doesn't like to cuddle and its not a sin. So I advise you to negotiate with him. Let him hold you immediately after sex and when he is ready to sleep he can disentangle himself. Comprendo?
Pls sit him quietly n tell him this is like d smallest thing u have seen in marriage n u r running to the world already for stupid advice. Go n buy good book on marriage n read n stop waiting our time here. Is too early now very soon na u will say he is maltreating u. Na so e dey start.
errmm one question ooo...is it that you didn't notice this before you got married to him or what?? what advice are you expecting from LIB readers now? to tell you your husband doesn't love you or that he's having an affair?? Woman abeg it's to early to start complaining...work things out with him instead of looking for something where you didn't drop it.
Dunno about other people (or maybe I don't know the correct position), but cuddling in bed is actually uncomfortable. After a minute or so, it's as if a dead weight is resting on you. You start feeling as if your shoulder and chest is about to collapse (ever tried holding a mere 5kg dumbell up for just 10 minutes? A human being is probably like 50kg minimum). Na all ds oyinbo films dey cause all ds kain funny expectations of how a marriage should be. @ poster Marriage nor be storybook o, ehen
Your husband is like me too. When I want to sleep, I don't like anything touching me else I won't be able to sleep. So pls bear with him sweetie, its who he is. It doesn't mean he don't love u.
Jst went i thought am d only one.. My bf does dat,shud i bck out nw dat am nt fully committed??.. Cos i was thinking he wud change wen we ar married,reading dis nw scares me
There is fire ooo...why does he want you far from him after sex?some men sha oo,jst talk some sense into your man,make him understand ooo,God bless your home
Lol@I need my cuddles.........all dis should av been discussed b4 marriage sis, I doubt he can change from who he is....even if u try to talk him into it, it can only last for sometime b4 he goes back to been himself, how about the ones dat doses off without even knowing u exist? Anyway, all d best and pls start getting use to ur new found love*winks
Lol....he's ur husband...u should be able to discuss just everything with him....tell him what u want and let him make corrections as the marriage is still early.
Emm Wen u guys were dating ehnn didn't u guys cuddle at all..well anyways he must be a very agile person sha.buh Mr husband change adjust for your wife pls so that ur marriage would be a great one and yea its forever
Eyaa. Wat can we say? It's the way he grew up. I too don't like to be held wen am sleeping, doesn't mean I don't love my man. It's a psychological thing. carita4real@gmail.com says so
U need cuddles! He doesn't need cuddles! He can't always like wat u like dt doesn't make ur marriage bad or ur husband bad, u don't know if he hass issues bothering him at work and all u re thinking abt is hw to choke d man to death with cuddles! Pls buy a tedddy bear
Some men don't really like to be disturbed while sleeping is normal dear, but talk to him and let him know how u feel bout it, I for one am not comfortable with someone holding me while sleeping because I roll like almost 100 times
Did you just marry a random stranger? If you guys dated, you would have noticed or you were the type that got married because others are married? A guy who does not hug/cuddle his lady is not into her. Yours is not an exception. Ladies please take your time and get married to the best man because if you don't you will bear the consequences alone. Anyway, try and explain how the lack of cuddling from him makes you feel unwanted and see if he will change.
It's not by your power, you should go to God and pray cos if yu want to endure this forever things has to change. It's only God that can change that. Or you want to look for a lover outside ur home? Nt Advisable The ball is in your court
First things first were u aware of this before accepting his proposal? If yes then u re in this already, if no then I think there is a problem go see a therapist then pray
Hahahahahah. My dear as soon as you say I do, the game becomes different. It is still early for u to start complaining; I therefore suggest you discuss it with him. If he truly doesn't like being cuddled learn to cope without it.
That's strange.. Don't know what/how to advise you on this issue. My few cents will be to talk to him about it during the day; when he's in a happy mood. Make a conversation (don't nag him) abt it but in a comfortable way for him to be able to open up.
get a pillow and cuddle...I dont like cuddle too .I got married last year. if that's the case u dont have issues. what about those that the husbands abuse everyday.
Give him some time, give him his space. Most men like their space. And while you are at it, get yourself a big fluffy teddy bear cos when the babies start coming you won't even bother about his cuddles anymore.
Am Not Sure u. Dated him b4 u guys got married na... nd if u guys dated,den u must hav Takn note of all dz nd knw if uar ready 2 do Witout it 4d rest of ur life. Na,u berra stop complaining nd live wit it like dat............ NB 2d. single ladies dnt Rush in2 marriage court 4. @least 1yrs b4 u strt makn marriage plans.... Mrng LIB Readers
You do not only need your cuddle you need prayer as well. There most be someting that makes him to keep a distance after sex. Ask him and talk to God about it.^#
It's not peculiar to him: some men exhibit such tendencies. They tend to develop temporary repulsion or hatred for a lady after sex. Some try to suppress and hide it while some just play it out (depending on how much he adores u). But I believe, if he truly loves you, he wouldn't be letting that tendency for repulsion get the better part of him. Question his love for you: that's the problem playing out here!
Linda like seriously are u a 'winch'? I wanted to send u a mail concerning this type of scenario in my relationship because it's really causing problems for us. After sex,i hate to talk to my fiancee or have her wrap her hands around me but she likes exactly d opposite and it's causing problems for us. Not that I don't wanna change,but I don't know wen I doze off or wriggle myself outta her grip. Wat do I do?
Did he cuddle u while u were d8in? If yes den hez loosing love 4 u, if no den dats his nature, u saw it b4 u got married so y complain now? Dats how he is. Well dats my take on dis post
Lol..funny bfr u got married...u guys never spent d nyt togeda???n even if he faked it for d while. He wuda mentioned in d long run.duno anyways. If sm1 doesn't feel comfy wit smth..it takes a whole lot of convincing to change d person s mind.esp a man. never b far away from prayers too
Pls cuddle ur pillow & stop disturbing us wit irrelevant issues. I personally dnt feel comfortable wit a man's hands wrapped around me all through the nite. I feel stalked. So jst try to live with it & stop making it an issue. All d best.
Is really a sad one I must say, cos it interprets a deep emotional chemistry when a man is comfortable with his partner after sexual engagement and translates otherwise if this doesn't happen after sex.. But the truth is people have different sexual behavioral pattern and u as d opposite sex in the marriage can build and work on this, with time he might get over this obscure behavior and change.
Remember, this is a marriage not a mere dating affair, so this should be one of the things u get to know about ur partner and see how u can work towards changing it together as couples..
Tell him you are a woman who need to feel protected, loved and adored and cuddling is one of them. Its like a safe way to say "Baby, feel safe in me for i am here and will always be" ring it to him until he finally sees its necessary.
Didn't you know this when you were courting or you never slept over in his place and had sex? If you did, and you failed to address it before marrying him, then you should stop complaining. Unless he pretended and lied to you throughout your courtship. If he pretended or lied, then try to find out other things he lied or pretended about, and find a way to get his maximum attention in order to address everything now before it's too late. Shallom!
Soooo funny. Get real babe. Most men don't like cuddling. The sooner u realise that not cuddling doesn't mean you have a bad marriage the happier you will be. Do a survey and ask your friends who are married they will laugh it off bcos that is so not a problem. I heard this from many friends before I married so wen I got married and it happened it wasn't a shock to me. When you have a husband who hates sex then you have a problem or he likes cuddling but sleeps around then you know this "problem" of no cuddling is bliss
Poster you are not alone o. Mine all of a sudden after marriage claim he doesn't like kissing!! What? (He only wants to kiss me in public to show off cos I am fine like that!!) He doesn't like so cuddling!!! What? and so many thing we did in our short period of courtship. It killed my sex drive tbh and i became bored. He complained, I complained too. Somehow we have been married for 6 years with 2 beautiful kids. Aside from his flaws in bed, he is the kindest man I know and he understands my personality.
Divorce him!
ReplyDeleteDivorce him!
ReplyDeleteDivorce him!
ReplyDeleteHmmmm
ReplyDeleteWith time he will get used to it.
Hian
ReplyDeleteYou married a dude that's not touchy feely.some dudes are that way. Just have a talk with him and tell him all you told us :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not touchy feely either hun.
You married a dude that's not touchy feely.some dudes are that way. Just have a talk with him and tell him all you told us :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not touchy feely either hun.
K.
ReplyDeleteHe is really selfish. I think u shd tell him to allow u sleep off in his arms, and the slide away wen u are fast asleep. Both parties will b pleased.
ReplyDeleteAm available oo militosmart@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteKill him
ReplyDeleteWhen u guys were dating did u nt observe dat?
ReplyDeleteKindly get a teddy bear since u like to cuddle. They sell some in traffic in case u cant get to a shop. Just wash well. Enjoy ur cuddles
ReplyDeleteMR EDDY said this harmattan is sponsored by MTN. It is everywhere u go.
ReplyDeleteIt's too early to start complaining. Just chill and speak to him about it. I believe he will learn.
^
^
^™THAT EDO BOY.COM~wishes u happy new year.
She should use the strength of a woman and lure her husband to cuddle in bed.
ReplyDelete***ECHOMASS***
That's one of the problems. Have you talked to him about it? Did it happen before marriage or you waited until the wedding night to do it? Oh well, it's either you live with it that way or nothing else...
ReplyDeleteIt is well.
ReplyDeleteYou guys dated.....how come you didn't notice this important detail...since you are already married, talk to him about it....he has to realize he is no longer a bachelor...or better still write him a letter... he will find it funny and romantic but he will change..trust me
ReplyDeleteAnother specie of human being......... U either find a way to teach him to cuddle or learn to be far away...........But how can someone not want anytin to touch him while sleeping.....
ReplyDelete.Moye says so via BB Passport...Courtesy LIB....
Another specie of human being......... U either find a way to teach him to cuddle or learn to be far away...........But how can someone not want anytin to touch him while sleeping.....
ReplyDelete.Moye says so via BB Passport...Courtesy LIB....
Better stay away from him and hug/cuddle your pillow if you know what's good for you.
ReplyDeleteI heard d same experience with my ex.we talked about it but he did not change so I have to let him go.U are married try talking to him.cos me I like cuddling wella.
ReplyDeleteOBYCHINA
Welcome to my world! I have a similar story but the difference between you and I is that I took my case to God instead of Libers! Ang guess what? He changed after a shot period. Some men re like that. I can tell you probably didnt engage in premarital sex before marriage else you would have noticed these traits you see now. If so, go to GOD in prayers ( it ll cost you nothing). Above all, your marriage isnt something to bring up on blogs and allow people you barely know give you advice (it is risky). God is the best person to turn to at times like this
ReplyDeleteYou where supposed to see that during courtship. well since you guys are still new, you might as well tell him .I belive he still cares enough to want you to be happy
ReplyDeleteHahahahaahhaha funny enof I hate cuddling too as a lady. I prefer my space
ReplyDeletedats y u should date before marriage.......seee......i tink u shud tell him dat tym he is happy craving for sex....dats during the touching and kissing....pls dont pretend....this is the right tym....before it gets late...if he stil refuse...dont hv sex wt him...tel him becos u want cuddle after it....to b honest,you guys will quarrel...after dat he wil come back....dont b d one to beg..allow him to come say sorry...from Rita Francis
ReplyDeleteAwwwwwwww
ReplyDeleteD only thing am sure I wil love to cuddle is my baby.wen I have one
ReplyDeleteThen marry another man who likes to cuddle....
ReplyDeleteU no cuddle am when una dy date???
ReplyDeleteNobody here has the answer to your question. it is up to you to pray and work your marriage the way you want it. Talk to your husband lovingly and humbly about how you feel and what you like.
ReplyDeleteTalk to him! Tell him what u want!
ReplyDeleteWow dint u knw dis bout b4 u married...oyo lowa ooo...go talk 2 him nd explain hw much u love cuddling maybe he wuld understand...nd if he doesnt go nd buy teddies nd cuddle...
ReplyDeleteKeep trying one day he will notice Dat u like cuddle. I was once in ur shoe but with time every tin was perfect
ReplyDeleteYou just have to talk to him
ReplyDeleteLet him know how you feel
If really loves u he will change for you
Hmmn! Sis I must confess I do same as a man. I ve also realised I do it mostly with people I don't really like/love. Their touch after sex gets me irritated and makes me uncomfortable. But then when I am with somone am so compatible with, our body chemistry speaks for itself and it's cuddling all the way. If you also check it, you will observe that you sometimes force sex on him which he sometime reluctantly accepts just to be a man. Its not far fetched dear, your hubby is not so compatible with you and am afraid you can't force it...thanks
ReplyDeleteTalk to him and mak him understand dat u like cuddling
ReplyDeleteAuntylindagoddaughter
That's men for you sweet in relationship, bitter in marriage. that's why linda is scared of marriage.
ReplyDeletevisit deborachidume.blogspot.com
Keep talking to him about it. He will change one day.
ReplyDelete$.
$.
@Mr Endowed via Lumia phone
Talk to him, buh wait o u did nt notice dat wile dating him, u av never spent a nyt wt him bfor u guys got married?
ReplyDeleteIf theres no light cuddling causes heat nah! And even if theres light eida ur neck or hand is hurt...so allow him be..
ReplyDeleteWell, I think u should talk to hm about it try to make him undastand. Bt if he doesn't u'l have to accept hm d way he is, he's ur husband nd der's no turning back. Jst try to fix tns nd enjoy ur marriage. Goodluck to u dear...
ReplyDeleteMadam, cuddle your pillow.
ReplyDeleteMy dear sister I think you should just talk to him. His your husband and I think you should have studied him to know how to make him do what he has never done before, use the Strength of a Woman.
ReplyDeleteChange is the only constant thing. One person will definitely get used to the other sha! It's just a gradual process.
ReplyDeleteTry and understand him.
ReplyDelete.
Talk to him in wisdom, so pray to God about it he is your man woman
ReplyDeleteDats crazy.....he has 2 learn it n u should ave noticed it while dating. Mayb u never slept ova @ his place or vice versa buh dah kinda Wld not lyk long hugs. Pray he changes or u 4get d cuddling.
ReplyDeleteNewly married wife,
ReplyDeleteyou need to learn how to table your problems with your husband not the third party. Marriage has up and down things lady but it's very sweet if you manage to pass this stage you are now, see you.
Hmmm the matter wear coat oo! I suggest u hand him over to God.
ReplyDeleteI'm a woman and I don't like cuddling. Don't really think it's strange either. Plus when yall were dating, was he cuddling?
ReplyDeleteDid u notice this when u guys dated? Or u never never just spent time in bed together
ReplyDeleteMarried people it for you
ReplyDeleteExactly why two people should know themselves better before tying the knot. Well counseling dey..
ReplyDeletetesting testing 1,2.....mic check..
ReplyDeletelol
lol....its gonna be very difficult to convince him cus his not comfortable with it...
ReplyDeleteToo bad
ReplyDeleteAnd you should get your cuddles,cant really.tell.How ur courtship or dating period was like,but I think dis is something u should have noticed then,talk to him about it n if dat doesn't work,get a huge ass teddy bear...just until he comes around.lol
ReplyDeleteSuck it up, every man prefers that distance after sex..
ReplyDeleteQ.
LOL!!! my dear you have to adapt cos two of u r from different background. the reason why am laughing is that i have same issue when i first married my wife, she likes cuddling and i hate touching while sleeping. let him be for now. let him cuddle u on bed before sex and before he sleeps and once he's asleep let him be to avoid trouble i guess with time he will change. marriage is give and take, there is no perfect marriage.
ReplyDeleteYou didn't notice that before marriage? Courtship is really important before marriage.
ReplyDeleteDidn't u know that before marrying him, or u want to claim u waited until marriage to make love. Its obvious u guys rushed into marriage without knowing much of each other. if its a habit, its hard to change but keep trying. in d mean time buy a large stuffed animal to cuddle at night. #goodluck#
ReplyDeleteIs God dat will punish any man dat is formin luv nd care wen datin n will change wen married.... Oga cuddle d woman bfr anoda man do m.
ReplyDelete~@iamjbankz SA to President Jonathan 2015~
He must be a mad man...lol!
ReplyDeleteMe too.....dnt cuddle me...dnt joke wit ma sleep. Its nutin woman. Pack well!
ReplyDeleteYou should ve observe these things during your courtship, abi una no fuck before the marriage things?
ReplyDeleteWhy worry naaa? when you can cuddle your dog.
ReplyDeleteOk he either has some gay tendencies or is just a plain selfish maggot!
ReplyDeleteJust chip it in during the day in a conversation with him and let him know what he's denying you of. Hopefully he'll come around..
ReplyDeleteEyha Pele. If he does cuddle with yu before yu guys gt married and now stopped cuddling after marriage my sister it means he's getting tired of you n the marriage might not last.... be getting prepared for Woteva might happen. #Lobatan.
ReplyDeleteIts not the most comfortable sleeping position actually. Just explain you like to feel his warmth and then maybe spoon him. My husband isnt a fan of head on chest cuddling all night so that was our middle ground. Pele welcome to the married world
ReplyDeleteE get as e be o! How is it possible dat you are just noticing dis after marriage, una no court & make luv b4 marriage. I dey always talk say: ANYTHING YOU TOLERATE IN COURTSHIP CAN'T BE CHANGED IN MARRIAGE. Linda take note!
ReplyDeleteDat means u guys neva dated and u jumped into marriage like dat. Cos if u have, u could have let it out from d begining to him. just live with it or u might get another bad experience
ReplyDeleteDon't worry he 'll change...
ReplyDeleteHmmmm dis is serious ooo cos cuddling is also a sign of love and I like been cuddle also so u better sit ur man down and have a chat with him ooo and aside dat u guys were dating b4 marriage and u should have known d kind of person ur husband was b4 u say "yes I do" to 4ever, uguys had courtship b4 marriage na
ReplyDeleteE get as e be o! How is it possible dat you are just noticing dis after marriage, una no court & make luv b4 marriage. I dey always talk say: ANYTHING YOU TOLERATE IN COURTSHIP CAN'T BE CHANGED IN MARRIAGE. Linda take note!
ReplyDeleteNormal. I hate cuddling too
ReplyDeletelagos virgins are all herel
E get as e be o! How is it possible dat you are just noticing dis after marriage, una no court & make luv b4 marriage. I dey always talk say: ANYTHING YOU TOLERATE IN COURTSHIP CAN'T BE CHANGED IN MARRIAGE. Linda take note!
ReplyDeleteHis gay...
ReplyDeleteIts only him that can get your cuddles for you,you're married now and it stays that way,talk to him about itm just keep telling him how bad u want it more than sex itself
ReplyDeletePost a Comment
E get as e be o! How is it possible dat you are just noticing dis after marriage, una no court & make luv b4 marriage. I dey always talk say: ANYTHING YOU TOLERATE IN COURTSHIP CAN'T BE CHANGED IN MARRIAGE. Linda take note!
ReplyDeleteDid he just pick a desperate you and said come and marry me and you guys just got married. Or do you guys belong to a strict doctrine of religion that forbids dating? For me, only those two reasons make sense to me cos how come you are just finding out.
ReplyDeleteIf it's the latter then the God that asked you to abstain from premarital sex will surely be the only one that can fix that and work out a beautiful marriage for you guys just with the imperfections
This is something you should have known, u dated the man before marrying him how come u never knew he doesn't like cuddles. Sweetheart u should talk to your husband maybe he'll have a rethink, U're his wife for Christ sake not his girlfriend so he should get used to you coz that's the face that will always wake up beside him till like forever
ReplyDeletelook at the subject alone.. is that an issue?
ReplyDeletecope with his kind of person abeg and stop nag
look at the subject alone.. is that an issue?
ReplyDeletecope with his kind of person abeg and stop nag
My dear,ur husband is my like,not that is bad to be cuddle,but I don't just like it wen sleeping
ReplyDeleteI don't like cuddling too, u will have to adapt, in stages of marriage, there is adaptation stage! Dat shld help
ReplyDeleteI don't like anyone breathing on me in the name of cuddle. I like my space. Didn't you date him? Well sorry guess you have to endure this. It is what it is.
ReplyDeleteShalom in Nigeria, Amen.
Am a lady but I don't like anything touching me while sleeping don't feel bad that doesn't mean you're not loved
ReplyDeleteChaii, am feeling ur pains
ReplyDeleteTell me what you like & say it politely
ReplyDelete#Commenting thru Glo 4G LTE
Who the hell cares ??
ReplyDeleteMake sure you do every cuddling touches and kissing before you make love.
ReplyDeleteAlso before you go to bed make sure you play in your living room so that you might have a lot of touches yourself before you make love
Did u have a short gun marriage?If not,U should have known that about him.I think U should just learn to give him his space while praying that he'll improve soon.pls don't Nag about it cos it'll only make it worse!
ReplyDeleteGosh! Are u f**'king kidding me... How come u dint knw all that b4 u married him? A thing about knowing the basics b4 u enter.......
ReplyDeleteNa wa ooo... marriage is totally different from dating that is why it's best for you to get ready mentally and emotionally for what you are about to enter if not you will feel trapped and deceived after one month sef..
ReplyDeleteWho collect your.cuddlus?
ReplyDeleteMy dear, i know exactly how you feel, but you see sometimes what we expect in marriage is not what we get when we re married. So my dear, if he doesn't want to cuddle u in bed, don't worry too much just let him be, u will get use to it with time.
ReplyDeleteLinda go pick up ur sista @lauraikeji twerking for solid star. I've always wondered what she does for a living all dis while though...Me no want ur giveaway o,so if u like don't post this...
ReplyDeleteMake sure you do every cuddling touches and kissing before you make love.
ReplyDeleteAlso before you go to bed make sure you play in your living room so that you might have a lot of touches yourself before you make love
ITS REALLY TOO EARLY FOR YOU TO SAY THAT MARRIAGE IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS . I HAVE REALIZED THAT COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE. BOTH OF YOU HAS TO TALK IT OVER.YOU CAN TALK HIM INTO LIKING IT.TRUST ME EVERY MAN WANTS TO MEET THE NEED OF HIS SPOUSE IN ALL THINGS I MEAN IN ALL THINGS.
ReplyDeleteMake sure you do every cuddling touches and kissing before you make love.
ReplyDeleteAlso before you go to bed make sure you play in your living room so that you might have a lot of touches yourself before you make love
eventually,leave him
ReplyDeleteWhoa.....divorce him lol, oboviously didn't mean that....buh u really av to talk 2 him about it.. If u don't commuincate about it 2 him he wuld feel wah's he's doin is nt bad. All u av 2 do is talk
ReplyDeleteLmao welcome to marriage most men don't like to cuddle after sex get used to it
ReplyDeletebabe, the truth is this; men generally don't like to cuddle, especially after sex or when we want to sleep. get with the program, your case is not peculiar
ReplyDeleteHeey Babe...Did'nt you guys date? or you never had cause to be close(not necessarily having sex) before marriage, to talk about likes and dislikes and practicalise some. please let him know how you feel about this as communication is key. if he still refuses then ou have to live with it and cuddle your pillow as you are supposed to know some of these trival things before marriage.
ReplyDeleteAbeg am sometimes pissed at what pple bring to this platform as their issues.
Get a big pillow to be cuddling because its gonna be for a long time :))
ReplyDeleteDr PopE
I can cuddle
ReplyDeleteGet a big pillow to be cuddling because its gonna be for a long time :))
ReplyDeleteDr PopE
Hmmm,some men are like that but its not too good.
ReplyDeleteyou never start! u will see more things that will make you cringe. I wish i lived with my husband before marrying him, i would not have married him! He is a dirty and lazy buffon!
ReplyDeleteHahaha
ReplyDeleteSome ppl re like dt
Its just 4 months
He go change no worry
Hmmmm nawa...for me reverse is the case oh wen sex is over we can cuddle and kiss for a while but u dare not move close wen am sleeping. I dnt think that should be a problem so long as he satisfies you in bed. Work it out babe marriage is sweet!
ReplyDeleteIts not his fault. Am not a man but I hate cuddling eh! I hate anythn touching me while am sleeping_i'd rather sleep on d floor if I have friends over than share my bed. Dats just it and I dont know if any man can change dis. So try to understand and maybe let him hold u a little till u sleep den unwrap u n sleep if he cares about u. Just have a heart to heart with him, if he loves u n care abt ur feelings, he will definitely find a way around it.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm nawa...for me reverse is the case oh wen sex is over we can cuddle and kiss for a while but u dare not move close wen am sleeping. I dnt think that should be a problem so long as he satisfies you in bed. Work it out babe marriage is sweet!
ReplyDeleteThis is hard, I think u shld talk 2 him, if he really cares he'l cuddle u @ 1st den mayb wen ur asleep later let go of u unconsciously, dats hw itz done, cuddling is inconveniencing most tym 4 men. Hope he changes doe.
ReplyDeletePray, with God all things is possible my dear take hrt
ReplyDeleteWho says cuddling is the way to sleep? That's TV something. He doesn't like to cuddle and its not a sin. So I advise you to negotiate with him. Let him hold you immediately after sex and when he is ready to sleep he can disentangle himself. Comprendo?
ReplyDeleteHmmm. Certainly not gonna be easy 4 u. Keep talking to him and make him try it.
ReplyDeletePls sit him quietly n tell him this is like d smallest thing u have seen in marriage n u r running to the world already for stupid advice. Go n buy good book on marriage n read n stop waiting our time here. Is too early now very soon na u will say he is maltreating u. Na so e dey start.
ReplyDeleteerrmm one question ooo...is it that you didn't notice this before you got married to him or what?? what advice are you expecting from LIB readers now? to tell you your husband doesn't love you or that he's having an affair?? Woman abeg it's to early to start complaining...work things out with him instead of looking for something where you didn't drop it.
ReplyDeleteDunno about other people (or maybe I don't know the correct position), but cuddling in bed is actually uncomfortable. After a minute or so, it's as if a dead weight is resting on you. You start feeling as if your shoulder and chest is about to collapse (ever tried holding a mere 5kg dumbell up for just 10 minutes? A human being is probably like 50kg minimum). Na all ds oyinbo films dey cause all ds kain funny expectations of how a marriage should be. @ poster Marriage nor be storybook o, ehen
ReplyDeleteYour husband is like me too. When I want to sleep, I don't like anything touching me else I won't be able to sleep. So pls bear with him sweetie, its who he is. It doesn't mean he don't love u.
ReplyDeleteTry talk to him,I understand how u feel,its a terrible experience
ReplyDeleteJst went i thought am d only one.. My bf does dat,shud i bck out nw dat am nt fully committed??.. Cos i was thinking he wud change wen we ar married,reading dis nw scares me
ReplyDeleteThere is fire ooo...why does he want you far from him after sex?some men sha oo,jst talk some sense into your man,make him understand ooo,God bless your home
ReplyDeleteLol@I need my cuddles.........all dis should av been discussed b4 marriage sis, I doubt he can change from who he is....even if u try to talk him into it, it can only last for sometime b4 he goes back to been himself, how about the ones dat doses off without even knowing u exist? Anyway, all d best and pls start getting use to ur new found love*winks
ReplyDeleteVERULE Says-u shuld hv kn. Him durin datin period nw u wont force him 4 it. "Beautifu is life""
ReplyDeleteLol....he's ur husband...u should be able to discuss just everything with him....tell him what u want and let him make corrections as the marriage is still early.
ReplyDeleteSowie. Kip trying.
ReplyDeleteLol...You no know as e dey go before?sorry ooo!!! Let him know you need your cuddles or how do we help you tell him?
ReplyDeleteEmm Wen u guys were dating ehnn didn't u guys cuddle at all..well anyways he must be a very agile person sha.buh Mr husband change adjust for your wife pls so that ur marriage would be a great one and yea its forever
ReplyDeleteLinda ikeji, u are such an ass kisser! Chronic lesbian. Fake fool
ReplyDelete#BRINGBACKMYCUDDLES#
ReplyDeleteEyaa. Wat can we say? It's the way he grew up. I too don't like to be held wen am sleeping, doesn't mean I don't love my man. It's a psychological thing. carita4real@gmail.com says so
ReplyDeleteU need cuddles! He doesn't need cuddles! He can't always like wat u like dt doesn't make ur marriage bad or ur husband bad, u don't know if he hass issues bothering him at work and all u re thinking abt is hw to choke d man to death with cuddles! Pls buy a tedddy bear
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha, your case is not a big deal I guess u need to talk more with him and may be know his reason's *nwa madiba*
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLol @ I need my cuddle.
ReplyDeleteHow will u sleep well if ure cuddling while sleeping
ReplyDeleteGet a teddy bear to cuddle with since ur husband wants u far from the bed ,,,,
ReplyDeleteas you don ask us nw omo e hard
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha! OTUoCHA. I laugh in China. ##########OTUoCHa
ReplyDeleteSimple...
ReplyDeleteCommunicate wit him.
Live with it. You cannot change him. I feel same after sex.
ReplyDeleteSome men don't really like to be disturbed while sleeping is normal dear, but talk to him and let him know how u feel bout it, I for one am not comfortable with someone holding me while sleeping because I roll like almost 100 times
ReplyDeleteDid you just marry a random stranger? If you guys dated, you would have noticed or you were the type that got married because others are married? A guy who does not hug/cuddle his lady is not into her. Yours is not an exception. Ladies please take your time and get married to the best man because if you don't you will bear the consequences alone. Anyway, try and explain how the lack of cuddling from him makes you feel unwanted and see if he will change.
ReplyDeleteEhm,u knw,the thing is...well,I think,hmmmm..babe I don't knw wt to tell u.rest
ReplyDeleteIt's not by your power, you should go to God and pray cos if yu want to endure this forever things has to change. It's only God that can change that. Or you want to look for a lover outside ur home? Nt Advisable The ball is in your court
ReplyDeleteAwwwww..... I get you ma'am
ReplyDeleteHe love sex but hate cuddling. Dat ur guy nor love u o....I MST tell u d truth.
ReplyDeleteFirst things first were u aware of this before accepting his proposal? If yes then u re in this already, if no then I think there is a problem go see a therapist then pray
ReplyDeleteYou shld av examine all dis during courtship,or ther was none?
ReplyDeleteYou guys for counselling asap.Some guys are so guilty of that!
ReplyDeleteHahahahahah. My dear as soon as you say I do, the game becomes different. It is still early for u to start complaining; I therefore suggest you discuss it with him. If he truly doesn't like being cuddled learn to cope without it.
ReplyDeleteI'm one guy that don't like cuddling after sex..... it doesn't change my feelings for the girl, but I just wanna sleep.
ReplyDeleteLol. @I need my cuddles. #Bringbackourcuddles!
ReplyDeleteSit him down nd beg him dat u like cuddling,I hope he will listen
ReplyDeleteJst manage
ReplyDeleteI am like dat too, dnt like anything to touch me wen am sleeping
That's strange.. Don't know what/how to advise you on this issue.
ReplyDeleteMy few cents will be to talk to him about it during the day; when he's in a happy mood. Make a conversation (don't nag him) abt it but in a comfortable way for him to be able to open up.
Blessed day to us all...
He doesn't love u.
ReplyDeleteDid u not date him b4 u married him?
ReplyDeleteThings you don't know about jonathan and buhari click here >>> http://goo.gl/7c8jvF
ReplyDeleteGet ten more pillows and teddy bears dear....sit him down and talk calmly and with love to him...and pray.
ReplyDeleteYou all should wish me well as I celebrate my birthday today!!
ReplyDeleteBe patient,with time he will come around.keep telling him gradually and find out his reasons,dnt push him.Cheers.
ReplyDeleteget a pillow and cuddle...I dont like cuddle too .I got married last year. if that's the case u dont have issues. what about those that the husbands abuse everyday.
ReplyDeleteAre u a baby... free him joooo
ReplyDeleteGive him some time, give him his space. Most men like their space. And while you are at it, get yourself a big fluffy teddy bear cos when the babies start coming you won't even bother about his cuddles anymore.
ReplyDeleteAm Not Sure u. Dated him b4 u guys got married na... nd if u guys dated,den u must hav Takn note of all dz nd knw if uar ready 2 do Witout it 4d rest of ur life. Na,u berra stop complaining nd live wit it like dat............ NB 2d. single ladies dnt Rush in2 marriage court 4. @least 1yrs b4 u strt makn marriage plans.... Mrng LIB Readers
ReplyDeleteSame thing with my man, so annoying.
ReplyDeleteYou do not only need your cuddle you need prayer as well.
ReplyDeleteThere most be someting that makes him to keep a distance after sex. Ask him and talk to God about it.^#
Dat shuld nt disturb u coz some pple no mata wht regret havin sex dat is wen d most v finishin doin it nd dat is y he is reactin dat way.
ReplyDeleteIt's not peculiar to him: some men exhibit such tendencies. They tend to develop temporary repulsion or hatred for a lady after sex. Some try to suppress and hide it while some just play it out (depending on how much he adores u). But I believe, if he truly loves you, he wouldn't be letting that tendency for repulsion get the better part of him. Question his love for you: that's the problem playing out here!
ReplyDeleteLinda like seriously are u a 'winch'? I wanted to send u a mail concerning this type of scenario in my relationship because it's really causing problems for us. After sex,i hate to talk to my fiancee or have her wrap her hands around me but she likes exactly d opposite and it's causing problems for us. Not that I don't wanna change,but I don't know wen I doze off or wriggle myself outta her grip. Wat do I do?
ReplyDeleteDid he cuddle u while u were d8in? If yes den hez loosing love 4 u, if no den dats his nature, u saw it b4 u got married so y complain now? Dats how he is. Well dats my take on dis post
ReplyDeleteThings you don't know about jonathan and buhari click here >>> http://goo.gl/7c8jvF
ReplyDeleteThis is so serious........After intimacy? Pray to God
ReplyDeletefor help, keep telling him you love to cuddle.
Lol..funny bfr u got married...u guys never spent d nyt togeda???n even if he faked it for d while. He wuda mentioned in d long run.duno anyways. If sm1 doesn't feel comfy wit smth..it takes a whole lot of convincing to change d person s mind.esp a man. never b far away from prayers too
ReplyDeletePls cuddle ur pillow & stop disturbing us wit irrelevant issues. I personally dnt feel comfortable wit a man's hands wrapped around me all through the nite. I feel stalked. So jst try to live with it & stop making it an issue. All d best.
ReplyDelete@Sophia Stephen
OK! Now this some real sh*t.
ReplyDeleteThings you don't know about jonathan and buhari click here >>> http://goo.gl/7c8jvF The Watch
ReplyDeleteSorry dear,but some men are like that,learn to live with it.
ReplyDeleteehyahh sorry
ReplyDeleteWomen & dia wahala mmmttttcccheeewwwww
ReplyDelete*oparoescalade*
Women & dia wahala mmmttttcccheeewwwww
ReplyDelete*oparoescalade*
Linda pls post my earlier comment.thanks
ReplyDeleteI like cuddles too. Everyone likes cuddle, didn't you notice that b4 marrying him? This seems to be part of him that will never change. I'm so sorry
ReplyDeleteIs really a sad one I must say, cos it interprets a deep emotional chemistry when a man is comfortable with his partner after sexual engagement and translates otherwise if this doesn't happen after sex.. But the truth is people have different sexual behavioral pattern and u as d opposite sex in the marriage can build and work on this, with time he might get over this obscure behavior and change.
ReplyDeleteRemember, this is a marriage not a mere dating affair, so this should be one of the things u get to know about ur partner and see how u can work towards changing it together as couples..
Don't blame him nah! D weather is hot. When it gets cold he will be luking for u to cuddle
ReplyDeleteTell him you are a woman who need to feel protected, loved and adored and cuddling is one of them. Its like a safe way to say "Baby, feel safe in me for i am here and will always be" ring it to him until he finally sees its necessary.
ReplyDeleteDidn't you know this when you were courting or you never slept over in his place and had sex? If you did, and you failed to address it before marrying him, then you should stop complaining. Unless he pretended and lied to you throughout your courtship. If he pretended or lied, then try to find out other things he lied or pretended about, and find a way to get his maximum attention in order to address everything now before it's too late. Shallom!
ReplyDeleteCommunication is key.....Tell him how u feel
ReplyDelete"Heaven on earth!!!Wonders without end,that's my new realm"
@Galore
Nice work linda!
ReplyDeleteThe watch: Things you don't know about jonathan and buhari click here >>> http://goo.gl/7c8jvF
Soooo funny. Get real babe. Most men don't like cuddling. The sooner u realise that not cuddling doesn't mean you have a bad marriage the happier you will be. Do a survey and ask your friends who are married they will laugh it off bcos that is so not a problem. I heard this from many friends before I married so wen I got married and it happened it wasn't a shock to me. When you have a husband who hates sex then you have a problem or he likes cuddling but sleeps around then you know this "problem" of no cuddling is bliss
ReplyDeleteMy dear, there's nothing u can do about it. Just accept him for who he is cos he's neva goin to change.
ReplyDeletePoster you are not alone o. Mine all of a sudden after marriage claim he doesn't like kissing!! What? (He only wants to kiss me in public to show off cos I am fine like that!!) He doesn't like so cuddling!!! What? and so many thing we did in our short period of courtship. It killed my sex drive tbh and i became bored. He complained, I complained too. Somehow we have been married for 6 years with 2 beautiful kids. Aside from his flaws in bed, he is the kindest man I know and he understands my personality.
ReplyDeleteIdiot!!! Don't u guys cuddle before u get married? You just marry someone without knowing if he's romantic or not? Smh. Abeg carry ur cross dey go jor
ReplyDeleteYou had berra learn to sleep without your cuddles if u wanna sleep with your husband
ReplyDelete