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Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Nigerian men are always in a rush when it comes to sex- sex expert says

Sex Therapist, pastor Funmi Akingbade says the average Nigerian man is not the most patient lover. In an interview with City People magazine, pastor Akingbade said Nigerian men see foreplay and other activities before intercourse as a waste of time. She says to have a bliss marital life, great sex must be incorporated and that the woman should not be seen as an object just to 'release' into.

Excerpts from the interview below.. 
How would you describe the Nigerian man when it comes to sex?
The Nigerian man is always in a rush when it comes to sex. They rush into it and quickly rush out once they "come". Every driver that wants an accident-free trip must drive safely, know his road signs, have good driving skills and be a good observer. This is also true with sex because marital sex is a journey and not to be done in a rush. Those who want to succeed in marriage give their sex life a lot of attention and sex is what makes it different and wonderful. So, for no reason must a spouse "beg" or "plead" for sex from her partner. Rather, good sex should be given mutually at all times" Continue...
Why then do you think that the Nigerian man rush into and out of sex?
Even though a penis is controlled by the nervous system, it still has a mind of its own. Every woman loves foreplay  but the African man has not much time for those sweet touching of a woman's body or genital before sex, they see it as a waste of time. If men tend to rush through foreplay, if at all they want to do it, they do it mildly and hurriedly. This is because they are ever ready the moment they have an erection. Delaying intercourse when they have an erection and a willing woman nearby? That sounds idiotic to them because they see it as a waste of their precious time. A true Nigerian woman is not frigid. It is the way and manner a Nigerian man, lets say a black man, gives sex to her that makes a black woman frigid. A Nigerian man goes out from his own point of need and not from the woman's point of need. They rush into the woman's private part and rush out. They see the woman as an object to release into. They don't care whether she has an orgasm. All they are after is about themselves. They fail to realize that she has her sexual Libido which should be touched or aroused before dipping their manhood into her. But we let them know that they should never rush the woman. A man should ask a woman to give him different styles and positions during sex. She should be free to ask for sex whenever she feels the urge. Our men should allow the women to have sex the way they enjoy doing it too. It shouldn't be just the Adam and Eve style where the man commands her to open and raise her legs and all of a sudden he rushes inside immediately. This means she has just been legally raped. Ask a woman what she wants in bed or during sex, she will tell you she wants to be romanced, touched, kissed, she wants to be friendly. She wants to be bounced with her partner first and this will really make her come easily and sweetly. She will never be frigid if the man presses the right buttons in her because sex to a woman is emotion and she can trade sex for affections because he wants sex. The moment she gets affection from her man, she will be able to open up well for her man to come inside her. So a woman you can easily go into her heart is a woman you can easily get into her legs. Before sex, a woman will want the man to start with talk even if the talk is not relevant but she just needs your attention. She will want to be touched all over but not immediately at the main point of her body so that so it does not appear like you are only interested in getting in-between her legs. Give her the attention, get bonded, get connected first because she wants to feel you. So sex to a man is a show of love he derives during sex or after the sex while that of a woman is a show of emotion she gets before sex. So if you don't understand what a woman really needs in sex, she will tighten her legs and lie down like a log or dead body lying in state because she is not feeling the man emotionally" she said

176 comments:

  1. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee. wRONG fact. This does not apply to all men. So wrong

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    1. Even the scriptures teach us not rush our wife. We are distinct from other species.

      From AK

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    2. See under age talking, are U a man.

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  2. She's so right dey re so not romantic

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    1. As in eh, 2000% right! They think of only themselves during sex.

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  3. speak for yourself woman! what do you mean?!

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  4. In fact, she is in no authority to see Nigeria MEN are always in rush when it come to sex. Probably she is basing her fact on her sex experience with her own husband. Please i stand against this fact.

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    1. @victor, shut up nd learn more.

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  5. Hello pastor cum sex therapist, how many men have you experienced it with before coming to this conclusion.
    Abeg stop this fallacy of generalization.
    As for me,I make her cum first,then I follow the leader.

    ~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA LUMIA

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    1. Being a therapist, she would have talked to a lot more women who complained about the same thing. Try to use your head small.

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    2. Abi ooo, use your head, not the little head

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  6. she definitely have been giving therapy to d wrong pple,Nigerian men are d best in bed(dnt ask hw i knw).. by d way,dat 2nd pic is arousing...

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    1. You this small man!what do you know about sex?hahahah

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    2. Hmmm. How u take know? Yes I will ask ooo. 14yrs tinz.

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    3. Hmmmm. Your matter no get end.

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    4. Second pics na Linda work na

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  7. Which is funny because Nigerian men call themselves "men of GOD' inu the bible it's a sin to have sex before marriage"

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  8. Pastor, beta PREEQ never catch you yet that's why you get mind dey talk trash. Make Madingo hammer you then you go tell us whether na penis ministry be your calling.

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  9. Tell them. Sex is meant to be enjoyed by both sides. Men do not be in a hurry. Do some sensitization before anything.

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  10. true talk jare , I treat my girl right always,. emi

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  11. Gbam! True talk.

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  12. its true Develop your payment card

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  13. Well let us learn not just read. "Strictly for married couples(sex). 2 cor 12:21. BishopDammy#

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    1. Abeg, who are you. I'm a Christian but this your dropping verses is on another level

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  14. Lol! So damn right. De average Nigerian man is after dat sweet tin betwEen a woman's leg without considering de woman's satisfaction and dat is selfishness. But its too bad. Dats y most Nigerian gals havnt experienced orgasm for once even in marriage. Most times its not about de size of de man's propeller but how to use de propeller truly matters. Dat LIB reader complaining of how she dosn't Cum during intercourse with her fiance can now read dis and have a good chat with de man to find a solution to their problem. Nice advice from this therapist.

    I'm out. ***CATCH ME IF U CAN***

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    1. Maybe because they are used to paying for quick sex.:|

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  15. lmaoo pple that are always in a hurry probably dont have houses..they begged a frnd for houz key..so they dont want to waste time..I take it gently oo no rush............................#KingOfKings

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    1. Lolsssssssssssssssssssssssssss

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  16. This is so true!most men wld rush into it nd "come"b4 dey evn get started lmao....this is common!

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  17. Nice one , thanks for the lessons .....

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  18. I agree with u o ma'm!!! So true their body go dey shake like He-goat wey konji wan finish! Even if he just had sex d next round he wld still rush.. Why?? Nonsesnse! That bf annoys me with that! But d actual sex is wonderful *wink* just want more foreplay.

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  19. She's awesome, and very correct....Eat ur girl right!....

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    1. I second that, now......who wants tobe eating before the games?

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  20. True talk pastor. God bless u.

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  21. Hehehe. Issues. Well to an extent she is making a point, but when you know the game, your partner will never complain during or after sex..!!

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  22. WOMEN ARE SUCH COMPLICATED CREATURES. WHY CAN'T THEY ALL JUST BE LIKE US MEN? Lol jk. I had to learn how to please a woman s**ually the hard way. Glad it's paying of now. Gotta love our women! lol







































































    ~BADOO OF COVENTRY

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  23. ode. this applies to ALL men not just Nigerians. Or shd we also talk abt naija girls golddigging and disgusting sense of entitlement?

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  24. This is so true....

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  25. Awesome... How I wish Nigerian married men and women can pay attention to each other. Many do not understand the importance of sex in a marriage and take it for granted. Sex in marriage should be celebrated... like a ritual... starting slowing and picking up rhythm as it progresses, like a beautiful dance, like children ar play both partners should loosen up and give themselves to each other. Have sweet sensual music playing, dim the light, light incensed candles and have sweet delicious wine and food at the bedside.... Oh my GOD! You will die there! ... Eh**son

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    1. You gat it gurl! That's what I'm talking about. Usom, where are you?

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  26. It not a nigeria guys factor alone it nature itself.


    Breezy_p loving MTN

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    1. I sight you, international ashewo!

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  27. Na true talk.

    AYA LOTO

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  28. you say woman na sex expert,if I handle her she go bow

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    1. oooshey o baba handler. that woman na person wife.

      #Fizz

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  29. a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
    .
    Na true shah no doubt about that....
    .
    .
    ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***

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  30. SO.. As people were busy studying about how to make money in the University, what this woman was busy study is how to have sex!!!
    Women ndoo!!

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    Replies
    1. That's why they hv terrible marriages after making d money. Pay attention to little things that count most.

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    2. Mumu comment. People like you think say ma only Engineering, medicine and Law dem dey study for Uni. This woman probably employs someone, what has your degree done for anyone?

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  31. So true.Bonario,ed Dreamz,Onyx and co are perfect examples.

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  32. Replies
    1. @goldprecious
      It's not just Nigerian men, It's men in general. Men don't learn sex education in terms of trying to satisfy a woman, and women don't even let their men know that they can be satisfied. Women act as if sex is painful to them and only men cum.

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  33. She couldn't have said it better.

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    Replies
    1. @Cute G. Are you experiencing this problem? I can help you. A trial will surely make you cum.

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  34. Sure truth. I concur with d woman .

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  35. Why we no go dey in a hurry? We dey go somewhere now, abi u want us to dey waste time between your legs. Mtcheeeew!

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  36. Bottom line , naija men and African men in general don't knw how to treat a woman with love and respect and that's why African women grow to love African men less and less. At the end of the day, the African men still lose out coz they have women that don't have love for them at all coz of the way they treat these women.

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  37. Well said...lot learned.


    »_»_• \0/ ^FORTUNEDEXC£L@REDIFFMAIL.COM^ »_»_• \0/

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  38. Ewoo! Kudos to you....so true.

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  39. Not all Nigerian guys are in a hurry, I met this guy and his sole concern was to make me really enjoy our love making. he did a lot of foreplay, PDA, touching and sucking my clits, It was really cool that he tried so much. Unfortunately i could not come (BTW i have never felt orgasm).
    Hmmm... i wish i can come like every other regular babe.

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    Replies
    1. Some women take longer to 'cum'......so your man shud stay in ur 'paradise' a little longer and get the 'job' properly done

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  40. This is so true..Just sent this post to my bf..cos he's guilty of this rush

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  41. Plain truth, xpecially ol doz mechanic dm fit have sex wif a gal on air within 30minutes...
    Jux gt a standing ovation in my barack#erect

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  42. Hmmmmmmmmmm........cnt wait to get married to start enjoying sex....
    #imstillavirgin

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  43. The reason is simply because Nigerian women are also always in hurry...

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  44. True talk,truely an average african man is ignorant wen it coms 2 swt sex.....location of G spot is needed

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  45. Well, maybe true, maybe false. I knw am not dat type of guy sha ooo

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  46. They still won't listen,men are always greedy when it comes to sex....Its like their d**k is connected to their brain

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    Replies
    1. now you've spoken..

      a closed mouth don't get FED
      closed legs don't get HEAD

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    2. Of course, it's actually connected to their brain. Erection is controlled by the brain.

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  47. WORD MAMA- A woman you can easily go into her heart is a woman you can easily get into her legs

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  48. Hit me up for all your US shopping. Cost effective, fast and effective. I order what you want and ship to Lagos in a week. Send an email to ijeshopping@gmail.com. thanks.

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  49. Pastor my royal bubble butt self lubricating love to be rimmed love to be rammed by a BBC of monstrous proportions gay Mangina

    *** forst to comment ***
    Blacknfly@gmail.com

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  50. Naija ooooooooooooooooooo

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  51. This is so true,its a wake up call all Nigerian men.

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    Replies
    1. We refuse to wake up. We will continue doing it the same way. Nothing will change.

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  52. This is one of the best article I've read on this site.
    Nigerian men, most of them that is don't know Jack about the woman's body and satisfying her in bed. The best sex I ever had was with a Jamaican.
    Most Naija men all they want to do is stick it in, hump and pull out, leaving the woman totally unsatisfied. Some give sloppy kisses, even sloppy heads, some come with nasty attitude that brings down the woman's morale that the last thing on her mind is sex...Yet, she has to open her legs for the man. No wonder many women have never reached sexual ecstasy.

    Nigerian women are also to be blamed...why should a man spend time to satisfy you when you objectify your body as a commercial sex tool, looking for the highest bidder? He can't pay you and still satisfy you when you married him for money?
    Bottom line is good sex solves fifty percent of marital issues...I know cos I write from experience.

    Men please learn the body of a woman...learn to appeal to our emotions and needs in the bedroom.
    Women, stop using your body as a commercial sex tool.
    Nothing gives physical satisfaction as a good sex.

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    1. Na so the matter take affect you make you write essay kwa?
      Hoe!
      *** forst to comment *** Blacknfly@gmail.com

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    2. Thanks sis!!

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    3. U said it all

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  53. I lv her words
    #LIB Damsel#

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  54. Piece of bullish crap......(rolls eyes, passes gas & quickly walks off)

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  55. pastor pastor, how take know all this tings. By experience or ...... hehehe. Well said anyways.

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  56. Mmmmm, this is really tru abt african men

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  57. Most women dont even know how they want a man to touch them.
    Only few women knows what foreplay really means.

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  58. Replies
    1. @LEEZ, my love, you won't have that problem with me. I will do anything you want. ANYTHING to make you cum. Trust me.

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  59. Yea...that when she is your girlfriend naa...not for side chicks..lol

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  60. That is what my friends tell me. Thank God i am not married to one! And they say they cheat 24/7! Nah wao! I also heard they spend money on their mistresses more than their wives and children? God forbid!. You all can come and bark under my comment i won't come back and read.

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  61. That is what my friends tell me. Thank God i am not married to one! And they say they cheat 24/7! Nah wao! I also heard they spend money on their mistresses more than their wives and children? God forbid!. You all can come and bark under my comment i won't come back and read.

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  62. True talk... as most men don't know that foreplay helps man to last longer during sex as it prevent PE (Premature Ejaculation). Foreplay allows your to caress G-spot of your wife which will help her vagina to "grease" very well before penetration to avoid d Vagina being hurt.
    AS FOR ME... I ENJOY FOREPLAY THE SAME I ENJOY S*X

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  63. Teamwork without coordination bring confusion.

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  64. Linda must u post d 2nd pix that is so mind corrupting? U're making too much mess of ur blog wit all these stories about sex wen u no in d real sense kids evn have acess 2 d internet. Give ur life 2 God Linda and I pray u get a decent man 2 marry u. May God help u

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  65. Am a guy and it is True! We Nigerian men rush into sex and only selfishly look out for themselves.all the want is just to cum and get out...I know this cos after sex, every girl always complains about her previous guy's attitude during sex..They think am a god for putting them first! Lol..

    Secondly, women wud always be women! Either talking themselves up or talking a man down.
    Why didn't she touch on Nigerian women's attitude to sex.
    They believe their feminity is enough reason to make the session passionate. It is enuf for those who just want to cum but for a patient and passionate love maker, the average nigerian girl sucks real bad during sex..

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  66. True true true , their erection direct and control them

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  67. I'm sure Pastor Funmi is referring to her generation when she speaks of Nigerian men. Personally, I do loads of foreplay. And I know a number of Nigerian men who like "Sucking breast".

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    1. No be too suck breast o. How you suck the breast can add or hinder the sexual satisfaction.

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  68. From what u just said, d Woman is Enduring what d Man is Enjoying

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  69. Ahhhh.....stop oooo....nt alwayz jare!

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  70. Rosie Said.....Hhmmmmmm"Dead body lying in state"

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  71. Madam we don hear you nau as if your husband no rush tidy you back then... Abegi go park ni.

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  72. Am really feeling this lady. She is so on point with her observations. Nigerian men make their women frigid cos of traditional African beliefs about what should obtain in marriage.

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  73. Yea she is on point!I personally can remba d last time my hubby get me to be orgasm is four years ago,dey rush in ad rush out.

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  74. EVERYBODY PLEASE LISTEN TO WHAT LINDA IKEJI DID TO ME..
    My name is Onyitex Joseph, owner of Onyitexblog.com... I Participated in LIB Giveaway for this month, and i was the first to comment.. Today, Linda Has Made me N25,000 richer.. I urge everybody to be serious in post engagement on LIB... There is so much to learn on this blog.. And to you, Linda, May God continue to Bless you.. We may not know each other, but Ive always seen you as my Role model, and my Goddess.. thanks for your gift.. I love you..

    ....LIB ALL THE WAY!...

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    1. So how much have you given to the visitors of your blog?

      Delete
  75. women sharing their views hehehe....I agree tho, I wouldn't dispute that personally cos its wah I do most times and not everytime... Wait a minute! This is same issue sugar berry or wah is she kald trying to address on twitter days ago... Guys pls change biko, I feel their pains.... INDIGENOUS LIB

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  76. Has she fucked all the men in Nigeria?

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    Replies
    1. Yeah! He fucked ur dad last 9te... INDIGENOUS LIB

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  77. Sex therapist and a pastor. Hmmm God please have mercy.

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  78. Story 4 d gods..therapist indeed so u Sabi all dese naim u neva write book mtcheew satisfy women keh I only care bouh ma hurge who fuck care hers. Bolton

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  79. True talk, tell them ooh.

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  80. U cldnt v said it better dear. The perfect attributes of a Nigerian Lover. So selfish and insensitive.They are only after dier own satisfaction. Hisss

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  81. It's well, my husband to be hope you are reading this.

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  82. The level raw sha.

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  83. U are right am, I love it when my man touch me in all area and make me wet before entering. I love to rich orgasm before or after sex.

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  84. Gbam. Nigerian men have no idea what love making is. Just open leg and stick their thing inside

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  85. Oh my oh my! I just faint and woke up! This woman is dem Hot. Honestly I feel her sayings. felixlino82@yahoo.com

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  86. She's so blunt.well said...angeleyez

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  87. Wow well said if only our male will understand dis.

    #Thatenuguchick

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  88. So true. I remember a couple of Ex GFs who the first couple of times we were together will ask what I did to them cos they had come to the point of thinking they could never experience sexual pleasure only to find their bodies responding in ways they never expected with me.

    For me, I don't know how to enjoy intercourse knowing I ain't giving pleasure to my partner. Intercourse is more fun when its engaging and you sip it slowly like fine wine.

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  89. True talk ma, pls tel them if they wil listen. They r alwaz in a hurry. Shiooor

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  90. I hope pastor chris can learn from this woman instead of acting holier than thou, including sending his wife to the uk insteading of living together and making good love to her rather than channeling his energy on adultery with those his church workers always seeking for his attention. Now see where all of these has landed him.

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    1. are you not an idiot? hw dis matter take concern pastor Chris?

      #Fizz

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  91. Haaaaa that is so freakin true... they will be rushing like something is chasing dem.. ki lo de...

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  92. This is very very true. Its true of me as an individual! But men! Wat do they care?

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  93. This is not true of all men. This brazen generalization is illogical.

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  94. Pls is sex d cure to ebola. Bastards..

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    Replies
    1. See ds bloody bastard calling others bastard. U need a very thick rope to go hang urself, cos u re gradually running mad.

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  95. Let me educate some people here especially ladies that are praising this woman because I have seen and gone deep into it. The problem is from the ladies I mean they originate most of the problems because Nigerian girls this days love money so much and they have turn themselves to prostituting and I mean almost all of them and can I say 90% of them. You will meet a lady today she will start demanding for money or for you to start making expenses on her head and sometimes they try to text you with unnecessary expenses and when you did not comply then you become no body in their face. Each time you invited her somewhere including your house she is coming with one problem or the other just to take money from you and if you take her out she can never spend her money on you rather she will demand and demand something that will cost you allot. If you happens to take her to a small joint then you become no body in her front and nothing will work out in fact consider the friendship over but in other African countries today woman still spend their money on Men including the beautiful girls and they are not that much selective as Nigerian girls do nor expect much from men in friendship in terms of cash. Do you know that even a visit a Nigerian girl will expect you to give her transport money including the working class girls to the extent of 2000 to 5000 Thousand Naira even when where she is going won't cost her up to 200 naira which she is not suppose to ask you at the first place and she can never spend her money on such journey which is too bad except asking from you. Nigerian woman love for money is the problem because most of them are into runs this days and you don't treat such a lady too nice nor pampering her.

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  96. Let me educate some people here especially ladies that are praising this woman because I have seen and gone deep into it. The problem is from the ladies I mean they originate most of the problems because Nigerian girls this days love money so much and they have turn themselves to prostituting and I mean almost all of them and can I say 90% of them. You will meet a lady today she will start demanding for money or for you to start making expenses on her head and sometimes they try to text you with unnecessary expenses and when you did not comply then you become no body in their face.

    Each time you invited her somewhere including your house she is coming with one problem or the other just to take money from you and if you take her out she can never spend her money on you rather she will demand and demand something that will cost you allot. If you happens to take her to a small joint then you become no body in her front and nothing will work out in fact consider the friendship over but in other African countries today woman still spend their money on Men including the beautiful girls and they are not that much selective as Nigerian girls do nor expect much from men in friendship in terms of cash.

    Do you know that even a visit a Nigerian girl will expect you to give her transport money including the working class girls to the extent of 2000 to 5000 Thousand Naira even when where she is going won't cost her up to 200 naira which she is not suppose to ask you at the first place and she can never spend her money on such journey which is too bad except asking from you. Nigerian woman love for money is the problem because most of them are into runs this days and you don't treat such a lady too nice nor pampering her.

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  97. How many men and women did you interviewed or is this from your personal experience?

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  98. She is talking of rape not mutual sex abeg. Or maybe she wnt to establish her firm

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  99. I love thiS woman for speaking my mind.

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  100. Wrong fact, this is a general problem most men all around the world and it is called premature ejaculation. Nigerian women don't like foreplay from my experience, you try to kiss the say no, you try to romance they say no. This woman should come let me handle her and see whether she won't come multiple times, and i am a Nigerian man.

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  101. She is a therapist, nd myt av encounter issues of related kind through counselling...d second pics madam lindsway is appealin i fink am gonna try dat style somday....wanks 2 it.

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  102. Abi oo,help me ask dem, "is sex the cure to ebola?" See the way every1 is talking about it.."Come" "cum" forplay, and the rest..if it were to be issue of boko haram now they will start mentioning north and south..mtseww..rubish..80% of those that comment on this are ladies..I wonder why.

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  103. Ppl dnt knw marraige is a pathway 2 sanctity.....she z sayin smtyn really important here...only d wise learn

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  104. My boo do it atyms, bt whatever way i always enjoy him

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  105. make up sex after an argument wid my boo makes me go crazy!!just a deep kiss wid FT makes me soooo horny..last nite wuz totally crazy

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  106. I will agree with the poster though not all men are ignorant of the fact that women need to be emotionally connected. My guy got me seriously disgusted sometime ago too when he simply removed only his trouser and entered me without caring to undress my full long dress. my reaction that day was really uncontrollable i pushed him off with disgust so much that i couldnt believe it myself. i confronted him why he will want to make love to me without undressing himself and me so we can feel each other? i felt used and angry. the poster may not need experience various men to make such generalization, it may be based on confessions from people she counsels. i agree with her because even after i reconciled with my guy later, he has not changed so much. he hardly gets me along sometimes i just let it be so we wont quarrel. please if there are men like him try to get your woman along with attention and closeness before sex, it makes it alot easier and keeps both happier. Romantic men sweep women off their feet totally, lets try it and make it good.

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  107. OH HOW I FEEL LIKE GIVING THIS WOMAN A KISS..SHE IS SO RIGHT..EVERY SINGLE GUY AV MET IS GUILTY OF THIS AND EVEN MY FIANCE..IF THEY TRY TOO MUCH TO TURN U ON ,THE MINUTE U START ENJOYING THE SEX , HE GOES POW POW SPLASHING HIS STUPID SPERM ALL OVER SHAKING LIKE A MUMU. REALLY MAKES THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HIM DRY UP. U MEN NEED TO COME DOWN FROM UR HIGH HORSES AND LEARN HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN IN BED AND SEE HOW SHE 'LL WORSHIP U, IT ALL STARTS FROM TREATING HER NICELY OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM. SELLA!

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  108. the men here are so bitter asking how she knows......she give classes and gets a lot of mails from women so her judgement is based on her findings......remain calm and learn cos a lot of your wives are complaining.....

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  109. Nigerian women don't like foreplay from my experience, you try to kiss the say no, you try to romance they say no they will not even undress themselves talk less of sucking a mans dick. How do you want a man to satisfy you when you are not caressing him.


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  110. & I took time to read all.i have LEARNT many things here both from the post and pple's comments. Thanks LIBers.

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  111. Let's talk about SEX!!! Lol

























    #BiafranSoldier

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  112. Madam abeg carry that your big nose wey be like trailer go sidon for shit.How many Nigeria men have you had sex with to draw a conclusion over this issue ? As far as I know,every woman in any country a Nigerian resides in would never let them be.due to their skills in bed.So,what is the frigid old wood wey water no dey her kpanjis again dey yan ?

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  113. she is right but women are just 2 fucking hard to please

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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the comment writers alone and does not reflect or represent the views of Linda Ikeji.

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