I need advice from matured minds please.I will make the long story short..I married at the age of 18yrs, and my husband is 19years olders than me. I already have 2 boys and 2 girls for him. We both came from a very rich family so money it not the issue here.
His
own problem is that his ego is as big as the mountains. Maybe young age
those days made me over looked a lot of things. Now I am older I have
come to realize that we are not meant for each other at all. His choice
of words are zero. He stopped me from work and said as long as he is
living I will never work. I should take care of the kids. Bear in mind
people he doesn't treat me badly physically. Actually he is those kind
of men that tells you how every Eve out there wants to have a piece of
him.. Bla bla bla!! Hope you now understand his type.
What
do I do? I am very unhappy living with a man I don't love anymore and
with 4 kids? Will I continue to live like this for the rest of my life?
People
please do not advice me to kneel down and keep praying, I need a
realistic advice not that I don't believe in the powers of prayers..
Most important I have no other man in my life and I am thinking about no
one. Check out just 33 yrs of my life living like this till when?
Somebody please help me..pleaseeeeeeeee.. I am living for my kids now, I
am about dying due to stress
of this issue..
It's a mind decision, don't torture your mind too much. If u still want to love him again, then pray obviously and talk to him atleast for the kids. But if not.. then make that decision you feel you won't regret. WS
ReplyDeleteGuess what u wanna hear is 'leave d marriage'..I've gat news for u,if he doesn't cheat on u,then u have no xcuse so continue living for ur kids! U laid ur bed..aint ntin stopping u frm lying on it! @X!!!
ReplyDeleteDo you still have space in your heart for him if he changes his attitude and begin to listen and respect your dignity? If yes, are you legally married? If yes file for a pre-divorce application.
ReplyDeleteI'll advice u guyz av a sit-down......if dat doesn't work den move d hell out.....u r supposed 2 b enjoyin ur marriage nt endure
ReplyDeleteHmmm. 'the older men' syndrome. When u went ahead to marry ur ancestor, u didn't know abi? U beta live with it forever. What God has joined together, no man should put asunder. Na ur cross. Carry am.
ReplyDeletemy dear anything you ain't happy doing dose nt worth the stress.as for me i wud advice yu to move on with ur kids.
ReplyDeleteGo back 2dos thinqz u used 2do 2qeda dat attracted u 2him b4. It may help. + u may choose 2 iqnore d eqo cos I feel daz wat actually quenched d luv. N talk him in2 allowinq u 2 work it will kip u busy n occupied.
ReplyDeleteGo back 2dos thinqz u used 2do 2qeda dat attracted u 2him b4. It may help. + u may choose 2 iqnore d eqo cos I feel daz wat actually quenched d luv. N talk him in2 allowinq u 2 work it will kip u busy n occupied.
ReplyDeleteLook your not a baby and u said it Ur self Ur now mature and u know what is right for u to do. Just sit him down and talk to him let him know how u feel,u both don't have to fight over nothing. Talk to him and explain things to Ur children. It not too late for u to start again,u don't have to displease Ur self. Do what makes u happy cos at the end of the day Ur happiness comes first. Do what's best for u for once and let the rest take care of it self.
ReplyDeletekeep quiet and continue with your marriage. this is a non issue. you have no problem at all.
ReplyDeletesophieee
Re-invent love. Divorce is not an option. Sit him down and tell him(nicely) how his attitude, talks and ways are killing u and that u r willing to work it out! If he doesn't change after months and not even trying to change, u'll sit him again and tell him u are about to divorce him! ALl the best dear, 15yrs of ur life aint joke!
ReplyDeleteAm sure a divorce will do
ReplyDeletemarriage is a life contract, i will never advice u 2 leave ur matrimonial home. keep on praying cos nothing prayers cannot do.
ReplyDeletethis is really serious n delicate. It's nat wah u can just b over with in a day xo i'll jux b plain...m sure u've parents who endorsed d union to start with,u were far young to get married. Y nat sit ur parents down n talk to them n tell how u feel if dey dnt agree,u cn go ahead and annul d marriage and ur kids,jux elope with them....goodluck
ReplyDelete:::::::david
Sorry sis, d deed is done. Wel u should learn 4rm ur mistakes nt 2 allow ur daughter marry at 18 moreover 2 som1 much more older than her.
ReplyDeleteSecondly u can pray u catch him cheating on u, so that u'l file 4 a divorce at least that is justifiable, bt u knw is nt d best. Unless is that bad.
Finally i knw u dnt want 2 pray much, bt u have 2. God is d only1 dat can change anybody, so b faithful 2 God nd just maybe he'l help u. Jisike
Get a Job! Go to school. Interact with other people. It will give you something else to think and about and it might be the key to your independence.
ReplyDeleteSorry dear but u took d marriage oath and you have 4kids...you just gotta endure...look on d brighter side,he's gettn older and he'll soon die(lol)
ReplyDeleteAt 18 that was way too young to get married, you had your whole life ahead of you and to marry a man 19 years your senior, that was something else. The thing is, sometimes marriages like this works, because the girls look at their husbands as gods, I guess that doesn't apply in your case. The big conundrum here is your kids, no matter what anyone advices you, you have to have them at the back of your mind, knowing that you don't want to alienate them. At 33, you still have a lot to live for, I'd advice you to leave your marriage, because an unhappy marriage is as good as no marriage. If you want to leave then make it a clean break but if you want to continue to stay, then I'd advice you take up a hubby, something to take your mind away from your marriage. I'd even advice you to talk to somebody close to your family about it.
ReplyDeleteI'll start off with, wot made u go into marriage at the age of 18 when your whole life is in front of u and u said you both cam from wealthy homes, if u decide to divorce him now there's no way it won't hv an adverse effect on ur kids....try going for marriage counselling with him, maybe that would help.....
ReplyDeleteBabes I hope u learn frm her story, quit rushing into marriage and get established love wud come eventually: get a job, get an MSc, experience change. Be happy! Life aint abt constants alwys bt varieties so make urs better!
ReplyDeleteAs for the lady in question, stop bein bored abeg! Play wt ur kids if ure dat bored...
~D great anonymous!
Prayer solve things,if not everything.Sit him down&talk to him,u packing out of your matrimonial home isn't the best.
ReplyDeleteI'll start off with, wot made u go into marriage at the age of 18 when your whole life is in front of u and u said you both cam from wealthy homes, if u decide to divorce him now there's no way it won't hv an adverse effect on ur kids....try going for marriage counselling with him, maybe that would help.....
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmmmmmmmm. When lovers become strangers. What makes you feel you will be happy after you leave him. You need to wake up to reality and understand what the institution 'marriage' is all about. Talk to a marriage counsellor.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm... ds one pass me n sincerely, I don't know what to advice but u have stayed wiv him since u were 18 n now u r 33, u just discovered u don't feel love for him...Am just gonna say try to rekindle what Lil love u ever felt for him when u guys were dating or newly wedded... wish u luck
ReplyDeleteI guess dis is wat u wana hear...dearie divorce him n live ur life..u r too young 4 all dis shit....
ReplyDeleteWhy would you marry at the age of 18?
ReplyDeleteAnd you married someone older than you by 19 years. You be Ozuo
U α̲̅я̩̥̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ vry realistic wit words so I will also be fair with mine but let me remind u, u already have 4 kids there α̲̅я̩̥̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ questions I need 2 ask you; 1. Α̲̅я̩̥̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ u ready 2 be single 4 d rest of ur life? 2. Have you ever think of wat outcome of divorce may bring? Most importantly you children consider them.... D last No reason single man will ever married you will 4 kids anyway u claimed money isn't an issue shaa! Maybe 4 dat u may find golddigger... But all dis into consideration, you'll find answer 2 ur problem. Best of luck in your decision cheersssssss!
ReplyDeleteSorry I can feel ur pain,that why I always tell people that it is better to wait than to regret meanwhile continue praying cos there is nothing impossible for GOD and for the sake of ur children u need to be strong more than before and I pray mercy of GOD will show in ur life.
ReplyDeleteIts obvious that u married young and didnt have enough dating experience. I wont ask u to park up and leave. You need to shock ur husband into knowing he could loose u for good. 15 years and 4 kids is a lot to give up for ur ego, I am sure he will look up when u do. Get a makeover, work out and be physically fit, wear more fashionable clothes, get a hubby even if its enrolling in a catering school. Reachout to old friends and have decent fun. When he notices that u are happy, more attractive and more condident, he is going to sit up and try to treat u better. You myt just find urself falling in love with him all over
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm.
ReplyDeleteFDJ
Well... No Lady prays for a broken home or unhappy marriage.. I wld advice u to follow ur mind, if u wanna walk out of ur marriage fine and if u think u can still cope with all u said fine too.. Or better still go and see a psychologist.
ReplyDeletemy dear, sit him down n talk to him, if it dnt work den involve both parents....if it still dnt work den divorce him, leave him for d eves dat can cotail his excesses k. Mennnn aint wotrh d pain
ReplyDeleteI think you should separate for a while maybe the love will come back or else you can slip into depression. But before then tell him what he does that you don't like and if he doesn't handle it well then take the break
ReplyDeleteeya, omo marriage is a different ball game.
ReplyDeleteIf u don't love him anymore n u think there is nothing he can do 4 u to love him, den explain tins to him n ask 4 a divorce. U cant live ur life in hell. People shud always try to make demsefs happy b4 making odas happy. If u re sad n u re making odas happy, u won't do it with contentment. So pls bi wise.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is, your options are limited and they are, either you stay on for your kids and live on as a dutiful 'not loving' wife while you let your mind explore some possibilities such as channeling all these emotions to a productive means. Or, you can actually leave the kids behind, leave the marriage behind and go explore whatever you think is out there. Just take note, you probably don't have a job, you are 33 and married with four kids. Relationship wise your options are limited because truly, other men will just want a piece of you but not all of you because you come with way too many extra luggage. However, that does not mean you won't find a man out there to actually accept you as you are. My advise is this, the grass is green where you water it not on the other side. So, look for something to either live or leave for cos truly, love is not what sustains "for better for worst" marriages, it is "FUST" - Friendship, Understanding, Sacrifice and Trust.
ReplyDeleteMy sincere advise to you would have been to opt out of the marriage, but this might affect your children depending on the kind of relationship your husband has with them. Keep pleading with him to allow you do something you have passion for & I'm sure you'll atleast have something to occupy yourself with most time.
ReplyDeleteEeyah I suggest u stick with him cos of the kids sake... Try something's different to make ur marriage work... Wish you all the best dear
ReplyDelete2 options ; u stay or u leave
ReplyDeleteu stay; u tryin make d best out of it or u kill ur husband, u leave, u just leave! i prefer u stay ad get urself a guy u did be cheating with. that ll make u happier. gud luck
Eeaya
ReplyDeleteI think you should separate for a while maybe the love will come back or else you can slip into depression. But before then tell him what he does that you don't like and if he doesn't handle it well then take the break
ReplyDeleteFrom wat I see here uv kind of narrowed down our options so I will giv u d 1 u obviously want 2 hear so bad LEAVEE
ReplyDelete******A-BELLE********
I will nt advice U to leave bcos of d kids n since u dnt ve any man in ur life as u sed u ve to stay n b prayerful cos dere is nofin Impossible for God to do.
ReplyDeleteJst do wat u feel is ya best option aii
ReplyDeleteDifficult situation.. are u independent enough to take care of your kids, I mean money wise? How old are your kids? If they are matured enough, you can explain to them and get a divorce at least to find your own way as you married at a very young age. I really don't believe in living in a loveless marriage.. perhaps he will take you more seriously when you tell him your leaving him and maybe he can try to rekindle the love that made you marry him.. best of luck in whatever you choose to do.
ReplyDeletewow. I feel very sorry for you girl. I don't believe in divorce but you sound so miserable and that's the last thing anyone should be. Why not try SEPARATION?
ReplyDeleteyou could try weighing the pros and cons. is ending the marriage worth having your kids be raised in a broken home? or do you think you'd be better off single. I feel bad for you that you've had to waste all these years of your life not working. he sounds the arrogant type.
at least you can learn from it and other people will learn from your story. you can't change a man. Only God can. and another thing men who think they are God's gift to women and even have the effrontery to tell you they can get any girl, beware of them. they are suffering from low self esteem. and such men tend to attempt lowering a woman's self esteem so they can feel better about themselves either through mental abuse and all sorts of mind fuckery. if he can truly, get any girl you would not feel the need to say it out loud.
Your life was jst starting wen u got married. 18? You said prayers is the type of advice u are looking n u can't leave him now becos of children. Wat do want us to say? My dear if you loved him once, u can still love him again. The man u fell in love with is still in dere. Goodluck
ReplyDeleteI had the same experience too. I was already pregnant. Mine was violent as hell, I took up courage, spoke with my parents and with their support I left. I was barely 21 then. Now I have a child and am still waiting for my own God given man. Pls speak with your family, let them guide you.
ReplyDeleteBabes, u'v got 2 do u! Even if na 2 involve ur parents u'v got 2 work cuz wen ur hubby jam miss independent, his excuse wil be he admires her work ethic n how she hs her own paycheck n is ambitious. Don't mind men o! Just start doin u first, get or job or somfin u luv doin, get out of ur kids shdows esp 4 ur durta or durtas so she doesn't end up blivin dt d life of a woman is 2 marry n rear kids only. Do u babes, its tym to do U! Signed "a marriied woman who knows"
ReplyDeleteu Hav already made then choice to stick to him in good or in bad.... jes pray to God for help n sustenance. besides, u cannot take d kids away from their father
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the club same here too
ReplyDeleteU claim u both are from rich home but u got. Married at 18 maning u may not have gone beyond secondary school. Am afraid u have to live with this because wit 4 kids, there is nothing u can do than to. Look up to your chikdren.
ReplyDeleteGo watch black American movies or read books dat relate to this....u'l get ideas from there...a good and happy home really depends on d woman #jst saying
ReplyDeletePlease dear I will advice you try and over look his weakness and begin to see his strenght and love him. Be positive. U see the problem is that you have already conditioned your mind that you are no longer game probably because you didn't taste life before you got married. I strongly believe that you are cheaply falling for someone else. Yes! So don't allow deceivers to push you away from your marriage because those children will live to hate you forever. The fact that you came from a rich home shouldn't make you to accept the headship of your husbandmen all have ego so be humble.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is you r idle,dat's y u hv these thots in ur head. Start up a business but if ur hubby still refuses, then enroll in a Gym. Working out will help u feel good abt urself and it'll relieve u of stress. Hope this helps.
ReplyDeleteDear, marrige is not a do or die issue, but it is advisable 4 u to remain becos of ur kids, consider ur kids 1st, 1st to comment
ReplyDeletemy dear dere is absolutely nothin u can do, m not crucifying you for gettin married @ 18 n u are still very young,bt dont eva think of gettin married again,cos that will b a grt threat to your kids...for their sake endure wateva you c there,just have it in mind that your children are ur husband,u can lure him into securing a shop for you then stock it up with goods,u will use dat to while away time...dont eva think of fornicating oooo,its a sin against GOD and HOLYSPIRIT..may God lead you tru
ReplyDeletehmmm..its a good thing that you are not suffering financially. My mom had the same problem so she left naija and my siblings and I left with her too. I dont know how you can do this esp if you are in nigeria where everyone will tell you to pray to love him (which can happen and if he changes too). you can talk to a marriage counsellor or get a divorce. you have one life. you can't stay in a bad relationship just for the kids. I know what my mum went thru with my dad and my siblings and I wanted her to leave my dad. So be good to yourself so your kids won't lose a mom from stress or worse ailments.
ReplyDeleteHE SOUNDS LIKE AN INDIVIDUAL WITH BACKWARD MENTALITY! SEPARATE AND FAST.
ReplyDeleteMy sis, who do u want to leave ur kids 4? Stay with ur kids n 4get abt luv or no luv pls. U guys av been living 2geda so pls cos of d kids ok.
ReplyDeleteI advice u take it to God in prayers, I know thats not what u wanna hear but my dear its the only better than choice than walking out of ur marriage because divorce isn't an option if u are a Christian
ReplyDeletePls keep ur relationship with God only hes the only one that can turn things around to favor u.if u believe u will receive.
U̶̲̥̅̊ guys α̲̅πϑ sit donw α̲̅πϑ talk. Marriage is all abt undastanding α̲̅πϑ connectivity.sit him down α̲̅πϑ pour U̶̲̥̅̊я̲̅ heart to him maybe he will undastand his faults α̲̅πϑ choice of word.
ReplyDeleteKneel down and pray... If you really believe in the powers of prayers. We are in an imperfect world and that is your share of it you have to deal with. Kneel down and pray!
ReplyDeleteThis is what happens when u get married too early...have u tried talkin to him abt his attitude?
ReplyDeleteLive forever like dat or who do u. Want to ake care of ur chilren for u. U ar not even old enuf yet. Kip dreaming
ReplyDeleteMarriage is not natural. It was man-made solution to curb population explosion.
ReplyDeleteWhen I started reading, I was going to tell you to manage d man, live for your kids , God and your job. But then u said he doesn't allow u work. That has got to be difficult. Think of what u like doing. What do u think you would want to do as a job. Then start doing it small small. Tiny tiny. Then ull have to zerorize it pride and humbly plead with him to allow you. That it's very small and won't take ur time. Cry set. That u need to so something else. U has his flaws buy he doesn't seem like a bad man. If u plead enuf, he will agree. Then u Can start small, pour yourself into it and derive happiness and fulfilment from it and from training ur children. As for d love for d man, just manage. U have no choice in dis country. So just manage and focus on getting d wok and it kids. All d best my sister
ReplyDeleteHmmmm with kids involved, I tink I need a councelor cos asking u. 2 leave him and d kids is totally absurd
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmmmn....and marriage keeps looking scary with the stories I keep reading.
ReplyDeleteIt is rather too late my dear......this is someone u av 4kids with,pls I beg of u,don't break your home! Instead pray to God to help rekindle the love that has been lost k
ReplyDeleteShalom!!!
Woah,u married too early and under pressure.And its a big minus that u dont have a work tho there's still hope sinz your parents are rich. Well, yes i knw its unafrican to divorce but in this case before your children gets affected by future mishaps sinz there's no love, files for divorce dear. Like it or not once he finds out u dont love him, he'll hit u,take away the kids or any kinda thing a frustrated angry man will do. Its becoming a global trend that couples will harm each other just to "tie down" their partner like using acid,stab u, i mean, i've even seen such news here on this blog. At the moment, u are safe becos he doesn't know u dont love him but when he finds out,i can assure u that you and myabe your kids(if he's so heartless) will no longer be safe.. Tho i wish for u to have a change of heart and love him like a wife should..
ReplyDeleteThis is what happens when u get married too early...have u tried talkin to him abt his attitude?
ReplyDeleteHi my dear, congratulation for this your wonderful approach. I wish you to stand on the word of God. My advise to you is to have a quality discussion with your husband about finding something for you to be doing. I do believe you are watching a lot of Nigerian movies and you have started thinking that life is "COMPLETE".
ReplyDeleteAs an Igbo man, I came from a family of what I now call 'WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP'. That is in the days when someone will see a man or woman and match them as Husband and Wife. By this alone, this two people live together for more than forty years without any problem --- 'THAT WAS MARRIAGE'.
It's important to look beyond the earthly things and think about FAMILY.
Ask your husband if you can go back to SCHOOL. At the age of 33, you are still very young. Please think of what you will like to be in this life and go back to School "For Your Self". Study and understand the concept of that "Field of Study".
Look at your Children and try to make your husband UNDERSTAND how you FEEL. Life is What you make it.
God Be With you and your Family.
Thanks
You married when you were too young and immature to make such an important life altering decision. the age gap between you and your husband is too much, by the time he is retiring you are just getting into your prime.
ReplyDeleteHowever you need to understand the sanctity of the marriage vow if you are a God fearing Christian.
ȋ̊ wonder y U̶̲̥̅̊ αяε chosy abt τ̣̣ђё way U̶̲̥̅̊ shuld b advice cos τ̅☺ ♍ƺ its seems U̶̲̥̅̊ Ħª√ę made up Ɣ☺U̶̲̥̅̊R Mind.well 4 ♍ƺ ,wot God has joined τ̅☺ geda let no man put asunder,pray and put U̶̲̥̅̊r trust in God he į̸̸̨§ τ̣̣ђё problem solver.he will see U̶̲̥̅̊ tru.U̶̲̥̅̊ made τ̣̣ђё choice S̶̲̥̅o̶̲̥̅ ȋ̊ believe U̶̲̥̅̊ must Ħª√ę luvd him at A̶̲̥̅̊ tym.ask God τ̅☺ renew Ɣ☺U̶̲̥̅̊R L♥√ع for him.best Ơ̴̴̴̴͡ƒ luck τ̅☺ u
ReplyDeleteMarriage is a life contract... For better for worse for richer for poorer till death do you part.
ReplyDeleteWe are not born to just love someone, we choose to love, what you really need to do is to understand yourself more better, what you like doing, your favourite spot to have fun, tell him. Express yourself, maybe you have been practising the same routing every day and that's kinda make it boring. Try new things, develop a great love for him.. Love is not all about money, not about status, this things dies along when the person dies, but when the love comes genuinely from the heart the memory never fades away.
Choose to love him, and watch the kind of friends you keep, and never share your marriage experience with anyone. Share it only with your marriage mate.
As for his Ego, learn to study him very well. Understand him and let him know how much it hurt you in a respectful way. Most importantly tell him this:
"I choose to stay with you for all the thing that you have done right, and not to leave you for the one thing you have done wrong, i love you."
Tell him you want him to rekindle the love you share with him.
ashawo kobo kobo
ReplyDeleteDoes your husband love you? If yes, try and work on your love for him. If no, seek a divoice in court.
ReplyDeleteDivorce !!! , but i'm not sure you would be able to care for the 4 kids all by yourself
ReplyDeleteLol omo u no dey market again, so just stick to him
ReplyDeleteNever marry a man way older than u it never has a happy ending bt then again ur already married so I'm gon tell u 1thing. It might be hard n sound stupid bt truly the real way 2 b happy is on ur own. Pick a hubby, lv ur kids,make friends n very soon itl b like this man exists n at the same time doesn't . U dnt wana hear it bt I'll stil say pra. Tel God 2 mke u happy n 2 chnge him bt if he chnges or nt u culd still b happy with or without him----C21
ReplyDeleteMy dear love can be built and developed. There is no greater love out there believe me. Since he doesn't treat u babdly pls stay and ask God to help u love him. No make what believe me u can't over emphasis the power of prayers. Again try to always see the good side of ur husband. Close ur eyes to his bad sides and u will see urself loving him. And for the sake of the kids pls try. Nothing dey for this world oh I tell u. Our stay in planent earth is tempary so pls just forcus more in Christ and u will see thing turuing out the way u want. Mrs P
ReplyDeleteU need procold
ReplyDeleteHey lady, I understand ow u feel, u've fallen out of love for him. This what u wld do, figure out the things that made u fall in love with from d beginning. This may solve part of ur issue.
ReplyDeletefriend there is nothing u can do at this time. he is your husband forever so learn to love him. God bless u
ReplyDelete*Linda. Dump him. You're just following statistics/ 50% OF MARRIAGES WILL CRASH WITH 10 YEARS
ReplyDeleteMadam so many women are in this condition too,I know of one, married at 17 to one that was 23 years her older and shes 28 now and crying,sweetheart you are inside you are inside.My advice to you is that continue the way you are doing by not keeping extra marital affairs or committing adultery,do what your husband says you should do and he will love you and you in turn remember all those things that made you love him 14 years ago, im sure its not gone its just hidden look for it.Finally pray, that God give you back the man you loved 14 years ago there is nothing God cant do!your husband loves you and im sure you do too#itsbuchi!
ReplyDeleteUr kids should be your priority now not love.build your world around your kids and you will find reason to stay and bring them up.they deserve the love of their mum please.
ReplyDeleteTake ur mind off the things u don't lyk about him always think of d better part of his behaviour try ur best to be more emotional women r to grow in love n nt fall in love adore him just adjust in some things he complains you don't get right n u will enjoy ur marriage God hates divorce n it will be really bad for those innocent kids u brought into the world so if u love dem as u claim follow dis advice.n make sure non of ur gals or even sons mkes dat mistake my mum actually made a mistake worse dan urs n she has put it behinde her. Love from mary
ReplyDeleteGet a divorce right away,u hv d money so u wil live comfortably on ur own wiv ur kids.u can live lyk dat 4 d rest of ur life.nd bear in mind 33yrs wiv 4 kids,damn ur stil a young nd hot woman...
ReplyDeleteSince you said money no be problem, divorce him and get into the game again. Maybe you'll find something you're more in love with.
ReplyDeleteDivorce sounds crazy but more crazy is living with a man you don't love at just 33 and also making the poor man live with a woman who does not love him when he can also get someone better for him.
This lack of love is going to be a problem @ some point if you guys keep forcing it.
My Mum lives same way with a very selfish and self centred father for 20 years now...the only reason she's staying is for us(children). The only reason she is staying Is because she won't be able be able to burden of raising three children alone if she left,being that its not the same in your case I suggest you leave him and take your children with you
ReplyDeleteIn marriage, you will fall in and out of love, unless you never loved him in the first place. If u did, then try to reminisce on the good times and hold on to them.
ReplyDeleteTalk to him about why u need to work and that you can still take care of the kids. If symptoms persist and u r sure u can handle the kids...then
U want die bcoz of him,hes not worth.ur jst too young 2 waste ur life.havent heard life begins @ 40?my dear get a divorce nd live on ur own,afteraall u hv d money
ReplyDeleteFuck out of d marriage
ReplyDeleteHoney to me I feel you shld try n make it work, at least for yours kids Buh you have to stand up to him, stand on what you want and don't oblige him with everything he wants, marriage is the union of two persons with equal rights and not one over the other, thank God he does not mistreat u physically in that way u really have to stand up tp him for what you want but in the right way
ReplyDeletePheew!.....U started it, then you've gotta finish it...come on you have kids already......
ReplyDelete-Beautiful lopez-
Linda no carry my commment cook sunday rice o
ReplyDeleteU shd b seperated from him..
ReplyDeletePoor you. You'll be okay. The past is the past, but why did you marry someone 19 years older than you? He probably treats you like one of his children. I say, seek professional help. Also, tell him how you feel and see if you can work things out. Life's too short to be unhappy and living with regret.
ReplyDeleteTake ur mind off the things u don't lyk about him always think of d better part of his behaviour try ur best to be more emotional women r to grow in love n nt fall in love adore him just adjust in some things he complains you don't get right n u will enjoy ur marriage God hates divorce n it will be really bad for those innocent kids u brought into the world so if u love dem as u claim follow dis advice.n make sure non of ur gals or even sons mkes dat mistake my mum actually made a mistake worse dan urs n she has put it behinde her. Love from mary
ReplyDeleteeya.. kpele ehn.... but i dont understand why u wld get married soo young... i understand that it was back then.. but u coming from a rich home should hv known better.. or atleast ur parents should hv known better... my advice.. biko.. talk to ur family.. c how they cn help.. cus i cn advise u to divorce him... but u dont hv any money or a job...nd tht is catastrophic
ReplyDeleteI must say, the way you communicate in english seems kinda poor for someone from a rich home....lol.
ReplyDeleteAsk God to help you period!!!
If truly u "believe in d powers of prayers", then dat shd be d 1st thing u do wen u ar confused. Moreso, wu can advise u more realistically than God thru d holy spirit?
ReplyDeleteWhy do you ask for advice when you've already made up your mind? Well, 14 years being with him, you should have understood him by now but pls take a look at his positive effects, weigh it with the negative and i'm sure his goods outweighs. Don't be the agent to destroy your home and don't allow your emotions destroy you either. Fight the battle within you and I am sure you'll win. There's no happiness in divorce that you have made up your mind for.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you ask for advice when you've already made up your mind? Well, 14 years being with him, you should have understood him by now but pls take a look at his positive effects, weigh it with the negative and i'm sure his goods outweighs. Don't be the agent to destroy your home and don't allow your emotions destroy you either. Fight the battle within you and I am sure you'll win. There's no happiness in divorce that you have made up your mind for.
ReplyDeletei am 101% that you are seeing someone or you are thinking about it. first of all after how many years with kids you just realized you dont love your husband. Really? i am sure your family did not force you into this marriage since you both come from a wealthy home;so poverty did not play a role here. My dear "Fill in those gap with his good qualities,those good qualities that made you love him at first, those good qualities of him that made you stay with him all these past years. Nothing better is out there they will use you and dump you". your children need their father in their lives. Go and ask single parents how they role , they will tell you E NO easy at all.
ReplyDeleteThe source of all wise counsel(the bible) offers; 'wisdom is profitable to direct'[Proverbs 4:7]. Not to be religious, wisdom is the only way out of every situation and the source of all wisdom is God almighty- seek him! I'm sorry but that's the only way, no advice from any LIBer no matter how long they've been in marriage can substitute God's. Finally...in all thy getting get understanding, the bible continues. Understand that marriage has only one exit- death. The rest is up to you.
ReplyDeleteDis is d advice i learn frm some people back in d days, dat should nt force ur daughter or son 2 married who they don't love or like. becos dis is what is always happen @ d end, pls u people should nt insult her oh, if u re a sensible person, madam I'll advice u 2 divorce him, then take 1 of ur little child along wit u, dat is my advice 4 u, I wish u success in ur life.
ReplyDeleteThis is not really an heavy issue. Young woman, I undunstand ur plight but let me get this straight were u in love with him before? What has really changed? Y d change? So many questions like these would be asked to get to the bottom of this issue and I promise you will laugh last @ the end of our conversations. I would have preferred to attend to ur issue here but time and space will not allow. Just contact me on bbm 26597D14 or 08067610037. All is well dear.
ReplyDelete@18 u got married to a man 18 years olda dan u. U later found out u have no luv 4 him. Also, u didn't know how it all happened afta 2boys n 2 girls and u came from rich home. Now u realised it's all mistake. Haba! Listen 2 ursef now. U have no points to have my advice here dan 2 tell u HML.
ReplyDeleteMy Dear,u re in 4or life!!!
ReplyDeleteHow come I feel so much for you....? Thank you for this post dear, it will teach a lot of us a lesson of. Speed in marriage..if you are living for your kids, how much do ur kids love their Father? If a lot! Then erase the thought of living him because you 'll end up breaking those kids...and ego! How much I will hate him..NNe, did u say you are is wife?...or slave? If wife, why do you allow him take such a silly decision about you alone! Did. You even talk to both parents abt it? Do you know its idleness that's making you dislike so much..If you were busy, go to work and come back in the evening , travel out and stay Long, he I'll appreciate the little time he ll spend wit you! And you on ur own will be happy. Distance has its own role to play...Kudos to you! For nt cheating on him . I will pray for you too. I suggest you get busy immediately before your heart gets evil (u won't know I swear). I wish you well. *Joan*
ReplyDeleteFrom your comment, I realise you are not willing to pray bcos your mind is made up to leave your lovely marriage...what you are experiencing is normal, it's the traffic jam of marriage but in a short while it will be over. Pls stay with your husband and kids....you are a good mother and wife....marriage is beyond emotions... Invite Jesus in and he will help u. The marriage is not a mistake of your life but a Blessing!....@apostlepharez
ReplyDeleteMy sincere opinion, if u can't take the heat, then leave the kitchen... just my opinion and I hope you understand that.
ReplyDeleteIn this regard, u ve 2 love him some how, u just ve 2 change ur mindset about him. Also note that no marriage is perfect, influence ur husbands character, soon u would see ur dream man in him
ReplyDelete****Brave****
Dis is d advice i learn frm some people back in d days, dat should nt force ur daughter or son 2 married who they don't love or like. becos dis is what is always happen @ d end, pls u people should nt insult her oh, if u re a sensible person, madam I'll advice u 2 divorce him, then take 1 of ur little child along wit u, dat is my advice 4 u, I wish u success in ur life.
ReplyDeleteMy Dear,u re in 4or life!!!
ReplyDelete3 mistakes u should nevr make; ur religion/eternity, ur soulmate, ur career. U've made a mistake on marriage already n can't turn back now. U jus have 2 find a way 2 make it work no matter what, or bear the consequences. Divorce wouldn't help ur kids either so...
ReplyDeleteDis is d advice i learn frm some people back in d days, dat should nt force ur daughter or son 2 married who they don't love or like. becos dis is what is always happen @ d end, pls u people should nt insult her oh, if u re a sensible person, madam I'll advice u 2 divorce him, then take 1 of ur little child along wit u, dat is my advice 4 u, I wish u success in ur life.
ReplyDeleteMy dear ur really in bondage claiming ur married. Try discussing dis with your lawyer or parents. I think they can offer u a better advice. Remember a house is not a home wen love doesn't exist
ReplyDeleteMa sis,.....i advice u see d movie,..temptation,....
ReplyDeleteI advice u see d movie 'temptation
ReplyDeleteMa sis,.....i advice u see d movie,..temptation,....
ReplyDeleteTalk 2 ur husband abt it...... Maybe it's becos of his behaviour dat is d issue. Nd again u haff 2 stay cos of ur kids...
ReplyDeleteMy candid advise just accept ur fate and be more prayerful. With 4 kids there shouldn't be any going back, learn to accept him and do all u can to make him change his ways. Above all be pray harder.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all 18 was too early girl!,secondly 19 year difference?... Really?.. am getting the impression that this was an arranged marriage (the past aside).All u need is to talk things out with him,find a chancelor,it will help
ReplyDeleteIt's nt about the love here,you've gotta train him,all these while u may have been feeding his ego.nw,uve gotta train him to want and respect you,there are many articles and references from books online.Goodluck
ReplyDeletei will tell you to fast and pray.
ReplyDeleteSo u wana go 2d world to short the younger ladies ration that don't even have any. U r selfish! Enyia stay put there..you are 33 already...what do you want? U never enjoy life finish?
ReplyDeleteMidear. Marriage requires a lots of patience and perseverance. I will advice u stay wit ur husband and put ur mind in ur relationship wit him and u will see hw it will work out fine for u. Think about wat kind of life u will leave ur kids in if u work out or ur home. Its vry possible for u to luv ur husband all u nid do is to give ur self d chance to do it. After all these still put it in prayer cos when u put God first in ur home evryother thing will be easy for u. I pray God help u in ur home.
ReplyDeleteAsk yourself this question, what happens when the kids grow up and leave home? What will then keep u in the marriage. And on the other hand , what man would want to marry a woman with 4kids. If u dnt mind remaining single for a long time then i guess u cut ur losses and leave. You deserve to be happy. Dnt forget u only live once.
ReplyDeleteBiko, die if you want! Just kidding, you married too early and now you are regretting cos you have missed out on all the fun young ladies have before they settle down. You didn't say this but you know it is true. Better adjust your mindset and enjoy your marriage. Your husband will die before you are 70 if that will console you.
ReplyDeleteI'm always wary of advising others. ..but what I know for sure is, life is too short to live in regret
ReplyDeletePersonally, I won't be in a loveless relationship for ANYTHING..not even for my children. ...
Marriage isn't do or die. .not at all. And definitely not in this age and time...
Biko, die if you want! Just kidding, you married too early and now you are regretting cos you have missed out on all the fun young ladies have before they settle down. You didn't say this but you know it is true. Better adjust your mindset and enjoy your marriage. Your husband will die before you are 70 if that will console you.
ReplyDeleteSince you don't need anyone to tell you to kneel down and pray to God for your predicament madam handle your problem yourself,
ReplyDeleteWell, I guess you were blinded by love when you married him. Love that has now faded over the years. And you said he's 19 years older. At 33, you can still get married to someone else but divorce isn't cool. And what about your 4 kids? Maybe you should talk to him. Tell him how fed up and unhappy you are. Most men who have much younger wives always adore their wives but it seems this your own is allowing pride and a mighty ego get in the way. Why should he tell you not to work? Rubbish! In the end, it's all about what makes you happy, so that's it. Do exactly what you feel will make you happy and give you peace. (LiNDA!!! post my comment o )**kween**
ReplyDeleteIn as much as u got married @ d age 18,i believe @ d age of 25-28,ur mind shud be fully mature as to know what you want in life. Now ur 33 with 4kids,living in depression and regrets. I can't advise u to file for a divorce but rather dialog with ur husband abt what u dnt like abt him, spice things up in ur marriage, stop tieing wrapper round ur breast, a singlet and a short will do. Change ur house furniture's and it positions, set ur bedroom in a sexy way that will make u want ur man all day everyday. Aim at always looking good and above all open ur heart to love. Love ur husband,ur kids,ur family in a million ways...I wish u all the best.
ReplyDeleteCome suck ma dick
ReplyDeleteMy dear,it always love whom you marry,nt marry whom u love,dats d problem wit marriages dis days,dts why dere is a lot of failed marriages,give him time,talk to him n point out wat u dnt like,start see those things u dat made u marriage him,he is nt abusive tank God,n pleeease u nid to pray more,d foundation on wich ur marriage is founded on matters,don't quit dis marriage.
ReplyDeleteBeen married for the past 15yrs is already a life time of commitment and if u r feeling stressed out beyond ur limit now i suggest u leave, cos a day is gonna come when u going to blow a fuse. And that could be dangerious for u and mostly ur kids. Marriage isnt a do or die affair, u stay in it by choice and not by force. You r young and if u feel trapped in it and not happy, then have a plan for ur financial freedom, execute it quietly n when u feel u have enough financial n emotional stability to fight ur husbands ego, take care of ur kids then u shud take a walk cos you only get to live once. So leave for ur happiness
ReplyDelete1) Poor English? how r u from a rich home wt poor grammar? YOU cud not afford school?
ReplyDelete2)This story seems fake. Linda u needa b sure ppl arent just sending u trash dey made up jst fr entertainment.
Luk for another man
ReplyDeleteMy dear, I understand you cause am going through same. In this country of ours, a lot of us remain in marriage for our kids, I have attempted leaving mine servally but I remember my own up bringing where my mother left because she wasn't happy anymore and the next woman who married my dad maltreated us like mad. What am trying to say is that if you leave your home, you leave the faith and future of your kids to another woman and if you leave with your 4 kids, that love you are seeking will hardly come. So my dear occupy your mind with the love you have for your kids and ignore the fact that you no longer love your husband. Trust me it works for me, I will also work for you. Goodluck
ReplyDeleteMy dear you have to pray. Not praying 4 him to change but 4 you to change and start loving him.trust there is not perfect man out there.there are things that seperated couples won't tell you and that is they are sad all the rest of their life.
ReplyDeleteI'm talking from expirience.since my wife and I seperated its has been hell 4 me, even though I have all the girls in the world to be with. Every night I pray God bring my wife back home. My sister you can be happy, you can still love him again and your love can change him. My name is Osas.I also. Want to pls ask all of you to remember my home in your prayers.thank you.
U have already made the mistake long time ago,,,,,,,,,bur the main thing in marriage is happiness,I think u sort things out with ur husband so it can be a peaceful divorce.............but above all seek the intervention of the almighty
ReplyDeleteNne cont living 4 ur kids. Y̶̲̥̅̊o̶̲̥̅̊и̣̣̣̣̥ ve made the choice live with it. Chances r dt if Y̶̲̥̅̊o̶̲̥̅̊и̣̣̣̣̥ leav hm Y̶̲̥̅̊o̶̲̥̅̊и̣̣̣̣̥ might end up wit d worst man. Divorce i̶̲̥̅̊s̶̲̥̅ nt an option. Look deep down yaslf n find those hobbies Y̶̲̥̅̊o̶̲̥̅̊и̣̣̣̣̥ like n occupy ur slf with them n stop thinkin abt hm dt way Y̶̲̥̅̊o̶̲̥̅̊и̣̣̣̣̥ will overcome ds
ReplyDeleteMarriage is 4 beta or worse, So ma, u hv to bear it @least 4 U̶̲̥̅̊r kids
ReplyDeleteThis situation is heart-breaking to me in particular because I have seen it on many different occasions. The age disparity is definitely playing a big role here. You are young and bubbly, while he is more settled in his years. As painful as it may be to hear, you need to realize that there may only be a painful way if you want out completely. if that is the case, how will you take care of yourself and your kids? Yes, prayer is good, and God also wants us to act. I'd advise you to seek out a support group online, since you're a prayerful woman perhaps look for such a group online where you can confidentially speak to other women who may be in this same situation. It is always best to seek advice from those who know what you're going through, and who will take you seriously. Second, perhaps you could try to engage your husband in some activities....perhaps boredom is what is affecting you. He may very well be scared that if you're working, someone may 'snatch' you. Since you say he's a good man, can you try to talk to him and ask him to at least take you out, etc? Wishing you all the best
ReplyDeleteWhy not tell ur man how u feel. Go back to the memory lane and ask ursef when did this feelin start? Ask ursef how come u lived wt him 4 so long despite his shortcomings? Maybe u need a break a holidays not a divorce snc u married so early.
ReplyDeleteJust know women and men do feel as u do atimes. Its normal. I wish u can amiably discuss wt ur man, u should kno his language.
I wish u success, just change environment and give ursef 100 reasons to love and cherish ur family.
My dear, u already ve 4kids, dats your happiness den issue of your hubby since both of you are not happy with each their is no point to kip managing unhappy home cuz bottled up Anger is always d cause of HBP pls for you guys to live long for your kids I guess you go for Divorce dats just d solution
ReplyDeleteAre you omotola Jalade in disguise. If so, we can fix that issue. Your tokunbo is better than many tear rubbers out there
ReplyDeleteCandid advice.....enrol in school or something to learn to write properly. Who knows, u may meet someone there. Life is short
ReplyDeleteHave you tried counselling? If everyone were to just up and leave their marriage for one excuse or the other, marriage would have lost its sense-worth and would just be a fad.
ReplyDeleteTry counselling, try stuff to help spice up your marriage, and pray!!! If all else fails, do like the Oyingbos and divorce.
Just leave him..... You can still take care of your children..... Even if you aren't... Living in his house..... And come. To look at it he is way older than you.......... But if you find joy seeing your children... Living Happily with him and also feels his love.... Please stay just because of your children..... It will be kinda hard for dem to live without their mothers present.......
ReplyDelete(Motherly love)
@BEAUSTEVEN_BLOG
Sad situation. You alone will know what to do. Follow your heart. Women suffer too much because of saving face. No one can live your life for you my dear.
ReplyDeleteRushel
I think u need a good marriage counsellor cos some advise here might not be encouraging. I understand your plight and I pray God to change things around for good IJN... PATIJAS
ReplyDeleteI feel u my sista;am wearing d same shoe with u,mine is a little complex becos I Dnt have money but want to go pls God help me!crying
ReplyDeleteD devil u knw is better dan the angel u dnt knw, if u decide to leave ur husband jus bcos u feel u dnt love him, I pity u. Bcos of ur kids stay in ur marriage n learn to love him again jus as d first time. After 4kids!!! u want to live him? My dear think well biko bcos life is too short to TASTES bad wines outder,
ReplyDelete#GIFTEDhands
Its a pity buh u probably have to wait till hes dead before you can do anything,so your kids dont hate you for life...I feel your pain..the lord is ur strength.
ReplyDelete15 Years after marriage and you're now complaining? Any who told you he still loves you after those longs years, too. You both are just hanging in there because of the kids. Stay put
ReplyDeleteLinda pls stop posting fiction all in d name of filling ur blog.If there's no news,don't post,period!
ReplyDeleteThe truth is that no man and woman live forever in love, but tollerance and endurance. He is ur husband of 15 yrs, u should know him better than anyone else. You re the woman of the house, so you ve the powers to make ur hobby become watever you want him to be. Simply invoke the powers God had embeded in u as a woman, and solves the problem.
ReplyDeleteWomen you always bother yourselves about nothing. The problem with most women is that they don't know the value of what they have until they lose it.lady, the issue here is because you married at a very young age, you feel didn't ur explore ur youth as you should and hence when you go out and see single girls of ur age living freely ,you feel caged and traped in ur married. I know you feel there is a life outside marriage that you are missing, but girl there is really nothing outside there oo. Try and concentrate on ur marriage and learn to luv ur husband bcuz if you divorce him and go outside there, men will fuck you black and blue and discharged you afterwards. You should also know that you are an after four so nothing for you on the street. Part of ur problem also is boredom, so try and plead with ur husband to get you something doing so you don't feel lonely atimes. Pls face ur home bcuz if you give other girls chance, they willl snatch ur husband and love and treat him the way u hv never done.
ReplyDeleteYou are already married to him. Make the best of it because four kids are involved. For better for worse till death.
ReplyDeleteI would say you focus onfalling in love again. You have the power to make it work. Think of the damaging effect separation would have on your kids and your husband as well.don't be selfish think of how ur family will react. Talk to your mother, she might intimate u on the bad side of divorce.
ReplyDeleteAfter 4 kids Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ know realize Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ don't luv him.... Better stop fooling ur self, Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ can never Ơ̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴͡ caring husband at ur age wt those kids....
ReplyDeleteMy advise 4 Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ is to start luving ur husband now, luv comes 4rom heart, if Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ can open ur heart 4 him I'm telling Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ , Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ will luv him more dan Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ never expect......good day...
~ALATISHE say so~
you need to talk to him.
ReplyDeleteits your marriage after all ..
after all the effort you've put in, you cant quit.
not like that.
bear in mind, you are not the only person involved, think about ur kids and the effect this will have on them.
if your husband isnt willing to change, do whats best for you and your kids.
Goodluck
Tell your husband exactly what you just told us. What have you got to lose?
ReplyDeletePls don't think of break up now cos it would affect ur kids.yes u re matured enuf that's why u can see.don't let it look like u re under pressure from anoda man out there,just identify his excesses and start finding interest in them,someday he ll call on u to address his fault.be steadfast in prayers too
ReplyDeleteMy dear u r still 2 young to be living like dis... 2 things r involved. U either divorce him or continue living with him all because of ur kids. Life is 2 short to be unhappy.
ReplyDeleteLIB as the name implies, is this your real name or nick? does your real name has a negative impacts to your future?
ReplyDeleteAm so sorry for the situation at which you have found yourself; but take to my advice.
Try to LOVE Him as your own husbond for better for worst, incert a piece of chocolate in his mouth when his's back from work and take him as a Father, Brother and Sister; make him feel at home, in return he will Love, cherish care and take you as it's own.
In conclusion, pray for him, see if you need change your name for good, then watch and see what happened next.
We feel for you LIB, good luck.
Pray and ask God to direct you to the right people to seek counsel from.
ReplyDeleteLmao! She said no prayer advice! She knows LIBers die, dey cn advice pple to prayoh for Africa, not dat its a bad tin oh
ReplyDeleteMy dear I understand how you feel but this is just you don't see finish syndrome and pls do not port as marriage is for beta and for worse.think about the future of your children as a broken home is not good for any child.as difficult as it may seems try to over look his flaws and dwell most on his positive side.reinvent your marriage and try and fall in love with him again.
ReplyDeleteMy dear dere is notin u can do 4 NW,at least 4 d sake of ur kids ignore him and be happy dat God has blessed u wit wonderful kids or may be sit him down and talk tins tru,where do u wanna go NW?let Jesus b d center of every decision u wanna take.
ReplyDeleteThat is the mask of early marriage
ReplyDeleteI will advice u to go for marriage counseling
Never divorce him
Ask God for gift of love ~onahboy
Since you say money is not an issue for you, start spending time by yourself. This will allow you think and plan without the distraction of your family. By this I mean travel alone. If you can afford to, study abroad. It doesn't have to be an academic course. Go for a one or three month course. This will give you an opportunity to weigh your options. My guess is your first child is 12 and the youngest, 5. You need to plan. You feel this way because you've changed. But your husband still sees you as the naive teenager he married. Start developing yourself. If need be, see a professional counsellor. You need to be self aware. To know yourself, your needs, wants, desires and aspirations. Getting up and leaving will not answer these questions. And you're the only one with answers to these questions. While you're discovering yourself, build a stronger relationship with your kids. You will need this should your husband attempt to turn the kids against you. I'm married but it doesn't mean I have given up on myself because I'm a wife and mother. Start believing in yourself and call his bluff. If he says other women want him. Then let him go to them. He's cheating you. Making you put your life on hold while his goes on at full speed. Sit up and start living. Even if he leaves you, you'll find someone else.
ReplyDeleteYou jst hve to endure it .... no reverse gear in marriage
ReplyDeleteIt is only God that can help you .you don't love someone else, so learn to live with your man you know if you tell him your true feelings you will deflate his ego but you may have no choice but to talk to him candidly about the problem. Remember you have 4 beautiful kids and it's no fun bringing up kids without their father. He is define toy taking you for granted,probably because you just sit there being preety chopping his money. Get a job insist ,push and cry as this will increase your self esteem, you will also find his attitude towards you will change when he sees you dressing up for work looking preety.
ReplyDeleteLobatan @EL_Sureboi
ReplyDeleteYou seem to really hate your husband mi think it's best you leave him as you have been with him for 15 years and have no love for him.I don't think you ever will love him.So walk away and maybe since his ego is d problem,someebody will notify him that you have posted this as somebody who knows u can identify u and let him know his ego issues and that may just make Jim change but for now walk away is my best advice as it seems u totally hate this man and u can even get rid of him if care is not taken.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLearn to Love,is too Late my dear,so far is taking care of you.wat on earth do u still wnt frm a Man dat takes gud care of uuuuuuuuuuuu,my advice is dnt let hm goooooooo
ReplyDeleteYou won't believe that I feel exactly the way u feel! Though our ages differ, i'm older , my story is almost d same as yours. I however know why I stopped loving him, he is a two faced cheating bastard despite d fact that he is 15 years older. I have also prayed and i'm tired of praying, I have 6 children and wish there was a way out of this hell!
ReplyDeleteU don't av a problem
ReplyDeleteU are just trying to create 1
Bless
Hi, sori bout how you feel, but d fact is don't think of break up now cos of ur kids.identify ur hubby's excesses and try to make it look faultless by feeling all men do same, some day he will sit u down and address his faults,marriage is not a bed of roses,u taste both d bitter and d sweet part.start all over and begin to see him like u just meet him and he is destined for u.
ReplyDeleteU getting married at Age 18 is not an excuse, divorce is not an option either if u love ur kids, adultery is outta the equation, u need to try and rekindle some feelings for this man and try to build on it, and u shud consider asking God for help #nothing is impossible with him u know
ReplyDeleteLobatan @EL_Sureboi
ReplyDeleteDestress urself then
ReplyDeleteTalk to a marriage counsellor, if possible take your husband along. And keep your marriage alive.
ReplyDeleteDrink poison den n end all dis wahala
ReplyDeleteLike serzly I can't advice you to break up, the kids need both of you together and I think you re tired cos u do virtually nothing. An idle mind is a devils workshop, you need to start working and keep the mind busy but to divorce the kids need u pp love
ReplyDeleteThe key to your happiness lies within yourself. Forget about what and how you think he should be, and accept your man the way it is knowing that you cannot change him. Ego is a general problem with men. Most of the time, we configure our minds to how we want our spouse to be, and we get unhappy if it turns opposite. Infact, you might be surprise he feels the same about you. The only major problem I see is YOU. You have to make a choice between making yourself happy and sad.
ReplyDeleteMy advise is that you should have a serious discussion with ur husband on how u feel(do not tell him u don't love him again).let him know u r not happy and u need to be happy.the last solution would have been a divorce.I'm sure u guys can still find a meeting point.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is patience, endurance and persievarance. It is also for better for worse. And if you notice, all marriages when it get to a stage it will look as if it will crack. But if you have patience, you will overcome it. I will suggest that you should go back to your work because anything can happen at anytime, if you have your job you will be able to sustain your self and the kids. Please do not think of living him to stay alone or to re-marry, it will affect the future of the kids. Almighty God will continue to guide you to the right path and build your home.
ReplyDeleteDivorce the man or find a way to spark ur marriage
ReplyDeletedont dear to leave him do dis fr d sake of yur chldn
ReplyDeleteA whole lot of people will tell u different things.....but life is too short.......leave if u are not happy.....stay if u think there is a chance of happypiness.......your happiness is what is more important..........as for your kids staying because of them......is teaching them how weak u are.
ReplyDeleteOh my jee! I just lack words. For the sake of the kids my dear just stay and luv them. The Bible permits divorce based on adultery by ur partner. U need to make heaven, pls stay cos life in eternity matters a lot.
ReplyDelete