I
believe so much in this Chinese proverb: “No matter how far you have
gone in the wrong direction, as soon as you know, turn back." Progress
means getting nearer to the place you want to be. And if you have taken a
wrong turning, then to go forward does not get you any nearer.
If
you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and
walking back to the right road; and in that case the man who turns back
soonest is the most progressive man. (Is this applicable to marriage?
What do you do when you realize you have been with the wrong man or
woman?)
Pray and seek for Godly counsel!!! Divorce is outta it... That's why it's advisable to discontinue d rship if u know u can't cope wen u get married... Listen to parents too b4 marriage... Most of em av foresights..
Pray n seek for Gods counsel...yall think prayer is everything. God has given u will power, better judgement etc...so yall won't bother him/her With irrelevant matters. So If u say u wan fuck up marry the wrong man or wrong woman...I really don't see how that's Gods problem. Now u praying for what exactly?...that the person should change? No one can change anyones true characteristics...u can only supress it temporarily. Nna learn to let go. Btw Parents interferance in ur marriage shouldn't even me an option. Uve only got one life...who u choose to spend it with will determine how miserable ur life will be.
Clap 4 ursf child! Bia Linda,marriage s 4 men and women not boys n girls. Dat addage of urs s applicable 2 life's issues not marriage hun. U don't go 2 d grocery store 2 buy wat u don't nid odawise u hv a lot of stuffs in ur hands u may never nid! Pls always consult ur bible 4 God's prerogative on marriage,only den will u understand better. A marriage built on man's idea will crash! Remember d inexperienced built d ark(Noah n co) and d "experienced"built titanic. U know d rest story!
Asamkpotoko,whoever u re,u shall live long.Dias no wrong road in marriage.Incompatibility is simply lack of knowlege.If u decide to recieve wisdom u can successfully live wt even de devil's son or daughter.De question is,how many re seekin 4 divine wisdom?Dey'll rather settle 4 man-made advice.
Asamkpokoto has said it all. If ure married u'l understand that point of view. I'm happily married and I'l add, it isn't always like that. Sometimes I ask myself why I married my husband other times I'm glad I did. This is d general emotion married couples go through on a daily basis. If ure a mature person, u'l understand that's how it is. This is why I'l always advise anybody getting married to make sure they go for counceling before getting married because that is what prepares u for marriage. U better sit ur butt in ur marriage and make it work! That's why the bible says: for better for worse ie no escape route......
stop applying the proverb in the wrong context... why didnt you apply that before marriage?if you are a true christian, you should realise the weight that marriage carries and how sacred that arrangement is to the originator of the institution...stop trying to find a way out of marriage instead work hard and pray to make it work..it may not be a day, week, month or a year for things to get better but with much effort and prayer, marriage can be blissful...it's too late to start wondering and lamenting on how you got with the wrong woman...on that note, NO it is not applicable to marriage...this isnt hollywood
No,its not.In marriage,there's no turning back,and for me,there's nothing as being with the wrong person,be the right person...that works more 4 me.But in your case where u feel you're with the wrong person,pray for that person,seek good counsel,pray again,talk about your issues,pray again,till you get a positive result outta the situation.May God help you. LatinoPINKY
Simple! U take a walk and search for the right person....see ehhhn we all make mistakes and God knows that too.if u find out ur with d wrong person trying to patch tins up will only lead to more hell. Pray and ask for directions from God and d reasons must b genuine oh no be say becos d guy no get money again u wii na come and say u think he was d wrong person for u oh
from my point of veiw, since marriage is an earthly affair, if it not working out you just have to turn back, turning back doesn't mean you should start flirting but a chance to correct your mistake in the first marriage and if God's willing you find a man worthy then you can start afresh with him.
Are you aware that as recently as 400yrs ago that the Christian Church saw marriage as a sin? As a form of prostitution where the woman offered the man s*x as payment for her upkeep? It was societal pressure and legislation that forced the Church to change its mind? So whether we like it or not it is an 'earthly affair'.
This does not follow entirely. When it comes to relationships there is no perfection so one has to work hard to keep afloat. U can only turn back when u have done everything humanly possible..
This does not follow entirely. When it comes to relationships there is no perfection so one has to work hard to keep afloat. U can only turn back when u have done everything humanly possible..
And again how do u discern you're with the wrong person? If you can detect that,then you can even tell Christs second coming. coz people cam hide their real self.
As far as am concerned God is nt in support of divorce,dats why u nid to find out in details who u wanna marry,bt most ladies marry pocket n forget to observe her spouse n at d end of d wedding dey realise dey married d wrong guy.my little advice is nt dont marry d guy financial status or d ladies background do more research no hw u wil see sumthing strange
You make a u-turn my dear..no questions asked!..take it from someone that has done did it. Life is way too precious to be anything but happy..so if you are 100% sure you are on the wrong lane,you switch asap no excuses no apologies,and oh fcuk what "people"would say course at the end,they'd still talk regardless..
Maraige is different to all other relationships because its a covenant. A covenant is not something you enter, the suddenly you feel its wrong then jump out. Thats why its very important to be completely sure before you enter. You must look well into all matters just as the Bible ask us. Down to you question, first of all you must in all sincerity ponder over the reason why you believe you married the wrong woman. I say this because I know especially men, when they found someone they wished they were with, or have heard news about other people's wives or their on wife has disagreed or refuded to support them on a particular issue, they scream wolf. You have completely misinterpreted this adage completely Mr, the turning back in that adage does not mean leaving your wife, china has a different culture to yours. Don't apply another man's culture, religion and way of life to justify or use as an excuse to break your home.You must do everything within your power to ensure you make your marraige work, call your wife and tell her what you feel. Don't be selfish, do averything in your might to save your home, only then will you be blameless. In all things, do unto others as you will have done unto you. Now ask yourself and be very honest, if you could read your wife's mind, How would you fell if she thinks the same of you and uses that silly adage as her excuse?
In my opinion, it's a big NO. That's why both of them must pray very well before getting married. Moreover, bible doesn't allows it. it's just another way of sleeping with another opposite sex.
I know many people will tell you to stay there because of bla bla. You know you are with the wrong person, why would you want to remain there? For your sanity, happiness and most of all, for the fear of God, do the right thing and leave if you truly want to make progress. Some people deceive themselves that something wrong will suddenly become right. God is not mocked. Do what you know is right. God bless.
Its a life long journey not something you change your mind on later. That's y they say, take your time before you enter. Don't rush in. Its pointless. Marry when you know you can forgive anything and nothing will make you leave ur patner.
Make corrections immediately because you won't be happy knowing fully well that you have made wrong decisions...I'd rather do something and be happy than whine and endure an uncomfortable situation ...it's just not worth it
Anything can be fixed, anu situation and person too. God made marriage as a beautiful thing, in most cases its not I married the wrong person but the peron changed when we got married. Or you are trying to change your husband or wife. Having a negative attitude doesn't help, always thiniking I've made a mistake, I can't do this will affect your reality and make it a reality. How about you start by positively changing yourself and praying for your spouse and not giving up. God can fix anything get him involved,to make a positive change in any situation it must start with you
Linda I dot tink dis is applicable to marriage or else d woman will continue to change husband at every given time n it will also affect the woman emotionally n she will break down .Marriage is not boyfriend n girlfriend case is better u dot enter @ all than entering n coming out of it
It applies to everything in life including marriage. Sadly in Nigeria, people start looking for ways of making the wrong road right, looking for short cut and justifying their position. They are too proud to turn around and go back to the right road. It takes humility and we are not humble people. That is why Nigeria is where is it today.
You can spend minutes,hours,days or even months over-analyzing a situation,trying to put the pieces together,justifying what could've,would've happened....or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the f**k ON --2Pac
U turn back,infact continue turning bck as soon as you realise u've been with the wrong partner,wen you continue with this method with several men/women u've been married to nobody will tell you to stop!anuofia! Wrong direction ko,turn back ni!
Ummmh! we all knw dat marriage is nt an easy journey,bt hw do u knw u married d wrong person? Is it becos of d ups & downs,disagreement nd so on,do u knw if d next person u meet will be worse,no two person re ever dsame nd dat is y God pair u 2geda,@least there ws love btw u b4 u decided 2 marry each oda,if theres no love,deirs a kind of feeling u ve maybe smtin abt him attract u,d only reason y u lost interest is weda dat tin u sw in d person is no more there,dats simple u can work on dat,do d tins u did b4 gettin married dat made u love each oda,put ur best into ur marriage,dnt eva giv up on trying,read books,go 4 counselling & most of all talk 2 God in prayer,u knw wat,life itsef can nvr giv u its best until u try hard nd so u cant giv up on lyf jst bcos u re nt gettin tin ryt so dnt giv up on ur marriage,forgive whole heartedly,love unconditionally,it wont cost u anytin,life is short.
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Marriage is for "better, for worst" u hand everything to God who knows how to perfect all, leaving the man is nt the best, the devil u know is better than the angel u don't know.
You make sure you don't marry the wrong person. Marriage is not a joke. Its one of the most important decisions one will ever make in ones life if not the most. There are no excuses that's why you date first. Marry when its right for you and for the right reasons. Rememeber "better for worse"
If u'r with the wrong woman, u should do an about-turn and move to the right lane or woman, cos the soonest u do that, the better it is for u..But that's wen u are nt married yet.. Cos marriage is for better for worse.. So I don't think its applicable to marriage..
First and foremost,commit the relationship to God, seek him thoroughly. Don't be hasty to make decisions. The second part is that when its time to give up, u will surely know that. But before u give up, try counselling. Most often its hard to communicate our problems to each other, but in the presence of a third party(Pastor or therapist) u can each be given an opportunity to express ur feelings. It is also true that no amount of counselling can change ones true character; but prayers can. However sometimes and in severe situations(domestic violence, abuse etc) walking away does not make u a looser, its actually going towards that right direction. But yeah I do feel ur pain, but then again do Not make Emotional decision on baseless fact because u might discover that the right way may just still lead u back to the wrong spot, and all that has been lost is time and love. Work on it, give it a go! Talk, have prayer sessions. Just know when to walk away, but pls for the right reason. Thank you.
Well Linda it's only when u re married that u will realize the difference between single and married status. Its not a bed of roses for both couples. there re times of challenge but the man should be courageous to accept responsibilities and head his home to positivity because he's the groom and should groom the wife till death do them part as vowed during marriage ceremonies. Things always seems to go well and respectful for couples where the man is far older than the wife, reason being that he will understand and manage the lady's xteristic(in terms of maturity/age and expectations). If your marriage is going the wrong way dont run away, correct it, but dont make it public
Story! The worst relationship ve had is with the "older man" common sense no dey respect age joor, no decieve ur sef! My present bf is 2 yrs younger than me and very manly.
Sometimes if you've tried so hard to clear that road many times and is not getting anywhere, I'll advice that person to walk back and choose a new path, if not is going to cause a lot of pain.
How do you define a wrong man or woman for u in marriage? Even with "match-made-from-heaven" phrase. ..some marriages go through turmoil. .is he wrong when he cant afford a trip to UK like he used because of financial crises...or because she added a few pounds after giving birth to ur lovely kids? I think this generation forgets so much about tolerance n go for convenience. ..they forget understanding n go with choices. When we understand what a wrong man or woman is? and why they r "wrong" then this topic is up for discussion...else
Very true. A lot of us have faced hell in our marriage. Do not want to leave because of what ppl will say. What if he is beating and cheating? Rubbish me I will leave very soon
I doubt very much if one would enjoy or appreciate living life and the entity called marriage if it is constantly ringing at the back of the person's mind that he/she is caught up in a bad marriage.
I would humbly suggest that the person feeling like the union is wrong should talk with the partner and try sorting things out if there is any possibility of doing so or respectfully walk away from the marriage.
If we are to follow the GOOD BOOK(BIBLE) you av to stay in there till u cn prove ur spouse is engaging in adultery...then u can divorce...but if u want to marry again,mk sure ur spouse is dead(didnt send u msg to go and kill ooo)...and den followin ur chinese proverb,do about-turn na...
As long as you are married to d man turning back is not an option unless in a situation he beats u up. The best thing to do is to pray for God to intervene and perfect your marriage. Bt if u guys are not yet married, my dear take a walk
You can't say that. You should have loved him/her for you to be willing to spend your life with each other. I don't know why people don't take marriage seriously. You should have studied your partner and be willing to accept their flaws(if you can) before marriage. Anyway, you should be willing to talk it out with your partner(you owe it to him/her) see if they're willing to change. If it doesn't work out, include his/her family members or church members. If you can't do all this things you simply did not love him/her in the first place and it is your burden to bear.
No it doesn't!rembr God is d author of marriages and he views it sacred,d only reason u shud walk out on a marriage is if ur spouse cheats on u and is caught.any issue aside dat can be solved if both parties really wants things 2 work. linda dear plz post.
Am in a dilenma,my connection with my spouse is soooo gone,but my family adores him,I feel its a wrong turning but am scared of what people would say...
My dear, it depends on wat u describe as 'the wrong man or woman' bcos tins ar not goin the way u wnt it to does not mean its a wrong marriage. It culd b somtin u can settle amicably lyk mature adults.. Remenber, the bible permits divorce only on d bases of adultery nd even admonishes us to forgive if we can. Its better to forgive nd leave the rest to God. I believe he sees!
Stay there!! Wateva got u there in d first place should pull you through d remaining years!! It's y its adviced to enter a marital union discretely and with prayers!!
Thats why there is something called courtship,u need to kow who yur really spending the rest of your life with. Marriage is for better for worse so there is no going back!
There's no permission for divorce in marraige except on the grounds of infidelity, that's why it is always adviced for one to be careful when making a choice of marital partner, don't ever think you can marry someone and change the person, it is better to break a courtship. Once you're married and get to discover that your partner is the worst on earth, you're in for it for life because the bible says God hates divorce.
It takes lots of courage and strength especially for a marriage that have been blessed with kids, hw do Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ relate the story to ya kids; that the family have to be divided cuz Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ feel or believe Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ made a mistake or took the wrong road? Its complicated with marriage
once married you become right for each other, except one person as attempted to kill the other, please pray and work at it, you'll be glad you did in the end.
Issues on marriage are usually more complicated than that... firstly it's good to seek the face of God before jumping into marriage. Secondly, even marriages that are made in heaven will have rocky periods, it is the duty of the couple to weather those storms, when a marriage gets to a stage where both the couple or one of them are no longer willing to try to make It work, then that marriage is just like having a roommate. Thats why it's important to know your spouse' Love language. I strongly recommend this book 'The 5 Love Languages' by Gary Chapman.
once married you become right for each other, except one person as attempted to kill the other, please pray and work at it, you'll be glad you did in the end.
Nooo u hav to stay ooo if its a christian marriage it is for BETER or WORSE and since u in d worse aspect u hav to jus pray for God to grant u grace and love in ur heart for him unless u catch him/her comitin adultery even in dat case it has to be explained bit by bit but in dis case swthrt u jus nid graceand u hav to seek d Face of God selflesly
Sorry this proverb can not fully be applied in marriage, you can only turn to look for the pieces and mend it up,not looking for a new one.In case of no adultry it is retracable.
When you discover you are with the wrong man/woman...you should ask yourself...Are you the right man/woman??...marriage really isn't a mart where u come and go as you please..this adage can't be applied to it...
As a believe in the word of God, You pray and continue to believe for a positive change. you have already made the mistake. God hates divorce but he can turn a bad situation/marriage to the best. You pray for God to heal your marriage, continue to trust in Him and be obedient to his words.
Firstly I think you should indicate how long U guys have dated/courted, cus if you can like a person, fall in love, then say Yes. I. Do. At the alter then the marriage can still work, if they did not blackmail or Jazz U into the marriage. If you leave this marriage, you can be sire the next one will have its own wahala as well. So beware, cus you attract what you carry as a person, whether you agree or not. So look within first, do your part, seek God's face for mercy. If the problem is one that will endanger ur life and its still persistent, then you may have to leave. God bless you. DatShortBoi
Firstly I think you should indicate how long U guys have dated/courted, cus if you can like a person, fall in love, then say Yes. I. Do. At the alter then the marriage can still work, if they did not blackmail or Jazz U into the marriage. If you leave this marriage, you can be sire the next one will have its own wahala as well. So beware, cus you attract what you carry as a person, whether you agree or not. So look within first, do your part, seek God's face for mercy. If the problem is one that will endanger ur life and its still persistent, then you may have to leave. God bless you. DatShortBoi...aunty Linda I dey always pray for U O! Thats enough "bribe" to post my comment...lol ;-)
IMAOBONG JOHN, MY DARE, WIT GOD AITHING RE POSSIBLE, GIVE YUR LIFE TO GOD, LOOK ON TO GOD 4 YUR MARRIAGE B PRAYAFUL, PLS DON'T GO A WAY 4 YUR MARRIAGE,IT IS A SIN BE 4 GOD,B PRAYAFUL N U WLL enjoy yur marriage,GOD WLL HELP U IJN AMEN.
Unless there is a threat to life, there should be no reasons for divorce. Divorce is ugly and can be destructive to all parties and children involved. Unfortunately some people suddenly realize their partner is no more the 'right' person, based on flimsy excuses or their feelings.
When a man and woman take a vow before God and everyone, they promise to stick together in good times and bad times. Faithfulness and commitment are not based on feelings, but honouring the vow they made.
It is therefore important for young men and women to be careful while on courtship. Marriage is not a status symbol, it is about lives coming together and bringing forth more lives. When toyed with, marriage has the capacity to destroy not just the couple, but their children and extended families.
I urge all single people out there, please don't get so desperate that you marry the next available man or woman you see. Ask questions, use common sense, and be prayerful. Courtship is not a period to have sex like rabbits or spend a man or woman's money. It is a period of finding out if this person will be a good partner to you and a good parent to your unborn children.
It's very simple: LOVE WHO YOU MARRY NO MATTER WHAT! God is not the authour of divorce, you chose the person anyway and its very simple to love...just make up your mind to love.
Once you marry, your spouse is the right person for you. Secrets to a successful marriage: 1. Don't trust your spouse (Micah 7:5)it will lead to frustration, trust God. 2. Marriage is to be endured (James 1:12), if you endure you will be happy in the end. 3. Can two walk together except they agree, No! BUT if you CHOOSE to agree with your spouse (compromise), you both can walk together.The success to your marriage is in your hands, do the necessary and make compromises no matter how long and how many times you have to.
I am married, and i have seen first hand the effect of prayer in my marriage and the person my hubby has become. No situation is difficult for the God that created the world in 7 day. His plan for marriage is for it to be blissful and a union of joy.
The bible says "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord". Ask Him to change the situation in your marriage. There is no turning back for a true christian that believes in God, and His ability to do the impossible.
I'm in the same situation. There's no connection whatsoever just acting. Only dilemma is that there is a child involved. Wish I listened to my dad and ex who warned me against marrying him.....
Whenever, you are sincerely convinced you are on the wrong road or wrong bus, it is stupid to keep going on. This is applicable to marriage. God hates divorce but I sincerely believe He hates more that innocent people die or get destroyed because they refuse to let go of a destructive marriage. When you have done all on your part to make it work and the other party is reckless, violent and a clear threat to your life or well-being, it is better to leave in peace. As humans we are allowed to make mistakes. The fear of mistakes have made many not to dare into marriage. If you mistakenly married a devil and he begins to show himself/herself, it cannot be wrong to consider running away. Only do not get into marriage with you having an intention to bolt at the slightest excuse. Let it be the other party and his/her life-threatening, intolerable and incorrigible actions or conduct that justifies your leaving. Marriage is a covenant, not a cult. A covenant is simple an agreement that once the other party violates we are also free to void if he continues. Do all to get your partner change but if he does not, God will not condemn you for taking your life and living on. That is not the sin. No one is capable of changing another who is not willing. It is a risky gamble.
I am sorry to say, but if one has to speak very fairly, most people who say they are in a wrong relationship or married the wrong person, are actually the ones with a problem or problems. Everyone is created to be distinct or unique. You should not expect your spouse to behave in a particular manner or compare her/him to someone else's spouse.When he/she does not conform to your expected standards, you now embark on a project of change or pray for change to suit your expectations. When that fails as well, you are forced to conclude you made a wrong choice for a spouse. I am not trying to say that there are no genuinely difficult cases. But most times, we humans tend to be unnecessarily judgemental with the slightest provocation not wanting to give benefits of doubt. This happens mostly when one spouse has already developed a bias for the other for whatever reason. Every effort the supposedly wrong partner makes to ensuring a happy home tends to fall below expectations and instead aggravates the situation. Nobody is super-human. People GENUINELY looking for LIFE (and I mean life) partners should look out for those they can really bond with and have common interests and level of reasoning and they should put that into prayers. Jumping into marriage with just anyone just because your mates are getting marriage is one of the worst things you can do to yourself. Do not deceive yourself that you are trying to change your partner. you, yourself I believe need more changing than your partner. My opinion though.
I was under pressure to marry when i turned 40 and out of pressure i married a facebook friend.I had never set my eyes on her,just telephone and chats.when i flew into Nigeria,i hurriedly did the court wedding.The minute i stepped outside the court was when it dawned on me that i have screwed my life big time.the marriage scattered within two months
I was under pressure to marry when i turned 40 and out of pressure i married a facebook friend.I had never set my eyes on her,just telephone and chats.when i flew into Nigeria,i hurriedly did the court wedding.The minute i stepped outside the court was when it dawned on me that i have screwed my life big time.the marriage scattered within two months
Die there!!! Lol. But really I think it is wrong to say you discovered the other person is the wrong person. Its so selfish!!! The person no changed na... so you need to decide and convince yourself to making it work. With the help of God and understanding of your partner, it will work.
If you are going to come out blind in one eye or a nervous wreck who people will call mad woman, then I don't see any amount of preaching that should keep you in there. Forget what all these lucky and I-Know-All christians have to say. When one is lucky, instead of being grateful, the person tends to talk anyhow.
THIS ISSUES HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING RELIGIOUS , BECAUSE THERE ARE SOME PASTORS WHO ARE DIVORCING THEIR WIVES , AND A LOT OF THEM ALSO CHEAT , MARRIAGE IS A DANGEROUS GAME , THERE IS A LOT OF PRESSURE IN IT , AS SOON AS YOU SAY YES I DO , BECAUSE FROM THAT NIGHT YOU RECEIVED THAT RING , IT MEANS , YOU HAVE TO OBEY YOUR MASTER , AND EVERYTHING CHANGE, THE PERSON YOU THINK YOU TRUST AND LOVE , BECOME SOMETHING ELSE , SEX BECOME A DUTY, IN WHICH YOU CAN NOT SAY NO TONIGHT , SORRY I FEEL TOO TIRED MY DEAR, AS SOON AS YOU SAY THIS , HE WILL GRADUALLY IGNORE YOU , IN WHICH IF YOU NEED ANYTHING HE MAY REFUSED , JUST BECAUSE YOU SAY NO YESTERDAY. SOME MEN MAY NOT TALK TO YOU FOR WEEKS , NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY AND READY TO MAKE LOVE TO HIM , HE WILL STILL BE GRUMBLING . AGAIN , IF YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING , SUDDENLY YOUR HUSBAND MAY SAY , I DO NOT WANT YOU TO GO TO WORK . THEN, WITH THESE TYPE OF PROBLEM , IF YOU ARE NOT CAREFUL . IT MAY LEAD YOU TO DIVORCE., WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO SAY IS THAT MARRIAGE IS FOR THOSE WOMEN WHO ARE HIGHLY INTELLIGENT .
If u can maintain control to avoid adultery, great! Maybe u can endure. But even if u do make a mistake and have an affair, u should come to ur senses. However, if there's no compatibility etc. u may never stay faithful. In the end the God will judge.
I'm sorry bt if you are a Christian, divorce is not an option. Only except if your spouse committed adultery. I want to add If there's a threat to human life. Marriage is all about compromise, if even twins do not agree, how much for 2 individuals from diverse backgrounds. If you've tried private dialogue not it's not working, how about seeking help of a marriage counselor. Both parties hv to be willing. You have to take some responsibility for the present state of things. Don't try to change anyone, when they make that decision on their own, it's more genuine.otherwise they'd be acting. Talk to God about it, be careful who u pour ur heart out to. You have to be the right person too for your partner. I wish you well.
I find it amusing the way so called Nigerian Christians are so quick to quote the bible whenever the discussion concerns marriage. As if marriage was meant for only Christians. Some even talk about 'christian' marriage! But how many know that until about 360years ago there was nothing like that? The Christian Church was firmly against marriage - called it a sin against God; a form of prostitution where the woman offered the man sex in return for her maintenance. Before then couples lived together without the benefit of a church wedding and separated when they got tired. Trial marriages were common and acceptable. It was politicians who legislated that except a marriage was blessed by a clergyman it was not legal. The Church had to reluctantly agree but they insisted that the couple should stand outside the doors of the church so they don't contaminate the inside of the church with their lust and sin!! With time the church has now fully taken over!! That was the begin of our proudly acclaimed 'Christian' marriages.
some pple are idiots. using religion 2 justify why someone shud remain unhappy. true christian indeed. leave the marriage if its no longer worth it, simple. am talking 2 u from experience, the earlier the better
I understand wot you mean and wot your going thru, but I advice you make a U-Turn. Speaking from experience , I dated dis guy fr @least 3yrs, we ended up getting married and the marriage lasted for just 2month and we go our separate ways. I ended up finding the right Man fr me, and I'm happily Married now n blessed with a 1yr old Son. Smtyms, you don't need ppl's advices n choices. You just have to follow run heart and that inner voice and pray heard as well. Marriage ain't no bed of roses , and so also not all marriages r blessed or meant to be. Nne Linda post my comment oo. 1 of ur biggest fan.
If you feel you married the wrong partner, then that partner must feel that he also married the wrong partner. To me, its a two-way thing. If you are already married, then its something you guys need to sit down and address. The issue is that you both made the wrong choice in marriage partners and you're willing to make it work realising the problem which is probably lack of love. Divorce is not in my dictionary. It takes people with an understanding of God and life as a whole to pull it off. A lot of people lack the patience for that new love to grow. I know its doable.....changing your ways and loving your partner right. The question is do we hv individuals who are willing to sacrifice? Linda abeg post o!!!
Dunno ooo
ReplyDeletePray and seek for Godly counsel!!! Divorce is outta it... That's why it's advisable to discontinue d rship if u know u can't cope wen u get married... Listen to parents too b4 marriage... Most of em av foresights..
Delete@Bobo_Edo
Pray n seek for Gods counsel...yall think prayer is everything. God has given u will power, better judgement etc...so yall won't bother him/her With irrelevant matters. So If u say u wan fuck up marry the wrong man or wrong woman...I really don't see how that's Gods problem. Now u praying for what exactly?...that the person should change? No one can change anyones true characteristics...u can only supress it temporarily. Nna learn to let go. Btw Parents interferance in ur marriage shouldn't even me an option. Uve only got one life...who u choose to spend it with will determine how miserable ur life will be.
DeleteSo true.
DeleteLeave d marriage
ReplyDeleteAsap!!
DeleteTho it wont be easy
Gbam, no matter d how far uv gone, better leave cos its gona be from bad to worst every our.
DeleteClap 4 ursf child! Bia Linda,marriage s 4 men and women not boys n girls. Dat addage of urs s applicable 2 life's issues not marriage hun. U don't go 2 d grocery store 2 buy wat u don't nid odawise u hv a lot of stuffs in ur hands u may never nid! Pls always consult ur bible 4 God's prerogative on marriage,only den will u understand better. A marriage built on man's idea will crash! Remember d inexperienced built d ark(Noah n co) and d "experienced"built titanic. U know d rest story!
DeleteAsamkptokotokotototoooooo! Bulls ye man!! *thumbs up*
Deletemarriage has no reverse gear,jus dat pple ain't grabin it dat way any longer.
DeleteAsamkpokoto on point. Yup.
DeleteAsamkpotoko,whoever u re,u shall live long.Dias no wrong road in marriage.Incompatibility is simply lack of knowlege.If u decide to recieve wisdom u can successfully live wt even de devil's son or daughter.De question is,how many re seekin 4 divine wisdom?Dey'll rather settle 4 man-made advice.
DeleteAsamkpokoto has said it all. If ure married u'l understand that point of view. I'm happily married and I'l add, it isn't always like that. Sometimes I ask myself why I married my husband other times I'm glad I did. This is d general emotion married couples go through on a daily basis. If ure a mature person, u'l understand that's how it is. This is why I'l always advise anybody getting married to make sure they go for counceling before getting married because that is what prepares u for marriage. U better sit ur butt in ur marriage and make it work! That's why the bible says: for better for worse ie no escape route......
Deletestop applying the proverb in the wrong context... why didnt you apply that before marriage?if you are a true christian, you should realise the weight that marriage carries and how sacred that arrangement is to the originator of the institution...stop trying to find a way out of marriage instead work hard and pray to make it work..it may not be a day, week, month or a year for things to get better but with much effort and prayer, marriage can be blissful...it's too late to start wondering and lamenting on how you got with the wrong woman...on that note, NO it is not applicable to marriage...this isnt hollywood
ReplyDeleteU make a turn around nah.....its better to break a relationship/courtship than to patch it up and end up in marital bruises.....
ReplyDeleteHmmn, yh it shuld be applied. But its gonna be hard o. Its not easy o.
ReplyDeleteNo,its not.In marriage,there's no turning back,and for me,there's nothing as being with the wrong person,be the right person...that works more 4 me.But in your case where u feel you're with the wrong person,pray for that person,seek good counsel,pray again,talk about your issues,pray again,till you get a positive result outta the situation.May God help you. LatinoPINKY
ReplyDeleteSimple! U take a walk and search for the right person....see ehhhn we all make mistakes and God knows that too.if u find out ur with d wrong person trying to patch tins up will only lead to more hell. Pray and ask for directions from God and d reasons must b genuine oh no be say becos d guy no get money again u wii na come and say u think he was d wrong person for u oh
ReplyDeleteNa you go sit down start asking rubbish questions around. Make you no fine work to do
ReplyDeletelmao see policeman risking his life with a moving usual because of bribe!photo
Leave that fellow
ReplyDeletefrom my point of veiw, since marriage is an earthly affair, if it not working out you just have to turn back, turning back doesn't mean you should start flirting but a chance to correct your mistake in the first marriage and if God's willing you find a man worthy then you can start afresh with him.
ReplyDeleteYou are referring to "what God has joined together let no man put asunder" as an earthly affair???
DeleteAre you aware that as recently as 400yrs ago that the Christian Church saw marriage as a sin? As a form of prostitution where the woman offered the man s*x as payment for her upkeep? It was societal pressure and legislation that forced the Church to change its mind? So whether we like it or not it is an 'earthly affair'.
DeleteYou don't have to turn back. Use that same road to navigate to the 'destination ' you seek
ReplyDeleteHmmmm nigerian marriages is not what Ў☺ΰ jst back off from like that esp d female folks,I guess through communication things can change
ReplyDeleteMake a 360 degree turn around fast.
ReplyDeleteThis does not follow entirely. When it comes to relationships there is no perfection so one has to work hard to keep afloat. U can only turn back when u have done everything humanly possible..
ReplyDeleteOne of the very few sensible comments
DeleteThis does not follow entirely. When it comes to relationships there is no perfection so one has to work hard to keep afloat. U can only turn back when u have done everything humanly possible..
ReplyDeleteAnd again how do u discern you're with the wrong person?
ReplyDeleteIf you can detect that,then you can even tell Christs second coming. coz people cam hide their real self.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310
you endure cause you dont know how the next one will be
ReplyDeleteAs far as am concerned God is nt in support of divorce,dats why u nid to find out in details who u wanna marry,bt most ladies marry pocket n forget to observe her spouse n at d end of d wedding dey realise dey married d wrong guy.my little advice is nt dont marry d guy financial status or d ladies background do more research no hw u wil see sumthing strange
ReplyDeleteTurn back.
ReplyDeleteYou make a u-turn my dear..no questions asked!..take it from someone that has done did it. Life is way too precious to be anything but happy..so if you are 100% sure you are on the wrong lane,you switch asap no excuses no apologies,and oh fcuk what "people"would say course at the end,they'd still talk regardless..
ReplyDeleteCat got my tongue on dis one!
ReplyDeleteCat got my tongue on dis one!
ReplyDeleteTake a walk cz life is one....U can't b uhappy forever cuz marriage is a life time tin...Cafie
ReplyDeleteVery tough tho in Africa esp Nigeria...#freedomforwomen
ReplyDeleteMaraige is different to all other relationships because its a covenant. A covenant is not something you enter, the suddenly you feel its wrong then jump out. Thats why its very important to be completely sure before you enter. You must look well into all matters just as the Bible ask us.
ReplyDeleteDown to you question, first of all you must in all sincerity ponder over the reason why you believe you married the wrong woman. I say this because I know especially men, when they found someone they wished they were with, or have heard news about other people's wives or their on wife has disagreed or refuded to support them on a particular issue, they scream wolf. You have completely misinterpreted this adage completely Mr, the turning back in that adage does not mean leaving your wife, china has a different culture to yours. Don't apply another man's culture, religion and way of life to justify or use as an excuse to break your home.You must do everything within your power to ensure you make your marraige work, call your wife and tell her what you feel. Don't be selfish, do averything in your might to save your home, only then will you be blameless.
In all things, do unto others as you will have done unto you. Now ask yourself and be very honest, if you could read your wife's mind, How would you fell if she thinks the same of you and uses that silly adage as her excuse?
In my opinion, it's a big NO. That's why both of them must pray very well before getting married. Moreover, bible doesn't allows it. it's just another way of sleeping with another opposite sex.
ReplyDeleteShort answer is YES! Long answer is WHY NOT?
ReplyDeleteI know many people will tell you to stay there because of bla bla. You know you are with the wrong person, why would you want to remain there? For your sanity, happiness and most of all, for the fear of God, do the right thing and leave if you truly want to make progress. Some people deceive themselves that something wrong will suddenly become right. God is not mocked. Do what you know is right. God bless.
ReplyDeleteAm in this situation, I need answers!
ReplyDeleteIts a life long journey not something you change your mind on later. That's y they say, take your time before you enter. Don't rush in. Its pointless. Marry when you know you can forgive anything and nothing will make you leave ur patner.
ReplyDeleteI jst applied d law of qiut mine..........
ReplyDeleteMake corrections immediately because you won't be happy knowing fully well that you have made wrong decisions...I'd rather do something and be happy than whine and endure an uncomfortable situation ...it's just not worth it
ReplyDeleteThis one hard o.
ReplyDeleteWalk away peacefully
ReplyDeleteAnything can be fixed, anu situation and person too. God made marriage as a beautiful thing, in most cases its not I married the wrong person but the peron changed when we got married. Or you are trying to change your husband or wife. Having a negative attitude doesn't help, always thiniking I've made a mistake, I can't do this will affect your reality and make it a reality. How about you start by positively changing yourself and praying for your spouse and not giving up. God can fix anything get him involved,to make a positive change in any situation it must start with you
ReplyDeleteLinda I dot tink dis is applicable to marriage or else d woman will continue to change husband at every given time n it will also affect the woman emotionally n she will break down .Marriage is not boyfriend n girlfriend case is better u dot enter @ all than entering n coming out of it
ReplyDeleteNo not at all my dear,this simply shows dat d mariage is falling apart
ReplyDeleteAbeg linda ask google or use 50/50
ReplyDeleteKeep urselves as fuck mate micheeew
ReplyDeleteFor better for worse
ReplyDeleteDon't be ridiculous, dis proverb does not apply to marriage
ReplyDeleteIt applies to everything in life including marriage. Sadly in Nigeria, people start looking for ways of making the wrong road right, looking for short cut and justifying their position. They are too proud to turn around and go back to the right road. It takes humility and we are not humble people. That is why Nigeria is where is it today.
ReplyDeleteYou can spend minutes,hours,days or even months over-analyzing a situation,trying to put the pieces together,justifying what could've,would've happened....or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the f**k ON --2Pac
ReplyDeleteTake a walk
ReplyDeleteLinda post my comment oo. Marriage is for better for worse dats y ur adviced to court....
ReplyDeleteitt depends ooo.
ReplyDeleteMake good daily money online into your naija account here, click to see
For better for worse
ReplyDeleteU turn back,infact continue turning bck as soon as you realise u've been with the wrong partner,wen you continue with this method with several men/women u've been married to nobody will tell you to stop!anuofia! Wrong direction ko,turn back ni!
ReplyDeleteJamb question!
ReplyDelete#Confused#
ReplyDeleteMake an about turn and walk away and that's progress
ReplyDeleteI knw bt I won't write it.
ReplyDeleteAll I want is, let Asuu not call off dis strike dis year again
Ummmh! we all knw dat marriage is nt an easy journey,bt hw do u knw u married d wrong person? Is it becos of d ups & downs,disagreement nd so on,do u knw if d next person u meet will be worse,no two person re ever dsame nd dat is y God pair u 2geda,@least there ws love btw u b4 u decided 2 marry each oda,if theres no love,deirs a kind of feeling u ve maybe smtin abt him attract u,d only reason y u lost interest is weda dat tin u sw in d person is no more there,dats simple u can work on dat,do d tins u did b4 gettin married dat made u love each oda,put ur best into ur marriage,dnt eva giv up on trying,read books,go 4 counselling & most of all talk 2 God in prayer,u knw wat,life itsef can nvr giv u its best until u try hard nd so u cant giv up on lyf jst bcos u re nt gettin tin ryt so dnt giv up on ur marriage,forgive whole heartedly,love unconditionally,it wont cost u anytin,life is short.
ReplyDeleteIBEJU-LEKKI: Over 100 acres of virgin land is at the new lagos in ibeju lekki going for 900k(legal fees and agency inclusive) per plot, its 10mins drive to d new Airport and 15mins drive to d new Seaport and Trade zone, 7 mins drive to Eleko beach. All plots packed legally without hassle from area boys, contact us Asap as d land is fast been bought, and d price is steadily on d increase, don't miss out on this virgin land highly lucrative for business, residential and commercial purposes. Pls contact 0806107664, 08084438814 for more details.
ReplyDeleteMy dear it is not easy to leave a marriage just like that especially when there are kids involved, i will never leave mine for any reason.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is for "better, for worst" u hand everything to God who knows how to perfect all, leaving the man is nt the best, the devil u know is better than the angel u don't know.
ReplyDeleteWrong! D angel u dunno is better than d devil u know.. Abeg erase dat saying. Will an angel harm U?
DeleteEndure cos marriage is for Better for Worse. Lol
ReplyDeleteU still ve to turn back or u ll get lost the more!
ReplyDeleteLol Dunno too o
ReplyDelete#didi
As simple as dat,leave d marriage and hope for d best
ReplyDeleteYou make sure you don't marry the wrong person. Marriage is not a joke. Its one of the most important decisions one will ever make in ones life if not the most. There are no excuses that's why you date first. Marry when its right for you and for the right reasons. Rememeber "better for worse"
ReplyDeleteWhat's with all the adages?
ReplyDeleteDragging and dragging it.
Pointless post.
Divorce if the relationship is irretrievably broken.
ReplyDeleteIf u'r with the wrong woman, u should do an about-turn and move to the right lane or woman, cos the soonest u do that, the better it is for u..But that's wen u are nt married yet.. Cos marriage is for better for worse.. So I don't think its applicable to marriage..
ReplyDeleteNo be by force, leave the marriage quick before u die of heart attack. Peace of mind is important in marriage.
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost,commit the relationship to God, seek him thoroughly. Don't be hasty to make decisions. The second part is that when its time to give up, u will surely know that. But before u give up, try counselling. Most often its hard to communicate our problems to each other, but in the presence of a third party(Pastor or therapist) u can each be given an opportunity to express ur feelings. It is also true that no amount of counselling can change ones true character; but prayers can. However sometimes and in severe situations(domestic violence, abuse etc) walking away does not make u a looser, its actually going towards that right direction. But yeah I do feel ur pain, but then again do Not make Emotional decision on baseless fact because u might discover that the right way may just still lead u back to the wrong spot, and all that has been lost is time and love. Work on it, give it a go! Talk, have prayer sessions. Just know when to walk away, but pls for the right reason. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteLeave the man,before the marriage kills or wreck u physically or emotionally...
ReplyDeleteWell Linda it's only when u re married that u will realize the difference between single and married status. Its not a bed of roses for both couples. there re times of challenge but the man should be courageous to accept responsibilities and head his home to positivity because he's the groom and should groom the wife till death do them part as vowed during marriage ceremonies. Things always seems to go well and respectful for couples where the man is far older than the wife, reason being that he will understand and manage the lady's xteristic(in terms of maturity/age and expectations).
ReplyDeleteIf your marriage is going the wrong way dont run away, correct it, but dont make it public
Story! The worst relationship ve had is with the "older man" common sense no dey respect age joor, no decieve ur sef! My present bf is 2 yrs younger than me and very manly.
DeleteTry to make it work.prayer is d key
ReplyDeleteSometimes if you've tried so hard to clear that road many times and is not getting anywhere, I'll advice that person to walk back and choose a new path, if not is going to cause a lot of pain.
ReplyDeleteHow do you define a wrong man or woman for u in marriage? Even with "match-made-from-heaven" phrase. ..some marriages go through turmoil. .is he wrong when he cant afford a trip to UK like he used because of financial crises...or because she added a few pounds after giving birth to ur lovely kids? I think this generation forgets so much about tolerance n go for convenience. ..they forget understanding n go with choices. When we understand what a wrong man or woman is? and why they r "wrong" then this topic is up for discussion...else
ReplyDeleteSome marriages are hell on earth,it's better 2 quit than sacrificn ur life on a marriage dat wl always cause U̶̲̥̅̊ pain / agony 4 d rest of ur life.
ReplyDeleteVery true. A lot of us have faced hell in our marriage. Do not want to leave because of what ppl will say. What if he is beating and cheating? Rubbish me I will leave very soon
DeleteI dnt believe dt dere is anytin lyk d wrong man or woman. Marriage is 4 mature mindz n tolerancen understanding n love r d wtch words
ReplyDeleteTry to change the person, and if it didn't work out, then u can leave. As for me I can't trade my happiness with anything in this world.
ReplyDeleteDer is always a way to work it out!
ReplyDeleteI doubt very much if one would enjoy or appreciate living life and the entity called marriage if it is constantly ringing at the back of the person's mind that he/she is caught up in a bad marriage.
ReplyDeleteI would humbly suggest that the person feeling like the union is wrong should talk with the partner and try sorting things out if there is any possibility of doing so or respectfully walk away from the marriage.
If we are to follow the GOOD BOOK(BIBLE) you av to stay in there till u cn prove ur spouse is engaging in adultery...then u can divorce...but if u want to marry again,mk sure ur spouse is dead(didnt send u msg to go and kill ooo)...and den followin ur chinese proverb,do about-turn na...
ReplyDeleteLindiway no. Perfect man or woman anywhere, wit prayers,endurance God wil perfect ur marriage.divourse not d solution o
ReplyDeleteEndure
ReplyDeleteNo it is not applicable;i sense you're looking for a way to opt out of that marriage.Stay and fix!Marriage is for better;for worse!
ReplyDeleteLadyF
Divource is no way out, prayer does all tins av bn dere,der re enemies of ur marrital destiny so watch and pray.
ReplyDeleteIt depends...easier said than done
ReplyDeleteDo an about face! For better for worse isn't exactly pristine when it's threatening your self esteem or respect.
ReplyDeleteAs long as you are married to d man turning back is not an option unless in a situation he beats u up. The best thing to do is to pray for God to intervene and perfect your marriage. Bt if u guys are not yet married, my dear take a walk
ReplyDeleteYou can't say that. You should have loved him/her for you to be willing to spend your life with each other. I don't know why people don't take marriage seriously. You should have studied your partner and be willing to accept their flaws(if you can) before marriage. Anyway, you should be willing to talk it out with your partner(you owe it to him/her) see if they're willing to change. If it doesn't work out, include his/her family members or church members. If you can't do all this things you simply did not love him/her in the first place and it is your burden to bear.
ReplyDeleteThe fashion whisperer…
Hmm... Dicey
ReplyDeletesure th best is to work out of th marriage n move on to get it right
ReplyDeleteNo it doesn't!rembr God is d author of marriages and he views it sacred,d only reason u shud walk out on a marriage is if ur spouse cheats on u and is caught.any issue aside dat can be solved if both parties really wants things 2 work. linda dear plz post.
ReplyDeleteAm in a dilenma,my connection with my spouse is soooo gone,but my family adores him,I feel its a wrong turning but am scared of what people would say...
ReplyDeletemarriage is an exception to that rule.
ReplyDeletemarriage is an exception to that rule.
ReplyDeleteƱ shld hv look b4 u leap!! Obago buna obago,work ur marriage out cos God hates divorce!!! Pretty Moi
ReplyDeleteBorrow my leg and piante for ur life.... including marriage however u can work on ur marriage before leaving
ReplyDeleteAsk for God mercy.
ReplyDeleteMake d best of it
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeletemake him the right man, no man is perfect. and if its still did not work out ask GOD FOR DIRECTION
I will fly, fly, fly, fly out to no where.
ReplyDeletepray to GOD FOR DIRECTION
ReplyDeleteOf course it is applicable. I'll rather be alone than unhappy.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, it depends on wat u describe as 'the wrong man or woman' bcos tins ar not goin the way u wnt it to does not mean its a wrong marriage. It culd b somtin u can settle amicably lyk mature adults.. Remenber, the bible permits divorce only on d bases of adultery nd even admonishes us to forgive if we can. Its better to forgive nd leave the rest to God. I believe he sees!
ReplyDeletelove is spent,then hatred sets in
ReplyDeleteMy dear the bitter truth is marriage is a no U-Turn journey.you in it already.the only thing is to think of how to make it right.
ReplyDeleteStay there!! Wateva got u there in d first place should pull you through d remaining years!! It's y its adviced to enter a marital union discretely and with prayers!!
ReplyDeletePls quit
ReplyDeleteI'll simply take a walk 4d sake of my unborn children
ReplyDeletehummm always hard to turn back buh serzly all u nid do is to tink wise nd make a turn
ReplyDeletevery serious question"if its applicable to marriage" Ahhh dunno ooooo
ReplyDeleteThats why there is something called courtship,u need to kow who yur really spending the rest of your life with. Marriage is for better for worse so there is no going back!
ReplyDeleteThere's no permission for divorce in marraige except on the grounds of infidelity, that's why it is always adviced for one to be careful when making a choice of marital partner, don't ever think you can marry someone and change the person, it is better to break a courtship. Once you're married and get to discover that your partner is the worst on earth, you're in for it for life because the bible says God hates divorce.
ReplyDeleteIt takes lots of courage and strength especially for a marriage that have been blessed with kids, hw do Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ relate the story to ya kids; that the family have to be divided cuz Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ feel or believe Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ made a mistake or took the wrong road? Its complicated with marriage
ReplyDeleteonce married you become right for each other, except one person as attempted to kill the other, please pray and work at it, you'll be glad you did in the end.
ReplyDeleteNo its not, marriage is for better or for worst, no turning back, so be sure b4 u start dat journey
ReplyDeleteIssues on marriage are usually more complicated than that... firstly it's good to seek the face of God before jumping into marriage. Secondly, even marriages that are made in heaven will have rocky periods, it is the duty of the couple to weather those storms, when a marriage gets to a stage where both the couple or one of them are no longer willing to try to make It work, then that marriage is just like having a roommate. Thats why it's important to know your spouse' Love language. I strongly recommend this book 'The 5 Love Languages' by Gary Chapman.
ReplyDeleteonce married you become right for each other, except one person as attempted to kill the other, please pray and work at it, you'll be glad you did in the end.
ReplyDelete"For better for worst" Ƨ̷̜̩̌̋o u. Either make D̶̲̥̅̊ marriage work or u make it Work
ReplyDeleteTurn back to ur creator. Bcos he wasn't involve in the first place, if he was U̶̲̥̅̊ wouldn't have gone into a wrong marriage.
ReplyDeleteAfrica- stick Ue butts there, it's for better for worse. But for moi, sharp 360
ReplyDeleteTurning 360 puts u back in the same direction. U can try a circular spin as a test.
DeleteLinda d mistake has already been done ooo
ReplyDeleteU've re-echoed Linda's point. Now yours is to say what you would do to tackle the mistake.
DeleteInstead of leaving y nt change d person to what u want him or her to be
ReplyDeleteYou can't change nobody!
DeleteNooo u hav to stay ooo if its a christian marriage it is for BETER or WORSE and since u in d worse aspect u hav to jus pray for God to grant u grace and love in ur heart for him unless u catch him/her comitin adultery even in dat case it has to be explained bit by bit but in dis case swthrt u jus nid graceand u hav to seek d Face of God selflesly
ReplyDeleteSorry this proverb can not fully be applied in marriage, you can only turn to look for the pieces and mend it up,not looking for a new one.In case of no adultry it is retracable.
ReplyDeleteMARRIAGE IS FINAL O. FOR ME EXCEPT WHEN UR LIFE IS AT RISK OR ADULTERY (as the bible seyz) . EVRITHING DEPENDS ON HOW YOU HANDLE IT.
ReplyDeletelinda u dey do partial,na every where partial dey
ReplyDeleteLinda wetin I do you,u dnt like postin my comments.mtcheeew I tire jewe,am out.cos u dnt knw ow many hours I use on ur blog.mtheeeeewwww. #cherry##
ReplyDeleteWhen you discover you are with the wrong man/woman...you should ask yourself...Are you the right man/woman??...marriage really isn't a mart where u come and go as you please..this adage can't be applied to it...
ReplyDeleteAs a believe in the word of God, You pray and continue to believe for a positive change. you have already made the mistake. God hates divorce but he can turn a bad situation/marriage to the best. You pray for God to heal your marriage, continue to trust in Him and be obedient to his words.
ReplyDeleteLindi, where my comment? You don start! Ok ooo! God is watching you!
ReplyDeleteFirstly I think you should indicate how long U guys have dated/courted, cus if you can like a person, fall in love, then say Yes. I. Do. At the alter then the marriage can still work, if they did not blackmail or Jazz U into the marriage. If you leave this marriage, you can be sire the next one will have its own wahala as well. So beware, cus you attract what you carry as a person, whether you agree or not. So look within first, do your part, seek God's face for mercy. If the problem is one that will endanger ur life and its still persistent, then you may have to leave. God bless you. DatShortBoi
ReplyDeleteFirstly I think you should indicate how long U guys have dated/courted, cus if you can like a person, fall in love, then say Yes. I. Do. At the alter then the marriage can still work, if they did not blackmail or Jazz U into the marriage. If you leave this marriage, you can be sire the next one will have its own wahala as well. So beware, cus you attract what you carry as a person, whether you agree or not. So look within first, do your part, seek God's face for mercy. If the problem is one that will endanger ur life and its still persistent, then you may have to leave. God bless you. DatShortBoi...aunty Linda I dey always pray for U O! Thats enough "bribe" to post my comment...lol ;-)
ReplyDeleteIMAOBONG JOHN, MY DARE, WIT GOD AITHING RE POSSIBLE, GIVE YUR LIFE TO GOD, LOOK ON TO GOD 4 YUR MARRIAGE B PRAYAFUL, PLS DON'T GO A WAY 4 YUR MARRIAGE,IT IS A SIN BE 4 GOD,B PRAYAFUL N U WLL enjoy yur marriage,GOD WLL HELP U IJN AMEN.
ReplyDeleteMARRRIAGE IS A CONVENANT NOT A CONTRACT SO THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE
ReplyDeleteLeave-why stay together when you are unhappy.
ReplyDeleteRushel
Linda where is you like botton? 1000 likes for Anon 10:37am comment.
ReplyDeleteUnless there is a threat to life, there should be no reasons for divorce. Divorce is ugly and can be destructive to all parties and children involved. Unfortunately some people suddenly realize their partner is no more the 'right' person, based on flimsy excuses or their feelings.
ReplyDeleteWhen a man and woman take a vow before God and everyone, they promise to stick together in good times and bad times. Faithfulness and commitment are not based on feelings, but honouring the vow they made.
It is therefore important for young men and women to be careful while on courtship. Marriage is not a status symbol, it is about lives coming together and bringing forth more lives. When toyed with, marriage has the capacity to destroy not just the couple, but their children and extended families.
I urge all single people out there, please don't get so desperate that you marry the next available man or woman you see. Ask questions, use common sense, and be prayerful. Courtship is not a period to have sex like rabbits or spend a man or woman's money. It is a period of finding out if this person will be a good partner to you and a good parent to your unborn children.
May God help us make wise decisions, amen.
It's very simple: LOVE WHO YOU MARRY NO MATTER WHAT! God is not the authour of divorce, you chose the person anyway and its very simple to love...just make up your mind to love.
ReplyDeleteOnce you marry, your spouse is the right person for you. Secrets to a successful marriage:
ReplyDelete1. Don't trust your spouse (Micah 7:5)it will lead to frustration, trust God.
2. Marriage is to be endured (James 1:12), if you endure you will be happy in the end.
3. Can two walk together except they agree, No! BUT if you CHOOSE to agree with your spouse (compromise), you both can walk together.The success to your marriage is in your hands, do the necessary and make compromises no matter how long and how many times you have to.
@Anonymous 10:37, God bless you, great words of wisdom to the fast food generation!
ReplyDeleteI am married, and i have seen first hand the effect of prayer in my marriage and the person my hubby has become. No situation is difficult for the God that created the world in 7 day. His plan for marriage is for it to be blissful and a union of joy.
ReplyDeleteThe bible says "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord". Ask Him to change the situation in your marriage. There is no turning back for a true christian that believes in God, and His ability to do the impossible.
I'm in the same situation. There's no connection whatsoever just acting. Only dilemma is that there is a child involved. Wish I listened to my dad and ex who warned me against marrying him.....
ReplyDeleteIf u say someone is the WRONG PERSON ........Are you the RIGHT PERSON TOO. Is anyone perfect..Who exactly is the RIGHT PERSON FOR YOU?
ReplyDelete⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥A̶̲̥̅♏ not sure dis so called chines proverb shud be applicable τ̲̅ǿ marriages..especially here in naija..!!
ReplyDeleteWhenever, you are sincerely convinced you are on the wrong road or wrong bus, it is stupid to keep going on. This is applicable to marriage. God hates divorce but I sincerely believe He hates more that innocent people die or get destroyed because they refuse to let go of a destructive marriage. When you have done all on your part to make it work and the other party is reckless, violent and a clear threat to your life or well-being, it is better to leave in peace. As humans we are allowed to make mistakes. The fear of mistakes have made many not to dare into marriage. If you mistakenly married a devil and he begins to show himself/herself, it cannot be wrong to consider running away. Only do not get into marriage with you having an intention to bolt at the slightest excuse. Let it be the other party and his/her life-threatening, intolerable and incorrigible actions or conduct that justifies your leaving. Marriage is a covenant, not a cult. A covenant is simple an agreement that once the other party violates we are also free to void if he continues. Do all to get your partner change but if he does not, God will not condemn you for taking your life and living on. That is not the sin. No one is capable of changing another who is not willing. It is a risky gamble.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to say, but if one has to speak very fairly, most people who say they are in a wrong relationship or married the wrong person, are actually the ones with a problem or problems. Everyone is created to be distinct or unique. You should not expect your spouse to behave in a particular manner or compare her/him to someone else's spouse.When he/she does not conform to your expected standards, you now embark on a project of change or pray for change to suit your expectations. When that fails as well, you are forced to conclude you made a wrong choice for a spouse. I am not trying to say that there are no genuinely difficult cases. But most times, we humans tend to be unnecessarily judgemental with the slightest provocation not wanting to give benefits of doubt. This happens mostly when one spouse has already developed a bias for the other for whatever reason. Every effort the supposedly wrong partner makes to ensuring a happy home tends to fall below expectations and instead aggravates the situation. Nobody is super-human. People GENUINELY looking for LIFE (and I mean life) partners should look out for those they can really bond with and have common interests and level of reasoning and they should put that into prayers. Jumping into marriage with just anyone just because your mates are getting marriage is one of the worst things you can do to yourself. Do not deceive yourself that you are trying to change your partner. you, yourself I believe need more changing than your partner. My opinion though.
ReplyDeleteI was under pressure to marry when i turned 40 and out of pressure i married a facebook friend.I had never set my eyes on her,just telephone and chats.when i flew into Nigeria,i hurriedly did the court wedding.The minute i stepped outside the court was when it dawned on me that i have screwed my life big time.the marriage scattered within two months
ReplyDeleteI was under pressure to marry when i turned 40 and out of pressure i married a facebook friend.I had never set my eyes on her,just telephone and chats.when i flew into Nigeria,i hurriedly did the court wedding.The minute i stepped outside the court was when it dawned on me that i have screwed my life big time.the marriage scattered within two months
ReplyDeleteDie there!!! Lol.
ReplyDeleteBut really I think it is wrong to say you discovered the other person is the wrong person. Its so selfish!!! The person no changed na... so you need to decide and convince yourself to making it work. With the help of God and understanding of your partner, it will work.
It's not esay to turn when u're married especially if kids are involved.
ReplyDeleteIf you are going to come out blind in one eye or a nervous wreck who people will call mad woman, then I don't see any amount of preaching that should keep you in there. Forget what all these lucky and I-Know-All christians have to say. When one is lucky, instead of being grateful, the person tends to talk anyhow.
ReplyDeleteSome men nor good. Person nor go fit manage them. You wan craze? Ok, stay there na.
ReplyDeleteTHIS ISSUES HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING RELIGIOUS , BECAUSE THERE ARE SOME PASTORS WHO ARE DIVORCING THEIR WIVES , AND A LOT OF THEM ALSO CHEAT , MARRIAGE IS A DANGEROUS GAME , THERE IS A LOT OF PRESSURE IN IT , AS SOON AS YOU SAY YES I DO , BECAUSE FROM THAT NIGHT YOU RECEIVED THAT RING , IT MEANS , YOU HAVE TO OBEY YOUR MASTER , AND EVERYTHING CHANGE, THE PERSON YOU THINK YOU TRUST AND LOVE , BECOME SOMETHING ELSE , SEX BECOME A DUTY, IN WHICH YOU CAN NOT SAY NO TONIGHT , SORRY I FEEL TOO TIRED MY DEAR, AS SOON AS YOU SAY THIS , HE WILL GRADUALLY IGNORE YOU , IN WHICH IF YOU NEED ANYTHING HE MAY REFUSED , JUST BECAUSE YOU SAY NO YESTERDAY. SOME MEN MAY NOT TALK TO YOU FOR WEEKS , NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY AND READY TO MAKE LOVE TO HIM , HE WILL STILL BE GRUMBLING . AGAIN , IF YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING , SUDDENLY YOUR HUSBAND MAY SAY , I DO NOT WANT YOU TO GO TO WORK . THEN, WITH THESE TYPE OF PROBLEM , IF YOU ARE NOT CAREFUL . IT MAY LEAD YOU TO DIVORCE., WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO SAY IS THAT MARRIAGE IS FOR THOSE WOMEN WHO ARE HIGHLY INTELLIGENT .
ReplyDeleteWell Iη marriage it depends on the wrong ǚ я experiencing before ǚ make A̶̲̥̅ ǚ turn...remember G☺D̶̲̥̅̊ hates divorce.
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If u can maintain control to avoid adultery, great! Maybe u can endure. But even if u do make a mistake and have an affair, u should come to ur senses. However, if there's no compatibility etc. u may never stay faithful. In the end the God will judge.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry bt if you are a Christian, divorce is not an option. Only except if your spouse committed adultery. I want to add If there's a threat to human life. Marriage is all about compromise, if even twins do not agree, how much for 2 individuals from diverse backgrounds. If you've tried private dialogue not it's not working, how about seeking help of a marriage counselor. Both parties hv to be willing. You have to take some responsibility for the present state of things. Don't try to change anyone, when they make that decision on their own, it's more genuine.otherwise they'd be acting. Talk to God about it, be careful who u pour ur heart out to. You have to be the right person too for your partner. I wish you well.
ReplyDeleteI find it amusing the way so called Nigerian Christians are so quick to quote the bible whenever the discussion concerns marriage. As if marriage was meant for only Christians. Some even talk about 'christian' marriage! But how many know that until about 360years ago there was nothing like that? The Christian Church was firmly against marriage - called it a sin against God; a form of prostitution where the woman offered the man sex in return for her maintenance. Before then couples lived together without the benefit of a church wedding and separated when they got tired. Trial marriages were common and acceptable. It was politicians who legislated that except a marriage was blessed by a clergyman it was not legal. The Church had to reluctantly agree but they insisted that the couple should stand outside the doors of the church so they don't contaminate the inside of the church with their lust and sin!! With time the church has now fully taken over!! That was the begin of our proudly acclaimed 'Christian' marriages.
ReplyDeletesome pple are idiots. using religion 2 justify why someone shud remain unhappy. true christian indeed. leave the marriage if its no longer worth it, simple. am talking 2 u from experience, the earlier the better
ReplyDeleteI understand wot you mean and wot your going thru, but I advice you make a U-Turn. Speaking from experience , I dated dis guy fr @least 3yrs, we ended up getting married and the marriage lasted for just 2month and we go our separate ways. I ended up finding the right Man fr me, and I'm happily Married now n blessed with a 1yr old Son. Smtyms, you don't need ppl's advices n choices. You just have to follow run heart and that inner voice and pray heard as well. Marriage ain't no bed of roses , and so also not all marriages r blessed or meant to be. Nne Linda post my comment oo. 1 of ur biggest fan.
ReplyDeleteIf you feel you married the wrong partner, then that partner must feel that he also married the wrong partner. To me, its a two-way thing. If you are already married, then its something you guys need to sit down and address. The issue is that you both made the wrong choice in marriage partners and you're willing to make it work realising the problem which is probably lack of love. Divorce is not in my dictionary. It takes people with an understanding of God and life as a whole to pull it off. A lot of people lack the patience for that new love to grow. I know its doable.....changing your ways and loving your partner right. The question is do we hv individuals who are willing to sacrifice?
ReplyDeleteLinda abeg post o!!!