Will Smith's wife writes on her Facebook page
Should I stay with a mate after she or he has cheated on me? (This is not referring to habitual cheaters. That is a different matter.)
This is a very personal choice, and there is no right or wrong answer.
If your partner is remorseful and is willing to work it out, I would
suggest trying to look at it from this vantage point. My observation has
been that when most people cheat, they are trying to solve a problem.
They are usually in some kind of emotional trouble or confusion that
they believed the cheating would relieve. What's interesting is that
most of the time the cheating has nothing to do with YOU. Now the
question becomes, are you willing to put all ego aside and reach for
some deep compassion to try to figure out what the trouble is, and, as
partners, try to solve it? Know this, if someone has cheated on you who
truly loves you, they have hurt themselves as much as they have hurt
you. This makes for a great opportunity to deepen the relationship with
thorough honesty, which creates deeper respect with some serious setting
of boundaries. This is also when love gets real and true and
illuminates what you are made of as a couple and as individuals.
Situations like these could be the windows to a deeper commitment OR...
to two separate paths on the way to look for new partners. Only the
unique nature of your specific relationship can be the telling factor.
Is he or she worth it?
J
No ways. A cheat will always b a cheat btw first to comment.
ReplyDeletemehn ure so childish
DeleteYes i would give him a second chance....2nd...just a second one..no one has to know, Many strong Women that have kept their marriages together like jada, one of d Marymary sisters know this...marriage doesnt seem like a smoothsail....
DeleteU're right Jada. Something most times pushes one to cheat n when resolved the relationship becomes more defined, more loving that u can't help but, give a second chance. Must not be repeated though.
DeletePersonal opinion. Thatz all
ReplyDeleteOracle ur right its a personal opinion cos 4me even if I catch my Hubby wit my maid won't quarel or talk abt it wil watch what he wil do wen he apolgise2me 4real I wil 4giv him nd love him cos no 1 is worth making me 2live my man.if its a habit dat he cheats I wil stil b wit him nd pray him stops cos we all na FRESH
Deletethat really true, nobody is perfect
ReplyDeleteI agree to some degree but a lot of times a cheat is always a cheat! Some leopards never change their spots!
ReplyDeleteI would plant a bullet in the head of any girl that cheats on me. I'm too good to be cheated on so what else do they need?
ReplyDeleteA man not a boy
DeleteThis attitude alone is enough 2 mk ur gal cheat... 'I'm too gud 2 b cheated on'....she mite need a lil breather 4RM all dis EGO!!!
DeleteNJ
Uhmmmmmmm
DeletePrince Jobless cnt u c ur jobless stupid u 4saying u wil plant a bullet in d head of any girl dat cheats on u. U might b gud bt wen it coms 2cheatin many tins are involve. Temptation, ur lak of attention 2ha, travelling 4a vry long time nd livin ha alone 4 2yrs. E.t.c just pray it doesn't happen 2u
DeleteGirls Una don hear am, run for ur life cos na bullet get Una, so says d Charmed Prince.
DeleteOde oshi ni prince jobless yi o. Arin din
DeleteU r Jobless and ur still yaking thrash......lol,they wanna cheat on u die?!?! Singing.......U gotta get a J O B,if u wanna be with me....
DeleteIf he or she cheats on you once, chances are he'll do it again.
ReplyDeletemadam shut up i beg...I dont even understand what the heck you're saying!!your explanation does not make sense..BUT you;re right that they deserve a second chance
ReplyDeleteI weep for Nigeria....if this excerpt written in the simplest form of expression is what you do not understand..your parents have wasted money...u are a bad and sad investment, they should have spent your school fees on alcohol and lottery...spend more time in the library and less on LIB
DeleteMaybe u should get a dictionary, understanding grammar might be ur problem cause her meaning is clear.btw I totally concur wif her.
DeleteNice advice.i sure do hope d victims heed.
ReplyDelete*pulcher*
Hmm, e go hard o!
ReplyDeletefirst. i think this is a no-brainer. anybody who has practical experience knows that a man may cheat or may hit his wife or smfn ad. the real test of the man is not in that he fell, but that he admitted it, was remorseful and never repeated it again
ReplyDeletehmmm, its all a matter of trust, if he cheats once, whats the guarantee dt he wont do it again. I love u Jada...so much.
ReplyDelete# lovestruck#
Once a cheat, always a cheat
ReplyDeleteAnd most pple have lost their spouse and partner cus of that saying....take it from someone with an experience, that saying is not always true, no 2 similar situations are the same, the differing factor is the pple involved. Like she wrote, are u willing to let go of your ego, cus pride is one of the reasons pple refuse to forgive...i have experienced both sides, the perpetual cheat and the remorseful, moment of poor judgement cheat...my only advice : if u find urself in that situation, analyze it critically and to thine own self, be true
DeleteNnem idi too much,tell them
ReplyDeleteCan I forgive a cheat? If he is remorseful, why not? After all, I have my own flaws too.
ReplyDeleteCan I forgive a cheat? If he is remorseful, why not? After all, I have my own flaws too.
ReplyDeleteI agree with her.
ReplyDeleteI guess naija guys are not included ooo. For dem its part of life.
ReplyDeleteMadam Linda, ur headline is misleading. She is talking about one time cheats and not habitual cheats. And she does say a person needs to decide if the person is worth it or not. She made some sense sha.
ReplyDeletetrue talk......i agree with jada
ReplyDeleteExactly jada,u got mi dere wit dese words.dats y u nd will av been 2gder al dese yrs.kudos madam smallie
ReplyDeleteMy opinoin is dat a cheat will alwayz be a cheat
ReplyDeleteI love all she said,but most especially women do forgive easily than men,but it takes d grace of God & wisdom to control a suituation like this.man saying
ReplyDeleteOff course...Every one deserves a second chance. A second chance is a second chance...Once cheating becomes a habit then there shouldn't be a 3rd or a 4th chance
ReplyDeleteThis lady is blessed with wisdom
ReplyDeleteShe wz gvn a second chance after all... Mnyle, its the truth.
ReplyDelete~D great anonymous!
No run away
ReplyDeleteobyazike.blogspot.co.uk
WHO WILL THROW THE FIRST STONE? WHO HAS NEVER CHEATED? WE ALL NEED FORGIVENESS AS MUCH WE HAVE CHEATED EVEN UP TO "77"! NEVERTHELESS AND HOWEVER WE NEED SELFCONTROL, SENSE OF COMMITMENT AND GODLY AWE TO REVERSE THE TIDE OF CHEATING AND FLIRTING IN MARRIAGES. WHETHER HABITUAL OR ACCIDENTAL CHEAT, A CHEAT IS A CHEAT. WE ARE ALL GUILTY! NOBODY SHOULD ASSUME A HOLIER-THAN-THOU-ATTITUDE JUST SHOW MERCY AND HELPOUT. CHEERS!!!
DeleteI have never cheated and I will never. ~PinK says so~
DeleteI have never cheated and I will never. ~PinK says so~
DeleteNa who we go ask Pink?
DeleteTrue talk Jada. Nice one
ReplyDeleteyes is true,how may man u wnt to try out before u find d 1 dat wnt cheat.but if a person cheat always dat sometin else,pack u load o
ReplyDeleteTrue talk jade!!!
ReplyDeleteOne thing I ve come to realise is that everyone cheats!hey!stop!don't crucify me!Us ladies,feel cos we love a man and re not married to him and we flirt with another man who we don't love,whether it be eye balling,dinner date or harmless hugs or going all the way for physical gratification;made easy by much advocated safe condoms,it counts for nothing!As long as the man we love knows nothing and is sure we can die or kill for him,then its not cheating!News flash,Na cheating oooo!As for men,their Anotomy is located outside their bodies.When breeze blow and the kini tanda,na who dey available go get the "short end" of the stick!For me, cheating is when my partner falls in love with another!how many flimsy hook ups I wan vex for?After all,our papa cheat on our mama and dem stll dey kampe dey do 40yrs wedding aniversary!if say our mama vex commot,we for know how far for broken home wahala!Except the "cheater" is disrespectfully doing it wit maids or doing it in public with bleached runs girls!since d bible days, men don dey cheat!Now that we ve mobile gadgets to aid this trend what can one do but fight when necessary?Better still look the other way?make no woman pack out cos man cheat!Teach him to use a condom to avoid stories that touch!kai!I don go write epistle o!Signed:Wide eyed!
ReplyDeleteOby azike mzz bland comments..at times I wonder what your personality'l be like.. miss oby's alwys concuring to any post,no opinion shior!but this jada pink pant make sense sha,come to think of it how she wan take leave fresh prince wth all em glory and all?linda plsna
ReplyDeleteEhn so wat about those married men that cheat, have unprotected sex with a lady, get them pregnant, lady has baby - u give them second chance abi hiiiiiiissss.
ReplyDeleteAlso wat about a married woman cheating repeatedly?
Or a married woman cheating and giving their husband a child that does not belong to the husband?
3rd chance abi?
Didn't u read what she wrote? Pple like u are so lazy or so dumb
DeleteJada is a very nice and intelligent woman. wisdom they say is profitable to direct. She's got wisdom, that's why her marriage is still intact.
ReplyDeleteAnd to you prince jobless, your comment has proved to me that you are an arrogant and egocentric person. You are too good to be cheated on right? how about she is too good for you to cheat on. And you will plant a bullet in her head. I hope your comment was on a lighter note, if not then take my comment serious. the disciples asked Jesus how many times should one forgive in a day...and He said 70X70. (seventy X seventy) that makes it 490x in a day. however, if you really understood Jada's comment, she said a person who cheats doesn't necessarily do it cos of the spouse... it is a cry for help...
all cheaters will be cheated on dat day dat no one will b allowed to cheat any one true talk dat me abexnonii
ReplyDeleteThe Smith's marriage is weird! Anywho, she is kinda right but the issue is you would never look at the person the same and if you cheat once you have a tendency of cheating again
ReplyDeleteThis is bullshit!!!
ReplyDeleteMen that cheat never want to change, they were like that before you met them and got married and they will always be like that...
There's nothing emotional about it, what is wrong is wrong
How sure are you that he is remorseful?
Men that cheat are actors, and they are one of the best
How can you be in bed with another woman and call your wife over the phone and boldly lie to her about a meeting and all cause you wanna have sex with another woman.
Well you never can tell how genuine a man remorseful-fullness is. If he's your husband and you still love him no matter what he does you will suck it in with love.
#L
I wÌll if the person really meant dt he is sorry although a cheat will always be a cheat.
ReplyDeleteThe rumour mill will start.....is he talking of will smith
ReplyDeleteWHO WILL THROW THE FIRST STONE? WHO HAS NEVER CHEATED? WE ALL NEED FORGIVENESS AS MUCH WE HAVE CHEATED EVEN UP TO "77"! NEVERTHELESS AND HOWEVER WE NEED SELFCONTROL, SENSE OF COMMITMENT AND GODLY AWE TO REVERSE THE TIDE OF CHEATING AND FLIRTING IN MARRIAGES. WHETHER HABITUAL OR ACCIDENTAL CHEAT, A CHEAT IS A CHEAT. WE ARE ALL GUILTY! NOBODY SHOULD ASSUME A HOLIER-THAN-THOU-ATTITUDE JUST SHOW MERCY AND HELPOUT. CHEERS!!!
ReplyDeleteYou know how U people would have reacted if it was Omotola that wrote exactly this same thing.
ReplyDeleteIs there a prize for first to comment or do people just say it for the sake of stupid vanity?
ReplyDeleteI agree. Bill and Hillary Clinton are practical examples.
ReplyDeleteWhat happens to the "TRUST". How do you deal with that? You never mentioned...
ReplyDeleteVery true!
ReplyDeleteYep..true talk
ReplyDeleter u kidding me? give a cheat a second chance dats falacy bt .....................come to think of it we all have flaws nd mess up one way or d orda i think we shld give a cheat a second chance
ReplyDeletePuleaz....naija men/boys she is nt talkin 2 u.u go see guy wey won marry dis weekend stil begging anoda hot babe make she gree do on friday.u go look d wife2b !u go see perfection.married men of 2 yrs or 1 year ve well blooming relationship wit dea gf,d gurls don't call dem @home or text either!d ve special sim 4 dat,d buy dem tinz d cnt buy 4 dea wives!d gurls are on dea bbm o but d change bbm names and clear chats!married men chase anytin and evrytin!dis our lagos ehn!u go hear al d tory wey dey shame marriage institution.married women now don open eye sef join.no time 4 dulling....young men wld b complaining say dea babes d fuck old man!you step ur game up?instead na 2collect frm ur babe,if u sef get money 4pocket u go join dem cheat,so pack well...na una guys dey cause al dese yeye tinz and una wan marry virgin!no yawa na but na witch virgin she go be!naija men are cheats!opportunist!wannab!if u don cheat on ur wife or gf or mistreated dem,u can neva amount 2sumtin!even if u do?e go run down...and al dese bitches wey dey fuck married men!finer hotter gurls wld fuck ur husbands die....so make una gather d money and lv bags and trips to dubai and al well...coz these are ur happiest moments of life!true b say if una look mirrior una no fyn lk b4....guess wat ?ur market don dey finish.so make al una continue.as 4 d faithful ones suffering!na una go enjoy @ d end.its high time ladies say no 2 married men and unmarried opportunists...
ReplyDeleteThis talk for make sense no be Naija men. Naija men are habitual cheaters and Naija man will never forgive his woman for cheating on him. So no need!
ReplyDeleteI agree with her totally. If your partner cheats and you move to the next person, what is the assurance that that person won't cheat too?
ReplyDeleteShe is saying that because she cheated with Jennifer Lopez Ex husband? ( i hear that rumour one time )
ReplyDeleteMy wife has cheated more than two times how long more. Ready to leave her cos she has no remores or guilt to what she has done> Women thought she was my Angel ,my Life I WAS WRONG,VERY VERY WRONG didnt see it coming Never meant for it to be this way.
ReplyDeletethere should be a second chance
ReplyDeleteyawn, na so she go dey advice now, till d day she or husband chop the one wey dem no fit swallow, divorce bitterly, then it will be another round of advice
ReplyDeleteto make a relationship work we need to have forgiving spirit so to those that thin a cheater can not change well said but what matters is your relationship with the person not how many hoes he has outside. nobody is perfect
ReplyDeleteIf my wife cheat on me she will go village straight, even if god ask me to collect her back, never!
ReplyDeleteD head of a lizard can't stop moving, so a cheat will die a cheat
ReplyDeletesome people have 2 brains located in their left/right buttocks... she said (This is not referring to habitual cheaters. That is a different matter.) and she added ( If your partner is remorseful and is willing to work it out, I would "suggest" trying to look at it from this vantage point.)
ReplyDeletemake una dey read with sense before u start vomiting comments. Olodos!
a hhmmmm 4 me!!! well is a Personal opinion thou...........NExt.
ReplyDeleteMmmmmmm cheating is a normal thing in niger,men wey no dey ever dey satisfy with wetin dem get.na so ona go cheat sooo tey ona go use girlfriend do wife,take wife do girlfriend.I can't stand a cheat and can never cheat. but if you fit risk second chance,na u sabi. Shirley
ReplyDeletewell what is bad is bad no matter hw matured you are, the true fact is lot of us lacks deceipline this is only for those on the right track of relationships
ReplyDeleteSometymz pple cheat bcoz dey r hurting nd deir partners are not exactly doing the right thing, if my patner cheated, I forgive initially nd try to find out if it was in any way my fault, if I had a fault,I'l try to change
ReplyDeleteI can never 4give ma partner, never.
ReplyDeletein nigeria,ur man cheats...u leave him? How many men(or husbands) u gonna leave cos they cheated? I don't condone cheating,what will determine whether I forgive him and stay is 1. If I still have love for him and feel there is hope yet for us to still live as one. 2. If I av kids for him(cos I dnt want my kids to be frm a broken home). 3. Even if I dnt love him so much again cos he hurt me bad with his cheating,can we still manage to be friends for d sake of d kids and d vows we took. I wnt throw my marriage away cos my husband bonked one shameless woman outside,especially if it was just for sex. I knw anybody can fall to temptation(even me,but for d fear of God and hell fire!),so all dis factors I will consider before I knw if the relationship can be saved. But no running to the divorce courts as a first option for me cos even God forgives me everyday of my sins.
ReplyDeleteIt is better to forgive love forgives and forgets look at our relationship with God we offend him yet he forgives us all the time to the extent we start doubting his existence.
ReplyDeleteJada, that's true sha, but one thing u missed out is that both u and Will have cheated and the right thing to do was to give each other a second chance-BTW forgiveness is a good thing dear...
ReplyDeleteTrue talk Jada, a man or woman shouldn't just leave their spouse or relationships just because he or she cheated once...out of frustation/confussion. Once they apolojise and is "remouseful" let them be forgiven and accepted back. If not... U never really loved Them really/totally! Yes!
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