Dear LIB readers: My husband is addicted to porn & I'm beginning to hate him
From a female LIB reader
I have been married for almost 2 years with an 8 mth old baby. I discovered shortly after I got married that my husband is really into pornography/masturbation. He's also
registered in pornography sites but claims he's not into cyber sex. I've confronted him several times and told him how I feel about it and he promised to stop. But every now and then he still does it.
He says it makes him perform better in bed and also its easier than having sex. He also says he
sometimes doesn't want to disturb me so prefers to masturbate sometimes. I can rate our sex life below average. Please what do I do because I am developing hatred in my heart for husband and can"t stand it any longer.
Porn addiction is like any other form of addiction! Therefore, it requires medical TREATMENT including a psychologist. I don't know if this is possible in Nigeria, because the only treatment Nigerians know about is prayer *rolls eyes*
I masturbate everyday. Sometimes three times a day. I watch porn all day and I believe this helps in building a healthy sex life. Women I get down with keep coming for more. Kudos to this God among men for continuing the fapping tradition, even after marriage. Fapping helps relieve stress.
My dear it's tiring to be a porn star for ur partner. My friend left her boyfriend cos he expected her to dress up, dance and do kinky stuff before they have sex, all the time. Once in a while is ok, but it's tiring when u have to put up a show everytime u want to have sex
Talk to him about it ..go for cancelling...just like alcohol and drugs, porn is a serious and dangerous addiction...........it is also well known that most men who are addicted to porn are usually weak in bed...because they dont know any basic and think what the fakery they watch is the real thing..i dont like it ...but if you want to watch occasionally i can bear it but when you addicted ...then there is a problem.....your husband has a problem he is in denial of ...talk to him and seek counselling and prayers...
Who told u dat men dat watch porn are weak in bed. U must be a joker. Y do u generalize like dat? Pls speak for urself. We can understand if ur sex life is frustrating.
Pray about it and start counselling as a couple. Habits like pornography and masturbation are hard to break, but not impossible.Make a concious effort to keep loving him and be his friend.
That's is your own side of the story, but yet to hear his own side of it, cus i don't see why your there and his is masturbating, is either ur the type that don't like sex or your the type that gives him reason like crazy, i feel ur still not telling us every thing, infact you should thank Your God he don't sleep out side. My dear sit up and fix things up, now is still early
The truth is this.......Most guys engage in porn and masturbation sometimes even though they keep it a secret(Guys!....Be Sincere;u feel guilty inside).....the only difference here is that ur hubby has come out openly to u......the way to go about it is simple......watch the porn with him and screw the living day light out of him during and after the flicks.He will forcefully masturbate less and u will get better in bed......Both of u are happy.....Its that easy.
That is so untrue. I have dated someone who was addicted to masturbation. It didn't matter the frequency and intensity of our sex life, he still had reasons to masturbate. I had to take off when I learned dats why he had lost some of his previous relationship, in his word, "just because of a small issue like dat, they left". The "dat" is continuous masturbation. Having intense and frequent sex all d time will not stop a guy who is addicted to masturbation; same goes for ponography.
Its realy sad wen couples find out some bad stuff about eachother after marriage..I'm not married but I'm gonna tell u this,hating him will do neither of u any good.I'm sure u love him that's why you're seeking help.u know ur husband well,u know what he likes,y not try somthing new in ur sex life,be hyper sponteneous,honey make him want u! And also pray for him,cos its not easy to get rid of an addiction and also ask God to give the strength to be patient....love overlooks all offences.
Abi o! Me I don't see what the problem is. You sef start masturbating and watching porn. He's not cheating or anythin, I honestly do not see your problem.
My sister your husband needs help-he is addicted even e loves u it might b very difficult 4 him to stop as there is a spirit/demon behind it-go and see a true pastor in a holy spirit filled church 4-e.g MFM- councelling nd deliverance, dont let the devil spoil ur marriage. #money must complete
Hmmmmm my dear take it to the lord in prayers. Not by power, not by might, but by d spirit of God.you can't force him to stop only prayer can do dat 4 u
Babie,y did'nt u find out while dating him?dis is a leson 2 all babes,pls always find ur guy's habit b4 going into marriage.Well,take him 2 MFM 4 deliverance.
You don't find out everything from just dating. People even dated for five years and d men were clean enof not to show u he smokes or any other thing. Prayer is the key here same time she should equally watch porn and probably play a sexy nurse in bed or a high school cheerleader for him. Well u never know maybe he likes hot and crazy sex and he's not getting it jiggy with u d way he sees it on porn sites.ur scary part of d whole thing is PRAY he doesn't fancy the ANAL pt of porn stars cos they might make it look enjoyable and the man would start looking for who to analyse with or maybe decide to practice on u oneday.*jus saying! May God direct u!
Amazing! This blog looks exactly like my old one! It's on a entirely different topic but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Outstanding choice of colors!
It's sad But ur hubby needs serious deliverance cos two spirits have taken over him:spirit of pornography and dat of masturbation. And on the physical side he needs counseling with professionals. All these is if he is willing to coperate. Just do ur best for him.its for better for worse.
Tell it to God in prayers. Late pastor Bimbo have written a lot abt dis ur problem. My advice to u is 2get copies of her books,read and make them ur companion.
Nawa o! For everything person go go down on bended knees.. Even for masturbation we go want mk God handle am.. I fear o! Nne deal wt it atleast he aint fucking 101 bitches
My dear na real wa!!girl go learn new tricks,watch d porn with him and try to make him do u instead of wanking off.help ur sex life and add some spice to it.then put it in prayers cos heaven helps those who help themselves.
Yes oooo! My dear is only God dat can make him change. Dont hate ur husband, luv him & pray dat God shld tak over. Believe me ur husband will change 4 d better
Taa kpuchie onu gi. Where u there when he gave her the money ni? How ppl are so quick to judge someone. Men can hide alotta things from u, u only find out as d year goes by as couples and with a wife whose eyes are to d ground. Even some wives that re married for over 10yrs wouldn't say all bout there man. Some there hubby indulge in bad stuffs outside d house and come bck home to play Pastor, how she go know unless she's either a witch or one who is a praying wife...
It seems ordinary put I bet u there is more to it. Puttin ur prob b4 man wil yield no positive result bt rather tender it 2 God. Soonest it wil b a tin of d past. There re forces nd shld nt b taken wiv a pinch of salt. God wil tk control.
Lol. I think that u should find a way of incorporating it into your sex life. Joke about it and get him to watch it with u. Then u can watch him jerk off. And try to enjoy it. Trust me conventional sex gets boring! Don't make him feel as though u have unnecessary sexual inhibitions. Just try enjoying it.
Best comment @spicey wife. This is where understanding comes in.......honestly I had to adapt n lyk it...we watch porn togeda, I even help him jerk off n he's even addicted to me helping him wit a BJ...heheheheee trust me dear if u hate him, he will run afta anoda woman dat will understand him...u aint hapy he masturbates instead of sleeping around.....
God is ur pillar in this situation.Try to involve ur hubby more in spiritual things.Even if U have to take the lead.Pray together nd study Gods word together.God will definitely intervene.
Lack of good enough sex drove him to porn, give him that and move your sex life to above average and he will cling to you under the sheets as from now.
I like dis,everyone is talking about asking God for help and all dat.am not saying dat God won't help,but remember heaven helps those who help themselves.help ur marriage by giving him mind blowing sex!!am sure he would then prefer it to porn.cos it didn,t start now,he got used to porn and masturbation cos he wasn,t getting enough sex or sometin.remember sex is a tin of d mind.its gonna take some time for him to change cos it,s become a habit for him.if u have to learn new tricks,pls do!!then put ur sex life in prays too.goodluck
Yes oooo! Sit down and pray, solution will come! Like someone I know, is looking for job for the past 5 years, he sat down at home and is praying up till today, God will definitely give him a job abi? Say amen ooooo
Sure my dear I fully agree wit anonymous I beta say u talk 2 God abt it cos God only is d frd we can rely on.& also try ur best 2 buy all dos shuts & sexy cloth wear dem around d house as well cos men get attracted 2 wat dey see
Its not about increasing and trying to hard on your part to make sex life better...its clearly stated... Its a habit, and def he had been doing it before he married you,You just didn't know..,Women should really know who they are settling for, do ur own CIA tins b4 settling, recently, one Fab dude, all looking perfect, was on me, so i was supposed to use his phone to check a site,mine was slow, Lo and behold, so many tabs of Porn sites open, Gosh, i stared @ him in disbelief, guess what, he lied, said his friend used his phone,but really,even if his friend was the one that opend d tabs, what sort of friends does he keep then...lol, story,.. Anyway, you need to let him know ur plight, talk to his mother, any Icon you know he would listen to, or his pastor, let him know the harm it would cause him as a person...#sips ribena..Hope and Pray.
Na old story naa.most men get it fed up when their wives begining to found wanting in satisfying them sexually. Its either the man faults or his wife's negative contributions to their married life.
I am kinda in that same situation but I think mine is a little better. It can be annoying sometimes but I don't think scolding him will make it better if not he will hide it from you. Let's face it men are so in to porn it takes the grace of God for them to stop.
People think porn n masturbation is jst a physical tng and dt if u put ur mind 2 it u can stop..truth is its actually very spiritual,u can't stop without the help of God..Talk 2ur husband about how this makes u feel and hw its affecting ur marriage...pray about it and I wld advise that he memorizes 2nd cor:10;5..don't give up on ur husband..make a conscious effort 2 help ur sex life too..Gudluck
It's pretty heavy to say u r developing hatred...but be that as it may, I suggest u try counselling as early as possible to nip ur "hatred" in d bud. Otherwise try fulfilling his sexual needs more and trust me his meandering will cease...I think he is only filling in where u have failed to fill and it's better than outright sex with another person. Takia.
Pray,Seek advice from your mum/mother-in-law, and on your own since he thinks he's disturbing you asking for sex, just be there to give it to him but use Condom oo, so you don't end up becoming preggy, please make sure your baby doesn't end up knowing this about her dad, might end up terribly, and also confront your hubby with what your child will think of him once he's/shes old enough to understand such and naija children no dey waste time for that kyn tin
Don't say that referrin to d above comment. Some men find it easier to last longer on bed by masturbatin and watchn porn could boost his sex ego. It is not an evil act.
lolz your husband needs help.... look sexy for him and give him the best sex of his life I believe there are things he wants to do during sex that he thinks you won't like, make him trust you also make him feel you are down for anything that's if truly you are lol... After a good sex with your partner I mean really good sex both of you shouldn't be hungry for sex for another two weeks. The best cure to stop watching porn is Good Sex, excellent sex.
"Habits ar easily formd but dificult 2 stop" there is always a spirit behind bein adicted 2 a bad behaviour. Humbly nd wit wisdom kp talkin 2 him nd bak it up wit praya, d Lord wil touch him. Show him love d more nd dnt let dis enemy scater ur mariage.
I think i know this couple, or at least a guy who fits the bill. This man is so addicted to masturbation he does it even at a dinner table. He confesses to masturbating minimum 15 times a day. I don't think there's hope for his wife because he is Farr too deep in it. Just manage, at least he's not cheating
Tell it to God and give him an ultimatum. My husband was doing the same crap and i told him to choose me or the women on his laptop. Next, i then took him to see our Pastor for counselling. He can't stop on his own unless you help him. Let him know that he'll lose you if he doesn't stop and then GET HIM HELP! God would grant you the wisdom
I do not see any wrong with your man watching porn. Your baby is still very young. When you baby is at sleep you can watch porn with your man it makes couples horny, wet, ready for good sexy. it sexy. I do that with my man almost very night. Because sometime too tired to have sexy, but want to cum to be very relax before go to bed. We watch porn and just play with yourself he does masturbation while I play with a toy. and it makes me come fast and will both love it and it very sexy to us. So for me I do not see anything wrong with that.
Abeg leave him alone. What is your own sef. At least u get sex once a week nah. Don't be selfish. It is a hobby. Just like u girls like talking like parrots & gossiping.
Let him be gal. Give your hussy some free space. Why get so pissed? My hussy loves to watch porn especially if am not in town or I refuse him sex. U should be glad its just porn and masturbation not with other ladies.
Maybe you should involve a close family member of his, or a respected church member while seriously praying about it, cos its a bad spirit. God help you.
Maybe u don't satisfy him enough, study him, You can do it. Give head and satisfy him. I'm telling u, he will love making love with you......My Bf used to do same thing but now he can't stand seeing me naked sef
Masturbation is cool if you have a reason for doing it. I wont masturbate with my wife around, never. However in the last two years I have been away from my wife (not separation) She is currently Canada but I have relocated back to naija for better future for the family. The only way i have been able to keep my sexual urges under check is thru masturbation (yes I sad it!!). I call my wife or she calls and we both masturbate at the different ends of the phone. With that I have had a normal life and without cheating on my wife. Call it crazy but it is good for me because I have never worn condom since I got married because I never really liked it and I don't want to risk STDs in Lagos where I am (not to talk about cheating). So masturbation helps to calm my sexual urge till i see my wife (which has been every three - to four months in the last two years)
I can imagine wat u r going thru. My boss at work watches porn all day n also masturbates in d office..... Its so disgusting especially wen he tries to touch me or hold my hands.... Am not related to him but am extremely disgusted and I just pity his wife!!!
Don't hate your husband but try n help him. He is already a slave to masturbation/pornography,don't give up d fight,u need to analyse wat led him to it and make him confide in someone whom he trust can help him and from time to time check on his progress and above all keep praying for him.
You need counselling and prayers. Be adventurous in ur conversations with him and find out what really turns him on. Communication is key in any relationship. Want to wish my brother and business partner Emeka a happy birthday. Mine is 19th wc is just 3 days from now. Its all good. IAI
I genuinely don't get why it's affecting you, some people are experiencing serious problems and enduring and you are complaining because your husband likes porn hiss. If you like hate your husband becuse of It now. My personal opinion is for you to try and incorporate the porn into your sex life, every man has a fetish and as long as it's not some sick thing, your duty as a woman is to try and fulfil him sexually.
Nigerians only solution for everything is prayer! Yes my dear, sit down at home and watch your husband destroy himself with porn addiction, then just pray, the solution will come you hear? Instead of getting out to search for proper medical treatment for your husband's addiction, because this one is harder to do, chose the easier one. No wonder Nigeria is the mess it is today.
my dear your husband has had this behaviour before marrigage ohh,and all you have to do is pray because this acts are demonic and please consider your baby,involve him in church activities.since your sex life is below average hmmmm,hope his nt having pleasure in that more than you, please pray
Pls instead of confronting him or hating him,start praying for him.one thing u shld know it is nt just a habit bt an evil spirit conrolling him.So pray for him.d heart of kings is in God's hands!
Hating your husband wont make things any better. It's a habit he developed over time and with some psychospiritual counselling, he will stop it. But I must warn you, it wont happen over night.
GIVE A MAN A FISH AND YOU FEED HIM FOR A DAY. TEACH A MAN TO FISH AND YOU FEED HIM FOR A LIFETIME. GIVE A MAN RELIGION AND HE WILL DIE PRAYING FOR A FISH!!!!!! This is for all of you posting silly comments suggesting that the woman should pray for her husband as the best solution! Mtchewwww
To every problem there is a solution.God is on your side n he's ready to solve the problenm so long u seek his help.My own porn act started when I met this guy who was into phone sex wit me.I didn't like it initially bur later I got inquisitive as to wat gives him such high drive for sex I decided on my own to go to porn site mayb dts where he's gettin his skills frm bur when I started usin d porn site I cldnt stop again.Somethin gave me courage dt my eyes r not created for porn neither my mind.I kept sayin it even though I was still watchin bur I trusted dt God wants to help me till now I ve bein able to celebrate a month of porn free which I cldnt do bfore .I give God d praise
He is registered sef. Hmmmm. Serious matter. Sha, telling him to stop isn't working maybe u shld try another method. Getting to explain dat his reason for dis porn addiction isn't working, after all u said ur sex life is below average. Maybe u can challenge him, if he can do better with u in bed without it, then maybe u can work out how much of porn/masturbation u can tolerate. And maybe u shld incorporate masturbation (mutual masturbation) into ur sex life. Maybe dat might work for him.
NIGERIANS and PRAYERS! Why does ever issue or problem have to always lead to prayer? There are lots of peeps out there that don't even pray or go to church but yet they get to handle life and treat it more better than those who go down on their knees every now and then. Be wise and handle your husband well. Do you even turn him on? Just saying! First timer on dis blog :)
There are several fundamental causes of pornography, I suggest you discuss these with your husband and seek for solution together. He is obviously addicted and needs external help.
Let's be realistic... You probably didn't know about this addiction before you married because during courtship women tend to be all out there for their man, then after marriage and the kids start popping we gradually loose touch with that "single girl" vibe. He has enough time on his hands thats why he would want to watch porn and masturbate. You should perk up your sex life. Make sure your baby has been put to bed before he gets home from work then engage him with good food, sensible conversation and good sex. Buy sex toys if you have to. And if you have enough time on your hands, you can join him in watching porn. Even though it might irk you a bit, its a way to know the type of things that interest him sexually. Stop being the woman who always want to be on her back to have sex. Its gets boring I tell you. After all is said and done, do your best and leave the rest to God. (Been married 9years and had the same problem so I know) :)
Hating ur husband is not d solution,don't have any grudge in ur heart,bible says two shall be beter than one,stand in d gap for him in prayers and wen u pray according to he's will he wil answers you.
You don't need prayer, deliverance nor conselling. Give him sex, enough sex, hot sex and he will forget masturbation. Why does he think asking for sex is disturbance to you? Because you make sex look like hard labour. Wake up girl, its your call.
Have a heart to heart discussion with your husband. Respectively tell him how his behavior makes you feel.Find out his reasons for his attitude and proffer solution together with him lovingly. perhaps you may want to make yourself more attractively - appearance matters. he is your only man, so always dress sensuously to satisfy his quest for nudity. make him realize that you are the only option he has for his sexual gratification. be very prayerful always because marriage is of divine origin and it requires constant divine direction for it's success. be kind and patient with your husband. cheers
Well my ex husband was just like yours; watching porno and masturbating. We talked about it and sincerely I tried to help, but I just couldn't take it. It made me hate him and I was so disgusted Imagine catching him in the act. It even contributed to his poor performance in bed. He hardly had an erection without talking dirty and when he had erections, he couldnt come. Once we went one year and he never came making love to me. I couldn't get pregnant. He refused to go see a doctor here or abroad. He later blamed me that it was because I couldn't do those nasty things that would turn him on that is y he watched porno, masturbated and couldn't ejaculate Even tthough I tried. Well I told him if he had been open about what he liked in bed before we got married, I wouldn't have married a perv like him. Please if you can help him sit down, discuss with him on how to make sex together better than what he is doing and do try it with him but if you feel uncomfortable doing it with him, believe me you can never feel loved or love him knowing what he does.
Naija & prayers though, how about action for a change. At least he's nt slpn out, thus can't infect u wt STDs frm strange women. If he says he doesn't wnt to disturb u, its probably cos u give him an impression sex is lyk house chore for u. When he has to be d one always seekn d sex, dn he feels lyk he's disturbn u. Instead treat sex lyk food, serve him both when he asks & doesn't. Be spontaneous. Watch d porn wt him, & have sex after to replace d masturbatn, that way u can stop d masturbatn & influence wat he watches cos he feels u are interested. Do all these, when u drain him, doubt he'll hv d semen to masturbate. Read some Pst T.D Jakes books on marriage affairs, very practical, not some "keep praying" advice.. Sign out
Its all your fort my Dear!..after u must av finished sex-starving him, u're here seekin for help....it clearly shows how he's nt having u as he ought to...there's no how he will buy BONA's Vaseline (lol) if yours ws handy...Best of luck!
The way pple r getin addicted to stuf lik dis is really getin on a daily increase. Pray my sister, God will help u. Also, try n give it (sex) to him anytim he wants it
This is exactly my experience with my husband and i feel the same the way as you. I am starting to hate him as well. His addiction is so bad that that he doesn't even desire me anymore. He will rather wank than ask me for sex. Infact since this year, he hasn't ask me for sex except i ask for it.
Pray, kneel down and ask God to help u. Do counselling and I think trying to be more adventrous in bed that could also help. Make it fun for both of u cuz it has to be fun for u as well. But pray with faith cuz there is nothing in dis world God cannot do when u have faith
All these pastors and pastoresses talking about prayer like say una be saint. Mcheew! Prayer aint gonna do squat for you. Heaven helps those who help themselves. Abeg, have a heart-to heart talk about it, ask him what it is that is lacking in your bed. You can watch it with him for tips to improve your sex life. Girl, you gotta be a biatch in bed for him, unless you wan make him marry one of the porn stars!!
Dear,my advice 4 u his jst 2 call on God,nd u shuld no he cnt jst leave it in jst 1 day,jst little by little.and alwz show him luv in any way u cn.....I pray u find happiness soon...
Wow! Ehm... If its just porn, yh bt not masturbation! So when ure there, he'd pref his hand-made orgasm over ur lovely made boobs and ass and body? Weird! Dear, pray, then try looking sexy, watch some, learn to blow him well, and be the boss well too in bed I don't see y he won't nw be all over u! Bt don't complain next tht he's a sex freak... Hehe! ~D great anonymous!
Typical 9jas.u guys just in2 sidin d complainant witout investigatn properly.if d woman is d type dat restrict sex only once in 3months & she stil complains its too much,u guys hv nt seen som women dat r called wife.u wil cry &hate urself
How long will U pray??? Now take action! There are evil Spirits behind Porn and Masturbation...
Visit the Synagogue Church Of All Nations for the new Anointing Water or look for someone who might have it. Spray in on him in Faith when he's sleeping, in his water, food, clothes, etc without his knowledge.
You cld also get Emmanuel Tv Decoder and install... keep watching it the Demons hovering around will flee because DISTANCE IS NOT A BARRIER! It has worked for so many pple l know. It wld work for yur husband!!!!
My dear sister hating him won't solve the issue, before I married my husband he told me he had a serious problem with masturbation to the extent he can't sleep without even masturbating. You both have to pray about it together And as you said your sex life is average, most guys that masturbate don't really understand how to pleasure a woman. Most of them masturbate because they have never had a sexual experience as they might be too shy to approach a woman. In the beginning of my marriage I didn't enjoy sex at all cause I expected a lot based on what I have read and I complained to my husband hence he watches less porn and masturbate and ensures we both thoroughly enjoy sex
Honestly, watch it with as a first step. The next step if he is not uneasy that you are watching it with him after awhile, bring your baby along to watch. If he complains, tell him nicely that as parents you just want your baby to be initiated into the family tradition. It can force him to stop or not. Am not sure it will work but its worth trying. Then pray that God gives u wisdom but hating is not d solution. He needs help so see urself as a solution provider now. Old habits doesn't just go it needs to be replaced with sth else. We all av one form of addiction or d oda. Show some love on his path to recoVery n make urself available for sex at all times. Am a married woman n 99percent of d time I say yes to my husband. Good luck
I strongly believe that masturbation and pornography were habits he cultivated in his youth when the hormones set in. To others out there get married early as old habits die hard. Sis, be more sexually active and pray that he replaces those bad habits by substututing porn for u...
Is it dat u guys neva dated n studied urslfs b4 gettin married or wot.didn't u notice dis b4 u got married 2 him?just asking.cos its funny u neva knew de man ur married 2 loved porn.pretty diana
Didn't you read the complaint?? She discovered this father she got married. It is not her fault...bull crap advice from people maybe you're neglecting him, maybe your not having enough sex...please the man has a serious demonic hold. Speak to his family and yours.bring it to the open. give him an ultimatum to seek proper help. You don't deserve it. Pray for him but don't be involved in his sodomic lifestyle
Pray to God abt it,continue to talk to him, n let him he have u.another thing u can do is to invite frnds n fmly over to stay wit u guys am so sure he won't want to embarrass himself in front of his fmly members.88
my deår, prayer nd counsélìng is d sölution 2 d problèm bt mk sure u re nt d course.Dnt deny him of sex whn he wntz it nd also learn 2 leiure him 2 bêd alwayz 2 make him avoid thoz rubbish act.
My dear my advice to u is to watch to porn with ur husband sso after the porn u will fuck u. And also pray to god.him watching porn is just an habbit. And also make some porn movies urself in other to help but keep it away from kids.
Prayer is d only thing dat can help u out of dis situation. I face d same thing too but thank God my hubby has reduced his porn watching and masturbation and I knw by Gods grace he wud totally stop it. As for pple dat say she is not giving him enuf sex dats not true dere is a spirit behind dat thing.
Pornography and masturbation are addictions that has got nothing to do with the wife. He's most definitely been this way before he married you dear. He needs deliverance, i'll recommend mfm. God help you.
Pornography and/or masturbation is something a lot of young men are struggling with. And in your husband's case, it's beginning to come between the two of you. You have to support him to kick this dangerous habit. Seek help together.
Two sides to a story as usual Nigerians refuse to solve problems instead they call to God...take responsibility snd find out why...it might be something simple to resolve and as usual addiction is one very over used word.....Dawghouse
My dear...yeah prayers is your next resort but this is exactly the kind of result you get when women unknowingly push their husbands to extremes. Most Nigerian women, once they put to bed, the man becomes a cupboard issue. Yes it is agreed that the new baby deserves all the attention but the man is also human and has needs. I know say una go attack me but ladies, men also have needs especially when they are married. Our dear LIB reader is lucky she noticed this stage because it would have been worse if he had gone into infidelity a.k.a seeking help outside. My dear get to talk with your man as I believe this is a result of involuntary negligence on your part. I HAF TALK MA OWN JOOR..Oya make una attack me like piranha fish but I've said the truth. GBAM
You said its easier for him to masturbate,than to make love to you,there's a reason why that is happening,either you don't satisfy him in bed,or you give him a tough time trying to make love to you,you are the solution to your problem.I quite agree that masturbation makes him last long in bed,why don't you make love to him more often,that he wouldn't even have the strenght to play with himself.
Wel my dear prayer is d only solution 2 it.nofin is 2 hard 4 Him dt is y he is called a miraculous God,u wil witness His miracle. But try n love him(ur husband) more k......is wel
The Only Solution's that you make ur dressing appearance sexy while always with him...and find out what Get's him 2 d peak, wld prolly suggest a blowjob for him...make ur sexual intercourse with him so exciting and Bet me he'll stop masturbating...Thank me Lera
I am guessing you dont have enough sex. Especially as you have a baby at hand. if you don't know, men think about sex at least once every hour. Be glad he is masturbating at home. The alternative is to bang multiple babes outside. Talk to him to reduce it, but this is actually working for your advantage. when you are absent. he wont cheat, he will masturbate.
Don't be naive here, it's obvious you don't give him enough sex(below average sex life in a 2yrs marriage). Haba!!!! it's still the honeymoon stage, you couple should still be tearing each other's clothes apart and be sexing urselves all over the house at this stage of ur marriage. Men are attracted by what they see and love their women to be a lady in the street but a whore behind close doors.. Do this (be his whore behind closed door, give, over feed him wit sex).. By the tym you are done wit him, he will be too tired to even watch porn talkless of masturbating.. Then, you can now add prayer to it. God helps those who help themselves. Chikena..
My advice is pray with n for him that's handling the spirual aspect then in the physical aspect upgrade urself and blow his brains out with good sex,change from beloe average to excellent.Am sure u give him all sorts of excuses and that's why he doesn't want to bother you,and I knw for u,u aint in the mood yet cos of the pregnancy n then ur baby,u just ve to try and stop hating cos hate is a very destructive emotion to feel for another human let alone ur husband.Goodluck and God is ur strength.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with ur husband. U will be surprised at the number of men that are in d same situation worldwide. Its just dat most people wouldnt talk about it openly, hence u feel u are alone.
This is an addiction that will most likely die off after a while. By scolding and hating him, u only compound d situation by making him feel depressed. Ur best action will be to get closer to him and even sit by him whenever he indulges himself. By doing this, he gradually begins to lose interest in this habit. He's simply lonely and bored.
Nigerians are simply intellectually lazy that's why whenever they have issues, they attribute it to demons and start seeking pastor. Just take a look at 80% of the comments here.. gosh!
Nigeria Nigerian Nigerians, even simple problem a woman or a normal wife who know the best solution for this common problem are saying put him in PRAYERS,,or can prayers aswell help him to perform good on bed?madam na wen ur husband go out nd meet all those hot girls,u go hate him fine
Tell him to get professional help, or stage a family intervention. You deal with a pornography addiction the same way you would deal with a drugs, alcohol, or gambling addiction. And with all addiction this is not something you keep to yourself in secret, his parents need to know about it.
The biggest challenge you may face is to prove that it is truly an addiction and not just simply an entertainment past time. So depending on your financial circumstances you may want to invest in a computer program that logs searches, or keep a written log of all the times you know he was watching porn online. Yes, it will affect your sex life because his excessive self pleasuring will caused a learned behavior and he will not be able to relate sexually to another person, this is the problem with men who masturbate excessively. Plus with pornographic addiction it may escalate to instances where he will start being stimulated by more bizarre sexual acts as the normal variety may get boring after a while.
Act and act fast. Hating him is the worse thing right now, because people feed off telepathic energy and your hate for him will only push him further into that world and cause a greater schism between you too.
Porn movies are for adults and that alone justify ur husband doing it,but addiction?madam what role did you play to make him continue cos nobi today the man start am... All these naa reason why its advisable to spend time and know urselves before marriage.things are out of control in todays marriages... Retrace ur steps maybe you were not whaat you made him believe you are come to think of it what will you be doing while he watch and wank shit? I feel this story is half true but then again you gotta do what's right and leave the rest to most high
My dear,my only advice is;tell it 2 God on bended knees
ReplyDeleteExactly ♍Ɣ dear. Talk to God about it. Tell GOD to make pornography disgusting to ur husband. And watch how GOD works.
DeleteGod............. That's the only one that can help you out. It is well.
DeleteFIBROID FLUSHER
My dear all I can say is goodmorning
DeletePorn addiction is like any other form of addiction! Therefore, it requires medical TREATMENT including a psychologist. I don't know if this is possible in Nigeria, because the only treatment Nigerians know about is prayer *rolls eyes*
DeleteI masturbate everyday. Sometimes three times a day. I watch porn all day and I believe this helps in building a healthy sex life. Women I get down with keep coming for more.
DeleteKudos to this God among men for continuing the fapping tradition, even after marriage.
Fapping helps relieve stress.
Doggy.
I'd never encourage divorce but this? Pornography & Masturbation?? That's just d height. *Tueh*
Delete--Teeteelahyo--
Ur husband is prolly gay & u av no idea
Deletei tink itz beta u kipin tokin 2hm nd kip an eye on hm b4 he goes out 4anoda lady
ReplyDeleteNa to start praying. A little porn is healthy, but addiction, mbanu. Then, who says you can't be a porn star for your husband.
ReplyDeleteNo porn is good is a very very very bad thing to do.
DeleteA litle porn = hellfire. Please stop deceiving people
DeleteMy dear it's tiring to be a porn star for ur partner. My friend left her boyfriend cos he expected her to dress up, dance and do kinky stuff before they have sex, all the time. Once in a while is ok, but it's tiring when u have to put up a show everytime u want to have sex
DeleteTalk to him about it ..go for cancelling...just like alcohol and drugs, porn is a serious and dangerous addiction...........it is also well known that most men who are addicted to porn are usually weak in bed...because they dont know any basic and think what the fakery they watch is the real thing..i dont like it ...but if you want to watch occasionally i can bear it but when you addicted ...then there is a problem.....your husband has a problem he is in denial of ...talk to him and seek counselling and prayers...
ReplyDeleteLol please what is go for canceling
DeleteCancel!!
DeleteMy dear its counselling ...make una no kill me during this my rest day abeg ..no English wey I Neva see for this blog
DeleteNa really cancelling
DeleteWho told u dat men dat watch porn are weak in bed. U must be a joker. Y do u generalize like dat? Pls speak for urself. We can understand if ur sex life is frustrating.
Deletejst keep puting him in ur prayers ok!
ReplyDeleteNa to start praying. A little porn is healthy, but addiction, mbanu. Then, who says you can't be a porn star for your husband.
ReplyDeleteTake him to prophet TB joshua with God all things are possible
ReplyDeleteISsokay
DeleteMy dear
ReplyDeleteI feel ur pain. I'm in the exact same situation. I'm looking unto God to intervene.
Pray about it and start counselling as a couple. Habits like pornography and masturbation are hard to break, but not impossible.Make a concious effort to keep loving him and be his friend.
ReplyDeleteJoin him dear all is love, ha ha ha ha
ReplyDeleteTry n make him feel wanted mayb u neglect him n dnt give him enough of ur time dats y he derives pleasure in watching porn movies
ReplyDeleteWord.
DeleteMy dear prayer is d only key.it may be spiritual. So u need 2 tackle it spiritual. Fighting him wil nt solve anything.
ReplyDeletePray for him, he needs deliverance
ReplyDeleteBe prayerful,is well
ReplyDeleteHmnnnnnn...kind of strange. There are only two possible answers here:
ReplyDelete1.You're not giving your hubby enough 'action'.
2. He is prolly gay..and you don't even know it.
In other news, visit loldey.com....Nigeria's coolest funny image sharing community.
Mr ugo dosh if u don't knw wat to say shut up.u must not comment.gay ko gay ni mtchewwww.
DeleteOde, after the stupid statements you just made, we should go to your website? Why? So we can get more stupidity from you?
DeleteThat's is your own side of the story, but yet to hear his own side of it, cus i don't see why your there and his is masturbating, is either ur the type that don't like sex or your the type that gives him reason like crazy, i feel ur still not telling us every thing, infact you should thank Your God he don't sleep out side. My dear sit up and fix things up, now is still early
ReplyDeleteExactly...... Most girls are like tat.... B4 I sleep wit my g.frnd, I hav to preach a whole book of love... Its annoyin most times...
DeleteDino
The truth is this.......Most guys engage in porn and masturbation sometimes even though they keep it a secret(Guys!....Be Sincere;u feel guilty inside).....the only difference here is that ur hubby has come out openly to u......the way to go about it is simple......watch the porn with him and screw the living day light out of him during and after the flicks.He will forcefully masturbate less and u will get better in bed......Both of u are happy.....Its that easy.
DeleteBest comment and reply. Gbam
DeleteThat is so untrue. I have dated someone who was addicted to masturbation. It didn't matter the frequency and intensity of our sex life, he still had reasons to masturbate. I had to take off when I learned dats why he had lost some of his previous relationship, in his word, "just because of a small issue like dat, they left". The "dat" is continuous masturbation. Having intense and frequent sex all d time will not stop a guy who is addicted to masturbation; same goes for ponography.
DeleteExactly tel God abt it n continue telln him how u feel abt it coz its a habit dt can only be stopped wit prayer
ReplyDeleteJust fast and pray for him,he will definately change.
ReplyDeleteIts realy sad wen couples find out some bad stuff about eachother after marriage..I'm not married but I'm gonna tell u this,hating him will do neither of u any good.I'm sure u love him that's why you're seeking help.u know ur husband well,u know what he likes,y not try somthing new in ur sex life,be hyper sponteneous,honey make him want u! And also pray for him,cos its not easy to get rid of an addiction and also ask God to give the strength to be patient....love overlooks all offences.
ReplyDeleteBuy him more vaseline.......
ReplyDeleteAbi o! Me I don't see what the problem is. You sef start masturbating and watching porn. He's not cheating or anythin, I honestly do not see your problem.
DeleteLol,funny but wicked!!
DeleteMy sister your husband needs help-he is addicted even e loves u it might b very difficult 4 him to stop as there is a spirit/demon behind it-go and see a true pastor in a holy spirit filled church 4-e.g MFM- councelling nd deliverance, dont let the devil spoil ur marriage. #money must complete
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm my dear take it to the lord in prayers. Not by power, not by might, but by d spirit of God.you can't force him to stop only prayer can do dat 4 u
ReplyDeleteKip prayin 4 him, u can't afford 2 opt out of ur marriage.
ReplyDeleteMz ebonite
Babie,y did'nt u find out while dating him?dis is a leson 2 all babes,pls always find ur guy's habit b4 going into marriage.Well,take him 2 MFM 4 deliverance.
ReplyDeleteYou don't find out everything from just dating. People even dated for five years and d men were clean enof not to show u he smokes or any other thing. Prayer is the key here same time she should equally watch porn and probably play a sexy nurse in bed or a high school cheerleader for him. Well u never know maybe he likes hot and crazy sex and he's not getting it jiggy with u d way he sees it on porn sites.ur scary part of d whole thing is PRAY he doesn't fancy the ANAL pt of porn stars cos they might make it look enjoyable and the man would start looking for who to analyse with or maybe decide to practice on u oneday.*jus saying! May God direct u!
DeleteU need to take your husband to see your pastor for prayer and counseling. He really needs deliverance seriously. All the best.
ReplyDeleteOga madam I wl afvise u to watch porn wit him always...thts just it.u no even happy say e no dey do am with anoda women outside.Mumu house wife.Kola
ReplyDelete#GBAM. Watch porn with him or on your own. It. Is. Not. A. Biggie.
DeleteGbam kola....dats d easiest way out....quarellin will send him outside....I rather stay wit a mastu_porno man than a cheater...hehehehehehee
DeleteAmazing! This blog looks exactly like my old one! It's on a entirely different topic but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Outstanding choice of colors!
ReplyDeleteFeel free to surf to my page :: chat on webcams
It's sad
ReplyDeleteBut ur hubby needs serious deliverance cos two spirits have taken over him:spirit of pornography and dat of masturbation.
And on the physical side he needs counseling with professionals.
All these is if he is willing to coperate.
Just do ur best for him.its for better for worse.
Tell it to God in prayers. Late pastor Bimbo have written a lot abt dis ur problem. My advice to u is 2get copies of her books,read and make them ur companion.
ReplyDeleteLinda please investigate this story from @JoyGrace7 and @LIZAMALU1 concerning Femi fani kayode and his mistresses on Twitter... you dey slack o.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very seriuos matter,the only way to solve problem is preventing him from masturbating,any time you see him doing it caution him.
ReplyDeleteNawa o! For everything person go go down on bended knees.. Even for masturbation we go want mk God handle am.. I fear o! Nne deal wt it atleast he aint fucking 101 bitches
ReplyDeleteMy tot exactly. Everytin em go say go down on bended knees. Dis God done suffer for una hand.
DeleteMy dear na real wa!!girl go learn new tricks,watch d porn with him and try to make him do u instead of wanking off.help ur sex life and add some spice to it.then put it in prayers cos heaven helps those who help themselves.
DeleteNawa oh
ReplyDeleteI also suggest u tell it to God but he must also be willing to lay it down before God so d spirit can be one.
ReplyDeleteYes oooo! My dear is only God dat can make him change. Dont hate ur husband, luv him & pray dat God shld tak over. Believe me ur husband will change 4 d better
ReplyDeleteIf not in Nigeria, seek therapy. If in Nigeria...sorry.
ReplyDeleteU hav 2 be prayerful cos he needs deliverance!
ReplyDeleteThe solution lies only in Christ
ReplyDeleteShould have known all this when he was courting you,silly thing...guess the doos he spent blinded ur eyes then
ReplyDeleteTaa kpuchie onu gi. Where u there when he gave her the money ni? How ppl are so quick to judge someone. Men can hide alotta things from u, u only find out as d year goes by as couples and with a wife whose eyes are to d ground. Even some wives that re married for over 10yrs wouldn't say all bout there man. Some there hubby indulge in bad stuffs outside d house and come bck home to play Pastor, how she go know unless she's either a witch or one who is a praying wife...
DeleteNo offence lady but ur hubby is ill. He needs therapy. I don't mean it as an insult
ReplyDeleteEncourage him to see a counsellor
ReplyDeleteIt seems ordinary put I bet u there is more to it. Puttin ur prob b4 man wil yield no positive result bt rather tender it 2 God. Soonest it wil b a tin of d past. There re forces nd shld nt b taken wiv a pinch of salt. God wil tk control.
ReplyDeletena xo...na God go du am
ReplyDeleteLol. I think that u should find a way of incorporating it into your sex life. Joke about it and get him to watch it with u. Then u can watch him jerk off. And try to enjoy it. Trust me conventional sex gets boring! Don't make him feel as though u have unnecessary sexual inhibitions. Just try enjoying it.
ReplyDeleteBest comment @spicey wife. This is where understanding comes in.......honestly I had to adapt n lyk it...we watch porn togeda, I even help him jerk off n he's even addicted to me helping him wit a BJ...heheheheee trust me dear if u hate him, he will run afta anoda woman dat will understand him...u aint hapy he masturbates instead of sleeping around.....
DeleteGod is ur pillar in this situation.Try to involve ur hubby more in spiritual things.Even if U have to take the lead.Pray together nd study Gods word together.God will definitely intervene.
ReplyDeleteLack of good enough sex drove him to porn, give him that and move your sex life to above average and he will cling to you under the sheets as from now.
ReplyDeleteOh shatap..
DeleteI like dis,everyone is talking about asking God for help and all dat.am not saying dat God won't help,but remember heaven helps those who help themselves.help ur marriage by giving him mind blowing sex!!am sure he would then prefer it to porn.cos it didn,t start now,he got used to porn and masturbation cos he wasn,t getting enough sex or sometin.remember sex is a tin of d mind.its gonna take some time for him to change cos it,s become a habit for him.if u have to learn new tricks,pls do!!then put ur sex life in prays too.goodluck
DeleteTake it to the Lord in Prayer.
ReplyDeleteMy dear! Don't hate ur hubby! Jst take it to God in prayer, there is nothing he can't do.
ReplyDeleteYes oooo! Sit down and pray, solution will come! Like someone I know, is looking for job for the past 5 years, he sat down at home and is praying up till today, God will definitely give him a job abi? Say amen ooooo
DeleteSure my dear I fully agree wit anonymous I beta say u talk 2 God abt it cos God only is d frd we can rely on.& also try ur best 2 buy all dos shuts & sexy cloth wear dem around d house as well cos men get attracted 2 wat dey see
ReplyDeleteIts not about increasing and trying to hard on your part to make sex life better...its clearly stated... Its a habit, and def he had been doing it before he married you,You just didn't know..,Women should really know who they are settling for, do ur own CIA tins b4 settling, recently, one Fab dude, all looking perfect, was on me, so i was supposed to use his phone to check a site,mine was slow, Lo and behold, so many tabs of Porn sites open, Gosh, i stared @ him in disbelief, guess what, he lied, said his friend used his phone,but really,even if his friend was the one that opend d tabs, what sort of friends does he keep then...lol, story,.. Anyway, you need to let him know ur plight, talk to his mother, any Icon you know he would listen to, or his pastor, let him know the harm it would cause him as a person...#sips ribena..Hope and Pray.
DeleteNa old story naa.most men get it fed up when their wives begining to found wanting in satisfying them sexually. Its either the man faults or his wife's negative contributions to their married life.
ReplyDeleteI am kinda in that same situation but I think mine is a little better. It can be annoying sometimes but I don't think scolding him will make it better if not he will hide it from you. Let's face it men are so in to porn it takes the grace of God for them to stop.
ReplyDeletePray Pray Pray!
ReplyDeletePeople think porn n masturbation is jst a physical tng and dt if u put ur mind 2 it u can stop..truth is its actually very spiritual,u can't stop without the help of God..Talk 2ur husband about how this makes u feel and hw its affecting ur marriage...pray about it and I wld advise that he memorizes 2nd cor:10;5..don't give up on ur husband..make a conscious effort 2 help ur sex life too..Gudluck
ReplyDeleteSend him to sex rehabilitation centre. If not , very soon he will stop getting intimate with u.
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty heavy to say u r developing hatred...but be that as it may, I suggest u try counselling as early as possible to nip ur "hatred" in d bud. Otherwise try fulfilling his sexual needs more and trust me his meandering will cease...I think he is only filling in where u have failed to fill and it's better than outright sex with another person. Takia.
ReplyDeletePray,Seek advice from your mum/mother-in-law, and on your own since he thinks he's disturbing you asking for sex, just be there to give it to him but use Condom oo, so you don't end up becoming preggy, please make sure your baby doesn't end up knowing this about her dad, might end up terribly, and also confront your hubby with what your child will think of him once he's/shes old enough to understand such and naija children no dey waste time for that kyn tin
ReplyDeleteSweetheart just tell it GOD he'll turn d situation around...
ReplyDeleteDan
Keep praying.
ReplyDeleteDon't say that referrin to d above comment. Some men find it easier to last longer on bed by masturbatin and watchn porn could boost his sex ego. It is not an evil act.
ReplyDeleteDats it,say it to God!
ReplyDeleteSweetheart just tell it GOD he'll turn d situation around...
ReplyDeleteDan
Maybe he doesn't find u attractive anymore, so I'll advise u appear more attractive and dnt always wait 4 him 2 ask u 4 sex.
ReplyDeletelolz your husband needs help.... look sexy for him and give him the best sex of his life I believe there are things he wants to do during sex that he thinks you won't like, make him trust you also make him feel you are down for anything that's if truly you are lol... After a good sex with your partner I mean really good sex both of you shouldn't be hungry for sex for another two weeks. The best cure to stop watching porn is Good Sex, excellent sex.
ReplyDeletego nd reg in a gay sites,look for lesbians nd masturbate in front of him he will b disgusted and he will stop
ReplyDeleteWell 1st pray, then this doesn't sound nigerian but your husband needs to seek help.
ReplyDelete"Habits ar easily formd but dificult 2 stop" there is always a spirit behind bein adicted 2 a bad behaviour. Humbly nd wit wisdom kp talkin 2 him nd bak it up wit praya, d Lord wil touch him. Show him love d more nd dnt let dis enemy scater ur mariage.
ReplyDeletePray my dear, God will help u....Funkky
ReplyDeleteI think i know this couple, or at least a guy who fits the bill. This man is so addicted to masturbation he does it even at a dinner table. He confesses to masturbating minimum 15 times a day. I don't think there's hope for his wife because he is Farr too deep in it. Just manage, at least he's not cheating
ReplyDeleteHe is already an addict, its just prayers dat can help or he should see a therapist.
ReplyDeleteTell it to God and give him an ultimatum. My husband was doing the same crap and i told him to choose me or the women on his laptop. Next, i then took him to see our Pastor for counselling. He can't stop on his own unless you help him. Let him know that he'll lose you if he doesn't stop and then GET HIM HELP! God would grant you the wisdom
ReplyDeleteJust allow him ... Is better than cheating on u with other women.. Linda no b so? Val
ReplyDeleteYou should be grateful that he's watching porn and not going after girls outside the marriage. There's nothing wrong in watching porn.
ReplyDeleteArggggh! masturbation isnt that easy to leave oo.... guess its in his blood already..... its only prayer that can heal him...
ReplyDeleteSharrp ur mouth there idiot bastard
ReplyDeletePray for him
ReplyDeleteLolz..my own advice! Buy some dildo and mastubate too..
ReplyDeleteI do not see any wrong with your man watching porn. Your baby is still very young. When you baby is at sleep you can watch porn with your man it makes couples horny, wet, ready for good sexy. it sexy. I do that with my man almost very night. Because sometime too tired to have sexy, but want to cum to be very relax before go to bed. We watch porn and just play with yourself he does masturbation while I play with a toy. and it makes me come fast and will both love it and it very sexy to us. So for me I do not see anything wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteCastrate him!
ReplyDeleteAbeg leave him alone. What is your own sef. At least u get sex once a week nah. Don't be selfish. It is a hobby. Just like u girls like talking like parrots & gossiping.
ReplyDeletepray and keep praying. it's time you gave him an ultimatum
ReplyDeleteThis life sha! Too many crazy things...my dear pray o! Go on ur knees n pray ur husband out,no be moi-moi o!
ReplyDeleteVee
Let him be gal. Give your hussy some free space. Why get so pissed? My hussy loves to watch porn especially if am not in town or I refuse him sex. U should be glad its just porn and masturbation not with other ladies.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should involve a close family member of his, or a respected church member while seriously praying about it, cos its a bad spirit. God help you.
ReplyDeleteMaybe u don't satisfy him enough, study him, You can do it. Give head and satisfy him. I'm telling u, he will love making love with you......My Bf used to do same thing but now he can't stand seeing me naked sef
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong in cyber sex! It's saves someone from the stress of heartache..
ReplyDeletei watch porn.. not ba.. join him.. you may learn a thing or two
ReplyDeleteOnly prayers and probably rehabs can make him stop....
ReplyDeleteMasturbation is cool if you have a reason for doing it. I wont masturbate with my wife around, never. However in the last two years I have been away from my wife (not separation) She is currently Canada but I have relocated back to naija for better future for the family. The only way i have been able to keep my sexual urges under check is thru masturbation (yes I sad it!!). I call my wife or she calls and we both masturbate at the different ends of the phone. With that I have had a normal life and without cheating on my wife. Call it crazy but it is good for me because I have never worn condom since I got married because I never really liked it and I don't want to risk STDs in Lagos where I am (not to talk about cheating). So masturbation helps to calm my sexual urge till i see my wife (which has been every three - to four months in the last two years)
ReplyDeleteI think he's having Compulsive Masturbation Disorder.. He need prayers
ReplyDeleteI can imagine wat u r going thru. My boss at work watches porn all day n also masturbates in d office..... Its so disgusting especially wen he tries to touch me or hold my hands.... Am not related to him but am extremely disgusted and I just pity his wife!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't hate your husband but try n help him. He is already a slave to masturbation/pornography,don't give up d fight,u need to analyse wat led him to it and make him confide in someone whom he trust can help him and from time to time check on his progress and above all keep praying for him.
ReplyDeleteYou need counselling and prayers. Be adventurous in ur conversations with him and find out what really turns him on. Communication is key in any relationship. Want to wish my brother and business partner Emeka a happy birthday. Mine is 19th wc is just 3 days from now. Its all good. IAI
ReplyDeleteI genuinely don't get why it's affecting you, some people are experiencing serious problems and enduring and you are complaining because your husband likes porn hiss. If you like hate your husband becuse of It now. My personal opinion is for you to try and incorporate the porn into your sex life, every man has a fetish and as long as it's not some sick thing, your duty as a woman is to try and fulfil him sexually.
ReplyDeleteTake it to god in prayer dear. He will do it.
ReplyDeleteGod is the ans my dear. he can do it all for u. my frd God is wot u need for now
ReplyDeleteNigerians only solution for everything is prayer! Yes my dear, sit down at home and watch your husband destroy himself with porn addiction, then just pray, the solution will come you hear? Instead of getting out to search for proper medical treatment for your husband's addiction, because this one is harder to do, chose the easier one. No wonder Nigeria is the mess it is today.
ReplyDeletemy dear your husband has had this behaviour before marrigage ohh,and all you have to do is pray because this acts are demonic and please consider your baby,involve him in church activities.since your sex life is below average hmmmm,hope his nt having pleasure in that more than you, please pray
ReplyDeletePls instead of confronting him or hating him,start praying for him.one thing u shld know it is nt just a habit bt an evil spirit conrolling him.So pray for him.d heart of kings is in God's hands!
ReplyDeletePlease listen to spiceywifey comment, most sensible. All you people, everything n.a. deliverance matter sha!
ReplyDeleteVery critical, try seducn/and adventures he might come back around
ReplyDeleteHating your husband wont make things any better. It's a habit he developed over time and with some psychospiritual counselling, he will stop it. But I must warn you, it wont happen over night.
ReplyDeleteGIVE A MAN A FISH AND YOU FEED HIM FOR A DAY. TEACH A MAN TO FISH AND YOU FEED HIM FOR A LIFETIME. GIVE A MAN RELIGION AND HE WILL DIE PRAYING FOR A FISH!!!!!! This is for all of you posting silly comments suggesting that the woman should pray for her husband as the best solution! Mtchewwww
ReplyDeleteTo every problem there is a solution.God is on your side n he's ready to solve the problenm so long u seek his help.My own porn act started when I met this guy who was into phone sex wit me.I didn't like it initially bur later I got inquisitive as to wat gives him such high drive for sex
ReplyDeleteI decided on my own to go to porn site mayb dts where he's gettin his skills frm bur when I started usin d porn site I cldnt stop again.Somethin gave me courage dt my eyes r not created for porn neither my mind.I kept sayin it even though I was still watchin bur I trusted dt God wants to help me till now I ve bein able to celebrate a month of porn free which I cldnt do bfore .I give God d praise
He is registered sef. Hmmmm. Serious matter. Sha, telling him to stop isn't working maybe u shld try another method. Getting to explain dat his reason for dis porn addiction isn't working, after all u said ur sex life is below average. Maybe u can challenge him, if he can do better with u in bed without it, then maybe u can work out how much of porn/masturbation u can tolerate. And maybe u shld incorporate masturbation (mutual masturbation) into ur sex life. Maybe dat might work for him.
ReplyDeleteNIGERIANS and PRAYERS! Why does ever issue or problem have to always lead to prayer? There are lots of peeps out there that don't even pray or go to church but yet they get to handle life and treat it more better than those who go down on their knees every now and then. Be wise and handle your husband well. Do you even turn him on? Just saying! First timer on dis blog :)
ReplyDeleteThere are several fundamental causes of pornography, I suggest you discuss these with your husband and seek for solution together. He is obviously addicted and needs external help.
ReplyDeletein this kind of situation only God can seve your husband, porn addicts dont give it up easily
ReplyDeleteLet's be realistic... You probably didn't know about this addiction before you married because during courtship women tend to be all out there for their man, then after marriage and the kids start popping we gradually loose touch with that "single girl" vibe. He has enough time on his hands thats why he would want to watch porn and masturbate. You should perk up your sex life. Make sure your baby has been put to bed before he gets home from work then engage him with good food, sensible conversation and good sex. Buy sex toys if you have to. And if you have enough time on your hands, you can join him in watching porn. Even though it might irk you a bit, its a way to know the type of things that interest him sexually. Stop being the woman who always want to be on her back to have sex. Its gets boring I tell you. After all is said and done, do your best and leave the rest to God.
ReplyDelete(Been married 9years and had the same problem so I know) :)
Hating ur husband is not d solution,don't have any grudge in ur heart,bible says two shall be beter than one,stand in d gap for him in prayers and wen u pray according to he's will he wil answers you.
ReplyDeleteIf it isn't the cause of your below average sex life then ignore him, just put him in prayers
ReplyDeleteYou don't need prayer, deliverance nor conselling. Give him sex, enough sex, hot sex and he will forget masturbation. Why does he think asking for sex is disturbance to you? Because you make sex look like hard labour. Wake up girl, its your call.
ReplyDeleteHave a heart to heart discussion with your husband. Respectively tell him how his behavior makes you feel.Find out his reasons for his attitude and proffer solution together with him lovingly. perhaps you may want to make yourself more attractively - appearance matters. he is your only man, so always dress sensuously to satisfy his quest for nudity. make him realize that you are the only option he has for his sexual gratification. be very prayerful always because marriage is of divine origin and it requires constant divine direction for it's success. be kind and patient with your husband. cheers
ReplyDeleteWell my ex husband was just like yours; watching porno and masturbating.
ReplyDeleteWe talked about it and sincerely I tried to help, but I just couldn't take it.
It made me hate him and I was so disgusted
Imagine catching him in the act.
It even contributed to his poor performance in bed. He hardly had an erection without talking dirty and when he had erections, he couldnt come.
Once we went one year and he never came making love to me. I couldn't get pregnant. He refused to go see a doctor here or abroad.
He later blamed me that it was because I couldn't do those nasty things that would turn him on that is y he watched porno, masturbated and couldn't ejaculate Even tthough I tried. Well I told him if he had been open about what he liked in bed before we got married, I wouldn't have married a perv like him.
Please if you can help him sit down, discuss with him on how to make sex together better than what he is doing and do try it with him but if you feel uncomfortable doing it with him, believe me you can never feel loved or love him knowing what he does.
May be you should watch with him and practice the things he likes.
ReplyDeleteNaija & prayers though, how about action for a change. At least he's nt slpn out, thus can't infect u wt STDs frm strange women.
ReplyDeleteIf he says he doesn't wnt to disturb u, its probably cos u give him an impression sex is lyk house chore for u. When he has to be d one always seekn d sex, dn he feels lyk he's disturbn u. Instead treat sex lyk food, serve him both when he asks & doesn't. Be spontaneous.
Watch d porn wt him, & have sex after to replace d masturbatn, that way u can stop d masturbatn & influence wat he watches cos he feels u are interested.
Do all these, when u drain him, doubt he'll hv d semen to masturbate.
Read some Pst T.D Jakes books on marriage affairs, very practical, not some "keep praying" advice..
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Its all your fort my Dear!..after u must av finished sex-starving him, u're here seekin for help....it clearly shows how he's nt having u as he ought to...there's no how he will buy BONA's Vaseline (lol) if yours ws handy...Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteOp he's nt Bonairo's friend sha oh!
The way pple r getin addicted to stuf lik dis is really getin on a daily increase. Pray my sister, God will help u. Also, try n give it (sex) to him anytim he wants it
ReplyDeleteWe kinda hav d same issue! My dear all we nid do is pray 2 God 4 a change
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly my experience with my husband and i feel the same the way as you. I am starting to hate him as well. His addiction is so bad that that he doesn't even desire me anymore. He will rather wank than ask me for sex. Infact since this year, he hasn't ask me for sex except i ask for it.
ReplyDeleteHe is probably too idle, have him pick up several hobbies
ReplyDeletePray, kneel down and ask God to help u. Do counselling and I think trying to be more adventrous in bed that could also help. Make it fun for both of u cuz it has to be fun for u as well. But pray with faith cuz there is nothing in dis world God cannot do when u have faith
ReplyDeleteAll these pastors and pastoresses talking about prayer like say una be saint. Mcheew! Prayer aint gonna do squat for you. Heaven helps those who help themselves. Abeg, have a heart-to heart talk about it, ask him what it is that is lacking in your bed. You can watch it with him for tips to improve your sex life. Girl, you gotta be a biatch in bed for him, unless you wan make him marry one of the porn stars!!
ReplyDeleteDear,my advice 4 u his jst 2 call on God,nd u shuld no he cnt jst leave it in jst 1 day,jst little by little.and alwz show him luv in any way u cn.....I pray u find happiness soon...
ReplyDeleteWow! Ehm... If its just porn, yh bt not masturbation! So when ure there, he'd pref his hand-made orgasm over ur lovely made boobs and ass and body? Weird! Dear, pray, then try looking sexy, watch some, learn to blow him well, and be the boss well too in bed I don't see y he won't nw be all over u! Bt don't complain next tht he's a sex freak... Hehe!
ReplyDelete~D great anonymous!
Watch the porn movies with him, your sex life will be great ( my opinion )
ReplyDeleteTake him to snagoge(tb joushua)for deliverance,he is posses with marine spirit
ReplyDeleteTypical 9jas.u guys just in2 sidin d complainant witout investigatn properly.if d woman is d type dat restrict sex only once in 3months & she stil complains its too much,u guys hv nt seen som women dat r called wife.u wil cry &hate urself
ReplyDeleteHow long will U pray???
ReplyDeleteNow take action!
There are evil Spirits behind Porn and Masturbation...
Visit the Synagogue Church Of All Nations for the new Anointing Water or look for someone who might have it.
Spray in on him in Faith when he's sleeping, in his water, food, clothes, etc without his knowledge.
You cld also get Emmanuel Tv Decoder and install... keep watching it the Demons hovering around will flee because DISTANCE IS NOT A BARRIER!
It has worked for so many pple l know.
It wld work for yur husband!!!!
My dear sister hating him won't solve the issue, before I married my husband he told me he had a serious problem with masturbation to the extent he can't sleep without even masturbating. You both have to pray about it together
ReplyDeleteAnd as you said your sex life is average, most guys that masturbate don't really understand how to pleasure a woman. Most of them masturbate because they have never had a sexual experience as they might be too shy to approach a woman. In the beginning of my marriage I didn't enjoy sex at all cause I expected a lot based on what I have read and I complained to my husband hence he watches less porn and masturbate and ensures we both thoroughly enjoy sex
Hang dat nigga properlly...xxx
ReplyDeleteHonestly, watch it with as a first step. The next step if he is not uneasy that you are watching it with him after awhile, bring your baby along to watch. If he complains, tell him nicely that as parents you just want your baby to be initiated into the family tradition. It can force him to stop or not. Am not sure it will work but its worth trying. Then pray that God gives u wisdom but hating is not d solution. He needs help so see urself as a solution provider now. Old habits doesn't just go it needs to be replaced with sth else. We all av one form of addiction or d oda. Show some love on his path to recoVery n make urself available for sex at all times. Am a married woman n 99percent of d time I say yes to my husband. Good luck
ReplyDeleteI strongly believe that masturbation and pornography were habits he cultivated in his youth when the hormones set in. To others out there get married early as old habits die hard. Sis, be more sexually active and pray that he replaces those bad habits by substututing porn for u...
ReplyDeletePLEASE READ WHAT "dudette" WROTE...... That's helps d situation .....ok.
ReplyDeleteIs it dat u guys neva dated n studied urslfs b4 gettin married or wot.didn't u notice dis b4 u got married 2 him?just asking.cos its funny u neva knew de man ur married 2 loved porn.pretty diana
ReplyDeleteDidn't you read the complaint?? She discovered this father she got married. It is not her fault...bull crap advice from people maybe you're neglecting him, maybe your not having enough sex...please the man has a serious demonic hold. Speak to his family and yours.bring it to the open. give him an ultimatum to seek proper help. You don't deserve it. Pray for him but don't be involved in his sodomic lifestyle
ReplyDeletePray to God abt it,continue to talk to him, n let him he have u.another thing u can do is to invite frnds n fmly over to stay wit u guys am so sure he won't want to embarrass himself in front of his fmly members.88
ReplyDeleteTell it 2 God!
ReplyDeleteMaybe he is guy or u can start acrobatic s in bed.
ReplyDeletemy deår, prayer nd counsélìng is d sölution 2 d problèm bt mk sure u re nt d course.Dnt deny him of sex whn he wntz it nd also learn 2 leiure him 2 bêd alwayz 2 make him avoid thoz rubbish act.
ReplyDeleteMy dear my advice to u is to watch to porn with ur husband sso after the porn u will fuck u. And also pray to god.him watching porn is just an habbit. And also make some porn movies urself in other to help but keep it away from kids.
ReplyDeletePrayer is d only thing dat can help u out of dis situation. I face d same thing too but thank God my hubby has reduced his porn watching and masturbation and I knw by Gods grace he wud totally stop it. As for pple dat say she is not giving him enuf sex dats not true dere is a spirit behind dat thing.
ReplyDeleteTo begin take it up in prayers,den after dat try to spice up d relationship in a while. U no like sexy lingerie and all dat
ReplyDeletePornography and masturbation are addictions that has got nothing to do with the wife. He's most definitely been this way before he married you dear. He needs deliverance, i'll recommend mfm. God help you.
ReplyDeletePornography and/or masturbation is something a lot of young men are struggling with. And in your husband's case, it's beginning to come between the two of you. You have to support him to kick this dangerous habit. Seek help together.
ReplyDeleteTwo sides to a story as usual Nigerians refuse to solve problems instead they call to God...take responsibility snd find out why...it might be something simple to resolve and as usual addiction is one very over used word.....Dawghouse
ReplyDeleteMy dear...yeah prayers is your next resort but this is exactly the kind of result you get when women unknowingly push their husbands to extremes. Most Nigerian women, once they put to bed, the man becomes a cupboard issue. Yes it is agreed that the new baby deserves all the attention but the man is also human and has needs. I know say una go attack me but ladies, men also have needs especially when they are married. Our dear LIB reader is lucky she noticed this stage because it would have been worse if he had gone into infidelity a.k.a seeking help outside. My dear get to talk with your man as I believe this is a result of involuntary negligence on your part. I HAF TALK MA OWN JOOR..Oya make una attack me like piranha fish but I've said the truth. GBAM
ReplyDeleteYou said its easier for him to masturbate,than to make love to you,there's a reason why that is happening,either you don't satisfy him in bed,or you give him a tough time trying to make love to you,you are the solution to your problem.I quite agree that masturbation makes him last long in bed,why don't you make love to him more often,that he wouldn't even have the strenght to play with himself.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBe his pornstar, fulfill his fantasy need I say more. :)
ReplyDeleteWel my dear prayer is d only solution 2 it.nofin is 2 hard 4 Him dt is y he is called a miraculous God,u wil witness His miracle. But try n love him(ur husband) more k......is wel
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletedo u give him head on a regular basis and stroke the most important muscle in your relationship consistently
ReplyDeleteThese women sef, forever hard to please
stroke it for him na or would u rather he outsources it from you and the porn industry to the girls in the local university
The Only Solution's that you make ur dressing appearance sexy while always with him...and find out what Get's him 2 d peak, wld prolly suggest a blowjob for him...make ur sexual intercourse with him so exciting and Bet me he'll stop masturbating...Thank me Lera
ReplyDeleteI am guessing you dont have enough sex. Especially as you have a baby at hand. if you don't know, men think about sex at least once every hour. Be glad he is masturbating at home. The alternative is to bang multiple babes outside. Talk to him to reduce it, but this is actually working for your advantage. when you are absent. he wont cheat, he will masturbate.
ReplyDeleteDon't be naive here, it's obvious you don't give him enough sex(below average sex life in a 2yrs marriage). Haba!!!! it's still the honeymoon stage, you couple should still be tearing each other's clothes apart and be sexing urselves all over the house at this stage of ur marriage. Men are attracted by what they see and love their women to be a lady in the street but a whore behind close doors.. Do this (be his whore behind closed door, give, over feed him wit sex).. By the tym you are done wit him, he will be too tired to even watch porn talkless of masturbating.. Then, you can now add prayer to it. God helps those who help themselves. Chikena..
ReplyDeletePray 2 God about it he will definitely change him 4 good. Also, give ur husband attention. Make him feel wanted
ReplyDeleteBecome a porn star for him.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is pray with n for him that's handling the spirual aspect then in the physical aspect upgrade urself and blow his brains out with good sex,change from beloe average to excellent.Am sure u give him all sorts of excuses and that's why he doesn't want to bother you,and I knw for u,u aint in the mood yet cos of the pregnancy n then ur baby,u just ve to try and stop hating cos hate is a very destructive emotion to feel for another human let alone ur husband.Goodluck and God is ur strength.
ReplyDeleteThere is absolutely nothing wrong with ur husband. U will be surprised at the number of men that are in d same situation worldwide. Its just dat most people wouldnt talk about it openly, hence u feel u are alone.
ReplyDeleteThis is an addiction that will most likely die off after a while. By scolding and hating him, u only compound d situation by making him feel depressed. Ur best action will be to get closer to him and even sit by him whenever he indulges himself. By doing this, he gradually begins to lose interest in this habit. He's simply lonely and bored.
Nigerians are simply intellectually lazy that's why whenever they have issues, they attribute it to demons and start seeking pastor. Just take a look at 80% of the comments here.. gosh!
Nigeria Nigerian Nigerians,
ReplyDeleteeven simple problem a woman or a normal wife who know the best solution for this common problem are saying put him in PRAYERS,,or can prayers aswell help him to perform good on bed?madam na wen ur husband go out nd meet all those hot girls,u go hate him fine
Tell him to get professional help, or stage a family intervention. You deal with a pornography addiction the same way you would deal with a drugs, alcohol, or gambling addiction. And with all addiction this is not something you keep to yourself in secret, his parents need to know about it.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest challenge you may face is to prove that it is truly an addiction and not just simply an entertainment past time. So depending on your financial circumstances you may want to invest in a computer program that logs searches, or keep a written log of all the times you know he was watching porn online. Yes, it will affect your sex life because his excessive self pleasuring will caused a learned behavior and he will not be able to relate sexually to another person, this is the problem with men who masturbate excessively. Plus with pornographic addiction it may escalate to instances where he will start being stimulated by more bizarre sexual acts as the normal variety may get boring after a while.
Act and act fast. Hating him is the worse thing right now, because people feed off telepathic energy and your hate for him will only push him further into that world and cause a greater schism between you too.
Porn movies are for adults and that alone justify ur husband doing it,but addiction?madam what role did you play to make him continue cos nobi today the man start am... All these naa reason why its advisable to spend time and know urselves before marriage.things are out of control in todays marriages...
ReplyDeleteRetrace ur steps maybe you were not whaat you made him believe you are come to think of it what will you be doing while he watch and wank shit? I feel this story is half true but then again you gotta do what's right and leave the rest to most high
Plz sis talk 2 God about it he is the only one that can help u...
ReplyDeletePlease, feel free to hate him!
ReplyDelete