I dated this guy for two and a half years and things were going well until October this year when he suddenly started acting up and deleted me from his Facebook page and his BB. When I asked him why he did so he said that his Facebook page was compromised and his BB was stolen. I found out later they were all lies. I got angry with him and stopped picking his calls because I was confused about his behaviour. After a while I didn't hear from him again only for me to hear that his wedding is this Saturday (that would be today).
I'm so angry and confused and want to know how to cope with rejection. How do you get back your self esteem as a woman? And how do you ever trust a man again? How do you start all over again?
That's life for you....shit happens...I'm going through the same rejection phase right now cos the love of my life is doing that same matrimonial BS with som other fellow...sad stuff. Cruel. Life. :(
ReplyDeleteLinda post my comment..Ladies the truth is you can actually read the handwriting on the wall earlier but atimes we want to patch up and know if we can still fix it. Men are dubious in character. While in a relationship pray to and also make sure you get to hear your guys opinion about you.
ReplyDeleteFirst off. I think the man deserves 3 bullets in the bu*t but girl you really have to get your fine self back up. See it this way, he's married to a different woman, prolly because he loves her more. I'm certain a failed relationship is waaaay better than a failed marriage. You'd prolly be in for a rude awakening if you married him. Just move on, easier said than done- I know- but you have to, there are a bazillion guys out there who'll die to have you as wife and they are better. He knew he wasn't treating you right and couldn't muster up the courage to tell you what his intentions were, he never deserved you, it just took him 2 and a half years to realise that. You'd look back at this years from now and wonder why you wasted your emotions on this guy, no jokes. In the meantime, enjoy true friendship, you get to date people from the circle of your friends so just make and keep good friends for now, those are the people who'd let you see how important you are. Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteAm so sorry dear....its painful but u just av to deal wit it...can u try to relocate for a while...u need something diff to make u breath another fresh air....he is not urs n better he left b4 its too late...pele dear
ReplyDeleterelocate gini? omo odeeshi, norin dey happen. u wil get over him in no time. juststay positive and take a day at a time. urs too go happen
DeleteRelocating actually helps and a rebound relationship helps more (for me tho) that's how I got over my ex fiance. Men can be mean tho but they are good ones out there. It will be difficult for you to trust guys but eventually you'll find you are only being cautious not to fall into the same trap again but then life itself is a risk how cautious can one be? You will learn to deal with it really and learn to move on. He is a wuss and will definitely want to get back in contact with you but you will not let him clear his conscience make sure you don't give him that room to think both of you can be friends with what he did. Let his conscience burn with guilt (yea wicked right? No, that's the only way you can get back at him and the fastest way to move on. Working perfectly for me). You will think of all the things you wanna tell him but please I beg you don't leave voice mails or write it in a text (you don't wanna give the power of knowing you are hurting), just talk to yourself like you were In an actual conversation with him then let it all out and go about ur business. It all gets better in time. Please if you must have a rebound relationship, make sure it doesn't exceed 2weeks to a month and make sure you tell whoever ur rebound is all about ur ex and how he hurt u and also reasons why you can't take the relationship any further cos if you take the relationship any further, you gonna be insecure in that relationship and you gonna import the hurt from ur past relationship to the new one. You have to allow urself to grieve. Cry if you feel like it and seriously move on cos aint nobody gat time for a wuss of an ex. #my2cents tho.
DeleteI forgot to mention God and the bible plus fasting and praying will be your best friends these periods and please stay away from junk food so you dong add weight, if you are heavy, you might wanna focus all that anger on losing some weight and looking fabulous k. It's not to impress him don't be silly tho, it's just to remind yourself of how important you are to yourself and losing weight helps with ur self esteem. You can also buy new clothes to suit ur new found figure and if you already are slim, please do not starve urself just eat healthy. If you are working, try to focus on ur work and look fabulous when going to work. His friends will see you and good news really travels fast but always remember sweetheart this break up is all about you and no one else but you. Don't give in to pity take back your power boo.
DeleteSmdh.men! No words. This is really hurtful to find out all along u were the play thing and not worthy.i have been there it cld crush Ur self esteem.my dear just pray for peace that passes all understanding from God.with time ul be fine.
ReplyDeleteWow what a LOSER! I'm sure he'll do the same to the bride (hopefully not). Mehn, so sorry gal. Some men can be so childish sha...smh!
ReplyDeleteIts painful yea, but babes, relax, wipe those tears and stand tall. he was'nt meant for you.
ReplyDeleteam sure pretty soon you will find the one who will ruin your lipstick (passionate kisses) and not your mascara (broken heart tears).
Wow what a LOSER! I'm sure he'll do the same to the bride (hopefully not). Mehn, so sorry gal. Some men can be so childish sha...smh!But just know that every dissapointment is a blessing is disguise.
ReplyDeleteMy dear it hurts in love,and its even worst when u love sincerely. Men cheats,women cheats and d result is one party left with heartbreak and fear of falling in love again.
ReplyDeleteBut at a time like dis,ur only solace should be,a broken relationship is beta than a broken marriage. He/she is not worth depriving ur happiness. Have it at d back of ur mind u can always do better.
~BONARIO~says so via NOKIA3310
I know job no plenty for naija, but this is jus ridiculous, every charity work is better, commot this site my friend, u serial comenter
DeleteLeave bonario alone jor. You sef no get work if you noticed that he is a serial commenter. ITK!!!
DeleteWho d hell are ?
DeleteCone head bonario neva disappoints!buhahahaha
DeletePlease make una leave Bonalux for us ehhhhhh! LOL! Btw Bona honey, that sentence should read "men cheat, women cheat..." And "he is not worth depriving you OF..." #correctingwithlurvvv :D.
DeleteCompliments of da season y'all!
Nothing like a good cry. If u loved him the heartbreak is worth shedding a tear or so. Plz grieve no more than a week or two. Write him a letter, complain to friends or basically everything u can do to fully experience ur moment. U will look back some years snd thank this person. It's better to lose someone who didn't love u anyway. Pray and stay blessed!
ReplyDeleteJust leave him alone, you are never rejected someone better will come your way, but I always tell myself this "you don't treat people like tramp and walk away,karma will definitely serve you what you deserve. Chill okay.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is for u to move on...
ReplyDeleteI wish I ve an answer for u ,buh non I can think of. just try goggle
ReplyDeleteLike seriously.......
DeleteBros its "Google" not "goggle" #thankmelater
DeleteMy dear,only God can heal u.pray abt it n release him frm ur heart n forgive him,dnt be bitter though its nt easy but if u tell it to God its way easy.life must go on.
ReplyDeleteYou are hurt. Get over it and see this as a blessing. It wasn't meant to be. Thank God you were just dating and not married.
ReplyDeleteI would advice, that you first and foremost make up your mind to deal with it.it starts with you, are you ready to let go and move on.you will feel bad, i get it but i don't see any good that comes out from it already he is getting married to day.
ReplyDeleteyou have made a good start by coming to Linda's Blog to talk to her fans, the next it for you to keep a distance with him, don't call to ask why?
focus on redefining yourself, do the things that you love doing, it will save you from thinking about him and you can achieve a success from that which will raise your Ego.
wallowing yourself thinking of him is like a death mission accomplished, so avoid that. don't allow this rejection to flow through your system and break all your defenses.
Pray to God, he is the best solution. try this and see, once you knee down and talk to God as if you were talking to Linda, or a friend. you get up feeling relieve and alive to move on into another relationship with better success , joy, and God's guidance.
www.beedazzler.blogspot.com
Tnx... Tz 4 me too.
DeleteWow! Men! He will have daughters. Don't worry, God will give u ur own husband.
ReplyDeleteTry not to see this as rejection rather take it that you were saved from some future embarrassment. Try to concentrate your mind on things that make you happy, hang out more with friends, pray some and before you know it a good man will sweep you off your feet with the right broom.
ReplyDeletehttp://theglamfile.blogspot.com
Eeeeya! Dat man is wicked...my dear i wud ve advice u do wat we watch in naija movie....go lift ur hand in d church.Lol
ReplyDeleteAwww!!! Teary *hugs* IT IS WELL
ReplyDeleteThis story is truly devastating. But what you must remember is that not all men are the same. You'll be stronger from this experience. Forgive him, not becos he deserves it but because it's good for your own soul and MOVE ON. Love will find you again but only if you keep your heart open. Lil lin, abegs, post my comment!
ReplyDeleteTo get over a guy, get under one! Chikena!
ReplyDeleteWho's this mgbeke?
DeleteNa today...a lot of women have been there done that. Better he did it now than marrying a coward. After 1 year and he doesn't put a ring on it, fly. For now, don't do crazy things like stalk him, call and think too much. Tear all the pictures you have of you two and burn it all. Accept you were just his booty call for 2 years and assure yourself never to make that mistake again. Concentrate on yourself, health, mind, education, God and make yourself stronger with self esteem. Easier said that done but the old cliche works......he ain't worth it.
ReplyDeleteYour head dey there!!
DeleteGosh, I feel ur pain! Just ask God 4 d strength n enablement. Itz a painful tin buh just learn to love God and start loving urself. A better person will come soon! Be good. @michelleogo
ReplyDeleteTake care of ur self ok n face d future
ReplyDeleteWow I'm so sorry to hear this. This must be a very tough situation for anybody to go through. Unfortunately, there is no easy way to deal with matters of the heart. Somehow you need to pull it together and be the strong woman that God made you to be. If you have the support of friends, family, and loved ones it is crucial that you lean on them for support. If you believe in God, ask for his guidance and strength through all this. I'm sure it's not easy. How could it be easy? But just keep your calm and take it one day at a time. You must feel like your world is shattered into microscopic pieces by now but TIME does really heal all wounds.
ReplyDeleteWish you all the best!
Life goes on my dear. Better guys ahead
ReplyDeleteMy dear i v gone tru dat, mine did not even dlit me, i was wif him till thursday b4 ez weddin nd e jus sed ez travelin to lagos for smfin important, only to reciv calls frm his friends that ez gerin marid dat wikend; yes i cried ma heart out bt d only ting dat i did was to put it bhind. Dou until now its nt bin easy bin wif any guy, no advice wl elp cos i ad so many friends tellin me ow to gt ova it, u r d one dat knows d limit @ wich u lovd him, nd cn tel ow u wl manage anoda rlationsip jus tlk to God to elp u *some broken hart may neva mend*
ReplyDeleteSorry dear..
DeleteI can understand how u feel my dear. I had an experience that is worst than urs... Kindly go on ur knees to God! Ask Him to restore ur joy, give u peace. Above all, find it in ur heart to "forgive". Yea its hard but tryna forgive. Forgiveness is the major. It releases ur burden. Revamp ur looks, dust urslf and keep moving. For sure friends will take u to the pub, say all shit...ignore!! Do not give room for the devil to mock u rather mock the devil. It is well with u. Warm hugs
ReplyDeleteSo sad this Ȋ̝̊̅§ happenin to U̶̲̥̅̊ but U̶̲̥̅̊ ju§t to have to move on with wwith your life.
ReplyDeleteMen are cowards! Things like this make me paranoid. I haven't had a real relationship in a longtime now cos am scared of wasting time like this. Am almost ready though.
ReplyDeleteSo unfair.
Take some time off and concerntrate on other things you like that'll make you happy. Most of all concerntrate on loving yourself, that will help you heal.
hmmm How didn't you know he was getting married that soon when you were in a relationship for 2 years ? or was it a long distance relationship? well I am sorry but sweetie, life goes on. just let karma play its parts. I know its hard because I just broke up with my bf 2 days ago and its been hell for me. BUT LIFE MUST GO ON! Yes,you are allowed to cry and have your carbs but do not stay in your funk for too long. Take up a new hobby,catch up with friends and focus on YOU.When you are all bubbly again some hot stud will be waiting by the corner.
ReplyDeleteIn addition 2wat neme said,when u get a new guy don't go in2 d relationship expectin marriage,jst enjoy it wyl it lasts cos dats what hurts most 'building castle in d air'
DeleteWhen i had a break- up with my so-called fiance after dumping me for another lady, i felt so disappointed, deceived, humiliated, disdained and my self esteemed dropped. I blamed myself for everything that or didn't happen in our relationship. I felt like I didn't act right enough to be his wife. I was so frustrated and buttered towards him and myself. I went to d porter's (God) on my knees and he put a new song in my mouth. Whenever I sing this song, i feel so relieved and happy. Now here's d song" yes, Jesus loves me, oh yes, Jesus loves me, yes, Jesus loves me, for d bible tells me so" . If anyone tells u it's going to be easy to jst let go, its a lie. But as d day keeps going and u keep singing this song, u will learn to forgive him n as soon as u do, u will find so much peace in ur heart and u will experience d blessing that comes with forgiveness. I took my time to write this cuz I feel its my duty to help someone who is going thru what i went thru. That's why God let's us go thru some situations. U will find love again like I did. And right nw am happily married to a man who honours me. Wish u all d best. Peace!!!
ReplyDeleteUr comment brought tears to my eyes...10ks 4 ur advice
DeleteGod has also put dt song in my mouth thru u...
May God bless u and ur family abundantly
My song then was 'free' by one nation crew and Casting Crown 'praise you in the storm'. i had to even do a fasting programme to overcome d heartbreak, it was God, time n friends that helped me. Now i have a wonderful man that loves me buh the fear arises sometimes.
DeleteThat's bad my dear....I feel your pain.....People like him gives LOVE a bad name...LOVE is a beautiful thing...Pick your self up beautiful and move on. It hurts but what can u do?it takes time to heal such broken heart but what is yours is yours....So dear,chill your man is going to come And dnt ever feel rejected cos you re unique...
ReplyDeleteummm.... either you are not telling the full gist or you were blind during your relationship. was it even one? facebook and bbm relationship i guess. the relationship was never leading anywhere you just didn't see it.
ReplyDeleteHappiness is an inside job and it starts with the heart. Keep moving forward. God removes a pawn and places a King next to a Queen. Someone far better is coming your way, be positive. When next you see him don't let him look at you in pity but keep him lamenting. My dear, you are better than all these. Think "CONFIDENCE"
ReplyDeleteIts easy my dear, turn to God and as they say time heals all wounds so give time the chance to work on you and while you do that work on yourself and make you a better person so you can be a near perfect companion for the right guy for who is still out there. Get busy dear doing something productive and PRAY! All the best.
ReplyDeleteDemi
Hmmmmm! My dear sista I really share in ur pains. Pls I beg u just don't go beserk....ok! Pls remain calm and just pray about it. The Lord will direct u through! Stay calm.
ReplyDeleteAccept the situation for how it is and move on, see him as someone who wasn't the right man for you.
ReplyDeleteMove on he is not man enuff and trust me God will give you a better person. Dazzling
ReplyDeleteMove on he is not man enuff and trust me God will give you a better person. Dazzling
ReplyDeleteu are d one who let urself to be rejected,u gave in too much when are are nt suppose to and i believe u throw urself cheap at him,that is what happen to ladies when u gv urself too cheap to man,get over it.
ReplyDeleteWat kind of post z dat eh? If u av nufin 2 say SHUT UP! Wen u haven't bin n a situation like dis, thank God!and don't sound self righteous!
DeleteYou are very stupid making dat comment, how dare you said she threw herslf at him nd so she deserved what happened! Who is he? You and that guy are Plonker, and heartless.I hope that happens to ur sis, aunty, niece etc. Don't forget what goes around comes around!
DeleteEvergreen, don't crucify dis person,d truth is bitter like vinegar!!
DeleteIf u search closely,u will find out there were many tings she was patching up,playing the humility card so she could be the wifey Material! .....some men don't like such pretences dey Luv Challenge! Or basically he is a cold haated player a pathetic liar at dat....he's made himself 'Karma's bitch' and 'she' will sort him out.!!
Just go bak to God in prayer babe,he will make u happy again,and wen ur real husband comes,you will be so glad u didn't end up wit dis ur ex!!
Cos God delays but is never late!!
Abeggi forget matter, its pple like u that will be choping slap from man and be pretending dat all os well so others will envy you
DeleteDear,sorry abt wat apened,I'v bin in ur shoes too,doe my guy isn't married yet bt chosed a foreign trained medical doctor over me claimin he did it cos of parental pressures on the type and class of lady he is suposed to marry.I fell out of a 2.5 yrs rltnship and I was badly hurt and broken.doe its hard bt u just av to forget him and move on,discover urself,find d tinz dat arouses ur interest and get doin dem,time heals all wounds,and above all pray well to God to giv u ur own man,now I av a business dats survivng which I grew durin my trying moments.until u forgive him and let go,ur next guy wil suffer for d sins of ur ex,and u'l only be paranoid in d relationship,hence u myt end up losing love evn if its staring at u in d face.be careful and choose carefully next time.
ReplyDeletey u let soap enta ur eye even wen u dey swimmin pool? Girl, u wia careless.
ReplyDeleteI am exactly in the same situation as u, some times I think I've moved on, other times I realise I truly havent moved on. Its painful. Wish I knew how to move on aswell
ReplyDeleteU would have picked his calls to know why he was calling
ReplyDeleteOf course the dude is calling to ask if she'll apply for the post of his mistress (extramarital affair)!! Na today..?
DeleteIts not the end of the world. I know its not going to be easy to just dust off and continue with your life but my dear you've got to try. Try very much not to wallow in self pity, he's not the man for you, its possible that God has saved you from a union that would have drained life completely from you. So just take this as an opportunity to start again, love your self like never before, get something doing and try to focus on something that we benefit people, also whenever you see him try to look as happy and as beautiful as you can, never let him see that you still affected by the hurt and pain, but instead let him see that you're even happier than when you too were together.
ReplyDeleteThis agony aunt is getting boring my dear, an a journalist and you should know when a trend is getting cold. Stop it for now.
ReplyDeleteGood question. O_0
ReplyDeleteU are bigger than Rejection, beside A man neva stopz drinking water simply because His Son, Got drown in da River.
ReplyDeleteDONT TRUST MEN, TRUST GOD AND HE WILL GIVE YOU THE IDEAL MAN THAT WILL LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE...
ReplyDeletethat's a big problem with you ladies.
ReplyDeleteyou dated the guy or You THOUGHT (in you mind alone) that you guys are dating. He got tired of your frivolous attitudes and decided time will solve your issues, now that he got serious with his life, you are here complaining and talking as if he's one big monster.
He figured out his life, wish him luck and try get your life in order
you think he'll be your last resort when you are done fucking "talk of the town"boys, but maám, you got it wrong. so, it is either two things, starting doing positive things with your life or keep up the status quo.
Bros, do u know this girl from somewhere? Abi na u be d guy?? Cos I don't understand this your tone o. Haba! Abeg cut the girl some slack jare. Talking as if sumfing else dey!!
DeleteYou are a wicked monster,must u comment she needs advice not insults ehn....I'm sure its the kind of thing ull do deceive someone that u r dating mainwhile u have the person u want to marry.....let me just tell u....YOU WILL GO TO HELL.....wicked soul
DeleteSome guys are cowards, and the guy in question is one. Ode,mumu if something like that happen to ur sister u will still wish the guy happy life abi? I wish u what the girl is going through now gbam!
DeleteI suspect this is the guy in question!!
DeleteYea,its hard mosttyms.but it won't kill u.u just ve to be extra careful.always put urself 1st.always look out for u from now onwards.I get the way u feel,but ds too shall pass...learn from it n apply the lessons u ve learnt in ur next relationship.goodluck...p.s,text him n tell him congrats,then delete the number everywhere u ve it.
ReplyDeletethat's the problem with you ladies. you're dating the guy or you THOUGHT (in your mind) that you guys are dating. you kept him at arm's -lenght thinking he's guna be your last resort when you're done Fucking the "talk of the town" boys. he figured out his life and move on.
ReplyDeleteyou know what happens to ladies like you? TIME!!!, that is it...a four lettered word.
TIME solved the problem you created in his life. so go get a life
This uche is crass. Sorry for his gf. One word for her- time. Yes cos he sounds like one that dumps em regularly
DeleteAhh ur story doesn't sound right, n uve been dating for 2 n a half yrs. Hmm. Move on, gba kadara e!
ReplyDeletelol,move on girl,u snubed him too,ur fault his fault.and I suspeCt u havnt been a good girl...God wit u,u will find ur Mr right..sorry
DeleteGet ova him wif a new lover my dear.it happened to mi too. N I moved on.guys re jst useless. Buh dah doesn't mean u can't still find good ones.
ReplyDeleteWhen christ was rejected what did he do? CHECK IT IN THE HIGHEST SELLING BOOK THE BIBLE.
ReplyDeletehmmm...yes you can go on yes he wasted your time and pumped pudding into you for more than two years' ...but he did you a favour..my husband reminds' me he did me a favour marrying me and says' so in front of the kids'...he says' he couldn't back out because pple will be upset...go figure babe and love yourself the person that worships the ground you walk on is on the way...Amen.
ReplyDeleteThat's the system of break-up called "Ghosting." Anything concerning social networking is severed between the two of you.
ReplyDeleteJust tell yourself that it gets better instead of brooding. Don't feel sorry for yourself, it happens.
So Ƨ☹Ʀя̩̥ƴ dear! Moving on íڪ d best meds, its not gonna be easy buh Ʊ get to build ur esteem back gradually! He was neva meant to be urs cos if he was dis won't happen! Take hrt!
ReplyDeleteIts a pity ma dear.there must have been several signs 2 you dat you r nt the one for him bt ur emotions must have really clouded ur sense of judgement.dnt you go into depression,he isnt worth it.pick ur the broken pieces of your life and move right on.there r still several good men out dia who wld appreciate and luv you dearly.its nt d end of the world
ReplyDeletei'd say good riddance to bad rubbish. spend sometime with yourself and love on you. do stuff you like and take sometime to listen to you.
ReplyDeleteif you feel like crying, cry. that's okay. it hurts because it mattered.
because some guy left you doesn't mean you're not amazing, loved and beautifully made.He obviously didn't deserve you.
Time heals all wounds. you will be fine. you'll look back at this and be glad you didn't end up with such a douche bag. also, forgive him. it is essential to your happiness.
God bless. ill be praying for you xx
SO SORRY FOR THAT OK, BUT ALL THE SAME, MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.
ReplyDeletesorry dear heartbreak is a necessary evil for everybody..howeva don't base your self esteem on your relationship with a guy...if you are a worker or student get involved in other things like learning a sport,swimming hanging wit female friends,charity work etc you'll be alrite..cheers
ReplyDeleteAm a guy but I swear that guy is a bastard. God!!! Go to the wedding reception set the place on fire or better still pour acid on him, no don't do those because vengeance is mine says the lord. Sweetheart if you are really sure u didn't do anything to him just hand him over to God, cry,fast and pray to God naked HE will surly punish the bastard. Don't feel down and rejected ok, remember that you are God's creation beautiful, intelligent and wonderfully made and God is not ready to give up on you(NEVER). Don't give up on yourself keep trying the best is yet to come.
ReplyDeleteAm a guy but I swear that guy is a bastard. God!!! Go to the wedding reception set the place on fire or better still pour acid on him, no don't do those because vengeance is mine says the lord. Sweetheart if you are really sure u didn't do anything to him just hand him over to God, cry,fast and pray to God naked HE will surly punish the bastard. Don't feel down and rejected ok, remember that you are God's creation beautiful, intelligent and wonderfully made and God is not ready to give up on you(NEVER). Don't give up on yourself keep trying the best is yet to come.
ReplyDeleteDifferent strokes for different folks. I would advise you take time off to get over him if you once loved him.
ReplyDeleteChange is inevitable.dats d irony of life.move on my dear.a better man will come ur way.
ReplyDeleteIts unfortunate how this happens to people with sincere hearts,am going to thru the same,but we jus have to let go as really nothing can be done they made their choices,& dis does not mean we have to loose our minds over,its quite hurting,but we need to move on !
ReplyDeleteWell we cud share our minds, If U don't mind,
Ganbellie@gmail.com
Vall24
ReplyDeletemy dear just hold on to God nd he will surly make u smile again nd soon...he is just not d real man 4u nd just know dt it is beta to hv a broken relationship than mariage. God bless u
Well, it's a sad story, and no one can understand how you feel right about now...Learning to cope with heartbreak after a breakup or divorce is hard, but it's essential if you're going to move on with your life.
ReplyDeleteEventually your heartache will lift and you will become yourself once again. Depression, loneliness and hopelessness will slowly fade away and you will start to move on without that person. You may still experience any one of the previous stages and may still get bad days but they should become less and less frequent. You know everything is going to be okay and you want to live for yourself again.
1-Accept that the relationship's over. You may need specific strategies for coping with this truth, but the sooner you commit yourself to accepting it, the sooner you'll get over the heartbreak.
2-Clean your apartment or house of anything that reminds you of your ex. Even if the breakup was mutual and respectful, you'll have a hard time moving on if you're constantly reminded of how things were.
3-Avoid seeing your ex in person, if at all possible. In many cases, cutting contact with your ex is the best way to reestablish your independence and terminate your negative emotions.
4-Think as positively and optimistically as you can. It may seem impossible, but focus on the bright spots in your future and remind yourself that you've lived alone before and can do it again.
5-View the breakup as a chance to make positive changes in your life. Rely on the strength you gain from dealing with the heartbreak to achieve future successes in your life.
I hope these helps....Take Care.
Linda am mad @ u. I posted my comments as early as 5am... And i cant find it here...
ReplyDelete*Cheechee...
Cry me a river just because your comment was published. Moron!
DeleteGet under or on top someone else.
ReplyDeleteLinda, bush girl. How did you cope when I rejected you?
I'm kidding. B/w, you're way too old for me :)
Ai <-- if u can guess who left this comment, you'll win a price - a mystery price :)
so sori girl ma sis once faced dis situation although it was n't easy at first.. But time healed her and she is happily married now
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, is this Uche commenter smoking cheap sand or what? WHat the hell kind of comments are those?! Were you in the relationship to see when she was sleeping around? It's because you're just like her ex- the kind that will lie to one person and be keeping another one elsewhere that they're planning to marry. *hiss*
ReplyDeleteSo sori 4u gurl..I almst went thru dat buh Thnk God 4nt allowin dat..I met a friend on fb last year endin n av nt seen him 4bout 8yrs.buh finaly sae him in. Abj dis wen I went 4job search.he was all ova me tellin me hw beautiful av become n hw mch he so luv me.he looked so sincere n serious bout datin n wantin2marry me..buh I didn't realy lik him .it gt so bad dat I had 2 fyt him bout 2mnths ago.buh jst last week I saw his weddin IV n he's gettin married nxt satday..I checked fb n I realised dat he's bin datin d chic since 2009 n her pix r everywhr in his album on fb buh dey were all hiden all those tym he was disturbin me.I stil kinda find it very hard 2bliev buh I thnk God dat he didn't allow me fall inluv wit him.nt even a kiss av I given him..so nuttin 2loose@all.itz a big testimony 4me
ReplyDeletecry gal! cry it off afterwhich you pick up d peices of your life and move forward and always know you are the BEST gal
ReplyDeleteThat's life my dear, same tin hapnd to me. Mine got married last weekend.you just have to 4get him and move on after all life goes on.. U will get a better suitor sooner or later.
ReplyDeleteannonymous 10.51 olodo go and read what u wrote pray nacked co pray nacked ni u tink God is an arusi aby? i wonder d God u serve.
ReplyDeleteMy dear cry as much as you can..then dry your eyes and try to move on with your life..I know how it hurts.A guy once looked me in the face and told me he was playing me all along for two years and he's ending it then because he's tired of lying and all and that he's so called cousin is Actually his girlfriend...I almost got hit by a car on my way back home because I was in so much shock..I felt I was dead..now I am with the best guy in the world and the idiot is now coming back..I told him all the things I couldn't say then and had my last laugh..you will definitely have your last laugh.karma is a crazy ass bitch
ReplyDeleteYou cant force yourself to stop liking someone, but you can tell yourself that you deserve better & try to move on.
ReplyDeleteMy ex married behind my back and I am a guy, so it can happen to anyone, just know that he wasn't for you, he has his reasons so respect that plus there are 2 sides to a story, you MIGHT have committed sins that you didnt publish , wish we could hear your ex story as well. Dr Pinch you have violent tendencies, may God forgive you.
ReplyDeletesome guys never deserve a good woman. hold your head high girl....time is a healer
ReplyDeleteDear, i knw wat u r passing thro rght now, every1 will b tellg u move on but it nt dat easy, i dated a guy 4yrs faithful to him even rejected men dat whr beta dan him just 4 him a medical doctor even came in 4rm uk to marry me i rejected him cos he beg me nt to disapoint him n i neva wanted to my frnds n family taught i was crazy, he disvirgin me n my very 1st love i culd do anytyn 4 him anytyn, i tried to b d best 4 him, but rght under my nose he got married to anoda gal, i heard it on his wedg day i almost hang myslf but i ask God sm questions n a word spoke 2 me u will 1 day see reason y it wasnt u, till today it so painful cos he is doing so well, a guy i dated wen he had ntg lived in a room, he flee wen he bought a jeep, build his house, till now he is doing so well wit his wife but i knw 1 day everytyn will b great so brave up n pray 4 d rght 1 neva tink n kill urslf over a man
ReplyDeleteMoving is d hardest thing but u have to move on .. If u stay in dat rejection ... U will hurt ur self... Start with crying it out or mourning d relationship .. Then go out more often with friends or family... Take care of urself before any1.... There is some1 else out dere 4 u
ReplyDeleteFriends pls, dis is not a jokin matter, pls watch wat u say b4 u say it,
ReplyDelete4 u baby pls let it go, get urself in orde.r
And remember dat Gods time is d best
ahn ahn.. it wasnt a real relationship then. so after he told you his bb was stolen you guys didnt communicate?? caman.. you should have know. its really about being wise... and as for getting self esteem back just be yourself and be beautiful.
ReplyDeletenaijpol.blogspot.com
You just have to look inward and dig deep for a little bit of etra saying to yourself I'm the best and not the reject! Learn from all these and stop acting pitiful cos no one will make you happy or can psyche you like yourself! Walk shoulders high and move on cos that guy is not yours so keep moving till yours finds you! Best wishes! Say your prayers too
ReplyDeleteMy gf recently broke up with me a month ago and reading ur post makes me feel slightly less unhappy about my own situation. There's not much I can add that has not already been said. Don't be easily deceived next time.
ReplyDeletePls do not judge me wrongly after reading these. My family are having serious problem since 500 year now. Which leads to my dad abandoning his family. With 8 children he don't care how we feed, pay house rent and school fees. Lots of people tired stepping in but my dad make them enemies. I have to struggle wit lots of work to provide for my younger ones schools, feeding and house rent. In all of these thinking that it will end one day but it got was. I became feed up and upset when am at home. Looking for away out I got myself pregnant for the man I so much love and he love me too, he accept his responsibility and he and his people locate my dad and ask for my hand in marriage but my father turn them down. Now I have put to bed and he still refused to bless us. What do I do pls.
ReplyDeletewit girls out there and even has 2 of them he's very very serious with judging by the tone of their bbm's.... I'm staying in the marriage for the sake of my kids and praying/hoping he changes for good and doesnt infect me with any disease, cos now i understand why he comes home drained and unable to go more than once whenever we have sex!!!! Marriage is a serious school where one learns everyday and it requires a whole lotta patience if not am sure i would ve stabbed him one day* lol.
ReplyDeleteLol @ Ghosting.
ReplyDeleteWhy lose sleep over him??? The guy is obviously a coward and you yourself need to stop moping about and get on with your life. He did you a huge favour by dumping you.
ReplyDeleteSorry girl, I don't know if he is Nigerian but Nigerian men are cowards- I had the same experience where a Naija man chased me for a year before deciding to move on without any explanation whatsoever. Worst thing is that I thought because of his exposure, class and education that he would be different but he turned out to behave terribly. I am now married to an Englishman who treats me with respect
ReplyDeleteEvery relationship must NOT end in marriage, that is the harsh reality. Having said that, I think you should go and do SELF AUDIT before you start blaming the guy because if you don't , the likelihood that another guy doing do same thing to you is real. Work on your manners, don't try to apply American model because it dosent work in this part of the world. It has failed many ladies and continue to fail them.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.
U hv missed d point here, she is heart broken cos of the disrespectful way he ended it n for wasting her tym cos she must hv loved n respected him. No 1 wnts to be played xpecially by dos u love n respect
DeleteYou know, I had a similar experience. I was seeing this guy for sometime, then all of a sudden you stopped talking to me and I found out that he was engaged to marry. I was so upset how someone can say they love you this minute and then propose to another the next minute.
ReplyDeleteThis is how Karma works; one month to their wedding, the girl just left (for whatever reason) and said she did not want to get married....LOL
He came asking me back and I was like HELL NO!!! lol
This kind of person would be unfaithful in marriage and may even divorce you quickly and move on.
So trust him, the fact that he left might be a good thing for you in the long haul. Take heart.
Jst like the popular saying time heals all wound.thou its ganna take u a real good time to get over it,bt u definitely will get over it. You see I went thru such ordeal too so I know exactly wat ur going thru right now....all I can tell u is to move on wit ur pretty self,do things that makes u happy as it helps. In ma own case it wz ma weapon,I did things I loved n shared ma pains wit ma very good friends n we all made fun of it n today am a different person. Now I realised am better off without him cuz while we were together I waz his finance,if u know wat I mean. Wen he realised the new lady couldn't pay his bills,he came back to me wit all sorts of lies to cover up. Bt it was too late to go back cuz I've moved on a loooooong time. So dear u shuld be thankful he left on time cuz he dosnt deserve u..kisses
ReplyDeleteEtochi
A wise man told me that whatever happens to you (Either good or bad) is for your own good.
ReplyDeleteThis is a phase most babes will pass through before they eventually meet prince charming! I am talking from experience! Wipe your tears cos its only a phase!
ReplyDeleteMy dear I know its really hard to just let go. Am currently going tru the same thing. Thank God for my friends they try as much as possible to ensure that there's no room for me to grief over it. Just pour your heart to God and see what He will do. The wicked shall never go unpunished.
ReplyDeletethat's sad but life goes on. its not the falling that matters but how you pick yourself up and move on. it is painful but your future is brighter and better. resist the lure to lash out at the dude or chick just let your pain be your driving fore and 'shine' your eyes so you don't make the very same mistake. the hurt will ease. take charge of your life from now
ReplyDeleteSo sorry love , just move on the same happened to me. But today am happy next month I wld be married to the best man anyone can think of and that's just 13months after . God wld lead u to the right person. Just pray and believe
ReplyDeleteMy dear,men can really be mean. Same happened 2 me. He didn't even tell me he was gettin married bcos I stopped talkin 2 him wen I saw d hand writin on d wall. Now after 2mths of gettin gettin married,he suddenly called me apologisin. Dat I am d best woman 4 him,he got married 2 a wrg person,he want a way out of d marriage. Its all a mistake,was deceived by a so called pastor,bla bla bla. God is not asleep,ok. Cry 2 him like I did,pray 4 Him 2 see u 2ru dis.u can't do it alone. Its only God dat can grant u d peace & strenght 2 move on. All hope is not lost. God will give u dat which ur hrt 2ruly desires,amen. Dry ur tears & cry no more. D law of kamer will definitely pay him a visit soones
ReplyDeletewas it Good enof 4 u 2 stop picking his calls? U started wat u cant finish. Take it, it's d price of d rejectn u meted 2 him.
ReplyDeleteLinda,u have never posted my comments ,kilode?
ReplyDeleteI am in this same situation,if not worse.
He promised me marriage,made me sleep with him and found me worthy of him,also made me choose my wedding outfit online ,wanted me to change some info on my international passport so we could go on honey moon in Dubai or Uk.he made me ask my friends which was better for that uk or Dubai .Then he stopped callin meand answering my call,I went to him,kilode but couldn't an answer.Till now From march this year,he said he will get back to me.but no word from him.I heard he had an introduction with a lady,but failed and I hear he is planning another one that will fail.I wish him what he deserve from what he did to me.Pls Linda,post this.
sorry dear but thats life and shit happens....am in d biggest dilemma of my life...been dating a guy for almost 2yrs....3mnths into d relationship he said he was going to pay a white girl for papers later he said she said she would do it for free only if he dates her and this is over a year now....i remained in d relationnship thinking okay the paper issue would soon be over as in giving him advice on how to even go about it since its for the betterment of his life...when i confronted him days back because its taking too long he told me if i could not stand his white gf i should go as in i have never been more belittled in my life..this is someone i dated his broke ass even when i had advances from very rich guys....we are both schooling in europe in which i foot my bills myself i mean everything which is very expensive and out of pity i do not ask him so i make friends with people am not suppose to on a normal day to get assistance for survival and this guys take the pleasure of telling me how foolish i am being with him yet i turned myself to ''Ruth Abokoku''.....after taking my stand to end it finally i found out am pregnant as in right now am so angry and tired of life because when i asked God for a december gift i never had this in mind....am 21 with so much life ahead of me....am caught up in either i should abort it or keep it but i do not want to be a single mum because thats how it would be with him...i really need advice because i have just been crying like crazy and am so sick right now
ReplyDeleteWent tru a similar experience also but ma dear jst knw dat in life u have 2 kiss so many frogs b4 u meet ur prince charming
ReplyDeletelife is 2short to waste nursing a broken heart,jus pic up d piece n start 2love again.
ReplyDeletebabe please you were his sideline chick and not his girlfriend. why do babes always accept the role of sideline ho and later complain he hurt me and bla bla. get over it
ReplyDeletemy dear .. kneel down and praise God because he has just saved you from misery.
ReplyDeleteItz just a phase... I neva knew ild pass thru dis. Hurts lyk h*ll
ReplyDeleteD luck wehn I get b say iv got God 'n' ma esteem. Babe, u r special... Feel dah way #Jade Said#
girl i will tell u to just move on. it won't be easy but it will sure do u good. i had a similar experience whereby i was dating guy and he told me he was going to nigeria to visit(as we dont live in the country )only for me to strt seeing picturs of his wedding in Nigeria on facebook. my dear just move on
ReplyDeleteGo get a life. Maybe you were not good enough in Bed. Olodo!
ReplyDeleteMy dear make you no worry jare.
ReplyDeleteMy own baby just sack me too go marry one happning guy like dat.
Make me and you meet up and console oursef.Abi?
I swear my hand no rough at all at all like some of those guyz wey dey find woman wey dey sad.
I fit console you my dear.
No mind dat yeye guy.
Meanwhile all de baby dem wey don waka till dem tin don wo wo make una no tink say callin us name like coward liar poorman and thief concern us.
ReplyDeleteNa woman dey cheat pass.
Some sef dey play guyz like ludo.
An una tink say we go jus dey look like mugu abi?
Baby know wetin dey go on jor.
ABEG.
It's what almost every girl in this country is going through. The average man is lustful...looking for any girl to fuck. Once they see you, they tell you lies and make you believe they love you when all they want is what is between your legs. Girls be careful. It is not everyman that you should open your legs for. You make it very easy for a guy to use you. Some guys really deserve acid baths on their balls. Thank God for God or some guys would have been six feet under by now. Wayward and promiscous fools!
ReplyDeletehmmm shit happens from different asses so my dear i wil advice u to re package ur self cos God knws d best for you, and definitely the guy is not good for you .
ReplyDeleteFrom the heart stems the issues of life, better spend your heart meditating on things of the spirit and spend your mind creating your future.THE GREMLIN SAYS, heartbreak is a percussor to high future heart blood pressure, early greying and some other not so pleasant fringe benefits so i rather you spend your precious heart-earned blood pumping through your arteries and veins to more profit. Anyone who can't respect you deserves not, note how that the things that bother us are only the things we esteem in our eyes. focus on life, find a new a hobby and get involved with it; now like i always say:how did u feellast time you looked in the mirror.....check your self and respect your self highly. Esteem only comes through inner confidence, the rest will follow, capeech?THE GREMLIN HAS SPOKEN!
ReplyDeleteGuys are terrible and deceitful,had an experience with someone I thought was polished schooled in the uk but he turned out to be the worst of all!he abandoned mi when he heard I had ectopic pregnancy and said to mi this is a clear cut sign of doom! I felt it was all over for mi!but as God would have it, that was just a wrong diagnosis!he left mi to die or suffer in misery! Today I m hale and hearty I lived through it all cried all nyt for atleast 6months,prayed a lot and now I m over it! My ex is about to marry and I wish him well,cos I'm in a better rship with a man who adores moi!I hope u realise that God loves u more and move on
ReplyDeleteIn life people would hurt you, betray you, hate you etc. but victory is not in never failing but what we become of our experiences and mistakes, my sister be strong, move on..believe me it was never meant to be . God has better plans for you and you deserve a better man. Nobody can hold you down..do exploits Babe
ReplyDeleteChild I've been down that road before and so many ppl on this . It's bout what you did or didn't do , it was all in the pipe linem
ReplyDeleteAs hard as it seems move on ,don't be too quick to rush into another relationship , give urself time to heal . Gradually it slides. on your recovery path you'll meet loads of ppl who will love you for all the right reason .
I have and it worked for me !
Some disappointments are blessings in disguise. We humans are short sighted hence we really cannot tell when God is protecting and saving us from some stray bullets. Who knows if you'll have lived a very miserable life married to him or become a widow in your early years?. Time always heals no matter how painful our life experiences may be, take heart don't be tempted to go astray or live a bitter life, just pray, remain positive and believe that God will send you a man after his own heart.
ReplyDeletethis is so crazy that iseen this blog bcuz a similar thing happened 2me 2days ago with a famous 9ja singer's brother. only thing is he's not getting married he just talked 2ova 30 women by flirting &promising them ova the internet things &had me believeing he wanted 2b with me forever no matter how much iwant 2blast him 2the media ishouldnt &when iread this im glad u didnt blast him 2his wife. all ithink is that u should take it day by day &tell urself positive things &listen 2ur own advice he will get his karma 1day. keep ur head up baby ma'am. &to the men that hurt women just remmber u wouldnt want ur father's 2treat ur mother that way &if u want 2hurt women &kill them emotionally then fuck u men cuz karma's a bitch!
ReplyDeleteYes karma is
Deletedo not worry my darling, everything has a reason
ReplyDeleteBut Nigerian women, you people need to open your eyes and stop putting all this unnecessary expectations on men. What the man did is wrong, but I'm a guy and I have felt the burden of having to promise marriage to girls, which I refused, and because of that, no relationship.
ReplyDeleteThere's this girl I like. Rather than allowing us grow closer, date for a while and then see if things can go to the next level, she started asking what my plans were in the next year. I told her, man, right now I'm trying to get a steady job and I will not be one of those dudes who marry for the sake of it. I can't allow my wife enter those ugly yellow buses, or my children go to useless schools. My wife must be comfy, driving a proper car, living in a proper house, and my kids must grow up in a proper environment. But for that all these things to happen, I have to work hard and earn money. I told her all these things and she wanted me to promise her marriage. I can't do that. If I do that and it doesn't work out then she's gonna come up here on Linda Ikeji and write some bullshit about how I abandoned her and how I'm a good for nothing fish-head.
Now, because I can't give her any marriage guarantee she's refused to date me, and so I'm left feeling lost.
Nigerian women are obsessed with marriage, or the idea of marriage. Everything has to be marriage. They don't understand that not all relationships lead to marriage. They meet a guy, date for a year or two, and then they expect he's going to marry them. If he breaks up with them for someone else they say he abandoned them.
It's all good though. I'm going to keep working. God willing, I'll get my high paying job, and then get my woman (definitely won't be HER, never).
Ya'll need to get your acts together.
Chucks
To u guys,do not perceive what u will not eat,cos if u do o ma pa e Lori.
ReplyDeleteAs for that guy who thought he has used me,o n sere ni cos he will never know peace in this life and beyond cos he forced his way inside me and told me that he had to commend me for keeping myself that fine at 34yrs,then he suddenly dumped me.
He will not see the end of this film,not even his family,Tori jeje mi ni mo joke ti o wa fi marriage lo mi,then he slept with me.a se se beer n
My dear, count it all joy. Let me confess, my sister was the other woman in a relationship, she found out 8 months into her rel that he had a gf of 8 years. She didn't complain, she with the advice of a friend, played her cards right and grabbed the guy and married him. His ex was crying up and down. From the outside, they look perfect, but if you see the fights eh....when God is on your side, you'll laugh with Karma
ReplyDeleteMy dear, i went through the exact thing in November 2010. I wept my intestines out, I was confused and just grew weaker everyday from pain. But lemme tell u some things I never did and the result. I never ever cursed him openly or secretly for once, didn't report to his friends because they all knew, obviously (when I first noticed his change I complained to his best friend, who did nothing), so when he finally stopped picking my calls I didn't turn to anyone again. My dear, it was hardddd, I was a walking zombie, but God saved me and a few good friends and my family helped me. I survived through my prayers, and I felt free, when I went to church i cried my eyes out to God, praying for the strength to survive and get the right person, and I also prayed sincerely for him and his friends (I was hurt by their attitudes, so I had to pray for them since I couldn't insult them or get physically angry at them). One year later, he called to apologise, apparently I heard, since he got married things went worse, and his wife told him he had to apologise to me and beg me to pray for him before everything could be okay. That was when I got really upset, to cut the story short I prayed for him. Heard recently that he's doing fine now. But he said something when we spoke, he said it was my silence that killed him, i neither cursed nor threw a tantrum, he said he got more scared when he realised that I was a perfect wife material in every sense but he still treated me badly. Also, since we never had sex, It was better breaking free from the hurt. My self-esteem though hurt, was still safe. Being a believer gave me the wisdom I needed during this trial. I knew a broken relationship was a sign that I was saved from an already failed marriage by God. My dear, i'm presently with a man that loves me sincerely, i've prayed and tested him in different ways, he is God-sent. He loves me even in my worst state. 2yrs from now, u'll be shocked u ever shed a tear for ur ex. It's not easy but u'll survive, channel ur hurt to praying for urself. If u see anyone that knew the both of u together, smile beautifully and say hello briefly, they'll feel hurt while u walk away a free-woman:)
ReplyDeleteGuys r mean,.he wil sure kom bak to beg..bt u v to move on wit ur life...serve a wild dog salad n meat,it wil stil go bak 2 d gutters if given an opportunity.
ReplyDelete