From a LIB reader
Before I begin, I'm 33 yrs old, full-time single mother to a beautiful 8 month old girl. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years.The beginning of our relationship was great, perfect, we both love sex sometimes we have 2 or 3 times in a night until l started having some weird changes in my private part, increase in vaginal discharges and pain during sexual intercourse. l went to the hospital ,took some test and resort came out that i have Chlamdia (sexually transmitted disease). The honest truth is that l never had sex in 13 years. He knows it and he is the first guy I had unprotected sex with when we met .l kindly sat him down and asked him if he has had Chalmdia before or has had any unprotected with another woman.
He got angry, shouted, denied, pointed finger at me and accused me of cheating and having disease, OMG men. Was speechless, disturbed and cried. I do not know any other man that has touched me at all. l've done everything to prove my loyalty, love, respect,
Second issue. Was diagnosed of fabriod last two years and i told my close friend and she adviced me not to tell him but since i love him i couldn't keep it as secret, so l told him. He promised me that we will get married and start a family and convinced me to get pregnant which i did after 5 months. As soon as i got pregnant his mood changed. i struggled alone from day 1 until the baby gal was born last year.We have never had sex for the past one year seven months now. He refused me completely even when i try.
He moved out from our apartment and visit us once in 2 or 3 weeks or even a month. We had misunderstanding last week and he told me that I'm ungrateful because he has done me good by giving me a child because the doctor said I can't any kids. He sent me a break up text message three days ago. l realize I'm losing myself with a lot of thoughts. I am stuck on the qualities he has shown me, great man, affectionate, loving, hard working, but why does he lose control when it comes to me? Please help me.
Ms Q
How is he good? Abeg please forget him to prevent further heartbreak.
ReplyDeleteplease go and survive on your own with God and your child.... PLEASE ...just let him be
ReplyDeleteNa wa story story
ReplyDeleteI really wish you could open your eyes and see the mess you have put yourself into , having had STD , you ought to have been more careful in your dealings with him , Now you are saddled with an innocent child who would suffer if care is not taken , pls move on with your life ,pray for directions and move ahead . All the very best .
ReplyDeleteforget about him and concentrate on ur child, dont waist another second on him. wow 5 long years already!, all i can say is dont make it longer, is that the kind of man u want to spend the rest of ur life with?! a man that feels okay leaving you whenever?
ReplyDeleteas for the chlamydia, it is sometimes dominant in men, so its either he gave it to u by cheating or cos he has it but he doesnt know (he shud go see the doctor).
Sorry my dear...things are sm tyms lyk dt...sm pple hv d gud syd of stories n sm dnt hv...u shuld mv on wit ur lyf...God has already blessd u....u hv a baby gal...put out ur tym on her 2 grow in love n respect of God...if u hv a career...go afta it...2 balance up ur financial part of life...4get abt d man...he iz nt urs...u only used him as a ladder 2 climb ova 2 d level u r nw....so rejoice ...d Lord iz ur strength....
ReplyDeleteLike honestly,I wonder if d pple who post dia stories on LIB actually do get sensible advice...go c a christian counsellor..cos d numba of differing opinions here wl scramble ur brain..NEKS
ReplyDeleteAwwwwh,sorry about all!
ReplyDeleteBut u made some mistakes;
1. You stayed with a man who gave u STD and didn't have the decency of apologising or show any remorse.it could have been worse,AIDS.
2. You agreed to get pregnant without marriage!whatever for?if he had this master plan,he should have married u.
The thing is u should be happy and strong for your girl.
Move on cos I dnt think he's worth it.
All the best
forget about him and concentrate on ur child, dont waist another second on him. wow 5 long years already!, all i can say is dont make it longer, is that the kind of man u want to spend the rest of ur life with?! a man that feels okay leaving you whenever?
ReplyDeleteas for the chlamydia, it is sometimes dominant in men, so its either he gave it to u by cheating or cos he has it but he doesnt know (he shud go see the doctor).
YAWNS!!!
ReplyDeleteDear lord I want to reach into the computer and give this woman and very hard slap!!!!!!! He gave you a STD and denied it fervently to the point of accusing you of cheating when it was apparent that he is the cheater (as you said you only had sex with him). Yet you refer to him as a "good man"?
ReplyDeleteTake this time for yourself, you need to reflect on why you are so 'blind' with this man and your tolerance of his misuse of you. You can't be an effective mother if your energy is so negative. How good is a man if all he left you with is worries, pain and negative energy? Think about your child and yourself! Have you checked for other STD's? Thank your lucky stars that he left, he could have given you (if he hasn't as yet) something more potent than Chlamydia....wake up woman!!
Beginning of advice: Why are women so fish brained? End of advice. PS I am a woman too
ReplyDeleteMy dear! What exactly do need advice for? He has made his stance clear,he does not love you! He does not want the relationship anymore and he obviously will not marry you.please focus your attention on the fact that inspite of ur fibroid challenge God has blessed you with a child! Move on and be the best mother you can be.
ReplyDeleteBut u no look 33 for that picture. Why u dey lie set. And may be because u dey too lazy, that's why he no love u again. Make u no dey sleep too much, get up go find work. U just dey for bed dey cry cry. People sef
ReplyDeletesweetheart MOVE ON!!!!! it is very obvious that he has or is in the process of doing so the signs are right there....please that he is your baby daddy does not mean he has to be your husband...you deserve better this man has no respect for you whatsoever talking about doing you a favour by giving you a baby seriously though??? women need to stop selling themselves short...if you choose to have unprotected sex make sure the relationship is 110% mongamous first and get tested for all STDs including HIV your sexual health is your responsibility...
ReplyDeleteI didn't get ur ques tho, but was in a similar situation sumtym last year and even tho I didn't get pregnant or haff a kid or haff STD, d guy broke up wiff me heartlessly and I was so sad cos I was stuck on his good qualities, but tym heals all wounds dear, trust me
ReplyDeleteFrom all that you have said there is only one obvious issue in your relationship and its that your boyfriend doesn't love you and is not ready 2 settle down even when he is ready, i doubt if its not gonna be with you cos u've lost his respect.
ReplyDeleteHmmm this it Serious. Gal frnd i thnk u'v got to Move on. Though its gona be real difficult bt u'v got to pick ur (Breaks) and head up!!
ReplyDeleteI don't even know what to say.
ReplyDeleteYou were diagnosed with fibroid and you carried the pregnancy to term. For that be thankful to God.
ReplyDeleteTruth is this kind of guy whether he is affectionate or hardworkign or all those other good qualities..he is a dog! He gave u Chlamydia! He is obviously fucking around. Then he gets u pregnant and treats u like crap?! Move on with your life my dear. There is no need! Before u know it, he wld start beating u up.5 years in a rshi p and no marriage. trust me...if u remain there, it wont change.There r some men..most men, na only God fit change them.
ReplyDeleteNo sex for 1 year 7 months????? damn! That is a huge sign that he has moved on from u to other women. open ur eyes pls.
ReplyDeleteNa wah o...
ReplyDeleteAt least u have a child. Focus on ur baby and move on w ur life. If he changes in the future.. good..if not God would send u another man to love and care for u. Too many bad and deceptive men out there.
ReplyDeleteI think you should just focus on your life and your child's. You need to look after yourself and treat the disease before it affects your system. I had this same disease last year and told my bf of 3 years about it, he told me to look for who gave it to him after being faithful to him. I did not make a fuss, i went to the hospital and got treated before it escalated. It is easier said than done, go to the doctor, take the fibroid out, treat the chlamydia and pray to God to give you strength. You need to take care of yourself and don't dwell on this guy who doesn't care about you.
ReplyDeleteI apologize that you have to go through this kind of situation, but I will be completely honest with you (no sugarcoating). You have been a victim of a foolish man. He played you, treated you like dirt and dumped you. But his actions towards you doesn't determine your value or destiny. Don't waste your time in trying to figure out why he loses control. Don't allow him and his stupidity to make you lose focus in life. You can cry all day if you please, but trust me if crying can fix everyone's problems, we would all be living in an ocean. With that said, you should get up, dust yourself up, focus on your life and that of your baby. Don't restrain him from being in your daughter's life, because that's evil. All you need to do is seek God with your whole heart, surround your self with positive people (Family & friends). Do your best to give your daughter the best life she can have. Also, try to forgive him, because if you don't, you will forever be miserable. Learn from this experience but don't let it hinder you from a bright future, as long as there is life, there is hope.
ReplyDeleteDamn boo...i feel ur pain
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost, one obvious sign of guilt is shouting and screaming when accused of something you know fuly well u did. He obviously cheated and that is why he started acting out...he knew the truth, but the guilt clouded his better judgment.
Secondly he must believe he is a god...for him to think he gave u the child. He didnt...God did so pls let him shove his egotistical attitude up his ass.
Babe, I understand that you are torn due to his 'love'...but can't u see he is being manipulative? he shows u love so that u come close then his real self comes out once in a while...I advice u as a one woman to another to just let him go..if he is d one for u he will come back (and even if he does be careful)..but if he isnt...then that's his loss and your gain. Do not give him that power over u...don't go back dear. Guys are generally selfish.
Best of Luck.
-M .G.
Some men r the devil's spawn. My dear dust urself and get a job if u dont already have one. At least u have a child. many women suffer in the hands of men. I found out two days ago my bf i loved who i had bn seeing for 1 yr 7 months has been dating another girl for 5 yrs.Plus living w her for 2..plus fucking up to 3 or 4 other girls on the side.Omasheeyyy oh. Only one man oh..only 1 dick oh.
ReplyDeleteSee conji oh...almost 2 years..and then 13 years???wtf?kai
ReplyDeletePlease turn to God and ask him sincerely to do what he knows how to do show you the LIGHT.
ReplyDeleteIf you need more help visit your Local church or Catholic Parish near you.
I pray the Lord reaches out to you, like He did for Haggai.
Paul Simon
Lagos, Nigeria
I do not understand your question o! What good qualities? The punk gave you a disease, bailed when you got pregnant and you are still thinking there is hope? Girl plssss! Move the eff on!
ReplyDeleteHe definitely has a skeleton in his cupboard.
ReplyDeleteThe past is past and nothing can be done but honestly, you shouldn't have had a child in the first place without getting married no matter the persuasion.
the only help u need madame is to pick up d pieces of ur life, dust ur sef up nd move on . once a man is done hes done (wen he convinced u about d baby , u shud hav convinced him bout a registry tooo. but u didnt ) trust mi wen u put ursef back in order he wud come beggin , dey always come begging, he obviously got tired of sex wit u nd seee u finish naa. mennn ehhh had d same tin nd i told my bf dat we shud do a court wedding dats wen he stammered dat d baby can wait . pls women use ur head nd not ur heart nd learn from other peoples mistakes . dnt love foolishly wit ur noses blocked . yeah its not easy dis love tin but my dear once heartbroken can neva b hrtbroken.
ReplyDeletethere are some things better not said.....i wish u recover from dis soon enough
ReplyDeletewould've loved to advise u but Linda has NEVER EVER posted my comments so far.
ReplyDeleteis this a joke?
ReplyDeleteTalk to God.
ReplyDeleteits so annoyin how men wud useee u for 3 to lik 13 yrs in a relationship ,tear ya toto finish( if u no do ur cheatin) nxt tin d excuse cud b dat ur not matured enuf den dey date a girl for two weeks den make up deir minds minyl ur own dem use 13 yrs tink weda ur the one for dem . if u dnt know in 2 yrs where ur relationship is headin too den weda love or not find ya way oh , except u no wan marry or still wan to b shookin . wen men treet girls lik dis u wonder y dey bhave d way dey do den dey treat d nxt man dey see anyhow nd hurt him nd he too ends up hurtin anoda woman nxt minute we hear all men or woman r dsame . ish kin dirty luff b rat .
ReplyDeleteMumu, this man gave you STD, stopped having sex with you, doesn't want to see you and your child, and above all sent you a break up text message (too coward to break up face to face) and you are here begging for advice? I don't know who is more stupid, you or him!!! Why some women can lower their level for men??? This is so degrading! Ok you need advice abi? Continue to beg him, isn't that what you want to hear? I should have charged you money for giving you my time advising you....hisssssssss
ReplyDeleteDear, I can understand that you are very sad at this moment. However, your child must come first. I think the man does not love you more, which does not mean that you can not come together. But for that you must prove to him that you get this very well without him. Take care of your child until it can go to kindergarten. After you take care of your professional career and to your appearance. I have just informed Chlamdia can be treated very well, ask your gynecologist. Always try to appear as a strong woman who does this very well without him.
ReplyDeleteAfter this phase, you can only win! Either he sees what a wonderful woman you are, or you find another and perhaps a better man!
I wish you strength and God's blessing no matter what!
Mana
http://the-finest-in-internet.blogspot.de/
O ma se o. The prince of this world is really in charge.
ReplyDeleteLinda; all dis stories wey u dey post on behalf of diz ppl wey dey seek our advice or solution to their problems 4 here; is becoming annoying.Wen 'em dey jolly, 'em no remember us Oo...now wey yawa don gas,'em need advice from us.Make u and all dese guys wey dey send u dese NONSENSE stories take time Oo...mtshewww.See da story sef very wack and horrible too#utter garbage!
ReplyDeleteInteresting Story!
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of help are you actually asking for? Advise on how to beg him back into your life? or how to have him get treated for the STD He gave you.
You are 33 and you need to stop playing victim.
You should have been alot smarter by having him take you to the alter and sign that dotted line, but since that didnt happen, well you have to move on!
He may come back but what are you willing to put up with this time around? Dont worry what the world would think of your being a single mother. It aint a disease! Just do all that would make you happy but never speak ill of him to his child.
Dont deny him visitation to see his daughter but do deny him entrance into your pussy.
Sad story...but get a grip on your self. He is not your God and definetly will not be the man God has prepared for you. Take care of your little girl and God shall never let you down. Take care.
ReplyDeleteMAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOU..AND SHOW YOU LOVE LIKE NONE OTHER.
ReplyDeleteIM SO SORRY ABOUT THIS...ITS REALLY HURTING ME AS I TYPE..
PLEASE PRAY..GOD KNOWS BEST AND IS IN CONTROL.
FOCUS ON YOUR SELF AND YOUR CHILD..
YOUNG LADIES,
WE SHOULD OPEN OUR EYES, AND LEARN TO BE WISE...JUST BECAUSE WE LOVE SOMEONE DOESNT MEAN WE SHOULD THROW AWAY OUR GOD GIVEN SENSE AND WISDOM.
WE HAVE READ THIS STORY FOR A REASON ...AND I PRAY IT HELPS US ALL.
GOD BLESS
Hmmm.. If all you have said is the truth, just pray to God about it and move on.. Your daughter should be the most important person in your life, right now not one sad excuse of a man.. God bless and give you the strength to make the right decisions..
ReplyDeletedear me ,oh dear.....it's fantastic you are not yet married to him.you love him,fine but the question is does he love you in the same stanza?what if you were married and he found out you had health challenges would he have bolted with someone else or stay by you? ask yourself this.see you have a bundle of joy to keep you happy until God brings a real man who will be your true love.it's a whole lot better that you have not taken a vow before his real person showed up.NK
ReplyDeletejudging pple most esp ladies wen it cms to luv issues cos is not smtin I like to do cos I am one and no dat a lady in is luv is capable of anytin. But sis u gave too much 4notin. Y buy d cow if u can get d milk 4free. I tell u al dose tinz our modas used to tell us ve nt changed. Dis guy wod only cm back to u out of strong sense of luv, or pity or a sense of responsibilty but I tell u ur chances wit him r so slim. I just wish more ladies wod ve a beta sense of decency and integrity dan to always open up deir legs to d first man dat says I luv u. Pls grab 4urself a few bks frm Michelle Mckinney hammond and learn a few tinz. Mide
ReplyDeleteDear Ms Q,
ReplyDeleteThis is all to sad for me! Hi, I am really sorry to hear all this! I am a born again Christian, Church worker and Psychologist and have a certification in peer listening. I have a Christian blog where we trash out a lot of issues surrounding female empowerment, relationships, marriage and prayer! Please contact me
My email address is princessofzion@rocketmail.com
God bless dear! I pray I can help you in this.
Ur story is logically flawD in a a lot of parts. Connect d dots btw clamydia to fibroid to conception episodes
ReplyDeleteMisslindababy
Btw its 'an' LIB reader not 'a' LIB reader. Linda dats for u. Correct urself
I'm tired of these dumb broads asking questions when they know the answer! At this day and age...you can read and write yet you allow a man you aren't married to have unprotected sex with you. Dumb dumb dumb. Stop using your blackberry to only ping and go on FB...do research. Read!
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad.Its hard dear i empathize with you but for your beautiful daughter's sake move on.Some men are heartless bastards and they don't know that this world is just funny.What goes around comes back around and these days the evil men do live WITH them not after them again. He will reap his deeds in full dear. You just MAN up or in this case WOMAN up face your work, business or whatever you do and surely God will vindicate you and sort you out.All the best dear
ReplyDeleteOh dear, let me begin by saying this...I will buy you a dictionary because it obvious you cant spell my dear. Number two you stated a man has never touched you for 13 years...wow...did you know that you could have been a carrier for chlamydia and showed no symptoms? Girl get a life and stop acting like a naive fool! From the guys reaction he was never interested in you in the first place!KMT!
ReplyDeletejust move on my dear. He is not ur God. I know how disheartened you are ..but God still has the final say. Moreover, of what use will it be for you to stay with somebody who feels he is managing you ?
ReplyDeleteat 33 you should knw better i beg.....maybe he should say it in your native dialect before you understand that its was OVER long ago....He is a mean spirited guy and you are better of without him..and linda why do you bring these tales to us i beg open a counselling centre and leave us alone. mtchewww..post my comment o
ReplyDeletemy dear,jst move on.He neva loved U. U Jst allowed him use u 2 satisfy himsef. But jst boyfriend for 5yrs @ 33 ? Jst move on, d mistake is alredy done,if he is meant 4 u ,he wil com back.
ReplyDeleteA MAN WRITING: The first mistake you made was to “open your legs for a man” in the name of love. We are to love our neighbor as ourselves (golden rule). You didn’t love yourself thus you broke the rules to please a wayfarer; yes, love is not selfish but there is selfishness here –a man who want to have sex with you before marriage is just selfish (just want to satisfy his lust; no matter what he says about love. The natural man knows rhetoric and natural females dance to it; pity though.) Sex before marriage breeds mutual suspicion (unwritten code) in both hearts; if he/she did it with me before “walking down the aisle –of course “godly” isle (this is the height of hypocrisy); it means he will do it behind me and show off pretence!
ReplyDeleteAdvice; THIS MAN DOES NOT LOVE YOU; leave him alone (without malice though) and seek God. We cannot shy away from “our father”. Read your New Testament (the life of Christ). Find a charity work and fill your life with good work. In good time, God will vindicate you and fulfill your life with lot of peace. Lots of love. You can also see Tamara Laroux’s experience; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF5uBM-q1Wg
sounds like a simple solution to me...let him GO. count your blessings that he didnt give you anything more that Chlamydiae at least thats curable. You have a young child to think about and live for. Heart breaks for tough....but you'll live...Best wishes dear.
ReplyDeletenawa o...men!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI dont care what a man tells me, I aint sleeping with him until we marry!!! This is not even an issue of fornication or what not, I am not a virgin, but its something I just decided to do.
At the end of the day when u sleep with them, u loose, so just DONT!!!
I've been hurt too many times...NOT ANYMORE
My Babe...just move on with your life abeg!!!!
My dear Lady, it breaks my heart reading your story. And the saddest part of it is that this is not an isolated case, there are thousands of young ladies in the same mess today. What this generation has failed to understand is that sin has consequences, it may be instant like your case or may delay but it surely pays. Yes sin pays, immorality (or as advocated by Linda - testing b4 marriage) pays, it pays in hard currency, it pays in STDs, heartbreaks, death and ultimately damnation. But there is hope for, if only you'll take responsibility for your sins and stop blaming anybody. You can find redemption, peace and even a happy family. Christ is the solution. It is not late for you. Check out www.singlebutnotstupid.com website for more info. Jesus loves you.
ReplyDeleteMs.Q,my thoughts on this -
ReplyDeleteFirst you didn't tell us how old your bf is and what he does for a living.These two answers could explain why for 5 yrs, he was with you.
Yes,he infected you with STD.His reaction when you confronted him stated the obvious.He became defensive.He moved out because he became bored and probably don't love you anymore.He's not going to come back,at least for now because he is not yet matured enough to be in a committed relationship.I'm sorry,no need to give you a false hope ....that's the reality,dude isn't ready to be with you and don't want to marry you, at least for now.Maybe when he grows up and it dawns on him,he may have a change of heart.
The sooner you let go of all the beautiful moments/memories you had with him in the past and move on,the better for you.Every relationship that worked or never worked,all started with beautiful memories.Sorry about your pains, but it's the truth.Move on, dude is a dishonest person and actually have been cheating on you.
This man does not love you. Concentrate on your lovely child and (perhaps studies or work; you did not tell us which one you do). Develop your person (spiritual and natural). Find solace in God's forgiving heart and also forgive this man who has hurt you. God will vindicate you. The "offender" will come back for you but please know that he does not love you. A word is enough for the wise. Good wishes.
ReplyDeleteWhat will kill you is bitterness and I know that you do not wish to die yet; at least your lovely daughter needs you. Thus forgive this guy and life goes on. You will find love if you find God. Lots of love lady.
ReplyDeletethe truth of the matter is that u can not force a man to love you from everything you wrote it is obiovous that he does not love you anymore or he never loved you before pls my sister for the sake of your sanity and child move on if its meant to be it will be, stay blessed
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_Sn7n3TRUA&feature=related
ReplyDeleteThis guy's experience helped me; I'm sure it will help you too.
Dear Ms Q,
ReplyDeleteThis guy probably loved you in the past, but it's obvious he is no longer in love with u. If your story is the complete truth, then he s not been true to you. Gather yourself together and face the reality dear. I hope u are employed and can take care of your finances? I feel bad for u sha.
For other ladies reading this, stop getting pregnant just because he said you should! Use protection if you must engage in premarital sex!
I don talk my own o.
Queen R
Where does she live? If Lagos, then i suggest she should take advantage of the new law that stipulates that a man must take care of his child.
ReplyDeletePer getting the man back, sad but no point really trying to stay with someone who does not care about you. He'll make your life horrible so, you had better learn to stay away from him till you get someone else. It is better to be alone and alright than to be attached and miserable...
Somewhere in Lagos, a fourteen year old boy and his friends are giggling and going"I can't believe we got Linda Ikeji to publish this!" Lol.
ReplyDeleteMs Q... I am a man and I knw hw a lot of men act when it comes to issues like dis,guess U handled d issues d way U did cos U were in love and also inexperienced since u said he is ur first. From all indications, he is gradually slipping away......try ur best to believe in urself, rebuild ur stance and believe dt U dont need to be dependent on him for success in life,call on family for moral and emotional support...most importantly call on to God to take control and see ur doctor regularly for ur health's sake, I wish U all d best...Kels ọ̥n̶̲̥̅̊ point
ReplyDeleteIts a pity how relationships can go from sweet to sour. My lil advice is brace yourself cos its no longer just about you. Against all odds, u still have ur baby. Go get some treatment for the STI, then the fibroid. I know its never easy to get overlong lasted relationships but when you do, u'll be suprised at the new better you that you'll discover. I've been there. Dr. X!
ReplyDeleteThat small man na standard bastard... One year seven months.... chei!
ReplyDeletemy dear, its a sad one. but, if someone makes u miserable more than they make u happy, it doesnt matter how much u love them, u need to let em go.
ReplyDeletetake care of ur beautiful baby. its not the end of the world. he is just not ur mr right. u will find a better man
Classical wolf in sheep clothing. Some men can figuratively call cattle 'bruv' just to eat beef. Not to offend U with the above comment, my point is that he probably got into the nice, caring persona just to possess not only your body but also your mind.
ReplyDeleteLove endures and takes things in its stride. His changing persona is just him revealing his true self.
My advice is to move on, take good care of your daughter and I know one day you will meet someone that deserves you.
No need wasting your time with the chamelion.
Honey,
ReplyDeletethose kind of bastards called men are ogboju, 419 men. You can never win this fight with him by being slow or kind or gentle.
1. if you need him for money to take of your child, tell him what u need and you will only see him for that.
2. Move on my dear, STAY young, TAKE care of yourself and your CHILD. It is old story that no man will marry you because you have a child.
3. NEVER give your heart to someone who is not going to work for it. trust me He will come.
I have dealt with a bastard like that before. No child but he used 419 for me. It is when i disposed him like bad news he started chasing me like magnet. I never looked bad and I am happily married and thanked my stars i didnt end up with him.
Ms Q, you need to be honest with yourself. YOU know what to do but you are holding on to the hope that LIBers will say the unthinkable. Unfortunately, you will hear the truth from me. Wake up and smell the coffee. Wake up, treat up self and move on. This guy is nice only in your head. He's changed since you contracted chlamydia. Frogs changed since you opened up about your fibroid. Girlfriend, he's not the man for you. True love is kind, it's beautiful, it does not keep a score card, it endures! May God keep you strong because it's gonna get rough at first, and then it will all fall into place. Stay strong and keep your head up.
ReplyDeletehello darling, no woman should ever forget that she doesnt need someone who doesnt need her.
ReplyDeleteSo what exactly do you want from us now? To tell you the obvious or to empathize with you?! SMH! Women sef.. some of us act like complete imbeciles sometimes!! NEXT!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOj76xrG62k&feature=related
ReplyDeleteI HAD A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE AND WAS HELPED BY EXPERIENCES LIKE THAT OF THE LADY IN THE ABOVE LINK.
IN MY CASE, MY FIANCE WENT TO A MEDIUM TO KILL ME AND MAKE MY WHOLE GENERATION MAD SIMPLY BECAUSE I JILTED HIM DUE TO HIS CHEATING ON ME. HOW DID I KNOW? IT WAS HAPPENING LIVE. MY ALTER EGO RAN MAD, EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY WAS AT THE VERGE OF DEATH. OUR KID DIED ETC. I BEGAN TO SEEK GOD (LEARNT TO FAST AND STUDY MY SCRIPTURES.) EVERYBODY WAS HEALED, MY FRIEND CONFESSED (TO THE ONE THAT RAN MAD)AND PLEADED TO LINK UP WITH ME AGAIN. OF COURSE I FORGAVE HIM AND ASKED THAT HE SHOULD PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COME (THOUGH NOT FOR ROMANCE AGAIN; I'VE LEARNT MY LESSONS)BUT HE HAS NOT (GUESS OUT OF GUILTY CONSCIENCE OR PRIDE). I HAD GONE TO HIS HOUSE ACCOMPANIED (JUST TO HELP HIM FORGIVE HIMSELF; even left a note)BUT HE WAS NOT THERE. BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON TO ME IS THAT NOW I KNOW WHO IS MY FRIEND! I HAVE LOTS OF PEACE, MARRIED WITH KIDS AND HAVE SINCE MOVED ON WITH MY LIFE. FORGOT TO ADD THAT MY HUSBAND IS THE BEST; MORE THAN I EVER WISHED OR PRAYED FOR.
nah wah ohh when women think that having fibriod would make dem not to have a child well i can tell you categorically that it is a lie as i know people who have had it for many years and dey still have children. see now how he has deceived you chei well it is not the end of the world
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, this ass-wipe did not do you a favor because he got you knocked-up. Any guy can impregnate a woman but it takes a real man to be a father so in his case he's not. You mentioned qualities about him you like? A word of advice for you, nobody & I mean nobody can luv u better than you do yourself & that being said, he cannot give you what he doesn't have and that is LOVE.
ReplyDeleteI know I'm in your shoes so I can't honestly say I know how you feel exactly, but trust me this too shall pass. Wipe your tears, hold your head high & focus on what really matters & that is you & your child. You'll emerge from this; stronger, wiser & better..
This is crap!!! the story is kind of shady!!
ReplyDeleteMove on. You are stronger than you think.
ReplyDeleteFirst issue...Chlamydia is like the most common sexually transmitted disease. Most people show no symptoms for extended periods, and so it tends to cause long term damage. I know, cause I've had it before, and honestly it may or may not be that he was sleeping around. He's probably had it long time, and its possible he infected you ages before you started seeing the symptoms...most likely cause of repeated infection. The best way to often avoid these scenarios is to get both yourselves tested before any hanky panky begins, that way you have a benchmark to work on.
ReplyDeleteAs for his attitude. Seriously you just need to sit him down and spell it out in clear details what you want for you and your child. If he doesn't want to be a part of your lives permanently, he should let you know so you can move on. There are men out there with the qualities you have become accustomed to and more, I am sure you would be fine.
Linda i do not understand this post oh. so many grammatical blunders. please what is fabriod? please take time to read before publishing. boring storing.*yawn*
ReplyDeleteSomeone helep me. Abi na coconut or cassava we them carry fill some "babes" head. Once a man says "ma****ge", them go pack tanda for im house . . .1,2,3,4 . . . 5 years! Haba wetin sef. Isoraii, love don't full ground now. Abegi, I no de blame you shaa. Me don f**k up te tee. Now I don wisen up; come zip up too. If no be God sef . . . :). I don de read better books, de with better friends and pray say make i no enter temptation lai lai. Any dude wey talk love, me I go listen shaa but if im talk s*x, na so I go run sote my heel go dey toch my head :) Gaskiya!
ReplyDeleteokay i'll help you. don't give yourself a headache, he already has an alternative, so pls preserve the little dignity u have. he knows he's guilty of cheating, they just always like to find partners in crime, infact if i was u, i wldn't have bothered arguing bcos i always say to the other person "you know in your mind what d truth is", soo why should i now be stressing my lungs? if he sees he's loosing u and u r not sending, he'll be right back to u (ehm! doesn't always work that way though)..... either ways don't stress, u just got saved from a lifetime of drama. keep fighting if u want him so bad though
ReplyDeleteOk, I'm very upset win you. And not coz I'm ur mother or anything of that sort. I'm upset with women like you. Lemmi just cut the whole long story short; its not working honey. Pls MOVE THE HECK ON!!!!! Like seriously! Count ur blessings ( the gift of your lovely daughter, experience) and count ur losses also ( chLamydia, other STIs u might not know about and wasted love and years spent with him). You can never force a man to love u. Buh trust me, even if he doesn't, sum1 else out there would. Pls treat itself to prevent PID which comes with its own palava: doxycycline 100mg twice daily for 1 week. Then see a dr after that to review u. And by the way, I don't understand why u wanna here "he's seeing sum1 else". U know that already sweety. Pls just ke fresh, look good, and take care of ur lil1, I'll do just fine. -Dr ikubihc
ReplyDeleteso sorry abt that,but am curious since he hasnt had sex wt u for 19mnths..how come d std?not judging just curious,my advice go treat d std asap...turn to GOD and focus on ur baby
ReplyDeleteI seriously cnt c ur problem!
ReplyDeleteMs Q, are you certain you are really 33?
ReplyDeleteHmmm... Thank God you have a child. I would advise you to go on with it and ignore that guy. Life goes on. In the near future, he will come back to his senses. And if not, other better deserving guy will come.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, there is nobody in this world you can't get over, if U put ur mind to it....dnt go n kill urself bcos of anyone...Get to God in prayers and focus on ur career and child...evry oda thing will fall into place soon... Sorry sha...
ReplyDeletewho goes to live with a man , have a child for him and yet you are not married to him? i think our women need re-orintation.
ReplyDeleteMen usually don't have syptoms of chlamydial infection and can act as asymptomatic carriers and spread it around to unsuspecting females. So your story is consistent in a medical perspective. So if its true u didn't sleep with any other person then its obvious your man was cheating on you d whole time. I guess u don't know ur man as well as u should. If u can't make him own up then u better move on b4 he transmits something worse to u.
ReplyDeletehe is a loser just lookin for a way out let him go u will meet som1 who deserves u bot if he is urs he will come back if not....
ReplyDeleteAm so sorry honey, men can be wicked and ridiculous. Do me a favor, just give him space and pick ur life back. If God says he's urs ,he'l definitly come back for you. Merci!
ReplyDeleteStill On the beat
my dear,i am in a similar situation,but the greatest joy u have is ur baby. Loose the guy and move on,cos there is so much out there to leave for.
ReplyDeleteMa dear all u need now is prayers n nt finkn or tearn urslf apart cos it'l mk ur sickness worse bt let God tk kontrol n u'l c urslf smiling 1mr tym.Gudluck.
ReplyDeletemy dear, dont dwell on the breakup issue. Remember u hv a beautiful baby lookin up to you. i knw its difficult but try 2 focus on being a good mother 2 ur daughter. try ur hands on smtin u love, reflect on d simple things of life and try as much 2 b happy cos life is too short. In d end if he is ur's he'll come back bt if nt den jst move on. Ur world shldnt stop rotating bcos of 1 person. Finally, pray 2 God 2 give u d strength 2 go thru dis phase. Take care
ReplyDeleteToo bad, thats men for
ReplyDeletethe solution is simple- you don't need this arrogant and disrespectful man in your life- you must not take him back under any circumstance, not even for the sake of your child! please go and seek treat for your infection and then make a resolution to move on with your life for the sake of your child.
ReplyDeleteAbeg Linda. These LIB readers wey dey post all these SOS, which one sef. Haba.
ReplyDeleteIf it's even genuine issues sef it would have been understandable. What exactly does this your 33 yr lady want us the good and bad people of obodo LIB to do kwanu?
Abeg the things wey dey happen for Nigeria and indeed globally demands more of my creative and solution programmed brain than advicing a grown woman on what she already knows to do.
Over to you good LIB persons who will use your church and mosque mind to advice and the haters of LIB wey go soon or already start to yab(turns over to another LIB story).
Linda, bia nu. Which kain mumu story b dis now? Plsss stop wasting our time on baseless tales like this. I dey warn u o. Thnk u
ReplyDeleteFact must be said...#1.it is not all relationships dt must or will lead to marriage. What will be will surely be, let's give ourselves peace of mind.
ReplyDelete#2.Separate emotions from facts, we should not be lead by feelings and physical attributes, let our reasoning take effect, let us use our head and ask questions where relevant. LOVE IS NOT BLIND ANYMORE.
#3. It takes 2 pple to fall in love not one.
#4.obey ur inner mind. There is ds spirit inside us telling us wat to do, whether u are a beliver or not.
#5.Some people keep it secret when dey fall in love, dey tell u d juicy part and leave out d oda part for u not to criticize dm. THERE IS NO BIG DEAL FALLING IN LOVE OR BEING WEDDED.
Whatever we should look out for in life is wat will give us PEACE OF MIND.#EnoughSaid#
The truth about sexually transmitted diseases is that men would be infected within two weeks after sex and it may take a woman as long as six months. So, it would be easy for men to accuse women of spreading it.
ReplyDeleteNo matter what, you need to focus on your life and how you will bring up your daughter. Sort your life out. It is not how many kids you have but what they eventually become.
Forget this guy and move on. If he truly loved you, he will come back but don't allow him to drive you crazy.
is a superstory;;;;;;; linda as you don turn dis our blog to hearts and hints magazine.no better gist again .
ReplyDeletebootylycious diva
All this issues and he's not even a "husband" yet?
ReplyDeleteI suggest you thank God for the child He has blessed you with and move on. Why do we women always dwell on things that are not good for us..... Your focus should be taking care of yourself medically, emotionally and physically. This world is just too short to be stressing over a man who clearly has moved on. Your happiness should be all that matters.
GBOT
He's an asshole and at ur age?u я̩̥̊ a dummy not to knw
ReplyDeleteYour story has holes. And please for the love of God, Nigerians should flush their sanctimony down the toilet. There are many couples cohabiting. Get used to it.
ReplyDeleteGetting over a broken relationship is hard. but you will get to your happy place. You need to work on getting there for the sake of your child.
I don't understand this story coupled with the bad english and spellings,wonder why linda didn't edit it
ReplyDeleteMs.Q, It is unfortunate that the a lot of women find themselves in your very situation; know that you are not alone. Whatever way choose to look at your life at the end, know that you have been blessed with the birth of your girl. Focus on yourself and your daughter for now. Pray for divine guidance. Fibroids diagnosis does not necessarily mean that you won't have more kids. I personally have ₪☺ respect for dishonest cowards who want to play around and have ₪☺ conscience (putting the lives of others at risk)...human beings! Hope you get treated and advice him to do the same. Experience is the best teacher...now you know not to have unprotected sex with him. Be glad that the lesson learned is not too expensive (HIV/Hepatitis...) Don't let a man drive your thoughts to the point that you feel that you are losing it. A man who acts like that is not worth seeing you :'(º°˚˚˚°ºCryº°˚˚˚°º:'( or hurt. Brush it off and move on with your life...Let him be the one to :'(º°˚˚˚°ºCryº°˚˚˚°º:'( for Ɣ☺ΰ and your daughter. Be strong for that little girl...she's going to need it. This world is changing! When all fails, do your best for yourself and your daughter and leave the rest to God.
ReplyDeleteSo linda,if she wrote Fabroid u cannot correct it 2 fibroid?na wa.u really need to work on editing .
ReplyDeleteThe answer is right in front of you. He doesn't care about you. He is cruel and doesn't deserve you. Face reality and plan ahead for yourself and little baby.
ReplyDeleteAs for other ladies, learn from this mistake please and don't be blinded by sweet words.
You dont deserve judgment right now but love and affection. I will advice you run to God. God will restore all wasted years and give you the right man that will make you happy. You need Jesus right away. Jesus loves you my sister.
ReplyDeleteLinda,are they following u from ur village ni?why are u not uploading comments?????
ReplyDeleteIf u like dnt upload dis one
First... When a guy begins to cheat and u get to know and he denys it... Then that's the beginning of problem!
ReplyDeleteAnd all this sex before marriage and pregnancy to confirm fertility is just not it!
Uve obviously made a big mistake but u can't dwell on it for the rest of ur life! Do whatever u have to do but pls... Get over him and move forward!!!
It's so sad to read this. But I think he was not planning on marrying u and was just looking 4 d perfect excuse to leave d relationship. You have 2 find the strength and courage to move on and take care of ur kid.
ReplyDeleteYou just need to learn to live without him. Don't hurt yourself. Take care of child
ReplyDeleteBbz,dis isn't one of d romantic novels yhu read.where he comes to realize his mistake.he obviously dosnt love yhu,frm yhur story I tink he pities yhu.dnt be suprisd wen he gives yhu an invitation. To his wedding.forget about him nd pray to God to give yhu smeone better.nd pls stop thinkin he will cme to realize dat he loves yhu cuz he dosnt nd never will :*
ReplyDeleteHelp you to?
ReplyDeleteMove on...He is not into you anymore...Try to focus on your child and yourself. If someone shows you who he is, believe him...Do you really want to be with a jerk ( if he is really the way you describe him in your post) like that?
As for idk
Anyway good luck and stay strong!
Nne pls move on with your life. You can't force yourself into his life. Work hard and raise your kid.
ReplyDeleteYour story is sad but you need to face the truth your man is no more that into you. He seems to have lost interest so move on. We can go on and on about why women should not get pregnant before marriage. You should have broken up with him when he gave you STD and denied it. But it's spilled milk. Pray to find another good and understanding partner.
ReplyDeleteU are as stupid as ur comment five years into a relationship no marriage gbam,he gave u STD & u were there crying like adamu while he was denying it.he got u pregnant & yet treats you like shit. Anyway stop being stupid & move on with ur life the man is not worth it
ReplyDeleteNa wa oh!
ReplyDeleteMy dear, talk to your mother or a motherly figure u have. U shouldn't be in this situation.
ReplyDeleteGBOS....(((((((Holiday RESORT))))))...I apologise for my insensitivity but I got distracted by the many typographical errors...I eventually went with 'resort' cuz it stood out the most...
ReplyDeleteAs for advice...Let him go...your destiny is never tied to someone that walks away...be a wonderful mother and he who shall come...will come and he won't tarry...
Its a dficult situation u are in admited but all is nt loss u got ur life n ur baby.its nt d end of d rd 4 so pls forge ahead.diseases ar healable n curable.c a gd pastor n cal on God He'll show up.only u cal it quit ursef,it wil never over 4u.
ReplyDeleteWell I can't give a perfect advice cos am human & prone 2 some shortfalls. However I recommend a perfection personified, God!talk 2 him, he hears & have solutions 2 every problem. *amrra*
ReplyDeleteAbeg sista move on wit ur life men are not wot it.
ReplyDeleteMove on.........
ReplyDeleteWhere do you find all these dumb stories, Ms Linda?
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!MEN*lip sealed*
ReplyDeletexori swty, but most of d blames should be aportion to u, why did u refuse to have sex up to the age of thirteen? dont u knw that those girls at their early puberty who refuses to have sex stands d risk of getting infetious diseases such as chlamidia or even aerus as they grows older?
ReplyDeleteU can't see such in developed countries as US, when will our country do away with their cave mentality?
Pls friends, try as much as possible to educate every young girl around you to have sex as much as she can, its very important to their up bringing!
cant help it, he's a douchebag. Dont think otherwise. You are better off rid of him. Have you turned to God, dear?, He is a present help in times of trouble. Imagine if you never slept with him, your life will be soo much more easier. He is real and will comfort you. Stay strong, *big hug*
ReplyDeleteMy advice to you is to move on with your life and try hard to take good care or your baby, like get a job if or do something to get money to raise this baby, God will be with u all through if the whole story is the real fact....God will bring u a man that will love u no matter your condition....Wish u all the best.
ReplyDeleteAdvice from someone who has experienced the same thing. MOVE ON!!! He has shown you his real self do not continue this relationship or marry him.MOVE ON. I was not lucky enough to have left I still went ahead with the relationship and I have suffered it.we got married and he left.!!! Be wise
ReplyDeleteLet me start by saying my dear you are worth far more than you can ever imagine and clearly it seems like your boyfriend can't see that.
ReplyDeleteI recently realised that a man can act all weird and cold, making you question how someone that loved or loves you so much treat you so badly. It is a classic case of father forgive them for they don't what they do.
My dear, keep you head up high, pray to God for peace and clarity in your life. These men often regret how they treat good women after a while. All we can hope for is that he won't miss out on the opportunity to spend the rest of his life with a beautiful person such as yourself and if he does - it's his loss.
Just pray to God for HIs will and for your boyfriend to come to his senses or for you to find one that has sense.
u be real swegbe
ReplyDeleteMadam Q,
ReplyDeleteYou are stuck with an immature, insecure and wicked man. He abuses you emotionally and all I can say is LEAVE.
He is not a miracle worker by giving you a child. His sperm is not special, God made a way, not him.
PLEASE do not get caught up in this madness. Take your wonderful daughter and be an example to her that a man is not the 'be all end all' of her life and she can stand on her own. If man comes WHEN you know your worth, he will have to treat you as that gem that you really are. He will not dash you chlamydia as gift and then blame you for it. Who is he trying to fool???
PLEASE MADAM Q, LEAVE NOW!!! BEFORE HE GETS WORSE (VIOLENT, ETC) BECAUSE IT ALL STARTS HERE.
firstly that guy is a wicked man very wicked...and he is obviously very selfish 2ndly that Chlamydia is from him and him alone. 3rdly He loses control probably to hide all the dirt he's covering and also because you might have shown him that you are so dependent on him and that you cant do without him so you kinda gave him the power to misbehave also you might not like this and i'm not saying this to bring you down but growing up i was thought that when a man that isnt your husband sleeps with you you give him your power (i'm kinda old school)
ReplyDeleteBut honey listen you feel so hurt cuz you gave him your all...i tell you you will be fine, with time you will get better the wound will dry up. time heals all wounds. just concentrate on the precious gift you have. The healing process will be alot harder without Gods help...you may loose your mind but go to your maker and ask him for strength and grace to carry on. He loves you unconditionally. Also i promise you a you heal he will send you the right man for you.
last dont accept your X back he has done enough damage lying up and down. stand your ground and be strong for you and your angel. xoxo melody!
When Love diez, Life become more illusive, than How it was, it's Left 4 u 2 rise above ur circumstance! Clean up urself and move on My dear! Better smilez awaitz u Ahead!
ReplyDeleteMy dear,pull urslf 2geda n b strong 4 ur daughter. He is an idiot,u owe him no gratitude. Pple get preg wit fibroid,I had it n I hve a daughter. Life goes on,u can't pt ur lyf on hold 4 a man. Being warm n showing u luv doesn't mke him d ultimate
ReplyDeleteWhat a SOB. Truth is a LOT of men turn coat when a baby comes into the picture. He was not your husband and has no obligation to you. Ensure he takes care of his child financially and do your best to put this man out of your mind. Chlamydia causes infertility too, so thank God you already have your child. Make sure you get treated, and take the full course of treatment.
ReplyDeleteTruth be told, you can't force anybody to be with you. Telling him of your Fibroids so that he can use his sympathy to stay with you tells me you hit a real low. Nobody deserves anyone who is not 100% into them, at nobody deserves anyone who is with them simply out of courtesy or sympathy. You deserve a man who is with you because he wants to be with you, and could not see his life without you in it. Do not settle for less just because you fear life on your own. Always know you deserve the best and the best will come to you and your child.
Ms Q, pls move on wat will b will b life itself is unfair.May God Almighty provide u wit wat u'll train d child wit.Its well.
ReplyDeleteMs Q... a lot of people will give you advice on what to do.. Honest truth is, your country is in shambles, there is no certain future. Do whatever is neccessary to be happy and comfortable. Your happiness comes first, people's opinions later.
ReplyDeleteHe's not your husband. Or he is having a really bad time, and unfortunately, you and your daughter are paying for his craziness. The answer to this is the same: try and stay calm, and reply that his breakup text "Do as you wish, God knows best, your daughter and I are here, and we wish you no harm". Then free him. Cry, and move on. Don't wait for him to come home, he probably won't and I don't want to give you false hope that he will, as he may not. Just live your life, treat the STI, be strong and bring up yur little girl. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry. You know what can help for now? Distract yourself, go spend some time with a close friend or family member. Give him space he will come back. Then pray a lot
ReplyDelete♍Ɣ dear wake up frm Ɣ☺ΰr slumber pick up Ɣ☺ΰr remaining life arise and shine, move with Ɣ☺ΰr life ЪŦ guy has no regard Fø̲̣̣я̅ Ɣ☺u cos if he does he will П̥̥̲̣̣̣̥τ̣̣̥ retreat ℓyk Ǎ̜̣̍ piece of trash over and over again..... Move jare there ȋ̝̊̅§ someone out there ЪŦ knw Ɣ☺ΰr worth he will value and adore Ɣ☺u ♍Ɣ dear
ReplyDeleteΐ†'s ŋo̶̲̥̅† †ђξ end of чφυя destiny. ßξ strong ãήϑ committed τ̲̅ȍ God. Ɣφυ ωιℓℓ ßξ shocked @ чφυя outcome. Give чφυя child †ђξ best. Dnt let †ђξ misfortune come into чφυя future, embrace Love ãήϑ Ɣφυ ωιℓℓ definitely smile again.
ReplyDeleteWell, that was because u were stupid. How old are you? 8? You are a complete idiot for getting pregnant for him willingly out of wedlock. U made him realize how desperate you are and he doesn't want to be with a stupid desperate woman!!!
ReplyDeleteIf he's human..he'll get back, put him in prayers....human beings can behave funny. but then i dnt know hw u met him but the truth is that over 90% of relationships in Nigeria now is based on class and security..and when the times for love and sacrifices come it becomes a big problem.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm my dear b strong k.may god help you.
ReplyDeleteI need to be honest here. It is very difficult to see a man that is real. But the fact here is that what has happened has happened. Just 4get about him and move on with your life. Too much worries will reduce your life span. There are 101 reasons why you should be happy
ReplyDeleteDear you, I am so sorry for all this but you are the only person that can help yourself.
ReplyDeleteI think the only person that can help you is yourself! You need to wake up and smell the coffee! You deserve so much better yet you allow yourself be treated like rubbish! This is a man that gave u an STD, a man that cannot stand up to he's responsibilities and yet you still allow him get away with all of this! I'l advice u send him a really good stinker first, telling him how less of a man he is! After that, stand and face the mirror and say "I am a beautiful woman and I deserve much better! "
ReplyDeletefirstly that guy is a wicked man very wicked...and he is obviously very selfish 2ndly that Chlamydia is from him and him alone. 3rdly He loses control probably to hide all the dirt he's covering and also because you might have shown him that you are so dependent on him and that you cant do without him so you kinda gave him the power to misbehave also you might not like this and i'm not saying this to bring you down but growing up i was thought that when a man that isnt your husband sleeps with you you give him your power (i'm kinda old school)
ReplyDeleteBut honey listen you feel so hurt cuz you gave him your all...i tell you you will be fine, with time you will get better the wound will dry up. time heals all wounds. just concentrate on the precious gift you have. The healing process will be alot harder without Gods help...you may loose your mind but go to your maker and ask him for strength and grace to carry on. He loves you unconditionally. Also i promise you a you heal he will send you the right man for you.
last dont accept your X back he has done enough damage lying up and down. stand your ground and be strong for you and your angel. xoxo melody!
Horrible guy, naive woman...hope it all gets better sha.
ReplyDeleteIts officially on; www.workingpixels.net
FICTION...GET PAID LINDA BUT U CANT FOOL EVERYONE. JUST GET PAID BUT U CANT FOOL EVERYONE. THIS IS NOTHING BUT MARIE STOKES UP IN YOUR BUSINESS. I'M UP IN THE GAME. SEE U SOON
ReplyDelete4get abt him nd live ur life
ReplyDeleteDear LIB reader,
ReplyDeleteThis is not the end of your life! As bleak as the future may seem, you have soooo much to be thankful for. In case you do not agree with me, let me remind you of the following, you have beautiful daughter to love, cherish, and call your own, you are alive, can see, speak, have two legs and hands. It is true, that you contracted Chlamydia from your ex/boyfriend, but Chlamydia is curable, it could have been worse. Not that it makes it any better, but you get the picture. Please do not let any ignorant person make you feel inferior because you have uterine fibroids. Fibroids are almost as common as birth marks. Up to 60% of black women will have or have fibroids. As much as I would not advise anybody to take in for any man before marriage, especially when the man says, "You should get pregnant first, and THEN, he will marry you!" But sweetheart, this is not the time to cry over spilt milk. I implore you to dust your self off and plan for the future. Yes, cry as much as you need to, scream on top of your lungs, it really does help, but DO NOT wallow in self pity over this issue. If you do not have a career, now may be the time for you to pursue one. Remember that you have to be a good role model for your daughter. And if you haven't done so already, PRRAAYYY! I wish you all the best!
darling move on , clearly he is a very selfish man and at this point he is not adding anything to your life apart from all this frustration, disease, sadness .First he gave you an std , if dat is not bad enough he made a very stupid and ignorant comment by sayin he has done you a favour ( wat favour ) . i would not take this man back if he comes begging, you can imagine if it was aids ( God forbid ). Girl run away from him fast.
ReplyDeleteto be honest wit u,in a situation like dis wat u need is God den move on wit ur life n takecare of ur kid.God will help u
ReplyDeleteI read yours story, and here are my few comments.
ReplyDeleteJesus is ready to accept and forgive you. You will have another opportunity.
Your misadventures is just a good opportunities to know men, and since you have a gal, your pain will serve her and you can become a good adviser for whoever needs you in this situation.
Be strong, and and stand firm, your Maker or Doer is alive and far more than you thing (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbDvi7H1Jx0)
God bless you
He's silly and is obviously scared of responsibility to u and his daughter?he should be ashamed.he definetly gave u chlamydia ESP since u haven't been with anyone else.i suggest u be prayerful and honestly try talking to him calmly on one of his visits to see his doter.
ReplyDeleteyour story is so touching. from what i can denote, the relationship was not based on true love, the guy felt he was doing you a favour.
ReplyDeleteits up to you to make a choice to stay with someone that does not care or love you or run for your life, start a new life to better your own life and that of your precious angel... you still have a very long way to go.......wishing you all the best
omo naija says,
ReplyDeletebuhahahaha *laffing in spanish*. when God said no sex before marriage, u tot he didnt knw wat he was saying right.nyways simple advice for u my dear, move on with ur life cos he will never marry you. just move on, take care of ur child, pray for forgiveness and pray to God to give u a better man. this time CLOSE YOUR LEGS.
*linda make sure u post my comment*
Well, ur story is some how pathetic, but NOT BAD, and definitely dis doesn't mean d end of d world for U. About d chlamydial infection, no one says it cannot be treated, or dat it's not possible to conceive afterwards......after all, u already have a baby. The only thing is dat it could hav these effects on those who dnt discover it early enuff. This is part of d reasons why we advise regular medical checks(once in either every 6months or every year). I'll just use dis opportunity to advise oda readers, she never had unprotected sex until she met her baby daddy. Gud but wot stopped d sex protection? Probably, she didn't wnt d guy to feel unloved or she didn't want to lose d guy. Apart from chlamydia, there are a lot of STD(s) which we should protect ourselves from. Who says d guy will not cooperate if she had insisted dat dey use condoms. I'm a man too but I must tell d ladies something, d guy u're dating nau may not be d person u'll end up marrying, so why use d enjoyment of d present to deprive urdelf of d greater one which lies ahead? If u insist on protected sex, u'll be a lot better for ur future........ Not dat I'm advocating for premarital sex as a gud thing, but we've all got to face reality dat humans will still do it... So, it's better to practice safe sex. Some parents fail to discuss dis with their kids and leave 'em to learnd from friends and neighbours. However, dat was not d best tin for dia our reader, bcos the obvious carrier of d infection denied it and decided to attack as a means to achieving defense. About the fibroids, there's nothing wrong with it. About 40 - 50% of women have it, just make sure u take fresh tins and fruits bcos a study has shown dat natural minerals help to control its growth.
ReplyDeleteAbout ur boyfriend packing out, u just dnt giv up....... Pull urself together and carry on with life. Only time unfolds d mysteries dat we humans create.... And persistence is d key to success..... So, never giv up. U've made d mistake of getting pregnant for som1 who hasn't worn a ring for u, but dat's not d end of d world. I need u to get back on ur feet, do ur best to give ir baby all u can. If dat guy is ur hubby, he'll come back; and if he's not for u, som1 meant for u will come, even with one child down. I wish u d best in life...NEVER GIVE UP. To oda female readers: pls don't let any guy spoil ur future with sweet wrds, insist on protected sex if u must hav it. To d guyz: I knw not all guys are bad, but let's try to respect d wishes of our ladies on matters of sex protection, and let's treat 'em nice..... Cos ur mum was once a young girl, and u may also hav a daughter sometym in d future..... Tnx guyz.
THIS IS A SUMMARY OF THE DANGERS OF 'SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE'!!!!! UNFORTUNATELY, NOTHING CAN BE REVERSED AT THIS MOMENT...SWEETIE,NONE OF WE LIB READERS CAN ACTUALLY HELP YOU. OH WELL,WE CAN SHARE OUR OPINIONS...THATS RIGHT!! BUT THE PROBLEM SOLVER IS GOD ALMIGHTY. PLS MY DEAR HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HIM(GOD). MORE SO,U NEED TO BE THERE FOR UR BABY GIRL. IT IS NOT THE END...WHEN THERE'S LIFE THERE IS HOPE!
ReplyDeleteMy dear in future,u shd learn to conceal somethings. Some secrets are better kept than shared!! bcos of the havoc they might cause.
ReplyDeleteMy dear I feel your pain but you have to always bear in mind that you are now a mother to a beautiful baby girl now and when ever he is ready to come around he would
ReplyDeletehe is nt lovin at all, he pretends to b wen he wants sex.if nt, why wil he b running frm sum 1 he luvs even wen u needed him most
ReplyDeletethere is one thing i belive as a man, when everybody disperse you, God will always be there for you, He did his worst but God will never leave you, turn to God and he will be there for you, there is nothing you can do to bing him back cos he already decided his beast mind......i wish you best of luck and someone that truly love you and the kid will surely come to your aid, shalom
ReplyDeletei sympathise with you and my advice to every other gal out there is its better to wait till you're married. We live in a sinful world many would say but don't forget that righteousness exalts a nation and sin is a reproach to any people Proverbs 14:34. We can't live in sin and not expect there to be consequences for the wages of sin is death Romans 6:23. Lets not abuse the grace of God over our lives. Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?" (Romans 6:1-2).
ReplyDeleteSo please repent and let God do a new thing in your life. Thanx
Honey, get antibiotics immediately, from a doc that is. Untreated chlamydia will render you BARREN. It will cause scarring in the uterus. Many males are carriers and dont know because they dont have symptoms.
ReplyDeleteswtie...the most beautiful gift God kud ever give you is a child, personally i feel your girl is a blessing and she was meant to put a smile on your face at a time like this, the mahn upstairs saw that coming i wud say.. go get rid of the STD, and d fibroid (sorry i really dont know much abt them, my bad) carry on with your job, and have the time of your life, that mahn doesnt deserve ya..end of story...its gonn be hard i tell ya, but he is sooo not worth it, pour that love on your baby girl, marriage is a beautiful thng yes..in the absence?!..LOVE YOURSELF!..and the lil cutie too..
ReplyDeletem a guy btw...*covers face*
i'm very sori
ReplyDeleteSo @ ur age ur still dumb????
ReplyDelete1st of all, y shud u β̣̣̥
ReplyDeleteliving wit a guy u r nt yet married 2? Dats d 1st mistake u made!guys usually feel caged! And 2ndly, he neva luvd u! Its painful, buh no man is worth dying for! Jst move ợ̣̣̇̇̇
и̣̣̣̥
! Der sum1 beta out der 4u!
my dear ,ms Q,life alway has the right way to do thing but the moment we miss this steps we will have issues,getting pregnant was your greatest undoing. now you have lost out as he has lost interest in the relationship and at 29 why should i date a guy more than 2 years if he won't marry me ,
ReplyDeletesolution;;;;; babe go on ur kneels and ask God for forgiveness then you pray that God heals you.
U av 2 take heart my dear, u've made a great mistake by aving unprotected sex dnt u knw u cant trust anybdy. Anyway u've 2 move on wit ur life.
ReplyDeleteU've 2 move on wit ur life my dear, u knw u dnt av 2 trust anybdy, u've made a great mistake by aving unprotected sex.
ReplyDeleteU drew tears to my eyes, jeez dat guy is really wicked. Susan
ReplyDeletePray that God should fight for you...
ReplyDeleteTruth b told ms Q ur man has got another woman in his life. Need to get over him, it may sound difficult but it's the truth. B strong n take gud care of ur daughter
ReplyDeleteHmmm Linda it is Chlamydia now... Secondly, I dont understand what we are supposed to help her with? Am i the only one thinking the above is just TMI? Some stories are not relative and unecessary. sorry if i sound judgemental. Plenty grammatical error no make me read or see road well well.
ReplyDeleteDump the f*cking looser. Guy doesnt love you. If he did he wld hv married you, supported you. Guy sounds like a selfish ass. He has u under his thumb. U r martchin to the beat of his drum. Men dont respond to desperate
ReplyDeleteCommon girl, its not rocket science he no longer loves you, he doesn't have to tell you to your face, women always want the man to come out and say it, aint gonna happen. Move on.
ReplyDeleteLeave him and move on with your life abeg. thank your star that he'd not committed you to marriage before showing his true colour. you are lucky to have a child of your own which was by God's divine arrangement cos if u hadn't, u might have to go for fibroid surgery.if u have a job, good for you and if you don't, find one or jst start something and take care of baby. very soon, you'll find a man that will appreciate you for who you are.... and who said you'll neva find a man that loves you for who you are? my dear, hold on to God and the sky is jst the beginning. am talking from experience. i was marreid after dating my hubby for 7yrs he asked to return to my parents house cos i lost my job and he was nt working.
ReplyDeletebut despite that, God still gave me a wonder man that respects and loves me even we i was diagnoise of fibroid. abegi leave the guy jor and enjoy the remaining dayz of your life am sure he'll soon come begging make sure you don't take him back o.
I normally advise people on relationship. Stop been a fool for love. We always tend to lie to ourselves when it comes to any relationship that is built on lies and deceit. We are suppose to know when to back out of any relationship, but we choose to stay and hope things will get better knowing full well its not working.
ReplyDeleteIts a pity that u're in this kind of situation,but take my advice cos I'm going to be hard,and very sincere...That man is no man and doesn't deserve.Love is no longer love when its shown only when convenient...Get a job,no matter how small...Show ur girl all the love u've got inside of u cos she's ALL u've got...Get over dat guy...Make JESUS ur pillar,ur best friend and ur confidant-HE NEVER FAILS.
ReplyDeleteCeejay "WatzUp Nigeria?" Oputa
My dear, the first thing you must do is truly accept your reality now. he may have been a great person, but he isn't now. I know people will tell you to pray and be patient with him and that is good advise, but right now you have to be selfish and take care of you and your daughter. your number one priority is that beautiful little girl.
ReplyDeleteThis life is simple, if a man wants to be with you , he will do all he can to be with you. If he doesn't, he doesn't.
The first thing you must do is go to God in serious prayer, pour your heart to Him and ask him to heal you. Ask for the grace to be emotionally independent of this man. I'm not saying that you should shun all men out of your life for good, but for now, you need to heal.
If he cannot control himself when it comes to you then he has taken it for granted that you love him. Please leave him be and concentrate on yourself and your daughter. If he comes to his senses, all well and good, if not, God has delivered you from something you or any other person could not see.
If you have any older person that you look up to, neutral to you and him, talk to that person. You will get a neutral point of view, not from someone who will automatically be on your side or his.
It will take time to get yourself, but you will be fine. Just one day at a time, decide to be in control of your emotional life, not him. If he really loved you, he would not do what he did to you.
I hope all this made some sense somehow.
I wish you the best.
Stop having sex completely so you dont transmit the disease to others
ReplyDeletehe did you a favour by leaving, obviously he is not the kind of person you wanna raise your kind with, Use this time to focus on your kids and love them like you would want anyone to love u and even more and u will see that that love will reflect and attract the right kind of people...wish u the best
ReplyDeleteQF
ReplyDeleteUv fooled ursef long enof,jst take a walk...and take care of ur daughter
Why did u tell him .... U no sabi na sence dem dey take ff naija men b him whoeva... Nne u Fuck up sha.... Well just put it in prayers everything happens for a reason... Have faith ....amout...
ReplyDeleteDaz a very cold dude.Be strong and try not to place ur hope on any gaddemn living tin n focus only on urself n ur child.Dont try t pay him bak with evil.
ReplyDeleteI'm a christian. But these are some of the reasons why I CAN'T undrstand y a woman will let her life be centred around one man at early age. He was ur 1st.....ur first mistake was having unprotected sex. Second was getting pregnant, third was giving birth. Did u think ull never find another man ? Listen dear, take of that beauty baby God gave u and forget him. Fine he'll come to the house once in a while but FORGET HIM
ReplyDeleteWell, some people fall out of love. Dont be too hard on yourself. You did nothing wrong.
ReplyDeletelife is great to say since that is what he want you just have to life with it you only have to take kia of your baby and move on with your life
ReplyDeletelife is great to say since that is what he want you just have to life with it you only have to take kia of your baby and move on with your life
ReplyDelete