Dear Linda, please I have a question for other married women on your blog. My husband goes to night clubs every Friday and I want to find out from other married women if this is normal. There's never a Friday night that he doesn't go to one night club or the other to return on Saturday morning. I've only been married for eight months and he has never missed a Friday night with the boys. Should I take this as normal?
I aint married bh I no a lil abt ds,cz I go clubn wf ma married uncle,n I no wt he does. Its nt ryt at all, 8mnths? Mehn bbz,trust mi wen I say hez olrdi slpn ard. Derez no hw a nigga goes clubn err fridy nyt n dsnt gt a couple of numbs..If its rili boys nyt out,it sud b 1ce in a longtym,+ I bet d bois hez out wf are prty much single, get ur man away frm dt hell hole,cz he wunt last.... TaMmmy
ReplyDeletewell i do not mind my own husband having a boys night out once in a while and i do too though we do not sleep outside our home. You have to have a candid conversation with him and find out why he feels the need to go out that often.
ReplyDeleteNo one can define what is normal in a relationship. only you guys can.
Its not normal,when he said I do u became d "boys".Not that he shuldnt hang out with dem but till dawn isn't for a married man,jst talk to him n pray abt it cus it won't be easy 4 him 2 let go like that cus it as obviously bcm a habit
ReplyDeleteWell I must say ur husband is still wallowing in his youthful bhaviour buh ur marriage is still 2 young 4 him 2 lev u so uncaring
ReplyDeleteWell you women will marry a guy while he was still on the streets.1 how long did you date him and while dating him did you let him go out and leave you at home during that period?Well if that is the case ,you should stop complaining.If he loves you as he is going out make sure you get ready and go and visit relative and then try to call him a lot of times during the course of the night.Then if you have brothers or sisters in lagos sleep over there until morning and he will really get mad.8 months and he is on the street already?The morning shows the day.
ReplyDeleteMadam... Its not normal o, i guess your husband is busy "flexing" with fresh babes nd nice vajay-jay.
ReplyDeletemy dear its not normal oh! only 8months???
ReplyDeletethat is where the devil is, turn his head and he'll start sleeping with other women. you need to stop him and pray for him and pray with him!!!!
please its not normal if ur not going with him.
DEAR LINDA, PLEASE TELL YOUR READER AND FAN WHO WROTE YOU THIS LETTER THAT SHE CAUSED THIS , THAT I AM SURE SHE USED TO GO CLUBBING WITH HIM WHILE THEY WERE COURTING, HOPING FOR MARRIAGE SHE WAS WILLING TO CLUB AND NOW THAT SHE IS MARRIED SHE FEELS SHE CAN AUTOMATICALLY PROGRAM HIM TO STOP? HELL NO! YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE A MAN, MOST WOMEN THINK THEY CAN, THE SOONER THEY REALISE MEN ARE PROJECT ORIENTED. UNTIL THAT MAN FINDS SOMEOTHER REPLACEMENT FOR THE FRIDAY NIGHT WAKA WAKA, IM SORRY TO BE THE BAD NEWS BEARER, BUT SHE BETTER PREPARE FOR CONCUBINES THAT HE MAY SOON BRING HOME. http://vien-smart.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeletehttp://vien-smart.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteSHE IS IN SUPER TROUBLE, ONLY GOD CAN HELP MEHN,
that guy need to grow up...He's not fully matured for marriage..If he must go then he should take his wife along
ReplyDeleteLetter To Linda From A Concerned Fan...
ReplyDeleteLin Lin,Lin Lin,Lin Lin...How many times did I call you? I am tired of coming to your blog and seeing the same post for over 4-5hours.No comments approved or posted.Mind yourself oh.The whole thing gets me irritated,and sometimes I feel like puking.But I will be saving all the Puke for you.The day I catch you in this Lagos eeeehh,I will make sure I start from your Lolavita Hair down to your matchy matchy outfit....You better Start approving comments early.
It happened to a close friend of 8yrs in marriage, d hubby got a gud job on d island has been living his 4yrs of life having fun with guys and all, only to buy his wife a range rover this feb 14th to show his apprection to his understanding wife. Nagging him will definitely push him farther. Ask if u can join in once a while and if turned down, try to get his fav drink, lure him with rounds of sex and create more fun at home, if he doesn't work, be patient, tolerant and understanding, he'll def come back home, clubbing doesn't mean his keeping girls, maybe he's used to that way of life b4 he married u so u can only try to bring him back home and not nagging him. My hubby doesn't club, dedicated to work but u'll see varieties of nude pics on his fone. My dear be a good wife by been tolerant.
ReplyDeleteThis is how nigerian men start 2 ruin deir marriages..just 8months.how sad!!!
ReplyDeleteYou need 2find a sensible way to address this problem before it affects every part of your marriage.
U r on a long tin
ReplyDeleteHe must have another girl friend that he takes to club
ReplyDeleteSince d marriage is still young, u take it like dat den after a while u sit him down n talk some sence into his head
ReplyDeleteJust pray n advise him to grow out dt habit, instead of picking fights, this is kind of trendy with the so called hip hubbies.
ReplyDeleteIt's abnormal for a married man unless you all have a non-traditioal living arrangemet. Chances are that your husband is cheatig on you...
ReplyDeleteMadam u shud av knwn d kin of guy ur husband is bfo nw na,any if he goes to d club,u also go wit him na,since it ur husband ur goin with,go av d fun 2gether dan stay at home n think bfo u go carry stroke..
ReplyDeleteIts not normal at all..ow can he club evry fri nite...hmmmm....as for me I wld advice u go with him weneva he does,cos dats wat I do xcept am nt in d mood...
ReplyDeletehmmm..I am not married, but honey why should he go to clubs and come back the next day ? and you are just married for EIGHT months!! and hes acting this way.. I am sure hes friends are still single..didn't you guys talk about this before getting married ? are you trying to get HIV or something doctors don't know about yet??? you better talk to your husband!! if hes going to the clubs you should go with him..I don't think he will love to see you go clubbing with your girlfriends and come home the next day.. speak to him.
ReplyDeletePLEASE DO NOT ASK US MY DEAR. YOU KNOW ALL THIS BEFORE YOU MARRIED HIM. MAYBE YOU WERE THINKING YOU WILL BE THE GOLDEN WOMAN TO CHANGE HIM FROM SUCH LIFESTYLE RIGHT? LET ME TELL YOU; IF YOU MEET A MAN YOU INTEND MARRYING AND HE HAS SOME NASTY LIFESTYLES DON'T THINK HE WILL CHANGE ONCE HE MARRIES YOU. I HAVE A FRIEND THE HUSBAND NOW IS A WELL KNOWN WOMANIZER EVEN BEFORE HE MARRIED MY FRIEND. MY FRIEND TOLD ME I SHOULD NOT WORRY THAT THE MAN WILL CHANGE ONCE SHE BECOMES THE WIFE. NOW THERE IS FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN IN THEIR MARRIAGE. PLEASE DON'T DISTURB US HERE AGAIN WITH SUCH POST. AND DON'T PRETEND THAT HE JUST STARTED IT AFTER HE MARRIED YOU. YOU KNOW ALL THIS WHILE. THAT IS THE PRICE YOU NOW HAVE TO PAY FOR BEING A DESPERADO JUST TO GET MARRIED. LIVE WITH IT OR QUIT BECAUSE YOU NOT EVEN HIS MOTHER CAN CHANGE HIM::
ReplyDeleteNEXT NEWS ABEG..
Nope itsnt normal....Once in awhile is normal but every blesses friday???? Laiye Laiye....Aduntos Via Metropcs LG Fone!
ReplyDeleteits not normal o...lol, just 8 months??? y'all should still be in the honey moon phase...friday nights should be when u wanna be with each other, laugh, recap the week, go out etc...its not normal!!
ReplyDeletebut wait a minute...if when u met him, he used to club every friday night then its a normal thing in his life..dont expect that to change!!! men dont change
No, e no normal at all. Why him no want adjust after marriage now? Eh, if na you want go for girls night out till day break, him go allow you? Marriage na compromise o. Some old ways need to change o.
ReplyDeleteMan wey marry form only 8months,na honey moon him suppose to dey do every weekend now! Ahn ahn
Weekdays e go dey office, then weekend e go dey with the boys, so you na invisible air wey no need him company abi?
Na young marriage, maybe him sef no know say you need him company. Na how you want come take carry belle now? Make two OF una sidon address this matter.
Make you carry smiling face approach am o. No be say wen you read some destructive comments here you go dey practicalize dem, NO. To know more and get some juicy marriage tips, I advise your to check out this blog ... wive townhall connection.
Sorry madam, I make one small mistake for spelling. The blog wey I suggest na http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com. OR. wives townhall connection.
ReplyDeleteLindo, see eh if you no post dat my comment fast eh, na that long koboko wey they dey sell for market l go carry come meet you for Your GRA. This one wey you don dey serve us gist sharp sharp dis morning, I dey suspect you o!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna ask a question b4 i ans urs......Does he do dis b4?...asin b4 u guys got married?if yes,pls deal with it....if not,then talk to him abt it,8mnths aint long @al
ReplyDeleteIts ok 4 him to want to hang out with d boys! But wen it becomes an every weekend occurence, its nt normal...considering d fact dt u both jst got married....maybe u shud tell him hw u feel abt it
ReplyDeletewell yeah... its kinda normal. Guys love to have their "time with the boys". Its a fresh air kinda thing for them. But most guys when they get married cut down the club time. Like they can go once a month or something. If you dont like him going out every Friday, you can call him out on it. Be prepared though cos then you may be tagged by him or his friends "the nagging wife"..lol
ReplyDeletehttp://diaryofthehonestnigerian-americangirl.blogspot.com/
YES! It is absolutely normal..unless of course, u don't trust ur husband. But in ur case, EVERY FRIDAY? Well, that is wayy too much..but just because he is married to u doesn't mean he shouldn't av a nice time out with his friends as u do ur friends when u go out shopping. That doesn't give him the right to experiment outside though cos he is supposed to be for u, and u only.
ReplyDeleteIts not normal my dear, there are other things involved. You just got married, u shud be all over each other now. Make him a nice meal, treat him to a nice time in bed and askhim what the issue is with this night clubbing, and that you don't like it.
ReplyDeleteYou should let him no you are worried. He is a married man, so he is meant to cut the nights with the boys and make it nights with you.
ReplyDeletenot normal oh...either you go together or no one goes at all.
ReplyDeleteBesides see how Ehime died in the plane crash.... Husbands stay at home at night/weekends!!
Dear 8 months wife-- It is only normal if it doesn't bother you. Please don't ask other women what should normal in your household. It is all about what you can cope with. Whats normal for me may not be normal for you. Get me? So if it bothers you, speak up.
ReplyDeleteDear LIB Reader, I am a married man. In response to your question, this is abnormal. Particularly since you have only been married for such a short time. does he take you with him? And what exactly is he doing there? Drinking? Wouldn't it be awkward if the roles were reversed. Wouldn't he wonder? Ask him to take you along this friday and next and lets see if he wouldn't change his plans.
ReplyDeleteummm, it all depends. you obviously knew his clubbing habits before you two got married. has any thing changed snc you two got married?
ReplyDeletebut sincerely, i wldnt like dat if my hubby did it tho. one drops sm habits after marriage, y cant he drop ds one for you n enjoy hs fridays wt u instead?
www.LailaIkeji.com
Well,the information you provided is incomplete. Was he like this before marraige or did this nightclubbing habit start recently? I know a lot of men enjoy hanging out with their friends which is not generally a bad thing,so consider how he is to you in other areas and you would be able to tell what he is up to.
ReplyDeleteIf that's what he was doing before you married, why do you think he would change. But sha you should thank God it's only Friday night not every night.
ReplyDeleteIf it bothers you so much, go with him or go out with your own girls.
No it's not normal...... if it's a habit he had before he got married, it may not be easy to stop it but u shld at least see an effort on his part to reduce it. If he made up his mind to get married, he shld be willing to sacrifice certain pleasures to build his home (that's responsibility)..... The fact is, it's not normal.
ReplyDeleteSomething is behind it...try and find out where he goes
ReplyDeleteWat is d normal occurence in night clubs? Is it not to drink, dance and chat up d ooposite sex? So wit dat conclusion, wat do u think is d right response to ur question?
ReplyDeleteAbnormalllll!!!! dunno y a married man wud b clubbin...jus my take
ReplyDeleteYou should go clubbing with him sometimes. To come home early Saturday morning, as in before 3:30 a.m. is normal. Coming home by 8 or after the sun rises is NOT normal. He is a married man, what should he be doing out that long and doing what for that matter??? Ask yourself this.
ReplyDeleteWas he stayin @ home wen u guys wr datin? If YES den learn to live with it cos its bn happenin and nothin was done about it. Den if NO I'm afraid u need to go to "LORD Chosen church". LOLs
ReplyDeleteWhr did u meet him b4 u married him in a club?Was he going to club during courtship and u let him thinking he will change? Just eight months?Was he meant 4u or u snagged him?Mayb u knew he wasnt ready to settle but u were ready so u just went ahead dnt complain its too early o beta go on ur knees rather than cry
ReplyDeleteOkay, as a dawg and working in the oil industry, i work my ass out Monday to Friday, as a matter of fact, i take my first cup of coffee in the office as early as 0600 hours and often stay up to work in the office till 2100 hours at times. Working all day long in the office, visiting clients, giving sales presentation and assisting technically with issues and concerns in the field has been the culture. Due to the nature of my job, thinking and proferring solution all the time, i tend to use up a lot of brain power and when i get home i am very tired and nothing else is of interest, so oour life is routine and dull. Pretty much no time to do cardios and stuff. So on Fridays i do the 12 kilometer bike ride with my friend after which i go back home to freshen up, get dressed and hook up with the rest of park. Friday nite is the only day of the week we have to socialize, party and talk about new opportunities in the industry, also we try to do some networking as well abi where do you think i get all that extra bucks from which you happily lavish on jewelries and clothes?
ReplyDeleteWell, we talk about the latest beaus in town and update on the ones we have laid so far as well and even get advise on how to go about resolving pertinent issues relating to work and marriage (wink, when madam sees some test messages or see a condom in your wallet). Please we keep Friday nites sacred and it would remain like this for a while and yes Giorgio Baroni is married for 12 years to a lovely wife and has 3 kids. PS, madam comes to the club with me at times.
Maybe you don't know him well before the marriage.
ReplyDeleteIt good to find out abt ur partner before any commitment.
for now it normal and you can't stop him if u won peace in ur home. just a little advice once his on good mood, but night club it not forever thing.
Juliet
Its normal, if he can go with u, and nt if nt. Bt wait wt do u do evry Fri wen hhe goes clubbing, Guess, ur husband was neva ready to get Marry wen he married u. Still living a Bachelors life.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is inconsiderate,selfish and totally disrespectful of u,his wife.Why does he want to be a married man if he is still behaving like a bachelor?Well since he does this every Friday, u might as well look for somewhere to go to on fridays,and come back on Saturdays lets see if he wont start shouting! Men like that r two face hypocrites and serial womanizers. Have a talk with this child man!
ReplyDeleteNo its not normal. He's being irresponsible. I don't mind my husband spending some time with the boys but every Friday? That's overdoing it. He should be eager to spend time with you. And this happening in your first year of Marriage makes it worrisome.
ReplyDeleteBut I guess he was like that before you married him and you didn't mind then. Why mind now?
Tho Am not married buh i dnt think its proper for a married man to be clubbing or keeping late nights! Tho men needs to spend tym wid themselves buh as a married man, its not just abt U anymor,its abt ur wife and kids too.. What if u av kids, what example is he laying down for them?.. And how will he feel if u are also hangin owt in the club with your friends til dawn? No offence but dats either a sign of irresponsibility or ur husband hasnt fully accept the fact that hes married..
ReplyDeleteDeczy..
It's wat his use 2 maybe u shld dress up n follow him wen next his goin
ReplyDeleteNo its not normal. Pretty sad if you ask me. This is your 1st yrs of marriage, where you really should be excited about each other, and rather than him trying to figure out what fun stuff to do with his wife, he's being a wacko by running back to his old hide out?
ReplyDeleteWas he doing that before you married? Prob so, what made you think he'd stop after you married. I dont get why some women expect this!
My husband hangs out with colleagues every now and then, when they make him go, for happy hour. This is like 1x every 2mths, and its not to a club at some ungodly hour. Sometimes, he'll invite me, sometimes I'll go, other times, I cant be bothered.
If he has nothing to hide, surprise him. Next Friday, dress to kill, and tell him, you and him can go have some fun at the club. If his club visit is truly innocent, he'll get excited, and quickly open car door for you. If he starts vexing, and acting horrible, then you already know the answer.
nightclub is not a place for a married man - it is often innocent but after awhile temptation creeps in - soon he'll add saturday nights as well -- it's ok to hang with his boys(at respectful hrs) - hopefully they are all married too becos if they are single then i'm sorry this is not right - i've been there and I know how you feel and know where this is heading if you DO NOT CURB IT -soon he'll have a steady nightclub girlfriend - babygirl you want to BREAK the habit now - but do so respectfully -don't nag as this will only give him more excuses - oh and why aren't you clubbing with him ? 8mos of marriage -do you have kids? this should be your honeymoon stage
ReplyDeleteBest you get your dance shoes and join him in the friday nights out, and dont be glued to him while at the parties, be more of a supportive wife than a nagging one
ReplyDeleteONOME says..........
ReplyDeleteEeeya.
Somehow I feel very very sorry for you.I am sure you did not bargain for this when you said "I do" to your man:(
quick question though:was he not going to these night clubs when you guys were dating and loffing loffing up???lollll.I am sure he was dear!You just made the mistake a lot of us women make"after marriage:he wll change".lolllllll.Ok wake up and smell the roses/stench."A person,especially a man only changes IF HE WANTS TO CHANGE".
It is not normal o my dear.It isn't.Every friday night clubbing bawo?He is looking for something.Girls,drinks,"the short lived high of parrying all night long"(I know:) I did all that before marriage.lollll)
Just take it easy o.I cannot tell you he will change drastically.Mba,Na lie.They may tell you to pray.Well prayer still works.My advice,pray he does not contract an STI or even worse HIV and bring to you.Also that one day he does not get mugged or killed in these nightclubs or while driving under the influence of alcohol.I hope he will tire for all these gallivanting one day and just GROW UP A BIT!All the best dear.
PLEASE IT'S NOT NORMAL!!! It just goes to show that he is yet to fully understand the responsibilities that come with being a married man. Myb husband made that mistake initially too, then it started leading to other things with cheating involved too. Took me doing him shege before he realised that he can't be married and still be acting likka bachelor!
ReplyDeleteBefore you got married...was he not doing it? They say when you are dating someoone thats as good as the relationship can get...so dnt expect him to change because you are now married. BTW, No, it's not normal..
ReplyDeleteAtleast na friday to come back saturday,no worry ur sef about dat na,him go soon stop or make u discuss d mata with am and see him opinion.no fight am for d mata oo.let am change from him own mind.
ReplyDeleteIts either u both go together or he stays at home.
ReplyDeleteSome men should learn to act responsible once married.
he's still a boy nd nt yet a man. In diz case its normal 4 him as a guy 2 frequent nyt clubs bt 4 a man NO. He shud b more homely. Accept it or beta groove along with him.
ReplyDeleteMy dear it is not normal oh!what is he always going to club on Fridays for?the question is this,was he always going to clubs on Fridays before you got married?did he meet you in the club?does he take you to the club?how are you sure it's a club he is always going to?today is Friday I think you should tail him to that club disguise yourself and watch his activities else your marriage is in trouble ohhh I have spoken.
ReplyDeleteLinda u have refused to post my story. I really really need advice :(. Its unfair. I sent it to your email; lindaikeji@gmail.com. Its abt Hw I hv bin dating a married man and I don't know how to end it. Please help me, I need people's opinion. Pls be fair and post mine too. Thanks, love u!
ReplyDeleteMadam new wife, I have a question for you. Was he out clubbing every Friday night before you got married? If your answer is yes (which I suspect it will be), then you have nothing to worry about. He will outgrow it. Take it from a veteran. But fighting with him over it will be a mistake. Just make sure he has reason to look forward to spending time at home. We all get bored with constant partying eventually.
ReplyDeleteI think u shld sit n talk to him, let him knw dat his married or better tell him u also wat to go clubbing wit him or ur girlfrends. Wen talkin to him, avoid shoutin and exchange of violent words.
ReplyDeleteMy question to you will be, have you ever asked him to follow him? What are his reasons for not going with you? I think he seriously needs to realise that he is now a married man and S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ curtail his excessess. You need to have a talk with him and tell him exactly how you feel. Good luck with that
ReplyDeleteIts not normal if he has never taken you along at least once. U beta wear an eagle's eye.
ReplyDeleteno its not normal. but didnt you know this before you got married? ur husband is addicted to the night life. women. booze. the whole workings.
ReplyDeleteAsk yourself this one question. Didn't you know he clubbed every Friday night b4 ur wedding? If you didn't madam then something was wrong with your courting with him,The boys he goes to club with are they married also? If yes how old is their marriage? Madam if he is an understanding personality,I advise you sit him down and talk to him about it,the marriage is still like a newly born baby,its too early to start seeing faults. But for me its not a normal thing. It is well.
ReplyDeleteTrust me its not normal, there's no way he doesn't take girls to the hotel to have sex with! I'm in Unilag and I see a lot of married men at the club trying to holla the few times I hv gone clubbing.I added one on my bbm sometime ago and the only thing the guy want is for me to be his sex partner.God forbid! And he still goes to club every other friday night.
ReplyDeleteU need to be on ur kneez or rather go for vigilz to come back on saturdays too cos seriously, he needz prayers
ReplyDeleteBin married 4 6mnths and M̶̲̥̅γ̲̣̣̥ hubby has only bin to d club twice cus i insisted he hangs out wiv d boys.dnt tink. Its healthy if he turns it to every friday activity
ReplyDeleteYour husband in my opinion is irresponsible for trawling night clubs every friday at his age!It is a different thing to hang out with his friends and do something else, but to make it a point of duty that it must be a night club every friday is a bit too much ... What happened to just hanging out in upscale bars? I lost my appetite for clubbing when i left University!Talk some sense and class into him
ReplyDeleteHave you ever followed him to the club once? If not, I am glad to let you know that he is not going to the club but to an ocultic meeting. So many things can stop you going to the club but the fear of repercussion will not allow ocultic people absent from their meeting. Secondly, if he truely goes to club, then I conclude that you are not a good wife. Mening he is looking for what is missing in you outside. Try and read D.O Fagunwa's book you may be glad you did
ReplyDeleteMadam you need to understand that it takes time for boys to grow up and become men mostly in a marriage Relationship. The day u got married was the day u grew up and authomaticaly steped into The shoes of his mum and u can easily let the fun in your life go just to keep your marriage but the man does not grow up like that. Sometimes after 10years of marriage, you realise he is still a boy.Eventhough its not normal for him to club he is just being a boy and I think you need to give him time. Talk to him gently without being a nag. Don't forget that the club is full of free girls, and most importantly pray about it. Happy married life.
ReplyDeletebabe, its not normal, its okay if u guys go together once in a while, but he goin to a club every night even tho hes suposed to be a married man is not a good thing, pls address dis in ur marriage before it goes beyond clubbin every night as if hes a single guy.
ReplyDeleteIf it has K leg,then it's not normal plain and simple.
ReplyDeleteMy dear didn't u notice it b4 u got married. Has he ever taken u even 1ce? Anyway I guess he's just having fun. Don't think its a big deal sha. With time he'll stop or u will get used to it. Is he's name chukwuka ekuweme
ReplyDeleteEvery friday and he doesn't take you along maybe once or twice? For me,it's abnormal.
ReplyDeleteNot normal at all. cant spend a wkend out without my wife except they are on vacation. u better watch something is not right here.
ReplyDeleteI can say its normal at dis stage cos its just eight months.ive bn married for 7yrs now n i can tell u dat friday nite outing was one of my major challenges in d 1st 2yrs of my marriage.he'll change wit time so just b calm,always look good n b very prayerful cos so many tins r happening out there these days o.u r even lucky its only friday.some men r neva home o.
ReplyDeleteTo be frank.... Wen it becums rotine of d day it make no senses, a married man must behave lyk one. Try 2 put a fulstop 2 dat in a luvly nd peaceful way.
ReplyDeleteTo be sincere, you should have known he attends night club before marriage. Trying to change him suddenly may be difficult so accept it as normal for now and pray and persuade him to be with you or you volunteer to go wit him to the club.
ReplyDeleteIt doesnt seem normal to me! He is obviously a fun loving and outgoing person but with marriage,should come curtailing of some excesses. (And clubbing EVERY d**m weekend is an 'excess')
ReplyDeleteDoes he go to dis clubbing wit u? Apparently not! He nids to grow up,HOW?, lets hope guys here can let us know what we can do for them to grow up!
Visit this site to connect to other married women to share their stories and urs as well
www.wivesroundtable.net.
I've seen suggestions on d site dat hav helped some wives cope wit issues that were over whelming dem. There is also LOTS of GOSSIP! *wink*
What is stoping you from going with him? Don't let him go alone, if he refused know there is something behind it.
ReplyDeleteWhat is stoping you from going with him? Don't let him go alone, if he refused know there is something behind it.
ReplyDeleteMy dear sorry am not married but I have a male married friend who does dis too. He says he can't die young. Dat after d week's stress dat he has to cool off in a club,at least to rest his brain
ReplyDeleteHe has begged his wife to come along wit him on several occasions but she is anti-social. He doesn't cheat on his wife but he just does it to relax.
It may not b as bad as u think but hopefully he will come around and you too try and match up wit him. Go clubbing wit him it wouldn't cost u anytin. Sometimes we women cause problm for our selves.
So I will advice dat d next friday he wants to go clubbing, follow him before another babe starts going wit him.
It is well.
I've bin married 4 2yrs nw and I go clubbing with my husband almost every friday. He's no longer a bachelor so y should he still hangout with his frnds like he's 1? My hubby Is evn proud n happy 2 take me out.
ReplyDeleteI'm not saying that its normal, but my hubby does the same and we've been married over 5yrs. I guess we as wives just need to keep praying for them and not make a fuss so as not to strain our relationship unduly. As long as he's safe (plus his family knows that he clubs just in case) and doesn't sleep around then I'm ok.
ReplyDeletemy dear its not ok,ow come u dint notice he was lik dis b4 u got married? and for ur information hes cheating too,wiv several girls sef cos ders no man in lagos dt goes out on friday nyts dt does nt cheat or lodge in several hotels.....let me guess,a frnd of his has a guest house ryt? pls sit him down n talk or go 2 his parents n report...he nids 2 realise dt hes now a married man...jeeeezzzz men!!!
ReplyDeleteMy dear, only one way to find out. pls u too this friday dress up and join him to that club except u are heavy.Don't just sit down there worrying. i have been married for 8 months too.
ReplyDeleteno,its certainly not normal.he is a married man now,so he should take it easy and focus on his marriage,its ok to hang out with his guys but not to the detriment of his marriage..call him and talk to him.
ReplyDeleteSome men are like that. If he was like that before you got married then don't expect him to change. Talk to him. And if u can follow him sometimes and most of all my dear, PRAY!!!
ReplyDeletewas he doing this while u were dating and how did u react to it then? if you didnt mind when u were dating i dont think you should mind now that u are married.
ReplyDeleteYou know how he was before you married him. If that's what he used to do before marriage, it will take a lot to get him to stop. If it just started, then there's a problem. Offer to go with him in a very casual manner. And look sexy when you're going. Don't expect him to just stop like that. After a while, talk about it. With time, he'll adjust. And if not, enjoy your husband the other nights and keep praying to God. But I believe he'll come around
ReplyDeleteWell from my own perspective i think your husband might have some funny stuffs going on, he probably gets a booty call on Fridays. or maybe he does that with the guys. me like to club as a guy, but when am high after clubbing the next thing in mind will be to find a booty...... i guess its same for him. better watch out & be careful.....from GASH.
ReplyDeleteDear,the earlier you stop him,the better for u,let me use myself as an example,my husband clubs every friday and will come back to tell me'ahhh its been a hectic week that's why I went to cool off.I thought he was going to stop?for where?wen I pick a quarel with him,he will ask me to always follow him so I see for myself that its just drinking dancing etc he does,but I can't.my problem now isn't the clubbing ish,my problem is that night crawlers are prone to falling victims to bad gangs,last year his car was snatched,yet he wudnt stop.his been doing this for over 2yrs now and today he will still club.
ReplyDeletefunny but he's sha having a nice thing going....
ReplyDeleteWas he doing that before marriage? If yes, that's what you allowed. Why dont you go with him and if he declines then there is a hidden agenda. Does he come home drunk?
ReplyDeleteDis is not normal. He is a married man and he should discipline himself. Maybe you aint doin wat u are are ought to be doin as a wife on friday nite *wink*
ReplyDeleteSometimes it takes men a long time to realize there's a difference between being married or being a bachelor. Just put it in prayers,try not to nag too much about it because the more you do the more he will go out and maybe even extend it to Sunday morning.
ReplyDeleteDear Newly Wed,
ReplyDeleteIt is very very abnormal for a husband to go clubbing EVERY single friday.Kilode?wats happening there?So tommorrow now,u'll go into labour on friday night n he'll drop u off at the hosp n zoom off to d club!!!it just does not make any sense for a married man.
it just shoes dat he still hasn't goten the hang of the implications of dat commitment.
Again,maybe u condoned it while u were dating and assummed that he wud stop after u get married.but things dont work dat way.u probably never complained serioudly so he took u as a very understanding lady.now u want to tell him to reduce.u just might have to look for a very very sensitive way to go about that.
Sweetie, I feel u. I ve being married for 3years n we go clubbing together. Even if u don't like it, go with him.
ReplyDeleteNot at all ... Its not normal!
ReplyDeleteit wasn't normal at all except he goes and come back that same friday night atleast b4 12 and more so mai question is directly to all the LIB readers that i think she must have known the behaviour of his husband b4 getting married to him. Therefore my advice is that they should both sit down and sort things out among them.
ReplyDeleteit is not normal, honey...your husband wants YOU to be married while he plays single...
ReplyDeleteTAKE IT FROM ME...ITS ABSOLUTELY NOT NORMAL....YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS TO GET HIS SHIT TOGETHER AND ACT LIKE A MARRIED MAN NOT A SINGLE MAN.....DIDNT YOU KNOW THIS B4 YOU MARRIED HIM?
ReplyDeleteWELL, START LETTING HIM KNOW THAT ITS NOT ACCEPTABLE NOW...DO NOT WAIT FOR HIS WINGS TO GROW BECAUSE IT MIGHT CAUSE A WEDGE IN YOUR HOME....
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? EVERY FRIDAY? LISTEN, I DONT MIND IF HE HANGS OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS EVERY FRIDAY...BUT WHY THE CLUB? THERE ARE OTHER RESPONSIBLE THINGS THEY CAN DO TOGETHER AS FRIENDS.....BUT IF HE MUST GO TO THE CLUB, ONCE A MONTH IS FINE....AND YOU SHOULD GO WITH HIM....."just saying"
My dear im a married woman,my husband neva goes to club witout m and i dnt see any reason y u shudnt follow him to club.it is so abnormal 4 him to go to club every friday.my guess is dat u knew wat u were gettin into ie he is a clubber evn b4 u married him.i wud rada u sit him down and let him knw hw u aint comfortable wit it nd u want him to stop.he is a married man nw nd shud act same,his friends ar just a distraction,soon he wil start to cheat nd causing a big prob.prayerfully tAlk to him.God wil help u ijn,dreadii
ReplyDeleteNO ITS NOT AND YOU KNOW ITS NOT...SO WHY ASK???
ReplyDeleteWOMEN..I JUST DONT GET...U MUST HAVE SEEN THIS TRAIT WHEN U WERE DATING HIM.
MEN DONT REALLY CHANGE...THEY ONLY MATURE...HE NEEDS TO GROW UP
HOWEVER SOME JUST LIKE THE PARTY LIFESTYLE AND THATS WHY IM A BIT BAFFLED...BECAUSE U MUST HAVE KNOWN THIS BEFORE
LADIESS AND GENTLEMEN....MARRIAGE DOES NOT CHANGE THE CHARACTERISTICS OF ANYONE OH!!!!
ONLY GOD CAN...SO LIB READER....GO AND PRAY...BECAUSE THATS THE ONLY SOLUTION I CAN GIVE U.
IF U TALK TO MUCH....IT WOULD ONLY GET WORSE.
when you guys were dating was it like that? if yes then you don't have to complain but if No, My dear sit him down and let him know how you feel about it. I have a colleague who clubs almost every weekend and sometimes he goes with the wife, so you can do same if you are not pregnant or with any baby to care for. As for me i don't club and my husband does either.
ReplyDeleteAbeg Madam Linda post my comment today oo
No it is nt normal,ur marriage is still very young,u shld still be buried in each other's arms,definately there is smetyn he is gettin out there dt u cnt give hm,try findout and make corrections!
ReplyDeletewas he not going to the club before you married him?
ReplyDeleteWhich kain mumu wife be this bikonu? You're a newlywed and your husband goes out every single weekend and spends the night and you're wondering if it is normal?
ReplyDeleteAnyways, let me tell you for free, it is unusual that your husband wants to spend every single friday out and not return until saturday morning. It seems like he's spending the night with someone or some people. Next week when he's getting ready, you too go and start getting dressed and enter the car. If he says, its boys only, then you insist that you won't interrupt. If he makes a fuss, you sef you know.
What kind of yeye question is that .....off course its not normal, you better dress up and be going every friday too. When I got married, my husband use to go clubbing occassionally and even with my big belle I followed him. When he was tired of seeing me in club he started sitting at home
ReplyDeleteThat's the easiest way for your husband to have affairs, AIDS is real, its either he stops going or you (no matter how much you hate it or tired ) dress up and go too.
****Trust me once u start going, he will stop because ur presence will suck out the fun in it...lol
My dear, what exactly is normal? I am in my 6yrs of married life and from day one my husband has clubbed or hung out with the boys every friday nite to return home the next morning. In the early days i cried myself out wondering why me? Why is my own different? Is it my fault? I toasted, I pleaded, I cried, I made special dishes, I made myself all so appetising on those nites but nothing worked. He still had to go out after listening to my pleas or enjoying whatver flavor I had for the nite. I even went as far as reporting him to his family. The effect of that only lasted through the next 2 Fridays and then we were back to square one.I have finally come to let go and let God. When he is leaving for the nite out I simply remind him to be careful in his movements as I want him back in one piece. I then go ahead and place him in God's hands in my prayers. I know aside from security another thing we women fear in such a situation is 'another woman'. Such outings expose them to the temptations. I have harboured those fears too but as much as it has still remained just an outing with the boys, I still take these fears to God and ask him to take trhe wheel.
ReplyDeleteHe is a good husband in several other ways so I leave him and the boys to God. I have made my peace with it and life is so much easier. I have my kids to think of and such worries will only shorten my life.
Do what you have to do, make your own efforts. Mine did not change but yours could. Then leave the rest to God.
Am sure the man thinks he is still a bachelor..sit him down and talk to him,let him know your mind.if he has to go to a club he should return that same nite...Be very vigilante o,your hubby may have another agenda..
ReplyDeleteStop asking questions you have answers for. Was he not doing same as a single man? marriage doesn't chnage anybody. If you did not want a night clubbing husband- then don't marry one! He will do it till the holy spirit changes him, your prayer session jsut began.
ReplyDeleteU are a newlywed!!! Wow!!! Why don't u follow him to club too cos this ur time to have all the fun with him,so why stay at home? If u don't wanna join him just find a way to let him knw u do nt like it and u would want him to curtail it like doing something special for him
ReplyDeleteWas he doing this before you married him?,Was is ok for you then,If your answer is yes,You have to accept him the way you met him.If no, pray for him and gently talk him out of this with the power of the Holy Spirit not with your own power and pleseee do not nag.
ReplyDeleteHELL NO!!!! Don't take it as normal, he's a married man now e shud knw dat, he's outing wit d boys shud reduce.....babe dnt take it normal oh,why don't u try tlking to him or maybe one friday nyt dress up and tell him u wana tag along, afterall my husband and I go clubbing togeda and we've bin married for 3yrs,sumtimes tell him u wana tag along.
ReplyDeleteNo. He is wrong.Even if he has to go,he sud go with you. Also every friday nite???? So wrong. Recipe for infidelity. Marriage comes with new responsibilities one of which dumping the habits you had as a single guy/girl. Going one is a while I could understand but every friday nite ?????? Badddddddd
ReplyDeleteSorry Linda I think u makeup some of these ur stories or the senders just want to have fun. How can someone who is intelligent enough to use a computer system or a modern phone be asking such questions?? Well since she asked, let's answer. It is very normal for a married man who fortunately happens to be ur husband to go to clubs every Friday and come back Saturday. Some go and come back Sunday evening which is also normal. Some come home with "handbags" which is also normal. So dear don't loose sleep over such things just believe everything is normal and if u believe what I've written, my dear u'll believe anything.
ReplyDelete*vexing mood activated*
..............why can't you go with him since is a night club,if you want to keep your marriage,if then he says he's not comfortable with it the you'll know he has a hidden agenda!
ReplyDeleteI'm not married dou,but I strongly believe this aint normal...clearly your husband is not ready to settle down,or where there circumstances surrounding your marriage?like pregnancy outside wedlock?...
ReplyDelete@MzEllatyra
First b4 I answer ds question let me ask u mine,was he like ds b4 u married him?if yes then der's nofin u can do abt it cos u lived wif it all along n felt he'll change wen he gets married buh if he wasn't like ds b4 u got married then check it something is not right is either u nor he's doing something outside cos I mean its not normal to clube evryfriday n come bak saturdai morning,its okay if he clubs once in awhile n still comes bak friday nite buh wif wat ur saying my answer is no no its not normal
ReplyDeleteShe is asking the wrong question in my own opinion.
ReplyDeleteThe things to take into consideration are:
a) Was the husband going to clubs every Friday when they met or for the duration of time preceeding their marriage? If yes, see below. However if this habit was formed after marriage, it could be ue to a host of reasons which are best tackled by marriage counselling.
b) If her husband did go to the club every Friday when they were dating, did she have a problem with it then?
c) Did she voice her concerns on this before they got married. If she did..was a clear indication given as to reducing/stopping the weekly ritual?
d) If there were no clear mutual decisions or agreements made with regards to this issue before they got married..or if he was vague about how he will be prioritising his friday nights moving forward... why did she feel anything would be any different once they were hitched?
People dont change persay, and when it comes to bad habits.. lets just say its the reason why it is always advised that a women marries the man, not his potential. If this has been something he has done for such a long time.. then it should have been clear that although he MIGHT grow out of it in future, if that bridge of reprioritizing wasnt in place before they married, she shouldnt have hedged her bets on it changing after marriage
Secondly, it can be easy to focus on harmless situations way too intensly, such that they start to feel like a big problem exists. If he is the perfect man in every other way, and if you are certain that he really just likes hanging on Friday with the boys..then..shrug. I would still say she should let him know her concerns and perhaps an agreement will be reached.
If you want to use style enter that circle, how about suggesting the boys come over on the last Friday of the month? Might help. I know ideally she just wants him to stop going clubbing on fridays period!..but if this is who he has always been & she married him anyway..then she cant expect him to change in 8 months of marriage.
Not normal at all......try and stop him
ReplyDeleteSwthrt! If its normal 2 ur hubby den its abnormal 2 u!..these is my candid advice call ur husband 2 order let him knw dat his nw a married!..Papee skataa scata no mata
ReplyDeleteI think its a little to late to be asking that question. Didn't u guys date before getting married? Was he clubbing with the boys while u guys were courting. If he was, u should have nipped it in the bud then. Most ppl assume marriage makes men more responsible and homely, that doesn't apply to everyone. It may be tough for u to change it now. And to answer ur question, in my opinion its not normal for married men to club every Friday. Its not even normal for single matured men to club every Friday.
ReplyDeleteWell....If he has been clubing like that before you met him and u didn't talk about it before marrying him,it will be difficult to just take it away from him.my advice to you is to pray and talk to him about it but don't be forceful about it.
ReplyDeleteisnt obvious hes a club freak who knws how many ashs he pokes b4 day break, sorry madam carry ur cross.
ReplyDeleteBe4 I answer ds I gotta ask u first was ds happening b4 u guys got married?if yes then u gotta live wif it cos he's bin in2 it n can't stop it now if no then I'll say a big no its not normal 8months naa he shld either club wif u or stay @home wif u 4 christ sake d marriage is 2 young 4 all dat,or atimes u shld check urself if der's something dat is right,ok if he wants to chill wif d boys cool atimes buh coming bak on a saturday morning its a Big NO its not normal der's something
ReplyDeleteIt is very normal. I have been married for a few years now and my husband is not the out going type. I go to niteclubs every weekend, with my girl friends and he doesn't mind. He knows I love it, and if he can't join why spoil the fun? We have an adorable 5months old baby now and since I no longer breastfeed, he wattches her every friday nite I'm out and he doesn't mind cause she sleeps her full nites. Why does it bother U that ur husband goes out, niteclub or party? if it is a trus issue, try working it out
ReplyDeleteOK, Are you his Wife or Ho? because if you are his wife, he would love to take you anywhere, just to show off to his friends how gorgeous his wife is...But a Ho is not to be treated like a wifey material..Have you ever asked him to take you along to the club with him, and he refused? I don't see any reason why he wouldn't wanna take you out, except some really serious shit went down between you guys and he is not feeling the union that much..You should also take into cognizance the fact that most mean like hanging out with their guys most Friday nights just to chill and relive old times without the company of their ladies around, all because they don't wanna feel like you stalking them or something...Am sure there is something amiss about this dilemma of yours...Just my two cents.
ReplyDeletemadam why not go with him to d club?hes having wkend sex,deal wit it or do smtin abt it
ReplyDeletemy dear ok not normal at all.who does he rocks at the club? It a diffrent thing when he goes with u to d club. But i hope u are not the kind of women that refuse social outings with their husbands. U dont have a child to look afta at home so y not go with him.omo the plain truth IT IS NOT RIGHT. shine ur EYEZ
ReplyDeleteWas he doing this before u got married? How old is he? And no one really can tell u if its normal or not cos there is no hard and fast rule in marriage. If u r uncomfortable with it then tell him.
ReplyDeleteha it is not normal o! dint u go to the club as single girl? don't you know what happens there? shine your eye o!
ReplyDeleteI guess you should have known him well before getting married. Maybe that is what he likes,but he need to adjust,bcos marriage is about bending for each other happiness
ReplyDeletewhy complaint he is being going to the night club before you met him so why want to stop him now.you see you women i dont know it is as if you cover you eyes to this things when you were dating him all because you want to get married.this guys has been a clubber so you cant stop him now my sister.all you need now is pray and pray hard cos any form of force from you trust guys will be resisted.and if you push him further he might chose the night club and dumb you may be that is were "he makes is business contact"so they say.
ReplyDeleteLady, I've a question 4 u;
ReplyDeleteHow many years have u guys courted? Before u accepted his marital proposal, did u consider his spiritual life?
My piece of advice is, go to God in prayer cos d Almighty is faithful to deliver him. Marriage according to God was designed for ENJOYMENT. God alone can change him.
Wait a minute, hope u do not deny him of his entitlement i.e ur "BODY?"
You should have known this before you married him Na. But you berra start following him to d club o to avoid stories that touch. We don't want to see "dear LIB, another woman has snatched my husband"
ReplyDeleteDoes he go with u? Ps, its not normal. Ur husband needs to drop his old ways and live like a married man. And u know what goes on @ d clubs. Sit him down and talk about it if he doesn't stop, follow him to d club next friday. If he refuses then he is sleeping with one of dem club hoes
ReplyDeletelol!! pls take it as normal, bt he wil change wit time to become a responsible Daddy.
ReplyDeleteIs nt normal weneva he goes dere alone ,u must be goin wit him. Cos wen he is drunk nd tipsy he might be tempted to sleep wit a woman . Pls be kiaful
ReplyDeleteI'm a married woman and no it's not normal to not miss a Friday night out. Occasionally it's fine. To start with I am more extroverted than my hubby but I'm not out every Friday night...For one it's too expensive!
ReplyDeleteNo my dear it is not normal, but this you ought to have known about him when dating.....but then IT IS NOT NORMAL
ReplyDeleteyou have 2think it through yourself first.u should know 2a great extent what is normal or otherwise in ur marriage.if u really are not okay with ur huby's night life then u should get in2 talk with him(u dnt need to do it rashly)cos ur d1 feeling the pain. what if Linda or any other LIB reader tells u its okay & its actually not with u, would u go ahead & accept it and live in pain?certainly not.so go ahead & re-arrange things in ur home.u also have to pray if u believe in its efficacy.good luck!
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS NOT NORMAL.As a married man.
ReplyDeleteGross Irresponsibility! Its soo adnormal n insane.
ReplyDeleteNo, don't take this as normal pls. This is immature behaviour and you need to start praying for him. I hope you know Christ cos only him can make the 'night out with the boys' become history in your family.
ReplyDeleteyou have 2think it through yourself first.u should know 2a great extent what is normal or otherwise in ur marriage.if u really are not okay with ur huby's night life then u should get in2 talk with him(u dnt need to do it rashly)cos ur d1 feeling the pain. what if Linda or any other LIB reader tells u its okay & its actually not with u, would u go ahead & accept it and live in pain?certainly not.so go ahead & re-arrange things in ur home.u also have to pray if u believe in its efficacy.good luck!
ReplyDeleteYou need prayers my dear. It's not normal wen he does it every other weekend
ReplyDeleteMmmm I cant take this from him, going to club every friday, this uncalled for and it makes him to Lo̶̷̩̥̊͡o̶̷̩̥̊͡k irresponsible,pls my advice for U̶̲̥̅̊ ȋ̝̊̅$ to becareful and discuss it with Ʊя hubby S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ tht he will quit night club, dats not only nite nite dats an oppornity to meet and enjoy wit his babes,,, nne shine Ʊя eyes
ReplyDeleteIt's not normal. Stop it as soon as you can but wisely though.
ReplyDeleteIts fun 4 him so nxt time go wit him...8months is too early 4 dis. U myt nt b able to stop him so jst accompany him n hv fun 2geda
ReplyDeleteI will say its not normal because am 9 years in marriage, and my hubby never looks for 'time out with the boys' in this manner.
ReplyDeleteWas this a way of life before you got married? why not offer to join him this friday night? He is probably feeling trapped and feels thats his freedom window. Be diplomatic about this my dear.
All the best.
@ritaonome
one mistake we women make is, marry a guy and hope all his vices would go away, in other words, you think being married to you will change him. I am sure whan you two were dating, he led this lifestyle and you overlooked it. I don`t believe he became an ardent clubber after you got married. So my dear you will have to pray or deal with it.
ReplyDeleteHELL NO!! What kinda club every friday night? Are u sure its actually a club he goes to? Well then talk to him cos it is NOT normal!!! If he refuses, girl get ur bum shots out. Follow him to d club. Couples do dt. What rubbish. Some men jst tink sideways
ReplyDeleteNne shine Ʊя eyes ooh brfore it will be too late for u,dats not ordinary nite club, dats opportunity to stay out with his babes and U̶̲̥̅̊ knw what dat means,let him quit tht nite club of every friday, dats too bad
ReplyDeleteMarriage is for men and not for boys. This is not normal
ReplyDeleteWhen u were courting didn't you notice his penchant for clubbing. Deal with it young woman.
ReplyDeleteBest way to stop it is to dress up and go with him every friday . Trust me that why put a stop to the bad habit
ReplyDelete"I've only been married for eight months and he has never missed a Friday night with the boys". Hahahahahaha. Boys indeed! (Unless he's gay).
ReplyDelete"There's never a Friday night that he doesn't go to one night club or the other to return on
Saturday morning".
Hahahaha. I guess he also spends all those nights 'with the boys'.
In fact, I throw your question back at you: Are you normal? I know you know it, but I'm gonna say it anyway, Your husband is chronically irresponsible! Wake up & smell the coffee.
Ђδω come you don't go with him all those while or does he not allow you to go with him.in my own opinion if its once in A̶̲̥̅ while dat he goes then nothing is wrong with dat but in A̶̲̥̅ case of evry friday without u having attended with him @ all then its nt proper.you guys wld have to talk it over gently n reach A̶̲̥̅ conclusion.
ReplyDeleteMy dear you follow him now, dont just sit there and nagg...........
ReplyDeleteMy dr is not normal.wat kaind of fun is he lookin 4 dat he 2 go ot evryfrdy.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong in him clubbing. He's just meant to tame it down. Every friday overnight is too much nah ahn ahn..he should calm down with it
ReplyDeletePls don't take it normal o, cus its not. Wat is he still lookin 4 in a club n y doesn't he take u along even if ur old (whch I knw ur not) 4 it???
ReplyDeletethere are men who believe its part of life as marriage cant change the ways they were living as singles. but only the mature ones think otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI dont see it as normal for a responsible guy. You guys should discuss and express ur feelings
Every Friday night seems a bit much to me but if that's what he likes there is nothing wrong with it unless he is picking up other women.
ReplyDeleteI really dont think its normal. I have been married for three years no kids yet...earlier we go EVERYWHERE together dance together in d club laugh at some chics dressing and some drunk men..it really draws us together and made us closer...not every friday though sometimmes even on saturday nights to come back late and still head for church later in the day...but sometimes these days i just leave him to go with some friends(all married with kids) and i have like a sleepover with the wives till around 2 when they all come back and we go home. Maybe you should have a heart to heart discussion with him or better still (PACK UR BAG AND FOLLOW HIM COME FRIDAY NIGHT) abi are u an SU that doesnt go to club? Guys love ladies that are flexible ..Good girl yes but u should be nutty sometimes dont make him fantasize and dash to the club every friday!!..Or to Keep him home make sure there are extremely special dishes on Friday night...Irresistable feed him to stupor wear ur extremely sexy lingerie and lets see if he would move an inch to any yeye club (IMO) #okbye
ReplyDeleteo girl follow am dey go club now abi no harm done
ReplyDeletemaybe he should start taking you along, maybe he feels if he asks you to join him, you wouldn't want to. so why not ask him that you would want to go with him, after all don't some of his 'boys' come with their 'babes'?
ReplyDeleteMy dear its nt normal oh cos u said he hz neva misd any friday.bt let me ask,wz he like dis b4 u guys got marid? If yes den u shld talk 2him abt it or beta still dressup n go wif him evry friday weda u r in d mood or not,am sure he wil reduce d number of tyms he visit clubs once u strt goin wif him. Gdluck
ReplyDeleteMy dear sister, it is not normal at all. Try sitting him down and talking to him. Let him tell you what is eating him up because his action is a sign that something is wrong somewhere. It's either he is regretting getting married to you or he is not sure he is doing the right thing. You need to talk things over. Let him know how you feel.
ReplyDeleteI'm waiting for comments, ehhja, start now :)
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile visit my Blog http://the-finest-in-internet.blogspot.de/
Not healthy!,either u go with him or he comes back the same day.
ReplyDeleteMy question is this, before you got married to him does he go to night club?
ReplyDeleteU will have to invite a night club to know if its normal Ru2 sayso
ReplyDeleteNo my dear.fight it out and put a stop to it.Been married 4 6yrs now and my hubby was a chronic night crawler.I fought o until I won,well maybe not 100%,but at least 85% and datz a big plus.Basically,most marriages are like dat,guyz would always want to remain boys.Talk to him when u have to,admonish,even fight but in all , do it with love so that he understands dat u only want the best for him and for ur marriage.But after 8 mths I think it's kinda still early,allow him some more time with d boys b4 u bring him back home.Wish u d best.
ReplyDeleteDear Married woman, Let me ask u a question too -why don't u go to the nightclub with him???
ReplyDeleteMy dear, u married a boy who hasn't had enough of the night life and grooving. I've been married for 3yrs and my hubby hangs out every now and then, sometimes we go together but to make it an every friday ritual is ridiculous ! I bet you must have noticed these things while dating and hoped he'l change. Dats the mistake many women make. Marriage does change some pple but some other are jus die hard when some habits are involved. Its abnormal and I think you guys need to talk about it. Too bad its marriage, if it was a bf/gf thingy, ud have probably walked but in dis case u have to deal with it.
ReplyDeleteMa'am,
ReplyDeleteIt is very wrong for your husband to be visiting night clubs every Friday. That is recipe for Infidelity. His status (married) has changed and he must come to terms with that harsh reality.
What if you re the one going to Night clubs. Can he take it? I am a guy and just two years in marriage. I think it is wrong. God bless you for speaking out.
yes my dear it is normal if u trust him life is full of fun so go out wit him some friday and see hw its like to be free from all d stress (monday-friday my love)
ReplyDeleteits not ok, but i hope ur not the nagging wife. cos for just 8 months of marriage and he is still clubbing. try and talk with one of his friends about it, and c hw it will help, then be a praying wife. God will help u
ReplyDeleteMy dear, i dont think it's normal. Evn if he was doing dat as a bachelor, he shd readjust & stop it now, or if he must go, let him take u along. Marriage requires a lot of sacrifices. My husband stopped going to late nite clubs after we got married cos he saw i didnt like it.
ReplyDeleteOn a 2nd thot, r u sure he's actually clubbing?! #justasking#
Clubing is not meant for responsible men.If he want to be responsible as a married man he should desist from clubing. He should wake up to reality and stop doing the boys thing. Sweetie.. it is not normal and cannot be, not now, not tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteAm sure you know he is a club guy before you got married to him, now here you are complaining. The best think you should do right know is to pray because its so normal some people like clubing.
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely wrong. You have to pray to God to change him. In addition to prayers, you have to talk to him also.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, i'm not suprise cos a heart without christ can do anything
Normal? It is not at all. Alot happens there, the bad and the urgly. He should go to nigth vigil
ReplyDeleteMadam, the fact is that every successful marriage must be built on the foundation of CHRIST! your husband dey go church? NO! He is not yet mature for marriage because he is still living single boys life! "Every friday for club" (when you get wife 4 house) Let me put it straight to you.... ehm ... your husband is addicted to ashawo things... #POKO -__-
ReplyDeleteits abnormal,use ur head!
ReplyDeleteHe should go for night vigil instead. or is that where he met you.
ReplyDeleteIf you've been married for just only eight months, then its not unusual. Some men dont grow out of their 'Boyish' tendencies untill about two or three years into marriage.
ReplyDeleteThis coming-of-age can be fast tracked by the birth of your first child together.
In a nutshell, while such weekly routine is unbecoming of a married man, be rest assured it will gradually fade away with time.
i know some people without christ will come here and tell you that there is nothing wrong with this habit. Listen to me dear, this is a bad habit that can cause you your marriage. Definately, your husband is born again and a heart without christ can do anything (which includes;smoking,drinking and sleeping with prostitutes and other ladies). You need to talk to him respectfully and most importantly pray and ask God to change him for you. Finally, both of you should surrender your lives to Christ.
ReplyDeleteMadam, the fact is that every successful marriage must be built on the foundation of CHRIST! your husband dey go church? NO! He is not yet mature for marriage because he is still living single boys life! "Every friday for club" (when you get wife 4 house) Let me put it straight to you.... ehm ... your husband is addicted to ashawo things... #POKO -__-
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm......... This is a delicate matter! I have just 2 questions for you: ---Was he a night clubber/crawler when you were dating? ----Are there other shady actions/movements asides from clubbing each night that You consider abnormal? Before I got married, My husband clubs everyday of the week.. i didnt complain cos we go together most of the times then after we married, he still continued like nothing had changed. Because i knew already that this was in his xter,I didnt nag or complain but after a while, this became an issue. My advice to You is that NO ONE CAN DANCE FOREVER so just keep praying and talking to him( I didnt say quarrel or nag).
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmn,every Friday ke,is he the DJ,abeggggg he's irresponsible jor,he is married for a reason,he should focus on his home and stop hittin dem clubs,if u were d one doing it,would he b comfy...ask him that
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