"I have not one regret about not having children because I believe that it is the way it's supposed to be. I could not have had this life and lived it with the level of intensity that is required to do this show the way it's done if I'd had children. I'd be one of those that the kid's coming and saying, "Mom, you've neglected me".. So I have no regrets about that" - Oprah Winfrey
Not everyone is meant to have children.
ReplyDeleteTo be truly singleminded about your career, sacrifices must be made.
Just the way it is.
At last I have seen an example of a black woman who never wanted nor seem to want children (as she can still adopt)
ReplyDeleteVery interesting decision..
How old is she? She might be one of those people who end up in their sickbed surrounded by their house keepers, accountants and lawyers and medical professionals all there for financial gains. Maybe some pets as well.
As one who comes from a family oriented background, I find her decision odd and somewhat sad, and an incredibly lonely way of living (employees and friends she probably spend time with, arent exactly family) however i respect that she has her right to live as she pleases.She seemed to have worked it all out and made up her mind.
She is truthful to herself....i like that..her career is time-consuming.
ReplyDeleteI definitely believe it's better if some people don't have kids at all.
ReplyDeleteNot only better for them but also for the children who won't be born.
Especially in the African mentality a woman without children is kind of not complete.. but having children nowadays is more than just to have someone to help you with the cows and on the farm...
Somehow i feel she still has that part of her that is lonely and depressed..
ReplyDeleteI admire the courage she had to speak truthfully about such a personal issue. I don't know why people always feel like everyone must conform to the most popular culture...
ReplyDeleteOne of the many reasons i love and admire this woman! Very truthful and those not apologize for it.
ReplyDeleteLife is all about choices and they all have their consequences and she weighed hers well.
Plus, she was sexually molested byt male family members, maybe it stuff like this that informed her decision not to want to bring kids into this world
ReplyDeleteI admire this woman temondously. At least she has been to true to herself and choosen this route. Truth be told she has done ore for kids and people that many motheres and fathers have /could do for their own children.
ReplyDeleteThe people who KNOW that they do not and will not have the time, attention, money to take care of children but still proceed to procreate ...those are people that should have their heads examined.
Well written Joicee!
ReplyDeleteWell she wanted to be the female Numero Uno...she made the ultimate sacrifice and if it didn't grate on her..she never would have mentioned it..
ReplyDeleteMost successful sensible women know when to get a break from all the madness..and jump on the rat race again..
I just think she doesn't have any motherly inclinations..period..even if she had no career it would have been the same..some are just made like that!!..
...Hahahhahahaha...no wahala...
ReplyDelete..I don hear..Ash€wo dey cry 4 pikin for her old age...
@Mena me second u booo...U sabi sometin jare...Guud tok!!
Joicee and Lolami covered it all. Lots of people choose to have kids for the wrong reasons, like they choose to marry. Yes, God made most women capable of giving birth, but he did not mandate it. As with most things in this life, we are given a choice and that choice should not be informed by societal dictates or traditions. The worth of a woman in so many of our societies has been limited to how many kids she can have or in the eyes of some her value is inextricably tied to some man in her life. What is her innate value? I cannot believe that God who loves me so would have intended that my worth be limited to so little. Someone said to me the other day, if you don't have kids who will look after you when you are old? I found it to be such an odd question. Can you guarantee me, especially in this tumultuous world we live where murder and evil snatch so many away, can you guarantee me that I may not have to bury them first? Can you guarantee me that they will not wish to lead their own lives and neglect me anyway. The truth is there are no guarantees. So what if she is not surrounded by kids? She has friends and other family members who care for her. We all lack some thing or other in this life. We all, even if we have kids, will feel lonely at some point or other. That's life. Oprah has made her choice and there are many women like her who deal with the tirade of questions concerning when they plan "to validate their existence on this earth." I say that just by being here I have done so and in her case she has done so much more for so many and that, not kids, will be her legacy and that's ok.
ReplyDeleteJoicee - great post.
ReplyDeleteand to all the people who are still postulating that she must still be lonely or that not having children has left her incomplete because that is the way life is supposed to be - look around you at your country. How many people have children and are surrounded by family and are still incomplete. That line of reasoning is totally false - and NO ONE should be having children with the goal of having the children complete them. That is not their job.
At least Oprah is true to herself.
Totally agree with Mena (Dot :-)). As a mother, I think she is missing out by making that decision for career reasons...suspect she is lonely and may remain that way with this mind-set.
ReplyDeleteall f the people saying "as a mother she is missing something?" really? abegi! get over yourselves. your kids are not all that! at least she has a life! how egotistic of you people to tell someone what her choice ought to be and tell her she is lonely. I just bet YOU are the ones projecting your loneliness onto her, abi you can't tell anyone you are lonely - after all, you have kids! Nonsense!
ReplyDeleteYes, she might be lonely, but she made her choice. Having children wont necessarily mean u can't be lonely. What if she has no capacity to be a proper mother to her children? If she means what she says, then i like her. She is true to herself. She is better than some Lagos parents that see their children on some Sundays only. Children r still sleeping when they leave for work, and asleep when they get back at 11p.m or midnight. And we complain that society is corrupt. Some children raise themselves, they dont know better. It is definitely not a sin not to have children. Jesus fulfilled his purpose on earth without procreating.(forget what Da Vinci imagined:-) ). My 10kobo.
ReplyDeleteSo some of us are saying that we live our lives through our kids and becos of that, we have them. And some of us are saying that having kids does not mean that they will be taken good care of by their parents, judging from the statistics of child abuse these days.
ReplyDeleteValid points. ANd no one is either wrong or right. We are all here to fulfill our purpose on earth. Having kids or not having them. Like it has being rightly said, it is all about choices....
Definetly her choice to do whatever she wants. However, I wonder if her show is the main reason for this decision.
ReplyDeleteIf she feels that would neglect her kids then I'm sure she neglects her longtime boyfriend, Stedman.
She is truly a feminist and I doubt she would have been able to survive if she was living in Nigeria. lolll
I'm sure there are so many highly successful women world over that have kids and are happy they have them. Kids don't preclude success.Imagine how successful Olufunmilayo Ransome-Kuti was with her kids(depending on who you ask,that's even more successful than being the most successful talk show hostess ever), it's just a matter of what one wants from life. Who cares if she has kids or not.It's her personal choice and she has made it. Next Topic!
ReplyDeleteThank you Oprah!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Joicee!!
ReplyDeleteOprah really looks ugly in this video
ReplyDelete