“Every time this Ifeanyi will come and send my daughter to buy something for her and when she brings the items, he will pin her down and rape her. He always threatened them that if they say anything to anybody they will die. It was on one occasion my daughter was plaiting her hairs and when she wanted to go and ease herself, this Ifeanyi followed her and locked her inside the toilet, it was after the women that were plaiting her hairs had waited and started calling my daughter that he released her and they saw them coming out from the toilet so they suspected a foul play. When I asked my daughter what happened, she told me and when I removed her wrapper, I saw semen on my daughter's vagina.”***
“I took her to the hospital and explained what she told me to the doctor and after examining her, I remember the first thing the doctor told me: she told me Madam, your little baby of four is no longer a virgin. I lost it there and broke done because I never imagined that anybody could do that with a girl her age. The doctor asked me to hold myself as my daughter also having a discharge for which she suspected she must have been infected” ***
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Thanks Linda for bring attention to this issue. I was a victim of a relative 28 yrs ago. My family beat him and swept the issue under the rug to protect the family name. I am 35,and it is hard let go. I see my relative occasionally and sometime feel like causing him harm. I am asking God everyday to give me the heart to forgive and let go.It is extremely hard. I am seriously struggling with my past and self-esteem.
ReplyDeleteVery sad, this is becoming rampant in our society and it really needs to be addressed if not the future of our our young girls are endangered. It is despicable to say the least, but I learnt that its a psychological condition
ReplyDeleteGod have mercy. This is so sad. Women please educate your daughters and SONS(yes boys are molested too) about collecting things from "Uncles" and "Aunties", not allowing anyone to touch their private parts and keeping an atmosphere of openness so they can tell you when these perverts attack them.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that this is getting national attention. This has been happening for so long and its been swept under the rug too much. God please help these little children.
May God forgive them.
ReplyDeleteIn a patriarchal, age-dominant society like Nigeria , how are we ever going to rid ourselves of pedophelia?
ReplyDeleteAnonymous @5:45PM, I'm sorry to hear of what happened to you. It is completely unacceptable and you are NOT obligated to forgive the animal that violated you. Your family beating him up is not enough. What he did was and is an abomination and he needs to suffer for the rest of his life.
This unfortunately is not a new phenomenon. It has been happening forever (reference: the bible).
ReplyDeleteMy mother is in her late 50s and it happened to her as a child starting at about 5yrs(also by a despicable relative). Her family decided to sweep the issue under the rug because of a "what will people say" attitude. Nothing ever happened to the man as far as we can humanly tell because he also controlled the purse strings. He was a prominent man in Surulere, Lagos in the 50s. Of course i know he is in the farthest reaches of hell now.
My mother just told me about this when i was in my early 30s and only because of some things that were happening in my life. Otherwise i would never have known. In other words, think about it......you that you are reading this, your mother or grandmother could also have been a victim of sexual abuse and you don't know.
So I am not sure if it is becoming more rampant or if we as Nigerians have decided not to bury our heads in the sand anymore and now see that there is no need to be ashamed of another persons evil deeds.
Whatever sha, we should all shine our eyes well well. You have primary responsibility for your own children oh! Do not be too eager to send then to live with someone else for 'hometraining'. Stop allowing your children to run errands for other people (respect ko, spect-re ni). Let them say what they may. Be very watchful. There are a LOT of deviant people around. This is not limited to girls alone o! Boys can be abused too oh; we all know that homosexuality is on the rise and there are numerous cases of women abusing boys. For your education go to www.youtube.com and watch the documentary Bacha Bazi. You go fear!
I am not advocating you steal your kids childhood by being overly protective but by all means BE PROTECTIVE and pray.
My mother is a very strong woman...a tough Yoruba woman. You would never know such a thing happened to her. She met and married a very understanding husband (my lovely dad) and they live happily ever after. But there are some scars that can never be healed. Nuff said.
And the national assembly is spending time trying to pass spurious laws. We should be paying attention to ensuring rapists are punished to the full extent of the law!
ReplyDeleteAnd we wonder why so many people have 'issues' in naija, are these unfortunate victims receiving counselling or some other form of support? No doubt these children will suffer from this in many years to come if they are not offered help.
This is definitely not a new thing, I think many people I have spoken to have been molested, I remember even at a very young age, being molested by a girl my own age - my mother has explained this to me, it's a cycle, I too went on to play 'mummy and daddy' with another child when I was younger. Now that I'm older I am shocked that I did not know that these things were wrong. Yes, parents are afraid of talking about these issues, but sincerely you just need to warn children. WE know the signs but the perpetrators are smart, they don't act this way around US. I will make sure to tell my sons and daughters.
ReplyDeleteMost perverts were molested when they were young, this also affects non-perverts, it makes young men resent women, and they can become sadistic in their endeavours to 'trap' or 'catch' a woman they fancy.
It is very psychologically linked, this is NOT normal, young girls are not even developed sexually. The mind of the perpetrator is messed up, I am sure if you ask him/her about their past, there will be a story of abuse there.
This is not a new phenomenon and the issue of child molestation and sexual abuse is a worldwide problem. I'm glad they're organizations taking up the cause against child abuse, regardless of what society might say.
ReplyDeleteAlso, parents need to reorient themselves, we can no longer trust our children to be safe in the hands of those we call neighbors, family and friends. Access to children should be limited and monitored closely. All this sending someone else's child to run errands for you should cease, because far too often, the cases I read about in Nigeria have that in common.
I'm sorry for all the victims in Nigeria, unfortunately the resources they need are not readily available to them.
That pedophile should be hung at kirkiri and shot dead
ReplyDeleteEveryone should read the novel 'EYO' by Abidemi Sanusi
ReplyDeleteone of my wife's friend (a guy) told her how he was molested by their house girl as a kid.It was his firsttime of exploring the female anatomy.
ReplyDeleteScary stuff.
I have a 3 year old daughter that is a house on fire.Now i am very afraid for her.Imagining anyone stealing her innocence gives me a migraine and high B.P.
I need to buy a gun.
LINDA...I CAN BET THAT IF YOU BRING OUT 20 GIRLS ABOVE 18.....ABOUT 15 OF THEM MUST HAVE EXPERIENCED A KIND OF MOLESTATION OR THE OTHER......
ReplyDeleteI WAS LUCKY MINE DIDNT GET SO BAD.
THE MOMENT I GREW UP MORE AND REALISE THAT IT WAS A BAD THING...I HATED THE SOCALLED UNCLE SO BAD...EVEN TILL NOW....I HATE HIM